--
Jack and Jill Staik
(Yes, we know...)
http://home.earthlink.net/~jstaik1043/otaku.htm
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: owd12.txt
DISCLAIMER: Any naughtiness you may perceive is purely the
product of your own perverted minds, you pack of degenerates.
----------------------
Ranma 1/2: "Our Wedding Day" pt. 12
by Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
----------------------
Rose Petal awoke, feeling the warm, fragrant body next to
hers. She shook her head to clear the sleep and remembered
last night.
It was just too perfect a set up. The warm night, the evening
filled with talk, then staying up half the night talking.
Dozing off on his narrow bunk, their limbs around each other.
Then the Need affecting both as she started kissing him and
he touched her gently. It couldn't be resisted, and they
enjoyed every minute of it.
Rose Petal flicked the light on low, gazing at Mousse,
sleeping soundly and snoring gently. He was sprawled across
the bunk, his long dark hair spread over the pillow, his
tightly muscled body moist and warm.
"[Sleep, young love,]" she murmured as she slipped on his
robe.
The Amazon stepped out of the corridor and went down the
hall to knock on the Matriarch's cabin door.
"Enter," the old woman replied.
Rose Petal entered and seated herself at the table Cologne
sat on.
"[Matriarch Koh Lon]," Rose Petal bowed her head.
"[Warrior Rose Petal. What brings you here this morning?]"
Rose Petal traced her finger over the tabletop. "[Did
something out of the ordinary happen last night?]"
<The child is gifted in sensing the Unseen Forces,> Cologne
noted.
"[There was something odd in the air, I admit. Why?]"
"[Nothing I can identify. Just wondering if you sensed it,
too.]"
Cologne smiled, seeing a subject change. "[I noticed you
were not in your bed last night.]"
"[No, I was not. I spent the night with Duck-Boy.]"
"[Strong tantric energy you both create,]" Cologne mused.
Rose Petal pulled her steel-edged fan from the sleeve of
Mousse's robe. "[What of it, Honored Elder?]"
"[It disturbs my old bones. That's all.]" Cologne looked
thoughtful. "[Such a force sould leave a strong residue.]"
Rose Petal nodded. "[Yes - perhaps it could.]"
Cologne smirked as she noted Rose Petal's nascent suspicions
die unborn. It wouldn't do to have the child interfere out
of some misguided loyalty to her blood.
"[And it might be a good idea,]" Cologne mused, "[If you
were to put on some of your own clothes before the ship's
crew sees you. One wouldn't want them getting the wrong
idea, would we?]"
Rose Petal blushed and left for her cabin.
* * * * * * * * * *
"YEEEERRRAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!"
Everyone looked up from assembling themselves for school to
the ceiling where the scream came from.
"NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NOOOOOOOOOO!!"
"Aw, hell," Ranma sighed, changing his schoolbag for a backpack.
"What are you doing?" Akane asked, grabbing him by his pigtail.
"Going on a training trip." He looked back up at the ceiling
and added, "I'll be back in five days."
"Why?" Nodoka asked, appearing from the kitchen.
"Excuse me," Kasumi brushed past them as she went up the
stairs. "Leave this to me."
"Ko-chan is ... er, ah, on her Time," he stammered.
Nodoka nodded and followed Kasumi upstairs.
"Tell, tell," Nabiki chuckled. "How do you know?"
"Well, it was always the cravings for chocolate and the mood
swings ... then those weird dreams. I always tried to avoid
getting wet because she was going to take over and I couldn't
stop her."
"Poor Ranma," Akane murmured. "You don't have to worry about
it anymore."
"Yes, I do," he corrected her. "Now she can hit me."
"What kinda 'weird dreams'?" Nabiki asked.
A puzzled expression crossed his face. "Donuts and pocky,
bullet trains in tunnels - "
"Gee, how Freudian," Nabiki stated.
" - and water. Either streams or springs."
Akane hugged him closer, small flames of jealousy springing
up as she stomped them out.
"Kasumi can take care of her," Akane said. "She always
helped Nabiki and me with that."
"Sure," Nabiki added. "Don't worry, Saotome. Let's go while
the mob's questioning the guy we just released."
"What'd you tell him, oneechan?"
"Don't worry, sis."
Akane and Ranma worried anyway.
* * * * * * * * * *
Kuno filled a sink with cold water and dunked his head down.
His fierce, delicate warrior-lady Akane had possessed him,
forcing him beyond human ability in the exercises of love.
After she was done, the beautiful Ranko, dripping with
sexuality, had taken him. Both taking turns with his
magnificent manly body.
Returning home from the pursuit of the lovely reporters, he
delighted in the scent of sex left over his flesh by his
loves. He relished the essence, absorbing it like the finest
sake.
A hand grabbed his hair and pulled him out. Kuno coughed and
wiped his eyes.
"Father??" he asked.
"Dey got be changes 'round here, keikei," the Kuno Patriarch
intimated. "You give de family bad name by dressin' like da
fool!"
The son snorted, staring at his father's floral print shirt-
and-shorts combo and the palm tree on his head.
"It suits my purpose, unlike your own attire."
"Hey, mon, don't be actin' snooty on De Big Kahuna! I be
hearin' stories of you stealin' wahini's naughties!"
"Just their panties and bras," Tatewaki Kuno replied. "Off
with thee, father, I have important matters to attend to."
"What dey be dat you can't dress right? Mebbe get decent
haircut?"
Kuno turned to face with father, faintly outlined with battle
aura. "I must plan to win my loves Akane Tendo and Ranko
Saotome."
He swept down the hall in regal fashion, the effect only
slightly spoiled by the boxers.
"You looka like fool!" his father shouted, hurling the
trained attack lobster.
Kuno whipped out his (ahem) bokken and caught the lobsters
by their claws. With no wasted motion, he whipped the deadly
crustaceans back at his demented father.
The Principal countered with exploding coconuts, splattering
lobster bits all over the room. "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-
HA-HA-HA!! You gotta do better than dat to beat De Big Kahuna,
keikei!"
"I'm not trying to beat 'De Big Kahuna'," he sneered, going
for his father's greatest vulnerability. "I'm trying to
defeat a man named -"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the Principal screamed, looking around
for an escape.
"- named -" And he pronounced his father's given name.
"AIIIIIIYYYYYIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!" Principal Kuno screamed,
melting like the Wicked Witch of the West under a waterfall.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nodoka and Kasumi had aided Ranko with one of the more ...
unsavory ... aspects of the Female Experience, and she sat
down on her bed to recover.
"Gods, that was so ...
*disgusting*! I always looked forward
to my first -"
"Monthly visit," Kasumi interrupted.
"Special delivery," Nodoka prompted.
"Period,
*ladies*!" she rolled her eyes. "Menses! Is there
some huge crime in labeling the phenomenon properly?"
Nodoka looked confused. "Your
*first*? At your age?"
Ranko looked uncomfortable. "I've had periods before, but
that was the first time there was - y'know -" she blushed to
match her hair. "- a
*physical* effect!"
Kasumi nodded. "That's understandable, Ko-Chan. All things
considered."
Nodoka looked confused. ['Things'?? Is there something wrong
with Ranko? Is my daughter unhealthy?]
Nodoka sat besides Ranko. "Dau - um, Ranko? Is there something
wrong?"
"Besides the disgusting mess? Besides the fact that I chased
away the man I love?" Her voice rose an octave, choked with a
forming sob. "Besides the fact that I want Ono and Ranma and
Ono's not a man and Ranma's someone else's man? That I'm
nothing but an image in a mirror with no right to
*anything*
of my own?!?" By now, Ranko was almost screaming. "No! Not at
all! My life's JUST FRIGGING
*PEACHY*!!"
Kasumi had moved to the other side, and both women were
hugging her. Nodoka filed away keywords to ask later. An
image in a mirror was the most puzzling to her.
"You have us, Ko-chan," Kasumi said. "You have your family."
"HA!!" Ranko barked. "You're
*Ranma's* family! I just
inherited you!"
"You have me," Nodoka said.
