Someone wrote a Maya in Wonderland fic once before, but it was a one page
affair based on the clamp Manga.
I've been working on this off-and-on for months. I'm glad to finaly be done
with it.
Maya in wonderland (an excercise in lunacy)
By Douglas Whiddon
(With apologies to Lewis Carrol and Gainex)
Maya was running late for work and all of Tokyo-3 seemed to
be against her; she missed her train and a problem with the tracks made
it the last one for awhile, the deluge of commuters made it impossible to
get a cab so she was literally running to work.
^�I^�M LATE! GET OUT OF MY WAY I^�M LATE!!!!^�
Maya wasn^�t the one screaming, she turned to see who it was
and got the shock of her young life; Rei Ayanami was coming up behind
her on a pair of roller blades. What was even more shocking than the
roller blades or the uncharacteristic yelling was the fact that she was
wearing a black one-piece bathing suit with a cotton tail on the back
and a pair of bunny ears.
Maya was so shocked she stopped to stare, at which point Rei
collided with her and they both fell down an open manhole.(1)
Maya fell, screaming, through the darkness. She clutched Rei,
who was also screaming. After several very long seconds they both
stopped screaming.
^�Shouldn^�t we have hit bottom by now?^� Maya asked.(2)
At which point, because there are forces even stronger than
gravity,(3) they hit bottom. They landed on soft grass. Not what one
expected to land on in a sewer, Maya stood up and brushed off her
dress... wait a minute, she thought. I wasn^�t wearing a dress. She
looked down at herself; she was indeed wearing a dress. A blue dress
with a white apron, white stockings, and shiny black shoes. ^�I look like
a British school girl.^� she said to no one in particular.(4)
^�They don^�t wear crotchless panties.^�(5)
Maya lifted her skirt and looked down; sure enough, her panties
had zero crotch, the tuft of brown hair at her cleft was completely
uncovered. Maya put her skirt back down with an ^�eep^�
Wait a minute, who said that? Maya looked around. She was
alone as far as the eye could see, stranded in a an endless sea of grass.
^�Who said that?^�
^�Up here, dear.^�
Maya looked up, into the cartoon face of the sun. The sun
winked at her and produced a pair of sunglasses from somewhere.(6)
^�Uhm, hi.^� Maya waved. ^�Do you know how I can get back
home?^�
^�You can^�t go back from here, you^�ll have to go forward first.^�
Maya sighed. ^�All right, which way?^�
^�Try the door.^� The sun pointed back over Maya^�s shoulder
and then turned its face away from her.
^�But, there^�s no door there!^� She turned to point in the direction
that there was not a door, and saw a door.(7)
Maya opened the door and walked through. She found herself
in a round room with a checkered floor. The room had ten doors along
the wall. The door she had come through slammed shut with a finality
that indicated that it would not soon be opening again.
Maya examined each of the other nine doors. She felt like
Alice. Way too much like Alice. She had read ^�Alice in Wonderland^�
and seen more than one film version, so she had a pretty good idea of
what to expect. But unfortunately for her, this world wasn^�t playing fair.
None of the doors where covered in a curtain, and none where very
small. In fact, each of the ten doors was identical, she no longer had any
idea which one she had come through.
She tried to open each door, none would budge. ^�This is stupid,
what am I supposed to do now?^� She took a step back to look up
through the window that should be in the ceiling and bumped into a
glass table. She turned to look at the table, the key was there, as it
should be, but it wasn^�t a small key, it was three inched long and the
loop on the end was heart shaped.
^�Well now, which door will you open?^�
She tried each door again. The key fit half of them but would
not open, and just plain would not go in the others.
Maya sighed, ^�now what?^� At that moment her foot bumped
something. She bent down and picked up the something. It was a small
glass case, shaped like a compact. She opened it and found a chocolate
chip cookie. The cookie did not say ^�Eat me^�, cookies after all, usually
do not speak. All the chocolate chips where placed in a ring on the
outer edge of the cookie.(8)
In the book, Maya remembered, Alice ate the cookies to get
bigger after she had drunk the liquid which made her shrink. There was
no small door to go through, so she didn^�t need to drink the drink which
hadn^�t shown up anyway, and she had the key in her pocket so she
didn^�t need to eat the cookie. But on the other hand she wanted to get
out of the room and no other opportunity to move the plot forward had
presented itself, and she loved choclate chips. So she bit the cookie.
