Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic] [Ranma 1/2] [cross-over]
From: Vincent Seifert
Date: 12/27/2000, 12:16 AM
To: Kim Smuga-Otto
CC: ffml@fanfic.com



All comments strictly my opinion, and offered in good spirit. In

particular, I hope you won't be offended by fine-tooth copy-editing

comments... some people are, I know.



Snippage as convenient.

 

	No matter noble/pretentious one's motives when they start 

writing fanfiction, everyone eventually writes a Ranma piece.



Well, I think anyone who starts writing fanfic with noble or pretentious

motives is -- ow! I'll be nice! -- er, perfectly entitled to do so.

Ahem.  :)



No 

offense meant to those with "Martha Stewards' Living" subscriptions.



I'm not sure -- the last time I encountered the woman was among the

off-topic commentary on the Nagano Olympics -- but isn't it "Martha

Stewart"?



	Also, I'm not completely satisfied with the title, 

suggestions would be appreciated.



Hmm... I'll think about it.  It might help a bit to punctuate it as

"Faster, Kasumi!  Cook!  Clean!"



May I suggest simply "UVS, Inc." for your very amusing AMG spamfic,

the one at http://www.smuga-otto.com/kim/amg.html ?  ;>



						kim smuga-otto

						kmstephe@facstaff.wisc.edu

						http://www.smuga-otto.com

Faster Kasumi,  Cook, Clean



By Kim Smuga-Otto



(Note:  Characters are used without permission of creators.  All 

references to public figures is legal as this is a parody.)



---------------

Studio Apartment Kitchen Makeovers - How to make space for all your 

appliances (including that rice cooker) and still have room to 

prepare meals.  Japanese Living (August issue)

---------------



{A tame spacewarp helps.  Oh, Washuuuuu... :) }



	"She clearly wrote out 'whole wheat,' Akane," shouted a wet 

and very female Ranma from outside, "I'm sure she had a reason for 



outside.  "I'm



it!"

	"Shut up!"

	"It will work out just fine," said Kasumi, hoping to cut off 

the argument, "The recipe's actually quite flexible.  See, Akane, you 

just decrease the cooking time, because . . ." But her sister was 

already stomping out the door, mallet in hand.  "Well, maybe later, 

then, you can help me with the salad,"  Kasumi called after her, ever 

hopeful that someday Akane would take an interest in domestic matters.



{Well, she already takes an interest occasionally... and when she does,

strong men tremble. :) But we know what you mean.}



	"Hey sis," Kasumi turned to see Nabiki rummaging through the 

refrigerator, "You got any more of that tempura from last night?"



	"Hey, Sis."  Kasumi turned to see Nabiki rummaging through the 

refrigerator.  "You got any more of that tempura from last night?"



{or, if you must,}



	"Hey, Sis," Kasumi turned to see Nabiki rummaging through the 

refrigerator, "you got any more of that tempura from last night?"



	"Sorry, Saotome-san finished it off for breakfast.  I do have



{Kasumi refers to Genma as "Saotome-no-ojisama", in case you want to go

that far.}



some of the grilled unagi, if you'd like . . ."

	"Naw.  I just had a craving for something fried."

	"Well, I can certainly make more for dinner.  There are so 

many fresh vegetables this time of year and-"

	"Sure, whatever.  Hey what's this?"



Hey, what's



	"Oh, well Ranma and Akane just got back from shopping.  I had 



{...and she refers to Ranma as "Ranma-kun", if you like.}



them pick up three watermelons for -"`

	"No," her sister cut in, "This."  She waved a glossy magazine 



"this." {since it continues a sentence rather than starting another}



over her head, then started to page through it.  "Complimentary copy, 

it says.  Obviously some heavy promotional campaign, you know how 

much this kind of paper and ink costs.  Oh," the excitement in 

Nabiki's voice vanished, "It's a housekeeping magazine.  Here, 



"it's



	"For years," the kanji under the photo read, "Americans have 

turned to me and my numerous publications for help with food 

preparation, home care, entertaining, shopping, and much more.  With 

the launch of Japanese Living, I want to reach out to this nation's 

homemakers with the same helpful and straight forward advice, but 

with the Japanese perspective and sensibilities in mind.  Let me 

introduce myself, I'm Steward Martha.



