Hi all!

Since I got few comments about what to change in chapter one, I'm going to post this as my revised version of chapter one.  Two and three are finished, and as soon as I finish four and five (I'm 3/5 done with four), I'll post #2. I did get a lot of response, though, and it's very very appriciated.

Again, any sort of feedback, positive or negative, will be appreciated. ^^

Read the past two notes I sent out, if anyone starts wondering about Squall's origin in "Tyre". (How did Squall, from Winhill, wind up in Centra anyway?)

And yes, the reference in the dream sequence _is_ to "Liberi Fatali".

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Griever

A Final Fantasy VIII Fanfic

Irene Ying


******************


Prologue

"Sleeping and Dreaming" -- Josiah Holland


I softly sink into the bath of sleep;
  With eyelids shut, I see around me close
The mottled, violet vapors of the deep,
  That wraps me in repose.

I float all night in the ethereal sea
  That drowns my pain and weariness in balm,
Careless of where its currents carry me,
  Or settle into calm.

That which the ear can hear is silent all;
  But, in the lower stillness which I reach,
Soft whispers call me, like the distant fall
  Of waves upon the beach.

Now, like the mother, who, with patient care,
  Has soothed to rest her faint, o'erwearied boy,
My spirit leaves the couch, and seeks the air,
  For freedom and for joy.

Drunk up like vapors by the morning sun,
  The past and future rise and disappear,
And times and spaces gather home, and run
  Into a common sphere.

My youth is round me, and the silent tomb
  Has burst to set its fairest prisoner free,
And I await her in the dewy gloom
  Of the old trysting tree.

I mark the flutter of her snowy dress;
  I hear the tripping of her fairy feet;
And now, pressed closely in a pure caress,
  With ardent joy we meet.

I tell again the story of my love,
  I drink again her lip's delicious wine;
And, while the same old stars look down above,
  Her eyes look up to mine.

I dream that I am dreaming, and I start,
  Then dream again that naught so real comes in dreams;
Then kiss again to reassure my heart
  That she is what she seems.

Our steps tend homeward; lingering at the gate,
  I breathe, and breathe again, my fond good-night.
She shuts the cruel door, and still I wait
  To watch her window-light.

I see the shadow of her dainty head
  On curtains that I pray her hand may stir,
Till all is dark; and then I seek my bed
  To dream I dream of her.

Like the swift moon that glides from cloud to cloud,
  With only hurried space to smile between,
I pierce the phantoms that around me cloud,
  And glide from scene to scene.

I clasp warm hands that long have lain in dust,
  I hear sweet voices that have long been still;
And earth and sea give up their hallowed trust,
  In answer to my will.

And now, high-gazing toward the starry dome,
  I see three airy forms come floating down--
The long-lost angels of my early home--
  My night of joy to crown.

They pause above, beyond my eager reach,
  With arms enwreathed and forms of heavenly grace,
And smiling back the love that smiles from each,
  I see them face to face.

They breathe no language, but their holy eyes
  Beam an embodied blessing on my heart,
That warm within my trustful bosom lies,
  And never will depart.

I drink the effluence, till through all my soul
  I feel a flood of peaceful rapture flow,
That swells to joy at last, and bursts control,
  And I awake; but lo!

With eyelids shut, I hold the vision fast,
  And still detain it by my ardent prayer,
Till faint and fainter grown, it fades at last
  Into the silent air.

My God! I thank thee for the bath of sleep,
  That wraps in balm my weary heart and brain,
And drowns within its waters still and deep
  My sorrow and my pain.

I thank thee for my dreams, which loose the bond
  That binds my spirit to its daily load,
And gives it angel wings, to fly beyond
  Its slumber-bound abode.

I thank thee for these glimpses of the clime
  That lies beyond the boundaries of sense,
Where I shall wash away the stains of time
  In floods of recompense;--

Where, when this body sleeps to wake no more,
  My soul shall rise to everlasting dreams,
And find unreal all it saw before,
  And real all that seems.


***


Chapter One -- Bend in the River


Balamb Garden, back in its place, was a huge, 
multicolored jewel in the malachite setting of a tiny 
island nation called Balamb, with the peaceful port city 
of Balamb City as its capital.  The school-town place 
shimmered in the clear morning air, with salty breezes of 
the sea blowing into its friendly walls.  The Garden 
seemed to hover in the air; in reality, it had settled 
down once again into its old, familiar place.

Inside the Garden, running through the bright, clean 
hallways, came a beautiful young girl.  Her hair was 
shoulder-length and layered, with a few golden-brown 
streaks near the front part of her hair.  Her eyes were 
almond-shaped and dark, chocolate brown.  Her face was a 
pretty, classic oval, and the eyes were bright with a 
warmth and vitality that spoke of passion for life, among 
other things.  Right now, the passion was for the name 
she spoke.  "Squall. . .Squall!"

Rinoa, wearing her usual blue duster, came tearing down 
the hallway, looking for the aforementioned young man.  A 
few SeeDs and SeeDs-in-training smiled at her as she ran 
down, exasperation and annoyance in her voice.  "Squall!  
Where are you?" She turned her head this way and that, 
her fringe of dark hair flying with her.  She stomped a 
boot on the ground.  "I swear!  He's supposed to be here!  
Where is he now?" Impatience in her tone, she looked both 
ways.  "Squall!"

"Rinoa?  Are you looking for Squall?" A clear, feminine 
voice said behind her.

Rinoa turned and smiled to see another girl standing 
there.  "Yes."

"Well." The older girl smiled at Rinoa.  She was about 
Rinoa's height, and looked to be only a year or so older.  
Her glossy hair was straight and chestnut brown, and it 
fell to her shoulders, where it was cut in a straight 
line.  She had some bangs, rather like Rinoa's.  Her face 
was heart-shaped and pale.  Her eyes, when Rinoa looked, 
were dark blue, and smiling.  She wore a SeeD 
instructor's gray, blue, red-and-gold uniform.  "I 
believe he is with Zell, training or something." More 
like fighting over hot dogs, she thought with a hidden 
smile.  "Or. . .they may be in the cafeteria, just 
chatting."

"Thanks." Rinoa ran a hand through her hair.  "You 
wouldn't believe the trouble I've had finding him--" she 
broke off and extended a hand to the other girl, who 
looked vaguely familiar.  "I'm Rinoa Heartilly.  You are. 
. ."

"Xu Lanhua." The woman smiled and turned in another 
direction, going down the hallway.

Rinoa nodded after her and started walking towards the 
training center, thoughtfully going over the name.  Xu.  
That's right, I remember her.  She was with us on the 
Ragnarok. . .isn't she pretty high up in the Garden 
hierarchy?  Hey, if she can give orders to Seifer, then 
she's definitely got something going for her.  She seemed 
to be in charge. . .she knows me.  Silly me, why don't I 
remember her?  Shame on me.

Hurrying down the hallway, Rinoa ran.  Xu was forgotten.  
She wanted to find Squall, and fast.

***

Xu went back to her apartment and threw herself on the 
twin-sized bed.  She was exhausted, although it wouldn't 
do to slouch and yawn in front of other soldiers and 
cadets at the Garden.  Besides being the Card Queen of 
the CC Group at Balamb Garden, she was a high-level 
instructor and was just one level below Squall, who was 
right below Headmaster Cid and Matron Edea.  As Quistis 
used to remind her, she had a reputation to uphold as a 
SeeD instructor.  She was supposed to show herself off at 
the dance.

Right now, the reputation didn't need much upholding.  Xu 
didn't exactly have those groupies that Quistis had and 
was gathering more of every day.  She wasn't carefree and 
spunky like Selphie--whom she always admired.  Nor was 
she the beautiful, radiant woman that Rinoa was.

All in all, what did she have going for her? Xu tried to 
count her attributes and what she added to Garden as an 
instructor.  Marked intelligence.  Superior fighting 
skills, although she was always better at the 
administering level.  Confidence in herself.  
Reliability.  Hmm, hmm, that was it.  Her reputation was 
of a dependable, intelligent, and businesslike 
instructor.  Though she passed the SeeD test easily, she 
was better as a leader than a soldier, and had been 
recognized as such.  That was her. . .this was her 
future.  Much as she hated to admit it, she was jealous 
of those two girls.  She was Xu the instructor, Xu the 
Heart of the CC Group.  Well, if nothing else, that was 
an easy enough reputation to maintain.  Xu locked her 
door--as an instructor, she had a bigger bedroom than 
Squall had seen in years.  Then she took off the uniform 
and went into the bathroom for a shower.

Tonight was the big party, celebrating Ultimecia's defeat 
and Squall's victory.  She and Nida had piloted the 
Garden back to Balamb, and they had temporarily settled 
down.  Construction began, lead by the engineering-minded 
cadets and SeeDs.  The construction was finished very 
quickly. . .the announcements made. . .and tonight, just 
three months afterwards, was the party.  Reporters from 
Timber and Esthar, the two biggest places on the globe, 
were going to be there, taping for future television 
broadcasts.  Wasn't this the biggest event of the 
millennium?

And everyone was going to be there, from the most junior 
students to the oldest instructors!  What was she 
supposed to wear, she wondered as she stepped into the 
fine, hot spray.  She wasn't a student anymore, so she 
could wear a formal to the dance.

Except, oh horror of horrors, she didn't own anything 
fancy.  She owned three uniforms, a special uniform for 
very special ceremonies, one nightgown, one pair of 
pajamas, and a few sweaters and skirts for civilian wear.  
The list didn't include a formal.  Nor has she ever 
desired one.  There was no reason for her to own a fancy 
gown.  Maybe it was tiem to invest in one.  Had she had 
time, Xu might have wandered into Balamb and picked up a 
semi-formal dress, something pretty but inexpensive, and 
worn it.  But, there was no time.  So she had to settle 
for the uniforms.  At least she could look official, 
professional.

With these thoughts, Xu shampooed her hair with some 
fancy new shampoo that Quistis had given her for a gift.  
It was a new sort of herbal shampoo, smelling like 
violets.  The conditioner was much the same.  After that, 
she soaped and rinsed her body.  She turned off the 
water, wrapped a thick white towel around herself, and 
proceeded to stare at her closet.  After a while, Xu 
pulled out a uniform.  She looked young enough to pass 
for a student, despite being twenty.  It would be all 
right.

