Well, now that the FFML is back, I might as well get tons and tons (hint) of
feedback for Garden of Eva Book 2 - Part 666.
Enjoy!
=======================================================================
Garden of EVA 2:666 - God Blows His Nose!
Book 2: Blows
Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright by
Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission
Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-2000 by Jim Lazar
A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that will blow
your mind.
<Speech text in angle brackets is thought by character.>
"Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese."
E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@animeprime.com
Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at:
http://www.animeprime.com/ff/geva
=======================================================================
There's no reason to warn you after all the blood, guts, and semen you've
waded through to get to this point.
Be afraid... be very afraid.
P.S. There are many references to End of Evangelion in this part that might
not make that much sense if you haven't seen that movie yet. I don't think
there are any major spoilers contained within, but I can't make any
promises.
=======================================================================
Shinji ran towards the wrinkled bump on the wall and tore off a piece of
the wallpaper. "Rei!!" he shouted as her perky breasts were revealed.
"Shinji, it's so dark!"
Another piece of wallpaper was pulled off, revealing her blue bush. Not
to mention her pink vaginal folds, but I won't mention those.
Several more rips later, Rei fell into Shinji's arms. "What happened?"
Shinji finished picking off some bits of wallpaper that were still
stuck to Rei's skin. "Um.. well..." He looked at Yui.
"Sorry about that..." Yui said, looking around at the wallpapered
theater. "I was doing a little redecorating and must have missed seeing you
there."
"Oh... I dozed off against one of the walls, I guess." Rei looked
around and saw the little severed Gendou heads on the wallpaper. "I don't
like the pattern." She grinned.
Shinji smiled. "I love your smile." He leaned down and gave her a long
kiss. When it ended, he apologized. "I'm sorry if I upset you when I told
Asuka and Misato I loved them."
"That's okay." She lowered her head, causing some of her hair to fall
over he eyes.
Shinji could tell she was still troubled by the look in her eyes when
he brushed her hair away. "Rei, whatever else has happened and will happen,
I love you; now and forever."
Rei burst out laughing. "That's so corny."
Shinji shrugged. "Yeah, but it's the truth."
Rei melted into Shinji's embrace. "I love you too."
Shinji's lips met Rei's once again and they shared a private moment.
Well, private except for Yui standing nearby and watching their every
move, that is. When something suddenly came up, she turned away. "Well, I'll
just leave you two alone." She started walking away.
As he slid on top of Rei, Shinji pressed against the half wallpapered
wall. Oblivious to the loud cracking sound that rang out, Shinji pressed his
body against Rei's. Their lips touched again, sending waves of excitement
through their young bodies.
Rei moaned as Shinji's hand slid seductively up the side of her body,
pausing at all the right spots to make her moan louder. Relying on the
memories of the Shinji who had actually done it before, Shinji slipped his
mighty oak into her waiting forest with a mighty wall-shattering thrust.
And then the wall collapsed behind them, covering them with dust and
splinters.
Coughing, Shinji wiped the debris off Rei and looked up. "What
happened?" He gasped when he saw the wall of the theater had fallen down and
noticed the wooden supports sticking out of the back of it. It looked
exactly like the false walls that you would find on a movie set. "Wha..."
"Oh my..." Yui said as she walked back over.
Shinji looked back at Yui. "Mom, what's going on?"
Yui shook her head. "I'm not your mother, I'm his mother." She pointed
behind Shinji.
Following her gesture, Rei and Shinji looked through the settling dust
and saw themselves floating on a sea of LCL.
Ironically, the other naked Shinji and Rei were in a similar position
as the Shinji and Rei in the theater were.
Except Rei was on top.
"What the..." the Shinji on top gasped.
"What the hell did you do to my wall!!" the Shinji on the bottom
yelled.
"Wall?" Shinji repeated as the remaining walls began to spin around
him.
Mostly since they started to fall down, one after the other in a
thunderous crashing orgy of destruction.
"Shinji, who is that on top of you?" the Rei on the bottom asked the
Shinji on the bottom.
"This is Rei."
"The third Rei, actually," the Rei on top clarified in a monotone
voice.
The Rei on the bottom frowned. "But I'm the third... plus another Rei
from world six-six-six."
The Rei on top shook her head, causing her breasts to shimmy. "No,
you're not."
"Am too!!" the Rei on the bottom insisted.
"You are just part of a world that Shinji here-" The Rei on top
indicated the Shinji she was on top of. "-made when he went insane after
Third Impact."
The Rei on the bottom gasped. "So... I'm not..." She looked up at the
Shinji who still had his manhood thrust deep into her. "WE'RE not the real
Shinji and Rei?" Then she remembered something. "Not even half of them?"
The Rei on top of Shinji shook her head, causing her hips to wiggle.
"No, Shinji was so distraught that Misato and Asuka had died, that at the
moment of Third Impact his mind snapped and he created a false world where
he could be walled off from the real world with the three women he loved
more than life itself."
"This can't be true..." the Shinji on top of Rei with his mighty oak
thrust deep into Rei's wet forest said.
"It is," Rei and Shinji said together.
"I couldn't face the reality of my old world and escaped into a fantasy
world," the Shinji on the bottom with his penis pressed against Rei's vagina
explained.
The Shinji on top shook his head and scanned what remained of the
theater, which was broken wood panels and the cheerful ceiling he had
painted with Rei. "No... this was no fantasy world. It was like hell
itself!!"
"Only because you made it hell."
The Shinji on top gasped and stared at his other self. "What?!"
"You had all the time in the world with the three women you loved more
than life itself and what did you do?" The Shinji on the bottom shook his
head sadly. "You decided to make other worlds."
"What was I supposed to do?"
"Love them."
Shinji opened his mouth to reply, but shut it when he realized that he
was right. "I had a chance to love them and I ran away, didn't I?"
The Shinji on the bottom nodded.
"And in the end when I could open my heart to them and tell them that I
loved them, I lost them?"
The Shinji on the bottom nodded.
"Then why didn't you scrap the theater and do something else?"
"It was easier for me to let you do all the work of making a new world,
that's why."
The Shinji on top grew angry. "Why you lazy bastard!!"
The Shinji on the bottom shrugged his shoulders. "It seemed like a good
idea at the time."
"You jerk!" the Shinji on top spat, but was prevented from expounding
on that when his mother--make that the other Shinji's mother--put her hand
on his shoulder.
"Shinji, my son was only doing what his genes told him to do; just like
his father he let someone else do the dirty work."
"I'm not like my father!!" both Shinjis insisted.
Yui sighed. "So much alike."
The Shinji on top looked at Yui. "So you're not really my mother?"
Yui shook her head. "I never really said I was."
"You should have told me!!"
"I thought about it, but you seemed so happy to see me I didn't have
the heart." Yui rubbed Shinji's face.
Despite himself, the Shinji on top enjoyed the warmth of the woman who
he had thought to be his mother.
"So I'm not really carrying the souls of humanity and Misato's not
really my mother and..."
Yui shook her head. "No, all that was true. Of course, they actually
pertain to the third Rei over there." She nodded towards the Rei on top.
"That would make me the fourth then..." the Rei on the bottom said,
rubbing her stomach. She suddenly felt empty inside and started to wonder
what her purpose was if she wasn't carrying the souls of humanity any
longer.
"Don't worry, Four," the Rei on top said. "You're carrying the souls."
The Rei on the bottom looked confused. "Huh?"
"I didn't want stretch marks, so I let you carry them."
A part of the Rei on the bottom was elated. The other part wanted to
ream the other Rei a new one.
The Shinji on top looked between all the other people in the theater...
make that in the sea of LCL with bits of the theater floating in it "So what
do we do now?"
Yui smiled. "You could start by taking your cock out of that girl's
pussy."
Shinji gulped and started to withdraw.
The Rei on the bottom moaned. It wasn't clear if the moan was from
disappointment or ecstasy.
Probably a bit of both.
-E- -V- -A-
A pair of Shinjis and a pair of Reis sat cross-legged on a large chunk
of the theater floor that floated on the sea of LCL. The collection of
floorboards had torn free of the large concrete pilings that had once
supported the theater. It was just one of the large chunks of theater that
now littered the sea of LCL after the walls had collapsed when Shinji had
started to bang Rei and banged the wall instead.
So for several centuries, they stared at each other from the corners of
the square they formed on the floating floorboards until Yui floated over to
the four of them, her white robes fluttering like an angel as she touched
down on the chunk of floorboard. Her graceful landing was spoiled when her
added weight cased the floorboards to tip and send its occupants into the
sea of LCL.
One of the Shinji's was the first to surface. He looked around for the
others and the theater floor. "Crap!' he spat when he saw Rei sinking into
the LCL, a strange contented look on her face.
Shinji took a deep breath and dove under the LCL. He swam through the
thick liquid towards the sinking Rei. Just as his air was running out, he
grabbed her hand and started to rise towards the surface as fast as he
could.
Gasping for breath as he surfaced, Shinji pulled Rei out of the LCL and
swam over the floating floorboards with one hand. Pulling Rei--who still had
the same contented look on her face--up onto the floor, he coughed few times
and then looked at Rei. "Shit!" he swore when he noticed she wasn't
breathing.
Instinctively, he opened her mouth and pressed his own over hers.
Blowing several deep breaths into her lungs, he puled back and compressed
the center of her chest several times, her perky breasts bouncing with each
push. "Come on, Rei, breathe!! I'm not going to lose you after all we've
been through."
"Hey, dummy, we can breathe the LCL."
Shinji looked at the source of the voice and saw his own head rising
from the LCL. "Then why..." He looked down at Rei.
Rei opened her eyes and spoke. "I just wanted to know what a kiss felt
like."
