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On the advice of a C&Cer, I'm going to give Ukyo's dialogue in Chapter 1
(which was written before I'd seen much of her in the show) another look
over and revise that section a bit, but that's about the only change I
plan to make. The remaining chapters should be a bit more IC all around,
especially now that the novelty of having so many new people drop into
the Ranma-verse is beginning to wear off.
TENCHI 1/2 -- Dimensions in Peril
Chapter 3: We're Rid of the Old Lecher! No Need For Happosai
Later that evening, Tenchi, Ayeka, Mihoshi, and Ryoga joined the
residents of the Tendo home at the dinner table to discuss their plans
for the future. At Ranma's request, Ryo-Ohki had been asked to remain
upstairs during the meal. Ryo-Ohki had complained, but agreed readily
after Kasumi offered her a few carrots.
"So, Tenchi, what are our plans for getting home?" asked Ayeka.
"We won't know until we've talked to Washu," answered Tenchi.
"In the meantime, you're welcome to stay here with us," said Soun.
"I'm sure Ranma wouldn't mind sharing his room with Tenchi, and Ayeka
can stay in Akane's room, since they're already such good friends.
Kasumi, would you let Mihoshi stay in your room?"
"Certainly, Father," answered Kasumi. "And what about the cat-girl?"
"I suppose my room's the only one left," sighed Nabiki. "I'll make
up a basket for her."
"It's such a shame, isn't it Nabiki?" asked Ranma.
"What is?" asked Akane.
Ranma put his hands behind his head. "Nabiki's housing the only one
of the guests who she can't try to rip off."
"Ranma!" shouted Akane. "How rude!"
"We're really sorry for the trouble we're causing," said Tenchi
hurriedly, hoping to avoid a confrontation.
"It's no trouble at all," replied Soun. "I'm sure the girls and
Ranma appreciate the company. We get so many people coming through here,
destroying the place and attacking our family, that it's nice to meet
some people who don't mean us any harm." He sipped his tea.
"Do you get any criminals here?" asked Mihoshi excitedly. "Wait
until they meet Galaxy Police Mihoshi! They'll never trouble you again,
that's for sure!"
"Quite true," muttered Ayeka into her teacup. "They'll be too busy
laughing to cause any trouble."
"They're not criminals, generally," explained Ranma. "They're just
people who have really big grudges. Pop makes enemies wherever he goes,
don't you Pop?" He elbowed the large panda who was sitting next to him.
"IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, BOY," replied the panda, courtesy of a
large sign.
"Your father's a panda?" asked Tenchi.
"Does the mother know about this?" asked Mihoshi.
"He got cursed at the Jusenkyo springs just like I did," said Ranma.
"He fell into the Spring of Drowned Panda."
"My goodness," said Ayeka. "What a horrible misfortune."
"You have no idea," said Ryoga. "It's a living hell, I tell you!"
"And I'm sure you know all about Jusenkyo curses, don't you, Ryoga?"
asked Ranma.
Before Ryoga could attempt to explain away his faux pas, he was
saved by a knock at the door. "Hello?" called a feminine voice. "May I
come in?"
"My goodness," said Kasumi. "We're getting so many visitors today."
Ukyo stepped into the dining room. "I hope you don't mind me letting
myself in."
"Not at all," said Ranma. He stared at the large box in her hands.
"What's that?"
"Don't be silly, Ranma honey!" Ukyo admonished him. "I brought you
my chef's special okonomiyaki for dinner!"
Ranma scratched his head. "Home delivery? This is unusual."
Ukyo smiled. "I've got an apprentice now. Little Sasami's taking
care of the restaurant for a while, so I can deliver this meal to you.
Aren't you glad?"
"Sure, I guess..." began Ranma.
"Did you say Sasami?" interrupted Tenchi.
"That's right," said Ukyo. "Who are you? I don't believe we've been
introduced."
"Of course, how forgetful of me. My name's Tenchi Masaki."
"Not THE Tenchi?" asked Ukyo. "Sasami's told me so much about you!
Wait until she hears that you're here! She'll be so happy!"
