Ranito

By Louise McCrowe



The living room was silent, Nabiki sitting at the table, going

over some papers.  At her side, a book was open, Nabiki glancing

at it occasionally.  She went back and forth between the book

and the papers, jotting down something every once in a while, a

look of concentration plastered on her face.  She lowered her

head a bit, rubbing her eyes with her left hand.  A sigh escaped

her lips, soft and weary, as the pencil tapped the paper in a

slow, rhythmic manner.  Up and down, the pencil went, up and

down, up and down, and up...



Nabiki let out a low grunt of frustration, throwing the pencil

across the room.  Before the pencil hit the wall, it was caught

by a figure that was hidden in the shadows until now.



"Eh, ten cuidado, muchacha," the figure said, "podr�a haberme

equivocado y pensado que lo hiciste a prop�sito."  She walked

closer, coming into the light. "Bueno, no me importa," she

continued, "dime, �donde est� mi novio?  �D�nde est� Ranma?"



"Ay, dios m�o �Ranma tiene adem�s otra novia?" Nabiki said,

incredulous.



"�Qu�? Pe-Pero �no! Soy yo, �Champ�!  �Eres tonta adem�s de

codiciosa?" the Amazon said, pointing to her face.



Nabiki stared at the buxom teenager long and hard for a few

seconds, then shook her head.  "No, no te creo. Si fueras

Champ�, al menos, hablar�as como una gringa."



"�Ah!" she said, "mas eso era solamente porque el ingl�s y el

japon�s son muy dif�ciles. Es mucho mas f�cil hablar en esta

forma. Como tuvimos todos que aprender la lengua al mismo

tiempo, claro que hablamos al mismo nivel."  Shampoo looked

around. "Me cansa hablar contigo.  �Donde est� Ranma?  Tengo una

nueva receta y quiero su opini�n."



Nabiki stood up, and shrugged her shoulders, her hands

outstretched. "No lo s�," she said.



Shampoo muttered something under her breath, probably in Chinese

or some other weird Asian tongue, and produced some money,

putting it in Nabiki's hand.



Nabiki did a quick count and pocketed the money. "Gracias.  De

veras, no lo s�.  No soy su secretaria, pues.  Te puedo decir

que �l no est� aqu�."  She took the pencil from Shampoo's hand

and sat back down. "Ahora, si no me vas a ayudar con mis

deberes, me cansa mirarte cuando no estas persiguiendo a Ranma."



---*---



Somewhere, on a dark alley, far far away, Ryoga walked,

downcast.  He stared at the map on his hands, desperately trying

to make heads or tails of it.  He glanced up, as storm clouds

were quickly gathering right above him.



"�Que no panda el c�nico!"



---*---



"Oye, pero... pensaba que seria gratis, po," Ranma said.



"Mira, Ranito," Ukyo said, "no soi torpe. Tengo un restaurante,

y tengo cuentas que pagar. Ahora, deja de ser jet�n y dame los

1,500 pesos."



Ranma patted himself down until he found where his wallet was.

Opening it, a small moth flapped rapidly away.



"�Libertad! �Libertad!" said the moth before flying straight

into an open flame.



Ukyo took the money, and stuffed it down her blouse. Tenderly,

she took Ranma's hands in her own.



"Mira lindo, te quiero, sabes que si. Mas ya ha pasado casi un

a�o, y nada ha cambiado. No te libraste de ninguna de tus otras

novias, no me has dado ninguna satisfacci�n, y TODOS tus

problemas persisten. TODOS, Ranma, �TODOS! �Cr�emelo! �Dime

alg�n conflicto antiguo del que ya te hayas librado!"  She

paused then, to let Ranma know it was his turn to speak.



"Bueno..." he paused, deep in thought, "Chuta, tienes raz�n."



"Si, Ranito, tengo raz�n. Yo te he esperado por a�os, querido...

y adem�s he *esperado* por ti." She squeezed his hand hard,

getting a yelp out of Ranma. "Soy joven todav�a y, �carajo, no

aguanto m�s! �Si no lo hago contigo, lo har� con el primer

hombre que vea!"



At this point, Ryouga walked in the restaurant, and after taking

a look around, proclaimed, "�Yo quiero Taco Bell!"



Ukyo looked intensely at him for a few moments, then turned back

to Ranma.



"Lo juro, Ranito, cr�eme, aunque �l se pierda camino a la cama,

�lo har�!"



"Sabes que �l es un cerdo, �cierto?"



"No me importan sus maneras a la mesa..."



"No. Cerdito. Como chanchito. �C�mo P-Chan?" He took a glass of

water with the hand he'd managed to wrestle free and overturned

it on Ryouga.



"�Bu�������!" P-Chan bweened.



Ukyo stared at the little pig eating Ranma's Okonomyaki, and

said, "Y me recuerdo. No tienes ning�n amigo normal, Ranito.

�Ninguno! �Por acaso procuras a estos casos?"



"Te tengo a ti-�AAAAAah!"



