This is it:  at last, the final version of Okaeri, Kaori-chan!

C&C is greatly appreciated.  What was missing from this story 

the first time I posted it (a suitable ending) has been added, 

along with a few other scenes.  Please read it through; you'll 

find something new, and perhaps surprising.  This is a special 

work for me.  I hope when it's all done and you've finished it, 

you can say you enjoyed it.  



Words in <these brackets> denote words spoken in English.



                         *    *    *    *



...Satoru answered the phone before the first ring ended.

     "He... hello?"  The voice at the other end was too familiar.

     "Kaori?"

     "Satoru?"

     "It's me.  What's wrong?"

     "Can you... Can you pick me up at the airport?"

     "Which one?"

     "Haneda.  Please hurry."

     "Sure.  I'll be there in a minute."



It was a dark night in November when Satoru Nobata received the 

phone call that would change his life.  Kaori was back from 

America, and waiting for *him*.



But something was not right about her return.



And finding out what brought Kaori back would either bring them 

together as one, or create a rift between them too wide to ever 

close...



------------------------------------------------------------------



                         *    *    *    *



               O K A E R I,   K A O R I - C H A N !

                      (Welcome Home, Kaori!)



                              *    *



       "Okaeri, Kaori-chan!" (c) 1998-2000 Matthew Johnston.

                       All Rights Reserved.



  This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance of the characters

     to any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  



                         *    *    *    *



------------------------------------------------------------------



8:52 PM.

     "It's time for bed, dear."  Satoru Nobata looked at his 

daughter and smiled.

     "But..."  The little girl looked back at her father from the 

comfort of the floor,  her face glowing blue-green in the fast-

changing light of the television.  Satoru cut her off with an 

upraised finger.

     "Now, I let you stay up an hour late already."  Satoru stood, 

and stepped to his daughter; her eyes grew even larger with his 

approach.  "It's time for you," he reached down and scooped her up 

in his arms, "to go to bed."  With that, he started for the 

stairs, and her bedroom.  But the little girl had other plans.

     "Will you tell me a story?  Pleeease?"  Her soft, pouting 

voice echoed in Satoru's ears.

     "Oh, okay," he relented.  "But just a short one."  He bounced 

the girl a couple of times in his arms, and carried her, squealing 

in mirth, up the stairs to her room.



9:42 PM.

     "...And so they lived many happy years, and the promised 

tasks were completed.  Yet long afterward, when all had passed 

away into distant memory, there were many who wondered whether 

King Taran, Queen Eilonwy, and their companions had indeed walked 

the earth, or whether they had been no more than dreams set down 

to beguile children."  Satoru poked his giggling daughter on the 

nose.  "And, in time," he finished, "only the bards knew the truth 

of it."

     "Can you tell me another one?"

     "I already told you one!  Now, you need to get to sleep.  

Your first day of school is tomorrow, and you don't want to be all 

sleepy and yawning during class, do you?"

     The little girl shook her head.  "Nuh-uh."  She stuffed her 

head in her pillow and clinched her eyes shut.  Satoru grinned and 

pulled the comforter above her pajama-clad shoulders.

     "Daddy?"

     "Yeah, honey?"

     "Were King Terran and Queen Eelownwee real?"

     Satoru considered the words, and winked.  "They sure were."

     "How do you know?"

     "Oh, I know quite a bit.  And do you know why I know a quite 

a bit?"

     "Why?"

     "Because I wasn't sleepy on my first day of school."

     His daughter giggled, and Satoru smiled reflexively.

     "It's true!  Cross my heart."  The man dutifully mimed an X 

across his chest.  "Now, you get some sleep, okay?"

     "'Kay."

     "Good night, angel."

     "G' night, daddy."

     The word touched Satoru like a feather riding a storm.  

Daddy.  A whispered kiss from his angel.  Silently, he nearly shut 

the door, leaving a strip of the hall's light to try and fill the 

room.  The father lingered outside his daughter's mostly closed 

door for a long moment, then walked slowly to his own.

     As he flipped on the light switch, he could feel it building 

somewhere inside of him.   It cut to remember, but he had to 

relive.

     "Just one more time," he told himself.  After a deep breath, 

Satoru slid open his dresser drawer, and pulled out the worn shoe 

box.  He didn't dare open it, not yet.

     First, a drink.

     The very top shelf of the left kitchen cupboard kept the 

bottle safe, hidden from tiny eyes.  There was only one bottle, 

close to empty, and faded with age.  "Just one more," he reminded 

himself.  He poured the last drink out of the reluctant bottle, 

and considered the glass.

     "Not yet."  He wanted to savor this.  He took his old friends 

to the living room.  The television still blared something about a 

jazz concert, but it wasn't important at the moment.  At any other 

moment, it would have been, but...

     Satoru flipped the TV off at the source, and slid into his 

recliner.  He nursed his drink and set it on the end table, well 

away from any edge.  Now was as good a time as any.

     Satoru opened the box, and remembered.



                         *    *    *    *



September 18th, 1985.

     "You're not older than me!"  Kaori Akazawa, six years old, 

knew this to be true.  But her sandbox companion shook his head.

     "I am too!"

       "Nuh-uh."

     "Uh-huh!  I'm six days, seven hours, sixteen minutes, thirty-

seven seconds older," Satoru's smiled with pride as he calculated 

in the sand.

     Perplexed, Kaori looked at him for a moment, allowing the 

data to sink in.  As it hit her, Satoru felt the weather change -- 

the colors around Kaori seemed to shift ever so much, from blue 

towards red.  His eyes focused on the empty air next to Kaori, 

intently studying what he thought he was seeing.

     Satoru didn't notice that Kaori was shaking until he heard a 

tiny sob.

     "Nuh-uh..." she attempted.  A tear tossed itself from her 

eye, and swam down her face.  Another joined it, and another.

     "Kaori, I'm sorry."  But it was too late.  A wash of tears 

fell to the sand from her cheeks.  Slowly, deliberately, Kaori 

stood and balled her fists.

     "Kaori?"  The wind shifted, tossing her long red locks 

forward from her back.  Wandering grains skimmed the tops of the 

miniature dunes, and the caught the sunlight.  Like glitter on 

paper, they covered his view of the girl.

     For a brief second, Satoru could see something.  Something 

still, but also moving.  Maybe it had to do with the way the wind 

had changed, forcing her hair into her eyes, and the sand into 

his.  Even though she was angry, she was... Satoru fought for a 

word.  Pretty?

     Then Kaori ran.

     To Satoru, it seemed like the wind had sucked her into 

another world.  She was there one moment, gone the very next.  

When he turned to look, Kaori was halfway across the playground, 

past the swings, and almost to the benches.  By the time he was 

standing, she had scrabbled over the bench and was heading towards 

the playground monitor.

     "I'm gonna get it now," Satoru realized.

     And he did.  The teacher on duty told Mr. Asato, his real 

teacher, and he made Satoru spend an hour after school in room 2-

B, working on math drills.  As he finished the twentieth and final 

page of subtraction, Satoru took his first look up from his desk 

since a random teacher walked in and whapped him with his ruler 

for "daydreaming."

     Mr. Asato was smiling.  The cold-hearted demon that claimed 

to be his teacher was actually smiling.  Satoru removed teaching 

from his list of what he wanted to be when he grew up and handed 

the immense stack of papers to the grinning tormentor.

     "You may go now, Satoru," Mr. Asato was so collected, 

speaking with such a level candor, that Satoru knew he had to be 

an alien.  No human could be that calm.

     "Thank you, sir."  The boy wasted no time in gathering his 

things and exiting the classroom.  "Stupid girl.  Why do I play 

with her anyway," he grumbled as he turned left at the classroom 

door.  A small shuffling alerted him to another presence in the 

hall.  He turned around, his statement of excuse ready for even 

the upper grade teachers, but got cut off by a tiny smile.

     "Hi, Satoru."  Kaori must have seen the irritation on his 

face, because she turned her gaze to the wall and sighed.  "I'm 

sorry about the whole 'telling on the teacher' thing.  I didn't 

think the teacher'd take it so seriously."

     Satoru smiled.  "That's okay."  The irritation faded, no 

matter how much he tried to remind himself about the reams of math 

homework he had just completed.  "Thanks for, you know, staying."

     "I didn't have anything to do after school," Kaori sniffed 

and looked at her nails.

     "Yeah, well, you still won't have anything to do.  I can't 

play with you anymore.  Satoru's smile turned to a lop-sided grin.  

"You get me into too much trouble."

     "Oh, get off it.  We better get home before we get into real 

trouble.  C'mon, I'll race you!"

     "I'll win so easy, you won't know what hit you!"  Satoru 

didn't beat Kaori in their first race home, but, by the time the 

pair reached their houses, it didn't really matter.



March 29th, 1989.

     "Hey, Kaori!  Gonna run today?"  The voice was Masao 

Ishiki's.  He sounded like his usual arrogant self.  As a sixth 

grader, he made sure everybody knew his superiority, even though 

he wasn't more than a few months older than most of the fifth-

graders.

     "Yeah," Satoru saw Kaori's shoulders tighten as she spoke.  

The girl couldn't answer either way without ridicule.  The truth 

was as good an answer as any, Satoru supposed.

     Then the crowd of boys behind Masao spoke.

     "Are you even a girl?"

     "Why don't you go to the monkey bars and play with the rest 

of the girls?"

     "She's not a girl!"

     "Well, she sure ain't a boy!"

     "Hey Satoru!  Is she a girl?"

     "Yeah, I bet Satoru knows!"

     Kaori fumed.  "C'mon, Satoru, let's get out of here."

     "That's it, defend your boyfriend!"

     "That's it, Satoru!  Hide behind your girlfriend."

     Satoru scowled at the group, but did no more.  As the pair 

turned to walk away, the horde surrounded them.

     "C'mon, Satoru!  Be a man!"

     "Satoru likes a guy!"

     "Satoru and Kaori sitting in a tree..."

     "If Kaori's so big and strong, how come she doesn't wanna be 

around other guys?"

     "Yeah!"  Masao proudly stepped forward.  "Let's have it 

then."  He took on the role of ringleader, prancing around the 

pair dramatically.  Satoru had closed his eyes, and was taking it 

well, until he felt Kaori back into him.  They both tumbled to the 

ground.  Satoru opened his eyes just after the impact, and saw the 

tall leader laughing.  His arms were outstretched, his palms 

facing forward.

     "He pushed you?"  Satoru growled softly.

     "Look at the two lovebirds!"

     "Let's see some action!"

     Kaori nodded as she got up.  "But don't--"

     It was too late.  Satoru was on the boy before anybody could 

so much as breath.  Satoru had never fought before, but he knew 

basically what to do.  A flurry of punches hit home, landing on 

Masao's face and chest, though as many deflected harmlessly.

     "Hey!  Get offa me!  Help!"

     The ring of boys first contracted, then expanded when the 

small boy noticed the teacher coming and alerted his cohorts.  

When Kaori saw the teacher coming, she tried to peel Satoru from 

the whimpering Masao.  She didn't try very hard until the 

teacher's whistle blew.

     "That's it!  All of you!  Break it up!"  As Satoru got up, he 

noticed the recess monitor for the first time.  The crowd of boys 

had dispersed, leaving only Kaori, Masao, and himself.

     All three spent the rest of the school day in the principal's 

office, apologizing, but not to each other.

     "This isn't the first time I've seen you two in my office," 

the principal began, motioning to Kaori and Satoru with stern 

hands.  "I must say I'm more than a little disappointed.  I 

expected better from you two."  The pair lowered their heads 

simultaneously.  Satoru began to smile at it, but hid the ill-

timed grin before the principal or Masao noticed.

     "And you,"  The balding man turned his icy gaze to Masao.  

"You don't seem to have too much respect for the fairer sex, do 

you?"

     "I..."  Masao stopped, realizing how futile it would be to 

try and argue, and how damaging it would be to agree.

     "Nothing.  Satoru, Masao.  I'm calling your parents.  I'll 

let them deal with you when school's over."  Satoru breathed a 

sigh of relief.  "But!  Not before all three of you write me a 

five page report on the damaging effects of fighting."

     Kaori looked at the principal, her expression hurt.  "Even 

me?"

     "I did say 'all three of you,' didn't I?"

     "Yes, but..."

     "No but's.  The monitor saw you.  She said you didn't do 

anything to stop Satoru, and in a court of law, that's as good as 

committing the crime yourself."

     "But..." Satoru began even before he had a sentence to speak.  

Masao threw a sharp gaze at him, the beginnings of a condescending 

grin playing on his face.  Satoru could almost hear Masao 

thinking, 'that's it, protect your girlfriend.'

     The principal shook his head once, silencing the boy before 

he could protest on Kaori's behalf.  "I like to keep an orderly 

school.  That means obedient students who don't cause fights," he 

looked pointedly at Kaori, "or let them continue."

     Satoru opened his mouth to try another defense, but the 

elderly principal continued.  "The boys in the group will learn 

their lesson, too.  When Masao here tells them he had to write a 

seven page paper, they'll know the same will happen to them if 

they do it again."

     "Seven!?  What happened to five?"  Masao's eyes looked like 

saucers; his pupils seemed imperceptibly small.

     "That's what I said, Mr. Ishiki.  And if you keep talking 

like that, I'll just tack on a few more pages."

     "Yes, sir."

     "Now, you're all dismissed.  Be here after school, and we'll 

walk to the detention room together."

     "Yes, sir," all three muttered as they bowed and left.

     "Way to go, Nobata," Masao muttered as they reached the door.

     "Ishiki!"  The principal yelled from his desk.  "I may be 

old, but I'm not deaf.  Two more pages!"

     "Aww, man."  Satoru wanted for the life of him to laugh, but 

didn't dare until they were safely in the hall.  He looked to 

Kaori.  Her face looked serious, but her eyes revealed the laugh 

Satoru wanted so badly to hear.



January 31st, 1996.

     "Have you seen him?"

     "Who hasn't!"

     "Isn't he the cutest?"

     "If he talked to me now, I'd die."

     "But you'd die happy!"

     "Of course!"

     Satoru walked behind the strolling wall of freshman 

femininity, searching for a way to get by them without seeming 

like a complete jerk.  He shook his head at the conversation; he 

knew exactly who they were preparing to swoon over.  The new 

transfer student from Fujishima High School.  Jun What's-his-name.

     Jun had everything they wanted in a man; not that Satoru was 

jealous.  Oh no.  It wasn't like he had spent all of the evening 

before staring at the mirror wondering why he wasn't being fawned 

over by countless cute girls.  Nope.  Not a bit.

     Satoru frowned.

     It wasn't that he was ugly, or even really unattractive.  He 

was just average.  Satoru mulled over the term.  Just average.  A 

number of times, he had been mistaken, at a distance or from 

behind, for any number of people.  Average hair: not too long, not 

too short.  Average face: a little rounder than many, a little 

thinner than a few.  Average height; though he was growing; he had 

noticed yesterday that his shirt sleeves seemed a little short.  

He changed his assessment: above-average height.  But he knew his 

above-average weight made up for it.

     The boy sighed, just as he did after the previous evening's 

gaze into the mirror.  It was all so average.  "Why can't average 

be enough?"  The answer, as painful as he was, walked past Satoru, 

between the six swooning groupies, and confidently strode into his 

classroom.

     "This is ridiculous," Satoru grumbled.  He thought for a 

second about how much he really wanted one of the girls to hear 

him, even as they sighed and  giggled.  "I'm gonna be late to 

class, and then I have the 'privilege' of sitting next to the 

guy."

     Satoru received his wish.  "You sit next to him?"  One of the 

girls turned around, and walked backwards for a few steps.

     "Yeah," he answered ruefully.  The group halted, and 

immediately circled the boy.  Regret whapped Satoru on the back of 

the head, and muttered, 'dummy,' from inside his brain.

     "Could you give this to him for me?"

     "And this!"

     "Wait, I have my note in my book..."

     "Here's mine!"

     "Give him mine first!"

     "No, mine!"

     "Hold on a second," Satoru grumbled.  "I'm not giving 

anything to anybody."

     "Why not?!"  The girls whined in unison.

     "Okay, first off, did any of you sign your name on your 

note?"

     The girls paused, and shook their heads no.

     "And if he gets six letters with no names from me, what will 

he think, hmm?"

     "Well..."

     "I hadn't really..."

     "He wouldn't think of you..."

     "Though you do seem a little..."

     "Not that we're..."

     "It's just that..."

     "I'm sorry, girls.  Now, if you'll please step aside, I have 

to get to class."

     The girls sighed together and dispersed.

     The day was uneventful; since Kaori wasn't in his class this 

year, he couldn't see her except during lunch, but she was 

conspicuously absent at lunch today.  As the final bell rang, 

Satoru began to wonder if Kaori was okay.

     "Satoru!"  Kaori greeted him from the door of the classroom.

     "Look, Satoru, it's your girlfriend!" Masao Ishiki crowed 

from a corner of the emptying classroom.

     "She's not my girlfriend!"

     "I'm not his girlfriend!"  The pair yelled in simultaneous 

irritation.

     "Whatever," Masao scoffed.

     "I didn't see you at lunch."  Satoru tried not to sound too 

concerned.

     "I was busy," Kaori murmured.  She quickly scanned the room, 

then asked, "Is Jun here?"

     "He's gone already."

     "Good."

     "Why?"

     "Well," Kaori peeked around the room again.  "I wanted to put 

this in his desk."  She sheepishly held up a note.

     "Don't tell me..."

     "What?"

     "Is this why you weren't at lunch?"

     Kaori looked at the ground, but smiled in spite of herself.

     Satoru grinned mercilessly.  "Kaori's got a crush on Jun," he 

sang under his breath.  Kaori seethed as he repeated the tune.

     "Would you shut up?"  She stuffed the note in Jun's desk and 

stalked off.

     "What?"  Satoru was still grinning, but it was more at the 

strangeness of the situation than anything else.

       "Lovers' quarrel!"

     "Shut up, Masao!"  Satoru stormed from the room, his face 

burning.  He followed Kaori at a distance, which wasn't an easy 

task.  She was walking at a furious pace, and traffic was pretty 

heavy.  He lost sight of her at one point, and almost gave up, but 

he found her a block ahead, picking up her books.

     "Kaori!"  He finally called.  "Wait up!"  Kaori finished 

collecting the contents of her dropped book bag, and stood, 

waiting for Satoru to catch up.  Satoru could see that, though she 

was waiting, the girl was still furious.

     "Look, I'm sorry..."

     "You can be so..." the statement decayed into an exasperated 

growl.  "It wasn't mine."