"That's right," said Tenchi. "And may I ask who you are?"
"I'm Ukyo, proprietor of Ucchan's okonomiyaki restaurant here in
Tokyo."
"Well, we know where Sasami is now," said Ayeka. "I'm so relieved. I
was worried that something might have happened to her."
"We know where everyone is now except Washu, Mayuka, and Kiyone,"
recapped Tenchi.
"What about Ryoko?" asked Mihoshi.
"Oh, that's right. I forgot about Ryoko."
"I wish she'd have the courtesy to stay forgotten," murmured Ayeka
into the cup.
Shampoo burst into the room. Her smile vanished as she laid eyes on
Ukyo. "What you doing here?" she demanded.
Ukyo's eyes narrowed. "Shampoo... what an unexpected surprise. I
don't suppose you also came to deliver food for Ranma."
"No, Shampoo come with stupid Mousse and ask for Ranma help."
A duck wearing thick glasses flapped its way into the room and
landed on Shampoo's shoulder. "Quack!"
"Pardon me," said Mihoshi, "but I believe that's a duck, not a
moose."
"Oh god," came a voice from behind the Amazons. "She's HERE..."
"Kiyone!" shouted Mihoshi excitedly. "Is that really you, Kiyone?"
Kiyone sighed as she walked into the dining room, accompanied by
Washu and Mayuka. "Yes, it's me."
"DADDY!" shouted Mayuka, running to give Tenchi a hug.
"Daddy?" asked Nabiki. "So tell me, which one of these girls who all
look way too young to be mothers of a grown girl like her is the real
mother?"
"None of them," answered Tenchi dubiously. "She was kind of cloned
from some of my DNA... I'm only sort of her father."
"How odd," said Kasumi.
"Well," said Ayeka, "now that Washu's here, perhaps we can get back
to business."
"I already know what you're going to ask," said Washu, "and the
answer is no. There's no way back."
"WHAT?" shouted Tenchi, Ayeka, and Mihoshi simultaneously.
"Besides, we've got more important matters to worry about,"
continued Washu. "Which one of you is Ranma?"
Ranma stood up. "That's me. What do you want?"
"We need your help to defeat the demon that sent us here. It's
followed us here and is probably hunting us down as we speak."
Shampoo glomped onto Ranma. "You fight demon, yes? Great-grandmother
say is great practice for future son-in-law. Shampoo want have strong
husband."
Akane pounded Ranma on the head. "That's quite enough of that!"
"Hey, don't get angry at me!" yelled Ranma. "I didn't agree to
nothin' yet!"
"Please help us," pleaded Kiyone. "We're helpless against it. We
tried to fight it once, and look at where it landed us."
"This is a nice place," argued Mihoshi. "The Tendos are very nice
people."
"But we have to get back to our own dimension," Kiyone reminded her.
"You no worry," Shampoo assured her. "Ranma good fighter. He beat
demon."
"It's none of your business whether he chooses to fight or not,"
said Akane.
"You no can tell Ranma what to do," replied Shampoo.
"You stay out of this!" shouted Akane.
"You no make Shampoo have to hurt you, stupid girl," said Shampoo,
raising her fists.
"If you don't watch it, I'll have to hurt you!" shouted Akane,
raising her own fists.
"Quack!" quacked Mousse, as he flapped his way in between the two
women.
"You go away, Mousse," said Shampoo, pushing him aside and knocking
his glasses off. Mousse angrily charged at Washu, who ducked just in
time. Mousse smacked into the wall hard and fell to the floor. He turned
and raised his wings, revealing a large stash of knives.
"No, Mousse!" screamed Akane. "Not without your glasses!"
"Everybody duck!" shouted Ranma.
Everyone threw themselves to the ground except for Mihoshi, who
stood still with her eyes closed, shaking a finger. "I'm well aware that
there's a duck in the room," said Mihoshi. "You don't have to tell ME
that - Waah!" she screamed as Ranma pulled her to the floor. Knives flew
everywhere, striking the walls and ceiling, but fortunately Mousse
managed to miss every living target in the room.
