A little late... I was traveling today, and had trouble getting my modem to
work.
The HTML version is at:
http://homepage.mac.com/dgoldsmith/writing.html
As always, all rights to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi and
Shougakukan
Equal Halves
By Deborah Goldsmith <dgoldsmith@mac.com>
Chapter 5: The Only Constant
*****
Nodoka watched, subdued, as her children demolished the birthday feast
she and Kasumi had prepared. They'd made a number of Ranma's favorite
dishes, hoping that they were Ranko's favorites as well, and they'd
guessed right. Her wide, delighted grin had been evidence of that. It
was clear that despite being a girl, Ranko's views on food were the same
as Ranma's. Ranma ate like a voracious killing machine, and Ranko ate
like a lady, but they both ate. And ate.
She smiled a wan smile; it was a joy to cook for one's family, but this
was likely the last time she'd be able to do it for Ranko. /Soon she'll
be gone, and I'll never see her again.../
/She is not your child,/ she chided herself. /She belongs to another
you, in another world. She belongs with her mother, her family; they are
surely grieving for her right now./ Her heart, wiser in some ways and
more foolish in others, sullenly refused to listen. /It's not fair,/ she
thought. /It's not fair. I already lost my Ranko once. Why do I have to
lose another one?/ The first time, it had at least been an even trade:
she had lost 'Tendou Ranko,' but she had gained back her son. Her
precious son, gone for so many years, grown into a fine young man,
albeit with... interesting problems. Even so, she'd grieved for the girl
who hadn't really existed.
This time, there would be no such compensation. This was a real girl,
not a disguise. This girl was Nodoka's own daughter, not some fictitious
cousin of Akane's. The fact that she was another Nodoka's daughter
didn't really change that very much. And this girl would be gone... gone
forever.
She had been able to accept that she could not have any more children,
that she could not have the daughter she had always wanted. The gods
gave one children, and one loved the children one got. But the gods had
tormented her, tantalized her by dangling two redheaded
not-quite-daughters in front of her, then snatching them away. /Is one
of my own too much to ask for?/
Her gaze traveled to Akane, and there she found a melancholy that echoed
her own. Akane was eating her dinner quietly, not really participating
in the conversation. /So, she made the same mistake I did. Not that we
really could have avoided it.../
She turned her attention back to Ranko, who was chattering away about
some violin technique, her audience--Ranma--rapt. It wasn't that she
would miss that face; she could see it every time her son's curse took
effect. It wasn't even entirely who she was; she was in large part
Ranma. It was that she was a feminine Ranma: a woman, like Nodoka. A
daughter. Nodoka could share things with her that she could never share
with Ranma, even when Ranma was a girl. Because Ranma was a man, even
when he was a woman. Nodoka would not want it any other way.
As if guided by intuition, Ranko's gaze met her own. There must have
been something of Nodoka's feelings in her face; the redhead's eyes
widened. Her head tilted, her mouth opened slightly, and her eyebrows
rose in concern: /"What's wrong?"/
Nodoka summoned every ounce of will she had to hold back tears. She
shook her head: /"Nothing."/ The last thing she wanted was for Ranko to
find out how she and Akane felt. It would be wrong to make the child
feel guilty for going home to her own family.
Nodoka's luck ran out after only a couple of minutes. Ranko's eyes
happened on Akane; she blinked, then furrowed her brow. A few moments
later, her eyes widened, and she started looking between Akane and
Nodoka. Finally, a look of determination settled over her features.
Nodoka wasn't suprised when the diminutive redhead corralled both of
them after dinner, dragging them to Akane's room for some privacy. She
and Akane sat on the bed while Nodoka sat in Akane's chair. She took
Akane's hand. "All right, out with it. Something's bothering both of
you. If someone has a gloomy face like that at a birthday celebration,
there's got to be a reason."
Akane surprised both of them with her reaction. "Baka! How can you be so
/calm/ about this?"
Bewilderment spread over Ranko's face. "About what, Sis? I don't
understand."
Akane took a deep breath. "That card you got! You'll be going home soon.
And... and I'll... I'll never see you again! How can you be happy about
that!" Ranko's jaw dropped, and Akane suddenly realized what she was
saying. Her anger evaporated, and she hung her head, feeling rather
foolish. "I'm sorry. Of course you want to go home. It just... hurts."
Ranko was shaking her head slowly. "Oh, Sis..." She turned her gaze to
Nodoka. "Mother..." Pain colored her voice. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't
realize..."
Akane's mouth hung open. "You didn't /realize/? Aren't... aren't you
going to miss us? You're never going to see..." She trailed off, then
her eyes widened. Her face grew pink, and she sighed, her shoulders
slumping. "I keep forgetting how this all looks to you. Of /course/
you're not going to miss us; we're there in your world. And... they're
/your/ Akane, /your/ mother. The ones you've known your whole life.
We're just these... weird doubles."
Ranko shook her head. "No, Sis, you're not weird doubles to me. But
you're right; I hadn't thought about it much. To me, you're the same
people." She eyed Nodoka, and again wondered why she seemed to differ in
some ways. Now didn't really seem like a good time to bring it up. Even
so, this /was/ her mother.
"You look the same, you... you mostly act the same. I know that you're
not exactly my sister and my mother, but when I look at you, that's who
I see. Not doubles. I was kind of thinking that going home would just
mean that everyone would start acting normal again. Well, Ranma wouldn't
be there, but he's me, so it isn't like I'm going to miss him." She bit
her lip. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about how this looked to /you/."
She looked between Akane and Nodoka again, and her voice turned
hesitant. "Are... are you saying you want me to /stay/?" She held her
breath, waiting for the answer.
Nodoka interceded, her voice firm. "No, Dear, absolutely not. We've only
known you a few days, though it feels much longer. I guess that's
because you're Ranma. But... we can't do that to your family. We've
already got one Ranma here; we can't be that selfish. And you have your
fiance waiting for you, too."
Ranko looked back and forth between them. "But why is it bothering you?
Isn't one of me enough?"
Akane and Nodoka looked at each other. Nodoka was reluctant to air her
feelings, but she didn't know what else to say. Finally she answered
simply, "I've always wanted a daughter."
Memories of the things she and her mother liked to do together flowed
through Ranko's mind, and she nodded and smiled sadly. "I understand.
I'm sorry, Mother."
Nodoka pasted on her best motherly smile. "Don't be sorry, Dear. Many
mothers are in the same situation. I've survived this long without one."
Ranko seemed to relax, and her smile brightened.
After a few moments, she turned to Akane with an expectant air. The
short-haired girl bit her lip. "I guess... I see you as different from
Ranma."
Ranko tilted her head, puzzled. "Different how? Of course, he's a boy
and I'm a girl; we behave differently. Maybe I've matured a bit in the
past seven months, and he hasn't, yet. But when I look at him, I see me,
except he's a boy." She grinned. "Even when he's a girl." She peered at
Akane. "Is that it? Is it because I'm a girl?"
Akane shook her head. "No... no, I have two sisters and plenty of
girlfriends. It isn't just that." She took a deep breath, and blurted
out "I... I just feel so close to you, like we can share everything.
I've never felt that way about Ranma." She hesitated before admitting
this in front of Nodoka, but plunged ahead. "I... I love him, I even
want to... to marry him, just... just not right away." She glanced
nervously at Nodoka, who merely smiled.
"But I'm not close to him in the same way I am to you. It's like there's
a barrier between him and me, a distance that isn't there between you
and me. He's this martial arts god, we have trouble even getting
along..." Her eyes suddenly grew teary, and she stopped speaking. After
a while, she whispered, "He doesn't mean to, but he intimidates me."
Nodoka tried to keep her disappointment from showing.
