Konnichiwa, minna!
After a time of not writing nearly atall, I finally decided to write
something.. And it turned out to be a shortfic. Warning to those
Slayers-biased- this is somewhat Zel/Lina biased. Not
completely, though. It's somewhat darkish- although I'm not sure
whether I managed to make dark enough, as I wanted. Unfortunately, I
may have written it badly. Anyway, enough talking, let's get to the
fic! And, oh yes, C&C very much aprreciated.
P.S. To Crimson Flames and Sapphire Eyes: My pen name is the Werekat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dedicated to: My very best friend in the whole of the worlds.
"Never opened myself this way..
...
Trust I seek, and I find in you."
-Metallica, Nothing Else Matters.
Machine
Lina awoke. It took her merely a moment to realize where she
was. Travelling, of course, where else would Lina Inverse be? Lina
grinned to herself at the thought, then wiggled slightly, to see who
was on shift right now. It was Zelgadis- and Lina smiled. The only one
of the group who she could actually talk to!
But now she could see that something was wrong with him. His
back was bent more so than usual, and, at last from the back, he
looked like he had his face buried in his hands.
*Not good.* Lina thought. She got up quietly. Zelgadis didn't seem to notice her.
She came up to him in quiet footsteps. Zelgadis did not seem
to take notice. He did have his face buried in his hands, and he was
whispering something to himself.
"Zel?" She called quietly.
"What is it, Lina?" He answered, not even taking his face away from his hands.
Lina was planning to take him apart because of a bad watch, but...
"I'm keeping watch. I knew it was you from the second your
bedroll moved." He said, as if reading her mind.
"How can you?" Lina asked. Then she grinned. "Or didja listen for my every move?"
"No." He answered. Lina began getting a bit of what was
bothering her. His voice. It was too monotone, even for the
ever-depressed Zelgadis. "It's a standart function."
*Looks like I'm going to have to do this head on..*
"Zel, what's wrong?" Lina asked with a sigh.
He looked towards her. "That is the thing. Nothing is wrong.
You're actually looking at the real me."
"Wha...?" Lina blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"You see, my body was transformed for a fighting machine, Rezo
decided to make my feelings into a machine's as well. He took them away." Zelgadis explained.
"Whoa, Zel, hang on!" Lina protested. "You have feelings,
although sometimes you try to pretend you don't! Believe me!"
"Not quite." Zelgadis shook his head. "I am but a cold,
logical machine. Nothing more. A human persona is needed merely for
interaction." He silenced Lina with a gesture. "Do you remember what I
was like when I captured you? There was a less human persona. It was
that of a commander and warrior, little more, with the exception of
sometimes talking to Zolf and Rodimus."
Lina's sureness began to fade. "So what are you saying..?"
"That right now, you see the core of me." He sighed and looked
away. "The trouble with a human persona, is that it goes into conflict with the System."
"But wait.. I saw tears in your eyes, I saw a lot about you!
If you have no feelings, how can you...?" Lina didn't finish.
"First of all, a human persona has SOME emotions. And those..
I get from the surroundings. And those who surround me." He looked her
in the eye. "I feel through you, Lina Inverse."
"Zel.." For some reason, Lina believed him. Zel wasn't one to
joke often; besides.. Something about his manner of movement...
Speech... Look.. This was not the Zelgadis she knew. And yet, somehow it was.
He continued. "It's fun to fool around time from time. But
other than that.. I don't care for nearly anything in this world."
"Hey, what about US!" Lina nearly shouted, but Zel pressed his finger to her lips.
"Sh. I don't want neither Gourry nor Amelia to hear this.."
"And why not?" She asked stubbornly.
"Amelia's too young.." He began to explain." She'd be too
hurt. Gourry would not understand. You're the only one I can tell, so
that you could tell them if I'm gone." He sighed again, a sigh of
pain. "I'm coming into my more human persona now, because I need it
when I am around you. It got attached to you.. And I, the System,
don't want to lose you either.. Although for more selfish reasons than
friendship. But the Zelgadis you know cares for all of you deeply..Do
you accept what I have told you?"
Lina nodded meekly. "Zel.. What did you mean that you do not care of this world?"
"Hm.. Let's say.. What would you be feeling, if you someday
would have had to cut your own veins.. Of your own free will, too? Commited suicide?"
"I would never do that!" LIna protested.
"I would have. And my last thought and feeling would be.."
Lina shuddered as he spoke the last word. "Finally."
"What about us, still! Would you know that.. That would be
painful to first of all us?!" Lina protested again.
"I'm getting there, You are the only thing..s that hold me
here. If you hadn't come along, I would have been long gone by now. With that same feeling."
"Oh." Lina said. What else COULD she say?
"Do you know why I search for a cure so?" He prodded.
"I thought I did." Lina said quietly.
"My human persona hopes to regain his emotions. Maybe he even
will." And intercepting Lina's question, "Then I will perish. Oh well."
"How can you say that so calmly!?" Lina said, nearly furious
with her friend, but trying to contain herself.
"I told you the reason." He answered, with the same deathly
calm. Then he sighed. "It's near dawn. I have to get into my
human persona completely again. But first.."
"What?" She wondered aloud.
"I'd like to thank you, Lina."
Now that earned him a surprised stare. "What for?"
"You listened." Zelgadis said simply. Then he smiled. "Scared of me now?"
Lina was. But she answered, "No. You're my friend. I trust you."
Now it was the turn for his eyes to widen. "You.. Trust me?"
Lina shrugged. "Yeah."
"How can you trust me after all I've told you?" He asked in wonder.
"I said, we're friends." Lina smiled. "Zel! I've an idea.How
about you get some sleep, and i'll finish your shift! That should give you time."
"Lina..." He said blankly. "You are truly fearless.."
"No problem, Zel! You're still one of MY friends. And believe
me, no matter how frightening you may try to seem, you're still
Zelgadis!" Lina tried to cheer him up. *I gotta do something about this.. Somehow!*
His expression changed to a bitter smirk. "Not quite.. Anyway,
I will take your idea, if you do not mind."
"Had I minded I would not have said it!" Lina smiled. "Go to sleep, Zel. Rest."
He nodded, looking just like a young child for a second. "G'morning to you, Lina."
Then he leaned in, and kissed her on the hair. Before she
could do anything to him, he said quickly, "That is a gesture of
protectiveness where I'm from. Lina.. I need you. And I'll defend you
even if it costs me my life. You know I don't care much for it anyway."
And leaving a dumbfounded Lina wondering whether he had been
talking about her alone or the group in general, Zelgadis got into
his bedroll, and slept a dreamless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Questions? Comments? Dragon Slaves (Free energy to absorb! >~_^<) ?
Anything?
Kat