     "Huh?"

     "Oh, why do I even bother?"  Kaori threw up her arms and 

turned to finish her march home.

     "What?  C'mon, Kaori."  Satoru jogged to catch up, and rested 

his hand on Kaori's shoulder.  "The note wasn't yours?"

     "Boy, you're quick today!"  Kaori pulled herself away from 

Satoru's reach.

     "Why are you acting like this?"  Satoru stepped back.

     "Because you're being an idiot!"  Satoru expected her to 

start walking again, but she just stood there, breathing deeply.  

Satoru took the opportunity to collect his thoughts and try to 

form an explanation for why this was happening.  And then it hit 

him.

     "Is it... umm..."  Satoru flushed with embarrassment.  He 

could barely believe he was saying it, but it was either that or 

nothing.  "You know.  That time?  Of the month?"

     Kaori's eyes widened.  For a time, neither person spoke.  

Satoru didn't dare breathe.  The second seemed to stretch into an 

hour.  He heard a bird chirp cheerily, and the wind whisper 

against the concrete wall next to sidewalk.  Kaori inhaled, and 

Satoru prepared for the worst.

     Kaori exhaled, and the moment continued.

     Finally, she spoke.

     "Yes.  As a matter of fact, it is."  Her voice wasn't soft, 

but the edge had faded, just a little.

     "Oh."  Satoru wished he had said something more meaningful.  

He tried again.  "I'm sorry."

     "Don't be."  Kaori waved her hand absently.

     "Oh."  Satoru winced.

     But Kaori smiled.  "Not too intellectual today, eh?"

     "It's one of those days."  Satoru tried a roguish grin.  

Kaori stifled a giggle.

     "All right, Robin Hood, let's get home."

     "Yes ma'am."

     "And Satoru..."

     "Yeah?"

     "The note wasn't mine."

     "You doth protest too much."

     "No way."

     "Sure you do."

     "I am not protesting too much!"

     "You are too."

     "Are not."

     "Are too."

     "Are not... Forget it."

     "What?"  Satoru shrugged, smiling in mock confusion.

     "We'd better get home before I beat you senseless..."

     "Yes ma'am."

     "That's better."



March 27th, 1997

     "C'mon, Satoru!  Hurry up!"  Kaori Akazawa grinned as she ran 

kitty-corner across the street, leaving Satoru Nobata behind to 

try and keep up.  Satoru knew it was impossible to catch her.  He 

also knew that, eventually, she'd let him.  It was nothing new; 

she'd slow to a jog, and he'd tag her on the shoulder.  Then he'd 

collapse in the street.

     After a chase down two blocks of city sidewalk, he did just 

that.  In that order.  Kaori smiled triumphantly as she caught her 

breath; Satoru was concentrating too hard on the burning in his 

lungs to smile.

     "So, where to now?"  Kaori stood over Satoru, who coughed 

from his sitting position.  She seemed as if she must be much 

taller than him, even though he knew she was a good six or seven 

centimeters shorter he was.

     Kaori sighed and sat next to him on the curb.  "You really 

shouldn't over-exert yourself like that."  She shook her finger 

and frowned pointedly at Satoru.

     Satoru shot her an incredulous look and coughed what he had 

intended to be a laugh.  "Next you'll be saying I brought this all 

on myself."

     "Well, you did."  Kaori's frown was breaking at the corners 

of her mouth.  "You shouldn't break a girl's heart like that."

     "All I did was correct your math, or whatever you call those 

weird random scribblings of yours.  And didn't my math give you a 

higher score anyway?"

     "That's not the point!"  Kaori furrowed her brow to keep from 

smiling.  "You left me with no choice in the matter."  She lifted 

her chin piously.  "Besides, your punishment was fair and 

inevitable."  The solemn expression faded away when Satoru 

chuckled.

     "Uh-huh.  And you didn't enjoy administering my punishment?"

     "Of course not!"  Her face tried to hide a smile, but failed 

after a short struggle.  "You dare accuse me of taking pleasure in 

your penance?"

     "Oh, *no*.  I'd *never* do that."  Satoru sighed as he rose 

to his feet.  "And this is the *last* time I go running after 

you."  He offered Kaori a hand and tried to look serious.

     Kaori grinned lopsidedly.  "How many times have I heard 

*that* before?"  A lock of red hair fell as she took his hand.  

Once on her feet, she smoothed it back behind her ears with 

slender fingers.

     "So," Satoru returned Kaori's grin.  "Where are we off to, 

anyway?"

      Kaori threw back her head and looked at the top of the 

horizon of buildings ahead of her. After a long moment, she 

inhaled deeply, and exhaled a long, soft sighed. Turning to 

Satoru, she nodded once, announcing her oracular decision.

     "You're going to get me a drink at the Cafe Pierrot!"

     Satoru frowned.  "Why am I not surprised?"

     "Please?  Take me there, please?"  Kaori pouted.

     "Well..."  Satoru hesitated.  He was in trouble; she was 

breaking out the heavy artillery.  He looked down the street, 

trying to avoid her watery gaze.  "But..."  His willpower was 

fading.  He glanced at her against his better judgment.  She 

tilted her head coyly.

     Satoru hung his head and sighed at his defeat.

     "Thank you!"  Kaori twirled around her friend, poked him on 

the nose and skipped ahead three steps before Satoru could argue 

the decision.  He jogged to catch up, feeling relieved that she 

had decided not to run in response.  Apparently, he had paid 

enough penance for his mathematical arrogance.



The Cafe Pierrot wasn't a very popular spot for high school kids; 

it was mostly a haunt for well-to-do college students and 

successful graduates.  Satoru felt a little strange entering the 

place, but he rationalized that since he was going to be a college 

student in a few weeks, he'd be okay.

     The Cafe served all manner of cuisine and drinks, from any 

country one readily knew about.  The atmosphere was decidedly 

French, with a few tables just outside the building's front 

window, and lightweight furniture inside.

     It was in the late afternoon; the window let in the late rays 

of the day, filtered only by the painted logo.  Satoru and Kaori 

entered, and were seated at the last available table, in a rather 

subdued corner of the cafe.

     "Can I get you anything to drink?"  The waitress clicked her 

pen and flipped to a fresh page on her pad.

     "Two lemonades, please."  Kaori announced.  Satoru wished 

that just once he could order for them.

     "I'll return with them in just a moment!"  The waitress left 

them to a conversation Satoru had waited a long while to start.

     "Did you get the scholarship?"  He looked towards the 

kitchen, trying to seem nonchalant.

     "I sure did!  I got the confirmation letter yesterday 

afternoon.  College is as good as paid for!"  Kaori sounded like 

she was still looking straight at Satoru, but he didn't dare look 

her in the eye.  This wasn't something he enjoyed bringing up.

     "So you're definitely going to college in America?"

     "Well, yeah.  The University of Oregon has better modern 

music and jazz programs than anything around here.  At least, 

anything I could afford."  Kaori's tone seemed to grow a little 

more concerned.  Satoru imagined that she was still smiling, but 

that the smile was probably fading quickly.

     "And you'll be gone all four years?"

     "Satoru, what are you getting at?"

     Satoru felt himself crossing the line between pleasant 

conversation and serious discussion.  He forced himself to look at 

Kaori.  Her smile had weakened somewhat; it seemed to be trying to 

convince itself that it was okay to exist.

     Satoru heard the beginnings of a chuckle, but it stopped 

short.

     "I... I'm..."  He paused, again unsure of how he should 

phrase it.  He closed his eyes, and recited his statement.  "I'm 

going to miss you."  Finally, he added, "A lot."

     "And I'm going to miss you, too.  You're my best friend.  But 

I'll be back.  I promise."

     "You promise?"  The question sounded so pathetic to Satoru as 

it came out that he couldn't believe he had even *considered* 

saying it.  He inhaled sharply and hoped she hadn't heard.

     Kaori smiled motheringly.  "Of course I promise.  Here."  She 

set her arm on the table like she was about to arm-wrestle.  Her 

pinkie pointed out at the end of her fist.

     "A pinkie swear?"  Satoru chuckled in disbelief.

     "I wouldn't joke if I were you.  Now, get it up here!"

     Satoru had to smile at the melodrama of it all.  "Okay, okay!  

I believe you!"  He reluctantly linked his pinkie with hers.  

"You'll write me letters, right?"

     "I will write you letters..." she closed her eyes and 

repeated his words solemnly.

     "And you'll call me?"

     "I will call you..." she smiled, her eyes still closed.  "But 

I'll call collect."

     Satoru gaped.  "Not from America you won't!"  The pair began 

to snicker, and that mutual giggle turned into a full-blown laugh 

by the time the waitress arrived with their lemonades.  When 

Satoru realized the waitress was setting down their lemonades, he 

yanked back his pinkie and stared intensely at the icy drinks.

     "Don't tell me you're trying to impress the waitress," Kaori 

chided when they were once again alone.  Satoru looked up 

shamefully; Kaori's gray eyes beamed.

     "Don't you *ever* get depressed?"  Satoru took a sip of his 

lemonade.

     "Nope."

     "How do you do it?"

     "That's a secret."  Kaori turned her attention to her drink.

     "Aww, c'mon.  You can tell me."  Satoru grinned.

     "This is really good lemonade.  I think I'll order another."

     "If you do, you're paying for it," Satoru huffed.  "And don't 

try to change the subject."

     "Forget it, Nobata," Kaori drained the glass.  "I'll never 

tell.  You can torture me, kill me, but I'll never tell.  Never!"  

Kaori's smirk challenged Satoru's pride.

     "You're beyond insane, you realize."

     "But of course."  Kaori made eye contact with the waitress 

and shook her glass.  The waitress nodded and headed to the 

kitchen.

After they finished, Satoru paid, and they returned home.  Their 

homes stood across the street from each other in a quiet 

residential area.  This was not by accident; their families had 

been friends since before either of them had been born.

     "See ya."  They parted ways near Kaori's door.  Satoru 

wondered how much college would change him, or if college in 

America would change Kaori at all.

     "Nothing can change that girl," he finally decided.  When he 

entered his house, he saw two large stacks of empty boxes, 

flattened and leaning against the wall.  At first, he just looked 

at the boxes, confused as to their purpose in the house.

     By the time his slippers were on, he was thoroughly 

perplexed.  He strolled into the living room, where his parents 

sat, enjoying a drink and a light comedy.

     "I'm home," he murmured at the pair, who turned, smiling to 

their boy.  "What are the boxes for?"

     Mr. Nobata nodded.  "We figured it would be easier for you to 

pack if you had brand new boxes for everything, rather than try to 

find all the boxes we have stuffed in the attic.  That'd take a 

week by itself."

     "Pack?"  The word sounded foreign.  "A week?"  And then it 

hit him.

     "You move into your dorm in a week, son."



                         *    *    *    *



April 30, 1997.

     "Now, you're sure you have everything packed?"  Mrs. Nobata 

looked about her son's empty room from the hallway.  Satoru could 

hear the third wave of unabated sobbing about to begin, and 

decided to strike first.

     "Mom, it's okay," he smiled as he filled his last cardboard 

box with a few stray books and wires.  "I'm just moving across 

town.  It's not like I'm..."  He held his tongue.

     "...Leaving the country?" Mrs. Nobata finished with a 

sniffle.  "I know.  But you're growing up..."

     "I'm a human.  I tend to do that with time."  Satoru tried to 

grin affectionately.  His mother laughed, but her quivering lip 

betrayed her.

     "I'll tell your father you're ready to go."  She turned, 

handkerchief in hand, and disappeared from view.  Satoru could 

hear a couple of distant sniffs and whimpers.  He felt sorry for 

his mom; She wasn't usually very emotional.  But, she was as close 

to Kaori as she was to him, and losing both of them to college 

seemed to be more than she could take.  Truth be told, he was 

having a little trouble with the idea himself.  His move across 

town to Toyama University seemed more like a practice for Kaori's 

departure than anything else.  The whole procedure reminded him 

that his time with Kaori was coming to an end for a rather long 

time.

     "Hey, slowpoke.  You done with that box, or are you going to 

write a eulogy for it first?"  Satoru immediately wiped the 

welling in his left eye and looked up.  Kaori smiled at him from 

the door frame.  She leaned against it like a boy; she always had.  

Satoru returned her smile and shook his head.

     "Nope.  This one's getting buried at sea.  Nothing much to 

say about it."  Kaori stepped to the box and peered at the 

contents.  It wasn't so much filled as infested with the dregs 

from the corners of Satoru's closets -- some spare change in a 

plastic bag, telephone wire, batteries, two copies of 'A Brief 

History of Time' ("Why two copies?"  "I lost the first one in my 

desk..."), more wire -- probably speaker wire, a few randomly 

colored and labeled floppy disks, and last, but not least, the 

blue mug he had made in third grade for his mother, that had found 

itself in Satoru's room, and had remained there through middle and 

high school, holding pens and pencils and paper clips.

     "Man, you weren't kidding, were you?  Why don't we just drag 

it out to the back and shoot it discreetly?" Kaori smirked.

     "Well, I'll probably need most of this stuff eventually.  You 

know the second I throw anything away, I'll need it somehow."  

Satoru shook his head and taped the box closed.  "But, this is the 

last of it."

     "It looks so weird," Kaori commented, gazing at the vacant 

room.  "I've never seen it empty before."

     Satoru chuckled.  "It's the cleanest it's been in years."

     "How true you speak."  Satoru made a point of looking the 

other way as she bent over to pick the box up.  Kaori hefted the 

box easily, her arms flexing underneath an overly loose pink tee 

shirt.  Her denim shorts didn't help his cause any, either.  He 

shook his head and followed the girl down the hall, past his 

smiling and weeping mother, towards the azure hatchback sedan.

     "Is that the last one?"  His father spoke for the first time 

since breakfast, when he said, "I'll get the car ready."  It was a 

little unusual; his father wasn't overly talkative, but he wasn't 

usually this taciturn.

     Kaori beamed.  "Yessir!"

     Satoru nodded and headed for the passenger-side door.  Mrs. 

Akazawa rushed him from the side and nearly crushed him with a 

hug.

     "Oohhhh, you've grown so much!  I'll miss you!"  She smiled 

and wiped a tear.  "You make sure to call us too, okay?"  Satoru 

nodded vigorously, but couldn't gather the air in his lungs to 

speak.

     Mr. Akazawa stepped up from behind his wife and patted her on 

the shoulder.  "Let the boy go, dear."  She winked at Satoru, who 

breathed with relief as Mrs. Akazawa released him.  "We'll follow 

you to the campus and help you unpack, okay?"

     Satoru opened his mouth to protest, but Mr. Akazawa cut him 

short.  "Don't try to talk you way out of it, Satoru.  We're going 

to help you, whether you like it or not."  He smiled and called 

his daughter to their car.

     "Now, let's get this caravan on the road."



Toyama University laid comfortably distant from Toyama High 

School, though some 15 blocks from Satoru's house, just on the 

other side of the downtown area.  A recently planted grove of 

alders shaded much of the campus, which seemed at first glance 

very cosmopolitan.  Satoru noted as they approached the gated 

entrance of the campus that it looked a little too much like the 

brochures to be real.

     The more he thought, the less any of it seemed real.  

College, dorms, graduation, none of it seemed tangible anymore.  A 

pleasantly manic blur that just didn't happen.  Suddenly he wised 

that none of it had happened.

     "I'm dreaming," he rationalized.  "This can't be happening."

     "Pre-college jitters?"  Mr. Nobata grinned.  "Don't worry.  

When I first moved into the dorms here, I was a complete mess.  

But you have it easier than I did.  You're just a few blocks away.  

Back when I was in college, my parents still lived in Kobe."

     "But..."  Satoru couldn't finish the sentence.

     "Yeah,"  Mr. Nobata looked at his son, his expression 

sympathetic, but also sad itself.  He nodded quickly and added, "I 

know."  A few moments of silence, then the crank of the hand 

brake.  "We're here.  Better lose the melancholy for now.  You 

don't want your mother crying all over your stuff, do you?"  Mr. 

Nobata grinned and scruffed his son's hair.  "Now, which floor did 

you say you were on?"

     Satoru smirked maliciously.  "Fourth."

     Mr. Nobata blinked.  "Is there an elevator?"

     Satoru's smirk curled into a full-fledged grin.  "Nope."

     "Did you have to be a Math major?"

     "No.  I could have been an engineering major.  Their dorm has 

eight floors."

     Mr. Nobata nodded approvingly.  "Math is good."

     A knock at Satoru's window startled both men in the car.

     "Are you gonna get out here and unpack, or is the view just 

too startling?"  For the briefest of moments, the pink tee 

dangled, it's loose neck giving Satoru a very clear view of...

     He looked at his father, his face nearly glowing red.  "Yes!  

That is a good idea!  I think we shall!  Father, let us unpack!"

     Mr. Nobata stifled a laugh and opened his door.  "Let's."

     Satoru's room had a wonderful view of the campus, 

encompassing the entire grove, and beyond, the classrooms.  At 

night, Satoru imagined, he'd probably be able to see much of Tokyo 

from his vantage point.

     "Satoru!  Box!"  Kaori half-passed, half-tossed the box to 

the boy, who managed to half-receive, half-catch it without much 

incident.

     "Erk... Thanks," he muttered.  The box was a lot heavier than 

he had figured it to be.  He hadn't labeled it, so he ripped off 

the tape and began opening it.

     "Don't open that!"  Kaori nearly screamed in terror.

     "What?!"  Satoru jumped back from the box, ready to see a boa 

constrictor or something slink out from between the flaps.

     "You don't have time to open boxes!"  She shoved a newly 

delivered box into his arms and smiled.  "Here.  Find a place for 

this, 'kay?"

     "And thus the grand and picturesque Toyama University claims 

another mathematical victim." The voice from the hall sounded 

familiar, but Satoru couldn't place the voice until he saw the 

face.

     "Masao."  Kaori turned her nose up at the boy when she 

noticed him.  "Were you in the neighborhood, or did you go out of 

your way to ruin our day?"

     "A suitably masculine response, though I suppose it is your 

only available recourse.  Say, are you two moving in together?  I 

suppose that's possible.  Though this lovely abode is an all-male 

dorm, there shouldn't be any difficulties proving your manhood, eh 

Kaori?"

     "My, my, my, what big words," Satoru growled, fists clenched.  

"Writing all those essays after school must have really paid off."  

He wished he could have come up with a better retort, but he was 

too busy trying to stay civil.

     "You started that fight."  Masao gritted his teeth for a 

second.  Satoru almost laughed -- he didn't expect any response 

from Masao, let alone one so intense.  After a brief moment of 

seething, Masao changed.  Maybe it was just to keep Satoru 

baffled, but Masao actually let his features soften.