Ranko put an arm around Akane; it was an akward position for her given
her shorter stature. "Sis... you and he will get there. I'm sure of it.
He has many of the same problems I had, because he was... raised the
same way." Again she glanced at her mother; she did not want to open
this can of worms right now. Part of her wanted to go home without ever
opening it at all, but she felt she owed it to Ranma to at least try to
broach the subject. "He'll grow up eventually." She paused. "He /is/ a
boy, after all. You know they're slow that way." She winked.
Akane smiled in spite of herself, but it quickly faded. "Maybe. I... I'm
not sure. Maybe some day..." She bit her lip, and her face grew very
cloudy. "But with you here, I feel like I've finally gotten close to
Ranma, and... and I'm going to miss that. I've gotten spoiled."
*****
Ranko was sitting at the dining room table, pondering what Akane had
told her, when the other shoe dropped. And it was a good thing it didn't
land on anyone's foot.
A call came from the genkan. "Gomen kudasai..."
Kasumi called "Hai!", rose from her needlepoint work, and hurried down
the hall. A minute later, she called "Ranko-chan? Could you come to the
genkan, please?"
Ranko went to join Kasumi, and found a plump, middle-aged woman in the
entryway. "Ranko-chan, this is Marumoto-san. She is one of our
neighbors. Marumoto-san, this is Saotome Ranko. Could you tell her what
you told me?"
Marumoto-san smiled at Ranko, then peered at her more closely, her brow
furrowed. "Ranma-kun? Is that you? I knew about your little problem, but
I didn't know you had an alias you used as a girl."
Ranko blushed. "I'm not Ranma, Marumoto-san. I'm a double of Ranma from
a parallel universe, except I was born a girl. My name really /is/
Ranko."
Marumoto-san, being a neighbor of the Tendous, took this all in stride
without batting an eyelash. "How interesting! Things have been so
entertaining around here since the Saotomes arrived. It's nice to meet
you, Dear." She beamed at Ranko for a moment, then blinked. "Oh, yes, as
I was just telling Kasumi-san, today this simply huge envelope arrived
in the mail. It was addressed to a Saotome Ranko, and we didn't know
anyone by that name, and frankly it looked a little bizarre. We thought
it was a joke or something and were about to throw it out, but then I
thought that maybe Ranma or his father might know who it was since they
were named Saotome, so I decided to come over here and ask, even though
it /is/ a little late--I /am/ sorry about that--but I'm glad I did,
because here you are!"
Ranko thought she was going to explode as she waited for Marumoto-san to
finish speaking. "Thank you, Marumoto-san. Did you bring it with you?"
Marumoto-san nodded. "Yes, indeed! It's right here in this bag." She
held up a mesh shopping bag, and held it open. Ranko reached inside, and
her eyes bugged out as she wrestled a very heavy, very large plain brown
mailing envelope from the inside. It weighed over two kilograms!
She and Kasumi looked at the address. It was indeed addressed to her, by
name--and with the correct kanji. Kasumi exclaimed, "Oh! Whoever sent it
transposed two digits in the address. That's why it went to your home
instead of here, Marumoto-san."
Marumoto-san nodded, smiling. "Well, I'm glad we didn't throw it out!
I'll just be going home, then. Good night." She turned and left.
Kasumi and Ranko called out "Good night," in turn, and headed back to
the family room.
Akane looked up as Ranko and Kasumi appeared. "What's that? It's pretty
huge."
"Someone sent me a package, but they addressed it incorrectly. I wonder
if it's another present?" She set it down on the table.
Ranma looked over at the large brown envelope from his place in front of
the TV. "Who's it from?"
Ranko peered at the envelope; she hadn't looked beyond the recipient
address before. The color drained from her face.
Nodoka put down her book and leaned forward. "What is it, Dear? You look
like you've seen a ghost."
Ranko swallowed audibly. "It's from... it says it's from the 'Bureau of
Mortal Affairs, Mortal Auxiliary Support Department.'" She looked over
the rest of the envelope, and her jaw dropped. Instead of postage, it
bore an imprint, which she read aloud: "Interreality postal permit
126517906153-642. Official use only. Unauthorized use is prohibited and
may be punishable by fine, imprisonment, or..." she blinked, "eternal
damnation."
Suddenly Nabiki, Ranma, and Akane were all looking over her shoulder,
peering at the envelope themselves.
Nabiki felt a little light-headed. It wasn't every day that you received
mail from the gods. /Official/ mail. "Maybe... maybe you should open
it?" She winced. /Insightful, Nabiki. Really insightful./
Ranko ripped open the envelope and slid out the contents: an enormous
stack of papers. On top was a form.
/Form 487389566-QRZ (Revised 5384 B.C.): Instructions for Mortal
Auxiliaries (Package Contents)/
/Dear Mortal,/
/This package contains information necessary to your position as a
temporary mortal auxiliary. Please take care not to lose it; it contains
much important information and cannot be easily replaced./
"Great," said Akane, "It's important and can't be easily replaced, and
they misaddressed it. It could have wound up in an incinerator."
/Enclosed you will find:/
/(Qty 1) Cover letter/
/(Qty 235) Official forms and instructions/
/(Qty 93) Informational brochures/
/(Qty 107) Valuable coupons and offers/
"I don't believe this..." moaned Ranko. She turned the page.
/Form 939587284-WWU (Revised 1203 A.D.): Cover letter/
/Greetings, From the Director of the Bureau of Mortal Affairs/
/Congratulations! You have been selected to serve the multiverse as a
mortal auxiliary!/
"Really?" deadpanned Ranko, "I hadn't noticed."
/Your service is a result of:/
/O The whim of one or more gods/
/O Bad karma during a previous existence/
/X The wish of a mortal/
/O The eternal battle against the forces of darkness/
Everyone boggled. "Somebody /wished/ for this?" asked Ranma. Everyone
looked around at everyone else, but no one looked like the guilty party.
Ranko continued reading.
/Your status as an auxiliary is temporary and will lapse at the
conclusion of your service. Abuse of your status as a mortal auxiliary
is a serious offense and may result in your retroactive erasure from
reality./
Ranko swallowed. "Let's pass on that, shall we?" She wondered what
exactly constituted "abuse."
/Please be sure to read all of the attached important material in order
to be fully informed as to your responsibilities and rights, and your
situation./
Ranko eyed the huge stack of materials. "/All/ of it?!"
/Instructions on your mission, and how to return to your own reality
when it is concluded, are included on the appropriate forms. Enjoy this
unique experience, and welcome to the mortal auxiliaries!/
That was the end of the cover letter. Ranko started to flip through the
other materials; they seemed to be in no discernible order. She pulled
the first item off the stack. It was a glossy four-color brochure. She
read aloud:
/The Interreality Agricultural Pest Control Bureau/
/We Keep Crops Safe in *Your* Universe!/
"Yes," observed Nabiki drily, "obviously this material is /very/
important."
*****
Two hours later, Ranko, Akane, Ranma, and Nabiki were still plowing
through the huge stack of paper, as the rest of the family watched,
somewhat incredulous. They were still looking for useful information,
and hadn't found much. Everyone's eyes were starting to glaze over.
"Hey Ranko," called Nabiki. "Here's another coupon."
"What's it for?"
"A free tankard of mead at the Fox and Vole pub in London."
"And when did this one expire?"
"June 22, 1189."
The "valuable" coupon joined several more like it in a growing trash
pile. Ranko pulled the next item off the stack; it was another brochure.
/The Interreality Bureau of Weights and Measures/
/Want to know how high up is? We have the answer!/
Her eyebrows shot up, but at the moment she was more interested in
finding out how to get home than how high up was, so it landed in the
trash pile, too.
