Chorus of Ryouga and Ukyou Fan Fic List <ru_chorus@egroups.com>
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Assorted Filler Episodes ^_^
"Master Tofu," the old woman called out. "A
patient for you!" Then the woman returned to her
errands as a healer's servant, leaving Akane to regard
the...lump, that was her fiancee. She colored
guiltily as she considered how he had got that way.
*******
"How dare HE call me hideous!!!" Akane demanded
angrily at the barely conscious young man before her.
"Akane," Nabiki said nervously.
"WHAT!" The younger Tendo demanded.
"The other illusion wasn't of you," Nabiki
admitted.
"Huh? Then who..." she glanced at the groaning
figure she had just hammered into the ground. "Uh..."
"That's right," Nabiki said. "You just beat
somebody up for objecting to suggestive pictures of
themselves."
"Nabiki!!" Akane growled and stepped toward her.
"I think I'll take Little Kuno out of here before
that ring of his wakes him up," Nabiki said quickly,
backing away from her sister and grabbing the still
unconscious Kuno. "I'll be right back." Then her
sister was gone.
"Honestly," Akane said, angry. Then she looked at
Ranma and considered. "How does that spell go again?"
Nabiki was quite a ways around the corner when the
screaming started again.
"Sounds like Akane still hasn't figured out healing
magics yet," Nabiki sighed.
*******
"Hmmmmm," Tofu looked over the mangled and charred
boy on his cot. "This is astounding."
"This slice here is nothing," Tofu pointed to where
Kuno had managed to hit Ranma. "Comapared to these
other burns and bruises! This is brutal!"
"Uh," Akane stared down at the floor, her face
crimson.
"What kind of monster did this?" Tofu asked turning
to the the embarrassed priestess. The sound of a
clearing throat brought the attention to Ranma.
"The girl did it," Ranma said weakly. "She belongs
in an orc tribe."
"RANMA!" Akane grabbed the cot and dumped the
bed-ridden martial artist painfully to the ground.
"Just try and say that again!" Then she noticed Tofu
staring at her and dropped the cot. "Oh."
"Did you do this Akane?" he asked.
"Um...well..." Akane poked her fingers together.
"...that is..."
~Now she does the sweet, innocent bit,~ Ranma
thought irritably. Tofu whapped the now empty cot and
suddenly laughed.
"Well, it figures!" Tofu said. "I had a feeling."
Akane and Ranma were nonpulsed and then Tofu had the
young man on the cot again and started to work on his
injuries. "The way this joint is out of place, and
these burn marks here, that's Akane's touch all
right!"
~I wonder if he knows if its where I tried to heal
him,~ Akane wondered as Tofu proceeded to snap Ranma
back into proper shape, complete with Ranma's
surprised and pained yelps.
"You're Ranma, aren't you," Tofu said. "I hear
your Akane's fiancee."
"It's an arranged marriage," Akane said angrily.
She didn't really have much of a position to argue
from. Arranged marriages were hardly rare any longer,
it didn't make her happy however.
"Well..." Tofu said and then glanced at the
somewhat struggling Ranma. "...It is early yet,
neither of you probably know much about each other."
"I don't WANT to know him," Akane snapped.
"That HURTS you know!" Ranma shouted before any
other conversation could go on.
"Oh?" Tofu said. "Someplace still hurts, show me."
"Uh..." Ranma paused and took stock of his
condition. "I'm okay? I'm all better now!"
"Isn't he a great healer?" Akane asked.
"Not even a mark on me!" Ranma said. Akane
twitched as Ranma's odd fixation on a perfect
appearance reared its head again. "Cool!" Neither
noticed Tofu paying close attention to Ranma.
~He looks similar to that girl,~ Tofu noted.
"Ranma you don't feel ill at all do you, no lingering
nausea, headaches?"