"Rei!!" Shinji shouted in joy and smothered Rei with wet kisses. It
wasn't until Rei's face was covered with slobber that her words sunk into
Shinji's mind. "Wait... you're not my Rei, are you?"
Rei shook he head. "No, but it was a most interesting experience to be
slobbered on by you."
Shinji stopped slobbering on Rei and looked around frantically for his
Rei. His jaw dropped over when he saw her doing the backstroke in the LCL.
"Rei?"
Rei smiled and started to head over to the floating floorboard. "This
stuff is great to swim in."
Shinji laughed.
"Um... can you get off me now?"
Shinji looked down and realized he had his left hand on Rei's breast.
"Oops... sorry..." He slid his hand off her breast and looked towards the
other Rei.
"That's okay, it was a most simulating experience." Rei tilted her
head. "Is that what they call the breaststroke?"
Shinji's eyebrow rose as he remembered how his Rei used to be when
they first appeared in the theater. <This other Rei and Shinji haven't
changed at all over the millennia the rest of us spent in the theater,> he
thought as he carefully helped Rei up onto the floorboards.
Yui smiled apologetically from the other side of the floorboards.
"Sorry about that."
Rei looked up at Yui as she squeezed some LCL out of her hair. "Why do
you think we were sitting apart like that? It was to balance the
floorboards."
"I thought you were just having a long talk about what to do," Yui
remarked.
One of the Shinji's sighed. "We tried, but all we could agree on was
that we should call me and Rei, Shinji-prime and Rei-prime to avoid
confusion between the real us and these fakes." He pointed at the other
Shinji and Rei.
"I'd really wish you'd stop calling us fakes!" Shinji insisted.
Shinji-prime sighed. "Yeah... yeah... how about 'reality challenged'?"
Shinji slid towards Shinji-prime, but stopped when the floor started to
tilt. "Just be glad this floor is so unstable or I'd show you what I think
of that suggestion." He hit his hand with his fist.
Shinji-prime laughed. "Oh, I'm shaking in my boots," he said, ignoring
the fact that he wasn't wearing boots. Or anything else, for that matter.
For some unknown reason, Rei-prime chose that moment to look down at
her chest and then at the other Rei's chest. "My breasts are smaller than
hers."
"No they're not," Shinji-prime said, unconsciously covering his lap.
"Shinji-prime's penis is smaller than my Shinji's too," Rei said,
reaching over carefully and squeezing her Shinji's penis.
"That's not important right now!!" Shinji-prime insisted, blushing and
looking away.
"Fascinating," Rei-prime said as she forced Shinji-prime's hand away
from penis-prime and examined his member. "Apparently, when he created the
theater he unconsciously made his penis and my breasts bigger."
The other Rei laughed. "Yeah, my Shinji did the same thing in the
worlds he created." She looked hungrily at Shinji. "In fact, since this is
the body of Shinji from world six-six-six, it's even bigger than the Shinji
that Shinji-prime made."
"Fascinating." Rei tilted her head. "Why do men fixate on the size of
their penises and women's breasts so much?"
"They're all sex crazed perverts, that's why," Rei answered. "But
sometimes you find one that makes it worth putting up with their
perversions." She winked. "And you can even use those perversions to great
effect sometimes."
Rei-prime seemed to consider this for a moment. "You are quite
peculiar."
"You stick with me, girl, and these two Shinjis will be drooling over
us in no time."
Rei-prime tilted her head. "And that's a good thing?"
Rei smiled broadly. "It can be, if done right."
"Fascinating."
While the combo-Rei brought Rei-prime up to speed on the finer points
of men, sex, and everything else, the two Shinjis glared at each other.
"I don't care, I think it was a good solution!" Shinji snapped,
glancing at the frozen viewpoint that hovered at the spot where the theater
used to stand.
Shinji-prime shook his head. "Wiping out the history of Mankind just to
get Rei, Asuka, Hikari, Misato, and that nameless chick in the back of the
schoolroom as your sex slaves is not a good solution!!"
"Hey! Hikari is part of Touji and Kensuke's harmonious clan, not
mine!!" Shinji insisted.
Shinji-prime scratched his head. "Really?" Shinji nodded. "Well,
anyway... that was a real lame world."
"Was not!!"
"Was too!!"
"Look, you little boy, at least *I* tried to make a perfect world."
"Shut up!"
"What did you do? You just made some lame theater and then left it up
to me to make a new world for humanity."
"That's no way for you to talk about your creator!!"
"Oh, shove it!" Shinji snapped and chanced sliding a bit closer to
Shinji-prime. "I'm not only the creator of over six hundred worlds, I'm both
the created and creator in one." He tapped his head that held his merged
brain.
"Yeah, I enjoyed that bit." Shinji-prime laughed. "Watching you fall
off the Tokyo tower and spattering across the floor of the theater. If my
mom hadn't been bored and put you back together again, where would you be
now?"
"Well, I'm very thankful she put me back together and then merged our
brains, but that doesn't mean I'm going to take any crap from you,
dickhead!!"
Shinji-prime inched his way towards Shinji, making sure not to rock the
floorboards. "Take that back, buttwad!"
"In your dreams, pencildick!!"
"Asshole!"
"Mother-fucker!!"
"I never fucked my mother!"
"You did in world five-twenty-eight."
"That wasn't me, that was one of the fucked up worlds you made!"
"Well, you made me, so you're responsible for everything I did,
dipshit!"
"Don't push your failures off on me, asshole!"
"Don't call me asshole, you asshole."
"Don't call me asshole, goo-for-brains."
Having gotten within hitting distance of Shinji-prime, Shinji pulled
back his arm and aimed towards his own face.
Before he could swing, Rei walked casually over and grabbed his arm.
Amazingly, she managed to walk casually, but still avoid tipping the
floorboards over. "Shinji, come with me."
"Why?" Shinji asked, still glaring at his other self.
"I want you to fuck me."
Shinji gulped and looked at Rei. He glanced back at Shinji-prime and
considered if he wanted to fight himself or have mad, passionate sex with
Rei.
"Hey!!" Shinji-prime shouted as Shinji and Rei raced off to fuck each
other, rocking the floorboards in the process. Trying to steady himself, he
reached out and grabbed something firm.
"Don't grab me there unless you mean business, mister."
Shinji-prime squeezed the firm breast he had used to steady himself.
"Ah... sorry."
"That's okay." Rei titled her head. "While they are busy, want to go
fuck?"
"Rei?!" Shinji-prime gasped.
"What?"
Shinji-prime squeezed her breast again. "You're not my Rei, are you?"
Rei shook her head. "Your Rei wanted to find out what sex was like, so
I lent her Shinji for a while."
Shinji-prime glared in the direction of the grunting and panting
sounds. "Why that bastard!!":
Rei grabbed his arm to prevent him from storming off. "It's okay.
Unlike you two Shinjis, I can get along with myself and share my toys."
"Toys?"
Rei's eyes looked down at Shinji-prime's crotch.
Shinji-prime gulped loudly and covered his lap.
"Oh... so you wanna fuck?"
Shinji giggled like a little schoolgirl. "My Rei would never talk like
that."
"Probably not." Rei raised one eyebrow. "Well?"
"I don't know..." Shinji-prime looked away awkwardly.
Rei sighed. "Such a boring little boy."
Shinji-prime's eyes widened. "What is it with you girls and that
line!!"
-E- -V- -A-
One perverted, kinky, and twisted sex scene later, Rei-prime lay on top
of Shinji's chest. "Was that it?"
Shinji flinched. "Um... yeah..."
"That other Rei seems to enjoy it so much, but I failed to see the
point in all that humping and grinding, not to mention the panting and
moaning."
"Um... well... it was your first time."
"Oh, so the second time is better?"
"Probably. The half of me that remembers all sorts of weird events
surrounding sex seemed to enjoy it more as time went on."
"What made it better?"
Shinji grinned slightly. "Less interruptions, mostly."
"Oh, so can we do it again then?"
Shinji opened his mouth to answer, but Rei beat him to it.
"Nope, you've had your turn. Go fuck your own Shinji this time," Rei
said as she tiptoed over on the unsteady floorboards.
Rei-prime looked up at the other Rei. "Oh... okay." Springing to her
feet, she did an impressive backwards summersault and landed behind Rei,
only causing the floorboards to shift slightly in the process.
"Damn, if she can do that why couldn't she..." Shinji trailed off as he
noticed Rei glaring at him. "Hi, honey." He smiled like only a boyfriend who
had just screwed another woman who happens to be virtually identical to his
girlfriend could.
"I only lent you to her that one time, so I hope you're ready to rock
my world."
"Um... sure."
Rei looked down at the obviously spent Shinji and smiled. "Or we can
just cuddle here for a little while." She slid down on top of Shinji and
wiggled into a comfortable position.
Shinji sighed in appreciation and wrapped his arms around Rei. Within
moments, the couple blissfully fell asleep in each other's arms.
-E- -V- -A-
Rei screamed as her abdominal muscles contracted, causing her to push
out of instinct.
Shinji knelt by her side and looked on worriedly until he was slapped
savagely across the face by one of Rei's flailing arms. Falling sideways, he
grunted and rubbed his red face. "Ooo..."
Rei growled again.
Asuka was kneeling between Rei's spread legs and gasped suddenly. "Buu
fuu poo poo!!" she exclaimed suddenly, which meant 'That's the biggest turd
I've ever seen!!'
Rei was sweating furiously and looked down at the redheaded girl. "Poo
poo?" she said, which meant 'turd?'
Asuka nodded and then said, "Ewwwww..." when a foot long object poured
out from Rei's vagina along with a lot of blood.
