I'm cutting the number of reposts to one batch of 5 a day until pmak deals
with the FFML's configuration problems. Sorry, but I think it's best not
to stress out the system for a while.
To reply, post publically or e-mail patchmonkey@patchmonkey.net
Enjoy!
The FFML Refugee List
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------------------------------------
Sasami and the Seven Cabbits
A Fairy Tale with Lacerations
By Patch Monkey
(Kiyone does appear. Sue me. )
---------------------------------------
"Mihoshi, can you tell me a story?" asked the young blue haired girl, a
small furry object resting upon her head.
Mihoshi looked over at her. "Sure, Sasami. I love stories! My
grandfather
used to tell me stories all the time! What do you want to hear?"
"Miyah! Miyah miyah," suggested the small furry object.
"I'm sorry Ryo-ohki...I don't want to hear a story just about carrots."
The
cabbit looked dejected, and Sasami added "I'll give you some tomorrow
morning,
okay?"
"Miyah!"
Sasami pondered the question for a second, scrunching up her nose in
the
process, and then replied. "Do you know any stories about a princess and a
prince who saves her, and then they fall in love?"
As the young girl finished he request, several other heads poked in the
room.
"Oh! Hello, Ayeka. Hi, Ryoko. Oh, where are my manners! And you
too,
grandfather! Come on in. I was just about to tell Sasami a story."
Ayeka looked at her little sister and then over to the blonde.
"Mihoshi, I
too would like to hear the story of a beautiful princess, much like myself.
I'm
sure it will be a fabulous story."
"Yeah, right, princess. Mihoshi, I'd like to hear it too."
Kashuhito smiled. "Of course, Mihoshi. It's been a while since I've
heard
a good bedtime story, and what better way to listen than surrounded by
pretty
ladies? I'm sure Tenchi and Washu will show up later."
"Okay...here goes...I can't remember exactly everyone's name, so I'll
just
use the people in the room! Sooo....okay...here we go...Sasami and the
Seven
Cabbits!"
She began, "A long time ago, on a planet not too far away from that
nice one
with all the trees, but it was winter, so all the trees were bare and..."
"Could you get on with it, Mihoshi?" interrupted Ryoko.
"Waaa! Don't yell at me! It was winter in this kingdom. Now the
king's
name was Yosho, and he was a good and kind king, and he had a beautiful
wife...
-----
The queen sat at her window sewing, staring at the snow past the
window,
framed as it was in a beautiful shade of teal. Now, while she was sewing,
she
pricked herself with the needle, and five drops of blood fell into a small
pool
of water that had gathered on the floor. Now, the water has diluted the
redness
of the blood, and the queen thought it looked to be a most lovely shade of
red.
"Oh, I do so wish that I had a second daughter! It would make my heart
complete! A daughter with hair the color of the sky and this frame, eyes
the
color of the water below me, and oh, just as cute as a button."
Soon after that, a daughter was born to the queen, but the birth
injured her
so that a short time later, the queen passed on into the next world.
Now, the good king Yosho loved his wife truly, and he mourned her for a
year. But in those days it wasn't proper for a king to rule without a
queen by
his side, and, after another six months, he took a new wife.
-----
"Brother, if we had indeed married, and I died, would you have taken
another
wife?"
"Hmm...now that's a very good question, Ayeka."
"Shhh! Let Mihoshi get back to the story," reprimanded Sasami.
"Now where was I? Oh, right. So the good king took a new wife. She
was a
beautiful woman, but proud and haughty, and she could not bear that anyone
else
could ever surpass her in beauty..."
-----
The new queen was named Ryoko, and this Ryoko had a magical mirror that
answered any question she ever asked of it. Now, every day, as Ryoko woke
up,
she asked the mirror:
"Mirror, mirror...yeah, you on the wall. Who's the cutest babe of them
all?"
And the mirror would always reply, "You are, my lady. Now, go and
spike
your hair for the upcoming day."
After that, she was satisfied, for she knew the mirror could only speak
the
truth.
But Sasami was growing into a spunky teenager, and got more beautiful
each
and every day. And one day Queen Ryoko, the queen stared into the mirror,
and
asked it:
"Mirror, mirror...yo. Mirror? Hmm? I was wondering, who is the
pretty gal
of them all?"