Martha."



{And away we go...}



	"Steward Martha."  Kasumi repeated to herself.



Martha,"



	Dinner was twenty minutes late.  Not that anyone noticed, 

thanks to to Ranma's showdown with the secret Kodo ninja society.  It 

was not the most impressive show of martial arts, neighbors agreed 

later, but certainly the loudest in  while.  As the last drum rolled



in a while.  {?}

 

forlornly down the street, the family sat down to eat.



{I'm a fan of both Kodo (and other taiko) and Ranma, so this got a

laugh-out-loud. Martial-arts taiko drumming?! I love it. :) }



	"Kasumi, my daughter," said her father, "You have outdone 



father, "you



yourself.  This fish is spectacular."

	"Well, I used a different marinade sauce, and partially 

grilled the horse mackerel before frying to bring out the mitsuba's 

full aroma."



{Mmm.  Mackerel.  :)~  I can't make shio-yaki saba again until it warms up

enough here to use the hibachi, darn it.}



	"It is very good, Kasumi," said Akane.  She elbowed Ranma and 

said in a very audible whisper, "You should compliment her too, 

instead of just stuffing your face."

	"I'm sure she can tell I like it by the way I'm eating it. 

Maybe you're just trying to distract me so you can get thirds first."

	"I'm not a pig like you, Ranma!"

	"Hey, and here I thought you liked pigs.  Perfect pet for a tom . . ."



{heh.  Nicely scripted.}



She had some plant-pruning do that night, and afterwards, she wanted 



plant-pruning to do {?} 



to try some of Martha-sensei's tips for removing pet hair from 

bathtub tiles. 



{Pig hair?  Cat hair?  Panda hair?  All of the above?  :) }



---------------

"Ibekana 101 - Learn everything you need to started."  Japanese 



"Ikebana



Living (September issue)

---------------



	"Here you go.  The last of the chrysanthemum leaves." The 

lady at the grocery handed Kasumi the greens,  "Making vegetarian



greens.

 

sukiyaki tonight?"

	"Why yes." said Kasumi, "How did you know?"

	"You're not the only one purchasing that magazine." The 



magazine," the



grocer said, nodding to Kasumi's basket, "I can barely keep it in 



basket.  "I



stock."

	"Really?  I hadn't realized it was so trendy."

	"I hear they'll be publishing some of her other magazines. 

You want me to hold a copy of Stuart Martha Weddings when it comes 

in?"

	Kasumi couldn't hide her blush, "No, I don't think I need 



blush.



that just yet."

	The grocer shook her head, "Such a pretty girl like you.  You 

know, I've got a nephew who's single.  You just say the word . . ."



{heh. You know, I can imagine she gets that all the time... but not

directly from the "nephews" themselves, sigh.}



	"That's very kind of you, but I don't think so.  Goodbye." 

Kasumi would have liked to stay longer, but the floor varnishing she 

had planned for today would take at least three hours, during which 

the homemade soba noodles could be rising, but first she needed to 

finish her shopping.  It was amazing how large Narita could seem,



Nerima {Narita's an airport, isn't it?}

 

what with so many stores being on opposites sides of the district 

from each other.

  	Kasumi supposed she could ask Akane for help, but last time 

she did so, Akane had purchased shiitake mushrooms instead of the



she had done so, {or} she'd done so,

 

enoki ones Kasumi had requested and she ended up running out at the 

last minute anyway.  Sending Ranma was plain pointless as he'd just 

end up in a fight or fleeing from some fianc�e, which inevitably lead 



led



to extra mouths at the table.  Not that Kasumi minded, but it made 

meal planning more difficult.



{hehe! Admirable understatement.  :) }



	Well, soon enough the food dehydrator she'd ordered would be 

here and she could start a proper pantry.  Good thing too, the



Good thing, too;

 

nematodes sown in the garden as a living, environmentally friendly 

pest control system had more than done their job, and there was a 

limit on how much zucchini you could give away.