Alice grew until she filled the room. Maya grew until she
overfilled her bra. She went from the low end of the C cup, to the
Extreme end of the D cup.
^�Oh dear.^� Maya felt her chest to verify that they had grown.
They had, both in size and in sensitivity. The light brush of her own hand
across her chest caused her newly enlarged nipples to poke holes in the
dress.
Maya was glad she wasn^�t wearing heels, she would have
toppled over. ^�Great, I^�m still stuck in this stupid room and now I^�m
built like a porn star.^�
She took a few steps, the boobs bobbed like Jell-O. ^�How do
they do it?^�
^�Porn stars? Every way there is, I^�m sure.^�
Maya spun around, an act she quickly regretted as her tits
wobbled back and forth. Rei was standing in the doorway of one of the
doors, which was now open.
^�Rei?^�
Rei^�s grimaced slightly. ^�Who?^�
^�Aren^�t you Rei Ayanami?^�
Rei shook her head, ^�No, I^�m Bunny. They call me that
because I like to go at it like a bunny.^�
Maya looked at the ears, and the tail. ^�Is that the only reason?^�
^�Why else would they call me Bunny?^�
Maya, wisely did not comment.(9) ^�Can you tell me how to get
back to my world?^�
^�What^�s in it for me?^�
^�What do you want? I don^�t have anything to trade.^�
Bunny grinned. ^�If I wasn^�t late right now I^�d let you work it off
with your body, but I am late, so I^�ll tell you what. You give me that
cookie and your panties and I^�ll tell you who does know how to get out
of this world.^�
Maya stared at Bunny. The cookie was no problem, she wasn^�t
taking another bite. But, her PANTIES? Was everyone here horny and
strange?
A slight breeze blew in the door and up Maya^�s skirt, reminding
her that her panties weren^�t actually covering anything.
^�Deal.^� Maya handed the cookie to Bunny, then she reached up
under her skirt and hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her
panties.
^�Uh uh uh!^� Bunny waved her finger in front of Maya. ^�I get to
take them off.^�
Maya sighed. This world was frustrating. ^�All right.^�
^�Turn around and bend over. Maya obeyed. Bunny flipped up
her skirt and slowly slipped the panties off. Much more slowly than was
required. As Maya straitened up and her skirt fell back to cover her
butt she felt a finger slide between the lips of her sex.
^�HEY!^� She spun, again regretting it, to face Bunny. Bunny was
grinning and sucking on her finger.
She smiled at Maya. ^�The queen can tell you how to get home.
She knows everything here.^� And then she was gone.
Maya put the cookie fragment in her pocket and followed
Bunny.
The door led out to a sunny garden. A hedge maze was visible
in the garden and trees and grass where everywhere.
Maya looked around. ^�If this is Wonderland, then next I^�m
supposed to meet Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. She looked around
some more and noticed Gendo and Fyuutski wandering hand-in-hand
among the trees
Maya giggled. ^�The casting seems apt. But I think I^�ll avoid that
encounter all together.^� She went off in the opposite direction in search
of the Bunny^�s house, which was the next place Alice wound up.
Maya trudged through the garden until she came to a small
cottage on the edge of a forest. Next to the cottage was a vegetable
garden, in which appeared to be nothing but carrots.
^�I^�M LATE! GET OUT OF THE WAY I^�M LATE!^�
Bunny came barreling out of the garden and up the path,
knocking Maya down on the way. They both landed on the path to the
cottage, Maya on her rear and Bunny on Maya^�s boobs.
Maya tried to sit up, but found she couldn^�t as Bunny hadn^�t.
The bunny was fondling her bust, which Maya was starting to enjoy.
^�HEY!^� Maya yelled.
Bunny looked up at her.
^�Yes?^� She asked.
^�Aren^�t you late for something?^�
^�Oh, yeah.^� Bunny stood up and brushed off her outfit. ^�Let^�s
see...^� Bunny started to pat her pockets. ^�Oh, dear. Where is my
watch!^� She got down on her knees and started to search the grass.
Maya stood by and watched her.
Bunny looked up at Maya. ^�While I^�m looking for my watch
could you run inside and fetch my gloves off the table?^�
^�Sure, I guess.^�
Bunny^�s house was a one room cottage with a kitchen in the
back, a bed against one wall and a couch and chairs in front of the
fireplace. It was also a huge mess, (10) clothing was lying everywhere,
and none of it looked like it would fit Bunny. Some of it was guys
clothes and some was girls clothes.
A groan came from the bed, Maya went to see who made the
noise. She pulled back the sheet to find Kensuka, who looked hung
over. He grabbed the sheet from her and pulled it back over his eyes.
^�Go away.^� He mumbled.
Maya grunted, ^�Well if that^�s the way you want it.^�
She turned around and saw Touji and Hikari curled up in front
of the fire, both naked.
^�Well, that explains the clothing. I^�m sorry I missed the party.^�
She spotted the gloves on the couch and picked them up.
Maya gave the gloves the to Bunny who was outside winding
her watch. Bunny snatched the gloves and was off.
^�Now what?^� said Maya. She thought about Alice some more.
Alice found a potion in the Rabbit^�s house that made her grow. Maya
walked back into the house, on the table was a small bottle of red
liquid, just like in the book. Maya picked up the bottle and headed out
the back door and into the woods.
Maya eyed the bottle cautiously, in the book the liquid made
Alice grow huge; Maya was already huge, and not in a way she liked.
Maybe here this stuff would make her breasts shrink. She took a small
sip, the liquid was sweet. She took another sip, and then a gulp. A few
sips later she was giggling and walking erratically. The liquid was liquor
and was going straight to her head.
Maya was getting tipsy and so didn^�t notice that the forest
wasn^�t made up of trees, but rather huge blades of grass, flowers and
other weeds.
Soon Maya came to a clearing where she found Hyuga lying on
a psychedelic couch and smoking from a long hose that disappeared
behind the couch.
Maya leaned over him, he was very out of it. ^�Hello?^� No
response. ^�Do you know where I can find the queen?^� She slurred.
Hyuga shifted his eyes a bit. ^�Those are some huge tits^�
Maya giggled and hiccuped.
^�You^�re looking for the queen?^�
Maya nodded.
^�Can^�t help you. Anything else I can do for you?^�
Maya sighed, ^�Not unless you know something that will get rid
of these.^� Maya pointed at her breasts.(11)
^�Well, actually, I do.^�
Maya smiled. ^�Really?^�
^�Sure, give me a sec.^� He leaned over the couch and fiddled
around for sometime, the smoke coming from behind the couch
changed color.
^�Sit here and suck on this.^�
Maya took the tube and took a small puff. The taste was rich
and exotic. Maya took a longer puff and settled onto the couch.
^�And while you^�re sucking on that, I^�ll...^� Hyuga lifted Maya^�s
skirt and disappeared underneath. ^�suck on this.^�
Between the alcohol, whatever she was smoking and the oral
sex she was getting, Maya was soon in a state of pure bliss.
Hyuga-caterpillar^�s skill at giving head was more than adequate and
brought Maya over the edge a couple of times. Afterwards she drifted
off to sleep.
Maya wasn^�t sure how long she had been asleep when she
awoke. The sun hadn^�t moved, but then again, it hadn^�t moved since
she got to Wonderland.(12) Hyuga was long gone, as was whatever
made the smoke, only the couch remained. Maya stood up and took
stock of herself. The breasts, as promised where gone, but she has
overdone it a bit and now resembled a 14 year old boy.(13) ^�Shit.^�
Was Maya^�s only comment at realizing she was now completely flat
chested. If only she had kept a little piece of the cookie. Maya stuck
her hands in her pockets and considered her next move, Leaving the
forest would be a logical next step. Maya took a step, something
clinked under her skirt. This worried Maya, nothing under her skirt
should clink. She raised her skirt and took a look.
She found that she was now wearing a chastity belt with a
sizable padlock. It wasn^�t an authentic chastity belt, but rather like a
pair of steel panties.(14) It would make things difficult when she needed
to use the bathroom. Plus the chinking sound it made as she walked
was annoying.
As she walked she put her hands back into her pockets and felt
something rough at the bottom, cookie crumbs! Maya collected the
crumbs and swallowed them, they had the desired effect of returning her
bust to it^�s previous dimensions.
After some time Maya came to a break in the woods. Ahead of
her were more trees and a path through the forest. She looked back the
way she came and saw that the forest she had been walking through
was gone, between her and Bunny^�s house was only a grassy field.
Maya looked at the woods before her again. It was as if she had shrunk
down when she left Bunny^�s house, and only regained her height when
she had crossed the field. But at that scale it should have taken days to
cross the field. Obviously physics were multiple choice in this place.
Maya followed the path into the woods until she came to a fork
in the road. A signpost stood between the paths; one arm pointed to the
left and said: This way. The other pointed to the right and said: That
way.(15)
^�Great, which way?^�
^�Well, some go this way...^�
Maya turned to see who had said that. There was no one
behind her.
^�...And some go that way.^�
Maya looked up. Asuka was in the tree next to her, curled up
on a branch. She was wearing a yellow, tiger striped bathing suit with a
tail attached, had cat ears coming out of the top of her head.
Maya smirked. ^�Let me guess, you^�re supposed to be the
Cheshire Cat, right?^�
^�Meyow.^� Said Cheshire-Asuka.
^�Can you talk?^�
^�Of course.^� Cheshire-Asuka smiled.
^�Can you disappear one piece at a time, with your smile being
the last?^�
^�Don^�t be ridiculous. But, I can disappear, and do this.^�
Cheshire-Asuka pointed a clawed finger at Maya.
Maya^�s clothes disappeared in a flash, leaving her only in the
chastity belt. Maya ^�eeked^� and put her hands on her chest. ^�Give me
back my clothes!^�
Cheshire-Asuka grinned. ^�Nope.^�
^�Dammit, furball, give me back my clothes!^�
Cheshire-Asuka grinned larger ^�If you do something for me, I^�ll
give them back. Okay?^�
Maya sighed. ^�All right. What do you want me to do?^�
Cheshire-Asuka scrambled down the tree and sat down in front
of Maya. Cheshire-Asuka^�s bikini disappeared and she spread her legs.
^�Make me happy.^�
Maya froze. Was this whole world full of perverts?(16)
^�Yes. Now do as you^�re told.^�
^�Yes, what?^�
^�Yes, this whole world is full of perverts. You^�re a pervert too.^�
^�I am not, and I didn^�t say anything about perverts.^�
^�You didn^�t have to, it was written all over your face. And yes
you are a pervert, everyone here is a pervert, and you^�re here, so you
must be a pervert.^�
^�That doesn^�t make sense.^�
^�Do you want your clothes back, or not?^� Cheshire-Asuka
pointed at her crotch.
Maya gave up. She settled in between Cheshire-Asuka^�s legs
and went to work. Cheshire-Asuka wanted Maya to make her happy,
then Maya would. But she would spend an hour or so begging for it
first.
Since being introduced to the sport in college, Maya was a
champion muff-diver. If it was added to the Olympics she would be a
gold medalist.(17)
Maya started at the thighs. She started with soft touches and
kisses there and slowly moved in. She tried to put out of her mind the
fact that she was performing oral sex on a girl under the age of consent.
But then again, this couldn^�t possibly be real.
Maya went slow, kissing, sucking, biting, occasionally using
fingers, sometimes her whole hand. Judging by the sounds
Cheshire-Asuka was making she was succeeding in her mission.
Maya stopped after Cheshire-Asuka came down from her tenth
orgasm. She sat back on her heels and licked her fingers.
^�Now, give me back my clothes.^�
Cheshire-Asuka raised her hand and pointed at Maya. Maya^�s
clothes reappeared the same way they had vanished.
Maya stood to go, smoothing her skirt and composing herself.
^�I don^�t suppose you could get rid of this for me?^� Maya lifted her skirt.
Cheshire-Asuka sat up and stretched. ^�Nope. You need a key
to get rid of that.^�
^�Key? Of course!^� Maya rooted around in her skirt. ^�Key.
Key. Key. I had a key, where did it go?^�
Cheshire-Asuka held up the tiny key. ^�You mean this?^�
Cheshire-Asuka held up the key Maya found at the beginning.
^�That^�s mine, give it back please.^� Maya held out her hand.
Cheshire-Asuka smiled like the proverbial cat. ^�I^�ll give it back
if you make me happy.^�
Maya threw up her hands exasperation. And then got back to
work.(18)
The key didn^�t fit. Maya all but screamed in frustration.
Cheshire-Asuka disappeared with a laugh.
^�I^�ve read ^�Alice In Wonderland^� and there were no chastity
belts involved.^� Maya grumbled.(19)
Another hour or so of walking brought her to a clearing in the
forest. In the middle of the clearing was a big brass bed under a
parachute canopy.(20)
Sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but a top hat with a condom
stuck in the band, was Misato. Sitting on the opposite side of the bed,
smoking a cigarette, was Kaji. He had that ^�cat who screwed the
canary^� look.
^�Uhm, excuse me?^�
Misato looked over at Maya. ^�What do you want?^�
^�I^�m trying to get out of this crazy place.^�
^�Sorry, can^�t help. But you can climb up here and join us if you
want.^�
^�Uh, not today, thanks.^�
^�Squaaak!^� Pen-pen popped up from the far side of the bed.
Misato scratched him under the beak.
^�Not exactly a tea party.^� Maya said to herself as she walked
off.(21)
Maya continued along the forest path. Her feet didn^�t hurt, she
wasn^�t hungry or tired. If anything the only physical sensation she had
felt since arriving here was arousal. (22)
Maya pushed these thoughts aside as she came out of the forest
and into a beautiful garden. As expected there where maids painting red
roses white. Maya walked closer. She saw that each and every one of
the maids was a Rei clone. And each one of them was wearing nothing
but an apron.
Maya walked in amongst them and took a moment to admire all
the supple, youthful, flesh around her.
^�What are you doing?^�
One of the Rei^�s looked up at her. ^�We^�re painting the roses.^�
^�Why?^�
^�The queen likes red roses.^�
Maya frowned. ^�So why are you painting them white?^�
Every single Rei looked towards Maya and, as one, in the most
saccharine sweet tone imaginable said, ^�So she^�ll punish us.^�
Maya stood agog as the Rei^�s went back to painting. Maya^�s
weird-o-meter, which had been going further and further to the ^�weird^�
side, had just pegged. Nothing that happened after that could be more
weird.(23)
Maya passed through the garden and into a hedge maze. She
wandered awhile until she was hopelessly lost. She tried to work her
way back to the beginning and only made things worse. She wandered
aimlessly until she came across Shinji and a couple of the Rei-maids.
There was a wheelbarrow and various gardening tools scattered around
and one of the Rei^�s was shoveling fertilizer around the base of one of
the hedge bushes.
The other Rei and Shinji were plowing. At least they where
doing something that could euphemistically be referred to as plowing.
The Rei doing the shoveling occasionally glared at her ^�sister^�.
Maya waited politely until they finished. The voyeuristic part of
Maya enjoyed the show, particularly the way Shinji would clench his
butt cheeks on each downward stroke, and based on the sound she
was making, Rei seemed to be enjoying it from the other end.
When it was over Rei straightened her apron and Shinji pulled
up his pants and they both went back to gardening.
^�Do you know the way out of the maze?^�
Shinji and the Rei^�s looked up at her.
^�Of course.^� Shinji said. ^�just go straight that way..^� He pointed
to the left of himself, ^�Then a right and then two lefts and another right
and a left and another right and straight past the next two rights and
three lefts and then another right and two more lefts and a right and past
the next left and then a right you can^�t miss it.^�
Maya^�s head spun. ^�I^�m sorry, that^�s too complicated, do you
think one of you could take me there?^�
Shinji pushed one of the Rei^�s, the one he had just been with,
towards Maya. ^�She^�ll help, won^�t you?^� He smiled at the Rei, who
took Maya by the hand and led her along the path.
After awhile they exited the maze. Right where Maya had come
in, A dozen or so Rei^�s where still painting roses. Before Rei could
vanish back into the maze Maya grabbed her by the wrist.
^�I meant that I wanted to get to the OTHER side of the maze,
where the palace is.^�
^�You should have said so.^�
^�Will you please take me to the other side?^�
Rei tilted her head and regarded Maya with a curious
expression. ^�What^�s in it for me.^�
Maya resisted the urge to groan. ^�What would you like?^� head,
probably.
Rei^�s gaze drift up and down Maya. ^�Your dress.^�
^�What?^�
^�I want your clothes.^�
Maya looked down, it was a plain dress, not very interesting.
But then again, all the Rei^�s only wore aprons.
^�All right.^� It^�s not like any of this is real.
Maya slipped out of the dress and handed it to Rei.
^�Those too.^� Rei pointed at Maya^�s stockings and bra.
Maya handed those over as well. Rei gave Maya her apron and
put on the dress.
^�This way.^�
Rei led Maya through the maze, past the other Rei who was
taking her turn under Shinji. It was a wonder they ever got any work
done. Maya wondered briefly if he got his pick of Rei^�s or did he work
with the same two all the time. And could her tell them apart?
Rei led Maya to the castle on the other side of the maze. Maya
stared at the castle, it wasn^�t a typical Europeon castle. It was a modern
mansion with a manicured lawn and a huge swimming pool.
Gathered around the pool and over the lawn where a couple of
dozen people. Many Maya knew. Misato was there, sunning herself by
the pool, wearing nothing but her hat. Hyuga was there, along with
watever he had been smoking. Several Reil milled about serving drinks,
Cheshire-Asuka was there, avoiding the pool. Kensuka, Hikari, and
Touji were there in swim suits. Dress seemed to range from casual to
none at all.
Maya aproached the party, keeping an eye out for the queen.
The apron she wore seemed like a cloak of invisibility, no one here
would spare a maid a first glance, let alone a second.
That is until.... Something popped against Maya steel covered
butt hard enough to make her jump. Maya spun around, to give
whoever it was a piece of her mind, only to be confronted by the queen.
The queen turned out to be Ritsuko.(24)
Maya drooled at the sight before her. Ritsuko was dressed to
the nines in an ensemble straight out of the Trashy Linegerie
catalog.(25) From the bottom up: White stileto heels, white fishnet
stockings, a little tiny bit of white cloth that only qualified as panties by
default, white garter belt, white leather bustiar, long white gloves, and a
white lab coat over it all. And everything she was wearing had little red
hearts everywhere. She was also holding a riding whip and tapping it
rythmicly against her palm. Basically, it was the outfit Maya had bought
her for her birthday.(26)
Ritsuko eyed Maya apreciativly. ^�I haven^�t seen you around
before.^�
Maya gulped. ^�I^�m not actually from around here. I^�m trying to
get out of this world. And get this off.^� Maya pulled her apron aside to
show off the belt.
Ritsuko looked closely at the chastity belt. ^�Hey, that^�s mine!^�
Maya facefaulted.
From the pocket of her lab coat Ritsuko produced a white
collar with a bell on it and a leash. Before Maya could protest she found
her apron on the floor and the collar around her neck.
^�I want you to pretend to be a kitty cat for me, okay?^�
^�Hey! That^�s my job!^� Cheshire-Asuka apeared out of
nowhere.
^�Hush, girl. Go away.^� Cheshire-Asuka slinked away, fuming.
Ritsuko turned back to Maya, ^�Come with me.^� Maya had no choice
but to follow, since Ritsuko clipped the leash onto the collar.
Maya was led past the party, where she drew many apreciative
stares, and into the mansion.
Following Ritsuko up the stairs would have been a more
enjoyable experience if the lab coat didn^�t block her view.
The queens chamber was straight out of a 60^�s porno
nightmare. Shag carpeting, lava lamps, round rotating bed, and
everything had some sort of heart motife.
Ritsuko led Maya to the bed and pushed her down. Then she
rumaged around in a drawer until she produced a key. The lock on the
chastity belt snapped open almost as soon as the key touched it.
Ritsuko removed the belt and put it away in the drawer. Then she
turned back to Maya. Her gaze was hungry. She pulled Maya close to
her and kissed her hard. Her hands roamed down Maya^�s torso
towards...
The alarm clock on Maya^�s bedside table went off with a clang.
Maya reached out and slapped the offending device accross the room.
^�Dammit! Just when it was getting good!^�
THE END.
(Please don^�t kill me.)
(1) Those are always around when you aren^�t looking.
(2) The Bill & Ted lawyers are on the phone.
(3) Irony, for example.
(4) Except herself, of course
(5) At least, we assume they don^�t
(6) a pat on the head if you can name the refernce
(7) never argue with a celestial body
(8) think of birth control pills. Now stop.
(9) That is, on the ears and tail
(10) Housekeeping is not noted as a rabbit skill.
(11) other than surgery, that is.
(12) except when it pointed at the door.
(13) Shinji, for example
(14) a real chastity belt is like a steel g-string with a knife, to
inconvience suitors.
For this one, check out ^�Robin-Hood: Men in tights^�
(15) The sign painters union had gone on strike the week it was put up
(16) Yes
(17)And the ratings would take a huge jump.
(18) Ah, sweet torture.
(19) Not in the final draft, anyway.
(20) What were you expecting? A banquet table?
(21) Actually, tea was served. Misato poured it in her navel and Kaji
drank.
(22) my spell checker couldn^�t handle Horniness.
(23) any one not associated with Nerv would have pegged long ago.
Dealing with Angels and giant robots that need extension cords kinda
raises the bar.
(24) Bet that was a big surprise. Huh?
(25) Yes, there is a place called Trashy Lingerie. It^�s on Rodeo drive in
Hollywood, and you have to make a reservation to get in
(26) But never got the courage to give to her.
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omne ignotum pro magnifico
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