She dried her hair and slowly dressed, dreading going to 
the party.  Xu was not looking forward to the night, not 
at all.  What better way to be bored?  She wasn't social 
at all.  Squall and his team should have a lot of fun, 
although Quistis and Squall generally disliked crowds and 
too many people at one time.  Selphie, Rinoa, and Irvine 
would have fun all night.  Squall and Rinoa would 
probably ditch the party to have their own fun as soon as 
the formalities were over.  Xu smiled at the thought.

"Ahh, better get there on time," she muttered to herself.  
She had on her nicest uniform.  No one could complain.  
The skirt was an inch shorter than her usual knee-length 
skirt.  The outfit was navy blue velvet, and the trim was 
still gold velvet, but there was much elaborate silver 
embroidery on the wide collar.  Since the uniform was not 
meant for fighting, she put on some ankle-high black 
boots, and not the taller combat sort.  She laced them 
up, and looked at herself in the mirror.

Good enough.  She wasn't supposed to miss the party.

***

"Selphie, since when are you so. . .taken with Irvine?" 
Quistis, dressed in her usual pink shirt and skirt 
outfit, looked at her younger friend.  Selphie seemed 
fixated on watching Irvine's various antics--all 
involving women, naturally.  She frowned a little, and 
Quistis easily picked up the jealousy.

"Huh?  Dunno." Carefree as always, the perky girl jumped 
in front of the camera and started waving.  Her yellow 
jumper stood out, so the camera operator waved to her and 
focused on her dancing figure.  She brushed back her 
brown hair and started doing a little jig for his 
benefit.  Then she took the camera, focused it on her 
face, and claimed it for her own to use.

"Such a ham, isn't she?"

Irvine's voice came over Quistis's shoulder, and she 
rolled her eyes.  Count on Irvine to come in at this kind 
of moment!  "So what?  At least she can dance.  Can you 
do that, Irvine?"

The best shooter in Garden leaned back.  "But of course, 
Quistis!" He started an attempt at a cowboy sort of 
country-dance.  The only thing Quistis found impressive 
about it was that somehow, he didn't trip himself and 
fall down while he pranced around madly.

"Enough," she said, just as Selphie's camera turned 
towards them.  They talked and argued for a few seconds 
on the subject of dancing, before they noticed the camera 
and started waving.  Irvine, true to form, went up to the 
lens and started peering into it.  Quistis groaned, 
turned, and walked away to find some punch.  The hot 
atmosphere was getting to her.  She found Cid, talked to 
him, and Irvine came along just as Edea made her 
appearance as well.

SeeDs and SeeD cadets roamed around the hallway.  Those 
having a part in the proceedings were dressed in 
uniforms; those who did not wore formal clothes.  Quistis 
waved to a pretty girl wearing in a lavender moir� gown, 
past two nervous men in tuxedos, and another girl in a 
knee-length wine velvet dress.  She suddenly felt out of 
place, but ignored it.  This night was supposed to honor 
her, Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine.  Who cared 
how she looked?  She had showered anyway.  Nothing to 
complain about.

Quistis walked past Zell, who was stuffing his face, 
quite literally, on all the hot dogs he had wanted.  The 
"pigtailed girl", as the group knew her, from the library 
was sitting next to him, trying very hard not to laugh.  
Selphie and Irvine walked past just as Zell started 
choking, and they managed to save him before realizing 
that the camera had followed them.  Everyone but Zell 
fled, and when he got up and realized that he was alone, 
he aimed a nice thrust at the camera.

Squall and Rinoa had long tired of the crowded 
atmosphere.  They were on the stone balcony, trying to 
steal a few private moments before the real festivities 
began.

It was a gorgeous night outside.  The sky was clear, and 
stars were beginning to show in the evening sky.  A cool, 
refreshing breeze blue past, sweeping back Squall's hair 
as he looked at Rinoa.  His face was lit up in the silver 
luminescence of the night, making him look all the more 
handsome to Rinoa.

"Look, a shooting star." Rinoa pointed to a white glowing 
streak above her, smiling as she turned to face Squall.  
Squall looked.  Indeed.  When he looked down, Rinoa's 
arms were around him.  He broke a rare smile and put his 
arms on hers.

"Rinoa." They pulled closer.

"What?" Rinoa murmured from the depth of Squall's shirt.  
"Hmm?"

"Rinoa. . .I hear them inside, and the formalities are 
about to begin.  I, um, wouldn't mind staying here, but. 
. .ahh, I don't wanna get in trouble."

"Silly." Rinoa kissed him, then grabbed his arm.  "Let's 
go in together, then."

***

Xu walked into the ballroom, feeling awed.  She had 
forgotten how splendid the place looked when properly 
decorated and filled with people in finery.  The domed 
ceiling worked in gold swirls, the huge crystal-paned 
skylight, the smooth-as-water, checkered marble floor, 
the delicately fine decorations on the walls and ceiling, 
the lush green plants on the walls.  There were huge 
banquet tables displaying every kind of food, with fresh 
flowers in crystal vases adorning the pristine linen 
tablecloths.  She glanced around and watched people 
dancing and chatting around her.  Lights shone on 
everything, throwing a golden radiance into the vast 
chamber.

She was slightly late.  People were already enjoying the 
food, and some amorous couples were dancing.  An 
orchestra was playing some light classical music in one 
corner, a fanciful tune dominated by flutes and violins.  
Friends grouped together, chattering about the event, 
laughing, and pointing around.

Now Xu felt more left out than awed.  She sighed and 
fingered the uniform.  She knew that the other 
instructors, who were probably in gowns and suits, would 
ask her about her choice of fashion.  Xu went to the 
table and picked up a small goblet filled with juice, 
then walked to a relatively empty area and stood, sipping 
slowly at the drink.  When would the festivities begin?  
As an instructor, she had to be present, especially since 
she was one of the high-level people.

*BUMP*

"Hey!" Xu lurched forward.  She didn't fall, but the 
glass went flying and smashed on the floor.  The wine-
colored liquid spilled everywhere, a red stain on the 
white marble floor.  Darn it all! Xu turned around.  
"Who--"

"Sorry, sorry," said a man, looking very sheepish and 
embarrassed.  He had shoulder-length dark hair, and wore 
a light blue shirt with khaki slacks.  He had two dog 
tags on a chain around his neck.  He'd been in the army, 
then.  Besides, he looked quite strong.  Who was he, 
another recruit?  He looked a bit too old for that.  And 
yet, he looked vaguely familiar. . .behind him was a 
younger girl, slim and graceful.  She wore a blue 
sleeveless shirt with white lapels and a white skirt.  A 
long, gauzy green scarf went around her waist and draped 
down her arms.  Her hair was short and brown.  Her eyes 
were smiling with a strangely peaceful gaze.  Hmm, Xu 
thought, she must be his daughter.  Yes, something about 
that pair looked awfully familiar.

"It. . .it is no matter." Xu didn't want to clean up the 
mess, but she had to tell someone.  "Excuse me while I 
get someone to--"

"Nah, I'll do it.  My fault anyway." The man stooped down 
with a napkin and started to brush the glass shards.  
"Sorry.  I'm so clumsy.  Er. . .do you know where the 
food table is?"

"Yes.  It's right to your left." Xu pointed when he got 
up to look.  A long table, covered with a gold-
embroidered linen cloth, was laden with platters and 
bowls of food.  Rows of crystal goblets filled with 
various drinks grouped together on one end.  Clean plates 
and silverware were on a smaller covered table to its 
right.  "Help yourself before the real dancing starts.  
Then you won't get a chance."

"Oh, of course.  Thank you." The man continued cleaning.  
Xu began to feel faintly amused.  The poor man didn't 
really have to be doing this. . ."I'm Xu.  Xu Lanhua.  
You?"

"Me?  I'm Laguna Loire, and this is my ward, Ellone." 
Both bowed, then shook each other's hand.  Laguna smiled 
at her.  "You're a cadet?  Or are you already a SeeD?" He 
gazed at her.  Quite pretty, he thought.

Xu flushed.  "I'm an instructor." It must be the uniform, 
she thought at first.  His next words proved her wrong. 
"Oh!  I didn't know they hired teenagers. . ." Laguna's 
mouth, as usual, was getting out of hand.  "Dang, you're 
a prodigy." He looked at her with admiration that made Xu 
blush.

"Uncle Laguna!" Ellone chided him softly, with a little 
laugh.

"I'm twenty," Xu informed him blandly.  Well, he looked 
young too.  She said so, anticipating a similar response 
from him.

"I'm thirty-six," Laguna replied, with a grin.  "Guess we 
both know how it feels." He laughed freely.

"Yes." Xu didn't know what else to say. "I. . .I see." 
His easygoing demeanor pleased her.

"Why are you in a uniform?" Laguna gestured to the other 
instructors.  "Didn't feel like dressing up?"

"No, I simply couldn't.  I don't own any formal dresses." 
Xu braced for his reaction.  Yep, there it was.  Laguna 
laughed, and Ellone with him.

"We're the same way," the girl said, with flushed cheeks 
and a smile on her face.  "Glad to know that we're not 
the only ones like that here.  Hey, were you involved in 
the missions at all?  I was on the boats for a little 
while, and I didn't see you. . ."

"No," Xu said, although it wasn't strictly true.  She was 
responsible for saving Cid, but she didn't particularly 
care to broadcast the fact.  "No, I stayed at the 
Garden."

"Ahh." Laguna nodded.  "Well, actually, I'm here for 
business purposes."

Xu didn't believe it, not with his attitude.  But anyway. 
. ."Oh?  What's on your agenda?"

"I'm the President of Esthar," he began.  Xu's eyes 
widened and she took a step back.  This bumbling, common-
looking (well, cute, actually) man was president of that 
huge, technologically advanced place called Esthar?  This 
man ran the entire country?  Unbelievable!  And--he was 
one of the people who had helped out!  Flustered, Xu 
started babbling.  "I'm so sorry I didn't know you, 
President Laguna!  You see--we are all aware of what you 
have done for us, but I never did see a photo or a name 
or anything--Esthar news doesn't really come here that 
often--and--and I--it's a pleasure to meet you, sir!" She 
bowed deeply from the waist, her back ramrod straight.  
Then she look up, flushed and embarrassed.  "You're the 
president of Esthar. . ."