{uh... been there. I think everyone who's ever gotten involved with

zucchini has. These days, we subsist on the folly of others. :) }



	She stopped dead in the middle of the street.  Zucchini.  She 

needed two small, coated, stainless steel pans for the zucchini 

dessert bread she would be cooking tonight after supper.  Nothing to 

do but go back to the kitchen shop; she couldn't risk the vegetable's 

passing their freshness peak.  Kasumi sighed.  At this rate, she'd 

have to wait until the next day to read her the latest issue of her 

magazine, and she'd been so excited about the article describing how 

to optimize the ecosystem of the fishpond. 



{Did I mention I keep koi? :) I lost a couple when the ecosystem, uh,

de-optimized this fall, too. :( }



---------------

"Pet Food Basics - Learn how to enforce good diet and good manners" 

Japanese Living (October Issue)

---------------



	"Is it good?" Kasumi asked as Saotome sipped the freshly 

steeped tea.  "I decreased the amount of tea leaves and increased the 

brewing time by three minutes.  Most people can't tell the 

difference, but the article didn't say anything about a panda's taste 

buds and I didn't even consider it until I brought it out."

	The panda held up a sign saying.  "Good tea.  Want more cookies."



{hehe!}



	"Of course.  Ranma, would you like some more?"

	Ranma looked up from Kuno's latest challenge/love letter and 

Kasumi made a mental note to sand down and spackle the post where the 

arrow had hit.



{Again, a pithy summary of a situation that could easily take up pages,

but will live in the imagination of the reader... well done.}



 "Uh, no I don't think so.  They're kinda taste odd."



They kinda {?}



	"Really?  But you liked the anise when I used it in the stew 

last week."

	"Yeah," said Ranma rubbing his head and trying to avoid the 



Ranma, rubbing



scowl that Akane was giving him, "I guess I liked it better with 

meat."

	"Just ignore him, Kasumi." Said Akane, "Your cookies are 



Kasumi," said Akane.  "Your



always great.  I especially like the black sandwich ones with the 

white frosting in the middle."



{*facefault*}



	"Me too." said Nabiki. "Those go great with milk.  Can we 

have them next time?"

	"Well, I suppose but-"



suppose, but-"



	She was interrupted by a loud thwok sound from outside.



{suggest} 'thwock'



	"What the?" said Ranma as he stood up and walked outside. 

"This it the eighth one today and it's not even dinner time.  Why 



"This is



can't he just get a life?"



{He's got one: a fantasy life. He won't give it up until someone makes

him a better offer. :) }



	Dinner!  Kasumi practically leaped up.  What was she doing 

sitting around like this?  There was dinner to start.  And the 

place-setting decorations.  She'd been planning a special celebration 

tonight.  After all, it was over a month and since the most recent 



month since {?}



fianc�e had shown up.  And if that wasn't a cause for celebration, 

then what was?



{Uh oh.  She's rockin' on the rails... }





---------------

"All About Kaiseki - choose just the right small bites" Japanese 

Living (November issue)

---------------



	"I'm sorry Kasumi,  I really am.  But we just can't afford 



sorry, Kasumi, I



it."  Said Nabiki.



it," said



	"But it would pay for itself in the long run.  Remodeling the 

main room as a shoji screen porch would mean faster and cheaper 

repair whenever Ranma, or one of his friends, charges through a wall. 

And in the summer we could expand the screens, allowing the garden 

space and living space to intertwine, increasing our awareness of the 

seasons."



{mmm... I think the Tendo tea-room *is* shoji-walled, at least partially

and maybe mostly; it has an engawa between it and the garden. But this

scene is still a good illustration of how extreme Kasumi is getting

about this, so I have no complaint with it.



	"And in the winter we'd spend a fortune heating it.  And 

during monsoon season?"  Her sister asked.



season?" her



	"Temporary board structures."  Kasumi replied, flipping 



structures,"



through her latest home furnishing catalog.  "They only take a day or

two to set up and varnish.  It would be no problem for me at all."

	Nabiki shook her head.  "The walls are structural supports 

for the house, Kasumi.  It's just not going to work."

	"But, but-"

	"No, I'm sorry."  Nabiki gave her sister a measured look. 

"You're not angry are you?" 



angry, are



	"Angry?" Kasumi blinked, willing her eyes to stay dry, "Why 



dry.  "Why



would I be angry.  It was just a silly idea of mine.  Don't give it 



angry?



another thought."