     He was smiling.

     Satoru could hardly believe it.  He had never seen Masao 

smile his way, except to begin a fresh session of mocking.  When 

Satoru looked to Kaori for a reaction, he found her in a similar 

state of shock.

     Still smiling, Masao chuckled.  "That was quite a while ago, 

Nobata.  I didn't think you'd remember."

     Satoru tried a grin.  It felt strange, but not totally alien.  

"Well, trying to write five pages on why I was wrong was pretty 

tough.  I had to do a lot of lying.  Say, how long did that paper 

take you, anyway?"

     "I finished it a few weeks ago."

     Satoru and Kaori gaped.  "A few days ago?"

     "Yep.  I didn't do it originally.  When the principal didn't 

say anything, I figured I was off the hook.  But about two months 

ago, I got a letter from the old goat saying that if I didn't 

write that 15-page paper, he'd make sure no college in Japan would 

accept me."

     Satoru laughed.  "And he'd do it, too."

     "Fifteen pages?  I thought it was only nine."  Kaori grinned 

even as she asked.

     "You really want to hear the answer to this one, don't you, 

man-thing?"  Satoru bristled, and took a step forward.  Kaori shot 

him a warning look, and he stopped.

     "I won't give you the pleasure," Masao sneered.  He 

sauntered back down the hall, slamming his door indignantly.

     "What a sleaze!"  Kaori shook dramatically.  "I think I need 

a shower after that."  Satoru nodded in agreement.  When he 

noticed his fists still clenched, he exhaled dejectedly.

     "At least you get to leave the country," he murmured.  "I get 

a whole year of that joker, probably more."  Kaori looked at him 

sympathetically.  "I can't believe I was actually warming to 

that... that..."

     "...Spineless tree-sucking pseudo-intellectual loud-mouthed 

animal?" Kaori offered in mock-innocence.

     "That works."  Satoru looked at the girl, and smiled.  

"You're so good at that."

     "At what?" Kaori returned his smile, her eyes glittering with 

impish curiosity.

     "At making everything so--"

     A hefty sigh cut Satoru short.  Satoru's mother entered, her 

eyes shut tight.  "What a strange boy he is!" she noted sweetly.  

"There's all sorts of loud music coming from the room next door.  

Listen.  You can hear it even from here."

     As he listened, Satoru realized he had been hearing little 

above his own breathing since he had looked at Kaori a moment ago.  

He shook he head, trying to clear his brain, and listened closely.  

As he did, he saw Kaori carefully place her ear against the wall.  

She nodded solemnly.  Satoru couldn't hear much of anything still, 

but he also nodded.

     "What mother could possibly raise such a boy?" Satoru's 

mother asked rhetorically.

     Satoru grinned at the opportunity.  "Not you, mom."

     Kaori chimed in.  "Your son's never been rude like that!"

     Mrs. Nobata smirked and set the box down.  Satoru shrieked 

inwardly as he noticed where she had put the box.

     "Mo-om!  My poster!"

     "Oops!  I'm sorry, I'll get you another."

     "You can't -- they're out of print," Satoru sighed as he 

tried to lessen the crease marks on the parchment paper.  It 

wasn't working.  "Oh well, it was time for a change anyway."

     "Change is good," Kaori nodded.  "Any more boxes, Mrs. 

Nobata?"

     "This was the last one."  Mrs. Nobata turned to her son.  

"Your father will be up in a second.  He wants to get a good look 

at the room before we go."

     "You're going already?"  Satoru tried not to sound profoundly 

disappointed.

     Kaori patted Satoru on the back.  "You gotta unpack, and we'd 

just be in the way."

     "And you should take time to meet all the people in your 

hall," Satoru's mother beamed.  "They all seem so..." she looked 

behind her quickly.  "...so interesting."



June 18, 1997.

     When it came time for Kaori to board her flight to Oregon, 

Satoru had firmly entrenched himself in denial.  His line of 

thinking went like so: he wasn't even fully unpacked in his dorm, 

so Kaori couldn't possibly be going yet.  Keeping one or two boxes 

packed in the corner of the room helped, even though he was sure 

his stapler was in that bottom one.  It worked very well for the 

first four weeks, but his professors started frowning on his use of 

paper clips.  Even after rummaging through the bottom box for his 

stapler, he carefully re-packed the box and set it back in its 

corner to reinforce his mock-reality for another two weeks.

     When his parents called, asking if he was ready to be picked 

up, he had convinced himself so thoroughly that Kaori was simply 

not leaving that he had to ask them what he was getting ready for.  

After they told him, he looked desperately at the boxes in the 

corner, but they offered little reassurance.

     Once he was actually at the airport, things seemed no less 

surreal.  Satoru spent much of the waiting period wandering with 

Kaori waiting to wake up.  But his reality was slowly crumbling.  

When she showed him the ticket, something snapped.  He had to come 

up with seven separate excuses as to why his eyes were 

"mysteriously watering."  Kaori smiled and patiently accepted each 

excuse as it came, and let a few minutes pass before some other 

facet of his denial fell and she could ask her question again.

     "What's wrong, Satoru?" she asked sweetly.  She knew full 

well what was wrong, but she asked anyway.  Satoru wondered if she 

enjoyed tearing down his world.

     "There's just a little dust in my eyes," was the best he 

could come up with at the time.  Then he saw the luggage.  Two 

suitcases, both purple, both tagged, both heavy.  And both on the 

baggage cart.  He felt the tear hit his cheek before he knew it 

had fallen.

     "What's wrong, Satoru?"  The question could never bother 

Satoru -- the tone was too soft, too honestly concerned.  Satoru 

wiped his eyes and tried to find a more creative response.  But 

all he could drag from his brain was, "There's something in my eye 

again."

     That was when Kaori smiled and stepped close.  "Thank you, 

Satoru."  Her whisper barely made it to Satoru's ears.

     She kissed him on the cheek.  Satoru thought he heard people 

watching, or felt them gasping.  Everything was wrong.  No, not 

wrong.  Everything was right.  But it was all spinning.  Nothing 

was where it should be.  He was sure his parents were either going 

crazy with shock and disappointment, or smiling like a bunch of 

old wrinkled matchmakers.  He didn't really care which.  Her lips 

lingered, even as she started to pull away.

     Satoru touched his cheek as she stepped back.  "Thank you for 

everything," she smiled.  The spinning slowed gradually, until 

reality matched Kaori again.  But something had changed.

     She seemed to turn in slow-motion.  Satoru thought he saw a 

tear float to her cheek.  As he focused on it, he realized the 

airport was fading from view.

     Kaori was all he saw, all he wanted to see.  Seventeen years 

of shared experience flashed in front of him as she turned to pick 

up her bag.  In that single action, Kaori evolved, smoothly 

encompassing all their years.

     She considered the backpack for a moment as the curious red-

haired pre-schooler with a chubby face and dimples.  She reached 

for it as the lanky tomboy with too-long legs and too-short hair.  

As she hefted the bag, she became the girl who could run faster 

than all the boys.  And always she had that smile; that smile 

could melt stone.

     And as she walked to the gate, she was everything she had 

been before that moment, and somehow just a little more.  With her 

chin up, shoulders back, walking steps measured and prepared, she 

boarded the plane.



Kaori called collect when she landed at Portland Airport, and 

again when she landed at the Eugene Airport, a hundred miles south 

of Portland.  Once at the university, she wrote him five letters, 

and he responded five times.  The letters were comfortably long, 

and spoke highly of the campus, and of her classes.  Satoru talked 

a little about Nekomi Tech, and about his work as a chemistry 

major.

     She mentioned Ryan and Ami, her "new friends," a few times.  

She even sent a couple of pictures with her third letter, but for 

the most part, the letters remained a jealously private matter 

between her and Satoru.  They talked about themselves, and asked 

concerned but lightweight questions about the other.  Every 

question was answered, even though the answers were often short, 

joking statements.  Satoru looked forward to the day when the 

letter from Kaori came in the mail; when she stopped sending them, 

he went into a funk that lasted for two weeks.  That was when he 

ran into Yumiko and Ichiro.  Literally.



"Sorry, I wasn't looking," Satoru mumbled the apology.  He had 

been looking down, lost in thought, when he nearly ran over a very 

tall, and equally slight, blond man.  The shorter girl beside him 

chuckled quietly as her companion picked himself up.

     "Not a problem.  Say, maybe you can settle something for us."  

The man stood and brushed off his pant legs.  "What's the best 

place for dinner around here?  We've been trying to find one good 

place around here all term, but we just can't..."

     "...Cafe Pierrot."  The name pushed itself from Satoru's 

lips.  It had been on his mind just before.  He stared at a leaf 

on the sidewalk as the thoughts picked up again.

     "Cafe Pierrot.  Can't say I've heard of it.  But, we're not 

from around here, so..."

     Satoru blinked himself back into reality.  "It's not too far 

from here, but not really close either.  What kind of food do you 

like?"

     "Italian."  Both answered simultaneously.

     "Me too.  The Cafe Pierrot has a decent international menu. 

It may have changed since the last time I was there, but it used 

to have a really good lasagna."  Satoru smiled.  "I'm sorry.  My 

name's Satoru.  Satoru Nobata."  He bowed quickly.

     "Pleased to meet you."  The man bowed deeply.  "I'm Ichiro 

Sugimoto, and this is Yumiko Kitamura."  He motioned to the girl 

next to him, who nodded demurely.  "We're living in the dorms near 

the Engineering building."

     "Pleased to meet you.  I live a few buildings down, across 

from the Chemistry building."

     "Very cool.  Say, Yumiko and I were just about to order some 

take-out.  Would you like to join us?"

     Satoru brightened immediately.  "I'd love to."

     Ichiro chuckled nervously and motioned Satoru to a private 

conference a few steps away from Yumiko.  "I hate to ask you so 

early in our friendship, but I'm a little strapped for cash at the 

moment.  Can you pay for yourself?"  He laughed nervously.

     Satoru grinned.  "Not a problem.  Why don't I pay for the 

whole thing?  I bumped into you in the first place; and I should 

apologize somehow."

     "Oh, I couldn't..."  Ichiro seemed less than enthusiastic in 

his refusal.  Satoru's grin widened.

     "Oh, but I insist."

     "Thank you!  Your hospitality becomes you.  Now, lead on, 

Satoru Nobata."

     "Where?"

     "To your dorm room, of course!"  Ichiro stepped back beside 

Yumiko and smiled.  "My room's a mess, and nobody's ever seen 

Yumiko's room..."  Yumiko giggled and looked away.  "That leaves 

your room.  So lead on!"



After consideration, Satoru decided Yumiko and Ichiro reminded him 

a little of Kaori and himself when they were in junior high.  

Though, he never saw too much of himself directly in Ichiro.  The 

pair was fun-loving, perhaps a bit too much, and made a point of 

not liking each other too much.  Yumiko was straight-forward, like 

Kaori, but not so effervescent.  She shied away from outdoor 

sports, but watched them if Ichiro played.

     Ichiro's lean musculature implied an athletic slant, and he 

was indeed good at sports in general, but seemed to take little 

interest in them.  Satoru figured this was because of Yumiko, but 

he never pressed the point to Ichiro.  On the whole, he seemed a 

good complement to Yumiko; when they were seen, they were 

together, always smiling or just about to.

     Satoru's dorm room soon became the nexus for the activities 

of the group.  He had the television and the stereo, and seemed to 

be the only one of the three with any money whatsoever.  It was a 

Tuesday night in early November when Satoru decided they would 

meet at Ichiro's room for a change.



November 4th, 1997

     "Aww, man!  Why my room?"  Ichiro complained over the phone.  

"You've got all the goodies in your room."  Satoru audibly 

frowned.

     "Look, I don't want to meet at my place.  We're just going 

out to pizza anyway.  We'll be at your place for a minute, two 

tops.  Yumiko knows where it is, right?"  Satoru grinned.

     "Very funny, Nobata.  Fine, we'll meet at my place, but 

you're not coming into my room."

     "Why?  Afraid I'll see all the nasty posters you have on your 

ceiling?"  Satoru could hear Ichiro growl on the other end, and 

chuckled nervously.  "I'm joking!  Just a joke!  Okay, we'll wait 

outside the building for you."

     "This is your treat, right?"

     "You two can owe me.  I'll be over in a sec, 'kay?"

     "You know I won't pay you back."  Ichiro was smiling.

     "I'm keeping track of your tab."

     "What's it at?"

     "You don't wanna know.  I'll see you in a minute.  Bye!"

     "See ya."

     Satoru hung up the phone and put on his shoes.  He was at the 

door when the phone rang.  He wondered what Ichiro could want now.

     "Now what?"  He answered the phone on the third ring.

     "...He.. Hello?"  The voice at the other end was a girl's.  

Very soft, almost inaudible over the background noise.

     "Hello?  Who is this?"

     "...I'm sorry... I must have the wrong number."  The line 

died after those words.  Then his mind caught up with his ears.

     "Kaori!"  But it was way too late.

     Satoru dialed Ichiro.  "Ichiro?  Look, why don't you guys 

meet me here, 'kay?  Bye."  He hung up as quickly as possible.

      "What if she calls back and I miss it?  She sounded 

terrible.  What's going on?  Where is she?"  The thoughts at the 

front of his brain refused to remain silent.  Possibilities 

flashed through Satoru's mind faster and more vividly than he 

cared to consider.

     "Please call me back,"  Satoru pleaded with the phone.  

"Please?"

     Ichiro knocked on Satoru's door.  Yumiko was only two steps 

behind.

     "Why the sudden change of plans?"  Ichiro was smiling but 

nervously so.  "You sounded like you'd just seen a ghost."

     "I might have."  The response didn't sit well with either of 

the guests; they sat on the floor and watched Satoru stare at the 

phone.

     "Is the phone trying to attack you?"  Yumiko smiled as she 

said it.  Satoru didn't respond except with a 'shhh'.  The silence 

seeped into the room between the voices from outside.  It was 

almost too thick for Yumiko to bear, and she shifted loudly on the 

floor.

     When the phone rang, it shocked all three of them.  Satoru 

answered before the ring ended.

     "Kaori?"

     "Sa... Satoru?"

     "It's me.  What's wrong?"

     "Can you...?"

     "Yes?"

     "Can you pick me up at the airport?"

     "Which one?"

     "Haneda.  Please hurry."

     "Which gate?"

     "I... I don't know..."

     "Okay.  I'll meet you in the main lobby.  Does that sound 

okay to you?"

     "...Yes."  A pause.  "Thank you, Satoru."

     "You're welcome, and you hang on, okay?  I'll be there in 

just a second."

     "Thank you, Satoru."  Kaori sounded calmer, but still so 

strange.  Satoru tried to chalk it up to not hearing her voice in 

such a long while, but it didn't seem to fit into that rationale.

     "Ichiro, I need you to drive me to Haneda Airport.  Now."  

Satoru was already at the door, in his coat and shoes, waiting 

impatiently.

     "Sure, but why?"

     "My best friend Kaori needs a ride home, and she doesn't 

sound well."  Satoru's voice caught both Yumiko and Ichiro by 

surprise.  Even at his most serious, he never sounded this 

intense.  Yumiko stood and got her coat.

     "We'd be glad to help you out.  Any friend of yours..."

     "Thanks, Yumiko, but we gotta hurry.  So, shall we?"

     The ride to the airport was interminably long.  Ichiro was 

flooring it, but the tiny Civic wasn't making much headway past 

120 kph.  They lucked out, and didn't get caught by the police, 

even though Satoru promised to pay any tickets.  When they arrived 

at the airport, Satoru ran inside while Ichiro and Yumiko looked 

for a parking spot.  He sprinted into the main waiting area, 

scanning the weary faces.  None were hers.

     "Kaori!"  Satoru shouted with all the power his lungs could 

muster.  "Kaori Akazawa!"  He only hoped she could hear him.

     "Satoru," Kaori seemed to exhale her thankfulness.  Satoru 

whipped his body around to see her standing beside him, with one 

suitcase and an exhausted smile on her face.

     "Are you okay?  You sounded like you were in trouble."

     "I'm sorry, Satoru.  I didn't mean... to upset you."  Kaori 

looked at the floor as Satoru picked up her suitcase.

     "Is this all you brought?"

     Kaori nodded slowly.

     "My car's outside.  Actually, I got a ride from a friend, so 

it might be a little cramped."  Kaori followed Satoru outside, 

where Yumiko was waiting.

     "Ichiro's double-parked, so we'd better hurry."  Yumiko saw 

Kaori and smiled.  "Hello, you must be Kaori.  My name's Yumiko."

     "Pleased to meet you."  Kaori avoided Yumiko's concerned gaze 

and followed the pair to Ichiro's car.  Ichiro was leaning against 

the driver's side door, none too happy about the parking ticket he 

had received while waiting.

     "You're covering this, right?"  Ichiro waved the ticket in 

his hand.

     "Yeah yeah sure.  Just open the trunk, okay?"  Ichiro 

grudgingly complied.

     Once they were all in the car, Ichiro finally smiled.  "So, 

where are we off to?"  He turned to look back at Satoru and Kaori.  

Kaori looked up from Satoru's shoulder with a gray, watery gaze, 

but kept her arms firmly wrapped around his arm.  Ichiro stifled a 

chuckle; she looked a bit like a frightened koala.

     "Your parents are probably worried," Yumiko offered.

     "Yeah, maybe we should head to your house."  Satoru scanned 

Kaori's face for a reaction, but it remained still for a few 

moments before she shook her head.

     "Let's just go to your place," she half-whispered.

     "But don't you think...?"  Yumiko began to say something, but 

when she turned to make eye-contact with Kaori, the expression she 

caught made her bite her tongue.

     Ichiro was the first to speak again.  "We still need to order 

that pizza."

     "Actually, I think it might be best if... you know."  Satoru 

felt Kaori's head rest once again on his shoulder.  "I don't want 

to sound rude, but this *is* a little unexpected, and I think that 

maybe Kaori and I would do best if..."

     "Say no more!" Ichiro announced.  "We can survive without 

you.  If you could lend us 2000, I think we'll be fine."  Satoru 

saw Ichiro smiling in the rear-view mirror.  He sighed and reached 

for the wallet.

     "I don't need it *now*.  You have other problems."

     Satoru exhaled with relief.

     "You can give it to me at your place."

     Satoru felt Kaori smile as he fumed.  She pressed herself 

closer, and exhaled in what sounded like comfortable satisfaction.  

