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Third Labor, chapter 18. "Akane, master of Anything Goes"
Disclaimer: lots of characters from a wide variety of sources. Including:
"Ranma 1/2" by Rumiko Takahashi, "Prefectural Catgirl Nuku Nuku" by Pioneer,
"Cutey Honey" by Go Nagai, "Sailor Moon" by Naoko Takeuchi, and "Oh My
Goddess" by Kosuke Fujishima. RIFTS is by the people of Palladium, who seem
to have a thing for dark and gritty and ought to come up with some other
flavors for what is essentially a melting pot for crossovers. AD&D and the
Forgotten Realms are all TSR, or Wizards of the Coast nowadays i suppose.
Skysaber wrote a number of these scenes.
"Yea, though I walk through the Valley Of The Shadow Of Death, I fear no
evil. Cause I'm the nastiest SOB in the whole damn Valley." - unknown
marine.
-----------------
Her name, as far as anyone knew, was Ranko Saotome. A bouncy buxom redhaired
girl, who usually wore her shoulder length hair in either a braid or
ponytail, frequently manifested scarlet batwings, with cute little fangs and
completely guileless blue eyes.
She looked a lot like Ranma Saotome's girl type form, in those universes
where there was a martial artist named Ranma Saotome and that martial artist
managed to fall into the Jusenkyo Spring Of Drowned Girl and gain that
transformational curse. Excepting, of course, for the occasional
manifestation of wings, the little fangs. Oh, and the little horns on her
forehead, but those were usually hidden by her bangs. Or her baseball cap.
She *was* a bit of a tomboy.
She also was not actually Ranko Saotome. She was actually the first Ginseng,
which was a marionette body coupled to a cyborg life support unit from a
person named Grey, then turned via the Pheonix Mage's magic into a real
person - an alu-fiend. She remembered her journey (in Reluctant Bet) from
the Sabre Marionette world where she was "born" an amnesiac half-demoness.
She remembered visiting a world of Evangelion and being her usual chirpy
helpful self. Things got kind of muddled in her mind after that.
Partly because she'd picked up another set of memories at that point. She
*now* remembered being born Ranko Saotome, Ranma Saotome's little
half-sister. Of meeting her good friend (though sometimes scary) Akane
Tendo. Of going off to help big brother conquer China. (Well, they started
it.) Ranko remembered a lifetime where she'd been born and always been a
girl. She had no memories of being male, and was a bit retarded as far as
developing feelings of that sort. IE: She was 14 and in many ways acted half
her age.
She'd tried to be a good girl and go merge with the native version of her
other self like the timelines were supposed to do.
However, she hadn't merged. Instead she'd been tossed off to the side, sort
of.
If she were going to be thrown into *any* Universe, Ranko did have her
preferences. The Thousand Acre Wood, where she could have tea with Mister
Rabbit. Candyland. A place in the dimensional nexus of Aramar known as
Nymia, where, quite frankly a perky and optimistic alu-fiend could have fit
right in. For that matter, Toontown might serve to amuse.
This would not have been in her top preferences.
"I'm *sure* that's some kind of rare Pokemon!"
"Ash, don't you dare!"
"Why is it okay for *you* to catch her and not me, Misty?"
"Because I'm a girl, and that's a girl Pokemon. Is that too much work for
your limited brain?"
"HEY!"
"She's even cuter than Officer Jenny..."
Ranko had no idea if she could be put in a Pokeball. It wasn't something she
even wanted to try. "Would you three stop that?! Waaaah! I wanna go home!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"Never mind the motto, imagine if we brought the Boss THAT!"
"Waaaah!" Ranko went up to her maximum altitude and decided she'd get as far
away from civilization as she could.
Ash blinked. "She's scared?"
"What?" Misty wasn't paying much attention. She'd dress that Pokemon like
her, and then they could do all sorts of things together because they had
similar builds. (Misty was dreaming.)
"She's scared, she doesn't want to be captured, and she's got a home?" Ash
wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he could occasionally rise above
the results of frequent head trauma.
"Maybe she's already got a Trainer, and got lost?" Brock couldn't fit a
winged girl in with being anything other than a Pokemon. Mind you, if there
were species of Pokemon that looked like *that* - he had just found a new
specialty!
------------
Akamukan/Ranma timeline:
SASAMI had enough processor capability that she could track events even
while in Maintenence mode.
1:25 AM : Jared removed the Synoptic Teacher from Ranma.
2:35 AM: Figure flying overhead at 300ft tentatively identified as
Toriohime. No action required.
3:37 AM: Akane Tendo arrives back at Tendo house. State: unconscious. Method
of travel: carried by Happosai. SASAMI allowed the Master of Anything Goes
to place his student in her bed. Despite data available on Happosai, facial
expression/body language indicative of remorse noted. Medical scan indicates
negative for molestation. SASAMI speculated that the thick fur still
covering the youngest Tendo was responsible for that.
4:52 AM: Kasumi beginning her morning rituals. Laundry, beginning the
simmering of pots for breakfast and making obento for the students. SASAMI
determined that Kasumi was quite capable in her endeavors and settled back
to Passive Mode.
Kasumi looked in on Akane's room, and saw that Chewbacca was in Akane's bed.
Puzzled and vowing to memorize the rooms better during the next day, as she
obviously had gotten lost, Kasumi decided to concentrate on the areas she
*had* memorized.
------------------
Eva Timeline:
"So what can we do about it?" Ami looked at her husband's body and tried to
rein in the various emotional responses and deal with this as a Doctor. "We
don't have bionics technology, and he's not exactly stable."
"You could get him to a hospital, where they'd stabilize his lifesigns, but
he'd be crippled for the rest of his life. OR you can follow my advice." The
woman sat on a table's edge and regarded Ami with unblinking eyes.
"What do *you* get out of it," asked Rei. "I'm not sure I trust your
involvement in this is as innocent as you proclaim."
"Trust me? No, you shouldn't," the woman laughed. "The only reason you
should go with this is that it is your only viable choice. The Continuua
Knights are determined to return all realities to baseline. Even if they
didn't start that way. They'll notice, and then..." She gestured towards the
television.
"I end up going 'splut'?" Maya Ibuki asked.
Ritsuko Akagi looked pained. "I get shot and die. So does Misato. The world
dies. Either we return to the world without Shinji's intervention, or we
seperate out and go like *that*. Is this accurate?"
"Completely," said the woman, spreading her hands. "It's unusual for me, but
I've been completely honest here. It serves my best interests in this case.
Simply a matter of hopping to an Alternate, finding a videotape of the
series that mirrors how your lives ended up."
Misato held up the final videotape and exchanged it with the one in the
machine. "Whereas if we went with the... oh my!"
Everyone stared wide eyed at the contents of *that* tape.
"What did you say this was again?" Haruka's voice had picked up an odd husky
quality and her eyes never wavered from the screen. Nor did she blink.
"This is a depiction of your lives, after a group marriage to Shinji, after
he's picked up a dimensional merger or two, as a fantasy based sex
comedy/drama," said the woman, flipping her hair back and raising an
eyebrow. "As you can see, you keep your careers and everything, it's just
that a good deal of the comedy comes from everyone juggling schedules and
dealing with the latest challenger/monster/villain and the changes in
society caused by having people running around with odd abilities. Oh, and
the occasional alien invasion or whatever."
Haruka continued to stare until Michiru gently shook her. "Ah, yeah. Uhm."
Michiru waited. They'd discussed this before. Even with the force of
Misato's wish, being engaged to Shinji was acceptable but marriage was
clearly less so. Actually, Michiru didn't have nearly the same problems with
the arrangement Haruka did, but she was prepared to back her lover 100%.
"OK, well, let's get busy, we've got to get going on this. Time's a
wasting!" Haruka nodded, completely missing Michiru managing to somehow
remain elegant while performing a facefault.
-------------
Shinji went. Sent across time and space to merge with another aspect of his
being.
Ami, unsurprisingly, would *not* leave his side. She went too, fully knowing
of the dangers.
Fleece had set up fairly good odds all around, but nobody would have bet on
Ami remaining behind. Medical school was grueling and she couldn't really
afford any time off.
Or at least she wouldn't have if "Shinji" hadn't built her a mnemonic "juku
cap" that could download information directly into her mind while she was
sleeping. Then scanning in texts and notes and diagrams. Two hours of her
sleeping schedule gave the equivelant of six hours of book study. Ami was
ahead of her course work, and by all accounts had shown her husband how very
grateful she was over the past weekend.
Fleece had counted on many factors, but somehow had missed jealousy and the
desire to get some quality time. Instead of Ami going alone with Shinji, she
had company.
Misato pumped the action on a wicked looking rifle and checked the sights.
"Okay, let's go."
Ritsuko had decided to wear her favorite leotard/lab coat combination,
mirrored by Maya's choice.
Rei grumbled about the whole thing taking valuable time away from her
duties, while Makoto and Minako each made private plans on who was first
going to "borrow" Shinji. Usagi waved from her position at the doorway,
being the sole person of the group to decide to "keep the home fires
burning."
Fleece considered, but shrugged. The inclusion of Haruka and Michiru had NOT
been expected. They hadn't even been GUTS project members, merely civilian
security guards at NERV. Setsuna, a minor player, a teacher at the school.
"Where did you send him?" Misato asked, concern obvious on her features.
"To join with one of his other Aspects," explained Fleece, a little
surprised to have a young Misato asking questions and apparently wanting to
go on this trip. Not to mention Ritsuko and Maya.
------------------
Third Labor timeline:
Honey clicked the book shut as Grey stirred. Perfect. It was just as she
remembered it, but she wanted to make sure. Everything had to be perfect.
Ami had apparently never thought about using *this* part of her book on
dragons.
Grey stumbled and shifted back to dragonform, though it seemed clumsier and
difficult somehow. He wavered, his long neck dipping as he fought to regain
balance.
Honey stepped up, a glint in her eye. She still had her sword, the Silver
Floret. Fingering an odd ring that Hephaestus had given her, it would have
allowed her to manifest a single set of abilities of someone she had
duplicated. Mainly a means of disguise, such as if she needed to fly or
produce a force shield.
