NIDO: Wow... can I really comment on an MST?
NACHO: You can try... we'll help!
As the name implies, POKENET is a Pokemon/Dragnet crossover, but you
don't need to know anything about Dragnet to understand it. (I sure
don't... I had to find a website just to remember the opening and
closing!)
Chester: Dragnet is a detective thing?
;^,^;;: (Kurama) What are we doing here? This ain't no newbie!
ACE: Well... that's no reason to withhold comments! Having nothing
productive to say is only an excuse if you're lazy.
SHEILA: Yep, that's Nidoking!
NIDO: Hey! ... Well, I guess it's true.
^_^x: (Kenshin) Ohaiyo, minna! (looks at fic) Wai! Script form...
perfect!
C: Hey, Nidoking! Here's an MST for ya!
NIDO: Thanks, C. Always appreciate it.
;^,^;;: Script form, Himura-san? (thinks) Is he really _not_ a newbie?
NIDO: I'm enough of a veteran to know when script form is appropriate to
the subject matter. The comedy in this fic mostly centers around the
dialogue, with very little action. There are long stints of talking with
no action whatsoever, and what action there is works perfectly in the
script format. Prose just becomes tedious in those circumstances.
ACE: Man... that's a LONG comment.
^_^x: Hey, a disclaimer!
C: Oh right... we had enough flack coming from Hans Holm (hi, guy!) to
merit
this... ok, here it is:
NIDO: (snips disclaimer)
SHEILA: Are you sure you should be doing that?
NIDO: Relax. He's already made the disclaimer... I'll just put a "see
original message" here and everything should be fine, right?
NACHO: Honestly, we're not making money off of this stuff, and I really
don't see any of what we're doing as taking money away from the
originators of the ideas. Yes, technically, we could be sued for what
we're doing, but who would bother?
Happy now?
ACE: <Hans> Very content, thank you.
<<snippage throughout>>
NACHO: Callous brute! You have destroyed a masterpiece!
POKENET � The Big Egg Scramble
NOTE: The story you are about to read is fake. Made-up. Imagined.
Fiction. The names have been changed, not to protect the innocent (is
anyone, truly, deep in their hearts, purely innocent?)
^_^x: (Misty) My Togepi is as innocent as one can get!
(But deep inside the egg pokemon lies an evil so insidious, so
malicious, so > dastardly that all will feel horrified at this parody of
innocence...)
ACE: The original manuscript of the first ever Togepi spamfic.
;^_^;;: (Togepi) tsuki?
but because they�
re funnier this way round.
C: (author) An' that's 'coz I say so! (cracks whip)
NIDO: Well... yes, why not?
^_^x: Ah, yes... a fanfic technique called "tell, not show"
;^_^;;: An effective way to get critics and irritate people!
NACHO: Even I recognized that as a parody of the original opening...
"The story you are about to see is real. However, the names have been
changed to protect the innocent."
ACE: And yet they changed the names of the guilty too...
NIDO: OK, so some knowledge of the original series would have helped
there. So sue me!
SHEILA: Don't tempt anyone! You already snipped the disclaimer...
ASH: This is the city. Pewter, I think, although it could be Saffron.
I�
ve forgotten. Anyway, I work here. I�m a cop.
BROCK: Private Investigator.
ASH: Right. I�m a Private Investigator.
C: Canon Ash?
^_^x: Worse... dub Ash.
C: Oh.
NIDO: Actually, I have significantly reduced Ash's intelligence for
humor purposes even from his dub characterization.
ACE: Is that even possible?
<SNIP>
ASH: But the untimely call had interrupted my peaceful morning, and I
began to wish for something to do now that I�d lost my place in
counting
the number of holes in the ceiling.
BROCK: Maybe you could learn to hold your internal monologues
silently?
ASH: I can�t do that, Brock. I have a responsibility to the readers
to
keep them informed of what I�m thinking.