Satoru felt her breathing even out a little, and figured she was 

already asleep.  He smiled and looked out the tiny window.  Lights 

passed by, screaming white then red.  Satoru wondered if the 

drivers were chasing after somebody.  He felt Kaori squeeze a 

little closer, and wanted to return the closeness, but something 

stopped him.  Drops hit the windows softly; it had finally started 

raining.



                         *    *    *    *



November 5th, 1997

9:47 AM.

     "Can I come in yet?"

     "Just a second," Kaori called from inside Satoru's room.  

Satoru stood in the hall, hoping nobody would notice that he was 

in his pajamas.  He knocked on the door again.

     "C'mon, Kaori.  I'm freezing out here."  It wasn't entirely a 

lie.  He looked down the hall again, and cringed.  The one person 

he didn't want to see turned around and smiled.

     "Hey, Nobata!"

     Satoru nodded half-heartedly and tried desperately to act 

cool.  "Hi, Ishiki."

     "Going to class in your underwear, eh?  I respect a man who 

can live out his dreams, you know?"  Masao Ishiki's smile widened.  

Satoru felt his ears heat up.  "Well, don't forget to take notes."

      Satoru hung his head.  "Why me?"

     He felt his world fall out from behind him.  When he hit the 

ground, he saw Kaori, dressed in trousers and a tee-shirt, looking 

down on him.

     "Leaning against the door?  You pervert."

     Satoru instinctively covered his eyes.  "Nonono!  I 

wasn't..."  He took a peek from between tense fingers.  "Oh.  

You're dressed."  Pulling himself up to his knees, he frowned.  "I 

wasn't leaning.  I was stepping backwards.  Now, wait outside.  

*I* need to get dressed."

     Kaori nodded, grinning maliciously.  "Yes, sir.  You can 

count on me, sir.  I won't let you down, sir."  She turned to him 

just outside the doorway.  "Don't open the door too quickly 

though.  You might catch me peeking."  She stuck out her tongue 

and shut the door behind her.

     Satoru could feel the heat in his ears flow fiercely across 

the rest of his face.  He could just see Kaori deriving as much 

enjoyment from seeing him blush as Masao had.  He tossed off his 

pajamas and dressed hurriedly.  As he yanked the door open, he 

half-hoped he could actually catch her unaware.  But Kaori didn't 

fall in on him.

     In fact, he didn't see Kaori at all.

     "Kaori?"  Satoru mumbled to the air.  He poked his head out 

the doorway.  No Kaori to the left.  "Kaori," he repeated.  No 

Kaori to the right, either.  "Kaooooori!  Where are you?"  He 

didn't say it too loud as he stepped out of his room into the 

hallway.

     Satoru locked the door to his room and stepped cautiously 

towards the front door of the dorm.  He didn't dare let his guard 

down.  He knew she was planning something.  "But, if she's outside 

already," he mused.  "I'd look pretty stupid creeping out like..."

     "Gotcha!"

     "Aaaaarrgh!"  Satoru felt hands grabbing him by the 

shoulders.  He whipped around.  "Why you little..."  He growled 

and looked down at Kaori.  She was smiling.

     Honestly smiling.

     "You fall for that *every* time!  You really need to work on 

your peripheral vision."  She giggled and trotted past him to the 

front door.  "Well, are you coming or not?"

     Satoru hadn't seen Kaori smile since she left for college.  

Not since she had...

     "Satoru!"  When Satoru shook his head back into the real 

world, he saw Kaori.  She wasn't smiling anymore.  "Let's go!  You 

said the cafeteria closes at ten."

     "Right!  Sorry!"  He jogged up to her.  "I was just 

thinking..."

     "This isn't a time to think," Kaori stated as she opened the 

front door.  "This is a time to eat."  She motioned to the bright, 

crisp outside.  "Shall we?"



"Breakfast at one college cafeteria is the same as breakfast at 

any other college cafeteria, if you think about it."

     This was the lesson Kaori set out to teach Satoru.  She 

expounded upon the starchy, flour-covered similarities that lay 

hidden in even the most indigenous meals.  For as much as each 

society claimed to be unique in their culinary presentations, all 

the ingredients were essentially the same, coming from the same 

warehouse somewhere in the Pacific.

     "At least," she finished while chewing, "that's what I heard 

on the radio."  She reached for a glass of juice, but her hand 

wasn't open wide enough, and she knocked it over instead.

     "Ack!"  Kaori gasped as the contents flowed from the glass to 

the table.  "I'll be right back!"  And she ran off to find as many 

napkins as possible.

     Satoru could think of no other words.  "Weird," he murmured.  

"Simply weird."  To say that he had heard the majority of what she 

had just said, let alone understood that much would have been an 

exaggeration.  At the moment, however, Satoru's mind was wandering 

beyond the spilt juice and conspiracy theories.

     He remembered fifth grade well.  Lunch time in fifth grade 

wasn't easy for any of the kids.  Rumors about the origins of the 

food and the people who served it abounded.  And eating it was no 

picnic, either.  But his thoughts didn't linger on the food for 

very long; he later thanked himself for that.

     He remembered seeing Kaori running across the grassy play 

field after school.  She wasn't on the track that surrounded the 

field; she had run on it often enough before to make this incident 

seem unusual.  So, Satoru stopped to take a quick look.  "Just a 

little glance to see what's going on," he had justified in a 

whisper.  She didn't know he was watching, and he supposed that 

was a good thing.

     She was just trying to run, not anything else special.  Just 

run.  But she tripped.  Satoru assumed that it was a rock or maybe 

a dirt clod that caught her foot.  She got up, dusted off her bare 

knees, and continued.  This time, she ran harder than before, 

leaning forward for an imaginary finish line.

     She tripped again.  This time, Satoru saw that there was no 

rock or dirt clod.  She didn't really fall all the way to the 

ground; she caught herself with her hands and sprang back up.  And 

she was running again.  Her arms pumped in time with her legs, 

faster, faster.  He could hear a distant growl, light from 

distance, and too familiar to be anybody else's.  Her cry caught 

in her throat, and she tripped again.

     Satoru turned and walked the long way home around the other 

side of the school.  He didn't see her that evening.  When he did 

see her the next day, he didn't mention what he saw.  He never 

mentioned it to her.  He eventually realized, after *those* 

classes on *that* subject, that it probably had something to do 

with her growth spurt; she was taller than him that year.  But he 

never really bothered to keep the memory in the front of his mind.  

He did notice that she didn't play much on the field that year.  

But the next year, she was playing as well as she ever had.

     The memory felt both out of place and perfectly appropriate, 

resurfacing after so many years.  There it was, floating before 

him like so many sparkles of nothing.  When he focused his eyes 

away, he saw Kaori approaching, carrying more napkins than he had 

previously seen associated with any one person.

     Satoru tried to look busy helping with the spill.

     "There!"  Kaori dumped the two gargantuan handfuls of napkins 

on the creeping orange mess.  "That should do it."  After a few 

moments of fervent soaking, she took the sopping napkins to a 

nearby trash can.

     "I think we've done all the damage we can do here," Satoru 

mumbled.  "Why don't we head back."

     Kaori lowered her gaze to her tray.  "You're probably right."  

Her voice fell softly to the ground.  Satoru hoped she wasn't 

crawling back into whatever shell she had been in at the airport.  

He turned and started walking towards the tray deposit.

     "We'll do something fun this afternoon.  How's that sound?"

     Kaori didn't say anything.  Since she was behind him, he 

could only imagine that she had nodded or hadn't heard him or...  

His mind, awakened by his recent and more distant memories, raced 

with less hopeful thoughts.

     He could see how they must have looked; him leading the way, 

and Kaori following two steps behind, head low, taking the small, 

obedient steps of someone wilted and vacant.

     "Like what?"  The response came so long after the question, 

it took a few moments for Satoru to figure out what she meant.  He 

put his tray on the blue conveyor belt that eventually disappeared 

behind a wood-paneled wall.

     "I..."  He almost said that he didn't know, but he bit his 

tongue.  "It's a surprise."  He smiled and winked at Kaori, who 

frowned skeptically.

     "Okay," she sighed as she finally relented a smile, "but it 

had better be good."



There was a message on Satoru's machine when he and Kaori returned 

to his room.  It was from Ichiro:

     There was a message on Satoru's machine when he and Kaori 

returned to his room from breakfast.  It was from Ichiro:

     "Hey, Satoru!  How was last night?"  There was a short burst 

of giggling from the background and a sharp, tight 'smack.'  

Ichiro continued.  "Ouch!  Anyway, Yumiko and I got invited to a 

party tonight.  We figured that maybe you and Kaori would like to 

come as well.  You two must be tired of being cooped up in that 

room all alone with nobody to stop you from..."  Another pause for 

giggling and another 'smack.'  "Ouch!  Stop that!  Anyway, if you 

two want to go, give Yumiko a call, okay?  See ya."

     "Well, Kaori, what do you think?  Maybe a nice party?"  

Satoru looked to Kaori; she was lying on his bed, her face to the 

wall.  "Kaori?"

     "That sounds good to me."  The voice floated listlessly 

around the room.

     "We don't have to go.  We can stay here tonight.  But I can't 

promise anything exciting.  Just TV or something..."

     "No, that's okay.  I want to go.  It'll be fun."  Kaori 

rolled over to face Satoru.  She flashed a limp V-sign.  Satoru's 

expression didn't change; Kaori's hand descended to the bed 

slowly.  "What?"

     Satoru shook his head.  "Nothing."  He smiled gently.  "You 

get some sleep.  You look tired."

     "But how will you live without me awake to entertain you?"  

The limpness of her body had overtaken her mouth, making the grin 

she attempted seem like a chore.

     "I'll think of something.  Anyway, I just skipped my lecture 

class today, so I might as well do some reading on it.  I'll put 

some music on if you want."

     "That sounds good.  There's a CD in my suitcase.  Can you put 

that one on?"

     "Sure..." Satoru reached opened the beige suitcase and pulled 

out the CD.  The title was in English, and the band wasn't any he 

had heard of before.  "What is this?"

     "Floater.  They're a band from the university.  Give it a try 

-- you'll like it."

     Satoru opened the case and placed the CD in his stereo.  The 

speakers poured a strange mix of samples and keyboard sounds 

across the room.  Kaori snuggled closer to the wall.

     "Can you put it on track 5 please?  Thanks."

     Satoru complied.

     Though he couldn't understand what was being sung, the 

tortured vocals and heavy guitars suggested something less than 

relaxing.

     <He's dead!>

     "I thought you liked jazz," Satoru wondered aloud.

     <I was alive, I was alive, I was alive, I was alive...>

     "Well, I like this too," Kaori replied tersely.

     <...I was alive, I was alive, I was alive, I was alive...>

     "Why?"  Satoru was glad Kaori couldn't see his visible 

shudder.  "You never used to like *this* stuff."

     <...Now I'm dead!>

     A long pause, then, "I don't know.  I just do now."

     <Something inside keeps telling me I have died...>

     "Don't worry," Kaori continued.  "There are other songs on 

this CD you'd like.  Just keep it on, please?"

     <...Something below keeps pulling me through my soul.>

     Again, Satoru complied.

     <Something inside keeps telling me I have died...>

     "Umm, Kaori?"

     <...Something I know, it makes me numb even though.>

     "Do you know what the lyrics are saying?"

     <Oh God!  I'm dead!>

     Kaori waited a long while to answer.

     <Oh no!  It makes me numb even though!>

     "No."  Her voice caught on the word.  "No, I don't."

     <I was alive, I was alive, I was alive, I was alive...>



Satoru turned the music down until he could also hear Kaori 

breathing.  Once her breathing slowed and smoothed, he wrote a 

note, left it by the pillow, and left for Ichiro's.



The note by the pillow read:

     Kaori,



     I'm at Ichiro's.  The number is at the bottom of this note.

     Call me when you wake up.



     I'm very sorry.  I didn't want to wake you.



     --Satoru



"Where's Kaori?"  Ichiro met Satoru at the front door of his dorm 

building.  Satoru had called from the phone just outside the front 

door.  The weather was still crisp, the sky still clear, though 

not as bright as before.  Ichiro wore his leather jacket; Satoru 

wasn't wearing a coat.

     "She's still asleep."  Satoru started walking, his eyes 

blank.  Ichiro caught up with a couple of brisk steps and walked 

beside his friend.

     "So, do you want to go to the party?"  Ichiro's voice was 

still light, but it was beginning to tarnish with concern.

     "I don't know.  I do, I mean, I think Kaori would do well to 

get out a little.  But I don't think she wants to go."

     "Well, we could..."

     "...I mean, she's changed so much.  I don't know if I even 

know her anymore.  She smiled once earlier, an actual smile.  You 

know all those smiles you saw before?"

     "You mean the one time?" Ichiro quipped.

     "They weren't real.  It's like she's...  This is nuts!  Why 

did she come back?  And why isn't she at her parents?  I can't 

keep her in my room forever!  Somebody's going to wise up sooner 

or later.  Even though it *is* a coed dorm, there are rules 

against this, and the way she's acting, she may sleep all term for 

all I know.  And the music she's listening to now!  The stuff's 

downright disturbing, and I don't even know the words!  What's 

going on with her?"

     Ichiro blinked three times and stopped at the corner.  "You, 

my friend, need to get that girl out and about."  He shrugged as 

if it was all so simple.  "She's depressed, and she came back here 

to forget about whatever it is that's depressing her.  And you," 

he pointed an index finger to Satoru's chest.  "You are her way of 

forgetting.  You're her solution.  So start solving, already!"

     Satoru took a long moment to absorb the statements, then 

nodded with determination.  "You're right.  She needs to get out.  

We'll go to that party.  So, where is it?"

     "That's a surprise."  Ichiro winked as he grinned, which made 

Satoru all the more wary.

     "Okay then, can you at least tell me *when* it is?  Or is 

that top-secret too?"

     "It'll start around seven, and will probably go for a while.  

I'll provide the ride if you provide pizza afterwards."

     Satoru nodded.  "That is an acceptable solution," he stated 

officiously.

     Ichiro saluted his friend.  "Sir, you won't be disappointed, 

sir."  With that, he started walking back to his dorm.  Satoru 

checked the time, then headed back to his own room.



6:42 PM.

     "It'll be fun.  I *promise*," Satoru reassured Kaori for the 

third time in as many minutes.  "You need to get out, anyway.  

Being cooped up in my room is no way to spend your evening..."

     "And mingling with a bunch of drunk, dirty-minded boys is a 

*good* way to spend my evening?"

     "Nobody's getting drunk."  Satoru hoped he was right.  

"Ichiro's usually pretty good about the parties he chooses."  

Satoru flipped through all the times that statement had turned out 

to be true.  Both of them.

     "Two out of five isn't *that* bad," he rationalized under his 

breath.  He decided not to count all the stories Ichiro had told 

him.

     As they waited outside Satoru's dorm, the wind brushed frozen 

air past their cheeks.  Kaori shivered in her coat.  She was still 

in her trousers and tee-shirt, despite Satoru's protests.  She had 

packed a dress, but when Satoru pointed it out, she refused to 

wear it.

     "You'll stick with me, okay?"  Kaori sounded more like a 

parent than a friend.

     "I will."  He rubbed his nose with gloved hands.  "Don't 

worry."

     "I'm not worried about *me*."  She smiled and turned in time 

to see Satoru drop his jaw.

     "Yeah, right, like anybody will go for me right now!  

Especially with you right next to me!"

     "You saying I'd scare 'em off?"

     "I'm not saying anything anymore," he smirked as Ichiro's car 

pulled up.  Satoru opened the rear door and motioned dramatically.  

He could see Kaori's giggle on the frigid air, but he was unable 

to hear it.

     After a rather winding drive along narrow roads, the car came 

upon a house.  A very large and equally familiar house.  Satoru 

felt the little confidence he still had in his previous claims 

crash into the floor of the car with a dull 'thud.'

     "The party's *here*?!?"  Satoru banged his head against the 

chilly window a couple of times and cursed.

     "I'll explain later," Ichiro felt Satoru's icy stare drill 

deep into the back of his skull.  He hoped Satoru wouldn't kill 

him before he had a chance to park the car.

     "I always wanted to go to a party here!"  Satoru exclaimed 

after a desperate silence.  Ichiro looked at Yumiko in confusion.  

Yumiko returned the look.

     "But you said you hated..."

     "Ichiro," Satoru gritted.

     "...Masao, but you two must have reconciled!  I'm so happy!  

This is truly a wondrous day!  And what better place to celebrate 

than at his parents' mansion?  I love happy endings!"

     "Don't overact *too* much," Yumiko whispered.

     "Sorry."



The party as a whole was subdued compared to some of the  

experiences Ichiro felt compelled to talk about on occasion.  The 

guests as individuals were mostly stationary, maybe swaying a 

little, maybe talking some, mostly eating, and definitely 

drinking.  Drinking a lot and drinking it often.

     "Okay, so Ichiro was wrong.  It's been known to happen."  

Satoru looked sheepishly at Kaori, who was making a rather large 

point of not smiling.  "From time to time."

     "Hey, baby, you ain't got nothing back there!"  A random hand 

flew at Kaori from behind and landed firmly below the belt.  "You 

must be a gymnast, or maybe a track girl?"  She grabbed it with a 

grip that produced a small cry from the hand's owner.

     "I do not yet know how I am going to take my revenge on you, 

Nobata," the girl snarled as she squeezed, and the owner's cry 

grew.  "But mark my words..."  The person connected to the now 

purple hand tried to pull it away, but failed.  Kaori's grip 

tightened.  "...I will take it slowly, and I will savor every 

moment of it."

     "I'm sorry!  Pleeeease, let me go!  I'll never do it again!"  

The voice was turning heads, and the heads began to snicker.  

Kaori lowered her gaze and grinned.

     "No.  You won't."

     Satoru could only blink as Kaori passed him on her way to the 

hour d' erves.  "Are you okay?" was the only thing he could say, 

despite knowing that it was a somewhat understated question.

     Kaori smiled as she reached for the offerings of a random 

platter.  "Never better!"  Her voice sugared to the point of 

excess.  Satoru felt a wince growing in his shoulders.  "I'm in a 

crowded room with a bunch of rich perverts, listening to music my 

little sister wouldn't like, hoping to God these crab cakes are 

good."  She took a bite.  "Well, at least this party isn't a 

*complete* waste," she grumbled.

     "Look, I think you just need to relax and mingle a little.  

These people," he glanced across the room and realized he was 

about to lie.  "They're not bad, once you get to know them.  

They're just a little... loose at the moment."