"I know I don't much look the part," Laguna said, 
laughing, "and yes, Esthar used to be quite xenophobic, 
but anyway--we need a new military commander is all.  
When the Lunar Cry came, the army attacked the monsters 
before they could overrun the entire place.  A lot of the 
army was destroyed, and many were trapped in the skytube 
for days. . .but anyway.  Cid said he could spare a few 
commanders from his group, and so did Martine."

"Martine's back in business?  That's good to hear," Xu 
interjected.  "No longer at Fisherman's Horizon?"

"Nope, he's back at Galbadia Garden, with his own agenda.  
He's a changed man, that Martine is.  Anyway.  Where was 
I?  We have enough of the original army left and a big 
enough population to keep the army going, but we don't 
really have that much leadership talent on our side.  I 
used to be in the army, but I was a soldier, not a 
commander.  So I talked to Cid, and he said that I could 
come over sometime and take my pick of talent."

Xu nodded.  "You chose a good time to come.  With all 
these people here, no one important will be missing."

"That's what Cid told me, too." Laguna looked over the 
crowd and caught sight of Cid with Edea.  "Good idea, I 
guess.  I just got here, though."

"Oh?"

"Well, we got the Ragnarok back from space, y'know.  So I 
tried to fly it."

"Did it crash?" Xu was becoming more amused by this man 
every moment.

"No.  It just needed some parts replaced, and it was 
fine." Laguna sighed.  "But it took us a bit of time, so 
I just got here now.  And Ellone too."

"Mm-hm." Xu nodded.  "Why do you want to fortify the army 
anyhow?  The battle is over with Galbadia.  The place is 
a wreck anyhow." She sounded rather sober.

"There will be future battles." Laguna sounded faraway 
and regretful, as though he were speaking of something he 
loathed yet respected.  "I always did and always will 
hate the principle of fighting and battle.  But as long 
as we humans exist on Earth, there will continue to be 
fighting and discord.  My hope is that we, well. . .we 
can settle it on the side of justice."

Xu nodded. She liked him, and his attitudes were right in 
line with hers.  The president didn't act like a pompous 
jerk, the way the Galbadian guy had done before he was 
killed.  No, Laguna was caring, he acted normal, and he 
was ready to be friendly.  No wonder Esthar had elected 
him.

"Besides, I need people in command under me.  This is an 
excuse to ship in new faces so that I'm not handling the 
whole place alone." Laguna looked harried.  "The place is 
big, and I know I screw up a lot.  I need people to help 
out."

Ellone poked him.  "You have Ward and Kiros."

"Aw, yes, but. . ."

Xu laughed.  "I understand.  Anyway, the ceremony's going 
to begin--I see Cid and Edea talking to the group.  You--
I--we might want to get closer if we want to see 
anything."

Agreeing, Laguna and Ellone followed Xu as she worked her 
way closer to the front of the ballroom.

A million chandelier lights and their little rainbow 
prisms shone on the party of six that stood in the front 
area of the ballroom.  They were dressed in casual 
clothes, yet easily recognizable to the crowd gathered 
there.  There was Quistis, her groupies whispered.  
Squall was there, making just about every girl blush.  
Rinoa was hanging on to Squall's arm and waving with the 
other.  Irvine was making eyes at the girls, and Selphie 
just hopped from one foot to the other, trying to use up 
her excessive energy.

"To the family and friends of Balamb Garden, I bid you 
welcome," Cid said, his voice booming over the 
loudspeakers.  Heads turned towards him.  "Tonight is a 
special occasion, as we celebrate the accomplishments of 
those in our midst and those from other Gardens.  Please, 
a round of applause for these brave young men and women!"

That was hardly necessary, as applause drowned out much 
of his speech, and whatever there was after the first 
part.  People jumped, clapped, stomped, and generally 
cheered until Xu thought blood would start coming out of 
her ears.  Whistles shrill enough to shatter glass filled 
the air.

"And let us also welcome President Laguna Loire of 
Esthar, and the wonderful Ellone!"

The two made their way through the respectful crowd of 
people.  Xu smiled to see them up there, as they were 
clearly flustered and not used to all this attention.  
Cid made more remarks, but Xu stopped listening.  It 
wasn't as if she could hear anything.

She peered through heads and watched Cid pin gold medals 
to everyone on the raised platform.  Squall and Laguna 
received special medals and extra words of praise.  Rinoa 
received a special medal as well, but it was from Edea 
and not on the behalf of Balamb Garden.  She smiled, 
watching them blush and try to shake off the applause and 
praise.

"Xu?" She heard Cid's voice.  "Darnit, didn't anyone tell 
Xu to be up here?  She's supposed to receive something 
too!"

Xu tried to hide behind a pillar.  She didn't mind the 
recognition.  She minded not having known she was 
supposed to be up there.

One of her female students hauled her out and gave her a 
good shove in the direction of the stage.  Sighing with 
resignation, Xu went up and bowed stiffly.  Laguna smiled 
at her.

"Miss Xu here saved my life during the rebellion at 
Garden," Cid continued.  "Without her, I would not be 
standing here, talking today." Wild cheers erupted.  Xu 
smiled a little and bowed.  She hated posturing before 
people.  Why couldn't Cid just say thank you in private?

She got a medal too, and a warm handshake from Cid.  
Laguna glanced at her, as if to say, why didn't you tell 
me this before?

The ceremony over, Xu stepped down with relief.  She 
wanted nothing more than to go back to her apartment and 
sleep.  She was terribly tired.  Besides, the next batch 
of cadets had the field exams in another month, and she 
was in charge of designing the field tests.  Since there 
were no current conflicts, they would have to settle for 
obstacle courses while fighting monsters in the forests 
of Balamb.  Well, there was that little civil war going 
on over in Rumie, but she wasn't going to touch that one. 
. .an obstacle course it would be.  She had to get to 
work.  With those thoughts, she walked out of the 
ballroom, feeling rather dazed.

"Xu!  Xu!  Wait!" Squall was calling after her, and 
Laguna was by his side, looking rather puzzled.  But Xu 
did not hear, and she went back to her room.

***

"Alone at last."

Rinoa glomped Squall.

"H-hey now, don't go at it so. . .fast," Squall said 
awkwardly.  Rinoa's weight could send him tumbling from 
the balcony if she wasn't more careful when she ran at 
him.  But oh, well.  Squall put his arms around her and 
hugged her.

"Congratulations, Squall," Rinoa said as she drew back, 
playing with the medal now hanging on his chest.  The 
solid gold disk displayed a relief of Griever, the 
"ultimate" GF whom Squall had to fight at the last 
battle.  "Well done back there." Images flashed through 
her mind, a slideshow of Squall's heroic actions in that 
hateful future.

"You too," Squall replied, looking at her medal, with the 
emblem of the Sorceress on it.  The same symbol had been 
passed down for generations.  "I'm glad we made it here."

Glomp.  "Of course you are." Squeeze.

"Rinoa, I. . .I'd like to breathe." Squall could barely 
say it, so strong was Rinoa's embrace.  Her muscles had 
gotten a lot stronger from their near-continuous battles, 
he thought vaguely.

"Sorry." She lessened it.  "Do you wanna go back in there 
and dance?"

"Nah." Squall still didn't know much dancing.  "You can.  
I won't be offended."

"It's no fun if it's not with you," Rinoa said with a 
little pout.  "I suppose I could dance with Seifer, but. 
. ."

"Don't even think about it!" Squall sighed, giving in to 
Rinoa's wheedling.  "I thought you _wanted_ to be alone."

Rinoa shook him a little.  "I also want to dance. . ."

"All right, all right.  But you know I can't dance."

"Good enough for me.  Let's go!" And Rinoa dragged him 
out.

***

"The President of Esthar was right there!  And he was so 
cute too!" Two giggling SeeD girls were prowling around 
the dance floor, dodging waltzing couples as they 
attempted to locate Laguna.  "His name was Laguna Loire.  
Heck, I hope I get stationed at Esthar someday!" Her face 
took on a dreamy expression.  "It's worth the Lunar Cry 
to get a chance to see him directing the action!"

"You bet!" The second girl hugged herself.  "Didja see 
him up there, looking so embarrassed?  He's so modest for 
the president of a huge place like that!  I'd love to 
meet him and just chat in private.  Wow. . ." Her brown 
eyes went misty, as she swept back her short blond hair.  
"I wonder if he'll even talk to us?  We're just soldiers 
without any other position."

The first girl, with brown hair and dark black eyes, 
smiled reassuringly.  "I hope so.  Besides, we can ask 
him about all the stuff that went on with the battle.  
He's had first-hand experience."

"Look, there's Mr. Loire!" The first girl started jumping 
up and down in excitement when she spotted the dark 
ponytail of hair.  She closed her eyes and took a deep 
breath.  "Can you come with me when I go and just say 
hi?"

"Course!  I wanna talk to him too!" And so the two girls 
went quickly across the floor, pausing at the very last 
to check their pulses and breathing in front of the 
esteemed President Laguna Loire of Esthar.

He and Ellone were together, chatting with a smaller girl 
dressed in a yellow strapped dress.  Selphie Tilmitt 
waved at the two girls.  "Hi guys!  Have you met Sir 
Laguna?"

Laguna laughed.  "Sir?  I, um. . .don't know about that 
one."

"Oh, but come on!  It sounds so cool!" The first girl 
jumped in.  "I just wanted to say hi to you!  I'm so 
honored to meet you. . ." she wasn't exactly gushing, but 
she was sincerely admiring the president.  Laguna had to 
smile, while Ellone hid a smile with her hand.  Selphie 
looked slightly miffed.

"Yes, yes!" The second girl nodded, bobbing her head 
eagerly.  "What's Esthar like?  I heard it got closed off 
for seventeen years!  Is it a cool place?  What's it like 
being president of a huge country like that?"

"Well, um, it's hard to explain," Laguna started.  "Well, 
it's nice, I guess.  You've got a lot of responsibility, 
but it's also nice to be the president.  Esthar elections 
are every, um. . .some number of years.  I'm running 
again in about three."

"Oh, I'll be sure to vote for you!" The first girl 
smiled.  "What's the voting age in Esthar?"

"Huh?  I don't really know.  We. . .I let others take 
care of that stuff." Laguna looked slightly embarrassed.  
Ellone cut in.  "Eighteen."