Most of what they had gone through had been like this: marginally
useful, or not at all. Ranko had had her question answered; they'd
found:
/Form 295729480-KKF (Revised 1489 A.D.): Abuse of Mortal Auxiliary
Status/
/The following actions are expressly forbidden to you during your tenure
as a mortal auxiliary. Breach of these prohibitions is punishable by
retroactive erasure from reality./
/- Transport of objects massing more than 1 million metric tons between
realities, including celestial bodies./
/- Injuring a Certified Public Accountant or Notary Public./
/- Import of animals or plants to a reality where they have mythical
status./
/- Trading securities based on knowledge of another reality./
/- Founding a new religion./
/- Using a weapon of mass destruction./
/- Parking in a loading zone./
Ranko had felt some relief, as she certainly didn't intend to do any of
these. This was the most useful form they'd found so far. Others had
included:
/Form 398723927-KJS (Revised 1301 B.C.): Application for Permit to
Transport Livestock Between Realities/
/Form 390103992-YXL (Revised 1098 A.D.): Self-Declaration of Mythical
Status/
/Form 209818027-ALK (Revised 3072 A.D.): Application for License to
Operate a Field Inversion Gate/
They'd spent a few minutes trying to figure out what a "field inversion
gate" could possibly be, and wondering what a form from 3072 was doing
in Ranko's package, but had given up and decided to press on through the
stack.
It was getting on towards 11 o'clock, and everyone was getting rather
bleary-eyed, when Akane called out "Ranko! Look at this!"
Ranko tossed aside the brochure from the Interreality Messiah
Certification Board and took the form which Akane held out to her.
/Form 298742094-YUI (Revised 722 A.D.): Mortal Auxiliary Mission Details
(Mortal Wish)/
/In order to protect the privacy of clients granted wishes, it is not
possible to divulge either the details of the wish you are helping to
grant or the identity of the mortal who made it. This form lists actions
you should take to help fulfill the wish, and the current status of your
mission./
There was a box, which was filled in with:
/Be seen together with Ranma by at least 80% of the student body at
Fuurinkan High School. It would be best to wear relatively feminine
clothing (e.g., dresses rather than blue jeans). Ranma must be in his
male form. Your non-mortal supervisor will take care of all other issues
pertaining to granting this wish./
Below that was a section entitled "Mission Status":
/Your mission is currently _100%_ complete. When this number reaches
100%, Form 109822942-SOR (Instructions for Return to Home Reality) will
appear in your package./
Ranko blinked. The "100%" was /typewritten/; how could it change? She
shrugged; it didn't really matter. "Well, at least we know the
instructions on how I can get home are in here somewhere." She beamed.
"I'll be going home soon!" Her smile faded as she noticed Akane and her
mother looking very, very somber.
She sighed and peered at the form once more. "I guess the wish is
complete now. So /that's/ why we ran into all those people this morning.
But why would someone make a wish that involved people seeing Ranma and
me together? And why did Ranma need to be in male form?"
Akane's brow furrowed, and after a few moments her eyes widened. "Ranko,
do you remember what Kunou said when he ran into us this morning? 'Thus
is the vile lie exposed!' He and his loony sister are the only people
who think Ranma's girl side and his boy side are two separate people!"
Ranma groaned. "You're right! That's /gotta/ be it. One of 'em musta
wished for the 'vile lie' to be 'exposed.' This prince guy needed a girl
version of me to make it happen. That's gotta be why it says I need to
be a guy and she needs to wear a dress." He turned to Ranko. "Sorry
'bout this, kiddo."
Ranko was seething. "It's not /your/ fault. It's those /idiots'/ fault!"
She sagged and let out a long sigh as the anger suddenly left her.
"There's no point in getting upset, I guess. It's too late to do
anything about it now."
Ranma grinned. "How's about next time I pound the moron, I give him a
few extra for you?"
Ranko laughed. "Thanks." She rubbed her eyes. "You know, I just can't
stare at this fine print any more. I have a headache." There was a
chorus of agreement.
Kasumi looked around. "Maybe we should all go to bed and continue in the
morning?" Ranko nodded, rose, and headed into the kitchen in search of
aspirin. The family started to drift off to prepare for bedtime.
Ranko caught up with the other women in the bath. To speed things along,
the men had bathed together, and the women were now doing the same. With
the three Tendou sisters, Nodoka, and Ranko all in the tub, it was a bit
of a tight squeeze, but they managed.
>From the mood, you might have thought it was a funeral rather than a
bath. Nodoka and Akane were both morose; Ranko took her cue from them.
Kasumi and Nabiki watched all this transpire in silence.
Ranko reflected that her visit was ending the same way it had begun:
with a family bath. This time, instead of the air of uneasiness which
had pervaded the family, it was an air of mourning. Even though she
hadn't been part of their family, they /were/ her family, and somehow,
it seemed she was going to be leaving a hole when she left.
She looked back and forth between her mother and Akane, and settled on
the older woman. "Mother, I..."
Nodoka shook her head. "No, Dear. I'll be fine; I'm just a little sad.
I'm sorry I even told you how I feel; I don't want you to suffer because
of this. It's not your fault." Again, she summoned her will and her
experience as a mother, and managed a smile of affection. She was
rewarded by a little smile stealing onto Ranko's face.
The redhead nodded slowly, then turned to Akane. She tried a smile, and
Akane gave a halfhearted smile in return, a smile that said /"it's going
to be all right."/
She thought, /Yeah, right. And everyone says I'm the one who's bad at
lying./
Her heart tightened, but she knew that there was nothing she could do to
change the fact that this Akane and this mother were going to miss her.
And yet she also knew that at that very moment, /her/ Akane and /her/
mother were missing her, and she /wanted/ to go home to her own family
and her own life. It was a no-win scenario. She knew she couldn't stay,
but she wished there were something she could do to make her loved ones
here feel better.
After the bath, everyone quietly headed off to bed, but Ranko wandered
back to the family room. Her head still ached--possibly more than it had
earlier--and the aspirin hadn't taken effect yet. She hoped it would
soon; too bad it wouldn't do anything for the ache in her heart.
She found Ranma there, too, flipping channels on the television. It
looked like he wasn't ready to sleep, either.
He looked up briefly as she dropped down to sit next to him, sagging
slightly as she arranged herself on the floor. "Ain'tcha goin' to bed?"
She smiled faintly. "My headache is still pounding away. I'm waiting for
the aspirin to work."
He nodded, somewhat distracted. "And you?" she asked.
He didn't answer for a while. "Akane and Mom are sure takin' your
leavin' pretty hard."
Ranko raised an eyebrow. "You noticed, huh?"
He snorted. "Yeah. It was hard to miss." He glanced down, tuning out the
TV. He'd landed on some American movie, dubbed into Japanese. It looked
like a kid's movie, set at a summer camp.
He seemed to have something more on his mind, but just stared at the
floor; Ranko waited patiently for him to continue. "I've been thinkin'
alot about what you said last night. About bein' Akane's friend." He
looked up at Ranko. "And I decided... you're right. I gotta be her
friend too, not just her fiance. After watchin' you guys, I can
understand that." He sighed. "But... I dunno. I mean, we..." he looked
around to make sure they were alone, "we l-love each other, but...
whenever we try to get together, we just... I dunno... fight." He eyed
her. "You guys get along great. Akane and me, we oughta get along like
that, too." He offered a wan smile. "I'm kinda jealous, y'know?"
Ranko sighed. "I know. She told me she feels like there's a barrier
between you and her, but there isn't between me and her." She blushed.