Rei grunted as the last spasm finished cascading through her exhausted
body. "Muu poo poo fuu woo poo poo," she said, which meant 'I never want to
lay a turd like that turd again'.
Suddenly, the turd started to cry.
Naturally, this surprised everyone out by the shitting tree that was
one tree over from the lesbian's tree.
"Poo poo coo," Asuka said, prodding the turd with a stick. Roughly
translated, that meant 'Your turd is crying'.
"Coo poo poo?" Rei said, straining to see her turd.
Shinji crawled over--out of the range of Rei's arms--and looked closely
at the turd. "Hhhhhhh..." he muttered as he wiped the blood off the turd.
Rei and Asuka ewwwww'ed in unison.
"Nuu fuu poo poo, iuuuuuu!!" Shinji said as he put his finger in the
little turn's mouth. Translated that meant 'It's not a turd, it's a...
argh!!'. Shinji tried to free his finger from the jaw of the little turd.
"Guuu guuu guuu!!" he screamed, which meant 'Get it off, get it off!!'
Rei reached forward and pulled the turd off Shinji's finger. She was
about to toss it into the shit pile with the rest of the shit, but then it
started sucking on her breast. "Ewwwww.... poo poo suu boo boos," she said,
meaning 'Ewwwww... the turd is sucking on my joy bags'.
Asuka prodded the turd with the stick again. "Yuu goo fuu poo poo. iuu
suu puu," she said, which meant 'I don't think it's a turd after all, I
think it's a little person'.
Rei frowned and looked at her turd's eyes. As the mother's eyes made
contact with the baby's eyes, a strange and unfamiliar warmth passed through
Rei and the strain and pain of passing the turd was forgotten. A smile
formed on her face and she cradled the turd against her bosom. "Poo poo iuu
fuu luu," she said, meaning 'I love my turd'.
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji shook his head as he came out of his trance. "I hope they stop
calling it a turd..." he mumbled softly.
"What was that?" Shinji-prime asked.
Not softly enough, apparently.
Shinji flinched and looked over at where his other self sat with a Rei
on either side of him. "Um... nothing." He point back at the frozen
viewpoint. "See? They are already reproducing in my
really-really-I-meant-it-this-time-perfect world."
"Well, that doesn't mean it's perfect." Shinji-prime looked at the
viewpoint. "I mean... they almost threw it in a pile of shit."
Shinji shrugged. "They're learning things by trial and error. You can't
expect them to get it perfect on the first try."
Shinji-prime smiled in that smug way that drove the other Shinji
bonkers. "But I thought this was your
really-really-I-mean-it-this-time-perfect world?"
Shinji proceeded to wipe Shinji-prime's smile off his face with a
combination of right hooks and left jabs.
"Stop beating yourself up, Shinji."
Shinji's latest swing to his own face paused as Yui floated over.
"Okay..." he muttered as he bashed Shinji-prime right between the eyes.
Shinji-prime collapsed and clutched his bloody nose on top of the
floorboards, which had been stabilized by tying the floating wooden arc to
one of the concrete pilings near the viewpoint.
Shinji walked over to the two Reis and Yui. "But he gets on my nerves,
Mom!"
Yui shook her head. "I'm not your mother; I'm the mother of the boy you
were beating up."
Shinji sighed. "Sorry, but he won't admit that my
really-really-I-mean-it-this-time-perfect world is the best choice for the
new human race."
"Just because you can't get your way doesn't mean it's okay to use
violence, Shinji," Yui said, putting a motherly hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah..."
"Now... if you can't decide what to do without killing each other, I'll
just have to decide."
Shinji's eyes opened wide. "No!! You'll make some boring world where
there's nothing but prudes and singing Disney characters!"
Yui shook her head. "First, that's an oxymoron, but..."
"I'm not a moron!!" To prove it, Shinji shook his head violently around
and then showed his ears to Yui. "See? No brain ooze."
Yui sighed. "Anyway, it's not true. I'd never make a world like that."
She looked closely at Shinji's penis. Looked VERY closely. "I didn't put the
fig leaves back on, did I?"
Growing uncomfortable with his mother--or a close approximation of his
mother--kneeling in front of him and staring at his manhood, Shinji stepped
back. "Well, that's only because you ran out of leaves!!"
Yui flinched as Shinji hit the nail right on the head. "Well... just
because I think people shouldn't run around buck naked like you four are,
doesn't mean I can't create a good world too."
Shinji sighed. "I know, but this is my responsibility to do it."
"Actually, it's mine, jerk," Shinji-prime snapped as he wiped some
blood of his lip.
Shinji glared at himself. "Not any more!! You gave up the
responsibility when you let me continue to make worlds in my theater."
"Don't talk to your creator that way, you little... ooooof!"
Shinji-prime's power trip was interrupted by a swift knee to his balls.
Shinji's mouth dropped open as he saw his other self clutch his crotch,
crumple to the floor, and writhe around in pain. He looked at Yui. "Why did
you do that?"
Yui lowered her knee. "Because he's gotten a little full of himself
after he created you, the others, and the theater. Waiting in this vast
ocean of LCL with Rei sitting on top of his manhood must have bent his
unstable little mind."
"He didn't even put it in me while we waited," Rei-prime complained for
some unknown reason.
Yui shook her head. "Great, now we've got three sex-crazed teenagers
here."
"I won't lose my virginity until I'm married, honest, Mommy!"
Shinji shook his head. "I can't believe this wimp is me."
"I'm not you, I'm your creator!"
Needless to say, Shinji-prime got another ball kicking. This time from
Shinji.
Then Rei and Rei-prime took their turns.
-E- -V- -A-
"Rock, paper, scissors!!"
Shinji held out a closed fist, while Shinji-prime held out two fingers.
"Shit... best five out of nine!!" Shinji-prime spat.
-E- -V- -A-
"Rock, paper, scissors!!"
Shinji held out a flat hand, while Shinji-prime held out a closed fist.
"Shit... best fifty out of ninety," Shinji-prime insisted.
-E- -V- -A-
"Rock, paper, scissors!!"
Shinji held out two fingers, while Shinji-prime held out a flat hand.
"Shit... best five hundred million out of nine hundred million!!"
Shinji-prime pleaded.
Shinji sighed. "No!! I'm sick of this. You're just prolonging the
inevitable!!"
"Nothing is inevitable if you can hide from it long enough!!"
Shinji-prime snapped back.
Shinji recoiled from the lame response. "That is so fucking lame!! You
have to face life, not hide from it!!"
Shinji-prime's eyes narrowed. "Who are you? No creation of mine could
be so rational."
Shinji smirked. "I'm not you, you moron! I may have started as your
creation, but I have learned and grown into a different person..." He
paused. "Two different persons, actually. I've decided to stop running away
from life, you should too!!"
"Don't act all smug because you've got that extra goo between your
ears."
"It's solid now!!" Shinji insisted, clenching his fist.
"Stop it now!" Yui yelled as she did a graceful summersault in mid air
before landing.
"Showoff..." Shinji muttered.
"Now then... if you two can't decide what to do with the human race,
I'll have to decide."
"No!!" both Shinjis insisted.
"Well, then maybe I should merge both of your minds?" Yui suggested.
"No!!" both Reis insisted and ran over from where they had been...
cleaning themselves. Yes, cleaning. That's the only reason they would have
been licking each other, right? There's nothing kinky or sexual happening on
the arc. Really.
"You can't merge them!" Rei pleaded. "The readers would have a fit if
the author repeated that gory brain surgery sequence!"
"Yeah, plus that would reduce the number of penises on the arc!"
Rei-prime explained.
"Huh?" Shinji gasped.
Rei smirked and exchanged a sly smile with the other Rei, her pupil in
love. "And the animals were led onto the arc, two by two." She winked at
Shinji.
Shinji laughed heartily, scaring the shit out of Shinji-prime.
Shinji-prime looked up from the fresh pile of shit on the floorboards
beneath him. "I wish you wouldn't laugh like that... it's not something I'm
used to hearing myself do."
Shinji exhaled deeply. "And that's your problem. You're so wrapped up
in the hell that your life was, you can't step back and enjoy your life."
Shinji-prime's lip twitched. "Don't you mean afterlife?"
Shinji shook his head. "No, we didn't die during Third Impact. Well...
you didn't."
"No, but everyone else did..."
"Yes, but they are waiting for us to give them a world to be reborn
into."
Shinji-prime looked at Shinji. "Us?"
"I can't do it alone..."
Shinji-prime looked at the frozen viewpoint. "You're that sure that
your Garden of Eva is the way to go?"
Shinji nodded.
"But if we release the souls into that one now..."
Shinji nodded. "I know... it's okay."
Shinji-prime silently appraised himself for several moments before
speaking again. "You'd give up your life... no... your very existence to
make that garden a reality?"
Shinji nodded. "After going though hundreds of alternatives... failed
alternatives... I have no doubt that my garden is the true future for the
human race."
Shinji-prime could see that his other self was dead serious and was
prepared to trade his existence to ensure the next stage of Humanity. <I
couldn't do that... could I?> Doubts flooded into his mind as he searched
his soul for the same answer. All he found were excuses. "And the sum of all
human knowledge up to Third Impact that's currently contained within Unit
One's core? Does it just disappear forever?"
Shinji frowned. Despite his confidence that his latest world would work
out, he did regret erasing all of human history to build that world. Well,
except for the four years of terror that followed Second Impact and George
W. Bush's election. Historians still couldn't decide which event really did
more long term damage to the world. Of course, those historians were now
reduced to LCL and their souls were inside Rei, so the point was probably
moot as far as they were concerned.