She'd never expected to have to use it to duplicate herself.
"Honey FLASH!"
The others eyed her uncertainly as Honey came back down wearing ornate plate
armor and strode towards Grey with her sword drawn.
Honey pointed the tip of her sword at Grey, fighting a grin and doing her
best solemn. Formality was called for, after all.
"By ancient law and pact, I challenge thee, O Dragon. My cause is righteous,
my need is great, and so I call for a Duel Of Submission and the Challenge
of Wing and Claw." Honey paused and then followed with the wording in the
book. Old words that seemed to resonate in the mountain air.
Ami gaped. As she was still in dragonform, this was especially comical.
Nuku blinked and scratched her head. "Nuku think she miss something."
Grey took a deep breath and tried to focus on the figure in front of him and
he felt the Frostbite segment of his personality push forward. "Challenge
has been issued. And in front of witnesses. Why, human? What do you seek?"
Honey held her sword forward in salute a moment longer, then let it settle
down slightly. This was all part of the ritual. "It is the Time. And there
is need."
Grey considered declining. He had no reason to fight her, after all.
"Challenge accepted." His eyes widened, that response coming straight from
Frostbite.
Honey grinned and moved to the attack, a six foot human with a three foot
blade fighting a one hundred foot long dragon.
-----------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
Jared wondered what there was about breakfast that was triggering his danger
sense.
There was Nabiki, having used a can of tuna and a tiny amount of soysauce to
give herself an "instant breakfast". She really really liked fish nowadays,
and looked thoroughly content. She was dangerous, perhaps, mainly with that
wild edge she'd gotten since merging with the Catfist.
There was Kasumi, bringing a steaming bowl of rice in. No danger there,
unless you happened to have "quantum leaped" into her little sister. Jared's
mind still boggled at the need to have created a Protection From Kasumi
scroll.
Shampoo and Ukyo were in the kitchen, arguing as to whether to try Kasumi's
traditional Japanese breakfast, go with breakfast okonomiyaki, or was some
"too too delicious dimsum" on the menu. No real danger there. Most likely it
would escalate into a catfight and hairpulling as opposed to a martial arts
battle.
Akane. No danger. She was snoring, facedown in a bowl of rice. Which was why
Kasumi had had to go get another.
Genma was scarfing food wildly. Hmmm. Something about him, a gleam in his
eye? Something different.
Soun put his bowl down. "Hmmm. Ranma, Jared, Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi. We have
come to a decision."
[That's right] read the panda sign.
"Saotome, put the rice bowl down."
"Oh, heh heh," said Genma. He should've remembered to get splashed first.
"Family honor, the honor of the school of Anything Goes martial arts, and
your personal honor, all demand that the Saotome and Tendo lines be merged!"
Soun was trying for stoic and dignified. Jared idly thought it made him look
like he had gas.
"That's right," Genma seconded quickly. "It is a matter of honor that the
pledge between families be cemented. Therefore Ranma will marry Kasumi."
"WHAT?!" Nabiki didn't have any fur to bristle but she still gave that
impression.
"Oh dear," said Kasumi, nearly dropping the bowl. "Father, isn't he kind
of... young? Brash? Obsessive? Loud? Opinionated? He's not exactly handsome
or dashing, either."
"Gee, thanks a lot," mumbled Ranma.
"Yes, he is, that's why he's a good match." Genma nodded. "Jared, you will
marry Akane."
Akane snorted awake. Her head lifted up, rice sticking to her fur. "Huh?"
"WHAT?!" If anything Jared was louder than Nabiki had been. "WHY?!"
Soun knew that Jared had some weird ideas about love, so he decided to
explain for once. "You argue, she tries to hit you, you call her names, she
tries to kill you. This is the sign of true and undying love, sparks that
will last your entire lifetime and are a sign of your great affection for
each other."
Jared blinked. Akane blinked.
"NO WAY!"
Both stopped and stared at the other as they realized they had spoken in
unison. "SHUT UP!"
"Violent thug."
"Pointy eared freak! Sexchanging pervert!"
"Evil psychobitch! Butch bimbo!"
"Arrogant bastard! Stupid BOY!"
Soun and Genma smiled and nodded. Soun began crying tears of joy as he
exclaimed. "You see! It is a match made with Heaven's blessings! You two are
perfect for each other!"
Jared blinked. If he insulted Akane, that firmed their decision that the two
were a perfect match? Well, he couldn't argue that this was OOC for the team
of Soun & Genma. Then patted his "brother" on the shoulder. "That's it. I'm
out of here."
"Huh?"
"I'm going to the beach to continue my recovery," Jared announced. "Sticking
around *this* level of insanity? I don't think so." He *had* wanted to study
Martial Arts Ranching or that Piratic stuff that the Kunos practiced in this
timeline. He had lots of experience with more realistic styles, the exotic
stuff? Intrigued him, quite frankly.
Enough to deal with being engaged to Akane? Doubtful. Highly doubtful.
"Like you're some prize?" Akane growled and used one of her new martial arts
moves. She'd show this pervert!
Jared blinked. He felt less dressed somehow. Like...
Akane rubbed her cheek against the silk boxers, feeling a trickle of
invigorating chi. "Sweetoh!" Unfortunately, as she was still furry, she also
built up a static charge.
Jared's eyes went round. "She's using..."
Akane thought for a moment and made another series of lightning fast moves.
"Hotcha! That's more like it!"
Nabiki checked herself, finding she was missing her undergarments, even
though her usual clothing was still in place. Kasumi gasped, even more
discommoded as she was wearing a dress! Ranma gulped as he realized that
those were *his* boxers over there!
"Fruit Of The Loom, oh please," Akane tossed Ranma's underwear in her
pocket. She hadn't even bothered with Genma or Soun's underclothes. However,
her sisters garments' gave her nearly as much charge as Ranma's and Jared's
was proving a regular power battery.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Nabiki, Ranma, and Kasumi chorused.
"Learning and practicing the advanced manuevers of the School. *I* am now
the True Heir of Anything Goes," Akane said with a smile. "I *will* become
the Master of the school and free my family of the insanity you Saotomes
have brought to it!"
Kasumi merely stared at where her little sister was fondling her
underclothes. Maybe she needed a completely different prescription?
Jared paused, holding up a finger. "Wait, wait wait. Let's rewind this to an
earlier moment. You were saying that because Akane tries to kill me we must
be destind for each other?" He asked, holding both parent's eyes locked with
his.
Both of the imbeciles nodded gravely. "It is the sparks you two generate,
from insulting each other and her attempts to maim you that indicate how
perfect you two are for each other," Genma confirmed.
"So violence equals affection?" The boy confirmed.
"Of course it does!" Genma shouted, coming over the table in an attempt to
whallop Jared. "Haven't I taught you anything?"
"Of course," Jared readily agreed, sounding far too mild. If the "canon"
Ranma equated affection with insults and violence due to his upbringing via
Genma, and Soun had done something similar, it would explain much. Hmmm.
Maybe even where Kuno got that whole bit about beating Akane to date her, it
could have been something that became known to Kuno (possibly by paying
Nabiki.) "You're the best bad example anyone could ask for. Why, by doing
the exact *opposite* of anything he sees you do a man could go far in
polite and upright circles."
Nabiki snickered while Ranma tried hard to keep a straight face, failing but
trying to anyway.
Akane was still rubbing underwear along her cheeks and was experimenting
with having a pair of panties worn atop her head. Kasumi's.
Kasumi excused herself to go get dressed. And possibly bathe. She suddenly
felt unclean.
Jared grinned very nastily, getting up from the table. "Why then, I think
it's gone FAR too long without my showing my affection for the pair of you."
He addressed the parents, suddenly powering up and shouting, eyes ablaze
with fearsome delight.
"Spirit Seeker!!!!"
-------------
Elsewhere:
Cold. It was the first sensation. Dim lighting. Grey looked to see skeletal
limbs. Papery skin over darn little else besides bones. Had he been thrown
into a lifetime where he was being starved to death?
"Ah hahahahahahaha!"
"Kes!" "Kes-san!" "Kestral!" "You bastard!"
Grey blinked. Kestral? That was the name of his first/most recurrent player
character using the Champions system. Originally a bulletproof strongman
with a few odd skills like Detective Work. As the game system changed and
he'd gained experience, Kestral had gone through a number of changes to try
to bring the original concept within the mechanics. Someone who absorbed
available energy, converting it to chi and becoming stronger and harder to
injure as a result. Able to fly and regenerate damage, both by manipulating
chi fields. No chi attacks, but when you were able to military press 400
tons, it wasn't as big a deal as it could have been.
"There is no escaping that deathtrap!" The voice was the same as the one who
had laughed earlier. A snide sort of Christopher Lloyd on helium voice.
"He's been drained to the point where a human would be starving, and now
he'll die in the cold, dark, and alone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
The lights went out, the cold increased. Made sense. No energy sources to
absorb, probably struck after a hard battle, then used a magnetic bottle
with shifting frequencies to draw off enough stored energy to imprison him.
~Typical.~
~Those had been girls voices. Was my DNPC there? Dang, i haven't played
Champions in over 50 years (subjectively). Lets see, the last time Kestral
had run into this sort of trap it had been defeated by ~
~Coordinating attacks with Brute. Oh dear. They've removed the elements that
allowed for escape the last time this was used. Supervillains aren't
supposed to keep trying the same thing until they got it right. ~
Eyes narrowed. ~Time to see if i can assume my true form, a silver dragon
ought to break out of this without trouble.~
-------------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
"Why'd you have to interrupt?" Jared asked aside of the girl.
"Because he's my DAD!" Akane shrieked, pulling Soun off the fire where he
and Genma had been stripped and tied together to a stake, and patting out
where sparks had caught in her fur.
"Right." Jared pulled out a list, making a notation. "So figuring out
Martial Arts Tribal Sacrifice by trial and error is a no-go. Pity, those two
morons deserve the treatment."
Akane was busily trying to wipe the barbeque sauce off of her father, who
was gibbering in terror.
