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This is the first of the never-before-seen sections of Double Vision, a =
songfic I wrote during a bout of serious silliness. For maximum effect, =
play "Bohemian Rhapsody" extremely loudly in the next room, then =
read/sing the songfic along to the tune. Trust me, it's always worked =
really well for me, if not for the people in the next room. I dunno =
exactly what this will look like in plaintext, so if it doesn't work =
out, send me a private email, and I will send you the mega-deluxe Super =
Happy Fun version 2.01. Enjoy!
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: DP Songfic.txt
A Double Vision Songfic
Starring the Cast of Double Vision
(To the Tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody")
WARNING: This songfic will not make sense unless you have read the fanfic, "Double Vision", cycles one through three. Also, if you have not yet read them, this contains mild spoilers for said story. Thirdly, the song "Bohemian Rhapsody" belongs to Queen, or whomever they sold it to. The Dirty Pair is not mine either, but Natsumi Ogawa, Sakura Tenjo, and Bloody Mary are. Don't use 'em unless I say you can. Thank you!
<Scene opens to Sakura, Natsumi, and Director Foley in Foley's cluttered office>
(Music begins, slow synthesizer notes)
Natsumi & Sakura: Workin' for th' Dirty Pair...
travelin' through outer space...
caught in a conspiracy,
to wipe out the human race...
(Guitars and drums join in)
Director Foley: Open your eyes,
Watch the BTR and seeeeeeeee...
Natsumi: I'm just a newbie, I need some sympathy.
'Cause my fate, I don't know.
Little sob, little moan.
Sakura: I'll go anywhere my pal goes, doesn't really matter, to me.
<Scene cuts to the aqualogy tunnel from Cycle two, Natsumi and Sakura sit on the smoking remains of a crashed jeep>
Natsumi: Keeeiii...just killed a man
Aimed her rifle at his head
Pulled the trigger now he's dead
Keeeiii...I hope I'm not gonna die
But Mary beat me up and made me cry.
<Kei stands up from behind the jeep>
Kei: Natsumi, oooooooo...
Didn't mean to leave you behind...
But if you're not alive this time tomorrow,
We'll get a new part-ner, as if nothing ever happened.
Natsumi: Too late, my time has come
Sends tremors down my spine
Body bleeding all the time.
Sakura: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and waste Mary...
Natsumi: Sakura, ooooo...
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
<The music swells>
Mindless Hordes: Ooooooooooooooooh...
<The music swells some more and the guitars wail, before trailing down to the pianos>
<Those damned plinking pianos start in, and the scene cuts to BTR headquarters>
Frederick Dalton: I see a little silhouetto of a man
Kevin Sleet! Kevin Sleet! Could it be my archrival?
Me and Mary fighting, very very painful for me!
Sakura: Kei N' Yuri
Natsumi: Kei N' Yuri
Sakura: Kei N' Yuri
Natsumi: Kei N' Yuri
Sakura & Natsumi: Kei N' Yuri, where'd ya go? Look out belooooow!
<BTR headquarters detonates, leaving Mary sitting in the ruins>
Mary: I'm just a psycho, nobody loves me
1,500 Nuns Mary killed: She's just a psycho, who killed her family
Spare her this life of rabid lunacy!
<Scene shifts to the Lovely Angel's bridge>
Natsumi: I'm so sweet, pure as snow, Mary let me go.
Mary: Uh-uh, hell NO! I will not let you go!
Natsumi: Let me go!
Mary: Uh-uh, hell NO! I will not let you go!
Natsumi: Let me go!
Mary: Will not let you go!
Natsumi: LET ME GO!
Mary: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
Natsumi: LET ME GO!
Mary: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
Natsumi: LET ME GO-O-O-O!
Mary: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
<Sleet peeks in from another room>
Sleet: Oh Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary where'd you go?
Mary: The BTR has a bullet set aside for meeeeeee, for meeeeeee,
For MEEEEEEE!
<Scene cuts to a rock club, where a crowd of 3WA employees mosh in the pit while the heavy guitar riffs from the song blast out. Natsumi and Sakura get up on stage and take control of the microphone >
Natsumi <with a cast on one leg>: So you say you're going to make me cryyy?
<guitar riffs erupt pointlessly and people cheer>
And then you kick my ass and leave me to dieeee...
Oh, Maryyy... can't do this to me Maryyy...
I'm gonna get you, gonna get you back for this.
<Music crescendos as a loud whistling is heard>
<A series of bombs hits the club, decimating it as the guitars wail out the high notes >
<As the dust settles, the crowds from the wrecked club stand up in the rubble, singed and battered, and join hands, rocking back and forth as they ooh, while the pianos thunder out the finale>
Mindless Hordes: Ooooooooohhh yeah...Oooooooooooooohhh yeah...
<Sakura and Natsumi stand up while the Lovely Angel circles overhead and casts a spotlight on them>
Sakura: I'll get revenge for you,
You just wait and see...
I'll kick her ass for you,
I'll waste her ass for you, somedaaaaaaay.
<Sakura and Natsumi lean against each other, arms around each other's shoulders>
Sakura & Natsumi: I'll go anywhere my pal goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to meeeeee...
<Music ends, and the scene darkens>
THE END