;^_^;;: It's the author's fault... script form. It's another common
newbie
tendency, next to (shudder) footnotes. I suggest...
C: Sshhh, Kurama! This ain't SLR NP! He ain't a newbie!
NIDO: Thank you. I was nearly halfway done Jellic's Hateful Quest when I
started this fic.
ACE: And not much farther along when you finished.
NIDO: Yep. This fic went by pretty quickly.
SHEILA: So what's the delay on the sequel?
NIDO: I'm working on it!
;^,^;;: What quacks like a duck...
^.^x: Is a psyduck? (wham boom trash)... sorry, its all these dub-like
poke-
jokes...
NACHO: I see... the inane sense of humor is rubbing off on the readers.
BROCK: You could inform the readers of what you�re thinking with a
blank
page!
ASH:
C: Heh. I completely agree.
;^.^;;: You missed a quote there... maybe ellipses would work bet--
C: Shut up!
NACHO: If there were an ellipsis there, it wouldn't be a blank line!
There is a knock on the door. Ash dives under the desk.
ASH: Tell them the check�s in the mail!
BROCK: Relax, Ash, it�s probably just a client. (shouting) COME IN!
ASH: It was a girl, a redhead, who looked a little familiar to me...
MISTY: Of course I�m familiar to you, Ash! You came to my Gym just
last
week asking about a suspect!
ASH: That�s right, I remember now... I was getting a room at the
Cerulean Holiday Inn when some guy in a fancy suit snatched my keys
and
drove off in my car!
MISTY: That would have been the valet...
ASH: Yeah, he told us the same story but we beat a confession out of
him. Right, Pikachu?
PIKACHU: Pika?
C: Heh. So far, I'm liking the story. Any sillier and this whole Mst
would go
defunct.
^_^x: We usually make it a rule not to go silly with silly fics...
what's the point,
anywho?
NIDO: Well, I'm OAVing Ran Wars. Script form, silliness, plenty of humor
all its own... and that's going pretty well.
SHEILA: Speaking of which...
NIDO: I'm working on it!
;^_^;;: Speaking of which... Nidoking, the thing is that even if I
_ignore_ the
fact that this is in script, there's that little issue called OOCness
coming from
your fic. Granted that it's a crossover, but people tend to not care
and since
this is mainly a pokefic, I would suggest... IYAAAAAHHHH!!! (wham bam
crash boom pika jiggly machop)
JUNK: Just keep Brock in character and I'll be satisfied!
NIDO: Right... yes, Ash has lost a few brain cells and Brock often joins
him in stupidity, neither quite being in character. It's a sacrifice
that I've made for the sake of humor. The scene from part 2 that I used
as a preview for the story (when Ash and Brock introduce themselves to
Nurse Joy... you'll see it later today) will demonstrate that a bit
better than I could explain it here.
ACE: You can pronounce parentheses? I'm impressed.
ASH: Anyone will cave in to shock therapy.
MISTY: Well, I have a problem. My Togepi is gone! I left it outside
while I went into the Pokemart and when I came out, it wasn�t there!
ASH: Oh. You shouldn�t have left it outside then.
BROCK: Pokemon aren�t allowed into the Pokemarts unless they�re
inside
Pokeballs. There�s a place to leave your Pokemon that�s supposed to
be
safe, but apparently someone stole the Togepi from it.
ASH: Well, that�s too bad. I hope you find it.
Misty hits Ash over the head with a mallet.
C: Heh. Actually, not far from what the real Ash would say, canon or
otherwise > (who knows?).
NIDO: Just doing what comes naturally, as always.
<SNIP>
ACE: All your own material this time, too...
NIDO: I'm getting tired of manually adding > to the beginning of every
line... Stupid Outlock Excess...
ASH: Realizing that sitting around the office wasn�t going to get us
anywhere, I quickly made two important decisions. First, I decided to
get into the car and drive over to the Pokemart to investigate...
BROCK: That�s a great idea, Ash!