"You weren't *really* going to eat him, were you?" Nabiki asked, lounging on
the roof of her house, safely out of panty-snatching range of her little
sister. She was a bit put off that her sister's speed had somehow increased
to that point. If she wasn't caught off guard, Nabiki was sure that she was
still much faster than Akane. How long that would remain was another
question.
Jared made a face. "Yech!" He grimaced, putting away his notebook. "No, I
was just going to get them nice and sunburt, then chase them along a beach
with a whip and let them have their choice between a pack of wild dogs and
the sharks. Not," he hastened to add, "that I didn't have full faith in
their ability to escape. But I think the point really ought to have been
made." The redhead shook his head sadly. "Frankly, nothing less would ever
really manage to express our displeasure in a way they could realize."
Nabiki kicked around the concept and decided that he was right. She wasn't
too happy with the parents pulling this latest bonehead manuever, however,
especially as Kasumi had departed into her room and hadn't been seen since.
No doubt in shock over suddenly becoming Ranma's fiancee.
While Akane was distracted with using Ranma's boxers to clear the sauce off
of her father Jared snuck over and reclaimed the rest of the underwear,
taking hers for good measure and jumping up to the roof, rejoining Nabiki
and Ranma.
"Ugh." Ranma made a face. "What you want *hers* for?"
Jared was idly swinging the pair of blue panties around one finger.
"Because, my dear brother. The best defensive spells require something of a
focus as to what they're to defend against, and as far as *what* to take for
that focus... well, it really only seemed fair play. Turnabout, you
realize."
Jared got a suddenly distant look on his face, one of wonderment, then
turned to Nabiki. "Quick! Get me a phone book!"
Even Nabiki was doubtful, hesitating to ask. "What for?"
The redheaded boy laughed softly to himself and, glowing with a grin,
answered. "Because, since turnabout is fair play, it's really time and
*past* time we started arranging for our dear and lonely fathers to start
getting engaged to people. People like, oh say, pro wrestlers, winners of
women's sumo tournaments, perhaps a few gothic horror freaks, and a
reasonable sampling of trees, rocks and animals for the sake of it."
Both others slowly dawned grins of feral amusement.
Jared's grin was *very* nasty. "After all, the moment *we* marry we become
head of household, right? If not I can arrange it. So what's to prevent us
from seeing that our dear yet dotty parents aren't properly taken care of in
their advancing years? Say, by a select choice of fiancees to show them how
much we honor and respect the geezers?"
Nabiki's grin was vicious, her tail was lashing and she was struggling to
contain a purr. "It would take some time to find the *right* ones."
Ranma's smile was almost as bad as he added. "We wouldn't want them to
misunderstand the depth of our gratitude."
Jared nodded. "You guys start the works. I've got to return something to
Kasumi." He held up a pair of plain white cotton panties and a very modest
pink silk bra, then phased through the floor beneath him.
--------------
Third Labor timeline:
Grey gasped and seemed to flick in and out briefly.
Honey struck.
She had counted on several factors evening the fight. One, she could fight
all out and not do permanent damage. Second, Grey's reluctance to fight
back. Especially when he didn't have a clue as to why he was fighting.
Third, Grey was quite wobbly at the moment.
Cutey Honey had always fought for life and love, to protect the happiness
and lives of others. Now she was fighting to grab a little happiness
herself. While he had his problems, Grey was a bit better than Chokkei.
Especially now that Chokkei only had eyes for his newest girlfriend.
Her sword slashed into tender tissues just above one eye, opening a small
cut. There was a resulting bellow of unexpected pain, and Grey threw his
head back. Just as Honey had planned.
For a brief moment, a soft place where neck met hinge of the jaw was
exposed. Honey's sword stabbed out, where she could dimple it and call for
the dragon to surrender.
At least that was the plan.
Plans rarely survive the battle, something Honey *should* have remembered.
-------------
Akamukan/Ranma timeline:
Jared was sitting on the wall overhanging the back yard, nursing a red slap
mark on his left cheek. There were times when Kasumi had faded *just* enough
into the background that he nearly forgot she wasn't some chess piece
performing routine household functions, but a human being who had to eat and
bathe and... change clothes.
It had turned into something of an embarrassing fiasco, not helped the least
bit by the fact that he was too used to being married to duplicates of her
and had stopped to comment on her appearance.
The cheek stung a little in memory.
There came a jangle of spurs and Jared raised his eyes to greet the black
horse and black rider, who was standing in the street before him. Black Bart
paused to spit expressively in the dust. "It ain't right."
Jared nodded agreement silently.
Bart shifted to get his pistols more comfortably riding on his hip, cocking
his head at the youngster and shaking his head. "Y'all been a hero up til
now, but sneekin' in ta the lass' chambers..."
"Villainous." Jared agreed, nodding again.
Bart shook his head. "An ya ain't got the right. Y'all been workin on a
hero's liscence up til now. It ain't proper to change roles mid-story."
The redhead grew thoughtful at the phrase, bringing his head up a trifle.
"Unless it was a Second Act Catastrophe that the Hero has to spend the Third
Act overcoming."
Bart looked thoughtful at that. "Hmmm. Tragic flaw, eh? Mebbee."
Jared looked at the thoughtful villain and wondered if he should cast an ESP
spell. Just when he thought he had a handle on the Heir Of Martial Arts
Stage Villainry, the moustached figure would do something unexpected. Like
calling off a cattle stampede to have tea with Kasumi and discuss the merits
of various blends of Earl Grey.
"Still." Bart ventured, glancing away from the gaze of the "Hero". "It ain't
sumthin Ah can let ya off easy on."
Jared pursed his lips thoughtfully. "True. That would be the whole point of
it being the mid-story setback, wouldn't it? The lady's honor has been
challenged, hasn't it? I've got to do something to make that right or fail
and leave these parts."
Black Bart eyed him. "That teacher done taught ya well, ain't he? Ya'll have
the setup licked." He paused to give a villainous glare. "Ah reckon we can
settle this one of two ways. You either get run outta town, er since that
pappy o' hers been so worked up about ya marryin into 'is family anyhow,
that ya'll make a right and proper proposal to her."
A red eyebrow lifted. "In which case I get challenged for the right to her
hand, is that it?"
The heir to Martial Arts Stage Villainry grinned in a practiced and properly
menacing way. "Somethin like that." He agreed.
Jared frowned, inwardly thinking. ~The trouble here is that I've got plenty
of trouble *failing* at contests like these! If I don't string it out with
an honest attempt, I don't remain around here long enough to learn the final
techniques of Martial Art Ranching, which are enormously useful. But I don't
terribly want to *succeed* either, as Bart here has something of a romance
budding with Kasumi that would do BOTH of them good! Hmm...~ Much
considering took place. ~Actually what I need here is a stand-in, someone to
fail *for* me. Now who do I know that can bollix practically anything?~
Put that way the answer was perfectly obvious.
The elf looked up to see Bart still waiting for him to decide. He nodded.
"I'll do the honorable thing." He answered, then was surprised by how Bart
failed to react to the vague yet reassuring phrasing. A little more
uneasily, he added. "I'll speak to her father about switching the engagement
for her to me."
Black Bart looked him over appraisingly, then nodded, turning his horse
away. "You do that. Then Ah'll see to it that Ah git that engagement from ya
by fair means er foul."
Jared nodded, smiling slightly and wishing good things for the man. "May the
best man win."
Bart raised an offended hand to his chest in a gesture of reproach. "Please!
Ah'd never stoop to winnin by them terms!"
The redhead smiled as the villain rode away. Definitely a touch more class
than the villains he usually ran into.
---------------
Timeline HE-SM-CH 401001:
Doctor Gabe gloated to his audience, each caged in such a way that their
powers were contained. He'd struck quickly, decisively, and with
overwhelming power just after the "heroes" had successfully defended the
city of Nara from giant poison-gas-emitting bioengineered cockroaches
unleashed by the villain Biomass as part of an eco-terrorist plot.
He'd even got that secret agent/flunkie that kept showing up around Kestral.
He'd removed their clothing, partly because they had all sorts of gadgets
and devices incorporated into them. Mainly though, because having a bunch of
buxom naked girls in hanging cages was one of his many fantasies.
"Now that I've dealt with my old foe," cackled Doctor Gabe, "who shall I
deal with next? You, I think." He struck a lever and one cage began
lowering.
"Why us? We've never crossed paths! You're an AMERICAN supervillain anyway!"
The girl in the lowering cage looked down at the bubbling brew below her and
flinched.
"When Kestral was declared legally dead after his slip with that one
reporter, and he ended up fleeing the country rather than become part of a
governmentally controlled program, naturally his old enemies kept track of
him." Doctor Gabe grinned. "That's a form of liquid latex by the way. It'll
bond immediately to human skin, forming a clear protective glaze. Don't
worry, I'm sure I'll find a good place to display you after you've finished
hardening."
Some things were traditional in the superhero genre. The Last Minute Rescue,
for example.
Ice shattered as a silver dragon exited the cage holding Kestral. Many
heroes screamed. So did Doctor Gabe.
The heroes arriving In The Nick Of Time, however, merely attacked the
villain's pet monster. It was clearly more dangerous than Doctor Gabe, after
all.
The dragon had enough time to consider how badly his sense of timing sucked
before he was knocked out by a proton disruptor. Then, to everyone's
surprise, faded out in a physical sense as well.
-----------
Third Labor timeline
The Silver Floret dropped from nerveless fingers. "w-wh-what?!"
Ami frowned and sniffed the air, still in dragonform. "You intended to hold
the sword up to his neck, demand his surrender, and that way you'd not only
have him taking you seriously, but you'd have the terms of the Duel to get
him to come back to your home plane and help you fight criminals there,
right?"
Honey nodded, not really caring at this point if she were beaten on by the
others.
Setsuna decided that the blonde woman was going through enough angst and had
kicked herself enough by this point. "He lost the dragonform, your blade
went in, but it wasn't enough to kill him instantly."
Honey wordlessly made a gesture at the area currently conspicuous by the
absence of a body. Alive or dead.