"I'm sorry about this. I sort of grabbed onto her when I first got here,
because I'm so close to my Akane, and... and I really needed her. Now,
she's gotten attached to me." She shook her head. "We've got to find a
way for her to feel comfortable with you, too. I'm not going to be here
past tomorrow, but you guys will be spending the rest of your lives
together. We've got to get her to see that you can be her friend the
same way I can."
Ranma's brow furrowed. "But how? Every time I try to talk to her, it's
like our defenses go up. I've been watchin' you, and I think I can... I
can do better talkin' to her, but I dunno if she's gonna give me the
chance. How can I get her to relax the way she does when she's talkin'
to you?"
Suddenly a girl's voice said, "I have a brilliant idea!" Two pairs of
eyes swiveled around to the television. On the screen, two young girls
were having a conversation.
They were identical twins. They were redheads. Ranma's and Ranko's jaws
dropped.
"What is it?" replied the other redhead on the TV.
"I think we should switch places! When camp is over, I'll go to London
as you, and you go to California as me!"
"/What/?!"
"We can do it! We're twins, right?" Ranma and Ranko looked at each other
and blinked, then looked back to the TV.
"But we're so different!"
"That's OK! Look, I can already do you!" She imitated the other girl's
way of speaking.
Ranma slowly raised the remote control and turned the television off. He
and Ranko both stared at the dark screen for a minute, then turned to
stare at one another.
Slowly, a grin crept onto both their faces.
*****
The clock was slowly creeping up on 3 AM as two redheads plotted
strategy in the family room. After making sure the rest of the family
was asleep, they'd snuck back downstairs and met. Ranma was in her
female form, and they were both wearing pajamas, because Ranko was
giving Ranma a crash course in how to be her. Having spent twelve years
as Ranma herself, Ranko didn't feel she needed any education in /that/
department.
Ranma already knew how to use female speech--every male knew what it
sounded like, and she'd had a fair amount of practice during the last
year. She had just needed a little tutoring to tone down her exaggerated
femininity. They'd been at it for over two hours, and as always Ranma
was a fast learner when she was motivated. As a result, anyone watching
at the moment would have been hard pressed to tell the two girls apart
except by what they were saying. And the fact that one of them had her
hair in a pigtail.
One redhead asked, "Are you sure we shouldn't just swap now? It'll be
harder tomorrow when everyone's awake. Especially Nabiki-neechan."
The other shook her head. "No, we'll never be able to pull this off for
the whole day. You haven't had enough practice yet, and someone is going
to start wondering why I don't 'change back.' Our best bet is to swap
right after I ask Akane to meet for a private talk." She grinned.
"Besides, if Akane finds out you slept in her room, she'll go
ballistic."
Ranma sighed. "True." She frowned. "Why do you say I haven't had enough
practice yet? I think I'm speaking the same way you do."
Ranko nodded. "You are. But you haven't had practice in something just
as important: being open with your feelings. That's a big difference
between us; Akane noticed it right away. It took me a long time to open
up like that after I became Ranko again, to say what I was feeling
rather than holding back all the time. You won't be able to overcome
that right away. Akane will catch on sooner or later, and we shouldn't
give her a chance before you two get together. And there are other
things everyone might pick up on. You haven't lived as a girl for seven
months like I have."
Ranma tilted her head. "I guess you're right. All right then, we'll wait
until just before you meet Akane." She peered at Ranko. "Are you /sure/
you know how to be me?"
"Hey," said Ranko using male speech, "I ain't stupid, ya dumb macho
tomboy!"
Ranma bristled for a moment, then stopped, her mouth falling open. This
was how she made Akane feel, wasn't it? Her cheeks turned pink in
embarrassment as Ranko smiled. "Well, I guess you haven't forgotten..."
Suddenly she yawned, and Ranko yawned with her.
Ranko rubbed her eyes. "I want to get to bed before my headache comes
back. This ought to be enough to get you through one conversation with
Akane. After that you two are on your own."
Ranma nodded. "I know. I just hope it's enough to get us past the first
step. I'd like to be able to be friends with her without having to
pretend to be you." She smiled. "Thank you; I really appreciate your
helping me with this."
Ranko nodded in approval. "That was very good! You expressed some
feelings there. You're getting the idea."
Ranma's smile broadened into a grin. "Thank you, Oniichan."
Ranko grinned too. "Anytime, kiddo."
*****
"/Yaaaaaahhh!/"
Akane's punch passed through the space Ranko had occupied a moment
before, meeting nothing but empty air. For her efforts she was rewarded
with a smart rap in her side. It hurt a bit, but she didn't hesitate,
completing her motion and taking up a new position from which to
evaluate the situation.
She and Ranko circled each other. "I was too aggressive just then,
wasn't I?"
The redhead nodded. "Yes. You left yourself open because you
overextended yourself."
Akane nodded herself. "I thought so. I'll try to watch that." Ranko
didn't respond with words, but leapt, fingers extended for a blow. Akane
reacted on instinct, and managed a twisting leap that avoided the
attack, but just barely. She was pretty sure she wouldn't have succeeded
if Ranko hadn't been holding back.
The day had dawned gray and dreary, and that had matched Akane's mood
perfectly. She'd woken before Ranko, and had spent a few minutes
watching her roommate slumber in the gray light before trying to wake
her. That had been more difficult than usual for some reason.
Today Ranko was likely to go home, and Akane had wanted one more
sparring session with her. She could tell it was improving her skills,
and it also got her mind off the redhead's imminent departure. Ranko had
been happy to oblige in any case.
The sun had started to break through the early morning mist as their
session had progressed, but Akane's mood had not improved with the
weather. She wasn't angry at Ranko, but part of her was feeling sullen
and resentful, and the negative emotions were throwing her off a bit.
She was trying to push that aside, with mixed success.
Ranma watched quietly from the porch; he, too, looked a little
bleary-eyed. For some reason, his father was content to let him sit and
evaluate the match, and that was exactly what he was doing. He'd been
too shocked discovering Ranko to properly observe the action on Friday;
today, he was watching intently. He observed how Ranko was pushing
Akane, holding back so as not to overwhelm her but rather fighting at a
level just beyond that of Akane herself. And Akane was following Ranko's
gentle lead, pushing herself.
His face was tinged slightly pink as he thought about the times /he/ had
battled with Akane. Usually it was only when she gained some magical
advantage, like the Super Soba, and he couldn't bear the thought that
she could beat him. He'd felt compelled to prove he was better, that he
was the best, that he could always beat her. Those few times they'd
fought, she'd been so eager to show him that she was an equal, but he
hadn't ever felt he could allow that. Because Saotome Ranma /never
lost/. He hadn't even thought about trying to improve her skills; all
he'd cared about was reestablishing his own supremacy.
Why?
As he watched Ranko and Akane spar, he thought about his goal in life:
to be a martial arts sensei, to continue the dojo. Ranko had given up on
being a sensei, but she was acting like one, concentrating on the
development of her student. When had he ever done that? All he had cared
about was winning. What kind of a sensei would he be with an attitude
like that?
He'd lived with Akane for a year, and it had taken a girl version of
himself from another reality to try to teach her, to help her to
improve. /I shoulda been doin' this all along/, he thought. His face
turned a deeper shade of pink.
After an hour, both girls decided to call it quits. They went off to
wash up, and when Ranko returned for breakfast she was wearing the same
outfit she had when she arrived: teal v-neck top, jean skirt, and hose.
She didn't say anything about going home, but she didn't have to: her
outfit said it for her. There was little conversation during the meal.
Ranma watched the redhead for a short while, continuing to muse on the
differences between them. One of them reminded him of something. "Hey,
Ranko, any chance I could get one more violin lesson from you before..."
