DB Sommer wrote:

This took me longer to finish that I thought. No prereaders this time, so
there should be plenty more mistakes to correct.

  That's like walking a tightrope without a net!

The Cat That Danced With Death
A Rurouni Kenshin fanfic
by D.B. Sommer

All C+C appreciated. You can contact me at sommer@3rdm.net

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And also Angcobra is now storing all of my fics, at
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  Too many... bad jokes... must restrain...

However, as with all women past the age of forty, she did not feel that way.
Earlier, when her mood had been foul, she had told him as much, pointing out
her perceived flaws in excruciating detail. Her dark hair, bound in a bun on
top of her head, was now shot with streaks of gray that were increasing
their numbers of late. Her face held lines of time that, even with generous
amounts of make-up, were difficult to hide. The somewhat demure figure of
her youth had long ago given way to a more voluptuous maturity that even she
had never guessed was coming. Over the years, bearing two children added to
that. Despite the fact she still taught that art, her body continued to
slowly relinquish ground to the effects of the relentless twin banes of
humanity: age and gravity. Both had extracted their price. In all, her form
showed the toll of leading an active life; such changes were an
inevitability.

  Is 'demure' the right word? Shy/modest? I might just not be familiar with the usage...

He took a deep breath, and drank deeply in her scent; one that carried a
hint of jasmine and innocence. It always drowned out the metallic tang of
blood that remained buried beneath his skin, still rising to the surface and
plaguing him when his mood was foul. She was as responsible for rescuing him
from his past as he was for finding he resolve to drag himself out and
abandoning it, forging a new life to make his ow-

  deeply in her scent -- in her scent deeply (?)

  Not sure about that one, but it reads a little awkwardly.

He could tell she tried to fight it -she wanted to keep being angry with
him- but the snort of laughter burst through resisting lips. Once the first
made it out, she surrendered and laughed, yielding to the mood he was trying
to set. Twenty years of marriage had taught him much, including how to cheer
her up, though he still doubted he understood half the things about his
wife. Swordsmanship was easy compared to dealing with the opposite sex.

  'Half the things'? That sounds like something's missing...

Kenshin laughed, using the one that carried a hint of assurance that eased
Kaoru no matter how troubled she was. "I somehow doubt things will end up
that bad. We know better than to let Yahiko and Sano drink too much and have
them try to 'prove who the better man is in a test of arms.' We will not
allow Ayame and Suzume to get into an argument over who's the greater tramp
and disgrace to the family. Yoshi will not be allowed to set off some
fireworks to celebrate, and end up blowing the one of the walls of the dojo
into kindling. And we will definitely keep a closer eye on Hiro and prevent
him from peeking on your sisters when they're taking baths."

  blowing the one of the walls -- blowing one of the walls (extra 'the')

"I just want things to go well." Kaoru's sighed was heavy with the sound of
exhaustion.

  Kaouru's sighed -- Kaoru's sigh (?)

They approached a fish vendor, undoubtably to purchase tonight's meal since
the fish wouldn't keep until next week. As they drew closer, Kenshin watched
people walk by. It was as he scanned the crowd that his gaze fell upon the
man. The instant he did, it was almost as though another force had gained
control of his eyes and forced them to follow the stranger.

  "Undoubtedly"? Is that right? I'd think they'd have a good idea of what they were going to buy. :p

The man was tall, a giant standing six feet high among a crowd where most
were at least a half foot shorter. His appearance was Japanese, but not from
where in Japan he might have originated. His face was gaunt, and judging by
the way his clothing fit snugly around him, he was clearly emaciated.
Kenshin doubted if he weighed more than Kaoru. A wide-brimmed straw hat sat
on top of his head, but it rested back slightly, showing off his face and a
tuft of hair the color of obsidian. Alabaster skin and cold steel blue eyes
contrasted sharply with the black hakuma and top he wore. He was nearly as
pale as a geisha, and his lips were just as snowy white as the rest of his
face. The hilts of a katana and wakizashi rode at his hip, though his hands
hung limply at his sides.

  Second sentence, looks like something got dropped. Maybe 'gave no clue from where...'?