"I'm a little lightheaded, but that's because I
didn't sleep well," Ranma scratched his head. "Why
would I..." He looked around and rethought that
statement in his head. ~Why would someone else THINK
I should be sick? Oh shit, the protection spells, he
suspects.~ "NO! Not sick! Not sick at all, perfectly
fine. Nothing to bother me around here!" He shouted
waving his hands desperately. Tofu arched an eyebrow
and considered the young man's behavior.
"Hey, stop it!" Akane snapped, whacking him on the
back of his head. "You're embarrassing me." Neither
noticed Tofu quietly making subtle gestures. Ranma
should have noted a little magic gathering, but he was
momentarily concentrated on Akane.
"Uh...heh, sorry" Ranma scratched the back of his
head, as the fight died down and he turned toward Tofu
again. "Well, excuse me, we should be going." Ranma
edged his way to the door watching Tofu cautiously,
the healer waved as Ranma exited. It was an odd wave,
but Ranma didn't know why. Akane watched him angrily
as he left, then she turned to Tofu.
"My apologies, Master Tofu," she said. "The idiot
can't seem to remember what manners are."
"I did say something to excite him a little," Tofu
admitted.
"Like what?" Akane asked curiously. She hadn't
heard him say anything distressing.
"Watch yourself around him," Tofu said.
"You don't think he'd try anything," Akane asked
nervously. "Do you?"
"Maybe not him," Tofu said, the entire "not sick"
display and how it took Ranma a moment to figure out
what Tofu was asking struck him as somewhat naive. It
could all be an act, of course, but Tofu didn't think
so. "But he strikes me as someone bound for an
interesting life."
"I'll keep an eye out," Akane promised him. "At
least until I can get out of this marriage and he
leaves." Akane bowed deeply and began to go after her
fiancee. "Thank you again, Master."
*******
"HEY!! GET BACK HERE!!"
Ranma glanced back towards the clinic and cringed
as Akane rushed towards him.
"I guess that means that its time to leave," Ranma
whispered sadly. He paused to face what he thought
was going to be an attack. When Akane stopped short
of him he almost fell to the ground in surprise.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Akane
demanded.
"Huh?" Ranma blinked in confusion. Didn't the
healer tell her what he was. Or at least what he
seemed to think Ranma was.
"Just why were you so rude to him!?" Akane
repeated.
"I wasn't rude," Ranma insisted. "I just...needed
to...umm...get home."
"Nevermind," Akane said, anger deflating somewhat.
She usually felt a little depressed after seeing Dr.
Tofu. This time, however, he had actually talked to
her like an equal. "Just try not to embarrass me
again." Some part of Ranma noted the missing phrase
"in front of him," and he bridled.
"Uh huh," Ranma shrugged. "As if it ain't
embarrassing enough just being you." Akane stopped
and twitched. "Were you adopted? Your sisters don't
seem to have any orc blood."
"THAT'S! IT!!!" Akane shouted.
*******
"Well, if I'm right about him, it should be any
time now," Tofu said drinking his tea. "I'll have to
ask if anything happened later."
*******
Akane swung outward with her new warhammer towards
Ranma. The martial artist effortlessly dodged,
casually sticking out his tongue, and then collapsed
to the ground. Akane blinked as he hit the ground.
"Wha?" Ranma asked, confused.
"What happened?" Akane asked, obvious concern on
her face.
"My legs!" Ranma explained. Then he narrowed his
eyes. ~That lousy jerk! He cast some sort of spell
on me while I was distracted.~ Ranma's musings ceased
as he noticed Akane kneeling in front of him and
grabbing his arm over her shoulder.
"Ryoko's Gems," Akane swore.
"What are you doing?" Ranma demanded.
"Piggyback," Akane explained over her shoulder.
"You can't walk, can you?"
"You can't expect ME to let YOU carry me around!"
Ranma shouted. Akane scowled and considered the
reason.
"This is some sort of man thing," Akane growled.
"Isn't it?"