"It looked like some sort of summoning spell," commented Ami. She arched her
long neck. "So, he's offplane again. He'll try to make his way back."
"He'll be in the city of New Lindisfarne at least by 905 AD where he rejoins
us and a few others," added Setsuna.
Nuku Nuku transformed. "Oh? Let's go then!"
-------------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
"This is embarrassing." Jared confessed from the garden area where he'd used
his role as a Prince of the Silver Millenium to do a summoning.
Grey uncurled from where he'd curled up in a tight ball to glower at him.
"Look, I'm sorry." Jared raised his hands apologetically.
Grey grumbled and went back to a curled up ball, hugging his knees.
"Hey, it was a dimensional resonance! I'm new at this whole d-hopping magic
thing. Besides, the fabric of this place seemed so similar that I thought..
.. Look, all the other spells had worked fine. How was *I* to know that it
was only one school that was effected?"
It was clear Grey wasn't the least bit mollified.
"Um..." Jared sweatdropped, reaching for something he could say. "I wanted
you to take my place trying to marry Kasumi, alright? You both would have
been happy."
"And how," Grey asked, fitting the exact amount of contempt and
disappointment into the words to make it very clear how displeased he was.
"Am I supposed to do that?" Ignoring the other problems he had with this
arrangement for the moment.
The redhaired mage twiddled his fingers, plainly at a loss.
Grey began looking around for a rope.
Jared raised his head. "No, don't kill yourself. I'll fix it in a few weeks,
after I've done the research on how to so I don't mess up again. That
doesn't fix *my* problem, but I'll deal with it like a man. Hey, I'll even
return you to when and where you left, okay? Think of it as a short
vacation."
Grey smoothed his girl's school uniform in a gesture of displeasure, and
said. "Somehow this isn't my idea of fun." Well, at least Ami wasn't here to
see him like this. He'd die of embarassment.
Jared considered. "Okay, how about this. I let you take part in arranging
marriage meetings for Genma and Soun, and *you* get to choose potential
brides. We've decided the old goons are too lonely and need to be married
off by their loving offspring. Deal?"
Grey stopped in mid-sigh, Jared was obviously trying. Frankly the further
away from the team of Soun and Genma he could get, the better off all three
of them would be. Marrying Soun and Genma off meant that they'd also have to
find a new husband for Nodoka. Or maybe he could call the office and have
Kimiko show up. Heh. The Valkyrie version he'd called up during his Second
Labor. *She* wouldn't put up with any of this nonsense.
Jared added. "AND Akane is running around, the real one this time, taking
lessons from Happosai and stealing girl's (and men's) underwear. She ran
afoul of a hair growth potion and now looks like a wookie, you could trounce
her and no one would even care. Plus, you've still got that powerarmor out
in the shed. C'mon, it ain't *that* bad!"
Grey favored the mage with a sidelong look and gazed back at the mirror he'd
been facing, which showed Akane's features gazing back at the dimension
traveler. There were no two ways around it. If he left this Universe like
this, without resolving whatever had caused it, and without trying to
organize his various selves into one being, he'd be even worse screwed up
than he was now. "Okay. Fine. Let's just get this over with. And how are you
going to explain TWO Akane Tendos, anyway?"
"Ah ha!" The Pheonix Mage nodded. "I have a plan. Don't worry, nothing can
go wrong with this!"
---------
Waterdeep:
"Rigee?!"
Rigel Maerklos of the city of Waterdeep straightened. "That was... strange."
"I'll say," Rimshot took a "salt shaker" out of his utility belt and pressed
a button on the side. "Hmmm. Looks like it was some form of magical
summoning. VERY powerful in nature."
Wispara Deunen had very little idea what was going on, despite being an elf
and therefore used to seeing all sorts of magic on a regular basis. So she
merely hovered protectively near her boyfriend/fiance/soulmate and looked
concerned.
"So, uhm, what about... this one?" Rimshot asked, returning to the task
they'd been about previously.
Rigel looked at the picture, and as he had on several of the others, nodded.
"Right. Know her. She's one of the clerics up at Candlekeep. Name of Amarlee
Ocean-eyes. Nice girl, sort of a minor sage dealing with medicine."
Rimshot nodded, as this was a picture of one of *his* acquaintances, a
"rogue scientist" named Amy who was based out of the Barony Of Hope in the
Colorado Baronies. And who had turned out to be one of a growing list of
people who had intersected more than one of their lives apparently. "And
this one."
Rigel looked at the picture, blinked, then looked at Wisp. "Wisp. Look,
here's a picture of you as a human."
Wisp looked over this portrait of another version of herself, suppressing a
quick surge of jealousy. Elves tended to be short and slender. The girl in
the picture resembled her, but was clearly taller and *much* "bustier".
"Hmmmph. Doesn't look like me at all!"
Rigel kept his disagreement to himself. "This other version of Wisp? Is she
also a friend of yours?"
Rimshot nodded. "Yeah, I noticed the resemblence but the differences are
kind of large too. In my world she's a Glitter Boy pilot named Ree
Fukami..."
-------------
Pokemon World
A ripple continued on, the Summoning further spreading and touching on other
Realities. Ranko reacted as if shot, clutching her head and dropping like a
stone.
"Never, *ever*..." One of Jared's multiple versions of himself was
cautioning himself, as he appeared on a grassy field dressed only in a furry
pair of briefs and boots, looking odd with his flaming hair, and continuing
on to say, "approach a valkyrie for directions in the middle of one of their
parties!" He shivered, and not from cold. Taking a map from a subspace
pocket he began to turn it around. "So how am I going to find my way back to
Jupiter? I'm sure that got me off course. How she stole my uniform so
fast..."
It was a good thing he'd kept a change of clothes in that Hoi Hoi Cappsule.
(Odd the useful little trinkets one could find in your RRO Survival Pack.)
The bad thing was that the clothes were a familiar looking Chinese outfit
gotten during his impersonation of Ranma. A quick toss of the capsule, a
lightning-fast change of clothes.
"See! There's another one!"
Jared realized anew, his head momentarily stuck inside the shirt, that fast
was not always fast enough.
*WHACK!*
"It's obviously not the same type, you clown!" ~Actually even Professor Oak
doesn't look that good!~ Misty absent mindedly wiped drool after seeing all
that well toned martial artist flesh.
Ash was rubbing his head. "So it's another super-rare type of pokemon. Who
cares?" He brought himslf up in a declaration pose. "I'm gunna catch it."
"Ash, don't you dare!" Misty got ready to launch a pokeball of her own.
"This one's mine!"
"Why is it okay for *you* to catch this one and not me, Misty? *This* one
isn't a girl!"
Misty was blushing furiously. "Because, well I'm a girl, that's why!"
Both of the boys looked at each other and blinked, making no sense at all
out of that.
Jared was on the cusp of adding a statement to this, perhaps in the form of
a fireball, when the buzz of bat wings and a barreling form came rushing out
of the sky to smite him powerfully in the front, hanging on for dear life as
the demoness wailed. "Waaaah!" There came muttered wailings and sobs, but
around the bellybutton of the alu-field Jared was having a hard time seeing
anything, much less understand her - except for one fact, she was in trouble
and in need of his support.
That merited response, of whatever level of firepower was needed to do the
job.
Though he had to use magic to where she was merely glomped onto his side and
he could deal with anything. Jared could now see Ranko pointing, not at the
three staring dumbstruck trainers confronting him. No, she was pointing down
the path she had come.
The trio of pokemon trainers were standing dumbstruck.
"Are they a related species?" Brock asked.
Misty smirked. "STARYU! GO!" She threw her pokeball, manifesting a
starfish-shaped critter.
Jared spent a moment in thought, pointing a finger at the creature, then
snapping his fingers. "Cold Snap!"
The ice-encrusted creature landed ungracefully on the ground.
"OH NO! MY STARYU!" Misty wailed.
Ash seemed to be struggling with some concept, especially as he was pointing
a gadget at them.
"No pokemon type found," announced the device.
"They're not pokemon?!"
"Shut up, Ash! Of course they're pokemon!" Misty drew another pair of
pokeballs. "STARMIE! BODY SLAM!"
"Psyduck?!" said the particularly stupid looking creature that popped out of
the other pokeball.
"You get the male, I'll capture the female," announced Brock. "ONIX GO!"
Jared grumbled slightly. They wanted pokemon? A spell was readied. Oh,
they'd have their pokemon all right.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"Never mind that, now we've got TWO of them!!"
Oh! Jared noticed the two who had been pursuing Ranko and got a
***TERRIBLE*** whim, even as the Starmie and the Onix raced towards him and
the ducklike creature ran around in circles. He pulled out a pokeball and
shouted. "Mara! I choose you!"
All five pokemon trainers got a little ill seeing a flame-haired,
pointy-eared, humanoid pokemon (obviously just an evolved form of the
littler female one or maybe they came in male and female verstions like
Nidoran) use a pokeball to summon what looked to all appearances as a
perfectly normal human woman (with her hair currently hiding her demon-first
class markings).
Then Jared hauled out five empty pokeballs. "Make sure you don't beat them
up *too* much, Mara. We wouldn't want them fainting."
There were many many times that Ash Ketchum was a clueless wonder. There
were some times when he had a better clue than the people around him. He
fled at his highest speed while his companions gawked.
It didn't really help that much, but it *was* one of his brighter moments.
---------
Third Labor Timeline, 817 AD:
Like his father, he was tall and muscular and could fight like a raging
bull. Unlike his father, he'd spent a lot of his life learning from the
priests. Where his father brawled, the son fought a bit more gracefully. His
father was a farmer who had left his farm to follow the priests to their new
home and begin anew. The son had tried his hand at farming, but had proven
to have another fate than tied to the land.
Ranma wondered if his father was doing okay. He hadn't been out there
lately. His duties as one of the priesthood, and an Engineer Third Class
tended to keep him busy.
The great earthen walls and battlements reflected the priests' philosophy of
"Enduring Strength" and their successes in summoning spirits of the earth.
Elementals they were called, though only the most enlightened members of the
priests could bring them forth.