Shinji finally made his decision and was just about to wipe out the
history of the world when he remembered that he would also be destroying all
the music of his favorite singer. He sighed as he remembered all the classic
music he had heard since he was just a baby and continually played and
replayed in his portable tape player as his world sucked and blew around
him. "Well... maybe we can preserve the history somehow."
Shinji-prime smiled. "Good, I'd hate to think that all those classic
Brittany Spears songs would be gone for good."
Shinji smiled back and nodded his agreement.
-E- -V- -A-
At the end of one world and the beginning of another...
Shinji fucked Rei like there was no tomorrow. Mostly since they knew
there was no tomorrow for them.
"Oh, Shinji!!"
"Oh, Rei!!"
If Asuka was there, she'd have thrown up.
Without being distracted by a vomit spewing redhead, Rei and Shinji
reached orgasm together, collapsing into each other's arms and holding on
for the rest of their time together.
"Nope, that didn't work."
Shinji and Rei looked up with weary eyes at the three people who had
just observed them fuc... making love like two wild hyenas until their
brains started to ooze out of their brains. Figuratively, since their brains
were now as solid as most people's thick brains. Maybe even thicker.
"Crap... are you sure this is how we have to complete Third Impact and
transfer the souls to the Garden of Eva?" Shinji asked Yui, sitting up with
Rei still wrapped in his arms.
Yui nodded. "Yes, the love between a man and a woman is the final
trigger."
"Maybe he doesn't love me... err... her."
The others all looked at Rei-prime and studied her face to try and
determine if there was some deeper meaning behind her slip of the tongue.
There was.
Shinji looked at Shinji-prime and smiled. "Maybe it's not us who have
to complete Third Impact."
Shinji-prime gasped and glanced awkwardly at Rei-prime. "Well... I..."
"I'm willing to give it a try," Rei-prime said softly.
Shinji-prime gulped loudly and looked at Shinji. "You knew this all
along, didn't you?"
Shinji blushed. "Well... I..."
Rei smiled and looked behind her at Shinji's smiling face. "You just
wanted to make love to me before we vanished forever, didn't you?"
"Well... yeah..."
Rei stretched her neck up and gave Shinji a long kiss.
"But why did you have to have sex with her forty-five times in a row
before telling us?" Rei-prime asked, studying the kiss.
Shinji smiled after breaking his lip lock with Rei. "Because it was
very enjoyable."
"I see," Rei-prime said, turning towards Shinji-Prime. "Shinji, please
fuck me now."
Shinji-prime's loud gulp cracked the concrete pilings and caused the
arc to rock as it broke free of its improvised moorings.
-E- -V- -A-
Rei-prime arched her back as Shinji-prime pumped her full of... LCL.
With each thrust, the level of LCL that the arc floated on decreased as it
flowed into her waiting womb. How it got from the sea of LCL and into
Shinji-prime's testicles to be pumped into Rei-prime's womb is either one of
those things that will never be explained or a real gross image involving
his asshole.
The reader is free to pick which explanation to envision. But please
don't puke in the LCL if you chose the later, because that would be even
more disgusting.
Even as her womb filled with the protoplasmic soup known as LCL, her
belly was still as flat as it was when Shinji first slipped his rigid member
into her.
"Oh... oh... oh..." both Rei's gasped.
Yes, both.
What better way to spend your last precious moments of existence than
screwing the one you love?
Yui looked on as her son finally lost his virginity. Most mothers would
have probably tried to stop it or give a long boring speech about the birds
and the bees. And that is what she would have done if the future of the
human race wasn't dependant on two of the four teenagers in front of her
fucking each other's brains out. Instead, Yui was looking back and forth
between the two couples and comparing their techniques. <The Shinji my son
made is much better... maybe Gendou wasn't lying when he said practice makes
perfect.> She sighed. <I should have had more sex with him before getting
him castrated, I guess.> She tilted her head to the left. <Gendou could
never have done that...> She tilted her head to the other side. <And he'd
have died if he tried that...>
Suddenly, every muscle in both Rei's bodies contracted and they
screamed in ecstasy as the orgasm to end all orgasms rippled through every
fiber of their beings.
Or being.
For one brief and glorious moment, the two Reis... or five Reis
depending on how you counted Reis... were one. One mind. One body. One soul.
The two Shinjis were still two. Plus they were in incredible pain as
the muscles of the Reis/Rei contracted around their love shafts.
Then the Reis were five again.
Yes... five.
A five-year-old Rei lay on the arc, her little neck twisted in a way
that could only be fatal.
A fourteen-year-old Rei... well pieces of her flesh, at least... was
riddled with mutated veins and deformed limbs and organs.
Pieces of a fifteen-year-old Rei were scattered across the arc in the
same pattern as they were after she fell from the Tokyo-3 Mega Tower. They
were only slightly more recognizable than the mutated Rei's body parts.
The other two Reis were still on the end of the two Shinji's penises.
Except one of them was very, very pregnant.
Rei screamed as the souls with in her started to combine with the LCL
within the other Rei and form Humanity.
Yes, Humanity.
The whole race.
As an inner glow started to consume Rei from the inside out, her
stomach stretched to the breaking point and beyond,
Without warning, her body blew apart. One would expect--especially long
time Garden of Eva readers--a bloody orgy of flesh being torn from bones,
but that's not what happened.
Rei's body did burst, but as it did millions and billions of tiny balls
of LCL-charged lights flew from her womb, passing through each and every
cell of her body.
As the souls of the new humanity started to swirl around them, Shinji
looked down at the spot where Rei had just been. For a second, he saw her
face staring back at him. It smiled contently before fading from view.
"Rei..." he whispered wistfully.
As the last of the LCL was absorbed into the souls, Yui watched from
outside the spinning sphere of souls as they--and the three teenagers
within--slowly were funneled into the new world of Humanity; the Garden of
Eva.
"And so it all ends... again. And begins... again," Yui said, looking
around the empty space that had previously been occupied by the LCL and
ruins of the theater. Emptied of he protoplasmic fluid, the distant walls
could now be seen. Although various debris were strew against the curved
walls, it was now obvious that they had been within a large black sphere.
That sphere had been known as the geofront to the people who had worked
in the Tokyo-3 NERV headquarters.
Now only Yui was left to float in the middle of the empty sphere. After
endless hours of starting at the ruins of the theater, the fragments of the
NERV headquarters pyramid, Kaji's watermelon plants--which had somehow
remained intact through Third Impact and the passing millennia--and other
miscellaneous debris, she sighed and looked away.
That was when she saw the single object that floated at the exact
center of the sphere.
"How can that still be here?"
-E- -V- -A-
Rei walked slowly through the green pasture, clutching a small baby to
her chest. She hummed a tune as it sucked gently on her teat, feasting on
her motherly juices.
Shinji and Asuka strolled along next to her, fascinated with the
newest addition to their harmonious clan. The unnamed girl who used to sit
in the back of the classroom, skipped behind them, picking flowers.
The other boys and girls that called the green paradise home stopped
and stared as the mother, father, and their other harmonious clan members
walked by.
"Fuu doo doo?" a young Ritsuko asked, looking up from young Maya's lips
that she had just been kissing.
The reader may chose which set of lips she was kissing.
In any case, Ritsuko had asked, 'Where did the little person come
from?'
Rei smiled and pointed at her vaginal folds. "Duu coo suu vuu."
Ristuko looked down at Maya's vaginal folds, which were glistening with
saliva.
Okay, so I chose for you after all.
"Luu suu doo?" Ritsuko asked, meaning 'Little people come out of
there?'
Rei nodded.
"Huu?"
Rei and the rest of her harmonious clan shrugged their shoulders.
Maya had stood up and walked over to Rei and the baby. As she watched
the nursing child, something stirred in her. Some instinct that she couldn't
quite place. A longing. She looked at Ritsuko. "Muu fuu boo boo zoo," she
said, which translated as 'For some reason, I want a little person like
that."
Ritsuko understood, she had similar feelings on seeing the mother and
child. "Suu wuu fuu boo boo," she said, which meant 'Sure, we'll have a
little person of our own'.
Maya smiled broadly and took Ritsuko's outstretched hand. The two of
them skipped off together to their all female harmonious clan to make a
little person.
As they ran off to attempt the impossible, they passed by a glowing
sphere of light made up of billions of swirling lights. Like the others that
ran around the green pasture, they didn't even notice it.
Nor did they notice the two balls of light that separated from the mass
of glowing lights and shot towards them.
But they did pause as the lights entered their bodies and lit them up
like a tacky Christmas display. They seem momentarily puzzled, but quickly
started towards the tree their all-girl harmonious clan called home. They
were unchanged, but somehow they seemed more full of life and energy.
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji-prime watched the souls enter Ritsuko and Maya before looking
down at Rei-prime, who was still embedded on the end of his penis. "Unless
Shinji changed a few facts of biology, they are going to be disappointed
when they try to have a baby."
Rei-prime looked over at Shinji, who was sitting cross-legged nearby.
"Life isn't always fair."
Shinji-prime nodded. "I don't know if I could have given you up like he
did."
Rei-prime smiled.
Shinji looked up from something he held cupped in his hands. "My Rei's
not gone..." He tilted his hands so they could see the tiny blue haired
embryo he held in his hands, which looked remarkably like the embryonic Adam
that Kaji had delivered to Gendou. Only cuter. "She's here and..." He
scanned the billions of lights that surrounded them. "She's all around us. A
part of her is in each of these souls that will be reborn into the new
Humanity."
Shinji-prime nodded. "Yes... and a part of you will be too."
Shinji sighed. "I don't know... I kind of expected my existence to end
when she gave birth to the new human race."
"Humanity needs a mother and father, doesn't it?" Rei asked.
Shinji smiled slightly. "Yes, but Humanity will have to find it's own
way now. For better or worse."
