Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic][SM crossover] A General Time Paradox - Chapter 2
From:
Date: 12/13/2000, 9:52 AM
To: allyn yonge <ayonge@yahoo.com>, xelloss@pp.nic.fi, Nidoking <Matthew.P.Katinas@rose-hulman.edu>, ffml@fanfic.com

Comments on Comments $$



..on comments

agree. For the powers to be

target-specific, is...

utterly stupid, IMO, for their powers were created

BEFORE

the concept of Negaverse existed.



$$That was what I was trying to say. Thanks

for clearing it up. ^_^ HOWEVER, if the author

wants/needs this particular plot point, go

ahead, just add a bit here and there to make

it "feel" more likely.



Agree.



I can't object _too_ much since I had

something similar in chapter 7

of Sukeban Senshi--Senshi v. Aragami.

The Senshi were having trouble fighting

Aragami, not so much because their

powers were ineffective, but because 

1)The Aragami were _very_ tough

True. And the more powerful ones... 

Kusanagi could probably go through

fifty youma before breaking a sweat.

IMO, it was still not a good idea on 

your part to introduce Blue Seed stuff,

because the series is so apocalyptic...





My point is, rather than  a mysterious

"our powers don't work", have  a reason that

follows logically from the rest of the story.

EVEN IF the reader and the Senshi don't know

at that particular moment. Personally I think

it's better if the _reader_ knows just a little bit

more than the characters.

Nodnod.



There are a LOT of reasons.

1)They EAT Crystal Energy

2)They're slightly out of phase with time/space

so the Senshi Attacks pass through/bounce off

When mixin' and turnin' with the energy concepts, 

all the three newbies have quite enough energy.

Ryoko against senshi at this point is overkill, 

only chance they have against Lina, is by surprise, 

and even the "weakest" Ranma can probably take 

on any one of the inners and win, power-wise. 

But there's also the thing...

3)They're FAST!

This one.

OR

4)They're just plain TOUGH!



that too.

Of course this isn't just a simple "my team's tougher than

your's so *bee-da*! situation.



Decide this before you introduce them. THEN, a little

at the time, let the reader and the Senshi, figure

this out.

Good ideas, all around.





So, how would YOU describe a situation where someone

would sweat-drop or face-fault?





$$I'm glad you asked that.



1) Sweatdrop:



	A red-tide of mortification  crept up Nabiki's neck

as she realized Akane had found her secret stash of

Hello Kitty's Greatest Hits CD collection.



Ooh!



OR



	"You BASTARD!" A vein bulged in her forehead

as, shaking with rage, she turned on her enemy. "You

ate it

ALL?!" With a tortured scream of electrons

Tsukino Shingo vanished in a flash of silver light, an

empty

carton of Rocky Road, falling from his non-existent

hands.



Aah!





$$I'm showing various emotions, anger or embarrassment

in 

this case. 



$$Facefault:

{well, IMO, this indicates surprise or shock, looking

at the Anime}



	Ranma's jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out like a 

tromped-on-piglet as Kasumi swayed seductively toward

him,

wearing only what God had given her at birth. Mt. Fuji

had

somehow lodged itself in his throat and he swallowed

hard, 

realizing that God did _good_ work.



	"Ranma," she purred in a furry alto that tickled him

down deep in his tummy, "do you like what you see?"



	"Do I!" he reached past her and snatched

a newspaper out of her hand. "They've just released

a digitally re-mastered copy of ^�Drunken Master II'!"



	Ranma vanished in a tiny pop of imploding air.

"Akane! Ryogua! C'mon . . .you guys gotta' see this!"



	Kasumi remained frozen in mid step, where

Nabiki found her three hours later, motionless except

for the violent twitching of her left eye.



I'm cutnpasting these for future reference, you know...





@@TV: "Come on down to Powers-R-Us! All this week,

Hyper-Beam-Destructo-Ray, only 9999.95 Yen. And to

the

first one hundred customers . . .A brand new

Magical

Girl 

Theme Song by Mayo Okamoto!"



But Sailor Moon's original transformation sequence

has 

a groovy tune!



$$Yes, BUT if you buy a power-up they throw in

a free song. ^_^ (It's a promotional gimmick. Mayo

hasn't

had a real hit since she got married and had a baby.)



Aiya! Such blow to drooling otaku fanboy wet dreams!









<SNIP>

@@RYOKO: "Why don't we just kill everyone

at both those schools??



BERYL: "You FOOL! That would reveal our presence

to

the humans."



RYOKO: "Yeah, but the only ones who can stop you

would be dead."

Hey, it IS canon that QB is both insane and stupid.

Of course, it could be theorized that it was the 

remaining good in her fighting against what she 

had become, and she subconsciously fought against

her proclaimed goals... Hmm... there's a fic there

to 

be written...



$$Actually Beryl is Usagi, fleeing through time

to escape Pluto, bent on re-shaping the world in

her image. She's injured and loses her memory,

ending up leading a rebellion to try and get back

to the Moon, even though she doesn't know why.



Did I mention I was working on yet another SM story?

(Not soon though. Sukeban is taking a lot of time)



Ooh.

off-topic, I always thought Ultimecia in FF8 was some

alt-uni future incarnation of Rinoa...





$$That's a point, certainly. However

the biggest problem, IMO, was a certain

lack of detail and some forced or

contrived plot continuity. This is

Mebbe...



especially Ranma. I'd also like

a little more "friction", some

dynamic tension. Things seem

to be proceeding too smoothly.

There are some BIG problems, the

Senshi having trouble beating

the "monster-of-the-week" (AKA

Ranma, Lina, Ryoko) for

example. But I like

to see more _little_ details

that flesh things out.

I guess I have to agree.



Ranma of course, worrying about Akane

but also having come conflict about

killing an innocent to save her.

Some more detail on the thoughts

and fears and hopes of the other characters

would be good.

Don't be in such a rush to get

from Point-A to Point-B. ^_^

Didn't think about it, but now we have 

Ranma together with two, count *two*

females with

a)explosive, hair trigger temperaments

b)enough personal destructive power to 

take out 1)planets

             2)solar systems

             3)galaxies.

Hmm..

 .o|

question!

Does Ryoko have all three gems?







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