"No soy tu amiga, Ranma, soy tu novia," she said, her voice

grim.



"�Da-daisuke y Hiroshi?"  Ranma said, struggling both in

remembering someone and with the pain.



Ukyo thought about that for a bit. "Tal vez. �Los has mojado?"



"No, pero no hay manera de que ellos sean maldeci--�AAah!"



"Los mojar�s. Hoy mismo."



---*----



Over at the Nekohaten, Shampoo was sweeping the floors of the

kitchen, rush hour already over, having had no luck finding

Ranma.



"B�same.... b�same mucho..." she sang, dancing with her broom.

"Como si fuera esta noche, la �ltima vez..." She twirled about,

increasing the rhythm. "Que tengo miedo perderte, perderte

despu�s..."



Mousse came into the kitchen, dressed not in his usual white

robes, but in a black traje de charro.



"Quiero mirarme en tus ojos," he sung, waltzing close to

Shampoo, barely missing a beat. "Tenerte muy cerca, verte junto

a mi," he went on, grabbing the broom along with her, the two of

them step stepping in the kitchen, smiling. "Piensa que tal vez

ma�ana yo ya estar� lejos, muy lejos de aqu�," he said, and

moved in for a kiss.



Shampoo quickly shoved the broom upwards, hitting Mousse square

in the jaw. She proceeded to hook his ankle, flipping him over.



"Si solamente fuera verdad," she said with a sigh, stepped over

the prone body on the floor, and kept on step step stepping

around the kitchen with her broom.



"Bisnieta," Cologne said, entering the kitchen. "Venga para ac�,

chica, que tengo que decirte algo," she continued, and headed

upstairs.



"Ya, bisabuela," Shampoo replied, and followed her

great-grandmother upstairs.



"Champ�, he recibido noticias de nuestra villa, y temo que tengo

malas nuevasCologne brought from within the folds of her

clothing a thick envelope, already opened.



"Bisnieta," she said, handing Shampoo the letter, "�Ranma es tu

hermano!"



"No... no! No te creo!"



"Bisnieta, esc�chame. Es una historia larga o es complicada."

The old woman stopped, as if to gather her thoughts.  "Nunca te

lo dijimos, pero... fuiste adoptada por la mujer que cre�as ser

tu madre. Diecis�is a�os atr�s, una mujer muy extra�a pas� por

nuestra villa. Estaba moribunda, y desesperada. Ten�a consigo

una cesta con una muchachita muy peque��ta."  Cologne fidgeted

with something inside her robes.  "Mira, tengo conmigo una foto

de ti cuando chiquita. La ped� algunas semanas atr�s, pues me

empezaba a acordarme de algunas cosas muy incomunes." She handed

Shampoo an old, faded picture. Although the colors were all

resembling sepia due to the age, the baby that looked a bit like

a young Ranma clearly had purple hair.



---*----



"Oye, viejo, �qu� me cuentas?" Ranma said, breaking the silence

between him and his father.



"Ah, nada, solo estoy pensando en algo," he replied. "Ranma,

tienes que acordarte despu�s de casarte con Akane..."



"�Si todav�a piensas en esto? Desiste, viejo."



"�Escucha-me, insolente! Ten cuidado para que ella no engorde

despu�s de estar embarazada. Tu madre, despu�s de tenerte,

algunos pocos meses despu�s, �empez� a inflar como un bal�n!

Quedo tan triste que se fue por algunas semanas. Nunca la vi tan

gorda..."



"Conociendo-te, con seguridad la mandaste quemar su gordura."

Ranma stood up.



"Detalles, m'hijo, detalles," Genma said, and, as he noticed his

son grabbing the bucket filled with cold water, added, "�Que vas

a hacer con el balde, ni�o?"



Ranma sighed, and he opened the door of the dojo. "Voy a cumplir

una promesa a una amiga."



---*---



Akane was walking down the street, P-Chan nestled in her arms,

happily being nestled.  She was coming back from grocery

shopping for Kasumi when she met P-Chan hanging outside of

Ucchan's.



"Pero �qu� haces aqu�, chanchito m�o?" she had asked the little

piggy, who wasn't really moving much ever since eating a huge

okonomiyaki.



He had kweened and bweed, bobbing right and left in a lethargic

manner.



"Ven ac�," she had said, and she had then proceeded to pick him

up.  Even though the preceding scene could have been assumed,

and it was quite frankly unnecessary for the story, it was felt

the pace was starting to pick up and something had to be done

about that.



As she continued walking down the street, Akane noticed Shampoo

as she sped past her, jumping across rooftops.



"Qu� extra�o," she remarked, "normalmente, atraviesa la ciudad

en su bicicleta.  Bueno, por lo menos no anda detr�s de Ranma."

She hugged P-Chan closer, much to his delight.  She traveled on,

much relieved with the fact that Ranma was supposedly at home

now, which was the opposite direction.