And the mirror responded,
"Well, Ryoko, you are the fairest of all I see, but Sasami beats you
hands
down in the all over the place department. Sorry."
------
"Hey! Well, I can deal with that, as long as it ain't Miss Prissy over
there."
"Ryoko! How dare you! I'm not even in the story yet! And if I were,
I'm
sure that the mirror would say the same for me as it does for Sasami."
------
What the mirror said shocked Ryoko, and she turned green with envy.
From
that hour, whenever she looked at Sasami, her tail twitched and she hated
the
girl even more so. And one day, it grew so great, that this even grew in
her
hear like a weed, and she finally could take it no more, and she called a
huntswoman to her.
"Yo, huntswoman!"
Now the huntswoman was named Ayeka...
------
"Oh! What a hoot! Ayeka's my servant?"
"Yes, well, I might be, but you are certainly an evil queen. I'd say
that
Mihoshi has got you down perfectly!"
"Why...you...grrrr!"
"Ayeka! Ryoko! Please let Mihoshi finish my story!" spoke Sasami, at
the
same time a buzzing noise began to fill the room.
Mihoshi had fallen asleep.
"I'll go wake her up," said Ryoko, shaking Mihoshi's shoulder.
"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEE! It's the evil queen!"
The assembled, minus Mihoshi, sweatdropped.
"Mihoshi, can you continue the story?"
"Of course. Now the huntswoman was named Ayeka...."
------
And the evil queen spoke to Ayeka the Huntswoman, "Ayeka, there's a
nature
preserve on that planet where they design the treeships the Juraians use.
The
nature preserve is open for visitors. I want you to take her over there,
and
kill her." Handing Ayeka a jeweled box, she continued, "Bring me her heart
in
this box, and I shall give you riches beyond your greatest desires."
The huntsman obeyed, and sought out Sasami, who was sitting in the
garden
surrounded by all the furry animals that could ever seek her out..
"Sasami, the queen wishes for me to take you out to the nature
preserve,"
spoke Ayeka, and Sasami did as she was told.
So the huntswoman and Sasami flew out to the nature preserve, and when
Sasami had her back turned, she flipped the safety off of his standard
issue
X-14
civilian energy gun.
-------
"MIHOSHI! I would never kill Sasami!"
"Oh, of course, you wouldn't! But this is just a story."
-------
Now Sasami heard the safety click, and she turned around.
"You wouldn't be about to shoot me, would you?"
Ayeka looked flustered for a second, and shook her head no.
"Oh. Good. Why are you playing with a gun in a nature preserve?"
The huntswoman could not contain herself anymore, and fell to the
ground at
Sasami's feet. "Oh, princess, please run! The queen asked me to do away
with
you, and I just can not do it!"
Sasami thanked the huntswoman, and she thought, "The wild beasts will
soon
have devoured you. Either that, or they'll be bringing you love left and
right." Ayeka felt as though a log had been lifted from her heart.
So Sasami ran very very fast, and soon she was out of the sight of
Ayeka.
Ayeka picked up a comlink, and called the local butcher shop, and asked if
they
had a hog's heart, and if she could possibly get it from them. She took
the
heart to the palace kitchen, had it salted, and presented it to the queen,
and
received her reward, and flew very far away, in fear that her deception
would be
discovered.
-----
"Haha, you old hag! See what happened?"
"It's just a story, Princess."
-----
Sasami, meanwhile, had fled far far away, until she could no longer run
any
further. Sasami, sitting alone in the dark forest, wept a little, and soon
fell
fast asleep against a tree. She slept fitfully, waking from time to time
with a
start and staring into the darkness around her. At last though, dawn
broke, and
Sasami thought:
"Well, it was certainly silly of me to not have brought a flashlight.
I
wouldn't have been so scared if I did!"
However, even with that little thought, she was still a bit frightened,
and,
as she tried to find out where she was, she walked until she reached a
highway.
And on the side of that highway was an traditional inn, and that inn also
had a
hot spring. Now the inn had a tiny door, with tiny windows, and a very
large
carrot patch.
Sasami, being curious, thought "What a wonderful carrot patch! This is
all
very curious."
She walked up to the door, and pushed it open. "I wonder who lives in
this
place?" she remarked to herself, as she peeped into the kitchen. "They
don't
have any spoons, just forks and knives. And all those plates! There must
be
seven people who live here, for there are seven plates upon the table."
Upstairs were seven beds, and several other rooms that Sasami decided must
be
for guests. Going back to the kitchen, she had an idea.
"I think I'll make them dinner. They seem to like carrots, and I'm
sure
that they won't mind!"
-----
"Miyah! Miyah miyah miyah."
"Oh, you're so cute, Ryo-ohki!" gushed Mihoshi.
-----
Towards dusk, the owners of the inn came back. They were seven
cabbits,
each with a colored cap on it's head who dug and picked the carrots each
day,
for carrots had become a bumper crop a few years back, and even the
government
couldn't pay enough to match what they got each month in money. And when
they
opened the door, they were surprised to see the dazzling array of carrot
dishes
on the table, and the whole inn spic and
span. They went upstairs, and saw Sasami sleeping on one of their beds.
Prodding her gently, one of the cabbits asked "Miyao! Who are you?"
Sasami told the cabbits her sad story, and tears sprang to the cabbits
eyes.
Then a grayish-white colored cabbit spoke, as he noisily blew his nose,
"Ciyah!
Why don't you stay here with us?"
"You can live here and tend the house while we're down in the fields.
Don't
worry about that evil Ryoko leaving you to die in the forest. We love you
and
we'll take care of you!" spoke all of the cabbits in tandem.
Sasami joyfully accepted their offer, and they all settled in for the
night.
-----
"Wow! Seven cabbits!"
"Yeah, yeah. When do we get back to the queen?"
-----
Back at the castle, Queen Ryoko was tending to her hair, and smiling
asked
the mirror:
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Sasami's gone, and I'm still here,
So go on, tell me, who's the hottest
babe of them all?"
And the mirror, being unable to lie, replied:
"Well, Ryoko, it's not what you want to hear,
But gorgeous Sasami's still around,
Better get yourself some beer,
She's over with some cabbits she found."
Ryoko was beside herself with rage, and plotted to do in Sasami after
all.
-----
"Ahahaha! Well, look what happened, Ryoko."
"Yeah, well at least I'm still in the story."
-----
Now it was the next morning, and the cabbits were getting ready to head
out
to the patch for the day's work.
A brown one, who seemed to be the leader, said to Sasami as they left:
"Miyah! Now, remember, don't let anyone in if they aren't on the guest
register. Your evil stepmother may be coming!"
-----
"What's this?" queried a familiar red-head as she popped her head into
Sasami's bedroom.
"Hi little Washu! Mihoshi's telling me a bedtime story."
"I see...may I listen?"
"Sure, little Washu! Let me move over! Arg! I'm so sorry! I didn't
mean
to spill my tea all over you!"
-----
Now Ryoko had been plotting and planning, and had come up with an idea.
She
would disguise herself as Sasami's teacher, a professor named Washu, and
feed
her some poisoned sushi.
"Hahahaha! I'm so smart! And soon I'll be the most beautiful again!"
So Ryoko got in her spaceship, and flew to where the mirror had told
her of
Sasami's position. Disguised as the professor, Washu, she knocked on the
door
to the inn.
"Who's at the door?" Sasami called suspiciously, as she remembered what
the
cabbits had told her.
"It's Washu! I'm supposed to be here on vacation!"
Now Sasami remembered that her favorite teacher said something about a
vacation, and she went and opened the door, and saw Washu standing there.
"Little Washu! This is where you were going for vacation?"
"Yes. Sasami, whatever are you doing here?"
"Well, Ryoko tried to kill me, and I escaped..."
"Oh, such a sad story. Here, have some sushi!"
Sasami looked at the sushi, and it seemed to be just fine, filled with
the
most wonderful rolls. "Little Washu, where did you get this?"
"Well, I found this great restaurant. Try some!"
Sasami took a bite of the eel roll, and as she did, she fell to the
ground
in a faint; the effect of the terrible poison leaving her lifeless
instantly.
The evil Ryoko then shed her Washu disguise, and danced around singing
"Oh I
am the greatest evil queen! Yes you are the greatest, Ryoko!"
She fled the inn quickly, because she heard the voices of the cabbits
returning from the fields.
When she return to her chambers, she queried the mirror:
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Tell me who is the best lookin' one of all?"
And the mirror replied:
"Well, with Sasami gone, who do you think?
It's you, sugar, now give me a wink!"
-----
"How dare you kill my sister, Ryoko! Apologize immediately!"
"Chill out, Princess. It's a story."
The door creaked open, and they craned their necks to see who was
there.
"Lord Tenchi!" cried Ayeka. "Hello, Kiyone."
"Tenchi!" cried Sasami and Ryoko in tandem.
"Kiyone!" cried Mihoshi.
"Tylenol!" cried Yosho and Washu.
Sasami was the first to speak a complete sentence. "Mihoshi's telling
us a
story. It's called Sasami and the Seven Cabbits."
"Oh? It sounds interesting," said Tenchi, as he and Kiyone sat down to
listen.
"Now the cabbits, being good galactic citizens..."
-----
The cabbits returned home, and immediately thought about whether they
should
bury the young girl. That was put to rest when the brown cabbit turned to
the
others. "We should notify the galaxy police immediately," and, within
seconds,
a call had been put out. An hour later, a ship landed, and two figures
materialized outside the ship.
The first figure was a handsome man, with jet black hair ending in a
short
ponytail and deep brown eyes, his hand reaching for a sword on his belt.
The
other a emerald tressed woman with piercing blue eyes. Both wore the
typical
outfit of a Galaxy Police officer, although the man's seemed to be of a
slightly
higher rank.
"Well, this looks like the place," said the man.
"It sure does. You know, I'm sure glad that I got a new partner.
You're
clean. You don't snore. Have I told you how happy I am that you aren't
Mihoshi?" asked the woman standing next to him.
"Yes, several times this hour, actually."
"Oh...heheh. Hmm, well, we should probably go look at the scene."
The two Galaxy Police officers walked up to the door. The lady
knocked.
"Galaxy Police! Is anyone home?"
"Ziyah! Door's open!" came a voice from inside.
"Commander Tenchi Masaki and Detective First Class Kiyone Makibi,
Galaxy
Police. We got a call..."
Kiyone's voice dropped off as she looked at the scene in front of her.
Seven cabbits of various colors, all wearing bright colored hats, were
surrounding a young girl.
"From what appears to be seven cabbits. All mourning a young girl.
Doesn't
this seem familiar to you, Kiyone?"
"Well, you are nobility, commander."
The brown cabbit, who was wearing an orange hat, hopped over to the two
officers. "Miyah...We think this was done by her stepmother, the Queen
Ryoko."
"Ryoko? The wife of King Kashuhito?" asked Kiyone.
"That very one. Young Sasami here escaped her stepmother's clutches
for a
short time, but it appears that she did do her in."
"Thank you..."
"Ryo-ohki, officer."
"Thank you, Ryo-ohki. Kiyone, can you prepare a stretcher?" asked
Tenchi as
he walked over to the apparently dead girl. He lifted Sasami, and as he
draphed
her over his shoulder, a piece of the Sushi popper out of Sasami's throat
and
she, incredibly, began to breathe!
-----
"I knew Tenchi would save me!" Sasami said, suddenly getting several
glares
from around the room.
-----
Sasami woke with a start, only to find out that she was draped over a
man's
shoulder. Realizing that there were only possibly two reasons for this,
she
kicked him in the groin, and gasping for breath, Tenchi put her down.
"Oh...dear...I'm sorry, officer."
"Don't (gasp) worry (ow) about...it...Happens all...(oooo) the time,"
replied Tenchi.
Kiyone started over to the pair. "Tenchi? Are you okay?"
"Give me a second...please...(ow)...Kiyone, do you think you can take
me to
medical?"
Sasami blushed furiously.
-----
A quick glace around the bedroom revealed two men and a cabbit looking
very
uncomfortable.
-----
Sasami sat with Kiyone explaining what happened in detail.
"Don't worry, princess, we'll get your stepmother. Attempted murder,
conspiracy for kidnapping..."
"Officer, I know. It's just that she's very dangerous."
The red spacecraft pulled into space around Sasami's planet, as Tenchi
walked out of the medical bay.
"Everything better? I'm really sorry about that...I didn't..."
Tenchi smiled at the young girl. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine."