"Then we can both vote for you next year!  Can non-
citizens vote?"

"Er. . .I dunno."

Selphie, feeling more left out than ever, left in a huff.  
She kept taking looks back.  Sir Laguna. . .well, she 
could probably talk with him in the future.  Maybe she 
could get herself stationed at Esthar, along with the 
rest of her friends.  Wouldn't that be nice?

***

"That's right," Cid said.  In a corner of his office, Cid 
and Laguna were poring over profiles of the various 
officers and instructors of Balamb Garden.  Edea was in 
charge at the party.  SeeD parties tended to go all 
night, so Cid had no worried about interruptions.  "Yes, 
Shie was one of our earlier instructors.  She's 
considerably older than most."

"Hmm." Laguna pondered it.  He could use someone mature, 
with experience to back her up.  "What about him?"

"Matyas?  He's all right, but he's a lower-level 
instructor.  Don't know if you'd care to have him." Cid 
pushed that one aside and flipped around some more.  "You 
could have two, you know.  It's not as if I'm trying to 
get rid of them, now, but. . ."

"Of course." Laguna pulled another sheet towards him.  
"Quistis.  Ah, that's the girl up there.  Don't want to 
take her from you."

Cid laughed.  "Thank you.  What about this one?  Dabir.  
Hasn't been around that long, but showed himself to be 
very capable.  Also very self-controlled.  Look at this--
he worked as an aide to the former president of Timber 
the year before he enrolled.  I think he was fifteen 
then."

"Political experience!  That sounds good." The young man 
looked bright and honest in his photo.  "Hmm. . .hey, 
what about that young lady up there?  Xu, I think her 
name was?  I wanted to talk to her, but she left early. . 
."

"Xu!" Cid smiled broadly.  "Ah, that's right.  How could 
I have forgotten her?  Let's find her profile." He 
shifted a massive binder and went to the first-class 
Instructors list.  "She's first-class.  That's right with 
Quistis.  Commander Squall is in mostly charge of the 
Garden now.  He answers to me, but really, he's much more 
capable than I am.  He's at the Administrator level.  Xu 
is right below that." He opened the binder, a much 
thinner one--twenty instructors, ten male and ten female, 
were at this top echelon.

"Xu Lanhua. Instructor #64." Laguna looked at the 
profile.  "Twenty-one years old. . .native of Lian?  
Haven't heard of that place."

"It's a small nation on the Eastern Continent, to the far 
east of Esthar," Cid replied.  "Keep reading."

"Level: First Class.  Position: Instructor for elite 
cadets, science lecturer.  Previously held positions 
and/or education: studied at the Lian Academy starting at 
the age of eleven.  Transferred to Trabia Garden at 
twelve, and Balamb Garden at fourteen.  Became SeeD at 
seventeen, and became an instructor as nineteen.  
Indicated a preference for scientific research and 
strategic planning. . ." Laguna stared.  "Hmm, not bad."

Cid nodded.  "Yes, she was a wonderful addition to our 
ranks.  Armies around the world come to the Gardens, so 
we only train the best." Cid leaned back in his armchair 
and smiled.  "I suppose you'd like to hire Xu?"

"What's she like?" Laguna asked the question, although he 
had gotten to know her a little.

"Well. . .let's see.  Very polite, you'll find that out 
quickly.  Earns and gives respect.  Although I've seen 
her give tongue-lashings to students being expelled from 
Garden, she's nice almost all the time.  Very 
intelligent, obviously, and she's quite the businesslike 
person.  She's quite suited for the general position you 
mentioned, seeing as she made a good leader in her 
classes.  But I have to warn you: she is not easily 
distracted from her mission." Cid laughed.  "She likes to 
get everything, and I mean *everything*, in order before 
she enjoys herself.  Very goal-oriented girl, you see."

"She is a good person?  Honorable, honest, and the like?"

Cid nodded.  "Very much so."

Laguna smiled.  "Then you will be short one teacher, 
sir."

***

"Irvine, I'm warning you!"

Quistis laughed as he started to recite more poetry at 
her.

"Enough, enough!" She slapped him on the chest, all the 
while laughing.  "What will Selphie think?"

"Selphie's mad!" The reply flew across the ballroom floor 
and slapped Irvine in the face.  Selphie jammed his 
beloved cowboy hat into his mouth.  "You done flirting 
yet?!"

"Mmph ght yr," came the eloquent response.  Irvine calmly 
took the hat out of his mouth.  "C'mon, Sefie. . ."

"Don't 'Sefie' me," Selphie snorted.  "Casanova.  Can I 
call you that?"

"Be my guest, Selphie."

"Good.  Goodnight, Quistis.  Drop dead, Casanova." 
Selphie stalked out, her boots clunking on the floor.  
Stamp, stamp, and she was gone from sight.

"There, what did I tell you?" Quistis looked at Irvine 
with a severe gaze that only teachers can mimic.  "You 
better go talk to her before she makes it into the 
women's dorms.  You're staying here temporarily, until 
you go back to. . .wherever."

"Timber," Irvine said.  "I've got a cousin there, name of 
Danice.  If I pitch in with the housework, she'll let me 
stay, no problem."

"Not to another Garden?" Quistis looked surprised.  "What 
about your training?"

"Soon as Trabia is back up, I'm moving out and re-
enrolling there." Irvine sighed, and turned more serious.  
"This place is too big.  And I don't fit in.  I want to 
be a student, not a hero.  People go too easy on you, or 
they expect too much.  I don't want to live up to those 
kinds of expectations."

"Perhaps," Quistis agreed, now wondering about her own 
position.  "But we'll all miss you here.  Selphie doesn't 
want to transfer back to Trabia, you know.  If you want 
to be around her. . ."

Irvine frowned.  "After that last display, I'm not sure 
she wants me around."

"Hmm. . .good point." Quistis thought about it.  "That's 
Selphie for you.  Impulsive as always.  I'd suggest you 
ignore it.  It'll blow over by morning."

Irvine stared at the floor in deep contemplation.  "Maybe 
I better tell her sometime."

"That you like her 'in that way'?  Yes, you better, 
before someone else takes her from you." Quistis smirked. 
Boy, she thought to herself with a sinking heart, do I 
know the feeling. . .an image of Squall rose for a 
moment, but she squashed it down.

"Do you speak from experience?"

"That's my business." Quistis played with the flail 
around her waist.  "Anyhow, I do suggest that you go and 
talk to Selphie.  It's too late now.  If she went back to 
the dorms, she's in her room already.  Wait for her in 
the caf� first thing tomorrow morning, if you want a 
chance to talk to her."

"Sure thing.  Thanks, Quistis." Irvine bowed 
exaggeratedly, then he was gone.

Quistis stayed behind, frowning to herself. "Ah, yes.  
Alone as always." She signed.  The only person in the 
whole group who was unattached. . .

With that thought in mind, Quistis turned and glanced at 
the ballroom floor, where a new couple was dancing.  She 
smiled.

"Owww!  Don't step on my toes, Squall!"

"Can't help it!  I told you, I don't dance!" Squall 
fought to keep from falling as Rinoa pulled him through 
another reel.  "Ah, I'm so dizzy I could puke.  Rinoa, 
let go.  Stop.  Now."

When he spoke in that tone, Rinoa quickly released. 
Squall stood still for a moment, sighing at last.

"Sorry," Rinoa said timidly.  "We--you need waltzing 
lessons."

"Not at this moment," Squall replied.  His head had 
started pounding, and he didn't want to be around this 
hot, milling crowd anymore.  He needed to be alone just 
for a little bit, to catch his breath and to unwind.

"Okay then.  Back on the balcony." Rinoa grabbed him.

Squall resigned himself.

***

"Rinoa, it's cold out." Squall shivered for a second as a 
chilling wind blew.  He shook his head a little, as a 
slight ache throbbed in his right temple.

"Yeah, so?  All that dancing warmed me up.  Rinoa hopped 
around to prove it.  Her cheeks were still flushed from 
the excitement.  She kissed Squall square on the lips.  
He smiled at her, but pulled away, much to her 
disappointment.  "Besides. . .with me here, I'd hope 
you're not cold."

"I'm cold," Squall complained.

Rinoa stepped closer to him.  "It's not that cold, 
Squall.  What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. . .it's just cold out." Squall sighed.  "And 
I'm all tired from the ceremony.  Crowds get to me like 
that.  I couldn't even breathe in there."

"Stop whining, Squall. . .crowds get me all excited." 
Rinoa hugged herself.  Then she peered at him.  "But if 
you're tired and it's cold out, you should go back in.  I 
want you alive tomorrow, not a frozen ice cube.  I'd hate 
to have to cast a firaga on you." She patted him on the 
head.  "Sorry for making you go through all that." She 
hugged him.  "Warmer?"

"Yes," Squall said, a smile tugging at his lips.  Rinoa 
watched his face change from handsome to unbelievably 
gorgeous as he smiled at her.  "Anyway, the dancing was 
with you, so I'm not complaining as much as I would 
have."

Rinoa rolled her eyes.  "Yes, Mr. Antisocial."

"That's me."

She touched his arm, more gently this time.  "Let's go 
in."

***
Next Morning
***

"What do you MEAN, President Laguna hired me as--" Xu 
fell back into her bed, still in her nightgown.  Trust 
Cid to call her in her own room!  "I. . .I didn't apply 
for the position, sir!"

She listened a little longer.  "No, no. . .I--I know it's 
quite the honor, and that President Laguna is a kind man.  
It's just that I--I wanted a say in it and--oh, is that 
so?  TWO HOURS?  I can't pack in two hours!"

Yes, she probably could.  Xu had few possessions.  After 
her parents' death when she was four, she had lived with 
a rarely present aunt and a strict nanny.  To escape 
them, she applied for and made it into a boarding school, 
on a full scholarship.  Since then, she had mastered the 
art of living out of a bag.

"I--I see.  Yes, sir.  General Xu?  N-no, I don't think 
you need to call me that.  And Esthar is. . .no, please 
don't do that. . .right, sir.  Yes.  Understood.  Good-
bye."

After she heard the click, Xu slammed the telephone down 
so hard that that plastic cracked.

***

"Squall's sick?" Zell arched his eyebrows in surprise.  
"The Man of Steel?"