"I'm sure it will be alright, you just..." Shinji-prime went silent as
a young teenage boy ran by him, just outside the glowing whirlwind of souls.
"No!!" he screamed and started to shake violently. "He can't be here!"
Shinji looked at the boy Shinji-prime was staring at, the fifth member
of Shinji's harmonious clan. "Oh..."
"Oh... OH?!" Shinji-prime snapped. "How can you be so calm about seeing
him after what he did to me... you... us?!"
Shinji's response was accompanied by a contented smile. "Because I love
him... WE love him."
Shinji-prime recoiled in horror.
"But not in that way..." Shinji winked.
-E- -V- -A-
Hauling a large, roughly hewn satchel over his shoulder, Kaworu bounded
up to the rest of his harmonious clan and frowned. "What is that thing
chewing on her joy bags?" he asked, not bothering to go through the usual
translation process since the author is tired of doing that.
Rei smiled. "It's my little person."
"Where'd you find it?" Kaworu asked, opening up his satchel and showing
off the coconuts inside. "I didn't see anything like it on my foraging trip,
but I found some more of these things." He looked between his haul and the
baby. "But yours looks like it'll be good to eat too."
Rei frowned and instinctively clutched her baby tighter against her
chest. "My little person is not for eating."
"Oh... what's it for?" Kaworu asked.
Rei didn't have an answer for that. She just knew that the little
person in her arms was hers and needed her protection and nurturing. As she
searched for an answer a word popped into her mind. "Love."
"What is love?" Kaworu asked, but no one had answer.
Of course, no one could truly answer that even in the world that
preceded the new world. Vague notions of what it was were constantly
exchanged between lovers, friends, and family. And occasionally debated on
daytime talk shows.
But in the end, no one could truly answer that simple question.
What is love?
The five members of Shinji's harmonious clan didn't dwell on the
question for long, they had more pressing matters.
"Ewww... little person pee pee on you!" Asuka exclaimed as a yellow
liquid flowed down Rei's stomach.
Rei pulled her little person away from her. "Hmmm..." For some reason,
she handed the little person to Shinji. "Here, clean it up like last time."
Even in the new world, the father gets stuck with cleaning up their
children's messes.
The more things change...
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji-prime watched the happy five-plus-one-some walk off towards
their tree, laughing and passing the little person between them. "They look
happy together."
"I know how you feel about Kaworu, but denying his existence by leaving
him out of the new world will only lead to pain." Shinji looked around him
at the glowing souls. "I tried leaving him out of my last world, but he
appeared and played the serpent's role." He looked out at the peaceful
pasture. "My Garden of Eva will only have a serpent if they evolve the need
for one."
Shinji-prime still looked trouble. "But will he betray us again?"
Shinji shook his head. "I don't know, but did he betray us or did we
betray ourselves by refusing the love of others around us and putting our
trust in him. All because..."
Shinji-prime finished for Shinji. "All because he said the words, while
the others wouldn't or couldn't say them."
Shinji nodded.
"Maybe love is more than words," Rei said softly.
The two Shinjis had no reason to disagree.
Or the time to.
Without warning, the spinning souls reversed direction and started to
funnel upwards.
"Whaaaa...." Shinji-prime and Rei-prime said and looked up.
"The rest of the souls will wait in the geofront until they are
needed," Shinji said as he watched the souls spiral upwards towards the
black moon that hung in the late afternoon sky. Like the Moon that had given
birth to Humanity the first time around and still orbited the Earth opposite
the black moon, the new moon would hold the souls for future generations.
The new Room of Gafs was full once again.
"But aren't they needed?" Rei-prime asked.
"In time, but the new world cannot support billions of people to all at
once. And definitely not at the primitive state they are starting out at. So
the souls will wait in the new Well of Souls until they are needed."
Shinji-prime nodded his understanding. "The new Children of Eva will
have to grow from the small number of harmonious clans that you've spread
out across the whole world."
Shinji nodded.
Rei-prime frowned. "Not all of them will survive, will they?"
Shinji gulped. "I don't know. There are no assurances in life, but I
have..." He paused, amazed at what he was about to say. "I have faith in the
human race's will to survive." And especially amazed that he really meant
it.
The three of them silently watched the souls soar into the sky, briefly
lighting up the black moon as they sunk into its surface. The black moon
already bore several impact craters from debris impacting its formerly
smooth surface. The debris that were blasted into orbit along with the
geofront would slowly transform the black moon into a cratered world not
unlike the Earth's first Moon, itself a remnant of First Impact.
Shinji-prime helped Rei-prime to her feet. "I guess it's our turn to
leave now."
Rei-prime nodded and looked at Shinji. "Thank you."
Shinji shook his head. "No, I should thank you both for giving me the
chance to live."
An uneasy silence followed as the three naked teenagers looked at each
other for the last time.
"Well?" Shinji-prime said, breaking the silence.
"Well, what?" Shinji responded.
"Are you going to thank us or not?"
Shinji's jaw dropped.
Shinji-prime smirked. "Gotcha..."
"Damn, I'm a real bastard."
Rei-prime nodded. "Yes, you both are great big bastards."
Both Shinjis looked at Rei for several seconds before laughing.
Rei-prime stepped forward and embraced Shinji. "Thank you for making me
human."
Shinji closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of Rei. It wasn't the
feel of her firm teenage breasts pressed against his scrawny chest that
filled him with joy, although it was the reason for his erection. No, the
reason for the warmth that spread through him was the love that he felt for
Rei, himself, and the rest of Humanity.
And to think, it had only taken the complete destruction of the world
and the creation of a new one for Shinji to finally and truly know what love
was.
Unfortunately, it's impossible to describe exactly what Shinji was
feeling at that moment and convey it to the reader.
So we'll just throw in a lame joke instead.
"Is that a penis pressing into my stomach or are you just horny?"
Shinji smiled and kissed Rei-prime's forehead. "Both."
Rei smiled as she stepped back. And for a moment, she was all the Reis
once again, smiling lovingly at Shinji. In the next moment she was just
glowing ball of light.
"Goodbye..." A tear rolled down Shinji's face as he looked towards his
other self, his creator, and his worse nightmare. "Goodbye and thank you."
"I guess I should say something deep and meaningful here."
Shinji nodded.
As the cells in his body started to glow and compress him into a small
tennis ball sized ball of light, Shinji-prime said one word.
"Live."
One of Shinji's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Live?" He muttered as
the two glowing souls started to spin around him. "My life ends now, but I
will live on within you both."
After a minute or so, the two souls stopped revolving around Shinji and
shot off towards the retreating figures of Shinji's harmonious clan, passing
through Shinji's body on the way.
Shinji gasped as he, Shinji-prime, and Rei-prime we all one for a split
second. All three minds mingled, their memories merging into one. The three
people--or four if you count the two Shinjis previously merged into
one--become one watched the two memory-less souls fly off and enter the
Shinji and Rei that called the green pastures of the Garden of Eva home.
The Garden of Eva's Shinji and Rei paused, the rest of their harmonious
clan continuing towards their tree. Looking behind themselves, they saw the
vague outline of a boy.
Rise, young boy, to the heavens like a legend.
Shinji and Rei followed the rising figure as it soared into the
heavens, towards the dark sphere in the sky.
So, boy, stand tall and embrace the fire of the legend, embracing the
universe like a blazing star!
Before Shinji and Rei's eyes the figure seemed to wrap its arms around
the dark sphere, which exploded with the light of a million suns, spreading
its warmth over the pristine Garden of Eva.
Shinji looked at Rei and Rei looked at Shinji. They couldn't describe
what they had just seen and they couldn't understand it. But deep inside
they felt slightly different, as if they were only then... alive.
Shinji held out his hand, and smiled as Rei slipped her fingers between
his. Taking one last look at the gradually dimming orb in the sky, they
turned and ran off towards their harmonious clan, hand in hand.
Ran off towards their future.
And the future of Humanity.
-E- -V- -A-
At the beginning of the new world...
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji floated in space between the black moon with its fresh craters
and the crucified remains of Evangelion Unit One, which still orbited the
Earth where it had been when Third Impact wiped out the human race and
reduced the Earth to a blackened cinder.
But that Earth now it teamed with life. Some of the old continents
could still be made out, but it was only a passing resemblance. Where
wastelands, deserts, and uninhabitable land once stretched for as far as the
eye could see, green pastures and lush forests now cascaded over gently
rolling hills.
In time, the natural forces would slowly change the world to a
precarious balance between life and death once again, but for now Humanity
would have a world green with life.
Shinji smiled down on the world he had made. And it was good.
Looking around in the heaven he floated in, his eyes settled on Unit
One. What was almost his tomb several times, now would preserve the history
and memories of the former human race.
"It's time," he said to himself... or more accurately, the other selves
contained within his mind.
"Yes," Shinji-prime's memories replied. Just his memories. His soul was
down on Earth along with Rei's soul.
"We will always remember," Rei-prime's memories said as they left
Shinji's mind and drifted towards Unit One on a trail of pure thought.
"Be at peace now, Shinji," Shinji-prime's memories thought as they
followed Rei-prime's thoughts.
Shinji just watched the thoughts enter Unit One, not that he could
actually see them with his eyes. But he knew exactly where they were
regardless. Almost the instant they entered, Unit One sprouted wings.
Golden wings of the most delicate feathers.
Wings of an angel.
With a mighty flap. Unit One slipped away from the Earth's gravity and
began its eternal voyage through the universe.
"For as long as you travel, the great accomplishments and great
failures of the prior human race shall forever be preserved," Shinji
whispered, not that there was anyone or anything that could hear him in the
vacuum of space.
For several years he watched Unit One slowly move off into the
universe, until it vanished from his sight.