  The description of the clothing is a little awkward, too... but that might just be me. Remember, I can be ignored freely. :)

Kenshin's hand reflexively went to his waist, seeking the reassurance that
only embracing a cold hilt could give, but there was nothing there. The
reverse-blade he owned still rested in its place on the mantle at home. The
sword itself was a reluctant concession to the reality that, as much as
Kenshin might have wished otherwise, the world was still a dangerous place.
In the past, he had discarded his sword, supposedly forever, but two armed
intruders in his home, one even managing to threaten his oldest son, had
changed his mind. While he had managed to incapacitate the intruders with a
broom, it had been a near thing, so he had another sword forged. It was one
that had yet to bathe itself in blood, and the gods above willing, never
would.

  Thought he gave the reversed blade to Yahiko at the end of the manga? Not sure, just what I've heard, though...

Since his wife was in no immediate danger, Kenshin looked back up, but the
gaunt man, despite his height, had somehow blended in with the crowds.

  Crowds plural?

Kenshin nodded and picked up the pace to the stall. He allowed Kaoru to deal
with the fish vendor and watched silently as she began haggling over the
price of some small salmon. He hung back, tending to stay out of such
things. Despite being the Hitokiri Battousai, his appearance was somewhat
benign to the untrained eye, and it wasn't in his nature to haggle over
things. Besides, Kaoru enjoyed the game of bringing the price of something
down and getting a bargain. Over the years she had gotten quite good at it,
though she would grouse for hours on end if she felt she ended up receiving
a raw deal.

  Does he still think of himself as the Battousai? Or is it just having once been the Battousai...

As one, Kenshin and Kaoru headed towards the commotion to see if they could
help. It was a struggle to move through the press of crowds, which doubled
as people moved in the same direction, as many trying to get closer out of
general curiosity as a desire to help. It took many elbows, mostly dealt by
Kaoru, that parted the tide of humanity and allowed the duo to approach.
They stopped at the edge of an open area that the people were leaving clear.
Again they could hear the whinnying of nervous horses, and could just make
out a wagon in the center of the open area.

  Second sentence, repetition of 'as' though I'm not sure what I'd suggest...

Once they made their way through the final layer of people, the pair halted.
Kaoru held a hand up to her face, gasped, then moved behind her husband,
shielding her eyes from the sight. Kenshin, having seen worse, dealt far
worse personally, merely looked on. Only a slight crinkle at the corner of
his eyes and a grim frown on his brow served as his reaction to the sight.

  dealt worse -- and having dealt (Not sure, but otherwise it sounds as though he's thinking, "Yeah, that's bad, but I've had worse." And that makes me think of Goku, for some reason...)

Kenshin forced his eyes to tear away from the body of the man, looking for
another he knew would be close at hand. Sure enough, standing behind several
of the people at the opposite side of the circle, Kenshin recognized the
gaunt stranger. Perhaps before he had been unaware of the Battousai's
presence, but no longer; his unblinking eyes were clearly pointed at
Kenshin, the slender man's piercing gaze seeming to bore right through him.
Kenshin returned with a stare of his own, but the man did not even blink in
acknowledgment. A stalemate or sorts, or so Kenshin hoped. With no sword, he
could not deal with the stranger anymore than he could have Aoshi under
similar circumstances. With the crowd present, Kenshin hoped the stranger
would refrain from trying anything violent, though the presence of the
masses had not prevented the fat man's death. No one was saying the word
'murder,' but rather they used the term 'accident.' It seemed only Kenshin
knew better, and he had witnessed nothing.

  Oh, so Karou's next?

Then it struck Kenshin all at once, just as hard as one of Sano's fists
between the eyes. He knew who the man was, or more precisely, what he was.
It seemed impossible, it defied explanation, there was no logical reason to
jump to such an outrageous conclusion, yet still Kenshin was certain to the
bottom of his soul that he was correct. It seemed right in some inexplicable
way. Appropriate, might have been the word he was looking for. It fit.

  Especcially since they were drinking buddies in the war -- Kenshin gave Death a lot of business, after all.

Fear found itself replaced by determination. Just because something had to
be a certain way, did not mean he would blithely accept it, not without a
struggle. It was unfair, but of the many lessons as he had learned
throughout his travels, one of the foremost was that life was most assuredly
unfair.

  Heh.

"Yes, I think that would be for the best." And no doubt the gruesome scene
had served to disturb her, especially on the eve on what was supposed to be
a festive occasion. Kaoru was never one to be unmoved by the grisly sight of
death, and had become even more sensitive to it since the birth of the
children. Besides, he wanted to return to their home as well and prepare.