"Yes." Quistis frowned.  "Rinoa said that the party last 
night really got to him.  She said that he looked really 
worn out afterwards, and went back to the dorms by 
himself around midnight.  We were all here till three or 
so, including Rinoa.  That girl can sure dance. . ."

"Maybe he was already feeling sick before the party, and 
it just aggravated things," Selphie suggested.  "Either 
way, I feel kind of bad for him.  Is Dr. Kadowaki taking 
care of him?"

"It's not like he's on his deathbed, Selphie!" Rinoa 
frowned.  "And yes, she is.  She was in there this 
morning, Zell said, and gave him some medicine.  He'll be 
fine in a day or two."

"That's good to know.  Commander Squall would be 
mortified to be out longer than that," Selphie said with 
a giggle.

"I can see him staggering around on the bridge," Irvine 
put in, and they shared a good laugh.

"Xu!  Xu!" A voice shouted behind them.  The group turned 
and saw a stony-faced Xu, with a rolling luggage cart 
behind her.  A black footlocker was on it, and she 
carried a dark green duffel bag in the other hand.  
Behind her was one of her students.  "Don't leave!"

Xu paused and looked back wearily.  "I said, it's not my 
choice." The girl stood still, while Xu grimly stalked 
onward.

"Xu?" Quistis touched her friend's arm.  "You're leaving?  
Cid would never fire you. . .did you find a better 
position?"

"No," Xu said glumly.  "One was found for me, courtesy of 
Headmaster Cid and President Laguna.  I'm to be his new 
general.  He stopped by Galbadia a few weeks ago, and 
Martine also gave him two male instructors." She kicked 
the ground with her boots.  Quistis saw that she was 
still wearing a SeeD instructor's uniform.  "It's kind of 
an order.  I don't want to leave Balamb Garden. . .but. . 
." Quistis could see that Xu was fighting tears.

"I'm sorry," Quistis said softly.  She knew the pain of 
uprooting from a place one loved.  "Can't you visit?"

"I hope." Xu didn't look inclined to say much more.  "Is 
the Ragnarok anywhere around?  I'm supposed to go with 
him on that."

"Yes, it's right out the front gates.  Xu, I'm sorry.  
Please don't be so sad.  I'll get the other instructors 
to write you anyway."

Write me?  As if I had any friends to do that, Xu said 
with her eyes to Quistis.  Quistis understood in a flash, 
and was sorry she had said anything.

"Bye," Xu said with a soft smile.  "Where's Squall?  I 
was hoping to talk to him for a little bit."

"He's indisposed," Selphie said.

"Oh." Xu looked disappointed.  "Well, tell him that. . 
.that he did some very admirable things, and that I hope 
to hear of his accomplishments even in Esthar." She bowed 
to them all.  "Farewell."

"Don't say that," Quistis protested.

Xu made no reply, as she walked towards the gate and 
left.

I don't want to go.  Never put down any roots with 
anyone, never felt like I belonged anywhere.  First place 
I stayed, first place that accepted me, and first place I 
ever made a name for myself.  First place I had friends 
and not just competitors or people gawking at me.

First place I ever really thought of as my home.

It's not fair, Xu thought angrily, as she dragged her 
luggage up the inclined plane aboard the Ragnarok.  It's 
not fair that as soon as something happy comes my way, 
something has to take it away from me or I have to leave 
it.  Does Laguna even care?  Did Cid tell him "You can 
have her" as if I were a pet or something to be sold?

Does anyone *ever* care how I feel about things?

***

Squall made a mumbling noise and pulled the sheets 
tighter over him.  He was shivering all over.  The shirt 
and sweatpants he usually slept in did nothing to 
alleviate the nasty chills.

"Squall?" Rinoa was there, bent over his bed, looking 
concerned.  "Any better?"

He shook his head.  "Still feel sick." He added some 
mental curses.  The effort made his brain complain, and 
he coughed, hard and painfully, into his hands.  "Ugh. . 
.I wish it would just go away."

"I'm sorry." Rinoa dragged out two chairs, and Zell 
materialized next to her.  Both sat down.  "We're here to 
keep you company, until you feel like you need a little 
more rest."

"My head is killing me." Squall closed his eyes, trying 
to ignore the pulsating, burning sensation that ripped 
through his cranium constantly.

"Didn't the aspirin help?"

"No." Squall got to the point.  "I really want to sleep."

Rinoa and Zell exchanged looks.  "Okay.  Feel better, 
okay?  Drink lots of water. It'll bring the fever down.  
See ya." With that, they exited the room.

Squall smiled.  At least they cared.

Now if only his head would follow their esteemed example. 
. .

He turned over and tried to make the pillow feel halfway 
comfortable for his head.  The pain refused to abate.  
Pounding, throbbing, a wrenching pain was burning in him.  
Sleep he thought he could not, but he did.

As if something was tearing his insides out. . .

~~~

"My child."

A woman, tall and slender, with her long dark hair, 
rippling like shadows as they floated in the air and 
across the floor.  Her robes thin and spider-web-silk 
like, fluttering, gauzy, almost without substance, yet 
clinging to the woman's thin frame.  Her eyes two darkly 
glowing spheres, with a loving passion stored up in their 
lights.  Her face a delicate oval, pale and soft.  Her 
hands that stretched out, slim and fine, with a mother's 
gentle touch, reaching out for her child.

"My child, wake up."

Squall opened his eyes.  Oh, where was he?  He slept in a 
trundle bed, crudely carved from wood, its rough-hewn 
surface smoothed with use for many years.  The mattress 
was dark and lumpy.  A worn cotton comforter was all that 
covered his feverish body.  The bed squeaked softly in 
protest when he slowly sat up.

The room was tiny, small, and had walls and floor made of 
wood planks.  It was dark, frightfully dark, and Squall 
could see nothing.  The air was cold and still.  A sort 
of tension was humming softly in the atmosphere, telling 
Squall that someone else was present.  There was a single 
square window in the wall, from which evening light was 
spilling into the room.  The room was pitifully bare.  
There was a single table in a corner, with a half-burnt 
candle.  Tattered curtains were drawn to the sides of the 
glass.  There was no carpet, no clothes in a bundle.  
There was a single wooden chair by the bed, where Squall 
had been sleeping.  When he looked down, he saw no bed, 
but an old wooden cradle, broken to bits from its age.  
Squall could see that the wood was old and rotten.  
Soiled blankets lay in a dirty pile.

Something twinkled in the air.  Something crystalline, 
sparkling, and pulsating.  Squall could feel the tension 
jumping, sparking in the room.  He didn't see it.

And then he saw her.

"Who are you?" The tall teenager carefully got out of the 
bed, throwing aside the sheets.  He searched for a 
gunblade, wondering whether in his condition he could 
fight something so ominous as this dark woman in front of 
him.  It was not there, and he could do nothing but watch 
the woman.

"Your cradle is gone, my child.  I am so sorry, I have 
none other." She spoke softly, quietly, with a sense of 
regret and powerlessness.  Squall heard despair in her 
pretty voice.  No harm, anything malevolent, was to be 
found in her musical speech.  There was no need to be 
saying what she spoke, but she said it simply, as though 
the words would do some good, perhaps comforting her.

"I don't need a cradle," Squall informed her.  "Look at 
me."

The woman didn't see him.  She saw someone else.  She 
looked at him with a loving gaze in her hazy and worn 
eyes.  "I am sorry, my child.  You can no longer rest.  
You look ill.  Please, I will help you. . ." She wrapped 
her soft, slender arms around Squall and gave him a 
genuine maternal hug.  "Your fever is grown worse, my 
dear son.  I am so sorry, that I have no medicine, and no 
money to buy it with."

Squall stared.  Her face, so pale and smooth, was fraught 
with lines of worry.  She looked at him, tears in her 
eyes.  "Do not die, my child.  There will be a hope for 
you, see, I will make you one with my own hands, though 
it costs me."

"No, please.  You don't need to." Squall backed away, 
bumped his head on the wall, and winced as he fell to his 
knees.

"I will go into my garden and gather you herbs," she 
continued, in her pitiful manner.  "I shall gather the 
wood and boil a broth, and then you will be all better, 
my beloved child." She looked at Squall.  "For these 
years I slept on the floor, for your sake, child.  I will 
have you live!  Please wait for me, and be here when I 
return. . ."

"I'm--I'm fine!" Squall jumped up and stared at the 
woman.  He looked at himself, around him, under him, 
above him.  There was no infant to whom the lady could 
have been speaking.

But at last the woman gave Squall a warm kiss on both 
cheeks, then the forehead.  She gathered her skirts and 
went out a wooden door.

Squall stared at himself.  Then he ran out the door, 
perhaps to see if he could help her.  The door opened, a 
blast of frozen air hit his face, with a flash of 
brilliant light, and then--

~~~

***

Xu sat, sullen and silent, throughout the duration of the 
trip.  Laguna was piloting it anyway, and Xu pretended to 
get lost on the very small aircraft.  Not very 
convincing, but she was beyond caring.

Therefore, she sat with her baggage for the whole trip.

The Regnarok was very nice.  Since she had escaped to it 
during the Ultimecia battle, she was vaguely familiar 
with it.  Laguna was a decent pilot, she thought to 
herself.  Now if only he gave more thought to his hiring 
process.  Such as giving advance warning, and giving the 
employee a choice in the matter.  "Rot this mission," she 
thought, not very nicely.  "First chance I get, I'll 
start a war with Balamb just so I can go back." Xu sulked 
in that fashion for the entire trip, with a mindset 
totally unlike her usual can-do approach.

She covered her trembling face with her hands.  What kind 
of a man _was_ Laguna?  Why didn't he even ask her about 
going?  Or was there some special reason that he wanted 
her or needed her there?  He had seemed to kind at the 
party.  Son gentle, with his eyes reflection something 
deeper within--

Xu flushed.  She hated Laguna at this moment; she had to 
remind herself of that.  Yet, she was his subordinate.  
Xu was unswervingly obedient to her superiors.  Despite 
her current disfavor for Laguna, he hired her.  She 
earned her living from him.  Therefore, she should obey 
him.

It was amazing how things calmed down when reduced to 
bare logic, and emotion was suppressed.  Xu fell asleep, 
overcome by weariness.

***

It was a good hour before the Ragnarok, the fastest 
airship in history, finally crossed the ocean and landed 
on the Eastern Continent.  The lights and glassy 
infrastructure of Esthar appeared below them.  Xu could 
see it through a window in the luggage compartment.  From 
her times piloting the Garden over Esthar, she had seen 
its amazing beauty, but she'd never been inside the 
country.  It would definitely be interesting to have 
command over this place. . .

Xu shook herself.  Why was she thinking these thoughts?  
She hadn't asked to come here.

***

Squall muttered something as he drank a glass of water.  
Stupid dream had ended just as he had opened the door, 
and seen nothing except bright white light.  He woke with 
a worse headache than before.  To his surprise, his 
friends and the doctor were standing there, discussing 
him.  He pretended to be asleep, listening in on the 
conversation.

"Lung infection?" Rinoa looked surprised.  Dr. Kadowaki 
nodded.  "Pretty bad.  The throat culture was. . 
.unpleasant, I'll tell you."

"How'd he get so sick overnight?"

"I don't know," the doctor said with a shrug.  "If it 
gets worse, I suppose we'll have to take him to be 
hospital in Balamb.  We're not equipped for extensive 
medicine care here."

"No way Squall's that sick," Quistis objected.  "He beat 
Ultimecia!  He's strong, I tell you. . .maybe it's just a 
minor cold or something?"

"Maybe bronchitis," Dr. Kadowaki said with a shrug.  "All 
I'm saying is, you better stay away from him for a few 
days.  Let him recuperate in his dorm room, and I'll make 
the rounds to his room a few times a day, okay?  I can't 
have an epidemic raging through Garden."

"True." Selphie considered the point.  "Aww, poor 
Squall."

Rinoa looked sulky.  "And we were supposed to go out on a 
date in Balamb too. . .guess we'll have to cancel those 
plans."

"C'mon, Rinoa," Zell chided.  "Think of something besides 
your romance with him.  Besides, I doubt he would be that 
much fun if he's dead." He ignored Rinoa's glare.  "He's 
just worn out from all that fighting.  Let 'im have a 
rest, that's what I say." He looked around.  Everyone 
except Rinoa agreed.  That is, she said nothing, but her 
face plainly wished it wasn't so.

"Can't help it, Rinoa," Quistis said in a gentle tone.  
"The best thing you can do is to be with him for a bit, 
maybe bring him something, and just try to cheer him up.  
You were always good at that."

Rinoa brightened at that thought.  "Yeah!  That's what 
I'll do." She smiled happily and clapped her hands.  "I'm 
going to cook for him!  Isn't chicken soup good for that 
kind of thing?"

Selphie nodded.  "Yes it is.  Go for it.  Squall will 
appreciate it."

"Wait. . ." Rinoa frowned.  "Um. . .I don't know how to 
cook.  I never learned."  Quickly, Selphie grabbed her 
arm.  "That's okay!  I'll help you!"

Rinoa placated, the group disassembled to train, teach, 
treat, and cook.

When the group had left, Squall coughed violently, and 
grabbed the glass of water by his bed.  Dr. Kadowaki had 
been nice enough to let him remain in the dorms, although 
she promised that if his symptoms dragged on longer than 
a week, she would speedily transfer him into the 
infirmary.

He wondered about the dream.  Was it a flashback from his 
childhood?  No, his infancy was passed during the war, in 
a war-torn village called Tyre, which was nearly in 
Trabia.  There was no way it was that peaceful where he 
had grown up.  His mother had taken him on a refugee 
boat, attempting to escape the war.  They managed to get 
shipwrecked in Centra, instead of ending up in Galbadia.  
When his mother died, Squall was taken to the orphanage.  
Who was the father?  Squall hadn't known that.  He only 
knew what his dying mother had managed to gasp out to 
Edea and Cid before she expired, dead of starvation.  She 
had done her best to keep her baby boy alive.  Now she 
could do it no longer, and the job belonged to someone 
else.

Smiling, he remembered those times.  Edea had treated him 
as a special charge, for some reason he never found out.  
She liked him a lot, and talked to him.  She was severe 
to him if he did wrong, but there was a strange 
gentleness in her manner that seemed reserved for Squall.  
Why?  Had she known that he would grow up to be the 
Commander of Garden?

Thinking made his head hurt more.  Squall downed the 
water, and got up to fill the glass again.  His lungs 
were scorched, what with the coughing.  Besides, fluids 
were good for him.  He didn't particularly feel like 
eating anything.

Sighing, he laid the water down on the stand and got back 
into bed.  When he lay down, the pounding in his head 
abated briefly, then went back to full force.  Squall 
could swear that the GF in his head was probably 
squirming in pain as well.  Sorry, Ifrit, he thought with 
a wry grin.  Can't help this one.  The aspirin hadn't 
helped anything at all.  He was supposed to be getting 
some antibiotics, just in case.  He knew enough to know 
that viruses were not harmed by those medicines, but 
there was enough progress in medicine to put some 
antiviral effect into the antibiotics.

The door opened a crack.  Was it the good doctor with the 
long-awaited medicine?  Squall sat up and squinted, 
trying to focus his blurred eyes.  He saw a tall, womanly 
figure carrying something. . .but she was holding a big 
metal something, not a paper bag of pills.

"Squall!" Rinoa's cheerful voice rang into the room.  
"Selphie and me made you some soup!" Well, Selphie's 
handiwork made up most of it, but Rinoa figured that 
Squall might enjoy it more if he thought that she'd made 
it.

"Rinoa?" Squall was pleased, if surprised.  His voice 
cracked, and he winced and put a hand to his throat.  
"Thanks.  But I'm not sure how much I can actually eat of 
that thing."

"That's okay, so long as you try some." Rinoa set the 
medium-sized pot down, and carefully spooned out some of 
the steaming contents into a white ceramic bowl.  It 
smelled quite nice.  "Here, Squall.  Give it a shot?"

"Sure." He pushed himself closer to Rinoa, taking a 
perverse pleasure in having her take care of him.  Heck, 
it felt good. . .like he had a mother, taking care of her 
sick child.  With that thought, he opened his mouth and 
let Rinoa feed him the soup.  Open mouth, receive, taste, 
swallow.

It was good.  A tad salty, but he liked it that way.  
Some spicy herbs made it more fun.  The noodles were 
soft, so they didn't hurt his throat going down.  The 
chicken was soft and in small pieces.  Overall, a tasty 
concoction.  If only he had more appetite.  "Hey, good 
job, Rinoa."

"Thanks!" She beamed.  "Selphie helped me with it.  She 
advised me on a lot of it, so you should thank her too, 
later."

"I will when I get better, or when she comes to visit," 
Squall promised.  "By the way, how'd you manage to get 
into the male dormitory?"

"Heroine's privilege," she said with a smirk.  Squall 
laughed, as the pain started to go away.  They were 
right.  Laughter really was the best medicine to take.  
Rinoa, glad to see his cheer, sat down at a chair by his 
bed.

Squall looked at her.  "I don't want you getting whatever 
I've got, Rinoa." He coughed up something sticky down his 
lungs.  "You sure you want to stick around like this?"

Rinoa grinned.  "I took a ton of zinc tablets." She stuck 
out her tongue.  "Dr. Kadowaki gave me the advice."

"I see." Squall smiled.  "Thanks for visiting."

"You getting lonely?" Rinoa playfully waggled a finger.  
"Don't tell me that the Lone Wolf of the Garden wanted 
company. . ."

Squall only made a face.  "Not funny, not right now."

"Okay." Rinoa folded her hands primly in her lap.  "So, 
guess I'll talk to you and keep you company.  Wanna hear 
some recent news?  Like, from this morning?"

"Sure." Squall hadn't paid attention to any 
announcements.  Not like he ever did.  Maybe, he thought, 
it was time he started actually caring.

"Laguna came last night, you know.  Well, turns out he 
was looking for some staff at the Palace over in Esthar." 
Rinoa sat back like a storyteller.

"Uh-huh."

"Well, guess who he hired?" Rinoa waited for a reaction.

"You." Squall didn't dare think of the possibility.

"Nope." Rinoa swatted at him.  "Like I'd accept if you 
didn't come with me!"

Squall smiled.  "Quistis?  Zell?"

"No.  This person isn't in our group."

"Oh.  How would I know her?  Maybe that girl in the 
library that Zell likes?"

"Nah, not her."

"I give up," Squall sighed.  "Sorry.  My throat's too 
dry. . .I don't wanna talk too much."

"Then have some more soup." Rinoa started to spoon a 
little more into the bowl.  "Anyway, it's Xu.  Laguna had 
her out of Garden by six this morning, and Cid managed to 
wake up half the Garden with his announcement.  I guess 
he wanted to let us know before the rumor mill started 
cranking."

"Smart Cid.  And I don't feel like eating any more."

"Gonna puke it up?"

"No."

"Then it's good for you."

Squall sat up and went for the bowl, but Rinoa held it 
out of his reach.  She was taking a maternal pleasure in 
feeding him now.  "Anyhow, she wasn't too happy about it, 
Zell said."

"He saw her?"

"We all did.  We were kind of training early this 
morning. . .well, Zell called all our dorms and said that 
if we wanted any hot dogs, we'd better get up early.  
Anyway, we saw Xu on her way out.  She looked really glum 
about.  C'mon, swallow." Rinoa coaxed him.  "She said she 
didn't really want to leave, 'cause it was home to her or 
something like that.  Guess I understand.  She left on 
the Ragnarok.  She was gonna talk to you a little too, 
but we said that you were indisposed."

Squall forced his aching brain to take in the 
information.  "Oh.  Huh, I feel bad for Xu." He knew now 
it felt to be yanked away from familiarity, from love, 
from a place of belonging.  "Is it a permanent position?"

"I would think so, unless Xu screws up big-time."

"Which she's unlikely to do," Squall thought.  "I see."

Rinoa sighed.  "Feel kind of bad for her.  I hope she 
does all right in Esthar.  She should like the authority 
she gets, right?"

Squall thought about it.  "It's not just the authority.  
She's also got more responsibility than she ever did 
before.  Esthar's a big place, and General is a big 
title.  I'm sure she'll live up to it.  I just don't know 
how much she'll enjoy doing it.  It's not like being an 
instructor." He smiled at Rinoa.  "That's what Quistis 
told me, when I asked her that question."