"Yes!" Ranma decided after a moment's pause. "You
think MAN would put up with this humiliation?" The
next thing Ranma knew, he was a she. Hot water may
have been relatively difficult to come by, but a
little colder water was only a spell away. As Ranma
discovered.
"So its okay if we're both girls then?" Akane asked
dryly. Ranma tried to find an excuse he could fall
back on and found none that would be safe.
"Yeah," Ranma said reluctantly. "Okay." Akane
rolled her eyes but picked up the redhead anyway.
Ranma stared off into the sky as Akane carried her
home and pushed what to do about Tofu back in her
mind.
It didn't take long for Ranma to decide that the
situation was nice. Not so much the being carried, as
that somebody was actually concerned enough about her
to do it. She leaned her head against Akane's back
and yawned.
~Why can't she be this nice all the time?~ Ranma
wondered wearily.
"Hey, don't make me do all the work," Akane snapped
as Ranma went completely lax on her back. She was
about to add more when her package started to snore.
"Idiot."
*******
"You're getting soft, boy!" Genma shouted from
across the the courtyard. Ranma growled at the title.
"What do you know about it, Old Man!" Ranma
demanded. "It ain't like you've never come back from
'hunting' looking like a rag doll."
"I've never had to be carried back," Genma pointed
out, leaping into the air with a loud shout. Ranma
rolled his eyes and leapt to meet his father in the
air. Ranma's extended leg was gripped between his
fathers as they met.
"Master Saotome," Kasumi called out. "Ranma!
Breakfast?!"
"Ah! Thank you.." Genma shouted out, neglecting to
pay attention as Ranma altered their trajectory and
arrangement. "...dear Kas..."
Genma's shout was cut off by a loud splash. Then
Ranma-chan was walking out of the small koi pond
irritably shaking some of the water off. The woman,
now that she was wet, was dragging her panda father
from the pond. She looked down at herself, dumped the
panda and irritably walked back into the estate.
"I've got to go change," she said irritably.
Behind her the panda stood up cleared its head and
walked to the breakfast table, sparing a glare for his
progeny. Ranma turned back to face him as the panda
produced a sign.
#I have arranged some temporary employment.#
Genma's sign read.
"Going to join another carnival, Pop?" Ranma asked.
#That was only once!!# Genma signed back. Ranma
shrugged as she turned a corner. As soon as she was
certain she was out of sight she stripped her tunic
off.
"So Ranma, morning workout, huh?" Soun asked as he
came down the hall the otherway, not yet noticing that
the person he was talking to couldn't see him for the
shirt in her face. "Atta boy! Atta-"
Soun opened his eyes as Ranma finally pulled the
shirt off and became aware of the other person in the
hallway.
There was about one second of silence.
"What are YOU staring at!!" Ranma's voice shouted,
Soun was non-responsive as an angry Ranma reared back
her hand, and was pelted with hot water.
"Have you no feminine modesty!" Akane shouted.
"There was no one here when I started taking the
shirt off!" Ranma-kun retorted.
"And why are you taking off your clothes in the
middle of the building!" Akane demanded nearly shoving
Ranma's overtunic in his face.
"Well excuse me for not being used to these
things," Ranma snapped back gesturing around at the
walls. He wringed out the wet tunic and before
setting it on his knee and putting the dry shirt on,
he'd drop the wet shirt on his way back to breakfast.
"By the way, Akane," Kasumi said as they entered
the room again. "Could you stop by Master Tofu's."
Akane immediately swallowed nervously while Ranma
narrowed his eyes. "I borrowed this book from him,
and I'd like you to return it."
"Could you...um...do it yourself Kasumi?" Akane
asked sweetly, drawing a confused glance from Ranma.
"Today just....isn't good for me."
"Really?" Kasumi asked. "I guess I'll have to."
"I could do it," Ranma suggested. "And besides I
know Akane is dying to go." He added the last somewhat
under his breath, but Akane didn't miss it. She
growled in his direction.