  That last sentence seems awkward, but I'm not sure what to suggest.

Kenshin marked the protest as weak. Between the headache and the man's
death, Kaoru had seemed to grow more faint the nearer they drew to their
home. Now she had a ghostly pallor, and was obviously straining to remain
standing. Did she sense what was to come too, on some similar level? Was
this her reaction for what was to come?

  I'm guessing this is more a subconcious denial on Kenshin's part than any real failure to see the truth.

There was a sense of urgency. Time was fleeting. The clothing he wore would
have to suffice. It was loose enough to fight in; most of the clothing he
owned was. He despised tight and confining outfits; a holdover from his
former lifestyle where being unable to move freely often meant the
difference between life and death. In truth, all he really needed was a
sword.

  Ah, he's doing everything he can to avoid thinking about the truth. Poor guy...

He entered the living room to find it resting right where it was supposed
to, high in its place of honor on the wall. Idly, he noted that the room had
been dusted recently. It was odd what one noticed in the moments before a
life and death struggle was to take place. The lack of dust pleased him. It
meant that, for a change, his youngest son, Yoshi, had promptly done what he
had been told. It was a good sign of him finally maturing and taking some of
his responsibilities. It made Kenshin smile, a nearly impossible task with
what awaited him.

  taking his responsiblities... ?

His older son, Hiro was at a friend's house. He had no idea where Yoshi
currently was. Perhaps he was cleaning out storeroom, another one of his
chores he had been given while Kenshin and Kaoru had been shopping. He hoped
his son would not witness what was to come, though in truth he had no idea
of how the upcoming conflict would appear to another person's eyes. He did
not know what form the struggle would take, or even if there would be one.
But in any case, it would be for the best if Yoshi saw nothing. No child
should be forced to witness what was to come.

  his chores he -- the chores he (suggestion)

least for a long time. Marriage, and the happiest moment of his life.

  The honeymoon.

The
birth of Hiro, and learning that there were other moments that could rival
becoming one with a woman for the first time. The difficult birth of Yoshi.
Years spent in blissful happiness, despite the trials and tribulations they
were forced to endure. Sometimes taking the good times for granted when they
occurred, but not now. Everything came back in all of its blessed glory.
Over time, he had come to live a good life, and there was little he would
have changed, at least when it came to the events that he had the ability to
change, and there was no life that was bereft of mistakes. It didn't work
like that.

His hand gripped the hilt of his sword tighter. Perhaps there would still be
more good times to come, more memories to create. It might have been a good
day to die, but it would be a better one to live.

  A good maxim. I like it.

After a seeming eternity, which was less than a dozen minutes, the gaunt man
finally appeared. It was as Kenshin suspected. The stranger approached
through the gate for challenges, not surprised in the slightest that Kenshin
waited at the steps for him. The man walked casually onto the grounds of the
house and home.

  Death: Saiyonji residence?

  Kenshin: ... uh, next door down the street.

  Death: D'oh!

"Yes, you did," the man corrected. "You merely did not recognize me. I was
around you all the time, and you became so used to my existence that you did
not bother to look closely. But I was always there. Much time has passed
since last we met, and you are no longer desensitized to what I am. My
reappearance after so long has opened your eyes. Now you see me before you."

  Kenshin: And I see that you really need to get some new clothes. Those are _so_ pre-Meiji!

Kenshin let out a long breath. He saw mist form from it. The temperature was
dropping quickly. He hadn't even realized it, distracted as he had been with
what was to come. There were dark clouds overhead, and he wondered if it
would be cold enough to snow, like Kaoru had thought earlier. He found he
wanted to see snow again, decorating the landscape with a sheet of white
that buried everything under a veil of pristine innocence. It was an
illusion, of course, all the dirty things were still there, but it was an
illusion he had enjoyed throughout his life.

  Of course, it was snowing when Tomoe died. Rain, he decided. It would be nice to see rain. And maybe some lightning. But not snow.

Save when bright red blood was spilled on top of it.

A brief memory of Tomoe assailed him, and for a moment his resolve almost
broke and he released his sword, prepared to meet his fate. But then
thoughts, memories, and dreams of Kaoru chased his doubts away, and he was
determined to fight once again.