"This is what we were talking about when we mentioned people trying
to destroy the house," said Ranma over the din of quacking.
"It must be an interesting way to live," remarked Tenchi.
"Everybody stop!" shouted Washu. "The demon's here!" Mousse froze in
mid-throw as everyone else leapt to their feet.
"Are you sure, Washu?" asked Ayeka.
"Of course!" snapped Washu. "I'm only the most brilliant genius
scientist in the entire universe, after all! I sense a very strong
demonic presence in this very house."
"Are you really sure?" repeated Ayeka. "I don't see any demon here."
Kiyone screamed. "It's got me!"
Ranma pushed his way through the crowd in the dining room to where
Kiyone was frozen in terror and glared at her attacker. "It's just you,
you old pervert!" He pulled Happosai away from Kiyone's bosom and stared
him in the eye. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I've died and gone to heaven!" shouted Happosai. "A heaven where
I'm surrounded by beautiful ladies! Look at all of them, each more
beautiful than the last!" He wriggled free of Ranma's grip and shoved
his face into Mayuka's chest.
"Daddy, get it off me!" screamed Mayuka. "It's scary!"
"Hey, get off of her!" shouted Tenchi.
"Allow me," said Ranma, gingerly plucking the old man off of Mayuka.
He dealt Happosai a swift kick, sending him flying out through the wall
conveniently weakened by Mousse's rampage.
"Is that how you deal with everyone who bothers you?" asked Tenchi.
"You have a lot of anger to work out," said Kiyone. "But with a life
like yours, I don't blame you a bit. I sometimes wish I could kick a
certain partner out of my life."
"Oh no, Kiyone!" shouted Mihoshi. "Someone's bothering you? Just
tell me who it is and I'll get rid of them for you. After all, I'm your
partner, right?"
Kiyone sighed deeply. "Of course. Nothing could ever tear us apart.
Believe me, I've tried."
"Okay," said Washu with a shrug. "So it wasn't our demon, but it
sure felt like one."
"I wonder, Washu," mused Ayeka. "I don't think I've ever seen you be
wrong before."
"Hey!" yelled Washu. "Don't go spreading it around, or my reputation
will be ruined!"
"You don't have a reputation!" countered Ayeka. "Nobody except for
us has seen or heard from you in thousands of years! Anyone who ever
thought you were a genius is long dead!"
"You know, Saotome," whispered Soun, "perhaps I was wrong about
getting a little peace and quiet around the place." Genma simply nodded.
"If you think this is bad, wait until Ryoko shows up," said Tenchi.
"That's right," said Ayeka. "Where is that infernal devil woman? I
don't like not knowing where she is. She could come tearing through here
at any time and destroy everything!"
"Ranma knocked her for a loop earlier today," answered Tenchi. "I
haven't seen her since."
"You mean that girl with the white spiky hair?" asked Ranma. "Sorry
about that. Was she a friend of yours?"
"'Friend' isn't exactly the word I'd use," replied Tenchi, "but
she's with us." Ranma stiffened. "Is there something wrong?"
Ranma pointed over Tenchi's shoulder at the stairs. "C-c-c-c-"
Tenchi turned around to see Ryo-Ohki standing on the stairs, staring
at the huge group of strangers. "Meow? Meow meow?" asked Ryo-Ohki. Ranma
screamed and dove under the table, sending the remainder of dinner
flying across the room along with the table itself.
"Ryo-Ohki!" yelled Ayeka. "Didn't we tell you to stay upstairs?"
"Meow," said Ranma.
Genma dropped the napkin he was using to wipe the tea from his
clothes and picked Ranma up, slapping him in the face. "Snap out of it,
boy! It's not a cat!" Ranma snarled and scratched at Genma with the Cat
Fist. Genma stood up and ran out the back door to dive into the koi pond
with Ranma still attached to him, using the deadly technique. When Genma
stood up, he held the female Ranma in his panda paw.
Ranma spat water in Genma's face. "What are you trying to do, drown
me?"
"Ryo-Ohki, no!" shouted Ayeka. Ranma turned to see Ryo-Ohki standing
behind her, offering her hand in apology.