Ranma continued his walk, nodding at the various merchants and mendicants
that scurried about. There was still much to do. Let those who cared about
such things make much of the Holy Lands. As was pointed out by one of the
engineers, changing the past was impossible, shaping the future - a
necessity.
"Raaaanmmmaaa!" A distant figure hailed before running towards him. Ranma
smiled slightly and waited, acknowledging a few knowing smirks from passerby
with a nod of his head.
The girl practically leapt upon him, hugging him to her tightly.
"Lands sake," said one of the older women to her companion, "girls nowadays,
they just act completely scandalous. In *my* day, we had dignity."
"Have ye seen the way they dance nowadays," the companion asked with a
sniff. "Tis' terrible it is."
Ukyo unhooked herself from her True Love to glitter dangerously at the two.
"Oh, be off wit' ye. I be sure that ye had your own share of scandal,
Madria! Now let me get some time wit' me friend here, eh?"
Ranma looked down at the forest green eyes of his redheaded companion, a
year younger and full of fire. "Ah, my dear lass, what are ye up to today
that has gotten' ye all wound up?"
"Priest Keian said something was up and he did call off the hunt early,"
said Ukyo with a wink. "Not sure what they be doing, but there's talk about
sending out explorer teams now."
"They be talking about that since we arrived at these islands," Ranma
scoffed and held out a hand for his lady to take. He spent a moment enjoying
the way her smaller and daintier hand fit inside his own as they walked.
"Admittedly, these lands lack many things we'll need, but I've seen little
evidence the Council will go for it until *after* the Outer Wall be
finished. 'Look to your defense first' as they say."
"Ah, but they be serious this time," said the redhead with a pout that
managed to scowl. "And ye be knowin that I've long wanted to go explore that
large continent. Why, there could be a thousand wonders we canna even
imagine in such a land!"
"Hmmph," agreed Ranma, worried that Ukyo *would* go and leave him behind for
several years. He couldn't see himself going off on that sort of thing with
all his duties here. "Well then I..." Ranma's voice broke off as he
realized something was happening.
After a moment, Ukyo realized something was up to as the rest of the crowd
glanced up. The birds had gone quiet.
Air slammed into the outer village as first one, then a second and third,
long winged form shot overhead at high speeds. The glittering bodies pulled
up after their passage, thereby bleeding speed in order to loop slowly back
around.
Ranma smiled and glanced at the girl beside him. She nodded and they began
running towards the Gathering Hall.
Another prophesy fulfilled.
---------------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
Jared presented this on brilliant,
hello-I-typically-live-or-die-by-making-good-plans-on-short-notice
inspiration ala veteran AD&D adventurer style.
He quirked an eyebrow over a confident grin. "The basics of that plan would
be as follows: One, Akane isn't really acting at all like herself, nor does
she look much like she used to. Two, You at least act like *a* version
people recognize as Akane, by being as unlike her as possible your first
trip. You also happen to look like she does in the form accepted by her
friends and associates. Three, If anyone is to be taken as an imposter, it's
her, not you. Given their choice, most people would probably *prefer* the
version you present. We don't have to say anything. In fact the less we say
the better because people tend to trust their own opinions more than other's
words and if we don't say anything we can't be disproven."
The mage adopted a fiery grin. "More to the point, people would *rather* you
be Akane than the real one. I can think of guys offhand who would take you
over the real one even if they *knew* what had happened! If we let this
slide through on it's own momentum the only damage control vector is Akane,
and frankly I'd *prefer* an excuse to go up against her in a few fights."
He cracked his knuckles. "That being the case, there are several advantages.
One, you get to catch up on your Ranching skills. Two, we get to fight with
Akane without anyone thinking anything of it. Three, we get to make her life
not conform to her wishes even if she gets it back. Four, you and I have few
reasons to argue. If you and I don't fight then the Duncecap Duo are less
likely to object to when I attempt to transfer my engagement to Kasumi (on
honor oath) and *that* will set them up for you running off into the nearest
nunnery, if you so like.
"So what do you think?"
Grey immediately disliked several aspects of this plan. Unfortunately he
wasn't able to think of any alternatives.
----------
A pokemon world:
There were many things an outsider might question about a mainline Pokemon
world that the natives never wondered about.
How come there *were* pokemon for one thing? How smart the critters were,
since many seemed to understand if not speak the human language. How some
had qualities of reptile or amphibian or mammal or even plant? That the vast
majority were egglaying no matter whether they had mammallian or whatever
traits? How could such a thing be? And howcome nobody knew how many kinds of
pokemon there were? How come some came with what looked like mechanical
parts (such as the Blastoise water cannon and Primeape's manacles) and some
had powers that were elemental in nature?
Especially nobody really asked how come some people were *exact* duplicates
of others. There were numerous Officer Jennys and Nurse Joys to be found,
practically every city had at least one. Most people accepted the "sisters
and cousins" story without so much as blinking, never mind that the genetic
variance between each Joy or Jenny was so small as to be almost
unmeasurable. There were others, after all, who looked and sounded and acted
much the same. There were four identical versions of Delia Ketchum, for
example. So it was merely accepted that this happened.
It was accepted because nobody knew the Truth, and everyone's interests were
(at the moment) best served by not knowing the Truth.
Especially the Joys and Jennys.
Most, if you asked, thought this was Earth. Ask them of the ancient ship
"Mega-road" and they'd tell you of ancient creation myths. Ask them of
ancient civilizations, and they'd shrug and tell you to ask an
archaeologist. Poke-mopolis might be brought up by a few who remembered
something of a news article on that subject.
Of ancient civilizations that mixed genetic engineering and magic, and had
risen and fallen only to rise and fall again, and of humans coming to this
world and not understanding what they had found, there were few who knew
*that* sort of thing.
Even most of the Joys and Jennys did not know of their special heritage.
That they were, in fact, the results of early human exploration of that
ancient technology. Still, most of them felt some primal connection with
pokemon and with the technology that centered on them.
Still, those who knew the Terrible Truth knew that the society around them
was fragile. Giovanni and his Team Rocket, the various Leagues, the inhuman
near-deities lurking about the edges, all had their parts to play and as
long as nothing upset the balance everyone was relatively content.
Anything that upset that balance was a matter of concern for They Who Knew
and their subordinates.
Especially the Joys and Jennys.
And so the Nurse Joy of the Rocky Point PokeCenter was a little alarmed at
her unannounced visitors coming in. She was one of those who had bits and
pieces of the Truth, and frankly it scared the crap out of her at times.
On odd moments from time to time there came in a stray; a pokemon that had
been lost or escaped from its trainer somehow, yet had gotten injured and
somehow recalled that Pokemon Centers would make them healthier again. And
so every so often a wild pokemon would wander in seeking help. It was
actually part of her joy in the position as caregiver and healer of pokemon
that those rare events happened, they showed her how much these creatures
had learned to trust her.
But when that happened it was pretty much in direct proportion to how rare
the pokemon was. She'd seen a few pidgeys, one or two bulbasaurs, and a
precious scattering of others in this manner in her time working at her
Center.
Her awe at having an *increadibly* rare set, not even in the pokedex, wander
in all faithful and full of trust made her wonder what her cousins (also
called Nurse Joy, all working at other pokemon centers) had been up to!
Then she'd gotten a good look at the two and had tried to keep from showing
her desire to run into the background screaming. One had hair that looked as
if it was flaming. The other had red batlike wings and piercing blue eyes
that seemed filled with pain.
Her foot casually tapped a button. The Elemental Lords, even more powerful
than the Elemental Birds, had obviously just walked into her PokeCenter.
They had taken human form, but some distant rational corner of her mind
noted that it was probably easier to deal with humans wearing that guise.
One didn't crush the insects until after the conversation was over that way.
If she died here, her brain sucked dry by what she guessed was a Ghost or
Psychic Type, or was burned to ash by the Flame Lord, at least one of her
cousins or sibs would know and come by to take over the clinic.
The idea that she was not to be recycled occurred to her when the humanoid
pokemon had slipped the boundaries to the next track over, handing her his
pokeballs to deal with like any trainer. Nurse Joy twitched slightly as she
took them, praying silently to the god of the humans that she wasn't being
asked to put herself into one. Maybe they were returning some lost
pokeballs, someone who had dared to attack an unknown, and had either fled
or been flash-fried for their trouble. She hoped it wasn't anyone she knew.
She was not prepared to open up the first one to find Ash inside.
Ash waved a hand to her in greeting. "Hey, ya gotta cheeseburger?"
Nurse Joy fainted.
Ranko, seeing the faint, threw a pokeball at the girl.
Jared made her put the Nurse back.
-----------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
As a complete shock to those who knew him, Jared approached their parents
with humble looks and traditional attire, and without any fanfare, celestial
music, glorious wings of angels, obstentuous shows of wealth, dancing
animals, or any other showy displays, asked within Kasumi's hearing if the
engagement he had could be switch to her, while Ranma was switched to
Nabiki.
'Akane' and Nabiki both fervently jumped on this idea with their full (and
in some cases MORE than full) agreement. Ranma added that he thought it
would be nice, and Genma and Soun typically turned to each other, and did
something amazingly stupid.
"I don't know who this imposter is, boy, but you're marrying Akane and
that's that. Kasumi will marry Ranma," Genma intoned solemnly. "As for this
fake Akane..."
Akane-g blinked a couple of times, then fixed Jared with a glinting eye.
Akane-n wiped fur out of her eyes and grumbled.
"Hang on, I'm tired of this," Akane-g fumbled at her side for a bottle and
quickly mixed three vials of fluid together, then sniffed at it. Finally she
walked straight over to Akane-n, grabbed her hand and sloshed some of the
mixture onto the native's hand.
"HEY!" Akane-n punched the other girl hard enough to bounce her off the
ceiling. "WHAT WAS THE BIG IDEA?!" Akane-n then started rubbing the goo out
of her fur, only to get wide eyed as she saw bare skin where hair had been a
moment ago.
Akane-g frowned but kept the bottle from spilling as she landed. "There ya
go, Akane. How about we make a deal? I'll give you the rest of this
alchemical Shaving Cream if you just keep quiet and stop stealing my..."
Akane-n blurred and vanished. So did the bottle in Akane-g's hands.
"Could have told you that wouldn't work," said Jared, sotto voce.
Nabiki was suddenly and abruptly in Akane-g's face, sniffing.
"Nabiki?!" Akane-g backed up but the feline Tendo kept looming up in her
face.
"You're the demon that got exorcised from Akane earlier!" Nabiki announced.
"I knew it!"
"aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA!" The scream from the bathroom indicated something
untoward had happened.
"Oh my," said Kasumi, unable to resist.
"Bets that she tried drinking it?" Jared said in the following silence.
"Nah, she's not *that* much of an idiot," Akane-g said, then realized she
was defending the native Akane. "This really stinks, you know."
"Be a man about it! Oh sorry," Jared replied.
"This is the part of Akane that Voodoo-boy drove out of my daughter?" asked
Soun pointing at Akane-g. Jared and Akane-g were surprised by the anger in
the Tendo patriarch's voice.
"Yes," said Jared, proving how rattled he was by Soun Tendo coming to a
correct conclusion.
Nabiki smirked. "I did tell you about that rumor, didn't I?"
Jared stared at where Akane-g was being hugged by a wailing Soun. "No, I
must have missed that one."
"You've just been listening to all the ones repeating your '1001 Things I'd
Rather Do With Akane Than Be Engaged To Her' speech," Nabiki said, with a
nod. "The talk about School was that Gos botched it. An exorcism is supposed
to drive out an evil spirit, leaving the good. With what everyone saw, and
how Akane's been acting, the talk's been that Gosunkugi exorcised the good
part and left the evil spirit in charge."
Jared thought about that and began to shake.
Nabiki blinked. He was that upset about idle gossip and speculation?
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha!" (wheeze, *thud*!)
Akane-g mumbled something from where she was encased. Whether it was a
protest or a request for air wasn't clear.
"So, Jared will marry Akane?" Genma asked Soun, wondering if his old buddy
was even listening.
"No, Ranma will marry Nabiki. I'm just so overjoyed that my Akane has
returned to me!" Soun's tears soaked the hair of the girl buried in his
embrace. "Kasumi will marry Jared. I don't suppose you've got two more sons?
We could marry both Akanes off to them!"
Akane-g mumbled something else and appeared to be struggling to get out.
"No, but I *do* have an idea, Tendo!" Genma smirked.
Kasumi was merely confused. "Excuse me?"
-------------
Pokemon Timeline:
"BUGROM!" James griped, using his heavy claws to dig a furrow in the soil.
"BUG BUG BUGROM!"
Ash nodded, but as he hadn't actually attacked either the Mage or the girl,
he'd gotten off easy. All he had to do was pull weeds and dig postholes.
Heck, his mother had him do stuff like this all the time back in Pallet
Town. This was no problem actually.
"Pikachu!" Pikachu said, glad that he'd been able to argue for clemency with
the spellcaster. As Pikachu was fond of saying (mainly to other pokemon) Ash
had a head of clay but a heart of gold. And frankly there were worse
punishments than being stuffed in a pokeball and forced to work in a garden.
"Can you understand what he's saying?" Ash asked his closest friend, not
having been turned into a pokemon, he couldn't understand a word the
transformed James was saying. Of course he lowered his voice as much as
possible.
"Pi pi pika," Pikachu said with a nod. He didn't elaborate though. James was
still griping and complaining. Privately, Pikachu thought that James might
be gender dysphoric and would approach the mage about being turned female
when he was returned to human. Though James seemed to actually be griping
more to keep up appearances than anything else.
Ash stood briefly, wiping sweat off his forehead and glancing towards where
his Trainer was. He wondered if that Mage guy was serious about making him
battle Misty. This could be a problem. Ash regarded Misty as annoying,
picky, fond of putting him down, and way too loud at times, but he liked her
anyway.
-------------------
Perhaps the funnest thing, Jared contemplated to himself as he sipped on a
spiced apple cider Kasumi had served to him, was that the Pokedexes were
simple machines. Specifically, information storage and retrieval systems
with no great effort at security. It had been child's play to have the Cell
Slicer hack in and deposit information.
He could have done a great deal more than he had.
Sitting at a sumptuous outdoor cafe he'd created for his group, he was
taking mild amusement in the crowd of onlookers they'd gathered.
Specifically, the young man who was pointing a trembling pokedex at him.
Loud enough for the crowd to hear the machine faithfully reported.
*PHEONIX MAGE, EVOLVED BRIGHT ELF OF THE FIRE TYPE. POSSESSES GREAT MAGICAL
AND PHYSICAL ABILITIES, ENOUGH TO LEVEL TOWNS FULL OF LESSER POKEMASTERS.
HAS NOTHING TO FEAR FROM ANY KNOWN POKEMON OR ANYTHING LESS THAN
WORLD-SHATTERING CATASTROPHES.*
There was a collective gulp at that, and the wavering pokedex swerved to
point at Ukyo.
*UKYO, EVOLVED HUMAN, ALSO OF THE FIRE TYPE. ABLE TO DWELL IN FLAMING LAVA
AND HAS THE POWER TO RESIST MOST FIRE ATTACKS WHILE LAUNCHING HER OWN. SHE
IS ALSO SKILLED IN CLOSE COMBAT FIGHTING AND MAKES A TRULY DELICIOUS
JAPANESE PIZZA.*
Ukyo frowned briefly and mouthed the phrase 'Japanese pizza' as if it were
distasteful.
Kasumi flew in on a little whirlwind that was her preferred mode of travel
anymore and the pokedex got pointed her way while she faithfully served a
tray of treats.
*KASUMI, EVOLVED HUMAN OF THE WIND TYPE. A SKILLED DOMESTIC AND HOUSEWIFE
WHO IS ABLE TO GENERATE GUSTS OF WIND AND BLASTS OF FORCE AS WELL AS
GENERATE TORNADOES, A TECHNIQUE SHE HAS PERFECTED FOR CLEANING AS OPPOSED TO
VACUUMING OR SWEEPING.*
This time the pokedex wandered of it's own accord while the owner was still
in shock, too confused at the imagery to function.
*RANKO, EVOLVED FORM OF GINSENG. NOT STRICTLY A COMBAT POKEMON, ANYONE WHO
THREATENS HER FACES THE WRATH OF THE PHEONIX MAGE AND OTHER EVOLVED HUMANS
SUCH AS SHAMPOO, NABIKI AND KASUMI, UKYO, AND POTENTIALLY OTHERS.*
Finally, the pokedex wandered over to where the small crowd of familiar
figures was going through exercise routines or chopping vegetables. By
chance it focused on one of them.
*MISTY, MERMAID. HUMAN EVOLVED TO WATER TYPE. NO FURTHER DATA IS AVAILABLE.
THE MAGE HAS OFFERED TO TURN HER BACK BUT MERMAID HAS SO FAR REFUSED.*
Shampoo splashed up out of the pond that guarded the gazebo in which the
crew rested at their ease. "Underwater palace is finished now! We all go to
sleep, yes?"
Jared finished his cider. "Yes, by all means. I have a feeling we'll need
it. Things are shaping up to be interesting for our brief stay here."
-------------------
Ranko considered. First that girl with pink hair had fainted, and as she'd
seen "big brother" do, so had she done. She'd put the girl in a pokeball and
hoped they could be friends later.
Then some girl with blue hair had come up, yelling at them while brandishing
a pair of handcuffs. Shampoo had held up a hand, and several hundred gallons
of water had jetted out and knocked the girl down. So, naturally, Ranko had
remembered that "when in Osaka do as they do" and had put the blue haired
girl in a pokeball.
It was weird, but it appealed to a sense of irony.
Though "big brother" Jared had made her put both back. Still, Ranko was
hoping they could be good friends.
Ranko blinked as something came down the road at high speed, it looked like
a unicorn with a flaming mane. And on it was... "BIG BROTHER!?!"
Ranma Saotome, aka the "Gym Destroyer" was rather surprised to see a
batwinged version of his girl form come flying at him at high speeds. He was
so befuddled by this he actually let his guard down for a moment.
Raiden saw a girl who looked an awful lot like Ranma's girl form and
snickered. Wait till the girls caught up on *this* one.
------------------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
Grey was confused. This wasn't an abnormal state of affairs but it was
particularly bad right at the moment.
"He" was currently "she" - having re-entered a timeline where he had
previously been a spirit "quantum leaped" into Akane Tendo, on being
summoned to it again by the Pheonix Mage he was now Akane Tendo's physical
twin.
Except that the native Akane had turned furry due to drinking a topical
magical potion, then had turned completely bald by taking the antidote in
the same fashion. Well, at least she didn't need to shave her tongue any
more. Akane had curled up in a miserable little ball until Grey had applied
a mixture to her scalp. She now looked a lot like the post-Ryoga's haircut
Akane while Grey looked like the pre-haircut version.
Which wasn't fair as Grey definitely preferred having short hair herself but
would prefer it if casual observers could tell the two of them apart.
Therefore she would merely endure the necessity of having to wash and brush,
braid etc, this mass of hair. She'd tried the braid at least. Up until
Happosai got ahold of it, it wasn't a problem.
Jared, on finding out that Grey wasn't that interested in staying here and
kicking Akane around, had tried to reverse his summons. The only one
surprised by its failure had been Jared himself.
Grey had slapped a nametag reading "Hi, call me Grey. i just look like Akane
Tendo." It wasn't until the class had started that she realized she had to
rewrite it using the kanji as her use of hiragana was considered childish
within the subculture of Japanese high school.
Other than that, she was having a few problems and everyone else could tell
she was distracted. This was because it wasn't just one mind in one body.
The dimensional mergers had taken their toll, and now several of the
personas were merging but leaving the individual confused. He (or she) was
now definitely no longer simply the Grey who had once been turned into an
incubus by a god of mischief.