     Kaori shrugged.  "Whatever," she waved him away as she would 

a mosquito.  "Have fun, or whatever you call this.  I'll be 

against the wall, guarding my nothing."

     "Okay, just let me find Ichiro, and we'll get out of here."  

Satoru craned his neck and scanned the room.  Given his height, 

the boy shouldn't have been hard to spot.  Unfortunately, Satoru 

found that a number of the richer families had unusually tall 

children.  He reasoned it wasn't genetic, rather it was just what 

was required to make his job as hard as humanly possible.

     "The first time I actually find somebody I *want* to easily," 

he gnarled, "I'll build a shrine to that person then and there."

     Aside from the lightest of conversations with the various 

drunk party-goers, Satoru said nothing more at the party for a 

good amount of time.  Three songs flew by as he pushed his way 

past the ever-growing number of guests, in search of Ichiro, or 

Yumiko, or, towards the end, even Kaori.  This worried him.  He 

knew she wasn't about to take his advice, nor would she leave 

without him.  Unless that was her revenge.

     "It's rather poetic, now that I think about it," he noted 

bitterly under the stiff dance beat.  "I suffer here for eternity 

while she escapes to anywhere.  Clever girl."

     Two songs later, he realized that, as tempting as it must 

have been, she was still at the party, albeit coming from an 

unexpected corner. Yumiko was nowhere to be seen, but Ichiro was 

about three or four people behind Kaori; Ichiro and Satoru made 

eye contact, and Satoru tapped his watch.  As he pushed through 

the crowd to the front door, Ichiro revealed a huddling Yumiko 

standing in front of him, practically riding on his shoes.

     "You three are a pleasant sight."  Satoru opened the door, 

which allowed four more people to enter.

     "Well," Ichiro beamed, "now that we've been replaced, shall 

we be off?"



10:21 PM.

     "...And when he finally woke up, he asks me, 'Did I just do 

that in the kitchen?  And of course I couldn't keep a straight 

face, but I was able to fool him into thinking he had!  hahaha... 

haha... ah... hahaha... ha?"  Ichiro frowned.  "I guess you had to 

be there."

     "I'm glad I wasn't," Kaori returned quickly.  She sipped on 

her lemonade while Satoru chuckled in agreement.

     "How true, how true."  Ichiro finally smiled.

     "Thanks for the pizza," Yumiko spoke softly, but her smile 

compensated.

     "You're quite welcome," both Kaori and Satoru spoke 

simultaneously.

     "Oh no you don't," Satoru fumed.  "I'm picking up this 

check."

     "Nope."

     "Yes I am."

     "No you're not."

     "Yes I am..."

     Kaori produced a yellow receipt and waved it triumphantly in 

front of Satoru.  "No.  You're.  Not."

     "How did you...?"

     "Remember when I had to depart for a few moments?"

     "Why you sneaky..."

     "Well, I did have to go, but I figured, while I was there..."

     "You really need to pay for things, don't you, Satoru?"  

Ichiro interjected happily.

     "He doesn't feel manly unless he pays for everything I eat or 

drink.  Oh, and he hates it when I order for him." she added with 

a mischievous lilt.

     "I see you let him order for you tonight."

     "I'm being nice to him.  Calm before the storm.  I'm not 

happy with him at the moment."

     "Why?"  Yumiko was still smiling, but her eyes were fiendish; 

Satoru could see she was only egging Kaori on.

     "Well, he dragged me to that party."

     "True, true."  Ichiro's grin grew a little guilty, but he 

took no blame.  "So, what're you going to do to him?"  Yumiko 

elbowed Ichiro in the ribs.  "As punishment, I mean."

     "Oh, I dunno.  I'll think of something.  Unless you have a 

particularly good idea."

     "Well, I've always been partial to the water tortures.  Maybe 

something along those lines?  You know, maybe a good ten-hour 

forehead dripping, or perhaps a mice warm-water nocturnal 

manicure?"

     "You're evil."  Satoru noted bluntly.

     "Hrm... that's a thought," Kaori rubbed her chin.

     Satoru shook his head.  "Look, I'm sure you're all are having 

a great time discussing my impending doom, but I have class 

tomorrow.  And so do you, Ichiro."

     "Yes, mommy."  Ichiro sighed as he slid out of the booth.  "I 

can't complain, though.  You did deliver on the pizza.  So to 

speak."

     "Oh, ha ha.  I'm alight with mirth.  Let's go."



As soon as Ichiro dropped Satoru and Kaori off, he turned to 

Yumiko.  She sat, very still, watching her hands move as she 

smoothed her dress.  "Did you see what I saw?"  His voice was 

excited, but there was no happiness there.

     "You mean at the party?"

     Ichiro and Yumiko were already in front of the former's dorm 

before he spoke again.  "What are we going to tell Satoru?"

     Yumiko stopped suddenly.  Ichiro took two steps to react and 

turned around as she began speaking.

     "We'll tell him the truth."

     "What do you'll think he'll do?"

     "I don't know."  Yumiko shrugged.  "Neither of us do, and 

that's the scary thing.  We don't know Satoru that well.  We've 

been friends with him for a few weeks, but that's nothing compared 

to the history he and Kaori have.  I don't even know if he'll 

believe us."

     "I hope he does."

     "Me too."  She paused, then said plainly, "I hope he kicks 

Masao's ass."

     Ichiro blinked.  "Me too," he finally agreed.  The boy turned 

back towards his dorm.  "You know, you're really cute when you're 

bloodthirsty."

     "Thank you."  She paused.  "Ichiro?"

     "Yeah?"

     "If Masao had done that to me, what would you have done?"

     Ichiro didn't speak for a long while.  "He didn't though.  

I'd prefer not to think about that."  He smiled.  "But, if he 

had..."

     Yumiko looked at her hands, and saw they were clenched in 

fists that held her dress.  "You're right.  He didn't."

     "...I would have kicked his ass."  He leaned over, and kissed 

her cheek.  "I still love you, you know."

     Yumiko felt her cheeks redden a little.  "I know."

     "Do you want to...?"

     She shook her head.  "You know what I think, Ichiro."

     He grinned.  "It was worth a try."

     "It's always worth a try for you, isn't it?"

     "Yeah."  He watched his breath float in front of him.  "But 

one of these days, I'll ask and you'll say yes."

     She giggled, barely audible, but visible in the chill.  "One 

of these days."



The lights were off; the silence had already fallen.  Kaori's 

breathing had slowed again, and Satoru was just drifting off when 

Kaori spoke.  

     "Satoru?"  Her voice floated to his ears, and peered inside, 

making its way cautiously to his brain.  Satoru jerked awake.

     "Yeah?"

     "Do you think I should have stayed here?"

     Satoru rolled over to face the girl.  Propped up on one 

elbow, he could see her huddled underneath her covers, facing away 

from him.  "How do you mean?"

     "I mean for college.  Do you think I should have gone to 

college here?"

     Satoru shrugged, but realized she couldn't see that.  "I 

dunno.   I have to say, I felt really sad that you were leaving.  

I mean, I knew you had your heart set on going to America, and 

that was a goal I couldn't begrudge you."

     "But?"  Her voice was so quiet now.  Satoru thought he heard 

a sniffle, but he couldn't be sure.

     "But... yeah, I wished you had stayed here.  But, I'm happy 

for you either way."

     There was a long pause.  Satoru could definitely hear 

sniffles; Kaori's breathing was interrupted by shuddering sobs.  

"I'm so sorry..."

     "What's wrong, Kaori?"  Satoru sat up in bed, his concern 

showing plainly on his face.  He wished she'd turn around to see 

it; he was so bad at expressing himself at times like this.  The 

moments crawled, glacially, until he'd almost forgotten what he'd 

asked her.  Then, her voice cracked and moist, she spoke.

     "I don't want to leave."

     Satoru nodded, and again chided himself for the visual 

response.  "Okay.  You can stay as long as you want."

     "Thank you."  Her whisper was muffled by the pillow, so much 

so he barely made out the words.  "Good night."

     Satoru thought for a moment about sliding off his bed, about 

holding her in his arms and comforting her.  She'd been so 

homesick.  He realized he couldn't imagine how much she missed 

home.  He wondered, self-indulgently, if she missed him as much.

     Shaking the fantasy from his head, he rolled over, and lay 

awake as Kaori fell into a deeper sleep.  Soon after, he felt 

himself lose grip on lucidity.



                         *    *    *    *



November 6th, 1997

11:48 AM.

     "The three cardinal trapezoidal formations, hereto made 

orientable in our diagram by connecting the various points HIGK, 

PEGQ, and LMNO, creating our geometric configurations which have 

no properties, but with location, are equal to the described 

triangle CAB quintuplicated.  Therefore, it is also the five 

triangles composing the aforementioned NIGH each are equal to the 

triangle CAB in this geometric concept!  Therefore, in a like 

manner, the geometric metaphors can derive a repeated vectoral 

sum.  This is your assignment, and I would like to see the results 

tomorrow."

     Satoru chuckled in hopeless confusion.  "Maybe it's not too 

late to become a monk," he considered sullenly.  The bell tolled 

the end of the class; it had never sounded sweeter to him than at 

that moment.  He shook Ichiro awake.

     "What did the prof say?"  Ichiro put on his coat, and picked 

up his backpack.

     "He told us we were all hopelessly stupid and proceeded to 

show us how hopelessly stupid we really were."  Satoru grinned in 

spite of himself.

     "Did you take good notes?"

     "Yeah, sure.  Real good notes."

     The pair exited the lecture hall, moving slowly.  "Wow, the 

whole class looks beat," Ichiro noted.  As they looked out ahead 

of them, they saw 150 hopeless souls pondering a change in major.

     "You slept through the worst academic experience human 

civilization has ever known."  Ichiro saw Satoru's expressionless 

face, and became rather concerned.

     "So, it's gonna be on the test?"

     Satoru didn't answer.  Ichiro wrote it off and changed the 

subject without pause.

     "What are you and Kaori doing today?"

     "Nothing, really.  Why?"

     "Yumiko wanted to know if Kaori would like to go shopping 

with her.  It'd probably do her some good."

     "I guess so.  You'll have to ask her, though."

     "Yumiko already has."

     "Then why are you even bothering to tell me?"

     "Oh, I don't know.  Maybe it's just my incredibly strong 

sense of courtesy."

     "Covering your butt, eh?"

     "You got it."  Ichiro flashed a smile and a thumbs up.

     "So I guess it's just you and me then."

     "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you."

     "About what?"

     "After lunch.  First, we must feast."

     "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

     "If that's not a feast, I don't know what is."

     "You're strange."

     "Hey, don't knock the chicken pot pie."

     "I had no intention of disparaging your chicken pot pie.  I 

just said you were a weirdo."

     "That's better."



12:02 PM.

     "Thanks for going with me.  I hate to shop alone."  Yumiko 

smiled hopefully as she walked into the lobby of the store.  Racks 

of clothes of various fashions and sizes greeted the pair of 

girls.  Kaori was quiet; she hadn't said more than couple of words 

during the whole ride there, but the silence didn't strike Yumiko 

as uncomfortable.  She'd just have to try a little harder to get 

Kaori to open up.

     "What do you think of this one?"  Yumiko snatched a autumn 

floral-print dress and sweater from the first rack on the left.  

Kaori shrugged.

     "I don't like dresses much."

     "Oh."  Yumiko shrugged.  "I'm not much for florals anyway."

     "I'm sorry."

     "What?"

     "I'm sorry for dragging you down.  I didn't get much sleep 

last night."

     "That's okay.  Say, why don't we get some lunch.  Shopping on 

an empty stomach isn't too much fun."

     Kaori smiled.  "That sounds like a plan.  I know this place 

downtown that you'd probably like."

     Lunch consisted of lasagna and lemonades at the Cafe Pierrot.  

As Kaori finished her second lemonade, Yumiko considered whether 

what she was about to say would be too much too soon.  It didn't 

matter, though; she was going to have to say it sooner or later.

     "I saw what happened at the party," Yumiko tried to sound as 

sympathetic as possible,  "with Masao."

     Kaori set the tall thin glass on the table with a loud 

clatter of shifting ice.  "Don't tell Satoru."

     

     Yumiko pursed her lips.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

     "Not really.  Just don't tell Satoru."

     "I won't, but Ichiro probably will.  He saw it too."  Before 

Kaori could say anything in reaction, Yumiko added, "We're behind 

you, Kaori.  You did what was right."

     Kaori sighed.  "Thank you."  She stirred the straw in her 

glass.  The shifting ice made lightly musical clinking sounds.  

Yumiko let the moment hold before continuing.

     "Why did you come back, Kaori?"

     "You're rather direct today.  I didn't figure you for a busy-

body."

     Yumiko frowned.  "I'm just looking out for my friends.  We're 

all worried about you, but if you're not going to tell us why 

you're back, we can't help you."

     "I just needed to get away for a while."

     "Get away from whom?"

     Kaori looked up from her glass suddenly.  "Nobody," she 

immediately responded.

     "Okay, I believe you.  You just needed a little vacation."  

Yumiko raised her hands apologetically.

     "I missed Satoru..."  Kaori began.  She paused, considering 

her glass again.

     "Yes?"

     "Don't tell Satoru, but I love him."

     "I know."  Yumiko smiled.  "Why did you go to America, then?"

     "Because I didn't know I'd miss him that much."



12:03 PM.

     "Spill it, Ichiro."  Satoru was tired of waiting.

     "What?"

     "You said you needed to talk to me about something.  So, what 

is it?"

     "Let me finish my pot pie, and then we'll talk."

     "So it's not that important, then."

     Ichiro paused.  "Okay, I'll tell you."

     "Thank you."

     "You wouldn't say that if you knew what I was going to say."

     "If I knew what you were going to say, I wouldn't *have* to 

say 'thank you.'"

     "True, true."  Ichiro took a drink.

     "Well?"

     "A second to prepare, please.  This isn't exactly easy."

     Satoru waited.  Ichiro drank.

     "Okay."  Ichiro took a very deep breath and exhaled slowly.  

"You remember the party last night?"

     "I'm trying to put it behind me."

     "Oh, ha ha.  Anyways, you remember when you couldn't find 

Kaori for a little while?"

     "Yeah?"  Satoru leaned forward.  "What are you saying?"

     "Nothing."  Ichiro shrank back.  "Nothing at all."

     "Don't give me that.  What happened?  Something happened to 

Kaori last night.  What was it?"

     "Well, I don't know quite how to say this--"

     "--How about in plain old Japanese?"

     "Okay."  Ichiro waited for a moment before he spoke.  "I 

heard Masao and Kaori... arguing... in one of the bedrooms.  I'm 

not going to guess about what exactly happened in there, but 

Yumiko and I both saw Masao leave the room really angry, so he 

probably didn't get..."  Ichiro tried to look Satoru in the eyes, 

but couldn't raise his head.  "...what he was after.  Kaori left a 

few moments later, and that's when we decided to head back to the 

living room."  Ichiro exhaled.  "That bastard!  Look, I'm sorry--"

     "Don't apologize."

     "But--"

     "No."  Satoru looked at Ichiro's drink.  "May I?"

     "Go right ahead."

     Satoru took a long drink, and sank back into his chair.

     "So, what're you gonna do?"



12:04 PM.

     "Do you think Satoru's going to go after Masao?"  Kaori 

finally asked.

     "You know him better than I do," Yumiko noted.  "I'm not sure 

what he's like when he's mad."

     "He's really a very gentle soul.  He wouldn't do anything 

without reason."

     "I see."

     "He'll probably go ballistic, though."  Kaori grinned.  "When 

we were kids, the boys used to make fun of me because I was too 

tall and a girl and could run faster than all of them.  You know, 

the usual stuff.  Satoru got into a fight defending me when some 

of the boys started pushing me around."  Kaori smiled.  "He's a 

romantic like that."

     "He loves you, too."  Yumiko stated.  "There isn't a day that 

goes by where he doesn't talk about you.  He's told us so many 

stories, I feel like I know you like a long lost friend.  That's 

why we're all so worried about you."

     "Thank you.  But I don't know if he loves me anymore."

     "Sure he does.  When you called from the airport, he was 

worried sick about you.  We all were, but he was nuts.  He only 

wants to see you get better.  Whatever that takes, he'll do it.  

You know that, too.  So why don't you let him help you?"

     Kaori's eyes welled a little.  "He's so nice to me.  I can't 

ask him to help me, though.  Not this time."  Kaori wiped a slow-

moving tear.  "I shouldn't have come back."

     "Why can't you ask him to help you?  He'll do it."

     "I already owe him too much as it is.  Asking him to do this 

for me now would be too much to ask any friend.  And if I told 

Satoru why..."  Kaori stirred the ice absently.  She felt her 

throat tighten, and her nose stuff up.  "Look at me, crying like a 

baby," she noted between sobs.

     "He'd never leave you.  You and I both know him -- he's too 

loyal to leave you, now or ever.  He'll fight for you until the 

end."

     Kaori smiled and sniffled.  "Thanks."  Again, she wiped a few 

stray tears, and nodded with purpose.  "I'll tell him when we get 

back," she announced.

     "Great!"  Yumiko smiled brightly.

     Kaori slurped the melted ice from her glass.  "Now, you 

wanted to do some shopping?"



12:27 PM.

     "ISHIKI!!"

     Masao Ishiki opened his door casually.  "Hey, Satoru!  Long 

time no see.  Enjoy the party?"  A few muffled chuckles from 

behind the door pricked Satoru's ears.

     "No."

     "I see, well, why don't you write your complaint in a letter, 

and slip it under my door, okay?  I'm a bit busy."

     Satoru shoved himself against the door, bowling Masao back 

into the room, and allowing the furious boy access to the room.

     "Oh, so I see you've talked to Kaori recently."  Ishiki 

grinned mercilessly as he stood.  "Was it good for her too?"

     "You sonuvabitch!"  Satoru lunged for Masao with inhuman 

rage.  He didn't take much notice to the pair of boys looking on 

as he went for Masao's throat and squeezed.

     As words flew enraged from his lips, two sets of punches hit 

home, assaulting his spine and kidneys.  Masao choked something 

unintelligible.  Satoru growled in pain, but continued to hold his 

grip.

     The barrage of punches continued to pummel at his kidneys and 

back until he relented.  As he let go of Masao's neck, Masao's 

fists joined in the beating.

     The sounds from Masao's room resonated musically at the end 

of the hall.  The grunts, the slaps and thumps, the cries without 

words.  It was all in a foreign language, something calmer persons 

would never understand.

     The man at the end of the hall understood the sounds, and 

reacted.  He strode to the open door and saw the jumbled mass of 

writhing bodies sweating violence.  He decided to even things up a 

bit.  What he came for could wait a little longer.