"Sure," Ranko sneered. "A so-called 'woman' who'd rather
terrorize her own child with death by disembowelment rather
than love him!"
Nodoka drew back sharply, hurt.
Ranko realized what she said, and wished she could retract
it. But part of her didn't want to retract it.
Nodoka looked at the floor. "You - may be right." She took
Ranko's hand. "That's why I need you."
Ranko was confused.
"You may be right," Nodoka said. "Perhaps I don't know how
to be a proper woman. But you are, my dau - my dear Ranko,
very much a proper woman, fiercely so. I - want you to help
me."
"What are you saying?" Ranko asked.
Nodoka put a hand to her abdomen. "I don't want to make the
same mistakes again. I want to be a good mother this time -
the mother Ranma and you deserved. And never had."
"Oh, no ..." Ranko breathed, pieces falling into place. The
bouts of nausea, the odd behavior ...
She extended her ki-senses ...
"Oh crap."
Nodoka, sensing her meaning, nodded.
Kasumi looked bewildered. "What's happening?"
Ranko half-sobbed, half-chuckled. "Hibiki Part Two - Ichiro
Strikes Back." She 'looked' closer. "I'm no expert, but I
think it's a boy."
Kasumi's eyes went wide. "Oh, my." <Jiro's going to burst a
blood vessel. Not one of his own, either.>
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki arrived to a strangely subdued
school. Everyone seemed to be reading a newspaper.
"What's with them?" Ranma asked.
Akane shrugged. "New comic strip?"
Nabiki glimpsed the headline of one newspaper and took it
away fron it's owner. "Oh
*CRAP*!!"
"Hey! That's mine!" The boy said.
Nabiki gave him the Hard Bitch Glare(TM), Level Two. The boy
shrivelled up and blew away.
"What is it, Nabiki?" Akane asked.
She showed them the headline of the paper.
"'BILLIONAIRE SAOTOMES IN ORGY OF DEPRAVED LUST'?!?" Akane
read in fury.
"'Perverted Parties of the Newly-Rich'??" Ranma read from
another newspaper.
Akane grabbed the paper away from Nabiki and read the highly-
exaggerated-and-largely-untrue 'account' in the tabloid of
the happenings in her own home just last night.
Yuka and Sayuri came up. "Hey, Akane! I hope you know we
don't believe a word of it!"
Hiroshi and Daisuke, also coming up but having less sense,
cried out, "Hey, Saotome! Why didn't you invite any of your
friends to the orgy?"
The newspaper in Akane's hands caught fire and burned to ash.
Ranma bowed. "Good-bye, it's been fun, better luck in your
next incarnation." He grabed Nabiki by the waist and dived.
"DUCK AND COVER!!"
* * * * * * * * *
Hitori Dezaki of the 'Tokyo Intruder' was on the top of the
world.
After an exclusive interview with the Saotome's press agent
(and relation-by-marriage - plus a real babe), he was now the
*only* reporter in Tokyo with the inside scoop on the Saotomes.
The tale of kidnapping and desertion by an evil sociopath of
a husband, of twins seperated and reunited, of the evil plot
by parents to steal their children's inheritance - pure gold!
His editor was going to pay through the
*nose* for this one!
"Hey, Hitori-kun!" one of the freelancers said. "What about
an interview?"
"The 'Sun' will pay triple scale for the interview!" someone
cried.
"Back off - he's mine!"
Hitori basked in the reflected glory.
Then he noticed a pillar of fire illuminating the sky.
* * * * * * * * * *
Hinako-sensei brushed back her long dark brown hair, her
once-cute outfit now a revealing mini-dress.
Akane's abruptly ended ki-blast was absorbed in mid-attack
by the disciplinarian, who took care of the offending
students and various other personages within a hundred meter
radius. While students were recovering, she stood perfectly
calm in the destruction.
Hinako's attention, however, was on Akane, who was glaring
at her furiously. No one had ever remained standing after
her 'discipline' before.
"Mind explaining what that was about, teishi-chan?" she asked.
"As a matter of fact," Akane growled. "I don't mind at all.
What I want to know is why you allowed these boys off when
they insulted Ranma and me."