He was Grey, reluctant incubus turned not so reluctant cyborg, worker at the
Rival Relief Office and adventurer. He was Mamoru Tengoku, who had grown up
in the Sabre Marionette J world as Gennai's pupil and an expert on repairing
marionettes. He was Nebula, aka Basalt, the Silver Millenium Knight Of Duty
who had briefly been the consort of a Queen. He was Frostbite, the silver
dragon priest of healing from Aramar who had once been married to a version
of Shampoo named Xian Tili. He was Shinji Mizuno, the half-angel albino
clone who had married Ami Mizuno - the Alpha Unit. He was Kestral, the
energy absorbing superhero whose secret identity had been married to
Lightning, that world's version of Makoto Kino. He was also Tsue, the
martial artist who had grown up idolizing his fiancee - the Sailorjin
Princess - Usagi Son. He was the subsititute Ranma Saotome who had grown up
with his mother Nodoka, his father Genma, and his fiancees Ukyo Kuonji,
Makoto Kino, and Rei Hino. He was also Orion/Grey, Minako Aino's "pet cat"
who had later been revealed to be a dragon and reluctant conquerer of China.
She was also a bimbo named Naga who had been a member of Team Rocket. She
was Ginseng III, a female android built and programmed with memories based
on Grey. She was the member of the Rebel Alliance, B Wing pilot Artemis
Gray. She was the homely peasant lass Delilah who had spent her entire life
in service to her Queen until the French Revolution cut that short (in more
ways than one.) She was Noa, a pokemon trainer who had specialized in "cute"
pokemon like Eevee and Ponyta.
As Naga was just plain crazy, Delilah was fluff, Ginseng III an emotionless
android who had later turned male, Noa had been killed by a splinter group
of pokemon thieves known as Team Hard Rocket, and Artemis had died in the
assault on the second Death Star, the overall pattern emerging was male.
Except for the body, of course, which was most definitely female.
Some of these lives had been different, some *very* different. The persona
of Naga was quickly fading, most of the other personalities viewing merger
with Naga as completely unacceptable.
"Who am i?" the question came through all the remaining personas.
She was moping in gym class, trying to ignore the whisper of comments about
the idea of their being two Akanes now, when something registered.
Evil.
Not the sanitized villainry of Black Bart (who wasn't nearly as evil as he
liked to act) nor the dark lechery of Happosai. This wasn't someone being
bad, or naughty, or lecherous. It was not the darkness of Akane's anger or
her more hentai leanings that found open expression as she moved to master
her family's Art.
It was Evil. The sort of pure, unsullied, no nonsense, straight out Evil
that hadn't bothered to mask itself because the average Neriman was about as
psychically sensitive as a dead slug. Grey couldn't tell where it was, but
it was nearby.
"Akai," called Yuka. "Stop woolgathering. It's your turn." She pointed to
the high bar.
Grey blinked, disliking the yellow tee with red bloomers that was the
Furinkan High School Girls Gym Uniform. And that no one would call her Grey,
but she'd gotten the nickname "Akai" for some reason. When in Rome, or
Tokyo, do as the Tokyoites do. But it was so *tacky!* Well, in order to
find that Evil, maybe trying a different form?
Grey leapt, ignoring the jeering call that she was going to fall short. And
willed the change, figuring that her current reserves would allow her to
maintain the form long enough for an aerial survey. And completely
forgetting the audience in concentrating to find this new menace.
The T-shirt burst along the back as golden wings sprouted to beat the air.
The sparkling golden field surrounding her turned her skin and hair that
color, as Akane lifted to a few dozen feet above the ground. Hovering, she
attempted to discern the direction of the Evil as well as its distance.
There was some indication that it was within the school grounds itself, and
then the Evil hid itself.
Disappointed, Grey landed again.
Missing the open jaws from the girls' gym class. Missing the way the teacher
was mumbling something about the "intra mural championship". Completely
ignoring the way the softball fell out of the catcher's glove and the nearby
boys playing baseball completely forgot about their own game. Or the way
that Tatewaki Kuno ran to fetch ink and paper, saying something about his
"golden angel." (Not that he was giving up on the Pigtailed Girl, the
Firehaired Lass, or the beauteous Black Fox (Ukyo Kuonji)).
Akai, Grey realized that it was just a name and she'd have to get used to
it, slowly began to notice all the stares and dismissed the wings and
transformation. Then very nearly fainted from the strain.
If this had happened in an American school, people would have crowded
closer, examining the girl. The ACLU would have barred her from the school
grounds, lawsuits would have been likely. Stones would likely have been
thrown, resulting in a clash between pro and anti forces. It would have been
likely that a number of those looking her over would have plucked feathers
from her wings, but that everything would have blown over eventually.
This being Japan, Akai quickly found herself shunned while the various
cliques and factions figured out what to do.
Martial artists wantonly destroying property, no problem. Death threats and
Chinese Amazons, nothing to be concerned over. Cattle stampede? Ho hum.
Evidence that the rumor about the good Akane being exorcised by that bum
Gosunkugi, leaving the evil one behind? That Tatewaki Kuno was *right*?!
This went beyond amazing.
-------------
Third Labor timeline 818 AD:
Ami and Nuku kept to their dragonforms for the most part. For one thing,
until they decided to go forward in time, dragons simply aged better.
Unfortunately as Setsuna had stated she had some mysterious "business" and
vanished, that left two dragons and a human in a bit of a situation.
More so for Honey than the dragons.
Honey had continually been unable to shift to dragon, until finally Ami had
hit across what all deemed the correct answer.
Being human had been something Honey had secretly dreamed of for many years.
Now that she *was* human, it was difficult for her to relinquish it - even
briefly.
Of course, sometimes the popular answer isn't the correct one.
Honey was reminded this as she stood on the peak of a cliff, facing a raging
sea, while a thunderstorm raged around her. She felt the hail pelting her
naked skin in wonder, as she had always heard you couldn't feel such things
in a dream.
"Human."
Honey had faced demons and goons and yoma, she turned, settling into a
defensive stance.
The dragon was long and golden, about 30 feet in length and glowing in the
dim light. "human," it repeated.
Honey swallowed, wanting to clad herself in armor and brandish a sword. Or
at least find something to wear. "Who are you?"
"I am I. You are you," the dragon said, head cocked in curiosity. "I am you.
You are me. We are us."
Honey blinked at this. "I don't... Oh. You're an Aspect of me."
"As You are an Aspect of me," the dragon said. "I have heard your call, and
I have fallen. To be One with you is possible. The question remains why?"
"Uhm well, I..." Honey started trying to think of another way to explain it.
"Know you, human self, I once wore human guise to fight evil." The dragon
shifted and now two human Honey Kisaragi faced each other. "I was a champion
of the Light, and did fell many things of darkness till at last I was
oe'erwhelmed. Why should I become one with you and not proceed to my
reward?"
Honey considered, and opened herself mentally to this other self. Relating
the battles she'd done and continued to fight. Then caught herself. "It
isn't right for you to keep from your reward. You have earned your rest
warrior, take it. I will find another way."
The transformed dragon laughed. "Well answered. It seems we are close enow.
Very well, I return to the fray. Where Injustice rules, may they tremble at
our coming!"
Honey merged and knew that Ami and Setsuna and Nuku had merged with Aspects
of themselves as well, but those hadn't been quite as awake as hers. Hers
had been experienced and powerful, a warrior in much the same line of work
as she was.
Stepping quietly outside, Honey shifted and took to the air.
It was true what they said, after all.
Dragons *did* have more fun.
-------
a pokemon world:
"I see," said the Mage, putting down a cup of hot cider. "That rather *does*
put a different slant on things."
"Pi pipi pika chu!" Raiden continued. "Pika pika chu pika pi!"
"So it's not enslavement, you can always 'jump ship' and go off on your own.
More a symbiotic relationship." Jared repeated mainly for the benefit of
P-Ranma. "Got you. What about the fights and such?"
"Pi pipi chu pika chu!" Holding a little pikachu-sized cup in between his
hands, Raiden nodded sagely and explained the situation.
"Ah, that would make sense." Jared nodded. The fight system was simply the
best one that had been found so far for gaining experience. Not perfect by a
long shot, but it was a least common denominator among the various
subspecies to gain experience, thereby "levels" thereby gaining strength.
Gaining strength increased the pokemon's own status.
"Pii pika chu, pika pi!" Raiden continued, pointing out that the local
humans were such loud and clumsy creatures that they were easily avoided by
creatures that preferred scratching out a living for themselves in the wild.
"So, you'll turn them loose? It struck me as kinda nuts when I first
encountered it, but that's just the way they do things around here," P-Ranma
pointed out.
"I *could* but there's a problem," acknowledged Jared. "Originally I thought
up the transformation of those thieves as a punishment. And that one girl
was quite upset at me, and tried hitting me after I'd turned her loose."
"A problem?" P-Ranma asked.
"Jessie *wanted* to be a Chansey. Apparently she had dreams of becoming a
pokemon nurse at one time, and couldn't make it as a human version for
various reasons. She *could* afford to attend a school for Chanseys but
didn't make the cut due to a lack of special abilities. She's happier now
and better adjusted *as* a pokemon." Jared gave a "what can I do" shrug.
"James I can switch back from being a Bugrom, but I think he was happier as
a rare Bug type than as a human. Meowth wasn't changed, he's just been
spending a lot of time sleeping in his pokeball. And then there's Misty..."
"Misty's the girl who attacked you?" Ranma asked.
"Yeah, well," Jared didn't feel comfortable with this situation. "Uhm. She
doesn't want to admit it, but I had an ESP spell going. Being that boy's
pokemon is kind of a turn on for her."
Ranma blinked, trying to make sense out of it. Raiden understood and just
let out a long "piiiika?!"
"Weird huh? She complains about his decision making ability, but apparently
prefers him taking charge. He also listens to her more now that she's a
pokemon, despite the language barrier." Jared shook his head. "It's better
than some relationships I've seen, but it's just plain bizarre in many
respects."
"Oh," said Ranma, not that he was able to understand women anyway.
---------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
Ranma brushed the lint off of Jared's cloak while Nabiki straightened his
tie.