Quickening her step a bit, Akane continued on home, unaware that

the arcade where Hiroshi and Daisuke hung out after school was

in Shampoo's way, and that Ranma had gone there.



---*---



Shampoo saw her prey on the street below, carrying an empty

bucket.  She decided she had no time to waste, and so jumped

straight onto his back, driving him into the ground.



"Ola, Ranma," she said, smiling.



"Que diablos... Champ�, �qu� quieres ahora?" Ranma said, getting

up to confront her.



Ranma had gotten used to a lot these last few years from the

people around him, but at the same time, he'd gotten used to the

bizarre patterns they developed.  Things such as Shampoo landing

forcefully nearby (sometimes on him) on her bike or through a

few walls wasn't something that would rattle him, and as such,

Ranma himself went on as was expected of him.  That is to say,

he would complain a bit and wait for whatever crazy explanation

would be forthcoming.



He wasn't expecting a kiss.  A tight embrace, an offer for a

date, some sort of warning, those would be 'normal'.  Outright

kissing was very odd.  A particularly sloppy kiss, too, Ranma

noted, wet and sloppy.



After the initial shell shock, Ranma tried to pull back, only to

discover that the kiss, just as suddenly as it had begun, had

ended.  Ranma stared, perplexed, at Shampoo, who was smiling

sadly.



"Ch-chapo qa--" Ranma began, but wasn't able to feel his mouth.

At first, he thought that it might be because of the shock, but

he soon realized that he truly couldn't feel his mouth, and now

his cheeks had gone numb as well.



Shampoo spat out a little blue plastic bag, and said, "Perd�n,

Ranma, pero no te preocupes.  Solo te har� dormir por algunas

horas.  Estar�s en buenas manos hasta entonces."



By the time Shampoo finished, Ranma was out cold.



---*---



Ranma felt as if his arms were made of lead, their weight an

unequivocal reminder of gravity.  He tried moving them, but he

couldn't tell if he was actually moving them.  He tried opening

his eyes to check his surroundings, but his eyelids insisted on

staying close together, and Ranma was in the position to tend to

agree with them.



When he finally managed to open his eyes, he saw Shampoo

standing over him, his arms and legs bound by heavy steel

chains.



Groggily, he said, "�Champ�? Pe-pero, �qu� haces?"



"Ser�s mi novio, Ranma, de cualquier manera," she said, and got

closer, crawling onto the bed.



"Champ�, esc�chame, piensa en lo que estas haciendo," he said.

Ranma felt his throat go dry as she continued forward,

unabashed.



"�Alto!" came a voice from above.  Shampoo turned her head in

its direction, while Ranma tried to do the same.  Up from the

rafters, a hooded girl jumped down.



"�Y qui�n eres t�?" Shampoo asked, sensing an ebbing

familiarity.



The girl sneered.  "�Que no me reconoces?  Talvez esto te

ayude," she said, and removed her hood.  Beneath, a familiar

face looked back at them.



"�Hermana!"



---*---



"Entonces, �Champ� cre�a ser mi hermana?" Ranma said, perplexed.



Everybody was gathered in the Cat Cafe, listening to Cologne

explaining the situation.  Ranma was in between Shampoo and

Akane (Shampoo clinging to his arm), Ryouga was at Akane's side

(not P-Chan), and Ukyo had left to take care of Ucchan's, saying

something about Otro de sus problemas, no tengo tiempo para esta

mierda.  The newcomer was seated beside Cologne, unhooded.



"Si.  Me hab�a olvidado que Champ� ten�a una hermana gemela, que

se fue a vivir a otro pueblo cuando chica," the old woman said.



"�Como diablos pudiste olvidarte de una cosa como �sta?  �Te

recuerdas perfectamente de todo el resto!" said Ranma, still

getting used to the idea of two Shampoos.



"Entonces, �v�s?  No hay problema.  Yo no soy tu hermana, �ella

lo es!" said a jubilant Shampoo.



Everybody pretty much nodded in agreement, perfectly

understanding the situation.  Ryouga looked around the table,

baffled.



"Pe-pero... wh-c�mo, hacer," he begun, then stopped.  He drew a

deep breath, then continued, "This makes fucking no sense! She

isn't, but her sister is?  What the hell is the matter with you

people?"  He got up, ready to confront Ranma, tripped, and got

lost in a plot device.  No one saw where he went exactly, but

since it was Ryouga, they safely assumed he got lost.



"Y ahora, Ranma, por desgraciar mi hermana, prep�rate!" the

newcomer said, brandishing a broadsword. "Y tal vez," she

thought, "me vencer�s."



---



Para cualquiera que le parezca que Ryouga es demasiado torpe en

este fic, en realidad �l no pudo comparecer a todas las aulas,

perdiendo-se todo el tiempo. El pobrecito est� intentando

aprenderlo solito, y sin ninguna ayuda, ya que seria rid�culo si

los personages le ense�aran en-camera.  Si a cualquiera le

gustar�a continuar esta historia, h�galo nom�s.



-mccrowe



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