Then he wondered... again... why he still existed. "Surely my job is
done?!" he screamed to no one and nothing in particular.
"Yes, your job is done."
Shinji spun around, breaking all the laws of physics in being able to
do so while hanging in empty space. But then he'd broken all those laws and
more already, so why stop now? "Mom?"
Yui smiled, deciding not to argue the point. "Your job is finished
now," she said as she floated by Shinji, her robes fluttering even in the
windless space.
Shinji felt relief inside at hearing that, but there was still on
nagging issue on his mind. That issue was the fact that he still had a mind
to have a nagging issue with. "Why am I here?"
Yui nodded thoughtfully. "Man has asked himself that for his entire
history without truly knowing the answer." She glanced at where Unit One had
disappeared. "And will do so again." She looked down at the new Earth.
"No! Why am *I* STILL here if my job is done?!" Shinji snapped.
Yui smiled sweetly. "I'm a bit surprised at that myself... but I think
I know the answer." She held out her hand toward Shinji.
"What?"
"I'll show you." Yui stretched out her hand farther.
Shinji took the hand and then almost vomited as they accelerated to
light speed instantly. He would have liked to scream, but it wasn't possible
as his lungs seemed to have been left behind.
Yui--with Shinji in tow--plunged down towards the surface of the black
moon. Just before they hit, they vanished...
-E- -V- -A-
...and reappeared in the center of the geofront.
Shinji gasped in surprise at the intricate dance of the souls around
him. Not content to just wait motionless for their turn to inhabit a newborn
baby, the souls spun around in seemingly random directions, but the end
result was that of a well choreographed dance number.
Eat your heart out, Steven Spielburg.
"It's amazing!" Shinji said, mesmerized by the rainbows that spun
between each soul, like a trillion little multi-colored spider webs.
"Yes, but the Room of Gafs is not what I wanted to show you."
Shinji looked back at Yui. "If not the Well of Souls, then what do you
want me to see here?"
Yui floated to the side, revealing a large stone tablet that was slowly
spinning in the exact center of the geofront.
"What is that?" Shinji asked, leaning forward.
"Look closely," Yui said, smiling.
Shinji slid forward, only having to think to do so from where he
floated. He examined the tablet for several seconds, noticing that it was
actually several thin stone pieces stacked together. He gasped.
"The last perfect world I made..."
Yui nodded.
"But I discarded it and made my Garden of Eva."
Yui shook her head.
"But... then... it still exists?"
Yui nodded. "When you left the theater and entered that world-" She
pointed at the stone storyboards. "-it was set in stone."
Shinji stared blankly at Yui.
"Deep within you, there was a part of you that had accepted that world
and so it was destined to be the next world for humanity."
Shinji's jaw dropped open. "But... but... but..."
Yui reached over and closed Shinji's flapping mouth with her hand.
"You're not a motorboat, Shinji."
Shinji gulped. "But I made my Garden of Eva and THAT'S the new world."
A horrible thought struck him. "Isn't it? It has to be!! I want that world
to last, dammit!!"
Yui smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, your Garden of Eva is humanity's
new world. Nothing can change that now except for another Impact and there's
no chance of another one of those for quite some time."
Shinji relaxed, but still looked at the stone storyboards with
trepidation. "Then..."
"Because I merged your two brains together into that-" Yui glanced at
the storyboards. "-world's Shinji's body, Third Impact was reset and allowed
you to make another world and set that in stone as well. But while that
world was populated with the souls of Humanity, this world has none."
"So..." Shinji prompted, still having no clue as to what Yui was
talking about.
"It can't be the real world for Humanity, but it is real for you. Hence
why you still exist."
Shinji looked at the storyboards. "But I don't really want it to be
real."
Yui shook her head. "Yes, you do. A part of you does or it would never
have been set in stone in the first place. Plus at least half of you is a
part of that world."
"So, I'm dammed to spend eternity in that living hell?"
"Only if you make it hell yourself."
"Without Rei, it would be hell."
"Rei's still a part of that world."
"But... she... she became a part of every soul," Shinji said, scanning
the souls that spun all around them. "And..." He looked down at the blue
haired embryo he still held gently in his hands.
"Yes, but as your existence is bound to that world, so is her's."
"So we can be together again?" Shinji asked, his will to live
rekindling itself.
"Yes, all it needs is for you to will it as you reenter that world."
Doubt crossed Shinji's mind. "I don't now... things were pretty bad in
that world at the end."
"Where there's a will..."
Shinji finished the statement. "...there's a way."
Yui nodded. "Goodbye... my son." With that she started to fade away.
"No!! " Shinji yelled and reached for her. "Don't go, Mom!!"
Yui shook her head. "You don't need me any more. None of my sons do.
Trust in your will and everything will turn out okay."
Shinji started to sob as Yui faded forever. "Mom..."
He wasn't sure how long it was--it could have been a minute or several
billion millennia--but as he hung there and felt the weight of the decision
bearing down on his shoulders the souls surrounding him slowly and
methodically swarmed around him, one after the other. But he was in no mood
to pay attention, he just couldn't bring himself to reenter world
six-six-six.
But even as his conscious will refused to make the leap, his
subconscious was willing... and able... to take the first and most important
step.
"Shinji?"
Shinji's eyes went wide and the sound of the voice he had willed into
existence once again. The souls had dutifully listened to his true will and
reassembled her from the bits and pieces they carried within them. "Rei?" He
said, looking down at his empty hands.
The blue haired embryo was gone.
"Thank you for keeping us together," Rei whispered as she wrapped her
arms around his back and snuggled against him.
At that moment, Shinji knew without a doubt that he wanted to spend the
rest of his life with the woman he loved. What world didn't matter, not even
a fake world. "Rei..." he said softly. He turned around, so that he could
look into her eyes. "That word isn't perfect."
Rei smiled. "With you by my side, it will be perfect." She stretched
her neck and gave Shinji a long kiss.
As they shared their love, their skin started to turn to stone. First
their legs, then their torsos. They didn't feel any pain or even react to
the change, not even when their heads were finally set in stone.
And so Shinji and Rei floated beside the stone storyboards, eternally
locked in their kiss.
Their kiss of eternal love.
-E- -V- -A-
They reappeared--in the flesh--in world six-six-six where they had left
it.
Rei pulled her lips away from Shinji's and screamed as they plunged
towards the pavement below the Tokyo-3 Mega Tower. "Shinji!! We're going to
die!!"
Shinji just smiled, knowing his will wouldn't allow that to happen.
He hopped.
Just has he had willed it, the mattress truck blew a tire just as it
was preparing to pull away. The driver swore as he climbed out and kicked
the flat tire. He swore louder when two kids fell into the open back and
bounced up and down on the mattresses. "What the fuck?"
"We're alive!!" Rei exclaimed as her breasts bounced and jiggled under
her blouse.
Shinji smiled and wrapped his arms around Rei. "Welcome to the rest of
our lives."
Suddenly, Rei felt a draft.
"Oh.... pretty pink panties!!"
Shinji and Rei turned their heads to follow a perverted little dwarf
bounce away with a pair of pink panties in his grubby little hands.
"Shit!!" Shinji started to go after the panty thief, but Rei held him
back.
"I don't need them," She said seductively, raising the hem of her dress
and giving Shinji a peek of heaven.
Shinji gulped loudly and leaned towards the forbidden fruit; a cherry
in this case.
"Hey! Will you two kids get off my truck!"
Before he tasted Rei, Shinji looked at the truck driver. "Oops..."
"I'll oops you..." The truck drive rolled up his sleeves. "You caused
me to blow a tire!"
Shinji and Rei exchanged a nervous glance, but burst out laughing.
Taking Rei's hand in his, Shinji jumped off the truck and fled with the girl
he loved in tow.
-E- -V- -A-
"How did you get that truck to be there? Last time it drove off before
we hit the ground," Rei asked after they had lost the trucker in the streets
of Tokyo-3, streets that they had become very familiar with while running
away from their troubles in the past.
Shinji tapped his head. "I willed it."
"Wow!! So you can will anything you want?"
Shinji shook his head. "I don't think so. Only what I willed as we
returned to this world." He looked back the way the had come from. "Like
that mattress truck not driving away just before we hit the pavement."
"You could try..."
Shinji shook his head. "I did... to get your panties back."
Rei sighed. "Oh well..." She raised her skirt, revealing her blue bush.
"Where were we?"
Shinji laughed and reached towards the offered slice of heaven.
"Sir, pull your hand away from the pussy and keep your skirt up, miss."
Rei looked at the source of the order and swore. "Shit, the cops are
still after us!!" She started to run--dropping her skit and disappointing
the cop in the process--but Shinji grabbed her hand and stopped her. "We're
fugitives from the law, remember?!" she asked, astonished that he had
stopped her.
Shinji smiled and tapped his head.
-E- -V- -A-
"You kids shouldn't have run away from home like that. Your mother...
mothers had us search everywhere for you after we came over to tell you that
the DA dropped the murder charges since the witnesses we interviewed
indicated it was self-defense."
Rei looked away from the police office driving the squad car she and
Shinji were riding in. "Willpower?"
Shinji nodded. "Can't have us running from the law for the rest of our
lives, can I?"
Rei smiled and leaned towards Shinji. "No, but you could have done
something about this other problem we have."
Shinji tried to think of what problem she meant, but gave up after the
list went into triple digits. "What problem?"
Rei pressed her body against Shinji's. "This problem."
Shinji didn't see what the problem was. From where he sat, the
sensation of Rei's perky breasts pressed against him was a problem he wished
he had more often.
Then the problem became obvious. "Don't make me use my pepper spray on
you."