"Ahh." Rinoa nodded and sighed.  "Well. . .we'll have to 
visit her sometime.  We can see her in her fancy-schmancy 
general's uniform.  Maybe she'll give us a tour of 
Esthar!  The city was so much fun.  Too bad we had to 
fight while we were there."

*ZZZZZZZZZZ*

"Squall?" Rinoa looked down.

"Geez, he sure fell asleep fast." She left the soup on 
the table, patted his hands, and drew the blanket over 
him.  "Sleep tight, and sweet dreams," she added before 
she left the room.

***

". . .and these will be your quarters." Laguna smiled.  
"This completes your tour.  Do you like it?"

Xu was completely, totally dazed.  She had been used to a 
Spartan existence.  How she had a whole 'suite' of rooms 
to herself?!  A meeting room to discuss plans--a meeting 
room for her guests---a HUGE (by her standards) bedroom 
with a lovely bed--a private bathroom--a library for 
books, material, maps, and such--and attendants.  She 
didn't know that a general had servants.

"Wow."

Laguna chuckled.  "Glad you like it.  Took me a while to 
get used to it too, after barely scraping by as a 
journalist." He looked at her.  "Did you ever read 
'Timber Maniacs'?"

She nodded.  "Yes, now that I think of it!  Fairly recent 
magazine. . .you're still somewhat new to this job?"

"No, it's been seventeen years." He smiled.  "Didn't know 
that it would pull me into that messy war, but still."

Xu nodded.  Yes. . ."I remember crying when. . .when I 
read about Raine." She looked down.  "That was her name?"

Laguna nodded.  "Yes.  There was Julia too, but she 
thought I was dead.  I was twenty-nine or so when I 
married Raine."

"Ah." She paused, something stinging at her eyes.  To 
live through this kind of tragedy. . .and yet still to be 
so content and successful in life.  What kind of person 
*was* this Laguna?

Laguna touched her gently.  "No crying now.  We never had 
any children. . .but Ellone more than made up for that 
fact.  She was my adopted niece, my ward, I suppose you 
would call it legally."

Xu nodded again.  "A sweet girl.  I thought she was your 
daughter."

"Haha!  With me at thirty-six, and she at twenty-one?" 
Laguna doubled over in laughter, while a mortified Xu 
thought over the implications.  "I'm sorry, President. . 
.Sir!  It wasn't meant to. . ."

"I know, I know." Laguna smiled at her.  "Would you like 
some time to unpack?  I know that Ward and Kiros kind of 
want you 'outfitted' properly for the job, whatever 
that's supposed to mean."

A heavyset man and a thinner one appeared behind Laguna.  
"He means, you need to go to the tailor's to get your 
measurements, 'cause there's a uniform issue.  That 
being, you need one." The thinner one nodded and extended 
a hand to Xu.  "My name's Kiros.  This here is Ward."

"Pleased to meet you both," Xu said with a deep bow.  
Then she shook hands with Ward as well.

"Ah, here she comes." Laguna nodded.  He pointed to a 
woman standing in the hallway.  "The advisors say that 
you need a. . .formal wardrobe for your position, 
especially as we're having a small party to celebrate the 
additions to our staff.  It's, um, tonight.  Sorry for 
the short notice."

"Another party?!" Xu was incredulous.  No no no. . .she 
didn't want to go through another one.  "Well, okay."

"Hey," Kiros said as he slapped Xu on the back, "you're 
one of the guests of honor!  C'mon, it'll be fun.  If it 
gets too boring at those stuffed-shirt parties the way it 
always does, Ward and I can tell you tons of stupid 
Laguna stories.  Like about his leg and--"

"Enough, you two!" Laguna looked terribly embarrassed.  
"Xu needs to go to the tailor!" He motioned for her to 
follow the woman.

Smiling, Xu left to get a new wardrobe.

***

Laguna fumed while his two best friends laughed.

"Why did you say all those things to her?!"

"All what things, Laguna?" Kiros grinned.  "I didn't say 
a thing to insult you.  Just said that we had some 
stories stored up about you.  What's wrong with that?  
I'm sure you could remember a few too.  Like that vase 
and--"

"Stop it already," Laguna muttered.  "Look, I know I've 
done stupid things, but you don't really have to flaunt 
them in front of my new general!"

"General, well, maybe she'll get the army in good order."

"She's also scientifically inclined," Laguna added, glad 
to have changed the subject.  "So I thought we could, you 
know, replace Doc Odine with her. . .she's be a whole lot 
more humane than he is.  Don't need him around anymore."

"Uh-huh. . .so where will you dump the Mad Scientist of 
Esthar?  You're only going to inflict pain on other 
countries.  Not that I wouldn't mind being rid of Odine."

"Send him to Galbadia as punishment for both parts," 
Laguna promptly said.

"Maybe." Kiros laughed.

***

"Rinoa, Rinoa!"

Rinoa was sitting in the quad, enjoying the refreshing 
breeze.  It was a very nice day out.  Too bad she 
couldn't be sitting here with Squall by her side, just 
like they had done back at the orphanage. . .

She shivered.  Much as she hated to admit it, she 
probably had a better childhood than Squall or any of the 
others had known.  She had a father and a mother.  
Perhaps they were distant, but they were there.  The 
others had been orphaned during a terrible war, brought 
up in an orphanage, with two parents spread over goodness 
knew how many children.  They had grown up without the 
comforts she had--she lived in a mansion, probably a 
palace by their standards.  They had grown up knowing 
fear.

Rinoa grew up being dissatisfied with her surroundings.  
It was really too bad that she never got along with her 
father. . .she knew that she was right to disagree with 
him, but perhaps she didn't have to be so ungrateful 
towards all he had done.  After all, he had told everyone 
to take care of Rinoa.

So he still loved her, with a father's endless love.

"That man--no, my father," she thought ruefully.  "We 
used to get along so well, until our opinions flew apart. 
. ."

She reached down and touched the first ring that hung on 
her necklace.  It was a gift from her father, on her 
sixteenth birthday.  Flowers and vines were carved on the 
solid silver band.  Rinoa had always loved flowers.

Mother.  Julia Heartilly. . .who was she?  Rinoa hardly 
remembered her mother, except that she had been a warm 
soul.  However, there were times, said Father, that 
Mother wasn't there mentally.  She didn't love him, he 
sometimes murmured to himself under his breath.

Rinoa couldn't understand it.  Why would Mother have 
married a man she didn't love?  She could never force 
herself to marry someone she only liked.  What were they 
thinking when they stepped up to that altar?

Smiling, Rinoa touched the other ring.  A replica, a 
fairly good one, of Squall's ring.  Griever was the name 
of the most powerful GF, the one Ultimecia had when they 
fought.  Rinoa shivered at the flashback, then focused on 
the present.  Squall. . .they'd only known each other for 
several months, but already, she was head-over-heels in 
love with him.  Oh. . .she didn't even know why!  He was 
such a jerk at the beginning, and she had to admit that 
only his good looks attracted her at that time.  But 
fellowship began to change him, and her heart went out to 
him so often. . .

"Squall. . .you've missed out on the best part of life." 
She had said those words to him, meaning them all the 
way.  He had grown up a lonely child.  More than she 
could ever know.  More than anyone could ever know.  
Always searching for someone he could cling to.  First 
Ellone, then. . .then who?  Surely not Rinoa.  He had 
stopped looking a long time ago.

"Poor Squall," Rinoa murmured to herself.  Then she 
thought of the others.

Her mind jumped to Seifer first.  Ah, the fearless rebel, 
the one no one controlled. . .the impetuous one.  The one 
she had gone out with until Squall came along--well, 
maybe not quite like that. . .or maybe it was?  Then 
there was Quistis.  The soldier and instructor, with her 
own fan club.  She was really so capable, Rinoa thought.  
Why did they reject her as a leader at Garden?  Oh, 
spunky little Selphie.  Even Rinoa didn't have as much 
energy as the Tilmitt girl.  They were good friends.  
Zell, the martial artist. . .he was the only one of them 
who found a happy family, or so it seemed.  None of the 
others even spoke of family.  Irvine. . .Rinoa didn't 
know what to think.  A womanizer, but caring for Selphie, 
the one he seemed to have settled on.

They had all grown up under such hardship, but flourished 
as hardy seeds do.  A good gardener can use hard soil to 
produce beautiful flowers.  Those were Cid and Edea, 
Rinoa thought.  The loving surrogate parents who brought 
up these wildflowers of children.

Then she sobered.  Seifer hadn't come back to Garden.  
Heck, she hadn't heard about him in the three months that 
they'd been back in Garden.  She had caught a glimpse of 
him from the flying Garden, on the way home.  He was 
fishing on the docks in Balamb.  Fujin and Raijin, the 
rest of "The Posse", were with him.

She almost wished that he could come back.  Would he 
ever?  He was proud, and would be reluctant to admit a 
mistake.  His temper probably couldn't stand the ribbing 
from every student in the Garden.  And would anyone 
accept him back, after all the trouble he had caused?

Her mind went to nearly a year ago.  How they had spent 
their summer together, sometimes visiting the Great 
Plains of Galbadia. . .sometimes nights out in Timber. . 
.just having fun.  Always.

Seifer wasn't a jerk to her.

What had made him that way?  Was it failing the SeeD 
exams three times?  Was it because Squall always 
overshadowed him, and his pride was so bruised he turned 
somewhere else?  Did Rinoa pacify something lurking 
within him?

Rinoa tried to ignore the thought of Seifer.  Instead, 
she listened to the pleasant chatter of students all 
around her.  Junior students were wondering if the rest 
of their education at Garden was going to be so eventful.  
Older students were wondering what Cid and Edea were 
going to do.

Selphie was in one corner, the newly-elected Head of the 
Garden Committee--the social committee of the school.  
They were in charge of every festival and party that came 
around.

Everyone had such a deprived childhood; they want to make 
the best of whatever's left, Rinoa thought.  She thought 
of the passion for life everyone in her little group had.  
She loved them.  The experience they went through had 
knitted them close together as nothing else could.

She smiled.

Then her thoughts went back to Squall.  Oh dear, she 
thought.  Was he feeling any better?  Did Dr. Kadowaki 
give him effective medication?  What about their date?