MISTY: What�s so great about that idea? Even I could have thought of
it!
BROCK: Then why do you need Private Investigators?
C: Heh.
^_^x: The stupidest one was the one who made the most sense.
NACHO: Happens a lot more later on...
MISTY: Where are you going? The Pokemart is the other way!
ASH: I know that! I need a big running start!
There is a loud crash from inside the car.
BROCK: Wow! That mallet�s even bigger than the car is! How do you do
that?
There is another crash, similar to the first.
^_^x: (Brock) Why, hello, Mi--
(wham)
C: (Ash) The Togepi is as good as--
(wham)
;^_^;;: (Tracey) What am I doi--
(wham)
(random passerby) Dearie, do you know whe--
(wham)
C: This is just gratuitous. Not that that's a bad thing...
NIDO: I know. The whole point is to thoroughly establish the mallet as a
running gag. Trust me, it all but disappears as the story progresses.
NACHO: No, it doesn't. The frequency of appearance decreases, true, but
it's always there, looming over Ash like that Pokemon League hat.
Brock and Misty step into the Pokemart. Ash is about to enter,
but
stops to look at the sign on the box, then lifts Pikachu onto the box
and enters the Pokemart. From inside...
^_^x: Not that Pikachu was actually had a great influence in the
plot...
C: But I feel Pikachu had been downplayed somewhat... where are the
Pikachu POVs? What does Pikachu feel about the situation? He could
actualy give perspective into the whole situation...
NIDO: Next you'll be asking for Nell to put in a cameo appearance...
SHEILA: Watch it... if she does, he'll demand that she become a main
character!
NIDO: The whole point of this was that I noticed Pikachu had a very
small part. This way, that doesn't matter until they recover Pikachu.
ACE: And having a Pikachu POV here would rather defeat the purpose of it
being a mystery. The point is that the reader DOESN'T know what's
happened to Pikachu...
^.^x;: Oro?
C: Just kidding, just kidding ;P
NIDO: Ah, I understand. The literary critic in you burns for a more
intricate plot. Sorry, but that's what the Razor Chronicles and The
Portal are for.
SHEILA:
NIDO: I'm working on them!
JENNY: This is going to be such a long investigation...
C: Well, it's been a funny read. It doesn't take itself too seriously,
hence the
script format... but I have to see the whole series to _really_ give
out my
verdict.
NIDO: My webpage is always out there... and should be free of formatting
problems, so the control characters, accented 'e's and smart quotes come
out just fine.
ACE: If only the stories made sense.
^_^x: Real silly... can't wait for the Team Rocket part (thinks)
actually, the
whole time Ash and co. were acting very TR-like.
;^_^;;: Aside from the usual questionable plot, horrid script form,
and
absolutely OOC characters, there is a lot of room for improvement. I
would
strongly suggest (wham bam bam thang gang sang mang kang rang hang...)
C: Ignore him.
NIDO: Really? Let me see... "usual" questionable plot? Does that mean
you usually find MY plots questionable, or just most of the plots that
you review?
Ja!
C. Casta�eda
NIDO: That control character comes out fine for me... and so many people
insist on removing accented 'e's from words like Pokemon, cafe, and
fiance...
NACHO: Nidoking, you cave in too easily. You even went through your
entire page and changed the spelling from Ukkyo to Ukyo after John Biles
criticized you for it.
NIDO: It was not because he criticized me for it, nor was it because of
the other criticisms I got. It was just something that needed to be
done.
SHEILA: You caved.
NIDO: All right! I caved!
ACE: Wimp.
<END FANFIC>
Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" where we make things up as we go
along, whether they make sense or badger.
JOHNNY BRAVO: *sigh* The only woman I ever really loved... and she's
gone. I wonder if I'll ever get over - Hey! Nuggets!
JACKIE CHAN: Oh, sorry. I broke your spy camera! (pause) SPY CAMERA?!
My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp