Sorry it took so long to get to this. Had it in my draft folder halfway
down, then forgot to finish it. Got to it in just before vacation:

RPM (the perverted one. ^_^) wrote:

$Whew, about time I got to this.

Been looking forward to it:

It was a particularly nasty device. Shampoo was convinced it had been
developed by some medieval torturer that had enjoyed his work.

$Yes, but don't they all?

Some might be in it for the money. :)

"Congratulations. Your time didn't suck," he stated blandly

$Shampoo: It didn't suck?  It didn't suck?!  It didn't suck!  Yay!
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!

Shampoo: Now let me kick your groin to show my appreciation.

Under
Jaddo's tutelage, she was just starting to learn what true shiftiness
was.
She also learned a whole lot of new swear words too, which she tended to
use
with much vigor as the training sessions wore on.

$'I think I can, I think I can!' just doesn't pack the same punch as
'I'm gonna kill that sunovabitch, I'm gonna kill that sunovabitch!'

True.

"Wah, I bet your pussy hurts too. Now quit whining and start doing those
push-ups."

$Heheh.  He'd make a great football coach.

No doubt about it.

Realizing she wasn't going to win, Shampoo started to take the harness
off.

$Why don't she just finish her workout by trying to kill him?  Seems
that going to the root of the problem would be a good idea.

Heh. That could be his alternate plan for her.

After only eight push-ups, Jaddo gave a sympathetic, "Wait, you do look
tired." After a moment's consideration, he said, "Aw, what the hell."

$The way this is written makes it sound like he was considering letting
her stop, which I'm sure you intended, but then reconsidered and was
going to make her do them anyway, which I don't think you meant.  I
think that replacing the 'Wait' with a 'Hrmm' would help.

Sounds good. Will probably do that.

"There we go! An additional twenty pounds riding your back ought to
really
beef you up. Now get back to those push-ups, starting at one again."

Shampoo did as she was ordered, huffing out. "When... I'm done with
this...
I'm going to give you... a matching limp... on your other leg."

$Which one?  She's already demonstrated a penchant for castration
jokes.

Heh. You're evil.

of abusing his friend's hospitality by running up a room charge. As
punishment, he had made her do thirty laps in the hotel's swimming pool.
When she had returned, she discovered Jaddo laying on her bed and the
remnants of two meals on the serving trays. He had explained to her that
there was no sense in letting the food go to waste. She had politely
agreed
by breaking a night stand over his head. However, she had made certain
to
use the one from Jaddo's room since she did not want to destroy her own
and
'abuse his friend's hospitality'.

$Well gee, that was nice of her.

Shampoo is considerate when the occasion calls for it. ^_^

information
networks as well as forms of communication and entertainment. Services
of
every kind, from being schooled in the higher arts, to restaurants that
served food from everywhere in the world, to brothels,

$Jaddo: Yeah, I've been there, and there, and there...

Actually you're probably on the mark there...

 were offered in
colorful and often flamboyant fashion.

$Although she did think that the three-frame stop motion animation of a
woman grinding her rear against a man's crotch, done in neon lights, was
a bit tasteless.

Sounds like an eye catch to me, though.

variety of mixes of those races were evident in significant numbers.
Jaddo
termed the city "the most homogenized place on the planet." The claim
was
easy for Shampoo to believe.

$And a random New Yorker shoots them both.

That would  be as bitter an irony as one could get.

for
the elite stretched impossibly high towards the sky, the tallest and
largest
belonging to the most powerful of the megacorporations. It was sort of a
contest among them to show off who the richest and most powerful were.
It
was like a game children would play with building blocks, save that
these
children used real buildings to display their skills at accumulating
riches.

$And it made a much bigger mess when the loser kicked the winner's
tower over.

Heh.

the massive structure. It was a gigantic, circular, dome-covered
building
that was many stories high. It was brown, and appeared to be made of
stone,
enough that it probably could have taken an entire open pit mine from
Hellmount to account for the amount of rock needed to construct it.

$Bah, it's concrete like the rest.

But it's the imagery she's trying to evoke. It works man, it works. :)

surrounded
the base of the Arena just like the projections did. The columns were
obviously decorative, giving the illusion of supporting the arena
itself,
and Shampoo did find them pleasing to the eye. The architecture looked
exotic, and she wondered if it came from some other land.

$Presumably based off the Coliseum, but it used a different dome
structure.

Yep. Similar, but with its own unique flavor.

"Ha! If you didn't want people to know who you were, you would never
have
become the overlord of this here arena. You'd have gone out in the
boonies
in one of the territories where people think 'Sanzenin,' is some exotic
form
of venereal disease."

$It's not?  Try telling that to Ranma or Akane.

Hehehehe.

Tetsuo shrugged. "I don't know. Are there ever days you wake up and feel
bad
about being able to look yourself in the mirror?"

"Nice counter," Jaddo admitted.

$Indeed.

Thanks.

He
was bad news. Really good fighter, but the boy had the meanness in him.
Your
girl makes it through, she's probably going to have to deal with him in
the
big show. Hate to admit it, but he's one of the best I've seen in a
while."

$Ah, lemme guess.  He's got to win the tournament to change his name?

Nope. No Happi here, so no Pantyhose name.

Oh, and I've been meaning to ask, what's Ryoga doing in this universe?
I kinda lost track of QD after only a few chapters.

He's on his way to hunt down Ukyou.

Next
time out the girl had a match against Link. Had her spine broken by the
end
of it, and it was pretty obvious Link was sending a message. So watch
your
step around them."

$Heheh.  Suuure.

Not that the warning will help, no. :)

take
the brash American. It would be close, but instinctively she knew she
had
the edge. Still, perhaps Jaddo could step up her workouts a bit. There
was
no sense in taking chances.

$Nothing like seeing the competition to add some vigor back into the
workout.

Yep.

rather than his fighting ability, she found that his features were not
displeasing to her eye. Still, it would take more than a nice, if
somewhat
lascivious, smile to win her over. It was best to let him know that
immediately. She crossed her arms under her breasts and sniffed
disdainfully
at him.

$Then gagged and held her nose.

Heh. That would work.

Well, that was interesting.  Nice bit with Pink and Link, too.  And now
I'm off to the next part.

Looking forward to it, though you probably won't here from me in a while
since i'm going to be out of town. Thanks again for the hefty C+C. It's
mucho appreciated.

D.B. Sommer




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