Here it is again. I'm posting it again since I believe yahoo gunked up when I sent out this one, because it hasn't shown up in my mailbox (the first one has, though). Sorry for posting twice, if it is the case, but blame Yahoo! and not me ;)
---------------------------------
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Shopping - Thousands of Stores. Millions of Products.
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: AliV01.txt
-- Desc: AliV01.txt
A legacy in Vain (a BGC/Multiple Vampires/View Askew X-over)
Chapter 1: View Askewed.........
This contains mildly offensive language and mildly adult situations (no lemon, though :-
^). So...reader's discretion is advised.
"Actually, I could go for a hamburger."
Those words brought Leon to precisely where he was at the moment. After Priss and her
friends had seen Sylia off to Germany to visit her brother, they had all decided to go get
something to eat as a group. Much argument had ensued pertaining to where and what
exactly they would eat, until Daley started firing off sarcastic one-liners about the girls'
other choices. However, it did not end there. Linna had vehement opposition to any sort
of fast food place that did not offer a low-fat menu (a girl has got to watch her weight,
after all). This had lead to Nene berating Linna for not enjoying herself more often,
which lead to both Priss and Linna ganging up on Nene about some amount of
centimeters thicker her waist was. Leon and Daley had stood there, like guys usually do
when girls start gawfing on about stuff like that. Eventually they had deciding to go to an
old American chain fast-food store, called "Mooby Burger" or some such nonsense, so
named after some beloved kids television show. Linna had found a small vegetarian shop
to be nutritionally deprived with, and had brought her salad into the burger joint, much to
the owner's chagrin.
So here we have the scene: Priss and Leon are sitting on one side of the sitting area, with
Daley, Linna, and Nene on the other side. And this is when I write some dialogue.
*********************
Leon sat there, fiddling with his napkin. Shortly after receiving their food, Priss had gone
off the the Ladies room to do whatever it is that Ladies do in the ladies room that takes a
half and hour. Depsite ordering separately, and thus not getting the opportunity to pay for
her, they had both ordered the same thing. This made Leon happy, as he thought they
now had some similarity to build a relationship on. Later, he would see if they were at all
compatable, but for now, they would start with a double Mooby burger with extra pickle.
*Tap*
*Tap*
*TapTap*
Damn, what was taking so long? Leon decided to take a cautious sip of his drink. He
hoped that the longer he was able do drag out this meal, the more time he would have to
spend with Priss, and hopefully, ask her out on a real date. He decided to take a sip from
his trough of Coke that comes with the ultra-mooby-size. Unfortunately, the four-star
blockhead at the counter failed to fasten the lid, and Leon ended up with a bad case of
Coke-pants.
This happened right as Priss was coming back to the table. By the Gods, why him? He
frantically dabbed at the spill with the non-absorbency napkins while trying not to look
too terribly bad in front of Priss.
"Here, let me get that for you," Priss said in a sultry voice. Leon was stunned. Had she
really? She had! He was so happy! She started cleaning the pop up, getting closer, closer,
and closer still to Leon's... you know.
"Leon, isn't it about time you... wake up, Leon! Yoo-hoo! Earth to Leon!" Abruptly,
Leon's eyes came into focus onto Priss, who as it turns out, was not mopping him up, but
trying to wake him from daydreamer's island.
"Huh? What do you mean, Priss. I'm as awake as I always am!" Came what Leon hoped
to be a witty reply.
"Not unless your in a coma most of the time. You've just been sittin' there, with this
happy look on your face, until you started turning bright red. Are you all right?" Leon
detected some actual concern in her voice.
"No, I'm fine, just getting ahead of myself, that^�s all." He leaned back in his chair, and
took a bite from his burger. Well, Americans can do one thing right, he thought to
himself. "So, how did you meet Sylia? I doubt that she just happened to go to Hotlegs one
night, and you two hit it off from there."
"And just what is *that* supposed to mean, Leon? Are you saying that she is too good to
hang around me?" Leon froze. This was not going to plan.
"Um, you see is, she just seems so... prude! Yes, that^�s it, prude! Why would someone so
prude and rich and-"
"Don't presume to insult my friends, Leon. I have had enough of you. Good day." She
made like she was going to leave, which made Leon bite harder on that foot he had put in
his mouth so well. Suddenly, she sat down and busted out laughing.
"Geez, Leon, don't be so nervous, I'm not gonna bite ya. Maybe we should invite Daley to
sit with us? Are you sure he wanted to sit with just Nene and Linna? It seems out of
character for him to do that."
"Ummm, quite sure. He seemed adamant that we-I mean he-ate with those two." He
smiled nervously. He did not want to seem contrived about eating with her...
"I suppose I could see Linna and Nene enjoying it though. Daley is the ultimate sex-
symbol of our generation. All the ladies quake for him." He stared at her for one moment,
then they both busted out laughing at the riddiculous comment,
"Oh, your so EVIL, Priss! I didn't know you had it in you."
"Are you kidding? What did you think I did to hecklers when they came to my show?"
"You've got a point."
********************
"Because Leon wants to ask her out." Daley took a sip from his coffee. "Its about time,
too. I was beginning to wonder if Leon-chan actually had any feelings for Priss
whatsoever."
"Seriously. He's been after her since when? How long ago was it?"
Nene piped in, "Gee, it may as well have been since before us Knight Sabbgkrsll!" Nene
found it hard to talk with Linna elbowing her spoon into her face.
"What she means is before the Sabers became more involved with boomer incidents."
Daley took note of this slip-up, but made no sign of it, much to Linna and Nene's relief.
