Apologies if this double sends,  I am having trouble with my 
mail server.

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon doesn't belong to me.  Big suprise, ne? 

Please be gentle, this is our first Sailor Moon Fic.
I blame Selene Seta Terra, a wonderful writer for this,
the idea sprung from a tale called "Being Overtired Can Do Odd 
Things".  Well here is one of the odd things

3 o'clock Youma Chapter 2.
by Auer House

----



Meanwhile last night:

Four confused senshi, and two confused cats, converged on the 'fallen' 
hero.  "Itte, that hurt!"  A voice commented from the ground.

"Mamo-chan?" An interesting mix of confusion, curiosity and anger could 
be heard in the voices.

<Oh shit!>  Thought our fallen hero, thinking of Rei. <I don't think 
she'll be that reasonable when she finds out I'm Tuxedo Kamen.>  Just 
as he was working out what to say, he felt that strange tingle which 
signalled his detransformation.  <Uh-oh> Considering what he had been 
wearing immediately prior to Mamoru tried vainly to dig himself 
deeper into the not so soft, unyeilding earth.

The girls watched in awe as the hero Tuxedo Kamen lost his clothes.  
Lying on the ground in front of them they saw a strong muscular back, 
broad shoulders, tussled black hair as though from sleeping, and 
those legs; strong, well-defined legs travelling an almost impossible 
distance from a pair of lovely shaped ankles up to ...

"Oh My God!"  The girls cried in unison.  Outlining one of the 
tightest butts this side of the Moon was a pair of lycra smooth 
black speedo-type briefs with..... pink bunnies???.

"He looks just like my old Sempai," Makoto sighed.

"He looks just like Mamoru Chibia."  said Rei as her mind went from 
awe to lust to what-the-heck in record time.

"How would you know what Mamoru Chibia looks like half naked?  
Fire _voyeurism_ perhaps?"  asked Ami curiously, with a hint of 
mild reproof.

"Yes, just how would you know, Rei?"  Mamoru butted in, forgetting 
briefly that; a) in theory Tuxedo Kamen shouldn't know that Sailor 
Mars was named Rei, b) Rei had once had the hots for him, and c) that 
both Sailor Mars and Rei Hino were not known for polite behaviour 
when embarrased, Ami's question was definitely likely to embarress 
the firey red head.

"Mamoru?" She asked once in a daze.  "Mamoro" she drawled as if 
tasting a particularly sweet peach, "Mamoru!"  she shouted angrily 
in something other than a daze.  Mamoru then found out, much to his 
chargrin, that Rei, overtired and confused, still had the hots for him.

"Itte, itte, itte."  He cried from within the centre of a conflagration 
that would do any pyromaniac proud.  "Rei!" He heard through the roar 
of flames.  He thought it might have been Sailor Jupiter, but he 
couldn't be certain.  All at once the flames ceased, leaving a very 
sore and sorry Mamoru Chibia lying in a circle of blackened earth. 
A cool breeze reminded him that 'Speedo Briefs' were not fire proof.

Suddenly the night sky radiated crimson as blushes of the century hit the 
faces of four of the Sailor Senshi.  The fifth, had she been there, would 
have simply drooled.  The ever-practical Sailor Mercury however still 
managed to use the video capture capabilities of her portable super-senshi 
computer. After all, she rationalised, with the cost of textbooks 
spiralling, that butt could be used to make a quiet little fortune.

"Can I go now?", Mamoro asked plaintively, trying harder to conceal 
his substantial assests, with little sucess.

"I don't think so."  Luna spoke for the first time to Tuxedo Kamen.  
"Apart from a few questions we might like to ask you, I suspect you 
would not get very far in your current state of undress."

<Great>, thought Mamoru.  <What did I do to deserve this?>

Further embarassment was prevented by Ami.  Having finalized her video 
capture she ran a quick Nega-probe sweep to make sure the area was 
finally clear.  At the edge of her detector range a faint trace could 
be seen moving off in the direction taken by Usagi some moments before.  
"Oh shit. Guys, we might have a problem." 