{"But don't be surprised when your bedlinens aren't laundered on

scehdule." :) }



	"You sure?  Listen, Kasumi.  I've been thinking, maybe you've 

been taking a bit too much on yourself.  I mean all the gardening and 

decorating.  You don't have to do that kind of thing."

	"But I like doing it.  And I thought you enjoyed the results."

	"Well, yes."  Nabiki admitted,  "But it's not necessary.  If 



yes," Nabiki



you want to take a break and just do the cooking and cleaning like 

you used to, no one would complain."

	"Excuse me, I think the laundry's just about done.  It need 



I need



to take care of it."  Kasumi quickly left the room, her mind firmly 

on the fresh sprigs of lavender that she was going to place in the 

girls' lingerie drawers.  Nabiki would certainly appreciate that.



{I wonder how Happosai will feel about it.  :) }



---------------

"Celebrating New Year's - Commemorate the Holidays with traditional 

food and games." Japanese Living (December Issue)

---------------



	Beach nut cream.  Kasumi read it again, willing the words to



Beechnut {? I think... here and lots of places below, if so.}

 

be otherwise.  How could the new color for winter be beach nut cream, 

when she'd just bought almost ten thousand yen worth of pale forest 

green interior accessories?



{ Aaaiiiee!  Nooooo!  :) }



	It was spoken in perfect Japanese, but when Kasumi turned 

around she saw a lovely foreigner about her age with a blue mark 

painted on her forehead. 



{ *piku* }



	"Don't have to what?"  Asked a bewildered Kasumi.



what?" asked



	"Do what that magazine tells you to."  The foreigner leaned 

over to peer at the article Kasumi had been reading.  "You can 

decorate your house in whatever manner you wish."

	"But-" Kasumi was at a loss, "Beach nut cream.  Won't match.  It-"



loss.



	"Think back," the woman said, her voice calm yet powerful, 

"Think back to before the magazines, before the TV and radio 

specials, before the special-discounts-for-members, Martha endorsed 



Martha-endorsed



catalogs.  You did just fine back then, didn't you?"

	"I . . . I . . ." Kasumi tried to think back to how she'd run 

the household before.  Was it only a few months ago?  "I was 

disorganized, environmentally unfriendly, and struck in a rut-"

	"No, no," the foreigner assured her, "You were unique and 



"you



true to your own ideas and goals.  You were happy and content, 

weren't you?"

	Was I?  Thought Kasumi.  Yes, I was!  It was like someone had 



thought



just opened the shutters of window lighting up previously dark rooms. 



windows {?}



Kasumi found herself crying tears of joy from the happienes a seeing 



happiness of seeing {?}



the sun, but also tears of grief from the heartache of being so long 

in the gloom.

	"It's okay.  It's going to be okay."  The stranger was 

hugging Kasumi, comforting her, "I understand."



her.



	Kasumi couldn't believe it.  "You?  You followed the magazine too?"

	The woman smiled, "I was only 18 purchase points away from 



smiled.  "I



the Morning Sunrise Silk Yukata, valued at over twenty-five thousand 

yen.  I thought that if I just planned and executed the perfect 

menus, just remembered each of the holidays in a way that was both 

unique and meaningful, just accented the interiors with intelligence 

and economy, that somehow those around me would understand and 

appreciate me more.  I thought that my sisters would admire me, even 

though I'm not as resourceful or outgoing as they are.  And I thought 

that someone, someone special to me, might understand that all my 

homemaking was my way of telling him how much I cared."



{Aha, it *is* the middle Norn.  :) }



 Her face 

took on a distant look.  "What I didn't see, was that they already 



see was {comma muyo!}



knew and admired me.  And all the pains I took, all the extra 

shopping and nutrient balanced meals only prevented me from 



meals, only  {here's s good place for that comma.  :) }



understanding how they felt.  And," she added, "I think I may have 

been scaring them with my efficiency."



{Gee, you think so? :) I wonder if Kasumi ever realized how much terror

her family suffered in the "Kasumi is Angry" manga story...}



	Kasumi looked down at the magazine she still had clutched in 

her hand, at the tastefully arranged corner alcove, everything but 

the wall scroll's calligraphy's, a shade unobtrusive beach nut cream. 



calligraphed wall scrolls a shade of {?}



growl emanating from her throat.  With relish, she tore the home 

journal in half, then fourths, crumpled the free pages and stuffed 

them into her shopping bag.  Even in a rage, Kasumi would never do 

something as irresponsible as litter in a public area.