"Father?" Kasumi asked, losing track of the other
conversation. "Are you okay, you seem a little
dazed."
"Come on, Ranma," Akane snapped. "We'll be late."
She grabbed his pigtail and strated running out the
door, Ranma managed to snag a leg of lamb as he was
pulled away.
"What are you so heated up about?" Ranma asked
curiously. Akane merely growled as they passed a
small house and some little old woman dumped out the
cleaning water in their path.
"Ohhh, YUCK!!" Ranma shouted. "Akane! Hold it!
Hold on a moment!"
"Oh, just shut up!" Akane snapped back. She rushed
into Furinkan Hall's gate and then turned to slam
Ranma into the wall. Ranma took the impact in stride,
she hadn't really been slammed hard after all, and
looked up at Akane in surprise.
~What's with her,~ Ranma thought. The young woman,
again, watched Akane wondering what she was doing.
"Listen you, why don't you keep your big mouth
shut!?" Akane shouted angrily. ~Okay, why is he
staring at me like that.~
"What do you mean 'big mouth?'" Ranma asked
sweetly. Akane merely ignored the cuteness Ranma was
instinctively pouring out.
"I mean about Master Tofu and --" Akane stopped as
she took in Ranma's altered appearance and the
somewhat greasy water covering her. She stared at
Ranma's chest for a moment and then opened her tunic
to double check. "When...when did?"
"I told you to wait," Ranma said in response. She
wasn't exactly certain what to do at this point.
She'd had one or two dreams like this, though as many
ended like the Kuno dream as they did happily. ~She's
confusing me again.~
The succubus instincts fought a valiant but futile
battle against the bulk of Ranma's personality, and
took the felling blow when a large number of male
courtiers stared over Akane's shoulder and chorused.
"Ooooooo!"
"HEY!! STOP STARING AT ME!!" Ranma shouted as
Akane whipped around in prepartion for battle.
~Ohh....I am going HUNTING tonight!!"
"So!" Akane declared, hefting her hammer. "Who's
first today?"
"Akane," a tearful noble started. "We shall no
longer challenge you."
"Instead," a guard next to him indicated. "We
shall swallow our sobs..."
"And give our approval..."
"To your betrothal to Ranma!!"
"What in the name of..." Ranma started to ask from
behind Akane.
"Close your tunic and quit hiding behind me!" Akane
snapped. "Now what in the name of..."
"So then," a now familiar voice proclaimed. "You
have all heard this rumor, this falsehood that Ranma
Saotome defeated me!"
"Great, he looks better than I do," Ranma muttered
angrily, upset at her own currently grimy appearance
and Kuno's prestine one. "Stupid ring, he should be a
mass of bruises still."
"Sir Kuno does not admit defeat!" Kuno declared.
"Kuno was this city's greatest fighter," someone
explained.
"Yeah! And the greatest freak!"
"FREAK?!!" Kuno repeated angrily, seeking out the
offender.
"If it is Ranma that you have chosen," someone
said. "Then we shall give up."
"They don't know a real freak when they see one,"
Akane whispered to Ranma with a small laugh. She
paused a moment as Ranma winced and looked at her with
a hurt expression. Akane thought seriously about
apologizing before Kuno spoke up again.
"Kuno shall not give up!" Kuno declared. "A
hundred kicks, two hundred, from a coward like
Ranma...do not even itch!" Ranma-chan shook angrily
and stepped forward.
"Freak, coward," she said quietly staring at the
ground, then whipping up to glare at Kuno. "WHO DO
YOU THINK YOU ARE!!?! You LOST, just admit it!"
"Ranma, watch it," Akane warned him.
"It is my pig-tailed demoness!" Kuno declared in
surprise. Ranma winced and glanced about to see if
anybody had noticed the name Kuno had given her.
"You just can't remember can you?" Akane asked
dryly, thinking Ranma had forgotten he was a woman
again.
