First, I would like to say that if you dislike
fanfiction you should not be here. This list is for
FAN fiction, not ORIGINAL fiction and so 'Bakayarou'
was out of place to begin with.
Secondly, I did not C&C 'Bakayarou' because I did not
like it. I do not like to C&C things I actively
dislike on the grounds that ripping something apart
for no reason, without any points of favour, does no
good whatsoever.
But I will say this:
1) the story would work *MUCH* better in manga form.
It seems to rely heavily on visuals and that is
something scripts, no matter how detailed, just can't
convey.
2) the story in itself seems rather conventional. Boy
hero is unbearably attractive to the opposite sex for
no discernable reason (Tenchi Effect, cf also Ranma,
Mizuhara Makoto, et al), goes to train with peverted
old master (Dragonball, Ranma, Rurouni Kenshin) and
must compete for his place against stock rivals (who
you may as well have named Kunou, Ryouga and Jinpei).
I advise that you work with your premise further.
In short, I have no desire whatsoever to read this
story in its current form and storyline.
Raye
=====
raye_j@yahoo.com
http://members.tripod.com/raye__1/
I believe in dragons, unicorns, good men
and other mythical creatures.
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