{heh, of course not.  Nice IC bit. }



	The foreign woman nodded with approval.

	"Feel better?"

	"A bit." Kasumi answered, "I still have several more of these 



"A bit," Kasumi answered.  "I



at home, as well as the catalogs and the complimentary copy of Ramen 

Soup for the Homemaker's Soul.



{hehe!}



	"We call ourselves HOJ, Homemakers of Japan, and we're 

dedicated to rescuing our sisters who have been ensnared by that 

woman's promises and lifestyle goals."



{Right on, sister!}



	"Like what you did just now, reaching out to me and helping 

me when I was about to despair?"

	"Well, we usually work on a slightly grander scale then that. 



than that.



Our leader says it's more efficient to start by taking out the 

serpent's nest, and then hunting down the already snakes."



{"the already snakes"?  Doesn't parse... "the escaped snakes", perhaps?}



	"But how?"

	"Come with me, I'll show you."

	"But I don't even know your name." Protested Kasumi, weakly.



name," protested

 

She felt as if her whole world had shifted in the past few moments. 

She was still Kasumi, protector and nurturer of the Tendo household. 

But there was more to that role than simple meal preparation and 

laundry, more even than seasonal decoration and color coordination. 

What exactly this new duty was, she wasn't sure.



{Anything except martial arts is probably open.  :) }



	Maybe this HOJ would hold the answers.  Kasumi was certainly 

willing to give it a chance, after all, she'd already waxed the



{suggest} chance; after

 

floors today, and it was at least four hours before she needed to 

start dinner.

	"You can call me Be," the woman said, "It's not my real name 



said.  "It's



of course, but in HOJ we all use codenames."

	"Oh," said Kasumi, "Well, you can call me . . ." she decided 

to keep it simple, "Ka."

	This met with silent approval, and before she knew it, Kasumi 

was being led down the warrn of Nerima's side alleys, to where, she 



warren {and suggest} alleys; to



wasn't sure.  Along the way, Be explained more of the group's 

philosophy.

	"It's not just Martha, she'd only a figurehead for the 



Martha; she's



commercial-industrial complex, and they're in turn only the latest 

incarnation of the patrimony that's been oppressing us from the 

beginning of civilization."

	"Us?"  Kasumi asked, but Be didn't seem to hear her. 

	"It started when they overthrew the 

All-Powerful-Mother-Earth-Deities, relegating us to mere muses and 

hearth/child-bearing goddesses, roles they thought small and without 

real power.  Of course they underestimated the importance of the 

home, didn't even consider of its central role in mortals' lives, 



consider its {?}



until we females had truly made it our domain."

	"You mean homemakers?"  Maybe referring to yourself as a 

goddess was a type of empowerment, thought Kasumi.



{hehe! "Symptom of empowerment", perhaps?}



	"Yes, homemakers, exactly.  Only now, they're trying to take 

that away from us too.  These consumer-marketed magazines and TV 

shows are all a clever ploy to steal our autonomy, enslaving us to 

fashions dictated at a whim and undermining our confidence in our own 

abilities.  You understand, don't you Ka?"



you, Ka?"



	"It's only scary the first time you use it," Be assured her, 

"Its really a marvelous device, absolutely essential to some of our 



"It's



more covert activities.  Our second in command procured it for us. 

You'll meet her on the other side, only . . ." her smile wavered for 

a mere second,  "Well, Sa's utterly lovely, and truly dedicated to 



{"Sa"?  Gee, I wonder who.  :) }



the cause, but she has some odd ideas concerning what it's all about. 

You'll see."



	"Welcome."  Her voice was so sweet, like an angel's.  "My 

codename's Sa.  Are you hungry?  I just made some carrot cake."



{Yup, I thought so.  I guess the Masakis are eating instant ramen.  :) }



	"No, thank you."  Said Kasumi, marveling that this child was



you," said

 

the second-in-command for such an organization, "I'm Ka."



organization.  "I'm



	"How's everything coming along?" asked Be, who had just 

emerged from the star portal and walked along with them



them.