"How I have pined to see you!" Kuno declared, a
decidely rosy scent drifting through the scene as he
grabbed Ranma-chan's hands.
"Hold on here," Ranma snapped. "Don't you like
Akane?"
"Of course I do," Kuno said.
"She's right here you know," Ranma noted angrily.
They both turned to see Akane turned away from them.
"Hey! Where're you going?"
"Please, Upperclassman Kuno," Akane said seriously.
"If you really love this woman, I won't stand in your
way." Ranma stared at Akane wide-eyed in shock, and
then her eyes narrowed, enraged.
"Oh! Akane, Akane..." Kuno sighed piteously.
"AKANE!! What are you DOING!!?" Ranma demanded
angrily.
"'I won't stand in your way,' so noble. so
touching," Kuno said dramatically. "So sweet! Oh,
Akane! How can I discard you? I love you BOTH!"
Kuno lunged forward, into a fist and a foot from two
enraged females. This was immediately followed by a
pair of uppercuts that sent Kuno into the
stratosphere.
"Well, we've said our peace," someone in the horde
said.
"Give our congratulations to Ranma."
"When I...uh...see him," Akane said. She reached
out to direct Ranma toward the court. "Su.."
"Don't touch me!" Ranma snapped, shrugging off
Akane's hand and stalking off angrily. Akane blinked
and then followed after her.
"Look, I'm sorry about the freak comment," Akane
said catching up to her. "It was supposed to be a
joke. Though you don't have any place complaining to
me about that while you're calling me an orc."
"Fine, you're not an orc," Ranma said without
stopping. "Just a berserk." Then the red head took a
leap to one of the battlements. Akane watched her
land, trying not to admit she was impressed, and tried
to figure out what Ranma was mad about.
"What's that jerk's problem," Akane asked.
"I don't believe you just did that, Akane." The
voice came from behind Akane and the battle-priestess
turned to see Sayuri and Yuka walking up behind her.
The two lady's in waiting seemed mildly angry.
"You of all people!" Yuka agreed with her friend.
"Of course that girl is mad at you, I'd be too!"
"What are you talking about?" Akane asked. "What
did I do?"
"You practically fed her to Kuno!" Sayuri snapped.
"That's what!"
"H..She can handle Kuno, no problem," Akane
replied, waving off the objection. If Ranma were
female she might have considered it, but Ranma was a
guy. Though she had to admit he acted otherwise
sometimes.
"There's a principal involved here," Yuka said.
"Didn't you see her face?"
"You might as well have kicked her through a wall
or something," Sayuri nodded.
"You aren't saying she took that seriously?" Akane
asked.
"You should apologize," Yuka suggested seriously.
Sayuri nodded silently behind her.
"Fine, I'll apologize," Akane said, giving up.
"Whatever." ~The jerk is probably just trying to make
me feel guilty.~
"By the way, where is Ranma?" Sayuri asked.
"He's around," Akane said nervously.
*******
Ranma glanced around nervously to see if anybody
was around the baths. It would be a couple of hours
before anybody showed up to use the magically heated
baths, but it wouldn't do to have someone walk in on
her. Satisfied that she was alone she temporarily
shut off the trigger spell as she slipped into the
warm water and sighed.
Washing was so much easier when there was less area
to cover. She sighed comfortably and curled up in the
hot water. It also felt a lot better to vent while
she was female. Crying over things when she was a guy
just tended to invite more problems.
"Just like Pop," Ranma said quietly. "Didn't even
stop to think about it."
"This isn't a good way to keep a cover," an amused
voice said as the water started to shift. Ranma
frowned as the speaker dropped the illusion and Nabiki
sat down across from her.
"How did you.."
"How did I know?" Nabiki asked. "How much are you
willing to pay me?" Ranma narrowed her eyes and
watched the Metallium cautiously.
"So what is this," Ranma asked. "Are you going to
try to play the Game now?"