"Oh?" she asked. "
*All* of them?"
Akane nodded.
"Including the facade?"
Akane looked at the building where Hinako pointed, and
noticed the heat-blistered carbon-scored concrete.
"Oopsie," Akane said cutely.
Nabiki tapped Hinako on the shoulder. "Perhaps I can explain."
Ranma settled back to watch. He'd never admit it, but Nabiki's
talent for off-the-cuff bullshit both impressed and
entertained him enormously.
* * * * * * * * * *
Kasumi breathed a sigh of relief when the reporters ran off
after the pillar of fire. Ranko headed off to school,
properly equipped, leaving Kasumi and Nodoka alone in the house.
Kasumi was shocked. For the first time since she was six,
something had happened that genuinely surprised her. She had
had no idea that Nodoka was pregnant. Now she could clearly
see Nodoka giving birth some eight and a half months hence.
Why hadn't she noticed before? She noticed the doorbell about
to ring a minute from now, but not a member of the family
giving birth?
A minute later, the doorbell rang. Kasumi answered the door
and found a drab-looking woman in a kimono.
"Hello - um, lady," the girl said in a flat tone, as if she
were reading a script (badly). "'I-am-here-to-pick-up-my-
worthless-husband. I-am-the-real-wife-of-Randa-Somente -'"
"'Ranma Saotome'!" hissed a voice from a nearby bush that
hadn't been there before.
"Shaddap!" she hissed back. "It's my fault you've got lousy
handwriting?"
"Stick to the script, you tart!" the voice from the bush
insisted.
"Watch the insults, Mac!" the girl said in a normal annoyed
voice. "I'm an actress, y'know! I don't take this kind of
abuse - not for a lousy six hundred yen I don't!"
As she stomped off and the bush followed, pleading for her
to come back, Kasumi closed the door and went to the
medicine cabinet for some aspirin.
"Who was that, dear?" Nodoka asked.
"Your husband, my father, and one of the stupidest plans
they ever cooked up."
"Stupider than when I first met Genma and Soun and they had
put their entire savings into that door-to-door yak-butter
distributorship?"
Kasumi had to ponder for a minute. "Alright -
*one* of the
stupidest."
* * * * * * * * * *
Doctor Tofu had already thrown his overnight bag into the
overhead compartment and settled into his seat. He absently
gazed out the window at the plane's wing, just feeling.
He remembered vividly her scent. The feel of her soft body
against his. The tones of her moans and grunts. The beautiful
expression on her face when she climaxed under him the first
time. How she felt as she lay in his arms afterward,
listening to her heartbeat and gently caressing her in
worship.
He loved her with everything in his being. He put his soul
into their loving, letting his body explain everything he
couldn't say in words. Tenderness and passion and desire.
All ruined by a lust spell.
He slammed his head back against the headrest and sighed.
"Hey, Ono-sweetie," a familiar voice murmured. "Traveling all
alone?"
The doctor looked up to see a tiny woman leering at him as
she sat next to him. Through the short olive-brown hair and
pale complexion that would have confused others, he knew
this being.
"Eryala, what are you doing?"
"Keeping you company," the succubus answered. "You figured
out it was the Old Bat?"
"I thought you didn't know."
"I didn't," she tapped his nose with a manicured nail. "But
I listen."
"I would appreciate it if you would leave me be on this."
"I'm only offering back-up, darling. I care for you."
"Uh-huh," he said, nodding slowly. "Like when you made it
look like I was a complete pervert with that incident
involving the Magistrate's daughter and her tea set?"
"Tish-tosh," she stated as she waved her hand. "Old news.
You'll need me - "
"Like I need a hang nail. Dear, go home and play with someone
else."
"Can't. No one there's any fun."
"Then why are you here? Just to yank my chain?"
The young woman laced her leg around his. "You know what?
You're blindly noble. That's why I always loved you."
"Really?" he asked, a smirk at his lips. "I thought it was
because I was a rudely horny twelve-year-old boy."
"That, too," she giggled. "Anyway, if you really don't want
me around, I'll leave. If you find yourself needing my help,
I'll always be in shouting distance."