Sasami looked up at his face, and she smiled back. Kiyone, watching
them,
groaned.
The two of them stopped smiling, and Tenchi turned to the other
officer.
"Notify the ground police and the king of this development. We're going
in," he
concluded, as the ship dropped towards the planet.
-----
"So the evil woman will get what she deserves, right, Mihoshi?"
"Ayeka...Shut up."
"Oh, hush yourself, pirate..."
-----
The two Galaxy Police officers and Princess Sasami raced through the
halls
to the Queen's chambers, where Ryoko was sitting there, vainly admiring
herself
in the magic mirror.
Officers Tenchi and Kiyone burst through the doors of the chamber,
Tenchi
with a energy sword and Kiyone with her gun drawn. "Freeze, Ryoko! You're
under arrest for kidnapping and attempted murder!"
"Damn you! Couldn't you just let her stay dead? All I wanted to be
was be
the most beautiful, and she took that away!"
"Um," began Tenchi, as he lowered his weapon and began walking towards
her.
"Well, you'll have to come with us. You didn try to kill her, and that's
illegal."
"TENCHI! Look out!" shouted Sasami, as Ryoko threw her hands forward
suddenly and a yellow energy ball formed.
A second later, it was shattered by the fire from the other corner of
the
room. "Nail her, Tenchi!" yelled Kiyone.
"Good shot! And...thanks. You two saved my life."
Tenchi's sword flared, and Ryoko began fighting in earnest, a yellow
energy
sword materializing out of nothing and appearing inher hand and Tenchi
deftly
countering every strike. Back and forth they went, both of them jousting
to the
best of their ability, when , without warning, Ryoko froze in place.
He looked at the Queen. "Can someone explain to me what just happened?
Sasami and Kiyone looked at confused man. "Oh, Kiyone just got the
imprisionment controls online. She's apparently neutralized now."
"I think we can take her in, Commander," added Kiyone.
"Great! And, thanks again for the save. Both of you."
"Well...we didn't," the two began together. "That is, we didn't want
you to
die," they concluded in tandem.
"That's good," remarked Tenchi, nervously scratching the back of his
neck.
-----
"And that's how Sasami was saved from the evil Ryoko," concluded
Mihoshi.
"But you said that it was supposed to be about a princess and prince
who
rescues her and falls in love?"
"Oh! I forgot!"
-----
In the media frenzy that followed, it was learned that Commander Tenchi
was
a direct descendnant of a very powerful royal family in the galaxy, and the
Princess Sasami had been spending more time with the apparent prince.
Now it turned out that the noble Tenchi was able to take two
wives...and he
did, and he, Sasami, and Kiyone lived happily ever after.
-----
"Gee, Mihoshi, that was actually a nice story," complimented Kiyone.
"Oh Kiyone! Do you really think so? I wanted it to be so good and I
was
worried..."
"I think that was all Sasami wanted to really hear," commented Yosho.
"Why, Lord Yosho, I do believe you are right," agreed Washu.
"Would you like to get some tea, little Washu?" he asked the scientist.
"Certainly."
"Mihoshi, it was a good story...but we should leave. Sasami looks like
she's falling asleep," noted Tenchi.
The assembled began to walk out, and soon, all that could be heard in
the
room was faint breathing of a young girl with a smile on her face, and a
small
furry animal beside her.
Oh, and...
"Old hag! I'm glad you died!"
"Shut up, you witch! I'm gonna make you regret that!"
-----
Sasami opened her eyes, and looked around the room. "Ryo-ohki?"
A tired "miyah" was the reply.
"Did you like the story?"
"Miyah!"
"Good...I did too. Good night, Ryo-ohki."
"Mi---yah."
And Sasami turned over, and closed her eyes, and slept happily
all
the
night
long.
-fin-
---------------------------------------------------------------
I had fun. I hope you did too.
(1) Yes, C&C, public and private is accepted. Please ask me before using
my
work in an MST, that's common courtesy. Flames will be ignored, as my fire
resistance is at 100%.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jerry Levine
Patch Monkey
"There was no difference between the behavior of a god and the
operations of pure chance..."
patchmonkey@patchmonkey.net jlevine@wam.umd.edu
maddhatter@earthling.net jerry@jancomm.com
AIM: maddxhattr
http://www.patchmonkey.net
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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