He noticed the ashen expression on Akane's and his mother's faces, and
left the sentence unfinished. /Baka. You had to rub it in, didn'tcha./
Ranko smiled and nodded. "Sure. After we finish sorting through the
papers."
They returned to that task after breakfast; once again, Ranko, Ranma,
Akane, and Nabiki made their way through what was left of the stack. As
Akane scrutinized each paper, she tried to ignore the little voice in
her head which told her to destroy the instructions for Ranko's return
if she were the one to find them.
They hadn't been at it very long when Nabiki paused, her eyes widening.
Suddenly, she drew her breath in sharply. Everyone turned to look at
her.
"Oneechan?" asked Ranko, tentatively.
Nabiki swallowed. "It's another coupon. This one hasn't expired."
"Oh?" asked Ranko. "What's this one for? A free takoyaki at a stand in
Sapporo?"
Nabiki shook her head. "It's... it's for... one free wish. Whatever...
whatever you want."
Ranko snatched the coupon from Nabiki's outstretched hand, and scanned
it. She read aloud:
/One free wish, no restrictions./
/This coupon has no expiration date./
/This coupon may only be redeemed by Saotome Ranko, daughter born to
Saotome Nodoka and Saotome Genma of Nerima ward, Tokyo, Japan, on March
18, 1983, at 7:23 AM. Any version of Saotome Ranko meeting this
definition may use this coupon./
Ranko blinked; there were other versions of /her/, as well? She supposed
it made sense.
/Instructions: Please write your wish in the space below, and sign your
name or use your seal when you are certain of your wish. This will
redeem the coupon and cause your wish to take effect./
/Note: For best results, sit down, drink a nice cup of tea, relax, and
think things through before making your wish. Ill-considered wishes can
be hazardous to your reality./
/Paperwork reduction act notice: average time to complete this form is
twelve minutes, exclusive of time to consider your wish./
There was an empty box below the print, which took up most of the space
on the paper, and a line for her signature.
Those who had wondered why Nabiki hadn't silently kept the coupon for
herself had their question answered. A hush fell over the room; this
really /was/ a valuable offer.
Ranko gently placed the coupon on the small pile of useful forms. "I'm
going to have to think about that one." They continued working their way
through the pile, the mood a little more somber.
The mood was much more somber when, an hour later, they finished off the
last of the stack. There had been no sign of Form 109822942-SOR. It just
plain was not there.
Nodoka hurried over to embrace her daughter as the redhead burst into
tears, even as her face burned with shame at that part of her heart
which was rejoicing.
*****
As lunchtime approached, they finished their second pass through the
documents. Since they were looking for something specific, it had been
quicker than the first. It hadn't been any more successful, however.
They'd looked through every single piece of paper again, and the form
simply wasn't there.
Ranko was huddled with her face buried in her knees as the family looked
under and around the table, under the TV, behind the furniture, and
generally anywhere they could think of on the off chance the form had
fallen from the stack and become hidden. They'd had no luck.
Akane was looking through the small stack of useful forms just in case
they'd misplaced it there, and came across the coupon for a free wish.
Suddenly, her eyes widened. Part of her heart was screaming at her to
keep her mouth shut, but she said "Ranko? You know, if we can't find the
form, you can always use your wish coupon to get home."
Ranko's head snapped up, her eyes wide with shock. "You're... you're
right! I didn't think of that." A small smile took root on her face, and
slowly blossomed into something beautiful; Akane's heart gladdened.
"Thank you, Sis." The redhead sighed in relief.
Kasumi looked in from the kitchen. "Akane, would you mind clearing the
table off for me? Lunch is nearly ready."
Akane nodded. "Will do, Oneechan." She picked up the envelope the papers
had arrived in, and picked up a stack from the top of the "useless"
pile. Useless though they seemed, it was probably a really bad idea to
throw them out without being certain of that.
She stuck a thumb into the envelope to help spread it apart in order to
insert the papers with her other hand, and winced; she'd gotten a paper
cut from something inside. Curious, she put the papers down and pulled
the envelope open with both hands to look inside.
There was a lone piece of paper in the envelope.
Her hand trembling slightly, Akane reached in to withdraw the paper. It
didn't want to come out; it looked like it was stuck on some adhesive
from the envelope's flap. She coaxed it gently, and it came free. As she
scanned it, her face turned pale.
It was the form they had been looking for.
"Ran... Ranko?"
Ranko looked up, and felt her heart seize up as she saw Akane reading a
form, her face ashen. Slowly, Akane reached out and handed the form
over, fighting her desire to tear it to shreds. It wouldn't do any good
anyway; Ranko had her wish to use. And Akane couldn't do something like
that to her.
Ranko took the form, and gasped when she saw what it was. She read it
aloud, in a voice that was barely above a whisper:
/Form 109822942-SOR (Instructions for Return to Home Reality)/
/Congratulations! Your mission as a mortal auxiliary is complete. You
may stay for a few extra days if you like, but we recommend that you
return to your home reality soon. You will find that your presence in
another reality can easily cause disruptions for people who know your
counterpart there./
Ranko paused to sigh silently in agreement.
/Please collect all possessions you had with you when you arrived. Only
items that are actually on your person will return with you. If you
forget anything and leave it behind, you will not be able to retrieve it
later. You may leave things behind if you wish, and you are allowed to
take a small number of items from this reality with you as long as they
were lawfully obtained. The value of these items may not exceed 50,000
yen./
/Remember, you are expressly forbidden to transport objects massing more
than one million metric tons, including any celestial bodies, as well
any animal or plant that has mythical status in your home reality.
Examples of animals that are mythical in many realities include unicorns
and dragons. If you are unsure about a particular animal or plant,
consult an oracle./
/When you are sure you are ready to return, follow the instructions in
the box below. If you are prone to motion sickness, you may wish to take
some medication before your departure./
There was a large box on the form, which was mostly empty, except for
two lines of typewritten text:
/Say the words, "There's no place like home," and click your heels
together three times./
Several jaws hung open, and there was no sound in the room for a few
moments.
Finally, Ranko found her voice. "That's /it/?!" she shrieked. "/That's/
the powerful magic we've been searching for that will take me home?" She
lay the form on the table and put her head in her hands. "I don't
believe this..."
"Well," observed Nabiki, "I guess someone up there likes old movies."
There were a few chuckles.
Ranko started to brighten. Silly though it might be, she now had the
means to go home. All she had to do was follow these simple, insipid
instructions, and she'd be back with /her/ Akane... with /her/ mother...
with /her/ Ryouga. Her heart ached for home, and she could hardly wait
to go; she felt as if she could reach out and touch it. But a glance at
the grim expressions of Akane and her mother told her she couldn't go,
not just yet. Soon, though. Soon. A tear rolled down her cheek, which
did not escape Akane's notice.
She moved to help Akane clear the table, and soon Kasumi was serving
lunch. There was hardly any conversation, and Ranko, Akane, and Nodoka
didn't seem to have much appetite.
Akane was afraid to ask, but felt she had to. "Ranko, when... when are
you planning to leave?"
Ranko stared at the table for a while. "I... I promised Ranma one more
lesson. And I want to spend a little time with you, Sis. After that, I
think." She looked up, her eyes wet. "My family... they may not even
know what happened to me..."
Akane smiled through her own tears. "I know. You should go as soon as
you can." Akane had only faint memories of her mother's death, but she
remembered this feeling very well: the realization that she was about to
say goodbye forever to someone she loved.
*****
Ranma finished her last set of chords with a flourish and a wide grin,
and took a bow. This time, they'd been perfect.
Ranko grinned right back at her, and for a moment the two of them shared
something that didn't need to be put into words. "OK, I think that ought
to hold you until you can start seeing Kobayakawa-sensei. Don't wait too
long to see her, and keep practicing every day."