     "Hey!  Leave the kid alone!"  He cried from the doorway.  

Everybody stopped momentarily.  Nobody even breathed except the 

man as he moved like a blur into the confused fray.

     He had the element of surprise, which let him successfully 

attack the topmost boy.  With nightmarish speed and precision, he 

punched the boy repeatedly in the face until he screamed for 

mercy.  When the man stopped pumping his fist, his victim 

scrambled from the room, not even bothering to take his coat with 

him.

     He tried to repeat this same basic maneuver with another boy, 

but the two remaining attackers knew of the new player, and would 

not be surprised again.  He did manage to land a series of punches 

directly on the face of the tall pretty boy.  With his cries, the 

fight ended where it was.  Bruised and slightly bloodied, marked 

with impressions of teeth and lumps from boots, the other boy left 

quickly and silently.

     The boy on the floor didn't move much; he was conscious, 

though.  As he wobbled to his feet, the newcomer turned his 

attention back to his current victim.

     "Apologize."

     "What?"

     "Apologize."

     The boy hesitated, and the newcomer balled his fist.  The boy 

bowed his head and whispered, "I'm sorry."

     The victim coughed and spat red.  "Thanks."

     "You are welcome.  Let's go."  The newcomer led his new 

friend from the room.

     "Where's your room?"

     "Down the hall."

     "Who are you?"

     "I'm Satoru."

     "Satoru Nobata?"

     "The one and only."  Satoru coughed.  "Who do I have the 

pleasure of speaking with?"

     The boy paused.  He was strikingly tall, and his features 

gave his foreign origin away.

     "My name's Ryan Stewart."  The boy paused again, then nodded.  

"I'm pleased... to meet you."

     "Likewise."  Satoru coughed again.

     "I'm looking for Kaori."

     "Really?  Are you from America?"

     Again, the boy paused.  He searched Satoru's room for 

something familiar.  His eyes slowed around the suitcase, and 

stopped at the CD case.  He frowned, and continued.

     "I came by plane today to pick Kaori up.  Where is she?"

     "She should be back in a minute.  She's with a friend of 

mine.  She's okay."

     "I suppose I had better explain why she's here," Ryan 

chuckled nervously.

     "Please do."

     Ryan took a deep breath, and began his story:

     "You see, her roommate Ami is my ex-girlfriend.  When she 

found out that Kaori and I were starting to see each other, she 

tried to stop it.  When we started dating seriously, she became 

strange, calling me at night, questioning my intentions at every 

turn, all sorts of jealous ex-girlfriend stuff.  She even called a 

bar Kaori and I were at to see if we were really there.  We were, 

of course.  I wouldn't do anything to hurt Kaori, especially when 

Ami's watching over my shoulder like a warden.

     "At the beginning of last week, Ami began calling my phone 

with death threats.  She said that if I kept dating Kaori, she'd 

make sure I'd never see her again.  I figured she was going to try 

and kill Kaori, but it was a lot weirder.  A few days ago, she 

bought a plane ticket and packed Kaori's suitcase.  When Kaori 

came home from school, Ami drugged her and put her on the plane 

here.

     "Ami knew that when Kaori got to Tokyo, she'd call either you 

or her parents.  She wanted to keep her away so she could have me 

to herself.  It sounds crazy, but it's true.  She figured that if 

you saw Kaori, that you'd be against me if I ever found out where 

you were.  But you're smarter than that.  You see that I couldn't 

do anything to hurt Kaori.  I think she's very special, just like 

you do.  When Kaori and I go back, we'll sort everything out."

     Satoru furrowed his brow.

     "It sounds crazy, I know.  But you know that truth is 

stranger than fiction.  You can ask Kaori herself when she comes 

back.  When will she be back?"

     "In a couple of minutes," Satoru replied.  His eyes were 

puffing up; his whole body ached.  Slowly, he shook his head.  

"I'm sorry for being so short with you."

     "It's quite all right."  Ryan smiled.  "I probably sound 

crazy, but it's all true."

     "No, that's okay.  Anything can happen."  Satoru sighed.  

"Thank you for helping me back there."

     "It was my pleasure."  Ryan cracked his knuckled proudly.  

"Anything for a friend."

     Satoru tried for a moment, but couldn't hold back the 

question for very long.  "How long have you two been going out?"

     "Oh gosh, it seems like forever, really.  We met right as 

school started in September, and we've pretty much been going out 

ever since."

     "So you two are pretty close?"

     Ryan grinned.  "Confidentially, we're about as close as it 

gets."

     Satoru suddenly wished he hadn't spent so much effort on 

Masao.  "You mean you two have--"

     Ryan caught on, and shook his head emphatically.  "Nonono!  

We're just really close.  It's almost like we're married."

     "M-married?"

     "Yeah.  I didn't say that wrong, did I?  You know, like 

husband and wife."

     "I understand."  Satoru massaged his sore neck.  "Don't rub 

it in," he mumbled.  He chuckled to himself darkly.

     "What?"  Ryan had heard the chuckle.

     "It's funny," Satoru began.  "She didn't really mention you 

much."

     "Hmmm."  Ryan thought very deeply for a time.  "You know, she 

didn't talk much about you, either."  He smiled.  Satoru saw a 

black tint in his blue eyes.  "Maybe she just doesn't talk much."  

He laughed heartily.  Satoru joined in weakly.

     "Look, let me give Kaori's friend a call, and I'll see if 

she's--"

     "I think she's here already."  Ryan motioned to the doorknob.  

It was turning.

     <Hi, Kaori!>  Ryan stood and smiled affectionately.  Kaori 

dropped her bags and blinked.

     <Ryan?>

     <Tee-shirt and jeans?  C'mon, Kaori, you can do better than 

that.  What happened to all the dresses I bought you?  You look a 

*lot* better in them than some ratty old jeans.>

     Kaori sighed.  <I guess I didn't bring any.>

     Ryan chuckled nervously.  <You mean, Ami didn't pack you 

any?>

     Kaori shrugged and flopped on the bed.  When she saw Satoru, 

she gasped.

     "What happened to you?"

     "I got into a fight."

     "With who?"

     "Masao."  Satoru grinned.  "I kicked his ass."

     Yumiko, standing in the doorway, smiled.

     "Good for you."  Kaori smiled.

     "Ryan's here to take you home."

     Kaori looked quickly at Ryan, who smiled warmly.

     "Home?"

     "Back to the University," Ryan confirmed.

     The silence breathed like an animal half-asleep.  Yumiko 

disappeared, leaving the three to their own.  At length, Ryan 

stood and stretched.  Placing his hand on Kaori's head, he 

scruffed her hair playfully.

        "I think we've done all the damage we can do here," he 

noted cheerily; Kaori reached for her suitcase.  "I have a cab 

waiting outside," he continued, "and two tickets to Eugene.  Thank 

you, Satoru, for taking care of her."  He stuck out his hand.  

Satoru shook it absently.

     "No problem."  The words fought their way past the thoughts 

at the fore of his mind.  Kaori stood, stepped up to Satoru, and 

smiled.

     Weakly, she spoke:

     "Thank you."

     "But you said--"  He could read her eyes; she didn't want to 

leave.  She said so.

     "Shh," she smiled, and put her finger on his lips.  "Not a 

word, okay.  I'll be fine.  This won't mean a thing."

     "Kaori," Ryan coaxed.  "Let's go."  The last two words cooled 

on Ryan's lips, and traveled frozen to Satoru's ears.

     "I don't believe you," Satoru stated.  She said...

     "Then why don't you come after me, hmm?" Kaori's voice drew 

black.  "That's what you do best, isn't it?  Lord over me like 

some tyrant?  Sometimes I don't need to be chased after, you know?  

I don't need to be led around like some kid.  I'm a grown woman 

now!  That probably never occured to you, did it?"

     "But I--"  But she said so...!

     "Not a word, Satoru!"  She grinned maliciously.  "Go ahead 

and give me a call when you figure yourself out, okay?"

     Ryan placed his hand on her shoulder, and she turned away.

     "Good-bye, Mr. Nobata," Ryan stated plainly.

     Satoru tried to stand, but his injuries bit at him 

relentlessly.  The door's slam echoed hollow in his ears.  Satoru 

fell to his knees.

     "Oh God... Kaori..."  He doubled over, and softly cried.  

Something in his stomach knotted tight, and pushed hard upward  

She said... but she knew.  He stumbled to the bathroom across the 

hall.  His stomach emptied, and the acidity of vomit wafted from 

the second stall.

     Minutes afterward, washing his face and brushing his teeth, 

cleaning himself up, he looked in the mirror.  "She's right.  

But... no.  No, she isn't.  This can't be right."  Something still 

yanked at his brain.  Ryan's story wasn't right, Kaori's tirade 

wasn't right, none of it was right.  It was all... it was all so 

fake.  But at the same time, she seemed so genuinely angry at him.

     "What I do best...?"  His eyes widened, and a small smile 

came to his lips.  

     Something finally made sense.



6:52 PM.

     "I'm going after her."

     "But what about what she said?" Ichiro interjected.

     "She didn't mean what she said," Satoru murmured.  He looked 

Ichiro in the eyes.  Ichiro was sitting on the floor; Satoru 

shifted on the bed and winced.  Yumiko frowned.

     "I can't believe they could do all that," she began.

     "There were three of them."  Satoru replied.

     "So, why are we here, other than to be your ever-present and 

willing moral support?"

     "I have a little money stashed away, but I need..."  Satoru 

took a deep breath.  "I need eighty thousand."

     Ichiro blinked.  Yumiko nodded.

     Satoru hung his head.  "Look," he apologized.  "I hate to do 

this, but I can't ask my parents right now.  You're my only 

option."

     A long pause hung on the air.  Then, Ichiro spoke.

     "I'll be right back."

     "Thank you," Satoru began.

     "Don't thank me yet, buddy.  I haven't given you anything."

     "That doesn't matter."  Satoru smiled.

     "I'm staying with Satoru," Yumiko called to the departing 

Ichiro.  "Go ahead and--"

     "--I know."  Ichiro closed the door.

     Satoru uncrossed his legs and tried stretching.  He inhaled 

sharply; Yumiko winced with him.

     "Lay down.  Ichiro will be back in a minute or two."

     Satoru didn't argue.  Yumiko helped him lay on the bed 

slowly.  Her face looked a little different; her actions felt 

subdued, but deliberate.  She sat beside his bed on the floor.

     "I talked with her."  Yumiko spoke softly.

     "Really?"

     "She loves you very much."

     "Did she say that?"

     "No, but I can tell.  She and I are a lot alike, really."

     Satoru nodded.  "Did she tell you why she came back?"

     "I didn't ask, but I don't think you'd need many guesses to 

figure it out."  Yumiko looked at the door.  Her shoulders fell 

forward, and she sighed.

     "Thanks for doing this for me," Satoru offered.

     "Don't thank me.  It's not my money."

     "But Ichiro's always broke.  Where's he going to get eighty 

thousand?"

     "Ichiro's never been broke.  He just likes seeing what he can 

get away with.  He did the same thing to me when we first met."

     "You two are really close, aren't you?"

     "We've known each other since junior-high." Yumiko sounded a 

little proud.

     "Are you two...?"  Satoru hesitated, unsure of the proper 

words to try.

     "We went out for a while in high school, but it didn't work 

out like we had planned."

     "But you're still together."

     "True.  Did you and Kaori ever date in high school?"

     "No, but--"

     "It makes a world of difference."  Yumiko smiled.  "Best 

friends should never date."

     Satoru didn't speak; Yumiko took a deep breath.

     "You and Kaori are best friends, right?  You've known each 

other forever.  But even as best friends, you've always had other 

flames, right?  Like maybe she found a guy she thought was really 

cute, and you helped her, because you were friends.  But it 

probably hurt a lot, didn't it?"

     Satoru continued to lay in silence, looking at the 

photographs stuck on the wall behind Yumiko.  The girl licked her 

lips surreptitiously; she wondered if he was thinking about what 

she was saying, or about what had happened earlier.  Regardless, 

she knew he was thinking about Kaori.

     Yumiko continued.

     "When Ichiro and I started going out seriously, I found out 

all about his posters and magazines.  I didn't know how to resolve 

it, because I was dating him at the time, and wasn't thinking 

clearly.

     "You and Kaori have known each other since you were babies, 

so there probably isn't much you don't know about each other.  I 

do know that what Kaori's doing with Ryan isn't real.  He's done 

something to her.  And I think I know what."

     "What?"

     "I'm not going to say.  I don't want to cloud your head any 

more than it is."

     "But you're saying I should go after her."

     "Yes.  I'm behind you all the way on that.  Because I don't 

want to take the chance that I'm wrong.  And I'm never wrong.  Not 

about this."

     "Did he--"

     "--I told you I wasn't going to say.  Now, not another word.  

Ichiro should be back any second.  We'll give you a ride to the 

airport, and you can take it from there."

     "What about when I get there?  How the heck am I going to get 

around in America?!"  Satoru's voice strangled in his throat.  

Yumiko could see the anxiety begin to play on his face.

     "Okay, stay calm.  Just stay calm.  I have a cousin that goes 

to U of O.  He speaks Japanese and English pretty well, so he can 

act as your interpreter."

     "Will he do that for me?"

     "He'll do it for me.  He owes me a big favor, so he won't 

back out.  Let me give him a call, and I'll set everything up."

     Satoru motioned to the phone.  "Be my guest."  Yumiko stood, 

and poked Satoru's nose.

     "Don't worry, kiddo.  Everything will be all right."

     Satoru froze.  He had never seen Yumiko like this before.  He 

flipped through his memories to find something that would explain 

why she was so open all of a sudden.  He couldn't think of 

anything.  The question gnawed at his mind so deeply, he could 

only barely make out the edges of Yumiko's voice as she spoke to 

her cousin.

     The receiver clicked as Yumiko placed it back on the phone.  

"Alex will pick you up at the airport when you arrive.  I'll just 

give him a call when you leave and tell him to be there when you 

arrive.  Now his Japanese isn't great, but he should be able to 

understand most of what you tell him.

     "Why are you doing all this for me?"

     Yumiko smirked.  "Oh, I just hate to see a good love story go 

down the tubes because of a foreign influence."  She hoped she 

sounded convincing.

     "What did she mean?"  Yumiko changed the subject.

     "What?"

     "You told Ichiro you knew what she meant when she yelled at 

you.  What did she mean?"

     Satoru opened his mouth, but no words came.  He closed it, 

waited a moment, and tried again.  "When we were in high school 

together, I always told her that chasing after her is what I did 

best.  You see, if I got her mad, she'd run away.  Literally.  She 

was a great runner, and she knew I couldn't keep up, so to punish 

me she'd run and of course I'd chase after her.  I think she did 

it just to see me huff and puff after her."  Satoru grinned; 

Yumiko returned the grin.

     "So when she told you to do what you did best she meant to go 

after her."

     "That's what I think she meant.  The whole tirade was a 

little too weird to be honest."

     "Not that it matters, right?"  Yumiko chuckled.

     "True." Satoru chuckled.

     The door opened.  "Well, I had to donate all 12 pints of 

blood I had saved up for a rainy day, but, hey, what's a few 

gallons between friends?"  Ichiro handed Satoru a rolled bundle of 

money.  "A hundred thousand.  I figured you'd want to travel first 

class, of course."

     "Thank you so much."  Satoru felt tears welling up.

     "Just bring Kaori back in one piece, okay?"

     "We'll leave you alone now.  You get some sleep, and call us 

when you want to head out, okay?"  Yumiko stood and turned towards 

the door.

     "Okay."



Outside the door, a little down the hall, Ichiro and Yumiko turned 

to Masao.  Short words were exchanged, and Ichiro nodded to Masao.  

Yumiko stood no more than a forearm's length from Ichiro, just 

behind, holding his arm in hers, hiding the right half of her body 

from the other boy.

     "That's two you owe me," Masao said, grinning.  Ichiro did 

not respond; Yumiko opened his fist and placed her hand in his.  

She let her gaze fall as harshly on him as she dared allow.

     "No," Ichiro finally spoke, his tone dark, his delivery slow 

and practiced.  "I owe you nothing."  Yumiko gently squeezed the 

hand she held, and let it go, returning her arm to the crook of 

his elbow.

     The conversation was thus finished, and Masao returned to his 

room.  Yumiko and Ichiro walked back to the latter's dorm.  Yumiko 

continued to hold his arm, and when he wrapped it around her, she 

reciprocated.  He didn't ask when he opened the front door to the 

hall.  She didn't say a word as she followed him inside.



Satoru dreamed.

     Punches.  Kicks.  Bites.  Screams choked with strong hands.  

Big hands.  Hands that wanted to kill.

     "You wanted to kill him," Kaori said.

     "I would have.  But they stopped me."

     "Would killing him make you happy?"

     "Yes."

     "Then kill me."  Kaori took off her clothes and became Masao.

     "No."

     "Why not?"  Masao smiled.

     "Because you're--"

     "Kaori?"  Ryan chuckled.  "It's me, Ryan!"

     Satoru looked down.  He was wearing a dress.  More than that, 

his arms were slim, his legs sunbrowned and feminine.  He felt his 

face.  Smooth, like Kaori's.  He was Kaori.  He started shaking 

softly.

     Ryan stepped close.  He was so tall, so strong, all lean and 

meaningful muscle.  His big hands, tight, warm, hugged Satoru.  

"Shh," he murmured.  "Not a word."

     Ryan's hands began to shift, slowly.  Moving down.  Satoru 

shook harder, but couldn't speak, or scream.

     "Shh," Ryan continued.  "Not a word."



Satoru blinked and realized he was standing outside his dorm 

building.  The first snow of winter floated lazily to the ground.  

Scarcely an inch had fallen, but more than a few students were 

playing about in it like children ten years younger.  He smiled; 

the peaceful scene would surely cheer up Kaori.

     He looked to his right.  Kaori stood next to him, shivering.  

He could hear her teeth chattering.

     "Here," he smiled.  "This'll warm you up."  He took off his 

coat, and placed it on her shoulders.  Kaori snuggled inside it, 

nearly disappearing in its size.

     "Thank you," she whispered.  But still she shivered.  And 

still, her teeth chattered.  It seemed almost worse than before.  

Satoru started unbuttoning his flannel overshirt.

     "Here."  He replaced the coat with the flannel, and replaced 

the coat over it.  Kneeling in front of her, he buttoned both the 

shirt and coat up.  He looked up, and saw Kaori smile.  Her lips 

were blue.  She continued to shiver, violently trying to warm her 

freezing body.  Kaori closed her eyes.  Satoru saw her last breath 

cloud above her nose.

