Now getting on with come C+C:

Sketches of Tenchi 10:  Survivor! Jurai Party Politics

Ah. Nice to see this one again.

    A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE fanfic
        by HKMiller
            9 August 2001

- - - - - - - - - -
"Tenchi!"  Youshou, in his 'old' guise, walked into the house,
trying to ignore the young ladies following him wistfully.  "I
have an important mission for you!  You and your fiancees must
represent the Royal Family at the Star-Crossed Ball on Jurai next
week."

"What?  Why do I have to go?" Tenchi replied in sudden panic.

Youshou: I'm ducking my responsibilities again, as usual.

"Attending such functions is a part of your education!  This will
be good for you!"

"And are you and your fiancees going to this too?" Tenchi asked
drily.

Youshou coughed briefly.  "No, my shrine duties prohibit leaving
Earth at this time.  The young ladies are, of course, free to come
or go as they please."

Ah. So I was right. :)

"The Star-Crossed Ball?  I haven't been for

'been to one for' (I assumed you meant)

"It's all those Juraian snobs, Tenchi.  Most of them don't know
how to party; they're too busy looking for people they can snub!"
commented Ryouko, hugging Tenchi from behind.

Better than hugging his behind, I suppose. :)

"There'll be lots of Galaxy Policemen there, I just know it.
Maybe we'll see some people we know, Kiyone!" exclaimed Mihoshi,
jumping up and down in excitement.

"Mihoshi, calm down!  I agree with Princess Aeka; Tenchi won't
like it."

Heh. And now I can practically guarentee it. :)

Aeka wrung her hands some more.  "Well, you see, Tenchi, I am
terribly afraid for you.  This ball is one of the social and
diplomatic highlights of the year on Jurai.  And, you see, on
Jurai, most lobbying and intrigue are conducted at social
occasions such as this.

Aeka: It'll be nothing but bribes, sex, and assassinations happening. Really
quite boring compared to what you usually go through.

 This affair will mark the height of the

politicking for the most prestigious appointed post on Jurai:  the
Chair of the Royal Deportment Department."

Deportment Department? Heh.

Tenchi wrinkled his brow.  For some reason, the relevance of
this escaped him.  "Um... so what?  That doesn't sound so bad."

"Such positions are fiercely contested, Tenchi-sama, by the
various factions, clans, alliances, and partys

parties

 in Juraian

public life.  So you see, this particular affair will be
unusually fraught with intrigue, lobbying, innuendo, gossip,
and downright skullduggery.  And then there are all the aliens."

Aeka: Damn humans. Always mucking things up.

"Ah...." Tenchi pondered.  It still made no sense to him.
"Could I have that again, please?"

"Could you explain that, please?" (Might work better a lead in for Washuu's
'Professor' intro)

"Certainly, Tenchi-dono!" Washuu, now clad in her professor's
gown and hat, gestured grandly.  Schooldesks appeared under
everyone; holographic charts and graphs appeared behind her.
"Most of the spacefaring cultures in this galaxy, Tenchi-dono,
provide enormous amounts of idle time to the bulk of their
citizens, due to advanced industrial automation.  The main
differentiator between cultures is the purpose to which this
idle time is put.  On Kiyone's home planet, as you know, most
people are into their careers, often pursuing advancement in
one or another of the galaxy-wide bureaucracies.  On Mihoshi's
home planet, most people go to the beach."

Heh. That would explain her perpetual tan.

Tenchi nodded.  "I understand that part well enough."

"But on Jurai, the major occupation of the hundred million nobles
is to compete socially, seeking advancement in ranking, or simple
momentary advantage in contests over status and prestige.  The
major occupation of the hundred billion non-nobles in the Empire
is to spy upon, follow the doings of, and vote for favorites
among, the nobles."

A race of snobby politicians and their sychophants. Death to them all!

Tenchi momentarily was at a loss.  This didn't seem anything like
the way the Japanese royal family was treated.  Then he remembered
some things he'd read about the British.

You know, there are so many things I could say there that I'm not going to.
:)

"Now about the aliens.  The territory of Jurai is concentrated at
the outer edge of this arm of the galaxy; it borders very few
other galactic states.

