The characters of the Ranma 1/2 universe are the
creation and possession of the brilliant
Rumiko Takahashi. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi
and her licensees (Shogakukan Inc., Kitty-Fuji
TV, Viz Communications Inc.) No copyright
infringement is intended.
******************************************************
Bitter Interlude at Ranko's Woeful Encampment
beside the Bottling-Plant of Cursed Water.
At last he'd won. Chortling snidely to himself,
Ryouga wrapped length after length of heavy iron chain
around the slender limbs of his enemy. He ignored her
mewling pitiful cries for mercy, the same way he
ignored how her flaming red hair looked spread across
the jet black volcanic sand of the deserted yet lushly
tropical island he'd lured her to; the same
way he ignored how her pert breasts yearned toward the
sun, high in the sky, that was slowly toasting her
warm flesh a golden brown without causing an unsightly
burn.
One more thing to hate her for, he thought, as he
tugged her arms and legs farther apart, till her nude
body was stretched painfully tight.
"Ryouga . . .what are you doing? Let me go."
"Let you go." Ryouga gave a harsh bark of laughter,
scowling in a way that brought his rugged yet not
unhandsome masculine features into stark relief.
Against his will the helpless cursed, pig-tailed,
usually-Chinese-clad martial-artist found himself
feeling feelings he'd never felt before.
"Let you go;" Ryouga repeated, clenching one scarred
fist in anguish, his features darkening at some
private and unnameable sorrow that made Ranma want to
soothe his brow and run her hands over his broad
muscular shoulders.
"Let you go?" Ryouga spat, his disgust and all
consuming hatred burning a hole through the air, like
a
flaming arrow aimed right at Ranma's guts.
"Let you go!" Ryouga was grimly amused at the
thought. "After all the trouble I went to to lure you
here with a false map that was supposed to show the
location of the Lost-Bottling-Plant-of-Mu? Lost for
thousands of years but to which I happened to find a
map showing it's location?" He threw back his head and
laughed heartily, wiping the manly sweat off his brow
with an eternal head-band of spotted dragon-spider
silk, worn only by the High-Adepts of the ancient
black-art of Haberdashery-Fu. He began closing off
the entrance to the cave with the enchanted bricks
that had been left on the island after the Spells-R-Us
dot-com failure.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Ranma's perky yet
petite bosom heaved in futile defiance, a trickle of
perspiration running down her taut, tanned stomach and
between her silken thighs into the forest of dusky red
curls that protected the sweetly feminine core of her
woman-hood. "Is it because I taunted you all those
years? Do you hate me because I have a home, a fianc^�
and a sense of direction? My rugged masculine
good looks that drive women----"
"None of those things," Ryouga stopped laying
enchanted bricks, peering through the rapidly closing
hole at his helpless foe.
"It's because you're cursed to become a piglet,
isn't
it?" Ranma wept bitter tears, knowing this was the
end.
"Cursed?" Ryouga's sardonic laughter rang out like
the nine-thousand-iron-bells of Charon-Under-the-
Mountain.
"What you call a curse is the very source of my
strength and power!" He whipped out a magic scroll,
written in ancient Ebonics. Across the front, in 31
point Times-New-Roman, was scribed the title:
Pig-Fu: The secret source of strength and power of
the Pork-Chop.
"If it's not that," Ranma sniveled in a cowardly
way,
"then why do you hate me?" A tear rolled down her
perfect cheek, emphasizing her high proud breasts and
rounded womanly hips.
"Don't you recognize me----," Ryouga thrust his face
toward the small opening still left in the
impenetrable wall he was building to eternally
imprison his hated enemy."----Brother!"
"B . . .brother?"
"YES!" Ryouga ripped off his dark wig, a cascade of
Titian hair falling over his creamy-white shoulders.
"It is I----Ranko-ko, your long-lost illegitimate
half sister. Saotome Nodoka seduced and abandoned my
father Gourry. Due to a tragic pasta accident,"
Ranko-ko's face darkened in remembered pain, "I was
left to grow up alone in the wilds of East-
Jersey----"
This awful news forced a cry of sympathy from
Ranma, who's belly was filled with a strange heat,
listening to this tragic story.
"----until I was taken in by a tribe of Shriners and
taught how to forage in the salad-isle of Denny's."
Ranko-ko smoothed the tight crimson-leather chignon,
that fit her like a second skin, with her slender
right hand. "I swore I would avenge myself against you
and your family."
"And killing me is going to avenge your loss?"
"NOT just killing you," Ranko-ko tossed her long red
locks over her shoulder, her bright green eyes
flashing with passion. "I'm also going to take your
life from you. I will be Saotome Ranma."
"It will never work. You're a girl."
"That's why it WILL work," Ranko-ko's low laugh
slid along the ground like a beautiful but deadly
snake. "Like all Japanese girls, Akane is a homicidal
lesbian who can only orgasm as she cracks a male skull
with a rice-mallet while simultaneously fantasizing
about making love to her sisters and at least two
other girls who hate her. In my guise as an
aquatically trans-gendered boy trapped in a girls body
she will
feel free to express her desires."
"Akane will know you're not me."
"Not so. Even now she is in the thrall of a mystic
enchantment that makes her believe she is married to
an
American High School teacher and living in Scranton
Ohio----
"Noooooooooo!" Ranma wailed, unable to believe
such cruelty existed in the world.
" ----and at exactly twelve-sixteen on Tuesday the
sixteenth she will fling herself off the top of a high
building in Nerima. I will stand below and catch her,
thus ensuring she will be eternally grateful----"
"Ummm . . .today's the sixteenth."
"What? No it's not. It's Monday the----" A strange
looked passed over Ranko-ko's face and she mumbled to
herself, counting on her fingers. "Accursed
international date-line. Oh well . . .Kasumi's a
better cook. And now----," Ranko-ko pressed the final
brick into place with a look of malignant glee. "Live
forever in darkness!"
"Uhhhh . . ." Ranma peered at the wide expanse of
brick that sealed the cave forever. " Shouldn't you
have been on the _outside_?"
"Damn . . ."The mountain shuddered from ki-
explosions that became fainter and fainters as they
moved ever deeper into the bowls of the earth.
No sense of direction at all, Ranma sighed, rattling
her chains. I'm a girl, I'm naked and I'm chained to a
rock on a deserted island. My life can't get any
worse.
"Hi darlin'. My name's Ataru."
=====
"When I get a little money, I buy books;
And, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."-Erasmus
"A man is a small thing, and the night is large
and full of wonders." -Lord Dunsany
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