She wanted so badly to have some fun with him.  That was 
all!  Just a night in Balamb, or perhaps sitting on the 
balcony together, watching the stars just like last 
night.  When he had smiled at her, and then kissed her.  
When she had felt that the eyes of the heavens were on 
them as their lips touched.

She ached to be with him again.  But she didn't want to 
make him uncomfortable.  He needed his rest, after all.

***

Xu turned this way and that, staring at herself in the 
full-length mirror.  Ignoring protests, she had gotten 
dressed herself.

She was in a full-blown evening gown, something she had 
never worn before.  It was sapphire-blue velvet, and was 
sleeveless and strapless.  A wide circle of gauzy white 
flounce went around her shoulders, front, and back.  
There was a cutaway skirt of white illusion starting at 
the waist.  Little rhinestones were scattered in the pale 
folds of the sheer fabric.  She wore matching heels.  Her 
hair was pulled back with silver clips.

The dress was beautiful.  But Xu didn't feel that she 
was.  Therefore, she felt out of place in the dress, and 
did not like it.  She was posturing.  Xu did not belong 
in an evening gown.  She was a soldier and instructor, 
not some princess decked out for a night's dancing.

But nobody else was going to believe it.  Swallowing her 
annoyance, Xu observed herself in the mirror.  She looked 
decent, if out of place, in the dress.  She had to admit 
that the sewing went by very fast, though it was by hand.  
She shuddered to think that the woman was probably 
working on more clothes, like the general's uniform, 
while Xu was dancing that night.  Well, not like Xu would 
really be *dancing* or anything.  She could just stand 
and look like a general.

Thus decided, Xu took the long, transparent scarf that 
was supposed to go around her waist and arms, Ellone-
style, and draped it around herself.  At least it felt 
nice and soft.

Time to par-tay, Xu thought grimly.

***

Evening came and went in Balamb.  Quistis spent it 
helping the instructors design the SeeD exams.  They had 
to look at Xu's notes--the ones she hadn't taken with her 
to Esthar.

Zell and Irvine spent it training, after eating hot dogs.  
Supposedly they had wreaked some havoc in the training 
center.

Selphie spent it with Rinoa, and finally coaxed her into 
joining the Garden Committee.  Rinoa was also wondering 
about her status as a member of Garden.  She was a 
sorceress in the making, but not a fighter.  Edea wanted 
her to stay and train, and Rinoa had finally agreed.  Her 
magical abilities might come in handy in the future.

Squall. . .Squall spent it in his room, hacking up his 
lungs, Quistis thought with a sigh.  Dr. Kadowaki had 
administered the medicine, and with Squall's 
constitution, he should be fine by the next day.  They 
all hoped.

Quistis felt a tad sorry for Rinoa as well.  They were 
finally getting around to enjoying some time together.  
They could pursue a relationship without worrying about a 
Blue Dragon getting in the way.  Of course, Rinoa playing 
nurse to Squall was rather cute.  Quistis felt a twinge 
of jealousy, remembering her fondness for her top 
student.  Then she swallowed it.  Squall was in love with 
Rinoa, and she with him, she reminded herself.  No need 
to remember past emotions.  Besides, he's your student.

Not any longer, her mind reminded her, but Quistis shoved 
that thought out of the way.  If she wasn't going to do 
any productive thinking, then she might as well get back 
to work.

***

Xu sighed.  Her back killed from standing for so long, 
and her feet were murdering her in those high heels.  The 
dress, what with the bare shoulders and all, made her 
feel woefully undressed.  Besides, everyone was coming 
over to her, talking to the new General of Esthar.  She 
was the guest of honor, the star, the center of 
attention.

While she liked being in charge, Xu hated this kind of 
public affairs.  People paying homage made her nervous.  
She had absolutely no idea what to say.  Well, she said, 
"I'll do my best", but seeing as no wars were coming up, 
that was a rather useless statement.  Rumors flew that 
she was supposed to work in the laboratory a little as 
well.  That suited her fine.  Xu loved science.  It was 
the part with everyone bowing and offering a handshake 
that unnerved her.  She was a figurehead, not a person.  
She was "The General", not Xu Lanhua.

She had to admit that Esthar was a good place to work.  
People were generally intelligent and kind.  Laguna and 
his crew were doing their best to put everyone at ease.  
The citizens were dressed in evening clothes, not the 
night-robe sort of clothes they seemed to favor for 
ordinary days.

Now, if only she could get to her job, and away from this 
party.

Laguna came over, dressed in a tuxedo.  Xu nearly gasped.  
WOW, but he looked good in a tuxedo.  His long hair made 
him look. . .well. . .Xu had never been attracted to a 
man in her life.  And she wasn't to him, not in that way.  
But he sure looked handsome.  Besides, he had given her 
some remarks she cherished.

"If anything is ever unsatisfactory, come to me.  Don't 
hesitate to speak your mind.  I used to be a journalist, 
you know.  If you don't agree with me, let me know.  
Something can always be worked out."

At least I'm working in a positive environment, Xu 
thought with a smile.  She turned to acknowledge two more 
people who were staring at her.  They left and she 
sighed.  Laguna was waving from a distance, trying to get 
her attention.

"Ah, Xu!" He called to her.  "I need to have a talk with 
you about your immediate mission."

"Yes, sir." Xu bowed.

***

Squall yawned, pleased that most of his symptoms had 
disappeared.  Dr. Kadowaki's medicine had worked wonders.  
All that was left was a low fever and a slight shortness 
of breath, but he knew that those would go away in good 
time.

He had hardly eaten anything all day, except for the 
soup.  He looked at his desk and saw that it was still 
there, courtesy of Rinoa.  Happily, he got out of bed and 
poured a little.  He drank it.  Not bad, he thought.  It 
was nice of her to go to all that trouble.

Alone in his room.  Squall liked that.  A loner by 
nature, although he had learned to enjoy company, Squall 
still liked being by himself best.  He got out of his bed 
and pushed open the windows.  The sky was a dark blue 
mantle, stretching above him.  Stars were glittering 
there again.

A meteor shower seemed to be going on.  Squall watched 
it, a smile lurking at his lips.  He had watched a meteor 
shower with Ellone once back at the orphanage.  Just like 
Irvine said, he always wanted Ellone to himself.  
Everyone always called her "Sis".  She was only a little 
older than himself. . .how many years older?  Yes. . .two 
simple little children, innocent victims of a brutal war, 
standing in a ravaged land, forgot their impoverished 
surroundings to watch the heavens and the wonders 
contained there.

Squall watched the silver-lavender flames shoot from the 
sky, tiny tongues of celestial flame dancing in the dark 
sky.  Just as they had been, eleven years ago in that 
broken-down lighthouse by a stormy sea.

He loved stars.  Squall liked the rain and he liked the 
stars.  There was no real reason he could pinpoint.  Just 
the fact that he did.  He liked to stand outside on the 
stone ground and watch clear teardrops fall from the sky, 
or to watch twinkling dots in the velvety night sky.

"Libra," he thought.  "And there's Orion." The hunter 
reminded him a little of himself.  Reckless but proud, 
fighting to the end.  Yes, that was him all right.  He 
had always been that way.  From his sparse and unpleasant 
memories of his childhood, he remembered kicking Cid when 
he first arrived at the orphanage.  Was bullied by bossy 
little Quistis and went crying to Edea.  Fought with 
Seifer for bed privileges and everything else that there 
*was* to fight over.  Was so insensitive, even then, to 
Selphie that the cheerful little girl cried when little 
Squall didn't respond to her words.  Followed Ellone 
around with a puppy-dog crush kind of love that made him 
search for her for months after she left.

That was his life.  Rinoa had improved it, he thought 
with a faint smile.  She taught me to enjoy other 
people's company.  He had never felt attracted to any 
girl before.  Rinoa was quite the first encounter, and 
she had him.

Stretching his arms a little, Squall gazed at the stars a 
little longer.  They twinkled, beckoning at him.

***

"Adel," Xu muttered angrily, slapping her thick sheaf of 
papers.  So that was it.  That was why they needed a new 
general who understood science.  Because Adel was thought 
to be defeated, but she was *living* on the Moon, 
wreaking havoc.  Another Lunar Cry was predicted to 
arrive shortly--in perhaps five weeks, in fact.  Xu was 
supposed to strengthen the army, and to see if something 
could be done about it.  Figure out what exactly called 
the monsters--what was it about the Lunatic Pandora.  
Then try to eliminate that property, eliminate the 
problem, and hire a few SeeDs to exterminate Adel once 
and for all.  A simple job, the way Laguna put it.  Such 
a straightforward job.

"Easier explained than done," she muttered under her 
breath.  Well, it beat Ultimecia returning.  Adel hadn't 
been that powerful anyway.  It was the research aspect of 
her job that bothered her.  Xu didn't mind putting on a 
lab coat and playing with some rock samples, but she had 
no desire to work alongside Odine.  Frankly, the man 
frightened her, with what she considered good reason.

Xu was back in her room, dressed in a simple white 
nightgown.  She had showered and washed her hair.  She 
threw herself into her queen-sized bed with the soft 
sheets and down pillows.  Besides, she could swear that 
the fabric was silk.  The bed was big enough for her to 
lay spread-eagled if she felt like it.  These were 
luxuries she had never experienced.

Hey, might as well get what she could out of a job like 
this.

She only wished that Cid had hired someone else.  Like 
Squall.  Come on, surely the Commander of the Garden was 
more fit for this kind of job.  He could banish Odine, 
destroy Lunatic Pandora by summoning Eden, and everyone 
would be happy.  Xu didn't want this job, never had 
wanted it, and never would desire it.

For Heaven's sake, she thought to herself wearily, I came 
to command armies.  Not to beat up a sorceress and mess 
with minerals and machines.  Ah, well.  At least I'm 
getting paid about ten times the salary of a Garden 
Instructor. . .

But she missed Garden with a deep, painful ache.  There 
was a hole in her heart.  Strange that a place would have 
such a hold on her, but it did.  She called Balamb 
Garden, not Esthar City, her home.  She didn't want to be 
here.  She felt almost ludicrous--here she was, her first 
night, after a big extravaganza with her at its center, 
and she was homesick to the point of tears.

Xu turned off the lights, closed the door, and started to 
cry softly.


End of Chapter One

*************

To everyone who read this, thank you for your time.


---Irene

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