Ranma nodded, and started to put away her violin. She paused for a
moment, her eyebrows knit in a frown. "Does... does she know that you
used to be a guy?"
Ranko nodded. "Yes. It was all over the school, of course, and she
couldn't help finding out. She never saw me in boy form, though. By the
time I met her, I couldn't change any more."
Ranma was still lost in thought. "How... how'd she take it?"
Ranko smiled one of her Kasumi smiles. "Don't worry. She's a sweetheart;
she won't have any trouble with your curse." Ranma's face brightened,
and she nodded in relief. "You might want to demonstrate it the first
time you meet her, though, just so she knows who you really are. I'm
pretty sure she won't mind teaching you in whatever form works for you."
Ranma smiled. "Good. I didn't wanna haveta look for another sensei. She
sounds pretty good. Any chance you could introduce me to her?"
Ranko shook her head, smiling. "Ranma, she won't have any idea who I
am."
Ranma frowned; then his eyes widened. "Oh, right. I keep forgettin'."
Ranko turned to finish putting away her own violin, and spoke over her
shoulder. "Are you ready? It's time for your chat with Akane."
Ranma nodded nervously. "Yeah, I guess." She thought a moment, and her
posture changed subtly. "I mean, 'Yes, I think so.'"
Ranko straightened up. "Come on. Let's go in the storage closet."
Ranma blinked. "What for?"
"We have to swap clothes. And I mean /everything/."
Ranma stared. "But... but... you're a girl! You're gonna... gonna take
off..."
Ranko laughed. "If it were anyone but you, I wouldn't do this. But
you're me, and I'm you, and even though you're a boy and I'm a girl,
I... it just doesn't feel like that matters in this case. Especially
since you're a girl right now."
Ranma rubbed the back of her head, a little embarrassed. "I guess not."
They ducked into the storage closet, and a few minutes later two
redheads emerged. One was wearing Chinese clothes and had her hair in a
pigtail; the other was wearing a teal v-neck top, a jean skirt, and
hose, and her hair was unbound except for a hair ornament.
The one in Chinese clothes turned to the other. "Ready, kiddo?"
The other one swallowed. "As ready as I'll ever be. Let's go." They left
the dojo, carrying their violins, and walked back to the house. They
went to the living room, where the family was assembled.
Nodoka looked up and smiled. "How was your lesson, Dear?"
There was a short pause before the redhead in the Chinese clothes
replied, "Great, Mom! I'm gonna call up that sensei'a hers tomorrow, and
see if she'll take me as a student."
Nodoka turned to the other one. "You know, I wasn't sure about this to
start with, but I think this will be very good for Ranma. Thank you,
Dear."
The redhead in the jean skirt beamed. "You're very welcome, Mother." She
turned to Akane. "Sis? Do... do you have some time? I'd like to... to
talk to you."
Akane nodded, her face somewhat grim. She knew that Ranko planned to
leave soon afterwards. "Of course, Ranko. Let's go up to my room, OK?"
The girl with unbound hair nodded, and followed Akane up the stairs.
Genma looked up from the shogi board. "Aren't you going to change back,
Boy?"
The remaining redhead paused for a moment. "Think I'll go work out for a
bit before I take a bath."
Genma grinned. "That's the spirit! I'd join you but it would be rude to
walk away from this game. You go ahead."
The redhead snorted. "Sure, Pop. Whatever you say." She turned and
walked back towards the dojo.
*****
Akane pulled the door to her room closed behind her and went over to sit
on the bed. The redheaded girl who had followed her in hesitated, gazed
longingly at the doorknob, then went over and sat next to her.
They looked at each other for a long moment. Unbidden, tears welled up
in Akane's eyes. "So this is it, huh? Goodbye forever?"
The redhead's face showed pain as well. "Sis... I'm sorry. I... I don't
like seeing you unhappy. I wish there were something I could do."
Akane blinked; Ranko seemed to be speaking very deliberately, as if she
were carefully considering each and every word. She shook her head.
"It's my own fault. I never meant to get so close to you." She smiled
ruefully through her tears. "You made it so easy, though."
The redhead blushed. "I'm sorry about that."
Akane's face screwed up in pain. "Now I'll never see you again..."
The other girl reached out her hand, pulled it back, hesitant, then
reached out again and put it on Akane's shoulder. "But... but that's not
quite true. You have Ranma, don't you? He's... me." She said it almost
as if she were realizing it herself for the first time. "Otherwise you
would never have gotten so close to me so fast."
Akane bit her lip. "Well... you have a point, but I could never have a
conversation like this with that baka. I love him, but we can't seem to
go five minutes without starting to fight." She blinked again, as Ranko
grew very quiet and a strange series of emotions played out over her
face in rapid succession: amusement, anger, happiness, shame. She didn't
seem to know how to react. Akane couldn't understand; she'd just made a
simple statement, hadn't she? Why was Ranko so flustered by it?
The redhead seemed to be thinking furiously, and took a long time to
reply. "Are... are you sure? He might surprise you. If you love him...
if you're going to... to m-marry him, don't you need to be his friend,
too?"
Akane sighed, a long heavy sigh. "Of course I do, but... it's been the
same story the whole time I've known him. He always just says something
that gets my goat, and then..." she faltered, "and then I do the same
thing to him. I guess it's my fault, too."
The redhead blushed. "Maybe... you both need to work on it. I know the
things you say to him sometimes... h-hurt him, and he... he doesn't feel
like he can... admit that, because it's not... manly. But I've also seen
some of the things he does to you, and..." she lost her voice for a
moment, "and I think he's just starting to realize how those make you
feel." She was quiet for a while. "Like insulting you, or your cooking,
or... or refusing to take you seriously as a martial artist."
Akane pondered that. "I don't know. When he was so nice about the
birthday cake I made, even though it turned out so awful, I... that made
me feel really good. I wish he were like that all the time." She sighed.
"I know that in his heart he's just as sweet and generous as you are,
but he doesn't ever let it show through the way you do. I wish he could;
it's like he keeps his heart behind barbed wire, and it takes a crisis
to get it to come out." The shorter girl winced. "It took me a year to
figure that out. I'm beginning to think you're right, that he's very
insecure about his manhood. Every time he's about to open up, it's like
this 'that's not manly' reflex kicks in, and before I know it we're
fighting again." Her face was grim.
The other girl was silent for a while. "I... I... I think you might be
right." She averted her eyes. "Sometimes I think he needs to get away
from this... image he has of what he's supposed to be. I think that's
why he... why he uses his girl form so much." Her voice dropped to a
whisper. "He doesn't want to be a girl, but sometimes I think he gets
tired of being Saotome Ranma, man amongst men. Sometimes... he feels
trapped by what his parents and everyone else expect him to be." She
paused for a long moment. "And sometimes, being a girl is the only way
he knows how to do some things."
Akane's eyes were wide. "I wonder if that's why he thought he was a girl
when he hit his head that time? Maybe it was an escape. Did he tell you
about that?"
The shorter girl shook her head. "I don't think he knows himself why
that happened. You... you might be right."
Akane nodded slowly, then blinked. "He's been telling you all this? He
won't ever tell me things like this!"
The redhead sagged a little. "I... I think he feels safe telling me
things like this. We're the same person, after all." She smiled
nervously.
Akane bit her lip, the tears welling up again. "We're going to be
married, and... and he doesn't feel safe telling me what's hurting him.
How can we have a good marriage that way?"
The other girl shook Akane's arm a little. "That's why... why I think
it's important for... you guys to work on this. You have to learn to...
to trust each other. You both need to... open up."
"Yeah..." sighed Akane. "But where do we start?"