"You don't have to help, you know." Jared sighed, adding cufflinks to the
ensemble.
Ranma *vigorously* shook his head. "Uh uh! NO WAY! If this doesn't go right
then *I* have to deal with figuring out how not to marry her. You're NOT
screwing this up!" Ranma grumbled something about knowing what Saotome luck
was like concerning women wanting this to land on the good side of that
relatively one-sided coin.
"I still think Kasumi would prefer you in Japanese attire." Nabiki sniffed.
"I'd turn to ooze and vanish away in a puff of steam." Jared corrected.
Knowing they had no way to tell if that was true, he added. "Actually no,
but a very good friend told me that she would prefer western attire for a
western date. She herself wears a housedress style most of the time that
isn't very traditional."
He stopped himself before adding how western things were *likely* to get
with Black Bart lurking out there somewhere.
Nabiki sniffed at Ranma. "Hey, Ranma, what's that... smell...?!"
Ranma blinked. "Smell? I dunno. I..."
"Urrrrr?!" Nabiki urrred.
Jared blinked. Nabiki's eyes were glassy and dilated, she did a shiver that
ended up going the length of her tail, and she was now sniffing all over
Ranma. 1+1+1 = "Ranma, check your pockets, I think the comedy team of Soun
and Genma stuffed some catnip in your pants."
"Uh oh," said Ranma, summing it up.
Jared left the room, hoping that SASAMI would find a way to calm Nabiki
down. He didn't want his clothes to get shredded, which might very well
become a possibility with Nabiki getting all catty like that.
"No! No! Down girl! Nabiki! Don't!"
Jared stood to the side as Ukyo and Shampoo came running and went into the
room, intent on pulling that alley cat off their Ranma.
"MrrrrrrrooooooooooOOOOOOOoooW!"
Jared shook his head, then forgot the events in the room behind him as
Kasumi left her own room. "Wow!"
Gone was the frumpy housedress and maternal air. Kasumi had gone for an
elegant look. "Uhm."
Kasumi smiled shyly. "Are you ready then?"
Jared nodded, trying to think of what it was that had riveted his attention
just a few minutes ago.
------
Krieger was the sort to never leave a job half done.
Akane was something of a failure in his mind. He'd never taken a student
(not to say that he'd taken many students) and not seen it through to the
day where they had their own little stretch of the prairie. Some had been
better than others, true. Actually, considering the number of pupils he'd
taught it might better be said that Mr. Larry Bean hadn't done as well as
Hoss Cowchucker.
Hoss was now a hired hand on someone else's property after losing everything
down to his pants in a drunken bet and Mr. Bean had leveraged his farm into
a career in accountancy and now worked at a major firm with little hope of
advancement because of the hopeless bow legs that were his last vestige of
ranching. But those failures had come about because of flaws in the original
material, one had been an escaped mental patient with superhero pretensions
and the other sold insurance. Getting either one of them in a pair of jeans
had been a major effort. And in spite of how those had later turned sour
Krieger had stuck it out for as long as it took to get them their
big-buckled belts.
Akane had been his golden dream.
Truth be told, she'd brought him better. That first Saotome kid had known
more about ranching from day one than he'd even been able to *brand* into
either of his first two pupils, and the next was as fast a learner as a
chalk slate with an angel doin' the drawing. But Akane had been the Dream.
Krieger had darn near given it all in and hung up his boots when the girl
had gone plum loco after a perfectly ordinary kidnapping and rescue
maneuver. The spirit done left him when she gave up ranching with nary a
good word ta say about it.
Oh, sure'n he'd heard the rumors. Might even be there was some truth to 'em.
But watchin' that loco gal, he'd known that a true practitioner of the
Japanese version of Martial Arts Ranchin' couldn't do a darn thing about it.
Sure, he'd let her sister come take lessons. But that Nabiki girl just
weren't on the same page as Akane. Heck, he wasn't even sure she was in the
same book. Kept getting greedy then would go and try to prove she wasn't
that way. He'd a switched her on over to the Town Gambler as *his*
apprentice iffn he'd had enough gumption left ta follow through on what he'd
made his mind up on. But he was just plum tuckered out.
There'd been barely enough left of him ta send them Saotome kids the rounds
with the other instructors, seein' they were as well rounded as a man could
get in the West. They'd gone and he'd crumpled, barely keepin' up the
appearances whenever they'd stop by fer a spell. Right cordial, they were,
though Krieger still hadn't made his mind up whether Sherry and Ranko an'
Jared an' Ranma were two boys an two sisters, 'er cousins, 'er what all.
Never could seem to scare the four of 'em together in once place for very
long. It made his head spin. Turn his back fer a deep breath and when he'd
turned around he'd have lost one an turned up another. Very active family,
whatever their confounded relations were.
Blast it all! A man had a *right* ta look on a youngster an wish ta all get
out ta git her schoolin done right! A proper heir ta The Old West School a
Martial Art Ranching. Anyone could tell jest by lookin at 'em that the
Saotome kids would always view it as a useful side discipline, they'd never
jest stick to it till it stuck ta their bones an make it a real way o life!
Sure, they might know the techniques better now, either boy could rope a cow
quicker than any man west a the Pacific, an the gals could braid an spin
like industrial machinery. They were whirlwinds... well, the Saotome chicks
were. That Nabiki'd sit on the hearth er in a warm sunbeam an talk about
free this an free that an purr.
Couldn't make up his mind whether she was his student er a housepet.
But Akane... When even Black Bart had given up kidnapping her, Krieger knew
it was hopeless. There weren't nothin left iffn a good ol fashioned villain
couldn't muster up enough bluster ta want ta tie her down ta the railroad
tracks 'er run her on a log down a sawmill somewhere.
He had ta do right by the Saotome kids. They'd earned it, right enough. Even
had Tales o' the West croppin up now, what with those shotgun marriages,
rigged proposals, Bart threatenin' ta run one of 'em outta town... Nah, they
were set up right an proper. All one of em needed was a run in with a
gunslinger and a badge, then he'd have ta haul himself up by his boots an
teach 'em the rest. But after that he might as well admit that he wasn't
good fer it anymore an mosey on outta town a broken man.
Akane had gotten her farm, been standin up ta Black Bart tryin ta take it
from her, had a few rope tricks and a good head on her shoulders, even been
willin ta learn what it took ta run a ranch all by herself, without hiring
hands ta do it for her.
Krieger had stuck by her when she'd earned her land, knowing that she was
good fer more, that this was the Golden Student, that she'd be the one ta
take over the school for him once he'd taught it to her complete.
Krieger sat on his porch looking out across the prairie and cursed the fact
that they already had a town drunk so worthless and pathetic that no man'd
ever be able ta take over his position. Elsewise he'd be in a mood ta try.
That was when the rancher heard a nicker and a cloud o dust came riding up,
carrying before it a familiar face with a pleasant smile an a heart full o
goodness inside. Seein it the rancher gave up thinkin an let out a warhoot a
delight, wavin his five gallon hat fer all the man was worth.
His student rode the range again.
========
for 3rd rules AD&D
Wispara Deunan, female elf Rog9: Size M (4 ft., 6 in. tall); HD 9d6; hp 40;
Init +6 (+2 Dex, +4 Improved Initiative); Spd 30 ft.; AC 12 (+2 Dex); Attack
+7/+2 melee, or +10/+5 ranged; SV Fort +2, Ref +10, Will +3; AL CG; Str 12,
Dex 14, Con 9, Int 11, Wis 9, Cha 12. Languages Spoken: Common, Elven.
Feats: Dodge, Improved Initiative, Mobility, Quick Draw.
Appraise 5, Balance 9, Climb 9, Decipher Script 8, Disable Device 7,
Escape Artist 9, Hide 9, Listen 8, Move Silently 10, Open Lock 9, Perform 4,
Pickpocket 7, Search 12, Spot 9, Swim 2, Tumble 8, Use Magic Device 7, Use
Rope 6, Wilderness Lore 2, Craft: Weaving 8.
Special Equipment: dagger +1/+4 vs tiny; rapier +2; ring of protection +1
Wispara Deunan is short for an elf, extremely so. She carries herself
much larger, for the most part. She is sometimes mistaken for a Tallfellow
halfling, to her continual annoyance. Wispara is a refugee from her
homeland, though she refuses to talk about it, other than to declaim that it
wasn't her fault. Wispara gets along fairly well with the drow priestesses
of Eilistrae under Waterdeep, though this is mainly on an individual basis.
Wispara's reason for being a bit of an outcast is actually her own
birth. It seems her mother wasn't quite faithful to her father, and she is
of mixed elf birth. A Sun Elf, but with a trace of Moon Elf in her. As
someone shunned by her heritage, Wispara can relate to the good aligned drow
of the Promenade.
Wisp is an Analogue or Aspect of Minako. She's somewhat jealous of
human women (for their height and bustlines mainly), and is fairly
possessive and protective towards "her Rigee".
As for the "Fist Of The Pikachu" crossover, that Nurse Joy may not have been
correct about a lot things anyway. She could have been a conspiracy
theorist, or merely read too many issues of the Poke-Inquirer. The Ranma of
that story may encounter Jessie & James again, post Jessie's transformation,
or Ash's group after Misty changes back. Or maybe Misty's still a Mermaid
when they cross paths again and retrieving the Change Amulet from Team
Rocket becomes a chapter of Hung Nguyen's work-in-progress. (It's up to
him.)
BTW: Magmarashi (from Reluctant Bet) is the evolved form of Hinorashi, which
in the American namings is Cyndaquil. So, now that they've released the
American name for Sasami's pokemon in RB: Quilava.
-----------
Having seen enough to know that this wasn't
a slapstick but a heroic moment, Ukyo played it to
the hilt. After all, when had she had a chance to
do something like this in HER life? "Enter the high
school warrior-chef (sentai-pose - chain to spinning
the spatula around and another pose with it behind
her in a more samurai pose) whose spatula strikes
injustice. Ukyo Kuonji, age 16!" (gleam of teeth)
-Reluctant Bet
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http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/