	"Just excellent.  Really, truly super.  Agent Ichi got her 

hands on a bottle of sake, again, but other then that, everyone's 



sake again, {OK, it's an MI xover, too.  :) }



putting their hearts into it.  We'll be more then ready for tonight's 

operation"



operation."



	"What's happening tonight?" Kasumi ventured.

	"I'm not allowed to tell you just yet, not till after your 

meeting with the chief." Said Sa.  "But I bet you'll like it.  So, 



chief," said Sa, "but





has Be been telling you about our mission statement?"

	"A bit." Said Kasumi, hoping she wouldn't be quizzed, but she 



bit," said





needn't have worried because Sa almost immediately started on her own 

little spiel:

	"Basically, it's all about selling technology on the 

assumption that it will automatically improve a person's life.  No 

one's going to complain about the ease and time-saving aspects of a 

rice cooker.  But then there's the whole promise that goes with it, 

dump in the rice and water, push a few buttons, leave it for 

forty-five minutes and viola, perfect rice.  We all know there's more 



voila,



to it than that."



{Hey, this is making sense.}



Kasumi nodded, stifling a shudder as she remembered Akane's attempts 



{Missing indent?}



to make o-nigiri



o-nigiri.



	"But the corporations don't want us to realize that.  They 

want to convince us that the shortcuts don't make a difference.  That 

soaking the rice for an hour isn't necessary, that canned vegetable 



vegetables {to match plurality of "fresh ones"}



can take the place fresh ones, that instant ramen tastes pretty close 



place of fresh {?}



the homemade version." 

	Sa's voice underscored these last points with such gusto that 

Kasumi was convinced she was either a natural orator, or had given 

this speech more than once.  Be gave her a quick smile, as if 

agreeing with Kasumi's assessment.  By now, they'd come to a side 

door, which Sa pushed open and proceeded to lead them down a long 

corridor,



corridor.



	"The thing is," she continued, "Good homemakers know the 



"good



difference between homemade and instant ramen, and they aren't going 

to give up quality to save a few hours.  So corporate Japan has 

turned to Martha Steward and her magazine.  Japanese Living confuses 

homemakers with so many new things to do, so many important details 

to be taken care of that they need time saving devices, lots of them, 

just to get everything done.  And sometimes, those moneygrubbers are 

even more clever, inventing devices designed to take more time than 

the simple ways we had before -"



{By Odin, I think she's on to something.}



	"And devaluing our self-worth," cut in Be, "because now we 

need this new device and become reliant on the patriarchy to run the 

businesses necessary to provide it."

	"Gender has nothing to do with it, Be," said Sa, her voice 

slightly sharp, perhaps from being interrupted, "Their goal is to 



interrupted.  "Their



enslave us to machines, and to get us to pay them for the privilege."

	They reached a door at the end of the hallway, and Sa rapped 

a pattern on it.

	"But you can't deny they're a group of primarily males, 

targeting a group made upprimarily of women," insisted Be.



up primarily



	"And you can't deny that Japan has never been controlled by a 

religion with a single, omnipotent male deity, thus making comparison 

to Eur-"

	"Ladies!" came a low and sultry voice from behind the door, 

"Don't you have work to do?"

	Sa and Be both went slightly red, and each took a step back.

	"You will be called when we're done, now off with you two."

	Be and Sa bowed quickly to Kasumi and hurried off. 

	"Wiccan." Kasumi heard Sa mutter, to which Be replied: "Luddite."



"Wiccan,"  {and suggest} replied under her breath:



{This whole Belldandy/Sasami riff is hilarious, especially with that

last exchange.}



	"Enter," boomed the voice from inside, and the door creaked 

open.  Upon entering, Kasumi saw a woman dressed in a formal kimono, 

with normal brown hair, not a hint of face paint, and-

Kasumi knew it was bad manners to stare, so she fixed her eyes firmly 

on the woman's face, not daring to look higher then the leader's brow.



{ *piku*  You wouldn't. }



	"Come now, and shut the door behind you.  Now, what shall I call you?"

	"Ka." Kasumi said simply, feeling quite nervous.  This woman 



"Ka,"



was different than Be and Sa, she was less like a homemaker, more 



Sa;



like a general.

