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----- Original Message -----
From: "Kevin D. Hammel" <kevinsff@pacbell.net>
To: "KaraOhki" <karaohki@snet.net>
Cc: "Fanfic Mailing List" <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2000 11:43 PM
Subject: Re: [C&C][fanfic][Ranma]Cinders, chapter 6
At last, another chapter of one of my favorite stories.
Thanks
Kevin, thank you--both for the compliment and the C&C.
Cinders
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by June "KaraOhki" Geraci
karaohki@snet.net
December 23, 2000
Ranma 1/2 and its universe was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and belongs to
her. This work of fiction was written for entertainment only, and is not
intended for commercial purposes.
Chapter 6
"Are you going to kiss her or not?"
Ranma froze, Nabiki's question ringing in his ears. Kissing Akane when
they
were alone was one thing. Kissing her in front of her sisters and his
mother was another. He was about to stammer out an excuse when the look
on
his bride's face stopped him.
Hmmm... Might there be infectious ramifications?
"Well done, my son! How manly you are!"
Well done, how... uh... Nodoka you are!
Nodoka's words and the twinkle in
hers eyes showed just how happy she was, and for a moment Ranma was sorry
he
couldn't see his mother's smile behind the mask.
Bringing the mask in reminds us of just what the circumstances are.
It's the little things that make a story good.
Thank you. I kept thinking how everyone must be smiling like mad, and
neither the bride nor groom can see it.
...
The words "little brother" were enough to get Ranma's attention. The
remainder of Nabiki's speech was enough to turn him into jelly.
Thankfully
for him, it didn't have that effect on Akane.
Sometimes circumstances can actually force Nabiki to grow up a bit.
Where, where???
...
*****
The little scene had effectively killed all conversation in the room, and
Kasumi soon came to the rescue. She picked up a bag that she had set in a
corner of the room, and brought it to Ranma's tray table.
"We can't share this with you because of the masks, so I only made a
little
one. I wanted you to have a real wedding cake."
Unfortunately ANOTHER possible source of infection...
Kasumi: "What did you say about my cooking?" (Chases you around with a
frying pan)
...
Nice scene, though.
*****
...
"Nabiki."
"Yes?"
"Thank you, sister."
for some reason, I like 'Thanks' instead of 'Thank you'
(from Ranma at least).
I did consider it, but in this case he is being VERY formal.
Nabiki's eyes opened wide, and Ranma could see that her composure was
disturbed, despite the mask that hid most of her face. "No problem,
little
brother. I owed you."
OwED??? The word is *OWE*. That made up for maybe a couple of candid
photo shoots
Hey, Nabiki is Nabiki. She'll try to wiggle out from the debt if she can.
*****
...
He stopped long enough to tell the secretary that his mother was seriously
ill and ran out of the building. Unfortunately, Mr. Nakazawa didn't
remember the unprocessed marriage certificate until he was on the plane.
D@mn. One point, there is probably a phone on the plane he could
call the office to make sure the papers are filed. Until they are,
the marriage is unofficial.
Yes, I know. Wait and see what happens...
*****
...
*****
Akane looked at herself in the mirror. She looked a little thinner than
usual, and didn't like the dark circles under her eyes. Her wedding
outfit
was adorable, but the burns on her face spoiled it. She wondered how the
pictures Nabiki had taken would come out.
The answer is simple... "Photoshop".
"She'll probably retouch them,"
she murmured.
I guess The idea wasn't JUST mine. Wedding photos ARE commonly
retouched, even in 'normal' circumstances.
"Did you call me?" asked Ranma from the other side of the door.
"No."
Akane put a hand to her face, gently touching the burns. To her they were
the ugliest things on earth, but Ranma-Ranma looked at her as if the
weren't
I presume the dash is intentional? (as a substitute for ellipsis,
perhaps?) Should it be set off by spaces?