Shinji gulped as realization dawned on him. "Ah... the little problem
we had with getting interrupted all the time."
Rei nodded.
Shinji smiled. "I didn't directly deal with that, but I believe another
problem that I did deal with will help negate it."
-E- -V- -A-
In the Ikari living room, Shinji and Rei sat together, hand in hand.
Across from them, sat an angry redhead. Beside Asuka, Hikari and Kensuke
tried to keep far enough apart that their animal attraction wasn't obvious.
Regardless, Touji did his best not to jump over and pummel Kensuke to death.
The fact that he was handcuffed to his heavy chair helped matters immensely.
"So, that's the whole story. We hope we can all be friends once the
shock of all this dies down and our other personal..." Shinji searched for
the right word as he scanned his dearest friends in front of him. One of
which still looked like she'd rather castrate him than be friends. It's a
good thing Asuka was tied up like Hannibal Lechter at that moment.
Apparently, both Asuka and Touji were still a bit miffed at Shinji and
Kensuke, respectively.
The other three in the room didn't really have a problem with Shinji,
save Hikari who still felt bad that he had hurt Asuka so badly. Of course,
she had dumped Touji to be with Kensuke, so she wasn't in a position to be
mad at Shinji for doing the same thing.
"...problems get worked out," Shinji finished.
"You sick bastard!! Asuka mumbled through her facemask. "Dumping me for
your own twin sister!"
Touji nodded. "I have to agree with Big Red, that's really sick,
Shinji."
Shinji sighed. "Yeah... but we can't live apart." He looked lovingly at
Rei.
"Well, I think you two look cute together," Hikari said, sliding a
little bit away from the bound Asuka instinctively.
Kensuke laughed a bit. "I think it's funny you two were found in
baskets on the river too."
Rei blinked loudly, twice. "Too?"
"Yeah, my mom used to joke that she found me floating down the river in
a basket." Kensuke chuckled. "She was just joking, of course."
Rei looked at Shinji, who tapped his head. A broad smile formed on her
face. "What date?"
"March 8th."
"That's when me and Shinji were found..." Rei raised an eyebrow. "In
Hokkaido?" Kensuke nodded. Rei tried not to burst out laughing, but she lost
that battle.
"What's so funny?"
Shinji answered for Rei. "There's a chance that you're her twin brother
instead of me."
Kensuke's eyes widened. "But my mom was kidding... I'm sure of it."
One phone call later...
"Damn, what a way to find out you were adopted after being found
floating down a sewage filled river," Kensuke muttered with his head buried
in his hands.
Shinji laughed. "There are worse ways, trust me." He winked at Rei.
Hikari snuggled up to Kensuke's side and comforted him. "It'll be
okay."
Touji strained to pull the handcuff free.
"But how can we be sure which one of you is Rei's brother?" Hikari
asked.
One home paternity test later...
Rei jumped onto Shinji and covered him with kisses. "You non-brother
stud, take me now!!"
Four throats cleared themselves.
Rei and Shinji stopped pulling off each other's clothing. They looked
at the others and smiled apologetically. "Sorry."
Hikari looked at the discarded test sticks. "Why didn't you just get
tested before to make sure?"
Shinji and Rei looked at each other and slapped the others' head.
"Doh!!"
-E- -V- -A-
One explanation to their odd assortment of parents later...
Ritsuko laughed and gave Kensuke a big hug. "I always knew my son
couldn't be a spineless, bedwetting, sex crazed monster like Shinji!!"
"Hey!!" Shinji complained.
Ritsuko hugged Kensuke even tighter. "I'm so glad to finally find my
long lost son after all these years of searching."
Kensuke looked a bit stunned and teary eyed as he was embraced by his
real mother for the first time in his life. "Mom..."
"Call me 'mommy'," Ritsuko asked, squeezing tighter.
Kensuke started to turn blue. "Mommy, can you... urk... let me...
urk... breathe?"
"Sorry, baby." Ritsuko relaxed her scissor-hold on Kensuke's neck and
smiled lovingly at her child.
Shinji sighed. "Sure, he gets pampered and I get yelled at and
tormented by the old hag," he muttered softly.
Hearing this, Rei laughed and snuggled against Shinji. "Now we can get
married for real."
"Oh no you can't!"
Rei glared at her mother. "Can too!!"
"I don't care if he isn't your bother, he's still a jerk and he's not
good enough for my baby girl."
Rei glared at her mother. "But he's the father of my baby!!" She put
her hand on her stomach.
Ritsuko laughed. "We found out you were faking that, remember?"
Rei gasped. "Oh yeah..." She looked at Shinji and tapped her head.
Shinji shook his head. "Some problems we'll have to work out for
ourselves."
-E- -V- -A-
God's in his heaven, all's right with the new world and world
six-six-six might not suck after all...
Might.
"I really wish it wasn't number six-six-six," God said, his radiance
blinding the reader enough that the author doesn't have to describe him.
"Why?"
"That bastard Lucifer picked that number in the pool."
"I see... I hope both those worlds turn out well for Shinji."
"He seems to have chosen well."
"So why am I here in heaven, sitting at your side?"
God laughed. "Where else should my daughter be?"
Yui's eyes bugged out and she toppled off the beams off light that made
up God's throne. "Daa... daughter?" she gasped, shaking.
God nodded. "I sent you to Earth to oversee Third Impact."
"But... but I don't recall any of this."
"Well... the last time I sent one of my children down with the
knowledge of who he was and what I wanted him to do, things didn't work out
that well." God smiled lovingly at Yui. "You'd look horrible on a cross."
Yui just stared at God in amazement. "But I don't look anything like
you."
God chuckled, causing his round belly to jiggle. "All that crap about
man being made in my image is the fault of that author I hired to write my
biography. What a hack! I never once said anything about not coveting your
neighbor's wife. And I NEVER let Adam or Eve--especially not Eve--wear fig
leaves in MY garden." God looked askew at Yui.
Yui gulped. "Sorry, I never knew."
"That's okay... you did great. I made you in Man's image so you could
guide them through Third Impact."
"I see..."
"Although, I can't see what you saw in that husband of yours."
Yui nodded. "Yes, he did have some faults... some major faults, but if
I had know who I was..."
God interrupted. "That's why I sent you Earth without the knowledge of
who you were. You weren't shaping a world for me, you were shaping it for
the next inhabitants of the Earth."
"Humans..."
"Or one of the other angels... I can't play favorites in these things.
Although..."
Yui looked at God. "Although?"
"I have to admit, I was cheering for that son of yours."
"Your grandson, you mean."
"Yes.. yes. He just reminds me of myself when I was that young. The
first world I made had nothing but naked female penguins running around in
it. No matter what species, there's nothing like a naked woman to get your
blood boiling."
Yui giggled. "So is that why you moved in with Misato, 'Penpen'?"
God laughed, holding his big stomach with his flippers. "I just wanted
to keep an eye on things firsthand, that's all."
"Huh uh..."
God's yellow beak turned bright red as he became embarrassed. "Really. I
mean... I did see Misato and Asuka naked a few times, but it was an
accident... really. And well... when Rei and Hikari came over for that
sleepover, I sort of... and..."
Yui half sighed and half giggled. "And I thought being absorbed into
Unit One was the strangest thing that could happen to me."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, finding out that my dad's a penguin who used to be someone's pet
would be bad enough, but to find out he's also a pervert on top of that is
just beyond absurd."
"I'd have thought that my being God would be the most shocking."
Yui shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, that's not that big of a deal."
God sighed. "That's what your mother said when I impregnated her."
"I wasn't immaculately conceived?"
God laughed. "Where's the fun in that?"
Yui rolled her eyes. "Pervert."
"That's what Mary said too."
-E- -V- -A-
Once Shinji and Rei reached the age of sixteen, a wedding was taking
place at the biggest chapel in Tokyo-3. The bride wore a white dress and the
groom a white tuxedo. As they kissed and sealed their vows, the roof caved
in a killed them both.
At another church across town that wasn't quite as big and had a
stronger roof, Rei walked down the aisle in a white dress, smiling from ear
to ear. The dress was patterned with lace flowers throughout, revealing just
a hint of the slim figure underneath.
Her long train was splayed out behind her and glittered like the sun,
making her look like an angel to the young man in a black tuxedo that looked
nervously at his future bride form the front of the chapel. At one time, we
would have had to crush such an angel with his Evangelion, but those days
were far behind him. Now he had the joy of his life with the woman he loved
to look forward to. Not to mention the honeymoon since two of the conditions
of this marriage that Ritsuko had insisted upon was that they'd wait until
they were sixteen and wouldn't have sex until they were married.
Which is why the story has skipped ahead all those months. What's
Garden of Eva without some totally inappropriate sex?
Part 2:11 - Nothing Blows or Sucks Anybody's Naughty Bits - The Lost
Chapter.
Behind Rei, the bridesmaids walked wearing their matching green
dresses. Well, except for the bridesmaid of honor, whose dress had quite a
bit more cleavage showing than the other two girls. Asuka was still single
and unattached, after all. Hikari and that nameless girl from the back of
the classroom looked radiant--just not as slutty as Asuka--as they walked
down the aisle.
As she passed an usher, Hikari blew a kiss at Kensuke and winked.
Kensuke blushed, but not from the kiss or the wink; it was in reaction
to how beautiful his fiancee looked in the green dress.
In the audience, the groom's adoptive mother and father--the later of
which was also the bride's father--were seated on the groom's side. On the
bride's side, the bride and usher's mother and grandmother sat with Maya in
between them to prevent a cat fight.
What a spoilsport.
Sprinkled in the rest of the pews were friends, family, and classmates;
all there to wish Shinji and Rei happiness in their life together.