Washuu: Except the Oni, who could destroy just about anyone with their vast
military and technological might. However, the Oni are particularly stupid,
and prefer conquoring worlds by challenging them to childish games for the
fate of their planet. Lucky for Jurai, they won that game of Hide and Go
Seek.

Kiyone replied, "Princess Aeka is right, Tenchi.  You'll hate it
and

it, and

"And what happens if I embarrass myself?  Is it important?  How am
I supposed to act?"

Just go 'Hmm' to everything they say then reply "I'll get back to you on
that." When they ask your opinion.

Aeka hesitated a moment in thought.  "I would not want to see you
embarrassed, Tenchi-sama.  There are two simple rules to this:
take nothing seriously; and any misstatement on your part was a
deliberate red herring.  Keep those in mind and you should be
fine."

"Yeah!" exclaimed Sasami.  "Mommy Misaki says those over and
over!"

Heh. Although I can't see Sasami refering to her mother as Misaki. Should
probably just call her 'Mommy'. Everyone will know who she is.

- - - - - - - - - -
A week later, Tenchi and his fiancees, all clad resplendently
in matching loose white kimonos trimmed in gold, made their
entrance at the top of the main staircase of the Grand Ballstadium
of Jurai, fashionably late.

Of course, fashionably late for the Jurai meant coming after everything was
already over.

Ryouko tugged at her collar in

discomfort with her right hand as she clung to Tenchi's right
arm with her left.  Aeka was on Tenchi's left arm with
Sasami to Aeka's left.  Washuu stood to Ryouko's right
while Alielle clung alternately to Mihoshi and Kiyone in the
rear.  Edward floated along horizontally above the rest of
Tenchi's party.

Heh. Quite the sight.

Tenchi looked across the main floor fifty meters below.
Hovering at various levels above it were a number of
almost-transparent surfaces, some stationary and some moving
slowly about.  Here and there a waterfall fell from an upper
surface to a small lake surrounding a giant tree.  Humanoids and
clearly alien beings

For they had pointy ears.

"Only the highest levels of the nobility are invited, of course,"
replied Aeka.  "Usually about ten thousand of the guests are
non-Juraian citizens.  The exact guest list is a closely guarded
secret."

Edward added, "Sixty thousand were invited.  Ed has the list if
you want to see it."

Heh

"I make it sixty two thousand four hundred seven, including
us," noted Washuu as she waved a small device around in front of
her.  "Reporters, gate-crashers, and assassins make up the
difference, I suppose."

Aeka: No, someone invited Lord Jamie Madrox, who can duplicate himself by
absorbing kenetic energy. You should see the one man conga lines he forms.

A polite applause drifted up from the main party floor and down
from the closest minor floors.

"Oh yes, and the demon Ryouko."

Half of the applause abruptly stopped.

And the other half, who hated the Jurai, applauded enthuseastically.

"You can never tell about Tokimi, though," added Washuu, with a
twinkle in her eye.

The ballstadium's clear night sky seemed to dim momentarily.
Quite a few people had the momentary impression of an immensely
tall woman glaring down at Washuu before normal solidity returned.

Heh

Tenchi felt a bit hungry.  He headed over towards a large buffet
table, laden with... food, he supposed, trying to find something
appetizing to try.

The Cthuhlu Calamari looked particularly appetizing.

"Ah, Tenchi," came Washuu's voice from behind him.  "Grabbing some
munchies?"  Washuu came up beside him.  She reached out to grasp
some slimy, gray, wriggling worms, which she tossed into her
mouth.  She belched appreciatively.  "Glorms.  Gotta love 'em."

Can't eat just one.

Tenchi blinked. "Err... sure; I'll be happy to have company,
Alielle.  If you're sure you wouldn't prefer other companionship?"

Alielle snickered and gestured at a nearby cluster of hovering
beauties.  "No problem; you can introduce me when they get up
the nerve to approach you."

Hoo boy.

- - - - - - - - - -
"Ssssir, could you pleassse mediate our disssspute?"  Tenchi
looked up.  The speaker was a purple-skinned snake-man wearing
an elegant white robe.  He was accompanied by a large walking
pine tree.  "I am quite ssssure that the young Poodal over
there is really an Ambigonian spy; my colleague thinks she is
from the Phryllococan Alliance.  Can you decide which of us
is correct?  We have a small wager on the matter."  The speaker
gestured towards a small furry creature of some sort, draped
over a woman's shoulders.