	"Good choice, we don't have a Ka.  My codename is," here she 

drew herself up slightly, all the while, keeping her head perfectly 

level, "Mata Hari Nikita Nightingale of Arc.  But you may call me 

Boss."



{hehe!}



	Despite herself, Kasumi twitched.

	"Yes, yes.  I know, it's overkill.  But I just couldn't make 

up my mind.  So, sit down, Ka and tell me why you want to join HOJ."



Ka, and



	"Well, to help other women who've been taken in by 

Martha-sensei." Kasumi answered promptly.



Martha-sensei,"



Homemaking should be creative, an expression of the very soul of the 

individual.  Otherwise it's just cleaning and meal planing."



planning."



	"Very well put." Said Boss.



put," said



	"I have the most righteous of justifications."  The Boss 

said, "Steward claims to be writing with Japanese sensibilities, but 

not once in all the issues did she have a single article fashioned 

for my tastes.  Not one article about incorporating seasonal dioramas 

into your hairstyles, no side note about housebreaking squirrel, and 

even in her American magazines, no tips for removing tire skids form



from

 

wood floors.  Don't even get me started about the total absence of 

bungee cord cleaners in her catalogs."

	This time, Kasumi face faulted.



{Me too. You would. More laughing out loud. What happens when Sana-chan

finds out what Mama's up to? :) }

 

fridge.  P-chan was doing his best to act the part of innocent pet, 

which was difficult, as he was so looking forward to the pounding 

Akane was going to give Ramna, just as soon as he took the first bite.



Ranma,



The bite in question would happen to be an oddly colored lump, meat 



question happened to be (actual, not potential, yes?}



or possible vegetable, held in chopsticks just centimeters from 



possibly



Ranma's mouth.  Rather like cherry blossoms, thought the pig, 

beautiful in its transient's state.



transient



	"Stop making faces," Akane hissed, "I didn't ask for Kasumi 



hissed.  "I



to take off at the last minute to go nurse some sick friend.  If it 

makes you worry any less, she left complete instructions to follow. 

And I read them before I accidentally set them on fire.



{hehe!}



 I've a good 

memory for these things, except the tablespoons/teaspoons business, 



{haha!}



and maybe. . ."

	Ramna was losing his nerve even as she spoke.  So before she 



Ranma



could give him more good reason not to, he popped the morsel in his 

mouth.  He regretted it, as he knew he would, and his regret showed 

on his face, which in turn had the expected effect on Akane. 

	She let out a low growl and reached behind her.  Ranma closed 

his eyes and gritted his teeth.

	"Huh?" He heard her say, and open one eye to see a confused 



"Huh?" he heard her say, and he opened one



Akane rummaging around the room.

	"What?" asked Nabiki.

	"I can't find my mallet."



{hoho!  Had to happen.  :) }



	Ramna and Akane were arguing.  This time about some 



Ranma



live-action Rival Schools game involving Furinkan and a private 

academy named Otohori.



{Now ordinarily I'd point out that it's spelled "Ohtori", give or take

romanization, but I have this funny feeling you mean it as given. :) }



	"Fine, don't listen to me.  I'm just a stupid tomboy after 

all.  But I'm telling you, I have a bad feeling about all this.  And 

besides, you don't even know how to fight with a sword." Akane was 



sword,"



lecturing.



{Hey, but he can fake it brilliantly.  ;> }



	"Naturally, the American corporations, which suffered damage



corporations which

 

have called for Japan's Prime Minister to take a tough stance against 

what they are referring to as blatant terrorism.



 And then there were the personal projects she'd always meant 

to get around to, like organizing the photo album; Nabiki was always 

taking photographs. 



{O_O Eeek.}



	And then there was tomorrow to plan for.



They'll never know what hit them.  :)



A nicely crafted story, full of deadpan takes on the familar characters

and deft touches adding surprising depth. I enjoyed it a lot, and now

I'm going to go read your Marmalade Boy prequel.



Thanks for writing and sharing!



Vince Seifert    Fanfic Analyst   FFIRC Frog

Prime:  seifertv@csus.edu

Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com

Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/

Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/

Ideas are worth their weight in gold.













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