I was bored at work (nothing to do today, surprisingly), and
didn't have my Zipdisk with me (the one that has all my stories on it, my
website, etc).  Some of these ideas have been floating around my head for a
while now, some occurred to me while writing the rest.



       There's only a few of them here; I may do more, I may not.  If
anyone else has any ideas for more of them, I say let 'er rip, but that's
just me...  For now, my demons have been exorcised.



       At any rate, I just want to say these are NOT my fault!  They're
the product of a twisted imagination, and shouldn't see the light of day.



       That said... :)



       I've included a sort of 'cheat sheet' at the end, just in case
someone doesn't figure each one out.  See how many you can guess!



       Enjoy!  (or something...)



       Oh yeah.  Usual disclaimers apply.



Brian Payne

sofaspud@sofaspud.org

http://www.sofaspud.org

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

--- 1. ---

       Giggling sounds and an occasional clatter drew Sylia's attention
as she moved down the hall.  Curious, she slowly opened the door and peered
into the living room of her apartment.

       Nene was seated at the coffee table, waving her hands frantically
over the smooth wooden surface.  Crosses of wood with taut strings hanging
down were clenched in her fists.  Sylia stepped fully into the room, peered
over Nene's shoulder, and groaned.

       "Hi, Sylia!  Look what I found!"

       Nene wriggled her fists.

       On the table, the white hardsuit puppet nodded drunkenly before
collapsing back amidst its strings.



                                       * * *



--- 2. ---

       "Kasumi, where's Ranma?"

       "I think he's outside, Akane."

       Akane thanked her older sister and stepped outside.  The sun was
bright and warm, but not overly so.  It was still early enough in the
season that the nights got cool, yet the days stayed warm, and neither was
too extreme.  It was, she reflected, probably her second most favorite time
of year.

       As she stepped off the porch, the unmistakable sounds of metal
biting into dirt reached her ears.  Frowning, she walked around the corner
of the house, then stopped in surprise.

       A small area of the yard, close to the house yet still in the
sunlight, had been roped off.  Ranma, shirtless, was wielding a shovel on
the rich ground, turning up clump after clump of dark black dirt.  Behind
him, stacked waist-high, were bags of fertilizer and tray after tray of
seedlings.

       "Hi, Akane," Ranma said, pausing in his efforts and wiping the
sweat from his brow.  "Like my new garden?"



                                       * * *



--- 3. ---

       "Go away!"

       "C'mon, Akane.  Even a tomboy like you can't eat 'em all.  Why
don't you share?"

       "Grrrrr...."  Akane took a deep breath.  "If I share with you,
will you go away?"

       "Sure!"

       "Fine.  Here."  Akane picked out half and handed over the
sack.  "There.  Now leave me alone!"

       "Sure, fine, okay," Ranma mumbled around a mouthful of
donut.  "Hey, cool!" he said, peering into the sack.  "I even got a jelly one!"



                                       * * *



--- 4. ---

       The small group huddled around the sculpture, eyeing it
curiously.  Snow swirled around them and gathered in loose drifts, while
icicles hung from the tree branches and the eaves of the house.

       "Well," one began, "I suppose it is keeping in the spirit of the
season."

       "Yes, but it's so... so..."

       "It's pretty!" Mihoshi exclaimed.  Her cheeks were red from the
cold, and a snowflake perched on her nose.  "Can we keep it?"

       Washu shook her head.  "No.  Once it warms up, it's gone.  Until
then, though..."

       "So, who's it from?" Ryoko asked.

       "It doesn't say," Washu replied, bending closer to the object in
question.  "It just says, 'Happy Valentine's Day!' on the base..."



                                       * * *



--- 5. ---

       "Are you ready?" Sailor Moon asked, glancing over her shoulder at
the others.

       "Ready!" they chorused.

       "Let's go!" Moon cried, twisting the handle and slamming the door
open as hard as she could.  The group piled through, quickly fanning out
once they were inside.  Silence was their only greeting.  As the door swung
shut, the large hall became even darker, until finally everything was pitch
black.

       "Mercury?" Moon whispered.

       "Working on it," replied Mercury.  "I'm not seeing anything...
wait.  There's some sort of power buildup, up at the other end of this room."

       In time with her friend's words, Moon noticed a light at the far
end of the hall.  It was very dim, but swiftly growing in
intensity.  Suddenly it flared up and after the spots left their vision,
they could see a sinister-looking woman pinned by a spotlight and holding a
guitar.

       What in the world?

       More spots came up, illuminating some more women, all identical to
the first, except these were manning other instruments.

       "GREETINGS, SAILOR MOON!  WELCOME TO THE FINAL CONCERT!" they all
shouted in unison.

       "What do you mean, 'final concert'?" asked a confused Sailor Moon.

       "*YOUR* FINAL CONCERT, YOU LITTLE BRATS!  HIT IT!"

       The intro beats for _Enter Sandman_ rang out, magically amplified
speakers driving the bass line into the Senshi's bones with painful force,
while the lyrics and higher notes assaulted their ears and minds...



                                       * * *



--- 6. ---

       "... you've got to be kidding me."

       "We see it too.  Engage!"

       Muttering vile curses under her breath, Asuka moved her Eva
forward, towards her opponent.  "You're MINE, whatever-you-are!" she called
out.

       Vaguely humanoid, white, with odd-shaped colored patches, it
turned to her impassively.  A voice boomed out, startling all of them.  An
Angel, speaking?

       "ARE YOU A GOD?" it asked, rattling windows with its voice.

       In the control room, everybody blinked.  Asuka's Eva, mirroring
the actions of its pilot, drew back in surprise.  "Um, no," she replied,
activating the external speakers.

       "THEN," the Angel boomed impassively, thrusting its arms
forward.  "DIE!"

       Streams of purple lightning cascaded over her Eva.  Shrieking at
the feedback, Asuka nevertheless managed to tuck-and-roll behind a handy
building, and the pain stopped.  She could feel the ground trembling as the
Angel took slow, massive strides towards the Geo-Front.

       "Asuka."  Gendo's voice came over her comm system.

       "Y-yes?" she managed to reply.

       "When someone asks if you're a god, you say Yes."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



THE ANSWERS (or something...)

       1. [Bubblegum Crisis]

       Nene's playing with a puppet, also known as a marionette.  It's
patterned after Sylia's hardsuit.  It's a Saber marionette.  Get it?  Saber
Marionette!  Ha-HAH!  I slay me... :)



       2. [Ranma 1/2]

       Ranma's garden --> Garden of Ranma.  If you're not a sci-fi fan,
you probably won't get this one.  (_Garden of Rama_ is a very popular - and
very good, IMO - book by famed author Arthur C. Clarke.)



       3. [Ranma 1/2]

       "... even got a jelly one!"  Referring to a
donut.  Evanjellydonut.  Ask around the list.  (Apologies to the authors if
you're offended; it's not meant in a bad way, really! :)



       4. [Tenchi Muyo!]

       Ice sculpture, Valentine's Day... c'mon, take a guess. :)   It's
only one of the best pieces of work I've ever read, that's all.  Perry-san,
you're a genius.  (for the still-clueless: _Hearts of Ice_, by Krista Perry)



       5. [Sailor Moon]

       The real world has a band named Metallica.  Sailor Moon has a
baddie named Metallia.  Coincidence?  I think not! ;)



       6. [Neon Genesis Evangelion]

       Okay, so I'm wierd.  Still, that particular scene's been bopping
around my skull for a while.  If you haven't guessed, you both A) grew up
in a cave, and B) need to get out more.  _Ghostbusters_.  80's flick.  Very
very very popular.