A slight sheen appeared on Tenchi's forehead.

And then he said, "Why don't I just kill both of you with my Wings of the
Lighthawk and we won't worry about it?"

The aliens left to get a different opinion.

The snake-man raised one eyebrow.  "An alliance?  Again?  They
broke the last and went to war with each other just six months
ago."

Alielle: Obviously a slow week.

Alielle grinned.  "It's in response to the alliance the two of you
just agreed upon.  They're attacking both of your governments
next."

Alarmed, both the snake-man and the pine tree scuttled off.

Tenchi turned to Alielle curiously.  "How did you know all of
that?"

"Actually, I just made it up."  Alielle grinned mischievously.

Of course her actions resulted in the deaths of one hundred million sentient
beings before the truth was sorted out, but we won't worry about that right
now. ^_^

Tenchi started to get really nervous.

- - - - - - - - - -
"It MUST be true; one of the fiancees of Prince Tenchi himself
said so," the pine tree reported to his government.

"Is there any possibility of a mistake?"  One voice on the other
end asked.

Ooo. Looks like I might have been close to the truth after all.

- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi, with Alielle still attached, strolled towards the knot
where Aeka and Sasami were still chatting away.  Aeka looked
up.  Her brow momentarily clouded, then cleared when she
recognized exactly who was on Tenchi's arm.

"Better you than me, Tenchi-sama," Aeka whispered into Tenchi's
ear.  She squeezed his free hand and blushed.

Heh. How pragmatic of her.

"Pleased to meet you," Tenchi responded.  "Since you're busy, I'll
see you later, then, Aeka," Tenchi said, smiling.  Aeka frowned in
mock disapproval, but tilted her head up, hoping for a kiss on her
cheek.  Tenchi obliged.

He held Ailielle up and she promptly laid a big wet one in Aeka's cheek.

Sasami sashayed shyly over to Tenchi, then posed with her head
tilted up.  Tenchi obligingly bent and kissed her forehead.

Across the stadium floor, Sasami's score flickered to match
Aeka's.

The Jurai are obviously a race with too much time on their hands.

Appalled, Tenchi turned just in time to see a masked assassin
beam away.  No other party-goers within sight of Tenchi displayed
any reaction.

What, no one was betting on how long it would take for a successful
assassination attempt on the Farutzian Ambassador?
^_^

"My darling Prince, however have you been?"  The lady in question
asked insincerely.  "I've missed you _so_ much!"  She extended her
arms to enclose Tenchi in a hug, coincidentally crushing Tenchi's
face into the most cushy part of her anatomy.

Her tongue?

- - - - - - - - - -
As Kiyone and Mihoshi introduced Tenchi to their ex-colleagues
in the Galaxy Police,

Oh? Didn't remember the two of them quitting. Been a while since I've read
this.

"Oh, Tenchi, let's play Stratfoozle!" exclaimed Mihoshi, pulling
on Tenchi's arm.

"Uh, Mihoshi, Tenchi might not want..."

Actually it will probably keep him from being harrassed by all the
politicos.

- - - - - - - - - -
Alielle continued her patter to her new 'friend', Nahga, who
struggled to remove Alielle's hands from places into which they
seemed to stray.  As the two passed some grazing quadruped aliens,
Alielle smirked and interrupted herself to say, "Of course, I like
Prince Tenchi too.  He's so much smarter than he lets on.  And his
grasp of galactic intelligence and strategy is quite unparalleled,
even better than his great-grandmother's."

Bah! Everyone knows Funaho's just a figurehead and her staff are the real
brains behind her.

- - - - - - - - - -
Mihoshi happily put the pointed hat on Tenchi's head and the
indented hat on her own, then sat down to put on her slipboots.
Tenchi reluctantly followed suit.

"How does this game work again?" Tenchi asked.

"You try to insert the end of your hat into the hole in mine,"
Mihoshi giggled, then blushed.  "It's supposed to be kind of like
sex, but I'm not sure why.

Mihoshi: There's no whips or fruity toppings involved, like in the real
thing.

 >

"Oh, uh... Lord Seiryo, right?  How have you been?"