When they had all run into each other (or rather, Leon decided to make their presence
known-that guy sure can seem contrived in his meetings. Who bumps into each other at
the airport?), Daley had decided to use this opportunity to find out what he could about
these girls' alleged "Knight" job. He knew that Priss was one, ever since Leon said it to
him in his sleep when he was banged up after the incident with the particle satellites. He
had his suspicions about Nene, since the Sabers seemed so well informed about boomer
and AD Police movement. Sure, it was more than likely one of the more athletic girls at
the station, but her absences seemed to coincide with Saber activity to be coincidental.
Not to mention her association with Priss...
And, now, here he was, with Nene and this Linna girl he knew nothing about. He was
willing to be his pension she was a saber too. He didn't know for sure, and that is what ate
him up inside. It isn't enough for Daley Wong to have a safe suspicion of something, he
had to KNOW for sure. And along comes this opportunity.
"So, Linna, you must tell me more about yourself. What *do* you do?"
"Well, I *used* to be a stock broker, until the stocks took a dive recently so, now I am
back to my old job." She seemed momentarily regretful, as if she wished she had not
been so foolish with her own money, as well as her clients.
"Which is...?" Daley began.
"I am an aerobics instructor." She stated simply. Daley did happen to notice that she
seemed to beam while saying it though, as if to show off her hard-earned body.
"Aerobics? Like in a gym? Makes me wonder how you met Nene." They both seemed a
bit flustered at that. Daley knew he had them both. Nene would never have met up with
Linna unless they worked with each other... and Linna sure doesn't work for the ADP,
unless he was missing the latest recruitment of hot women detectives.
Daley was going in for the kill. "I'll bet you two did not even know each other until you
hooked up as the Knight Sa-" He was then cut off by something the reader never
expected, and you will have to read on to find out what!
**********************
Priss spared Linna and Nene a glance. They both seemed to get real nervous every couple
of minutes or so. What was Daley talking about, their taste in underwear? She returned
her gaze to Leon, who looked to be passing a gall stone for all the effort he was putting
into not screwing up this conversation.
"So, um, Priss, I was wondering...since you^�re not seeing anyone and neither am I..." He
looked her straight in the eye, and Priss repressed the urge to respond before he finished.
She wanted to hear how he would finally spit it out.
"Would you be adverse to, what I mean to say is........ Would you like to, um..."
"Yes? What is it, Leon?" He took a deep breath, looked to be gathering his wit, and
continued.
"Would you, aw hell! Would you like to go out with-"
"Snootch to the mother-fuckin nootch!" Came the well-worn battle cry of two
delinquents, one large, one skinny. Both looked like gaijuns to her. They sat down with
them without warning, and the skinny one began eating their food while making
cautionary glances to behind her, as well as, she noticed, at her breasts.
"What the hell-!!? Who-what-!?" Leon stuttered out.
"What he means is STOP EATING MY MOOBY BURGER, ASSHOLE!" Priss shouted
at the two. For all their rudeness, they did not seem the least bit effected by any of this,
moreover, they seemed shocked that she was yelling.
"Geez, keep in down, will ya? The damn boys in blue are tryn' to cart me and my Silent
Bob away to a place where the sun don't shine." He stopped checking over his
shoulder...but that only meant he had more time to stare at Priss' breasts. She stuck her
chest out, and Jay leaned over, completely caught up in the moment. Priss took advantage
of his position, and slammed his head down into the table.
Leon took charge, "You two better start explaining yourselves, or I show you who has the
biggest gun in Megatokyo." Leon stared at both of them. Hard. If looks could kill, both
would have been spots on the wall.
"Fuck, well, if you're gonna get all pushy about it," the thin one started, "It all started
when-" He was cut off when the large one hit him in the shoulder. "Oh yeah, first, let me
introduce ourselves. I'm Jay, your all-around general hook-up for the good stuff," he
leaned over to Leon, "You know what I'm talking about..." he sat back again, "and this
tubby reject from Jenny Craig is Silent Bob. He don't say much..."
"I gathered that." Priss stated flatly," But why are you bothering us?"
"Well, that all starts from when this angle dude told us to go out and get a job at the
AdPolice. Now, at first, I'm like 'Fuck that shit, I ain't being no pig!' but he managed to
convince both myself and this colloquial motherfucker right here, so he dumped us here,
in this city. So thens, we're like, 'How do we find the AdPolice?' Then it hits us: we go
around vandalizing advertisments and stuff, and hope they come to arrest us. After they
pick us up, we break out, and apply for a job. Only problem is, when we were all painting
up them signs Jet Grind Radio-like, just the normal police came! What kind of bullshit is
that? Where the hell is the AdPolice?" He sat back, dejected. Silent Bob did his best to
merely look tired.
Leon began thinking...these guys aren't really making any sense. Okay...what if he
thought like them? Maybe then he would be able to figure it out:
'Okay, I'm a stupid American who has no idea what the hell is going on and I smoked
more crack than GW Bush did back in the nineties...' he thought to
himself...'Waitaminute!'
"You guys said 'AdPolice...you wouldn't, by some far stretch of the imagination, mean
the AD police, would you?"
(((((Author's note: I do realize the enormity in which this pun would not work (The
pronouncing of ADPolice as Add Police) in Japanese, but if Rumiko Takahashi can do it,
so can I)))))))
By now, Daley had wandered over, and was understandibly furious over losing his
chance at exposing Lina and Nene. "It^�s a good thing you two are looking for us...because
I'm GOING TO KILL YOU!" Daley completely lost his composure (hey, its gotta happen
eventually, right?) and almost went for the jugular when Leon stopped him.
"Daley...as much as I hate to say it, but they are looking for a job at the ADP, and, right
now, given our staffing problems, we aren't in the position to say no. So, say 'hello' to our
two newest recruits!"
Both Leon, Daley, and Priss really hated their lives right about now.
*********************
Stay tuned for chapter 2, where we get to see how Kain-one of him, at least-is
conforming to his new world!