It should be Ranma--Ranma. Unfortunately, my "smart" word processing
program makes it into a long symbol, and converting it to txt gives me a
teeny little hyphen. Time to turn off the so-called "smart" feature.
there. Now they were married-for real. When night came, would Ranma
want...Akane couldn't take the thought any further. Then she forced
herself
to be honest. She wanted Ranma, and from the way he looked at her, he
felt
the same way about her. How were they going to manage with their
injuries?
Besides that, there was very little privacy in a place like a hospital.
The
brave front she'd put on with Nabiki had already crumbled.
with or for here?
You are quite correct--this should read "The brave front she'd put on for
Nabiki..."
...
"What? You're not going to do my chest?"
"Well, I DON'T want you doing MINE, you... you..."
"Husband?"
*thwaps you with a carrot*
...
*****
Ranma wasn't quite prepared for his reaction to Akane's hand on his chest.
His entire being was concentrated on her touch, and he had to exert
considerable self-control to keep his hands off her. He was disappointed
when she finished and returned the medicine to him.
Akane's hands trembled as she handed the jar back to Ranma. He grabbed
the
jar before she could drop it and returned it to its place.
"Thank you."
Wow, that salve must have the GOOD stuff in it.
Cologne: "Only the best. Want some?"
*****
...
He held her gently, avoiding the worst of the burns, and kissed her.
Akane's whole world turned over as the feelings Ranma's kiss caused
combined
with her weariness and the light-headedness she was already experiencing
from the pain medication.
[Damn, not now,] she thought, then she passed out.
Can't comment except to say well done.
thanks
*****
...
Ranma got up and unlocked the door. Then he got back into his bed and
moved
over into Akane's bed, getting as close to her as he could. Trying to
touch
her only where it wouldn't hurt, he moved her into his arms, and watched
her
go to sleep. A few minutes later he was asleep himself.
Or this one.
*****
The door opened, and a young woman entered the room. The skirt of her
nurse's uniform was a little shorter than hospital regulation allowed, she
wore her long hair in a ponytail, and a mask hid her face. She closed the
door behind her and approached Akane, studying her intently. Her eyes
narrowed with anger when she realized that Ranma was not in his own bed,
but
in Akane's, and that they were holding one another. Even worse, Akane had
her cheek pillowed on Ranma's bare chest.
The hallways of the hospital rang with the echo of Kodachi's screech.
*****
...
"Infection? But-" Ryoga's question was interrupted by the sound of a
scream from within the room. The pair dropped the gowns and masks, and
flew
inside.
Talk about PERFECT timing.
*Tries to look innocent. Fails utterly*
*****
...
Kodachi tried to get up and in the process leaned on Akane, who burst into
tears. That was too much for Ranma. He sat up, knocked his water pitcher
onto himself and Akane, and threw Kodachi across the room. She would have
impacted with the wall if Ryoga had not caught her.
All we need now is...
*****
Down the hall a young man carrying a bouquet of flowers was very
disappointed when the nurses informed him that he would not be permitted
to
bring them into the room of the patients he was on his way to visit.
"Take them, then. Such lovely ladies as yourselves deserve flowers."
Tatewaki.
Guessed, did you?
Kuno left the flowers on the counter of the nurses' station and continued
down the hallway. He was grateful that Nabiki had added his name to the
list of approved visitors, for he was quite worried about Akane's
condition.
He was also concerned about Ranma, but seeing Akane was his first
priority.
The sound of a scream coming from his destination made him start running.
[That was my sister! Is Saotome molesting her?]
When it rains...
*****
One moment Kodachi was on the bed, the next moment she was flying through
the air. She looked back, and saw something that made her scream again.
Her beloved Ranma was shrinking, changing into someone else. Someone who
was quite familiar to her.
Finally, the light goes on.
:)
[He told me. My brother told me, and I didn't believe him.] Those were
her
last thoughts before she passed out.
*****
Ryoga saw Kodachi's body hurtling towards him, and reacted instinctively.