"A talk like this with him might be a good place."
"With /him/?" Akane frowned, but it soon faded. "I don't know... you do
seem to be having a good influence on him. He seems to be trying now.
Maybe... if we keep working on it..." she trailed off, lost in thought,
her eyes unfocused.
Finally she sighed and offered a sad smile. "Maybe he'll get there
eventually."
The redhead nodded. "I... I think he will. It may take him some time. It
took... me a few months, and I'm a... a girl."
Akane bit her lip. "I just wish it were sooner than months from now."
She looked the shorter girl in the eye. "Because even if he and I get to
be just as open with each other as you and I are right now, I'm..."
tears started to roll down her cheeks, "I'm still going to miss /you/."
"Why, Sis?"
Akane shook her head slowly. "B-because I love you too, Ranko. In a
different way than I love my Ranma, but I love you too, /because/ you're
Ranma. Just because you're so similar to my Ranma doesn't mean I won't
miss /you/." Her voice started to break. "And... and Auntie is about the
only person I could turn to for comfort, and she won't be able to help
because... because she's going to miss you too. And Ranma..." she
started to cry in earnest, "Ranma will probably just make fun of me for
missing you..."
The redhead looked on in frozen agony for a long time, seeming as if she
had turned to stone. Akane, sniffling, finally asked, "Ranko? W-what's
wrong?"
The other girl seemed to want very badly to say something, but couldn't
seem to bring herself to say it. She alternated between looking Akane in
the eye and opening her mouth as if to begin, and turning away, as if
she were afraid of doing so. Akane shook her head slowly, confused.
After a few repetitions of this, the redhead looked down for a long
moment, then looked up, and whispered "Akane?"
Akane grasped her hand. "What is it, Ranko? You can tell me. What's
bothering you so much?"
"Akane, I... I won't make fun of you. I don't want to hurt you anymore.
I swear it. I never /meant/ to hurt you."
Akane stared, bewildered. "I don't understand..."
The shorter girl closed her eyes briefly, as if to gather her courage.
"Akane, it's... it's me. R-ranma."
Akane's jaw fell open. "What are you saying? You can't be..." she
trailed off as the other girl fingered her earlobe, showing it off.
There was no hole in it. The skin was unbroken.
"/Ranma?!/" Rapidly growing anger clouded Akane's face, like a swiftly
gathering storm. "What... Just what are you trying to pull here? How
/dare/ you take advantage of me like this?!" She let go of Ranma's hand,
summoned her mallet and raised it high...
Ranma looked her square in the eye, pleading with her gaze. "Akane...
please. Please, let's /talk/. Please."
Akane looked into those startling blue eyes, and somehow, though she
knew it was Ranma, she couldn't help feeling she was still looking at
Ranko. She couldn't understand why. Her anger fizzled, and her mallet
with it.
She hunched her shoulders, and the tears came in torrents. "Why, Ranma?"
she sobbed, "/Why/? How could you /do/ this to me?!"
Ranma looked near tears herself. "Akane, I've wanted to talk to you this
way for a long time, but we weren't gettin' anywhere. Ranko and me, we
thought maybe if I pretended to be her, you and me could talk. Actually
talk. That maybe you could see me as a... a friend, too." She paused.
"And... pretendin' to be her made it a lot easier to... to say some'a
the things I needed to say. Like I said, there's some things I don't
know how to do any other way. It's kinda dumb, but it's true." A deep
crimson flush spread over her cheeks.
Akane was so shocked she stopped crying. "/Ranko/ was in on this? Wait a
minute, of course she was... if this is you, then... then that was her!"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah." A determined look came over her face. "Akane, I
don't wanna haveta be a girl to be your friend, but... but if that's
what it takes, then I'll /be/ a girl sometimes, dammit. 'Cause I
/haveta/ be your friend." Her gaze was earnest.
Akane's eyebrows shot up. "You... you mean you really meant everything
you said just now? It was all true? All the... all the things about how
you felt?"
Ranma blushed again and nodded. "Yeah. All of it. Every word."
Akane was crying tears of an entirely different kind now. "Oh, Ranma,
you baka! Of /course/ you don't have to be a girl to be my friend!" She
threw her arms around Ranma, who hugged her back fiercely. Again she had
the odd feeling that this was still Ranko.
"Maybe I need to practice this way for a while. Like with the violin."
They both laughed.
Akane pulled back, and smiled at the petite redhead who was smiling
nervously back at her. /The eyes/, she thought./ The eyes, and that
unsure little smile. They're the same. Exactly the same./
Maybe the reason that she was still seeing this girl as Ranko was that
in some important ways... that's who she was.
*****
A redheaded girl in Chinese clothing slipped into the dojo, and promptly
sagged against the wall, closing her eyes. She put her hand to her mouth
and took a deep breath, then let it out explosively. She hugged herself,
and sighed, "Kami-sama, that was scary."
"I thought Saotome Ranma wasn't afraid of anything?"
The redhead shrieked and jumped a foot in the air. She turned around to
find Nabiki eyeing her coolly.
"O... Nabiki! What're you doin' here?"
Nabiki smiled her cheetah-cornering-a-wildebeest smile. "Oh, just
wondering what's going on."
The shorter girl smiled nervously. "What's goin' on? There's nuthin'
goin' on! Nuthin' at all."
Nabiki's smile broadened. "Really? Then why did you have /Ranko's/
violin case, Ranma-/kun/?"
The other girl froze. "Heh. G-guess I just goofed. They look real
similar, right?"
Nabiki nodded. "Of course." She peered at the redhead's face. "And when
did you get your ears pierced? And grow bangs that need pinning back?"
The redhead sighed and slumped to a sitting position on the floor. "You
always could see right through me, Oneechan."
Nabiki joined Ranko on the floor. "You know, if I had any doubts that
you were the same person as Ranma, this harebrained scheme was enough to
erase them. That, and your performance. It was more than good enough for
everyone else. You would have fooled me, too, if you hadn't messed up on
the violin cases." She turned to look Ranko in the eye, but her look was
not predatory; it was one of intense curiosity. "You really /are/ him,
aren't you." It was a rhetorical question, but Ranko nodded anyway,
blushing and turning her gaze away from Nabiki.
"So what's this all about? Why did you guys switch places?"
Ranko grew subdued. "It's Akane. She's so upset about me leaving, and
she and Ranma have such a hard time getting along. We thought that if
Ranma could show her that he can be her friend the way I am... that they
would get along better, and she wouldn't miss me so much. We didn't
think she'd give him a chance unless he could get past her defenses."
She looked back to Nabiki, and cringed slightly. "You think it's a bad
idea, don't you?"
Nabiki grinned. "I didn't say that. I just said it was harebrained. It
just might work; it's worth a shot, at least. The worst that'll happen
is she'll brain him again." Nabiki startled her by putting an arm around
her and giving her a squeeze. "Thanks for trying to help the two of
them. You're a sweet kid." Ranko blushed furiously.
They sat for a few minutes, then Nabiki stood up and offered her a hand.
"Come on. You don't have to hide out here in the dojo. Let's go sit on
the porch and enjoy the sunshine. I'll run interference for you...
Ranma-kun."
The redhead took Nabiki's hand and stood up. "Geez, Nabiki. What's it
gonna cost me this time?"
Nabiki threw her head back and laughed. "Touche." They returned to the
house, and passed through the family room, settling down comfortably on
the porch.
Genma called from the shogi board, "I thought you were going to work
out, Boy! Are you slacking off?"
Nabiki turned and gave Genma a frigid look. "He's with me."
Genma narrowed his eyes. "What's this about?"
Nabiki smiled her best don't-mess-with-me-little-boy smile. "5000 yen."