----
The Next morning, Tsukino residence

A polite rapping on the door brought Mrs Tsukino from the kitchen.  
She opened the front door to find two rather handsome men waiting 
on the front porch.

"Good-morning Mrs Tsukino," the elder gentleman said as he offered 
her a business card.  "My colleague, Mr Zoicyte and I, were wondering 
if it be possible to speak to Miss Usagi Tsukino?"

Mrs Tsukino turned the card over in her hands to read 

[Mr N Kunzite.]
[Executive Producer]
[Berylium Productions]
[Metallia Co.]
[We make the Negative Positive]

The words 'Producer' and 'Productions' seemed to leap off the card.  
"Why, of course," <Humans, so easy to...> Kunzite's thoughts were 
interrupted as Usagi's mother continued, "though I will need to be 
present, after all my little girl is a little bit to young to be 
talking to 'Producers' without some form of supervision.  What is it 
you wish to discuss with her?  If I my ask?"

"Our company is interested in making a live action version of Sailor Moon.  
I happened to be passing the Crown Café Arcade yesterday when I saw you 
daughter leave.  Something about her suggested that she would be perfect 
for the role of Sailor Moon."  Kunzite lied smoothly.

"Oh."

"Usagi.  USAGI!!!!  USAGI TSUKINO get out of bed and get down here 
at once!" In the time honored tradition of mother's everywhere, Mrs 
Tsukino's voice shifted from host to MOTHER and back to host in an 
instant as she turned back to her guests, "I'm sorry, she's always 
difficult to get up in the mornings," she apologised to the two 
handsome men waiting on the doorstep.  "Won't you please come in?"

Kunzite and Zoicyte followed Usagi's mother, exchanging wry glances 
over the universal nature of Mothers, into the living room to await 
the arrival of the young lady they so desperately wished to speak with.

The young lady in question however was only just waking, her mind a 
jumble of half-forgotten battles and the mild inkling that she was 
in _big_trouble.  "Luna, did anything happen last night?

"Yes and we need to talk about it now!" Luna excalimed from the midst 
of the shattered alarm clock.  Luna was about to continue when Usagi's 
mother could be heard calling up the stairs. "Usagi Tsukino, you 
come down here this _instant_!"

"We can talk about it later, Luna,"  Usagi said as she struggled into 
her general day clothes.  So distracted by the thought of visitors 
this early, 9.00am on a Saturday morning.  <This had better be important> 
she thought grumbling to herself.  She realised that it couldn't be any 
of the girls as her Mum would have just sent them up. Hurrying to get 
dresses Usagi failed to register the general state of disrepair of her 
Bunny Pyjamas or the worried look on Luna's face.

"But we need to talk _now_" Luna wailed plaintively, as she watched 
her charge literally charge out of her room.  She was even more astounded 
when Usagi raced back in looking slightly green, and fixed Luna with a 
stare that would have melted 10 ft thick steel plate. "Luna, just 
_what_ happened last night?" she demanded.  Luna's mouth dropped to 
the floor as she was reminded of Serenity in one of her rare foul moods.

The Clock winds back 5 seconds:

Usagi wandered down the stairs to the living room alive with curiosity.  
Who would be visiting her this early on a Saturday, maybe Mamo-chan.... 
 Her pleasant thoughts on that tall, dark haired, steely grey-eyed, 
well proportioned college student were rudely interrupted as she glanced 
around the corner to see Zoicyte sitting drinking tea with her Mother, 
another older gentleman sat nearby.  Performing a one-eighty degree 
turn, Usagi nearly broke the sound barrier as she raced back to her room.

Now:

"LUNA! What is Zoicite doing having tea with my Mother?" her voice would 
have shattered the entire Crystal Palace and Luna winced.

"Zoicite's _here_?"