     Satoru looked down.  Kaori was naked from the waist down, 

buried to her hips in pristine snow.



Satoru awoke again, gasping for a few moments until he regained 

composure.  It was already sunrise.  He called Ichiro's room, and, 

after nearly fainting when Yumiko sleepily answered the phone, 

found that both Ichiro and Yumiko were already awake, waiting to 

take him to the airport.  After packing a backpack of clothes and 

essentials, he turned off his lights, locked his door, and steeled 

himself for a long flight far from home.

     He managed to find a flight in the very early afternoon, and 

spent the remainder of time wandering the airport trying to keep 

his mind off Kaori.  Yumiko and Ichiro followed him, making jokes 

and generally helping Satoru in his task of preoccupation.

     When it came time board the plane, though, all three fell 

silent for a moment before Ichiro spoke.

     "Give him a couple of good right hooks for me, okay?  I wish 

I could go with you and help with the battle, but I think you 

might do better by yourself.  Just remember who you're fighting 

for, got it?"  He patted Satoru on the shoulder and disappeared 

down a main corridor.

     Yumiko's hands shook a little as she handed Satoru the plain 

white envelope.  "Give this to Alex when you see him, would you?  

Thanks."  She turned to go, but Satoru put his hand on her 

shoulder.

     "Yumiko..."

     Yumiko's head fell forwards, and Satoru felt her shoulder 

tense up.  Before he could react, she spun around and hugged him 

tightly.  They stayed like that for a moment before Yumiko stepped 

away.  She was crying, but smiling.

     "You love Kaori very much, Satoru."  She wiped a tear from 

her left eye.  "Now she'll know that."  Her smiled widened.  "Do 

your best, Satoru Nobata."

     "I will."  Satoru grinned and gave Yumiko a quick thumbs-up.  

With a deep held breath and shaking steps, Satoru boarded his 

flight to America.



                         *    *    *    *



November 8th, 1997

6:22 AM.

     "Thank you for picking me up so early in the morning," Satoru 

sounded apologetic.  Which he was.  But he wasn't sure how an 

apology would fly with the yawning cousin of Yumiko Kitamura, so 

he thanked the boy apologetically.  It was the best he could come 

up with after so long a flight.

     The boy continued to yawn for a lengthy moment.  He seemed to 

indulge himself in it, stretching and inhaling loudly, not even 

bothering to cover his mouth.

     Alex looked at least half-Japanese, probably more, but his 

style was certainly different.  His hair was dyed what should have 

been red, but in his hair, it seemed more bronze than anything.  

Probably due to the early hour of Satoru's landing, Alex's clothes 

were haphazardly chosen and worn.  A wrinkled blue flannel and 

khaki pants offset dingy tennis shoes that had been white once, 

but had long since been scuffed gray.

     The boy finished his yawn with a nod.  "It's nothing," he 

mumbled through a thick American accent.  "I'll open the trunk."  

He pressed a button on a tiny remote hanging from his key chain, 

and the trunk of the white sports coupe sprung open obediently.  

Satoru placed his backpack in the trunk and closed it gingerly.  

Moving cautiously around the idling car, he climbed in as humbly 

as he could.

     "I hope you don't mind loud music," Alex began.  "I have 

trouble staying awake without it."  He smiled sleepily at Satoru, 

who nodded emphatically.

     "By all means, please stay awake."

     "Thank you."  Alex pressed a few buttons on his stereo's 

front panel, and started pulling out of the parking lot.  The 

noise of the engine drowned out the player's sound for a few 

minutes, but once they were on the highway, Alex turned up the 

volume.  The music sounded too familiar to be anything else.  Alex 

began, "This is--"

     "--Floater," Satoru murmured.  "I've heard them before."

     "Is that so?  I didn't know Floater was famous in Japan."

     "Kaori listens to them."

     "Who?"

     "Nobody."  Satoru took a moment to gather his courage.  

"Actually..."

     "Yes?"

     "Could you pick something else?"

     Alex smiled.  "Sure.  Floater is kind of depressing, huh?"

     "Yeah.  A little."

     "Okay.  Something positive, then."  Making a point of not 

watching the nearly empty road, Alex punched a few more buttons on 

his stereo's keypad, and smiled.  "This should cheer you up, and 

keep me awake."

     A four-count and a blast of music.  "What is this?"  Satoru 

yelled over the guitars and cheering.

     "Rush!"

     "Is that the song's name, or the band's?"

     "The band.  The song is called...  I don't know how to say it 

in Japanese."  He mumbled something in English, then, "Sorry."

     "It's okay."

     "Can you read English?"

     "A little."

     "In the back seat is the CD case.  Go ahead and read the 

title if you want..."

     "That's okay."  Satoru sighed inwardly and turned his weary 

gaze to the passenger-side window.

     The blurred scenery pressed at Satoru's eyes, forcing its way 

into his jet-lagged brain.  He closed his eyes to it, hoping that 

perhaps Alex would find it in his heart to turn the music down 

just enough to let him get a little sleep.

     Alex didn't turn the music down, but, as Satoru found, dozing 

turned out to be much easier than he had predicted.  And as he 

napped, he saw her.



"Satoru?"  The sleeping boy first felt the gentle shake, and 

smiled inwardly.  he could hear Kaori's voice.  It rang between 

the darkness and light, like music from the Spheres.  He let his 

eyelids lay closed for a little longer as he leaned over and 

sighed.

     "Yeah, baby?" he purred.

     "What the heck are you doing?"

     Perhaps it was the shock of new light when he finally opened 

his eyes, or the sudden change in Kaori's voice, but something 

drove a sharp nail into his brain.  He pulled back, and saw Alex 

cringing on the other side of the car.

     "Where's Kaori?"

     "Who's Kaori?"

     "What?"

     "Kaori.  Who is she.  And why did you call me 'baby'?"

     "I didn't.  I called Kao... oh."  Satoru felt the blood rush 

to his face.  "I... I'm sorry!"

     "It's nothing.  You were sleeping."  Alex smiled.  "I take it 

you're here for Kaori?"

     "It's a long story, but, yeah, I guess so."

     "You two must be close."

     "Or one of us has delusions," Satoru mumbled.

     "Anyway, we're here.  I guess this is where I let you off."

     "I guess so."  Satoru's mind flashed something familiar, and 

he remembered Kaori's letter.  "Oh yeah."  He reached into his 

pocket and pulled out the plain white envelope.  "Kaori wanted me 

to give this to you."

     "A letter?  It's probably a receipt request," Alex snickered 

as he tore the envelope along the top.  "She can be a little 

ruthless sometimes."

     The car fell into a silence as Alex read the letter.  Satoru 

thought that maybe he should stay until the letter was read, just 

in case Kaori had some special instructions Satoru had forgotten.  

He unlocked the door discreetly, and was ready to open the door 

when Alex looked up from the handwritten note.

     "I guess our trip together isn't quite done yet."

     "What?"

     "Yumiko says that I should let you call..." he consulted the 

note.  "...Ami from my room."  Alex grinned.  "And I've just been 

drafted as your interpreter."

     "Thank you," Satoru looked away for a second.

     "It's nothing.  Trust me.  I'm terrible at Japanese."

     "You sound fine to me," Satoru smiled and opened the door.  

"Are we walking from here?"

     "Yeah.  My dorm room is a couple of blocks away."  Satoru 

stretched again and leaned against his car.  "I was going to say 

this at the airport, but I forgot."  Alex snapped to a stiff 

military salute and smiled.  "Welcome to America, Satoru."

     The trip to Alex's dorm was essentially uneventful, but 

Satoru couldn't help but try desperately to absorb all the details 

of the short walk.

     Some of the trees were strangely still green in place, even 

though it was near mid-November.  Others had lost all their 

leaves, revealing to the world the multitude of squirrels and 

chipmunks scrambling about them.

     Dawn had just arrived, but the new sun barely passed through 

the thick clouds hanging low to the ground.  It was almost like 

fog, but just high enough off the ground not to touch the 

rooftops.

     "That's the PLC building," Alex chuckled.  "The ugliest 

building in Eugene."

     Satoru grinned.  He couldn't argue.  Before he could linger 

on the utilitarian structure, Alex drew his eyes across the 

street.  This is Friendly Hall, and that over there is the EMU.  

It's the student center.  It has a computer lab if you want to 

check your e-mail or something like that."

     "None of my friends use e-mail."

     "Oh.  Well, we'll skip it, then.  The people there are really 

rude anyway."

     Satoru chuckled.  "You don't have much allegiance to the 

school, do you?"

     "I went because my parents live here and I can get local 

tuition."  Alex shook his head.  "It's cheap, at least."

     "I know what you mean."

     "You going to a local university."

     "Yeah.  My high school had a program with Nekomi Tech where 

students with good grades got discounted tuition.  I lucked out, I 

guess."

     "Bad school?"

     "Not really, it's probably just all the stress lately."

     "I understand completely.  Here we are.  Good old Bean."

     "Huh?"

     "This," Alex dramatically pointed to the decaying brick 

monolith standing on walls of tinted glass, "is Bean Hall, home of 

all the freshmen who weren't smart enough to get into the 

fraternities."

     "I see."

     "My room's on the second floor."  Alex unlocked a cracked 

glass door and motioned humbly.  "This way, sir."

     Alex's room was only slightly larger than Satoru's back home, 

so he didn't feel too jealous.  The building's atmosphere also 

left a lot to be desired, but he didn't mention it aloud, though 

he didn't argue whenever Alex complained about his college 

environment.

     "The phone's right there.  You have the number?"

     Satoru dug through his backpack and found an old note from 

Kaori.  "Yeah."

     "You might want to wait until later in the morning, unless 

it's life-or-death."

     Satoru paused, then grabbed the phone.  "Thanks."

     Alex blinked.  "No problem."



4:02 PM.

     "Sorry you had trouble getting a hold of me earlier," Ami 

Watase said solemnly.  "I was at class until three."

     "It's quite all right.  So long as Kaori's okay."  Satoru 

looked at the room, the Spartan nature of Kaori's side made him 

cringe.  "Where is she?"

     "She should be here in a few minutes.  Her  class is just 

getting over."

     Satoru nodded.  "How does she look?"

     Ami opened her mouth to speak, but failed to.  She shook her 

head, slowly. "I'm just glad you came, you know?"

     Satoru felt his stomach begin to knot.  "Umm... Ryan said..."  

He looked at Ami's face, hoping to see something he could judge.  

Her eyes grew hard at the name.  "...Ryan said you put Kaori on 

the plane.  He said... well, he said a bunch of things."

     Ami sighed.  "I assume you know he's lying."

     Satoru nodded weakly.  "I wouldn't be here if I thought it 

added up.  But, I want to know, before Kaori gets here.  What 

happened?"

     Ami shook her head.  "Only Kaori can tell you that.  I 

promised I wouldn't say a word to anyone.  I never break a 

promise.  But, I will tell you that I did pack her bags, and I did 

buy her ticket and I did get her a taxi to the airport."

     Satoru nodded.  

     "But she got in herself," Ami continued.  "She came on her 

own accord."  A wistful smile came to her face.  "She talked about 

you so much, I thought I knew you personally.  I think she had a 

crush on you... maybe she still loves you that much."

     Satoru began to blush.  Ami's smile grew as she saw his 

reaction.  "That she flew to you says something.  That you flew 

here after her says as much."  She sighed.  "I hope things get 

worked out."

     "Me too."  Satoru's heart palpatated with nervousness.  "It's 

as bad as I think it is, isn't it?"

     Ami nodded.



The door opened, and Kaori entered.  When she saw Satoru, she 

dropped her backpack, and stormed out the door back into the hall.  

Ami stood.

     "I'll be back in a second."

     After a few minutes, the door opened again, and Kaori entered 

reluctantly, closing it behind her.  Satoru moved to stand, but 

she shook her head, and looked back towards the hall.  "All right, 

you've got me here."

     "Are you all right?"

     "Fine.  Never better."

     "I don't believe you."

     Kaori snapped her gaze on him.  "You're calling me a liar 

now?"

     "I'm not--"

     "--This is ridiculous!  I don't have to take this from you."  

She put her hand on the doorknob, but didn't turn it.

     "I... I'm sorry."  Satoru motioned next to him.  "Please?"

       Reluctantly, Kaori sat down next to him.  He put his hand 

on her shoulder; she didn't react.

     "I know what he did to you," he whispered.

     She stared at him for a long moment, completely motionless.  

Her eyes, empty at first, filled slowly with the meaning of his 

words.

     "You know?"  Kaori's voice crept through her tightening 

throat.  Her lip quivered, and she bit it self-consciously.  She 

squeezed her eyes shut, and slowly pulled them open, as if she had 

to remind herself to do so.  Everything seemed to be an effort.

     "Yes."  Satoru could feel his words pushing against her 

defenses.  "We need to talk about it."

     Again, the words took a moment to penetrate.  Kaori swallowed 

hard, and shook her head no.  "I don't have anything to say to 

you."

     Satoru closed his eyes, steeling himself for the worst.

     "Kaori," he began.  She didn't look up.  "He hurt you."

     "So what?"  She yanked her shoulder away.  "So what if he 

did?"

     "Huh?"  Satoru groped for sane recourse.

     "You don't think I'm strong enough, do you?"

     "I..."

     "You think I'm weak, some little girl you can feel big and 

strong fighting over.  So you decided to fly over here and play 

'big brother'.  So what?  Just because I'm acting a little weird 

to you doesn't mean I need you chasing after me, telling me 

everything gonna be all right."

     "Kaori, something's not right here.  Look, I've known you 

forever.  I know when something's wrong.  And something's very, 

very wrong.  Ryan--"

     "--Enough with him, okay?  Maybe I changed because I wanted 

to change.  Did that ever enter your petty little mind?  That I 

might be outgrowing you and your friends?  Or is the thought of 

letting me grow even a little so foreign to you that you feel the 

overwhelming urge to smother me at every turn?"

     Satoru took a deep breath.  "But I lo--"

     "--Love me, right?  Just because you love me doesn't make 

flying over here to 'rescue' me right.  It doesn't make any of it 

right.  Nothing you've ever done for me has been good for me.  

Nothing you've done has ever been in anything but your own best 

interest."

     "I've always thought of you first," Satoru attempted.  Kaori 

went quiet for a moment, and stepped very close.  She was shaking, 

her eyes red and streaming tears.

     "You lying fucker!"  Satoru wanted to cover his ears, but 

found he couldn't move.  "I don't want to ever see you again!"

     Kaori threw open the door and bolted from the room.  Satoru 

couldn't move; he wanted to run after her, but his legs refused to 

move.

     "I've lost her," he realized.

     "That wasn't meant for you."  Ami stood in the doorway, lips 

pursed sympathetically.

     "It seemed pretty accurate to me."

     Ami looked at her shoes.  "Umm...  I'll go find her, okay?  I 

don't like leaving her alone right now."

     Satoru was already putting his coat on.  "I'll go with you."

     "You stay here.  You may not have been her real target, but I 

don't think she should see you right now."

     "But--"

     "--No.  Just wait here."

     Satoru felt suddenly exhausted; jet-lag and stress clawed at 

him, and he could feel his eyes closing involuntarily.  He let his 

head fall to Kaori's pillow.  It felt so soft, as if the fact she 

had slept on it imbued it with a comforting power.  Closing his 

eyes shut completely, he drew a lingering breath through his 

nostrils.

     Satoru tried to smile.  At least she smelled the same.



Ami found Kaori in the lobby of the dorm, sitting at the piano.  

It all seemed so normal; Ami had seen her at that piano all term, 

and always had at least stood in the doorway of the lobby, hidden 

from view, to listen to her play.  She was good, and was getting 

better.  Sometimes she played her assignments, sometimes her own 

work, or at least work she didn't recognize; she wasn't a big 

jazz-head, so she couldn't always tell Mingus from Akazawa.  But 

she knew when Kaori was playing her own, because she usually 

played it quieter, as if she were afraid of letting anybody know 

she had written the work.  Ami wondered if Kaori maybe had stage 

fright, or the beginnings of it.

     When Ami finally recognized the melody Kaori was playing, and 

had been playing probably since she had sat at the piano, she 

stopped at the doorway.  It was a song that had stuck in Ami's 

mind, one she had heard before she knew Kaori was her roommate.  

She had played it only a couple times, right at the beginning of 

the year.  Ami didn't see a significance, but as the melody 

continued, moving stately and waltz-like, accompanied by the 

player's subtle weeping, the girl who had known Kaori for such a 

short time began to make a connection.  And, silently, she began 

to cry.

     When the song was finished, the last chord still vibrating in 

the air, Ami took a deep breath, and stepped into the lobby.  

There was nowhere for Kaori to run; the lobby was a dead end.  She 

had her roommate trapped.

     "Is that Satoru's song?"  Ami wiped the tears from her eyes.

     "He doesn't know, but yeah."

     Ami could hear something in Kaori's voice.  She wasn't crying 

anymore -- neither were now -- but she didn't sound as defeated 

Ami thought she might have.  She wanted to think that what she 

heard was relief, but she simply couldn't be sure.

     "You need to talk to him," Ami stated.

     A long pause.  "I can't do it."

     "You have to."

     "I can't!"  She turned on the stool to face Ami, but she 

didn't look at her.  "I just can't."

     "Kaori, there's no other way around this."  She stepped 

forward to a couch that sat, squat and old and dingy, in the 

middle of the room.  She leaned against the frame and faced her 

friend.  "He flew down here for one reason."

     "What?  To rescue me?"  She sneered the words sarcastically.

     "Look, there's a fine line between chivalry and chauvinism."  

Ami formed her next words carefully.  "Maybe... maybe you do need 

rescuing."

     Kaori didn't react.  Ami continued, slowly picking the words 

as they flew past her mind.  It felt like there were a million 

things she wanted to say, but she knew most of them would hurt 

more than help.  She knew that personally.

     "What you said to him before, was it really meant for him?"

     Kaori remained silent.

     "Look, Kaori," Ami let her voice raise a little.  "You're 

going to have to talk to him sooner or later, or..."  She paused.

     "...or?"  Kaori looked up.  Her expression was unsettling in 

its objectiveness.

     "If you talk to him, you'll never have to find out what."  

She got up and moved to Kaori, kneeling in front of her.  "You 

don't want to find out.  Please, trust me on this one.  If you've 

ever trusted me, just talk to him."

     Kaori waited for a long moment.

     "I'll be right outside the door, Kaori.  I'll be there for 

you, okay?"