Yay! My favorite one shot walk on character.

Lord Seiryo continued his tirade.  "If the wrong person gets the
post... who knows what could happen?

Tenchi: He'd be executed for gross incompetance?

- - - - - - - - - -

A display below the two talking heads showed the odds given
by the Empire's leading odds-makers on the appointment.  As the
analysis of Tenchi's comment progressed, the odds shifted
visibly towards the conservative candidate.  Billions of credits
entered the betting.

Heh. knew this was going to happen

- - - - - - - - - -
By himself again, Tenchi wandered around the party.

Out to cause even more unintentional damage.

Tenchi stopped and gave a perfunctory bow.  This girl is about as
unattractive as any female I've seen here, he thought.

"I understand you and your fiancees are enjoying life on colonial
planet 0315, Prince Tenchi."

Tenchi scratched the back of his head.  "Well, we all seem to like
it.  Nobody's in any hurry to leave."

The girl smiled conspiratorily and drew closer.  "Tell me the
truth:  which girl do you like the best?"

Tenchi: Get real. I'm a ho.' I'm just being used for sex by all of them.
Whoever I like the most doesn't figure into the equation.

- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi caught up with Ryouko over by one of the bars.  She saw him
and launched herself through the air to give him a hug.  Tenchi
smelled sake on her breath,

As much as she drinks, one would assume he thinks that's the normal state of
her breath. :)

Torsos, it appeared, were to be arhythmically pulsed; arms were to
be dramatically upthrust at random intervals, while you slowly
lowered your upright torso by bending your bow-legged knees.  At
some unseen signal, everyone was to give a short hop in same
direction and shout "Hop like a Iighipshan!" in unison.

Ouch. Was waiting for one of those. Nice to see I wasn't disappointed.

"Well, for now she's back to nursmphmph.."

Hehehehe.

- - - - - - - - - -
Above on the dance floor, Ryouko pulled Tenchi into a hug, then
teleported both to a neighboring floor where slow-dance music was
playing.  This dance involved a simple embrace and slow, but
intricate, footwork.  Ryouko lay her head on Tenchi's shoulder as
they danced, nearby couples making way for them in alarm.

"Are you having fun, Tenchi?" Ryouko whispered into his ear.

"Well, I'm enjoying myself better than Aeka or Kiyone thought I
would."

"Good for you, Tenchi!" Ryouko paused, then whispered, "I'll be
happy to show you even more fun later tonight..."

Tenchi: You'll engage in sexual acts with Mihoshi and Kiyone at the same
time, leaving me alone to watch? That would be great.

Ryouko responded by pulling Tenchi into a full, open-mouth kiss
with one hand while the other performed a quick grope further
down.

On his big toe. Ryouko had something of a foot fetish.

- - - - - - - - - -
"It'sss your own fault, Ambigonian!" the purple-skinned snake-man
announced, pointing his tongue at the Ambigonian.  "You broke our
alliance when you treated with the Phryllococans!"

"Never did we!"

"Gentlemen, please," pleaded Tenchi, his hands out.  "I'm sure
you can all resolve your difficulties peacefully if you just
try."

Tenchi: And if you don't, I'll pull out my Lighthawk Wings and strike both
of you dead.

- - - - - - - - - -
"No, I'm quite sure:  the R'yleh are planning a sneak attack on
the Xijhistians!  But remember; you didn't hear it from me," said
Alielle to the purple-leaved shrubbery, which nodded and snuck
off.

"Alielle, I don't think this is very nice of you," said Sasami
from behind her.

Need a linr break there with the change of dialogue.

Lady Hoshukei turned purple and speechless, rigid with rage.  Sir
Jiyuutou almost guffawed aloud before his advisors pulled him
away.

- - - - - - - - - -
Elsewhere, ensconced on a comfortable sofa, Emperor Azusa, Funaho,
and Misaki were convulsed with laughter.  "Appoint... the
Ambigonian!  I love it!"

Tenchi should have just appointed himself and threatened to put the smack
down on anyone that said otherwise.

nice work. Amusing, though not with the same outright humor that was in most
of the other chapters. this was a little more subtle, it seemed. Few grammar
errors and the work flowed smoothly. My compliments.

D.B. Sommer


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