"I'm not interested in magical bindings," Nabiki
said in response Ranma's reference to the Summoner's
Game. "Much too unsubtle for my tastes. By the way,
don't judge Akane too harshly, she thinks you're soul
is completely male, remember?"
"And that makes selling me out okay?" Ranma
demanded. "I ain't gonna do nothing to her if that's
what you're worried about."
"No, I think its just time that you and I came to
an arrangement," Nabiki smiled.
"Uhh," Ranma swallowed nervously. "I don't
really....um...have...any..err.. experience,
with...that."
"I'm not asking for sex, Ranma, just a favor now
and again," Nabiki interrupted him. Ranma looked
visibly relieved. "But did I understand properly that
you are a VIRGINAL succubus?"
"I'm only half-succubus," Ranma insisted quietly as
Nabiki erupted into loud laughter.
*******
"Are you mad about me getting out of Kuno's way?"
Akane asked, as she was walking home with Ranma later.
"You think?" Ranma asked dryly.
"It's not like you can't beat Kuno with both hands
tied behind your back," Akane said in response,
moderately angry that she wasn't that good. "And its
not like you're really a woman."
"I guess that makes it all right then," Ranma said
quietly.
"I'm sorry, okay?" Akane said irritably. "I didn't
think you'd take it so seriously."
"Yeah, okay," Ranma said. ~You're entitled to one
mistake at least, ain't like you dropped me in a pit
of...~ Ranma shivered as he remembered that event.
"'Yeah, okay?' Look, I'm really apologizing here!"
Akane insisted.
"I accept already," Ranma snapped turning to face
her.
"Yeah right, that was heartfelt," Akane hmphed and
rolled her eyes. The conversation paused as Master
Tofu suddenly danced past them in the street along
with his skeleton.
"Was that...?" Ranma started, then he turned to see
Akane slump and then rush away without saying
anything. "Hey! Akane!" Ranma caught up to her
quickly and then found himself thrown into a wall,
when he looked up she was gone.
*******
Akane smashed the rocks in front of her and kneeled
down quietly, not noticing the pig-tailed martial
artist watching from behind her and around the corner.
She sobbed once and let out her breath.
~She's crying, over that mage acting silly?~ Ranma
thought. As he watched Akane stood up and walked to
the estate wall and leaned against it.
~Can't let it hurt me,~ Akane sighed. She opened
her eyes to see Ranma making a face at her. "What do
you want?!" Akane demanded slamming him to the ground.
"Okay, you don't seem to depressed," Ranma said
standing back up, and dusting himself off.
"You want me to believe that you were trying to
cheer me up?" Akane demanded.
"What's so surprising about that?" Ranma asked.
"Besides, I thought you'd be happy to see him again.
What was with that mage anyway?"
"Master Tofu is already in love with someone,"
Akane said sadly. "He gets that way when he sees
her."
"Oh, sorry," Ranma said. "Can't say I know what
that's like, but sorry anyway."
~Why's he being so nice if he's still mad at me?~
Akane wondered. "Thanks for the sympathy anyway. Now
are you still interested in cheering me up?"
"Ummm...why?" Ranma asked. Akane pointed toward
the training hall.
*******
Ranma walked into the guestroom to find his father
studying a tome of some sort. Ranma leaned his head
over as he approached the panda.
"What happened to your neck, Pop?" Ranma asked.
#The new job has unforeseen hazards,# the answering
sign read.
"Whatever, I have to go out," Ranma said. "I'll be
back later." The panda waved as Ranma left the room
again.
*******
Akane watched as Ranma left on another of his
nightly walks, one of these times she was going to
follow him and see what he did. Right now she was
still to confused and annoyed by the day. She thought
back to the cheap trick he had used to win their spar.
~Does he really think I'm cute when I smile?" Akane
asked herself.
=====
"Caffeinated Kender? What's that, a berserk spell?" -
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother
http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html
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