He caught her. Unfortunately, her uniform, which was short enough to
begin
with, had ridden up and he found himself in a very unfamiliar position as
far as women were concerned. He had his hands somewhere they had never
been
before, and his reaction was to collapse in a dead faint. He never even
heard Kodachi's scream, or the arrival of yet another person in the room.
*****
"Don't cry, Akane." Ranma pulled Akane into his arms, and suddenly
realized
the two of them were soaking wet, and he was no longer male. He let her
go
and was reaching for a pajama top to cover himself
Is this RANMA? (but then he has grown up a bit in this story).
Nice touch to show how much.
when the door was nearly
torn from its hinges by the force of Kuno's entrance.
"Pig tailed-I mean-Ranma! What is going on in here?"
"Do me a favor, Kuno. Just be quiet until I can get Akane some help!
Your
sister hurt her!"
Ranma picked up the call button and pushed it before putting on a pajama
top. Akane had curled herself into a fetal position and refused to look
at
him. Her sobs tore at his heart.
The room became much more crowded when two nurses, a security guard, and
the
doctor came in.
"What is going on in here?" demanded the doctor.
The short answer: Ranma's life.
Yes, you're absolutely correct.
"She came back." Ranma pointed to Kodachi as he spoke. The girl was just
beginning to regain consciousness, and she looked in confusion at the face
of the young man who was holding her.
"How dare you!"
Ryoga opened one eye. "Huh?"
"Well, it seems my sister has chosen another young man. I approve!"
Bwa Ha Ha Ha !!! :^)
He approved of Ranma right away...why not a sudden switch?
...
Ranma reached out with the arm that wasn't around Akane, and lifted the
doctor off the floor. "You've gotta do something for her!"
"I'll see what we can do. Could you put me down?"
The nurses returned with hot water, dry sheets, and clean pajamas. Ranma
set the doctor back on his feet, and accepted the hot water.
"Don't 'see' what you can do. Do it."
The doctor ran for his life.
wise man.
*****
...
"I'm not ready to leave, Mousse. I need to go through my herbs to see
what
I can bring with me that might help."
Mousse held out his hand. "Use this."
Now WHAT could that be?
Oil of Olay
*****
Ryoga collapsed onto the grass and tried to catch his breath. He hadn't
heard Kuno's voice behind him for a while now, and hopefully he'd outrun
him.
Once Ryoga felt better he looked up, trying to get his bearings. He had
been in Nerima. This was most definitely not Nerima. The cows looking at
him were a pretty good indication of that.
"I think this is the first time I was ever glad I got lost!"
Nice bit.
I needed a little humor in here. There's so much dark stuff in this
chapter.
*****
...
"I'll stay here. Go to sleep."
no 'honey' 'hon' or 'sugar'?
Absolutely not, Kev. Ukyo knows she stands on thin ice with Ranma. He was
ready to toss her out of his life forever right after the fire. She doesn't
know he's married, but she knows he's committed to Akane, and that she has
NO chance with him.
*****
...
"No, but it's about time they got married." Cologne shrugged. "That's
not
important right now. I want to explain to you what I want to try. It's
risky, but from what you tell me you're run out of options."
One wonders WHAT she has in mind?
*****
...
*****
...
"No," said Cologne. "I don't want you to interrupt me, and I want you and
Ranma to listen to me very carefully, because this is serious business."
Cologne let go of Akane's hands, and Akane took the opportunity to reach
over and hold onto her husband. Whatever Cologne had to say, it was
evident
that it wasn't going to be pleasant.
The audience is on pins and needles in anticipation.
Did I drag it out too much?
*****
...
*****
...
Akane turned around and looked into Ranma's eyes. She saw the anger, but
she also saw he fear that he was trying to hide. "I don't know if I have
a
choice," she said softly. Then she turned back to the doctor. "Tell me
everything."
NOW we'll finally...
------------
more to come
bu... but ...
thanks to everyone I drove insane prereading this, especially Fido, Robert
and Mage
Comments? send to me at karaohki@snet.net or to all of us at ffml
Anyway, Thanks!
Thank you! I appreciate the comments, and will put them to good use.
June