"Is that the only reason?"
The succubus grinned, exposing perfectly straight teeth and
sharp eyeteeth. "I want to meet this old Amazon and shake
her hand."
* * * * * * * * * *
China is a heavily regimented country, with an absolutist
government that restricts internal travel. Travelling from
point A to Point B requires internal passports, an itenerary
filed with the appropriate ministries, and numerous paper
checks by all the officials who don't recognize the traveler
as a local.
But China has been a civilized nation since the Stone Age, and
has labored under regimes that make the Marxist-Leninists look
like peace-and-love hippies. Over the centuries, secret trade
routes have evolved, supported by generations of peoples -
indeed, entire cultures - devoted to making sure that people
and goods get through the Middle Kingdom without the notice of
the temporal authorities. These routes are anchored on the
coasts of the East China and Yellow Seas by the Shadow Ports,
which are not mentioned in any sea captain's manifest, and in
the eastern parts of Iraq, India, and Pakistan by the Valley
Towns, which show up on no map or national register.
In between, a fine tracery of travel routes runs through the
Chinese landscape, able to deposit a person no more than a
day's travel from any location he desires, and often closer.
Not everyone can use these routes. In fact, most people
don't even hear rumors of their existence, or of the Road-
Keepers who maintain them. Lucky - or rare - is the person
who can use these routes.
Koh Lon, Matriarch of the Amazons, known affectionately to
her people as the 'Sadistic Old Bitch', rode the pack mule
that carried her away from the Northern Shadow Port toward
the village of Joketsuzouko. Behind her rode the Amazons
called Mousse and Rose Petal.
"[I HATE this part of the trip,]" Mousse grumbled.
"[You aren't the only one, sweetness,]" Rose Petal chimed
in. "[My hips will never be the same.]"
"[Shame, I rather liked them the way they were,]" he said
softly.
Rose Petal stuck her tongue out at him.
"[Pathetic children,]" Cologne said, just loud enough for
them to hear. "[Grumbling over a minor discomfort. In my
youth, having a mule would have been considered luxury!]"
"[Because they hadn't evolved yet!]" Mousse countered. "[You
had to make due with dinosaurs!]"
Cologne pulled a peanut out of her pocket and casually
tossed it at Mousse's mule. The nut bounced off the animal's
forehead, causing the beast to buck wildly. Mousse had to
grab the creature with all four limbs to avoid being
deposited on the ground.
"[We will arrive in Amazon lands in a couple of days,]"
Cologne said. "[Remember your manners before then, Duck-Boy.]"
<Perhaps I have lost hold of Shampoo, but I shall have the
child of the Saotomes yet.>
* * * * * * * * * *
Aga the Lady of Peace gazed into the sky outside the
abandoned warehouse the Phoenix People had made into their
base, watching the messenger glide to the ground. Hanging
from his shoulders was a large jug.
"My Lady," he said, kneeling, "I have returned - with the
waters of the Shuanshontsuniichuan."
"Are you certain?" she said. "The magics of Jusenkyo are
duplicitous."
"I believe so," he said.
Liitak leaned close. "We should test it."
Aga nodded.
Soon, her followers had produced a large tub and emptied the
waters into it.
"What shall we test it on?" someone asked.
One of the bird-people flapped up to the rafters, then fell
gracefully down. In his hands was a pigeon.
"Excellent," Liitak said, gesturing.
The pigeon was tossed into the waters. Then with a small
splash, two pigeons flew out and soon flew to the rafters,
out of sight.
"Perfect," Aga said. "With the waters of the Spring of the
Drowned Twins, we can have the Godslayer
*and* he can
continue his life." She sighed. "And no one will be hurt."
"But how do we persuade him to enter the tub?" Liitak asked.
"We ask," Aga said. "Nicely."
In the rafters, a pigeon preened, grooming its feathers. The
pigeon next to it gazed at it's exact duplicate in a very
un-pigeon-like fashion.
Then the second pigeon leapt on the first and tore into it
with beak and claw and unholy bloodlust. There was the faint
sound of avian screaming, then silence.