     Kaori stood slowly.  "Right outside the door?"

     Ami nodded, and clasped her hand in Kaori's.  "Let's go, 

okay?"



A sudden creaking brought Satoru out of unconsciousness.

     "I'm sorry."  Kaori stepped in and flopped down beside him.  

She kissed him on the cheek.  "Do you forgive me?"

     "Of course," Satoru began.  "But I'm still confused."

     "Ami says I was acting out.  I guess I got so angry, I 

started seeing you as Ryan, and I went off."

     "So you're that mad at Ryan?"

     "Not any more.  I've said my piece."

     "I see..."

     Kaori grinned.  "Don't worry about it."

     "But he hurt you."

     "Satoru," she huffed pleasantly.  "I wanted him to."

     "What?"

     She giggled.  "I liked it."

     Satoru shook his head.

     "He fucked me, you know."  She looked at her fingernails.  

"He said I was his first time, but I knew he'd done it before."

     "This is a nightmare."

     "Nope."  After a satisfied pause, Kaori continued.  "It kinda 

hurt, but I liked it that way.  He said I would have made a good 

geisha."

     "Nightmare," Satoru repeated.

     "Nice try," Kaori grinned.  "Do you know how big he is?"



6:37 PM.

     Satoru bolted to a sitting position at the sound of the door 

creaking open.  Kaori stepped in as he gulped for air, shaking off 

the dream.

     "Are you okay?"

     "I just had a... Nothing.  I'm fine."

     "Oh."  Kaori shifted in place.  "I, uh..."  She bit her lip.  

"I want to apologize."

     "It's okay."

     "No, it's not."

     "Well, I accept your apology."

     She shook her head emphatically.  "I was thoughtless.  I had 

no idea what I was saying--"

     "--It's okay."

     "It was like something took over.  I didn't mean what I was 

saying."

     "Kaori, it's--"

     "--I never thought it was in me, but I guess somewhere deep 

down it was.  Funny how you never know yourself--"

     "--Kaori!"

     Kaori snapped her mouth shut.

     "It's okay."

     "But, I'll never be able to do that again."

     Satoru smiled wryly.  "That's fine by me."

     "But..."

     "But what?"  He realized he obviously wasn't getting 

something, and his concern came boiling back.

     "That's what I wanted to tell you."

     "What?"  Here it comes...

     "Ami wanted me to tell you, actually.  I didn't think it 

was...." Kaori gathered herself.  "Well, maybe I did think it was 

important, but I didn't think you really needed to know."

     "Know what?"  Satoru tried desperately to remain calm.  

"Please."  He took Kaori's hand.  "Tell me."

     "Ryan..."  She shut her eyes.  "I can't."

     "You can."

     "Okay."  She stood and moved beside Satoru; he kept her hand 

in his.  He let her take a few deep breaths before he tried a 

coaxing squeeze.  Kaori nodded, and opened her mouth.

     Kaori shook her head.  "I... no.  I can't."

     Satoru's heart doubled in pace at the thought of his next 

words.

     "Tell me, dammit!"

     Kaori's eyes dilated.  "Oh my God.  Ryan... we... he..."  She 

stopped there, frozen in place.

     "Go on."  His heart threatened to break his ribs.

     "Don't make me say it."

       "You have to..."  His voice almost cracked, but he 

recovered.

     "Please don't make me."

     "Kaori," Satoru began.  He wanted to help her, to prompt and 

ease her through it, but he couldn't find any words.  He didn't 

want to find them.

      "I know."  She closed her eyes.  As Satoru looked at his 

best friend, and saw her sudden, singular shudder, he knew he 

wouldn't have to coax her any more.

     "We went to a movie and he took me to his apartment and he 

gave me wine and we talked and he kept giving me wine and I got 

drunk and he took off my clothes and I said no but he didn't 

listen and he said everything would be okay and I was too drunk to 

stop him and he kissed me and put me on his bed and climbed on top 

of me and oh my God Satoru oh my God he hurt me oh God he kept 

saying he loved me and he oh God I remember every second Satoru I 

want to forget it but I can't..."

     Kaori was hyperventilating now.  Satoru felt suddenly dizzy.  

Smiling voices from his nightmare saturated his ears, but he 

pushed them to one side.

     "Please make me forget it!"  She began heaving sobs, losing 

her words in them.  As Satoru put his arm around her, her cries 

grew.  He pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms; she curled 

tightly in his grasp.

     Holding her didn't feel like he thought it would.  All the 

times he had fantasized about it, he never thought she'd feel like 

this in his arms.  It seemed more like hugging a little girl than 

the woman he had grown up with.

     Then Satoru remembered why he was holding her.

     "Shhh.  That's it, you just cry," he whispered as he rocked 

the girl gently in his arms.

     "I'm so sorry..."  She dug her face deeper into his chest.

     "Don't be. Just cry."

     She screamed into his chest.  He felt it more than he heard 

it; he was glad for that.  He smiled with regret and hugged her 

tighter.  "That's it," he coaxed.  Kaori screamed again, and let 

it fall into a steady, moaning cry.

       She cried until she fell asleep.  Satoru held her while she 

dozed, humming a lullaby that pushed itself from some dusty corner 

of memory.  Maybe it was because of Kaori's shuddering breaths, or 

the smell of her tears, or the warmth of her body, or some 

paternal instinct once dormant now awake.

     The melody was simple; after a few minutes, the lyrics came 

back to him, appearing in his head as he sang them.

     "Don't cry, my darling.  Don't cry tonight.  Tomorrow you'll 

see the sun, my darling.  Tomorrow will be fine."  As he sang and 

rocked, he felt his throat tighten around the lyrics, choking the 

light notes, turning the lullaby into a sort of melodic weeping.  

Satoru allowed himself a small sniffling tremor, hoping it 

wouldn't jar her awake.  A sniff and a sudden exhale announced 

Kaori's emergence from sleep.

     "Don't," she managed.  The girl swallowed hard and tried 

again.  "Please don't cry."  She shifted in his arms, bringing her 

head to rest next to his.  "Lay down," she whispered.

     Satoru loosened his grip around her, and complied.  Kaori lay 

close, draping her arms around him.  "You're good to cuddle with," 

she noted with a tired smile.  "You're a lot better when you're 

not crying, though."

     "I could say the same about you."

     Kaori drew herself against him, and kissed his cheek.  Her 

lips lingered there, and he felt them for a moment after they had 

lifted.  "Just hold me for a while," she whispered, her breath 

warm against his skin.

       Even though his stomach turned somersaults of unfamiliar 

nervousness at the request, when he looked at her, her eyes told 

him that she would not be denied her wish.  And he had no will or 

desire to keep it from her.

     And so, Satoru Nobata held Kaori Akazawa close, and soon, 

drained from travel and crying, warmed by their proximity, secure 

in their soft embrace, they fell asleep in each other's arms, and 

did not wake until the next morning.



November 9th, 1997

10:22 AM.

     "You don't have to do this."  Satoru followed Kaori, two 

steps back, as she marched down the sidewalk towards another 

faceless dorm building.  "We can just go home."  The wet concrete 

ground under Satoru's shoes; it had just stopped raining, and the 

dry spell had inspired Kaori's walk.

     "I have to do this, and you know it."  Her expression was 

hard, unchanged from when she woke up half an hour earlier.  "I 

have to let him know how much he..." she inhaled sharply at the 

words.  "...how much he messed me up.  It's now or never."

     "But what if he tries something?  Satoru jogged to catch up, 

huffing slightly at the ever-steepening incline. "I don't know if 

I can take him."  His mind flashed with hostage situations and 

guns leveled on temples.

     "You can take him.  Just remember when you kicked Masao's 

sorry butt."  She grinned, and hit Satoru on the shoulder.  "It 

won't come to that, though.  Just trust me, okay?"  She turned her 

gaze back on the dorm, which loomed like a fortress of evil in 

front of them.  Taking a few seconds to enter a number into the 

keypad on the door, which responded with a cheerful 'click', she 

threw open the large double doors to the building, and continued 

her march.

     The lobby of the building extended for meters in each 

direction, lined with small post office boxes and bulletin boards, 

peopled with a few busy and concerned students, milling about, 

looking for something they knew was somewhere in the lobby.  The 

green marble floor reflected the morning sun as it filtered 

through the windows on the far set of doors, making it seem even 

more gray and frigid.  It was about to rain again.

     "The elevator needs a key," she noted.  "I don't have his 

anymore, so we'll have to take the stairs."  She punched in the 

same four-digit number on the door to the stairs, and opened the 

steel-gray door.  The staircase extended in both directions, cold, 

storm gray, infinite concrete.  She began climbing, skipping 

steps, bounding up flights faster than Satoru could keep pace 

with.

     "How high up is he?" Satoru panted as they approached a sign 

that indicated they were on the third floor.  The stairs continued 

up, seemingly to the sky, where he imagined they merged simply and 

unobtrusively with the clouds they seemed so much like.

     "Just a little more.  Sixth floor."  Her breath was getting 

short as well, and Satoru had to smile a little.  His head was 

ringing though, and afforded him little enjoyment from the 

observation.

     "Great."

     Once at the top landing, Satoru leaned hard against the 

railing.  His breath felt so tight in his chest, he knew his lungs 

were going to explode.  Mercifully, Kaori halted before opening 

the steel door to the main hallway.  She leaned against the 

railing next to Satoru, and chuckled.  "You'll be okay.  You 

haven't let me down yet."

     Satoru nodded half-heartedly.  "Sure... no... problem...  Oh 

God, I'm gonna die."

     Kaori chuckled again, more enthusiastically.  "Come on, 

Nobata.  Get yourself together."  Satoru looked up to see Kaori 

practically beaming.  "Don't make me get all mad and kick your ass 

too."

     Satoru grinned, and stood up straight, his breath returning.  

"Aye aye, Cap'n."



"This is his room," Kaori whispered.  "I'll go inside, you wait 

here.  If you hear anything nasty, pull the fire alarm and do your 

worst."

     Satoru nodded silently.  She'd been planning this out.  How 

long, he couldn't be sure, but he knew her plan was more than just 

a simple improvisation.  He turned and leaned his back against the 

concrete wall a foot from her.  So close, but he felt a million 

miles away.  She was going to be alone in there.  The very idea 

made his stomach knot hard.  He wanted to be the one in there 

alone.  Just five minutes alone with that... that... he couldn't 

think of a word strong enough.

     The knock on Ryan's door crashed against Satoru's brain.  

When he heard the lock click, and the door open, his heart raced.  

There was no turning away now.  He piqued his hearing as Ryan 

greeted Kaori, and as Kaori entered silently.  He moved close to 

the door after it closed, and growled low in his throat when he 

heard the lock click again.  The door seemed too solid to break 

down, not that he was any sort of action hero to begin with.

     Several minutes passed before the door clicked open again.  

Satoru decided to stand his ground, facing the door when it 

opened.  He tried his hardest stance, arms folded on his chest, 

stance wide, expression harder than any he'd dare lay on a friend.

     "Let's go," Kaori nodded as she exited the room.  In the 

distance and grayness of the room, Satoru saw a silhouette of a 

man, slumped in a chair, hands cupping his head.  

     "Come on," Kaori repeated.  Satoru closed the door and 

followed Kaori down the hall and back to the cold of the 

stairwell.

     "What did you say?" Satoru asked, his tact taking a sudden 

back seat.  He winced at the directness of his question.  "I'm 

sorry."

     "It's okay, and it's none of your business."  Kaori smiled 

gently, and descended the stairs, slower than she ascended.  She 

walked with a calm Satoru hadn't seen since she left Japan for 

America months before.  For her, it was almost over.  All that 

remained were the mundane logistics: transfer credits, tuition, 

college loans, and one tough task in explaining to her parents why 

she was back so soon.

     Satoru smiled inwardly.  For all that had come before, things 

seemed much less dark now.  As they exited the building, walking 

in the drizzle, he put his had on hers.  Things were going to be 

okay.

     "No," Kaori said flatly.

     "Huh?"  Satoru stopped in his tracks.  Kaori turned and faced 

him.  She shook her head.

     "I can't do that with you."  She looked to the ground.  "I 

can't start again like that.  Not now."

     Satoru wanted so desperately to ask, "But when?" but he dared 

not speak it.  She looked up as if he'd said it aloud, and just 

gazed at him.  She looked through his eyes, as if digging into his 

very soul.  The melancholy, the gleam of disappointment, neither 

were lost on him as he stayed still, passively taking what she was 

pushing into his eyes.  

     "I don't know if I can ever let you in.  I'm sorry."  With 

that, she turned, and began walking back to her dorm room.  They 

remained mostly silent, avoiding any but the most casual 

conversations.  

     Over the next three days, as they packed and lived and 

finally traveled home, Satoru felt himself crumble from the 

inside.  She showed no signs of reversing a decision it looked 

like she'd made the second Ryan had taken from her what she'd been 

saving.  And there was nothing he could do but support that which 

kept him from her.

     Weeks later, Yumiko would finally comment of how disappointed 

she was in Kaori, about how she understood her situation, but 

still felt a pang of sympathy for Satoru.  She would say this, and 

see in Satoru's eyes what she'd describe to Ichiro as denial and 

longing.  Love filtered through sadness, two hearts of lonely 

melancholy.



                         *    *    *    *



1:13 AM.

     Satoru was crying even before he saw the familiar contents of 

the box: the last letter from Kaori, and the picture of her and 

Ryan.  She was smiling.  Still smiling.  Satoru couldn't feel the 

anger he had felt the first few times he had remembered back, when 

the liquor bottle was full, and sometimes two or three drinks came 

from its welcome neck.  Only nostalgia, tinged with bouts of 

melancholy and pinpricks of regret.

     The man laughed through the reflexive tears; he knew better 

than all this.  "This is ancient history," he reminded himself.  

"I should burn all this, and move on."

     "I always thought you should have."  Kaori shut the door 

behind her and strolled to her husband's recliner.  She hugged him 

affectionately from behind.  "I hate it when you get this way," 

she murmured.  "It really puts a damper on the day."  She kissed 

Satoru's neck just below the ear, and let her lips remind her 

husband of what he hadn't felt since that morning.

     "Come to bed," she pouted.

     "Let me put this to bed first," Satoru grinned lopsidedly.  

Kaori let go reluctantly as her husband stretched and picked 

himself out of his plush chair.  She looked at him with satisfied 

bemusement as he marched solemnly to the kitchen, carrying the 

shoe box above his head like a coffin.

     "And so they lived many happy years, and the promised tasks 

were completed."  Satoru set the box gently on the counter and 

continued.

     "Yet long afterward, when all had passed away into distant 

memory, there were many who wondered whether King Satoru, Queen 

Kaori, and their companions had indeed walked the earth..."  He 

opened the cupboard doors under the sink, and pulled the waste 

basket out.  "...Or whether they had been no more than dreams set 

down to beguile children."

     Satoru opened the box, and considered the contents with a sad 

smile.  "And, in time," he murmured as he dropped the letter and 

photo and shoe box into the waste basket, "only the bards knew the 

truth of it."  He set the basket back under the sink and closed 

the doors.

     "That's a pretty story," Kaori cooed.  "Lloyd Alexander?"

     Satoru nodded.  "I used to think it was silly, but ever since 

Yumiko's been asking me to tell her bedtime stories..."  Satoru 

turned to Kaori.  Her smile warmed him, and he couldn't wait a 

second longer.

     "Come here," he sighed.  He embraced Kaori tightly, and let 

their lips meet.  They stayed in their kiss for a satisfied moment 

before they parted, their lips regretting.  "Have I told you today 

how much I adore you?"

     Kaori glanced at her watch.  "It's well after midnight, so, 

no, you haven't."

     Satoru chuckled and kissed Kaori again.  "Then, please 

forgive me.  I adore you more than..."  The pair strolled to the 

stairwell.  "...Oh, I dunno.  More than anything.  How was your 

concert?"

     "Not bad.  Nice to play in town for a change."  She let the 

silence of early morning fill her lungs before she added, "I'm 

thinking about retiring, though."

     Satoru stopped at the first step and looked at his wife.  

"Why?"

     Kaori smiled.  "I have to keep an eye on you somehow," she 

snickered.  "You get to thinking too much when I'm gone."

     "That I do," Satoru agreed lazily.  "That I do."  He yawned 

comfortably and smiled.  "Let's get to bed.  I want to be awake 

for Yumiko's first day at school."

     "You'd better be," Kaori wagged her finger scornfully, "or 

I'll never forgive you."

     "Yes, ma'am."

     "Don't start *that* again.  I thought I'd broken you of that 

habit."

     "Yes ma'am."

     "You're impossible.  Simply impossible."

     "Why, thank you.  I hear I'm pretty good to cuddle with, 

too."

     "Where'd you hear such a thing?"

     "Oh, I dunno.  A little girl told me once."



------------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTES:



You can find this story on my web site:



     http://www.cafe-pierrot.net



You can e-mail me with comments at:



     caravan@cafe-pierrot.net



I'd like give credit where it is much overdue.  This story was 

thoroughly pre-read by The Mokonators:  Jim Nutley, Eimii, T.H. 

Tiger, Ben Williamson, and Jiro Maeda.  Without them, this story 

would never have come across as well as it did.  Thank you, guys!  

Also high on the list are R. Alexander Spoerer, Richard Van Cleave 

II, and Erin Ellis.  With them, the newer versions of the story 

would have been poor imitations of the tale it ended up being.  

Thank you all.



Now, to the notes:

"Okaeri, Kaori-chan!":  Okaeri is a shortened form of okaerinasai, 

which translates to "welcome home."



"...And so they lived many happy years...":  Taken from the 

Newberry-winning novel "The High King" by Lloyd Alexander.



Conversions:  Satoru is 175 cm, or about 5' 8".  That makes Kaori 

about two inches shorter at 5' 6".



"He's dead!":  Yes, it's a real song (called "Dead" off of 

Floater's 1995 album, "Glyph," a surpisingly good album).  Yes, 

those are the real lyrics.  And yes, it's as disturbing set to 

music as it seems.



Floater:  Because Floater permeates Eugene's culture to the bone,  

most people there know that Floater exists.  Thus it isn't unusual 

for Kaori to have access to the album (it's still in print, and at 

all of the music stores in Eugene) or to know about the band.  

However, her possession of the album says other things...



"The three cardinal trapezoidal formations...":  This monologue 

was lovingly lifted from the 1985 Savage Steve Holland movie 

"Better Off Dead" (starring John Cusack).  No harm was intended.  

I've had classes with lessons like that monologue, and I doubt I 

could do it better than Savage Steve anyway.





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