"Meow meow?" asked Ryo-Ohki innocently.
"Meow," answered Ranma.
Genma dropped Ranma and ran toward the house, waving a sign. Ranma
leapt onto his back and began to scratch away, knocking Genma to the
ground and sending the sign flying.
Akane picked up the sign and read it aloud. "SOMEBODY, GET SOME HOT
WATER QUICK..." She turned to glare at Ryo-Ohki, who simply frowned and
mewed softly, bowing her head in shame. "You really need to work on your
people skills, Ryo-Ohki."
*************************************************
"Here you go," said Sasami as she put the tray on the table. "One
large okonomiyaki!"
"Thanks," said the father. "It's about time Ukyo got some decent
help. Here you go." He handed Sasami a coin.
"Thank you!" replied Sasami, putting the coin into the pocket of her
apron and returning to the kitchen for the next order. "I'm making a lot
of money in tips." She opened the oven and peered inside. "Still not
done," she said as she closed the oven door. "Needs a few more minutes."
A bell rang. "More customers." She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and
stepped out to greet the customers. "I sure hope Miss Ukyo gets back
soon," she thought to herself. "This is hard work for just me!"
The customer was a very small old man who chuckled as Sasami
approached him. As soon as he saw Sasami, he leapt up and grabbed at her
chest. "Hmm, too young," he muttered to himself. "Not yet firm enough.
Definitely needs to work out."
Sasami could hold in her terror no longer. She screamed. Instantly,
every customer in the restaurant stood up and surrounded her and
Happosai. "Hey!" shouted a customer. "That old guy's molesting the
waitress!"
"What would you know of an old man's desires?" asked Happosai,
waving his fist angrily at the crowd. His gesture would have been more
threatening had Sasami's panties not been dangling from his clenched
fingers. Happosai barely had time to blink before the angry mob tore him
away from Sasami and hurled him into the street. He turned back to the
restaurant to see the customers trying to comfort the crying girl.
"Perhaps I have gone a bit too far this time," he thought to himself.
"She's not even from Earth, you know," said Cologne from above him.
Happosai kicked at her staff, but she easily dodged the kick and landed
lightly on her feet. "Your hands have wandered a bit too far this time,
Happi."
"What are you doing here?" demanded Happosai. "You know this is none
of your business!"
"You have no idea what my business with you is yet," returned
Cologne. "As it happens, I have a very important favor to ask of you.
You will, of course, agree to do it."
"And what if I refuse?" asked Happosai.
"Then all those girls staying at the Tendo dojo will die or be sent
to another dimension." What little color had remained in Happosai's face
through the years drained away. Cologne smiled. "I knew you'd see it my
way. Here's what you need to do. There's a demon in this city somewhere,
and it's after those girls. Do you think you can help to stop it?"
Happosai cringed. "Is it a big black demon with hideous fangs and
glowing red eyes?"
"How should I know? I haven't seen it myself."
"Because that's exactly what's behind you!" shouted Happosai,
pointing over her shoulder. Cologne leapt out of the way as a white beam
passed through the space where she had been and struck Happosai, who
vanished instantly.
"Well, the girls will be happy about this," said Cologne as she
charged her battle aura, preparing to fight. The demon's body flickered
only briefly before vanishing into thin air. Cologne waited, keeping her
aura ready to meet any trick the demon could throw at her, but there was
no further action from the demon. When she could at last sense no
further evil, she let her aura cool down and released a deep breath.
Mounting her staff, she hopped off toward the Tendo dojo, leaving the
street empty except for Sasami's fading sobs.
-------------------------------------------------------------
BURNS: What is this? Some kind of force field around these vegetables!
HOMER: That's the sneeze guard. You have to lean under it to get food or
sneeze on stuff.
JOHNNY BRAVO: *sigh* The only woman I ever really loved... and she's
gone. I wonder if I'll ever get over - Hey! Nuggets!
JACKIE CHAN: Oh, sorry. I broke your spy camera! (pause) SPY CAMERA?!
My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp