Greetings... I seem to be at a stall point... If YOU

had a question (any question) that YOU could ask Ranma,

what would it be?  I have seen many of these "twenty

question" interviews in Martial Arts Mags(and Playboy)

ANY c&c would be appreciated.



QSK







Twenty Questions (With the Worlds Greatest Martial Artist)

An Interview with Saotome Ranma.

Interview by: Miamato Kaori





Interviewers Notes: When I accepted this assignment it was

with more than a little trepidation. I was going to interview

a living legend. Everyone in Neo-Tokyo has heard his name at

one time or another. Ask almost any school-aged boy^� He would

more than likely be able to rattle off every one of Master

Saotomes famous battles and ^�special^� moves.  This assignment

was also accepted with more than a little incredulity. A

Martial Arts Master who was going to be 450 years old in

thirteen days? This is the year 2416 for the Kami^�s sakes.



Yes, it^�s true that lives are longer these days. With the

increase in technology in the last one hundred years, we

have made more increases in science and biology than we

had in two thousand before. Now I was going to be talking

to a man who had (supposedly) seen all of these advances

first hand. A man who had (If his age was correct) lived

while the world reeled from the Second American Revolution

and the destruction of Central Europe. Was I even going to

be able to reach a frame of reference and be able to converse

with such a person? Time would tell...



I sat waiting at a small restaurant in a sub-prefecture of

Neo-Tokyo still referred to by its inhabitants as ^�Nerima^�.

Grand Master Saotome had picked the location and I had made

sure I was early^� I am not sure exactly what I was expecting

but I was NOT expecting the lithe, 30 something man who

walked in the door. He was tall and handsome, A head full of

black hair tied into a pigtail and a pair of the most

shockingly blue eyes I have ever seen.



    He came directly to the table I was sitting at and

introduced himself. I must admit to be completely flabbergasted.





Saotome Ranma: (Smiling) ^�You might want to close your mouth...

I don^�t see any flies, but one shouldn^�t take some chances.^�



Miamato Kaori: (Stammering) ^�But, but, but^�^�



SR: (*Sigh*) ^�Okay, this one is the freebie^� (Muttering)

^�It always is... Yes, I AM Saotome Ranma. The ^�Wild Horse^�,

The Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts,

Adopted Son of the Amazon^�s of China, etc. etc. etc. I am

four hundred and forty-nine years old, and will be four

fifty in some^�^� (Leans back and looks up at the ceiling)

^�thirteen days.^�



^�You can call me Ranma^�^�





1MK: (Having difficulty getting composure back) ^�Uhmm^� Okay^�

Uhmm^� So, what is it like to be that old?^� (Not the best

question I have ever come up with, but YOU try it after

such a shock.)



SR: ^�It^�s not to bad once I got over the sadness of being

condemned to live.^�



2MK: ^�Huh? I don^�t understand, condemned to live? What do

you mean?^�



SR: (Looking, in his eyes anyway, every bit of his supposed

age.) ^�I meant what I said^� Look, I know EXACTLY why Cologne

was such a cranky old bitch and why Happosai was a hentai,

and didn^�t care who knew. They were tired. They were old.

You^�ve heard of Cologne and Happy haven^�t you? Of course you

have. You musta read up on me..." (Leaning forward with a somber

look on his face) ^�Can you imagine what it is like to outlive

everyone you ever cared for? To watch as your loved ones grow

old and die, or just die? I don^�t have to imagine it^� I live it.^�





3MK: (Attempting to regain her mental feet) ^�But, according to

all accounts, Master Happosai and Elder Cologne were, well^�

They looked their age. They appeared ancient. You look like

you are in your thirties^� How?^�



SR: (Sitting back in his seat) ^�I have come up with two

theories, which, when I combine them give me the only answer

I have to give you.

        Number one: I use my Chi better than either one of

them ever did. I^�m not bragging. At the age of seventeen I

could do more different kinds of Chi attacks than Cologne or

Happy put together. Cologne almost never did any Chi attacks

by the time I met her. Sure, she knew all of the attacks but

other than using her Chi to boost her speed she seldom used

them. I figured that almost all of her Chi went into

preserving her health, which had to be failing by the time I

met her. Happosai^� He was damn near a Chi vampire.^� (Saotome^�s

face gets more animated at this time.) ^�He was always groping

girls and playing with their underwear. What he was doing was

using the residual Chi left in their underclothes to recharge

his own Chi. Direct contact was better of course, but no

girls ^�I^� can think of would want him to fondle them. I have

always been really good at using my Chi. For some reason I have

more than a normal share of Chi, and able to use the Ki ambient

in the area that I am in.^�



4MK: (Slightly confused) ^�Uhmmm^� Okay^�. I think I followed that.