Genma scowled, "Never mind." He turned his attention back to the game.
For a time, they enjoyed the warm sunshine that fell gently from the
cloudless sky, the songbirds serenading the yard with their welcome of
the change of seasons, the slow activity of the koi in the pond.
Ranko wondered idly if the weather in her world was the same right now;
she supposed she'd find out in an hour or two. Her mind drifted back to
what was waiting for her there, and she felt a sharp pang of
homesickness. She felt the urge to follow those simple instructions
right now, and fought it down; she'd be leaving soon enough.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed when Nabiki turned to look up
at the second story and remarked, "Well, 'Ranko' must be pulling it off.
I don't hear any sounds of violence."
The girl in the Chinese clothes nodded. "Looks like all we haveta do is
sit here and wait."
Just then, a young man vaulted over the wall of the Tendou compound. He
looked around, and his eyes fixed on Ranko, his face contorting in
anger. "At last I've found you, Saotome! You're going to pay for what
you did to me!"
Ranko closed her eyes briefly. Obviously, Ranma still had a source of
chaos in /his/ life. She hoped fervently that none of it followed her
home.
She stood up. "OK. Who're you, and what'd I do?"
The man snarled. "I'm Nagahara Masao! Don't pretend you don't remember,
you bastard! That day on the beach?" He took in the redhead's totally
bewildered look. "You /don't/ remember, do you, you scum! You flirted
with me, you got me to take you for ice cream! Do you know how
humiliated I was when I found out you were really a /guy/? My friends
all laughed their asses off!" While he was talking, the rest of the
family came out onto the porch to watch.
Ranko looked Nagahara over again; he appeared to be in his late
twenties. She glared at him in a decidedly unmanly fashion, and her
speech slipped. "And just what were you doing hitting on a high school
girl at /your/ age, if I might ask?" She was starting to think she
approved of Ranma's taking advantage of this jerk.
Nagahara--not to mention the parents and Kasumi--seemed taken aback by
the flash of feminine anger. "That's not important! What /is /important
is that I'm going to make you pay for it." He sneered. "I heard you were
a martial artist. Well, I got news for you, buster! I'm a martial
artist, too, and I challenge you!" He assumed a ready stance.
Ranko sighed; she couldn't very well sully Ranma's honor while playing
his part. "I accept your challenge." She assumed her own ready stance,
and eyed the man's sloppy posture; he was clearly a beginner.
Good--she'd be able to defeat him without hurting him too much. "So how
long have you been a martial artist, Nagahara-san?"
He started circling her slowly, in a comicly exaggerated way. "I've been
studying for a whole year, so you'd better watch out!"
She raised an eyebrow as he nearly stumbled over a small rock. "That
long, huh?"
He reddened. "Well, OK, it was part time. I was studying for my CPA
exam, and that took a lot of time. But I passed that two months ago, and
I've been spending a lot of time on martial arts since then!"
Ranko felt a buzzing sensation in her ears, and the world seemed to swim
slightly around her. "What... what did you say?"
Masao smirked. "I said, now that I'm a full-fledged CPA I've been
spending a lot more time on martial arts!" He was totally unprepared for
what happened next.
Saotome Ranma, martial arts master, put her fists to her mouth and
screamed like a woman.
/Ha,/ thought Masao. /He's obviously not as tough as I heard. They never
are./
*****
Akane and Ranma were smiling at one another when a scream of pure terror
came from outside. They let go of each other and stood up. The scream
was followed shortly by shrieks of "watch out!" and "be careful!" and
"don't do that!" The voice was a familiar one: Ranma's own.
Ranma's eyes widened. "That's Ranko! She's in trouble!" She flashed to
the window and was gone. Akane blinked, and ran for the stairs.
Ranma dashed across the roof, cursing the long, narrow denim skirt. /How
can she run in this damn thing? Guess she doesn't have to.../
She reached the edge facing the koi pond, and looked down to evaluate
the situation. There was a young man--who looked somewhat
familiar--chasing Ranko around the yard, while the family looked on,
stupefied. He was attacking her with the moves of a clumsy beginner, and
every time he threatened to stumble or overextend himself and pull a
muscle Ranko would shriek another warning.
Ranma had no idea what was going on, but she leapt down, tucking her
legs slightly to keep her skirt from turning into a parachute. She had a
moment to reflect sadly that not too many guys knew how to jump off a
roof wearing a skirt.
She landed in between Ranko and the intruder, who skidded to a halt, his
jaw falling open. Akane arrived on the porch a moment later.
Ranma spoke over her shoulder without turning around. "Why didn't you
just take care of this bozo yourself? You could do it blindfolded with
one hand tied behind your back!" The man scowled.
Ranko clutched at Ranma's shoulders and peeked over them from behind.
"But he's a /CPA/!" she wailed; tears started to trickle down her
cheeks.
Ranma tried to process that and failed. "So?"
"It was on the form! If I injure him in any way, I'll be... I'll be
/erased/! I'll have never even been born!"
The truth of the situation finally sank in for the rest of the family.
"/Ranko/?" gasped Nodoka, speaking for everyone. "/Ranma/?"
The intruder didn't like being ignored. "Get out of my way! This is a
fight between me and that lousy coward Ranma. I guess you must be his
sister or something, but this is none of your business!"
Ranma stepped forward, her fists balled. "Who're you callin' a coward,
jackass? /I'm/ Ranma. /She's/ Ranko! What the hell are you lookin' for
me for, anyway?"
The man boggled, then resumed glaring. "Nagahara Masao. The beach. That
triple hot fudge sundae."
Ranma furrowed her brow, then broke into a smile. "Oh yeah. Thanks. It
was /yummy/." She patted her stomach and batted her eyelashes coyly.
Nagahara snarled and charged, and suddenly found himself lying on his
back, the wind knocked out of him. Ranma's petite foot was planted on
his chest. How had /that/ happened? He hadn't even seen her move!
"Look, bozo, /you/ were hittin' on /me/, even though you're ten years
older. /You/ offered to buy me ice cream. All I did was say 'yes.' And
now you're goin' around attackin' innocent people." Ranma increased the
pressure of her foot on the man's chest. "People who can't fight back."
Akane hurried over to embrace Ranko, who was still trembling from fear
of what might have happened. Suppose Nagahara hadn't mentioned his
profession? She felt faint.
Ranma noticed that Nagahara was staring up at her in a peculiar way, but
she couldn't figure out why. He nodded curtly. "All right. I yield."
Ranma stepped back, and Nagahara got to his feet. He turned to Ranko and
bowed slightly. "I'm sorry, Miss. You look just like your sister." He
turned to Ranma. "And my asshole friends told me you were a /guy/.
That's why I got mad. I'm really sorry, I guess they were pulling my
chain."
Ranma growled again. "I /am/ a guy!"
Masao frowned, confused. "Really? I mean, I heard about the curse, so I
can understand the swimsuit at the beach. But if you're a guy, why are
you wearing a skirt now? Not to mention pink striped panties..."
A moment later, he was a dwindling dot in the azure spring sky, Ranma's
and Akane's fists raised in salute to his departure. Ranko blushed
scarlet; it was /her/ underwear Nagahara had been peeping at, even if
Ranma was wearing it at the moment. She shivered and relaxed a bit.
"Thanks, guys." She managed a nervous smile. "I would have done that
myself if I could." They all started to laugh.
Nodoka marched over, and the laughter died. "Ranma." Her tone was stern.
Ranma felt her blood turn to liquid nitrogen. "Y-yeah, Mom?"
"I want to see you and Ranko in the dojo. Now. I'd like both of you to
explain why my manly son is wearing... pink striped panties."
*****
End Chapter 5
Monday, January 1, 2001