"No, he's in Kansas.  Of course, he's here.  He's sitting in the living 
room having tea and cake with Mother.  There's an older man there with him."

"They must have followed you last night."

"They must have followed me last night?  What do you mean followed me, 
but nothing happened last night. Did it?"  Usagi asked suddenly a 
little worried by the possible answers.

During Usagi's tirade Luna muttered, "But I thought they hadn't managed 
to follow you."

"Huh?"

Luna was saved, or prevented depending on your point of view, from 
answering as Usagi's mother could be heard calling very stridently 
"Usagi, get down here at once."

"Gotta go."

Usagi slowly walked down the stairs with a degree of composure that 
would have surprised most people who knew her.  Of course this sudden 
composure was do to the fact that she dreaded what would happen when 
she reached the bottom.  Unfortunately for Usagi, her bearing 
appeared so regal that her guests were heard to gasp as she stepped 
around the corner.

"Ah Miss Tsukino, it is a pleasure to meet you."  Kunzite said politely 
at he handed Usagi another business card.  As she took it, he looked Usagi 
up and down in an appreciative manner.  His thoughts however were far 
from polite, as he dimly glimped the sheer power that resided in her tiny 
frame <She is more dangerous than we thought,> he directed a mind pulse 
to Zoicite.  <We had better exercise extreme caution for the moment.>  
"Our company is interested in staging a 'live-action version' of Sailor 
Moon and we thought that you might fill the role of Sailor Moon very well."

"What!" squeaked Usagi.

"I suppose she does look a little bit like Sailor Moon.  But she is a bit 
of a klutz, and I think you would have some troubles with your scheduling.  
My daughter is notorious for her tardiness."

"That's ok, Mrs. Tsukino, I am sure that we could work around that, after 
all Sailor Moon is often a late arrival at any battle anyway."  Zoicyte 
chimed in spitefully.

"You want to me play Sailor Moon?"  Usagi finally managed to ask. <yeah, 
like that's going to happen>.

"Well you do appear to have some qualities that would make any performance 
along those lines quite believable, Miss Tsukino."  Kunzite commented 
wryly remembering this girl's 'performance' from the night before.

"Yes _tardiness_ and sheer _klutzability_ seem to be Sailor Moon trademarks", 
Zoicyte commented.

"That may be the case," Usagi said with a smile, "but I believe she and 
the Senshi have always dusted the opposition."

"Not all of the oppostion, as I understand it,"  Zoicyte commented in a 
fairly superior tone.

"Oh, yes..... One of the evil generals, as usual, escaped, at least 
according to the gossip."  Turning to face Kunzite, Usagi asked waspishly 
"and just exactly who are you intending to cast in that role?  You may 
find it hard to find a male in all of Japan as vapid and as bent as _that_ 
particular _underling_.  You might have to cast an Australian... King's 
Cross, Sydney, I believe would have the kind of person you are looking for.  
Hey, maybe you you should cast a _girl_ in that role, it would be 
a _lot_ more believable."

Kunzite suddenly found himself in the invidious position of attempting 
to calm Zoicyte down whilst maintaining the illusion that this was a 
meeting about audition.  "You will have to excuse my collegue, Madames'," 
he said as he grabbed Zoicyte's coat tail, "he is rather fond of that 
_general_, after all, where would Sailor Moon be without them?"

"Probably sleeping peacefully, dreaming of long legs, strong biceps, 
pectorals like iron, taut gluteus maximuses..." Usagi's voice 
trailed off and Kunzite and Zoicite actually blushed. 

"Usagi, you actually passed you anatomy tests, I'm so pleased!"  
Her Mother's voice cutting across the picture building in her mind.

"Ahem.... well, back to the subject at hand..."

"I'm not sure, I mean I've heard acting is not all it's cracked up 
to be."  Usagi commented whilst trying to turn her communicator on, 
send only; she had automatically shoved it into her coat pocket.  
"After all, I don't think I could handle any 'early morning' 
wake-up calls."