Well, there was at least one person there who would like nothing better
to break up the wedding and make Rei and Shinji's lives a living hell.
Fortunately for the future couple, he was present only in the form of his
ashes.
Despite the differences between the 'Hasamoto' of this world and the
real Kawrou, Shinji and Rei wanted him to be there, if only in ash form.
So they dug up his body and cremated him in their fireplace the night
before the wedding.
Well, not really, but it might have happened that way.
As the bride stepped onto the altar next to Shinji, she smiled.
Shinji's knees suddenly gave way and he crashed to the floor, drooling
over Rei's polished shoes.
"Shinji!" Rei gasped.
Soon, the best man rushed to their aid. "Come on, Shinji, don't wuss
out now when you're so close to having sex again."
Shinji looked up at Touji with weary eyes. "That's why I'm so weak...
lack of sex."
Touji laughed and helped Shinji to his feet. "Don't give me that bull,
you just were stunned by your foxy bride's beauty."
Shinji looked at Rei and smiled. "Well, that too."
Rei blushed and smiled. "I love you."
"Me too." Shinji leaned in to kiss her, but the minister cleared his
throat. Looking at the minister and then at the assembled guests, Shinji and
Rei blushed. "Sorry." Taking Rei's hand, Shinji stood up straight and faced
the minister.
"Kids today just can't wait."
After hearing that, it started as a twitch.
During the minister's opening words, it grew to a tremble.
Just before the vows, it erupted into a full out laugh.
The minister looked on horrified as first the bride and then the groom
broke out laughing. Mostly because of the long months they had waited for
the wedding, plus the long millennia they had spent in the theater just
'waiting'.
The wait was over.
"Sorry," Shinji and Rei said together after their laughs petered out.
The old minister glared at the two in front of him and then continued
the ceremony. "We are here to join this man and this woman in holy
matrimony." He looked at Shinji. "Please recite your vows."
Shinji gulped loudly and took his soon-to-be bride's hand. "Rei, when
we first met, we were different people." He smiled knowingly. "At least four
different people, but I might have lost count somewhere along the way."
Rei chuckled softly, but the joke was totally lost on the others in the
chapel.
And some of the readers who haven't been paying attention were quite
bemused, as well.
"We've been to hell, a run down theater, paradise, and back again to
arrive at this point and I wouldn't change anything for fear of not ending
up on this altar with you. The battles with the Angels..."
Hikari rolled her eyes and whispered to Asuka. "He's really into the
Eva game, isn't he?"
Asuka chuckled.
Shinji continued. "Our time in the theater..."
"Did they ever appear in school plays?" Yui whispered to her husband.
Gendou shrugged.
"Our time on the run for various nutcases, psychopaths, and law
enforcement officers... not necessarily in that order or mutually
exclusive."
Everyone in the chapel understood that reference. Or thought they did.
"We've seen the end of one world, the endless possibilities of others,
and the birth of a new world..."
There was a general outburst of confused chattering from the people in
the chapel as no one could figure that one out.
"And now we find ourselves in a not so perfect world about to embark on
our lives together." Shinji squeezed her hands tighter. "Whatever the future
holds for us, remember that I love you... now and forever, in this world and
others, through Fourth Impact and beyond, to the end of time immemorial..."
Gendou leaned over and whispered to his wife. "He's getting a little
melodramatic, isn't he?"
Yui shushed him. "Look who's talking, Mr. 'get it over with so we can
get naked already'."
Gendou gulped. "Sorry about that."
"...nothing will ever part us. I love you."
Rei smiled. "I love you too."
The minister looked at Rei.
Rei smiled devilishly. "Ditto."
Shinji fell down in shock.
After helping him back up, Rei started her real vows. "Shinji, when we
met I was but an empty shell. Just a tool for a madman's schemes."
Both Rei and Shinji subconsciously glanced at Gendou.
"But without that scheming, we would not have ended up here." Rei took
a deep breath. "You are my friend, my creator, my lover. You completed me
like no one else could have. Half of me will forever be a figment of your
imagination. The other half will forever be a part of your soul." She smiled
broadly. "Together, *WE* will belong to your heart; now and forever, in this
world and the next, till the end of eternity. I love you."
The minister wiped a tear out of his eye. "That was so beautiful... the
parts I understood, at least."
Shinji and Rei chuckled.
Sniffling, the minister continued the ceremony. "Is there anyone
present who knows of any reason why these two people should not be wed? If
so, speak now or forever hold your doubts."
Everyone in the chapel looked at Asuka.
"What?!" Asuka growled, looking like a cornered cat about to rip
everyone's faces off. "I'm happy for Rei and can't stand the little wuss
anymore."
Rei and Shinji both silently mouthed 'thank you' and turned back
towards the minister.
"Then, since there are no objections, I now..." the minister said
before being interrupted.
"Sorry, we're late!"
Everyone looked towards the back of the church to see Misato and Kaji
walk in, looking like they just drove through a car wash in a convertible
with the top down. Since it wasn't raining outside that was exactly what
happened.
"I told you to turn RIGHT in front of the car wash, stupid!" Misato
snapped.
Shinji laughed until he noticed Misato's huge stomach. "Oh, crap!! I
forgot to will away the possibility that I was the father of Misato's
child!"
There are worse things to shout out on the alter just before you were
about to be pronounced man and wife, but not many.
"You forgot to make sure that you weren't the father? You fucking
idiot!!" Rei snapped, losing her chance at the world's most eloquent bride
award.
Kensuke's eyes were wide open. "Oh, crap!! It could be mine too!"
Hikari's eyes narrowed. "What?!"
Kensuke gulped. "Well... it was... kind of...um... she was drunk!"
"And what's your excuse?" Hikari asked, sharpening the ACME castration
kit that someone had given Rei as a joke--probably--present at her bridal
shower.
That someone was Rei's mother, of course. When Asuka had
volunteered--more like begged--to use it on the groom, Hikari had decided to
hang onto it for safekeeping.
"Um... I'm a teenager with rampaging hormones?"
Hikari suddenly smiled. "Oh, yeah... okay, I forgive you."
"Crap... I can't believe both of you bagged Misato and I didn't!!"
Touji was suddenly in intense pain as all the women in the chapel
kicked him repeatedly, including the bride and the future mother of a child
with a still undetermined father.
-E- -V- -A-
"God damn!!"
God looked at Yui. "Don't take my name in vain, daughter."
Yui bowed her head. "Sorry, Father, but I was just distressed at this
turn of events. They don't deserve this after all they've been through." She
looked at the viewpoint they had opened so that she could see her son get
married.
God shook his beak. "I'm sorry, but that is a world of his own making.
I cannot alter it. His will, and his will alone was responsible for the
structure of that world."
"But you must be able to do something."
God shook his beak.
"But..."
"I'm sorry, but he must live with the past actions of both Shinji's
that currently make up his mind."
Yui looked back at the viewpoint, sadness filling her eyes. "Shinji..."
"He is wi...' God suddenly sniffled and then sneezed, covering Yui's
face with snot. "Sorry." Pulling out a handkerchief from one of the pockets
of the tuxedo he was wearing, he blew his nose and finally made the
connection to this part's title.
"That's okay."
"It's that darn Lucifer again... intentionally turning the heat down in
hell to make Heaven colder than it should be." God sighed. "I shouldn't have
cut corners when I built Heaven and put in a separate heating system instead
of sharing it with Hell."
Yui didn't know what to say.
God was about to put the handkerchief into the pocket of the tuxedo he
was wearing when he noticed something glowing in the snot. "Oops..."
"What's wrong?"
God poked the end of his flipper into the snot and extracted a small
glowing piece of dust, no bigger than the head of a pin. "I accidentally
blew out Shinji's world six-six-six," he explained as he shoved his
flipper--that had world six-six-six perched precariously on the end--up his
right nostril.
Yui's mouth gaped open. "You keep it up your nose?"
God looked oddly at Yui. "Where else should I keep it?"
Yui was at a loss to think up an answer to that. "Well... I guess
since it's not a real world, it's okay."
God laughed and dug into his left nostril. Pulling out the flipper, a
yellow speck was on the end. "I keep the real universes in my left nostril."
Yui fell backwards and off the throne in shock.
God pointed at the glowing speck. "That's the universe with the real
Earth in it."
"I can't believe the universe lives inside God's nose." Yui stretched
her neck and looked up God's huge honker.
God laughed. "No more up there now. Although, I do keep a couple other
universes in the pockets of my tuxedo for safe keeping.
Yui laughed. "Pocket universes, huh?"
God nodded. "Of course."
[End - Garden of EVA 2:666 - God Blows His Nose!]
=======================================================================
Author's notes/ramblings:
I *SWEAR* to Penpen that the next part--"End of the Garden of EVA
(really)"--will be the real and completely final ending to this series.
Honest.
With a name like that, it has to be the real ending, right?
Probably.
I had really intended to finish up in this part, but it ran a bit longer
than I thought it would and couldn't resist one last cliffhanger like that.
Sorry.
Portions of this part were written while waiting on the tarmac in Boston
during a Penpen-dammed United flight (flying the friendly skies is great...
if they can actually get you INTO the skies), flying over the Atlantic, in
the United Kingdom, and flying over Belgium.
I'd like to thank my pre-readers Michael A. Chase, Olesh Hotra, and David
Johnston for helping me find and fix problems with this story. Thank you
all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault.
Revision 0.0 - Initial draft began (April 11th, 2001)
Revision 0.1 - Partial draft to prereaders (May 23, 2001)
Revision 0.2 - Initial draft completed (June 20, 2001 while flying over
Belgium)
Revision 0.3 - Pre-reader draft (July 1, 2001)
Revision 0.4 - FFML draft (July 13, 2001)