What^�s the second theory?^�



SR: (Looking sheepish) ^�Well^�Uhmmm^�^� (Reaches up and scratches

the back of his head) ^�Okay, everyone knows I turn into a girl

when I get splashed with cold water. Well, what I figure is

that the guide didn^�t give me the full name of the pool I fell

into. I figure the right name shoulda been ^�Spring of Drowned

Young Girl^�. When I get wet now I turn into a girl who looks

all of 25. ^�She^� looked about 16 when I first fell into the pool.

So^� going by that^� I figure that ^�she^� ages about 1 year for

every fifty regular years. And her stunted aging has affected

mine.^� (He leans back farther in his seat) ^�It^�s also possible

that when I ^�picked up^� the curse that I call ^�Ranko^� that I

not only got her form I got her Chi^�That would give me twice

a normal persons Chi.^�





5MK: (Counting on her fingers) ^�That^�s three theories^� not two.^�





SR: (Looking up suddenly with a grin) ^�Huh? Oh, yea^� guess it

is^�^� Heh-heh-heh^�^� (Rubs the back of his neck with his hand)





6MK: "Could your having the ^�Cat Fist^� also account for some of

your abilities with Chi?"





SR: (A flat stare is directed at me^�) ^�Next question^� And that

one counts towards the total^�^�





7MK: (I shivered at the stare. The full attention of Grand

Master Saotome is no little thing, I had discovered. After a

moment to compose myself I finally got on some sort of mental

even-ground) ^�Alright, so^� you really are four hundred and

forty-nine years old.  How many times have you been married?





SR: (Face becoming serious) ^�Not as many times as I have been

asked, and more times than I should have.^�





8MK: "Would you mind expanding on that?"





SR: ^�No.^� (His face turns hard for a moment and then softens)

^�Maybe I should.^� (He leans forward, putting his elbows on his

knees) ^�For some reason I have been a fianc�e magnet for my

entire life.^� (Muttering) ^�Mostly due to my old man...^� (Out

loud again) ^�Anyway, I have been chased, coerced, hounded,

forcebly engaged, bribed, and otherwise enticed into becoming

engaged. Very seldom was I ever given a choice. And when I

was, it always seemed to be a choice between two evils.^�

(Ranma^�s eyes grew reflective) ^�Abusive women, getting drugged,

magical charms, family obligations, you name it. My first

marriage was a disaster. I swear^� everyone must know about it.

It was the worst of them all^� arranged, violent, multiple other

fiancees, too many people into our business^� All for the

so-called honor of two old drunks who just wanted to retire

on our labors. I have been married a grand total of six times^�^�

(Here he pauses to look at my face)  ^�What? Do you find that

hard to believe? It^�s true. After that mess with the Tendou^�s

I swore that I would only marry for love. Once for honor^� Five

times for love^� Never for eternity.^�





9MK: ^�They must have been five lucky women^�^�





SR: ^�You think so? Maybe^� Maybe not.^� (His eyes cloud over at

this point. He is easily the most impressive and gorgeous man

I have ever laid eyes on.) ^�Think about it for a moment^� I am

not the easiest person to live with. Martial arts will always

come first for me^� Always has. This is not to say that I don^�t

have other interests^� I do. It^�s just that martial arts IS my

life. Any woman that I become involved with has to realize and

accept that^�Not many can. Now add in that I will almost certainly

outlive anyone I marry and then add in the fact that I still have

problems keeping my mouth from running amuck at times^�Well, you go

figure.^�





10MK: (I sat and ^�figured^� for a moment. Ranma Saotome^� His face,

his voice, all of him. Personally, I think he sold himself short.

Almost any woman I could think of would jump at the chance to be

with him.) ^�So^� what do you think of the Martial Artists of today

versus the ones of your youth?^� (I was purposefully trying to

steer the conversation away from what was obviously a tender

subject with him.)





SR: (Obviously relieved at being given an ^�out^�) ^�What do I think

of the Martial Artists nowadays? Honestly? Not much. No. Really.

Look at what these so called martial artists are doing now^�

What^�s the latest gimmick? It^�s those neural implants right?

Okay^� let^�s look at this^� These wannabees have neural amplifiers

grafted into themselves in order to make themselves faster. So

what? All the ^�fast^� in the world doesn^�t help you if you don^�t

have the basic skills to use it with. Martial Arts is not only

about winning a fight^� It^�s about training your body, your mind

and your spirit to be one^� united in one course of action. Whether

that action is fighting an opponent, performing a kata, or simply

making a meal. Harmony with oneself^�. These neural Amplifiers are

burning these guys out^� Sure they become almost as fast as I am

while using the Chestnut Fist^� So what? One year, two years^� two

and a half, tops, and these guys are burnt out shells. Their

bodies aren^�t able to handle the stress, and their muscles

literally tear themselves apart."





All I have so far....









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