"Miss Tsukino, as I understand it, you perform best during early 
mornings." Kunzite replied in a smug sort of way.  Usagi felt the 
vaguest of impresssions that the two were trying to bait her. She 
managed to switch on the communicator, as her mind whirled with the 
possibilities.

Before Usagi could protest that last statement her mother chimed in, 
"I have no idea where you got that idea from, but I can assure that 
the only thing Usagi performs well in during the morning is sleeping."

"Well I am sure for the sort of bonus salary we are offering your 
daughter could perform beautifully,"  Kunzite said as he opened 
the palm of his hand to display one of the rainbow crystals.

"Oh, what a beautiful ruby", Mrs Tsukino gasped as her gaze drank 
in the flawless gem.

Usagi fought to keep any reaction from her face.  "I don't know, 
I'd have to think about it, after all, my studies come first."  
Mrs Tsukino stared at Usagi, wondering where this changeling had 
come from.  *We have to be very careful here, Usagi-chan*, the 
more mature part of her said in her mind. *Who...* *Never mind 
that now, kitten, just let me take over here*.  "I mean it is a 
beautiful crystal, like part of a rainbow,"  Usagi continued hoping 
to clue the rest of the Senshi in on what was happening.  "But 
I don't think my acting ability is up to that sort of a reward."

"Oh come now dear,"  Kunzite said, "I think you vastly underrate 
your talent in that area."

"I don't know Mr. Kunzite,  Usagi has never been one for pulling 
off believable acting in the past, she is so open that its easy 
to see everything there is."  Usagi's mother said fondly.  "She 
hasn't been able to hide a bad test score in years."

"Mum!!!!!"

"Anyway we thought that you might like to accompany us to our 
studio for a screen test,"  Kunzite interrupted.  "We have the 
studio already set up, and if you past the test we could begin 
filming immediately.  We were planning on starting by filming a 
climatic battle scene between the Sailor Senshi and the Negaverse, 
but at the moment we haven't found the right people to play the 
other Senshi.  Would you have some friends that would like to 
audition for some of the other roles.?

"I'm not sure how good Molly, Melvin, Darien or Lita would be 
as actors.  And I am very certain the Serana would be an absolute 
klutz, though I suppose Mina would be perfect, but I suppose I 
could always ask them."  Usagi said making names up off the top of 
her head, who ever heard of anyone called Darien anyway.  "Don't you 
have anyone else lined up for auditions?  I would have thought 
that you would be literally flooded with applicants."

"Oh we are being very selective in our choices.  We don't just want 
anyone you know.  In fact we have been looking for someone with your 
particular qualities for a very long time,"  Kunzite commented with 
a wry smile.  "At times it has seemed like endless nights' work to 
finally arrive at this moment."

"Endless nights, yes I can understand that."

"Well Mr. Kunzite, I am sure that Usagi is very flattered by this 
opportunity, but we will have to discuss it amongst ourselves."  
Mrs Tsukino finally broken back into the conversation, tiring of 
watching what looked like a tennis match.  "After all, I think that 
Usagi would have to really consider her commitments before attempting 
to embark on an acting career."  Of course Mrs Tsukino was thinking 
about Usagi's grades, Kunzite however interpretted her comments to 
mean that she was aware of her daughter's extra curicular activities.

"I am sure that her commitments would allow her to audition for us.  
Maybe she could come to the Starlight Tower tomorrow?  At 3.30pm 
would be a good time."

"Well, I will discuss it with my husband, Mr Kunzite."

"Ah yes Mrs Tsukino, we would appreciate that."  Zoicyte finally 
spoke again, having regained something resembling composure.

Turning to face Usagi both men said as they prepared to leave, 
"We hope to see you tomorrow, after all we could always come and 
visit again."  With that they bid Mrs Tsukino a polite farewell.


To Be Continued...