  Hehe... Sorry. :p

"I cannot be defeated," the man told him.

  Kenshin: Fine. I challenge you to a drinking contest.

  Death: ... That's new.

The Hitokiri Battousai. He had defeated everyone in the end. Not a boast,
but fact. And this time, maybe more than ever, he had to win. It was going
to be the hardest contest ever- of that he had no doubt. There was no sense
in holding back, not against this opponent; it was pointless. Accepting
that, Kenshin opened the fight by feinted with his shoulder to the left,
while bringing his sword up, then pivoting on his heel to abruptly change
direction and sweep in from a high arc to the right.

  I sense a reoccuring theme...

Again there was a moment of doubt for Kenshin, a sense that everything the
man had said was right and that he should just lay down his sword and accept
what was to come. Had it not been for a sudden flash of the joy of his
family's faces as they celebrated Yoshi's last birthday a month ago, he
might have done so, but the memory of the happiness they shared shook him
out of his perceived helplessness, and he gathered his strength and returned
to the offense. If not for himself, then for them he would continue his
struggle.

  It seems kinda out of his nature for him to fight the natural order, as it were, but I can see this easily enough.

The sword nearly slipped from Kenshin's grasp. That was it. He was almost
out of strength, and would truly be at his opponent's mercy. There was only
one thing that remained, one attack left to unleash. He had sworn to abandon
it when he refused to kill again, for it was only a killing technique,
reverse blade sword or not. Part of him felt nauseated at the idea of
relinquishing his most sacred of vows, one that was just as strong as what
he promised his wife on the day they were married, to love her and remain at
her side until death parted them. Was compromising his integrity worth the
price of survival? Against another opponent, probably not. He was willing to
die for his ideals under those circumstances, but against the being that
stood before him now, could he even kill him with a sword at all?

  Well, this is a force of nature, not a person...

Through eyes made white with pain and focused on only one thing, a target
one inch below the throat, Kenshin streaked through the air like a bolt of
lightning. No one had ever parried the blow, or came close to evading it. It
was the pinnacle of his art, a move he had created on his own. An unbeatable
technique when delivered correctly, and he could feel to the base of his
soul that he had never unleashed a more perfect blow in his life.

  Which means, obviously, that it's going to be deflected.

It was odd how now, at the end, he was concerned only for his wife and the
children, and how they would have to carry on without him. Especially Kaoru,
who would bear the worst of the burden. She had already lost her parents and
was forced to raise her two sisters with only Dr. Genzai to help  until he
had come along.

  Extra space between help and until

Now history would repeat itself as she was forced to raise a
family alone once more. She deserved better than to have that fate thrust
upon her shoulders so that she should relive that experience. Now she was
older and more tired, but their sons were older than Ayame and Suzume had
been at that time, which would make things easier. No doubt his
sisters-in-law would help, especially since Suzume still hadn't settled
down. And there was Megumi, Sano, Yahiko, and other close friends and
acquaintances that would come together in their time of need. They had made
many of each throughout the years, helping others whenever they were in
trouble with no desire of any form of recompense, although frequently they
received it in the form of friendship. His wife and sons would be taken care
of, if they let themselves.

  Gah. Is he _still_ deluding himself?

"Will it be quick?" Kenshin said, unable to pick his head up off the ground,
barley able to speak with how tired he felt.

  said -- asked (?)

"No," Kenshin said through tears of joy, "Your Mother and-"

Will it be quick?

"Dad, you're squeezing a little hard."

Quick and painless.

  Well, it had to come to him eventually.

His voice sounded so hollow, empty of everything. She and Sano would have to
keep a close eye on him. And Yahiko could be summoned from his wanderings as
well. Ayame was only two villages away, and from what she had gleaned last
week from Kaoru, Suzume was coming in from Hokkaido as well, intent on
dropping by for the winter festival. Perhaps she could leave a few days
early.

  Repetition of, 'as well'.

"She died a long time before you were born. I was only several years older
than you are now when it happened. Anyway, ever since then, your grandfather
spends an hour out there, sitting in the exact same spot every single day."

  'only several' sounds awkard... but that could just be me.

"Wow. If he's not here yet, he must be pretty slow."

  Kids are great.

She wrapped up the chocolate again, her appetite lost. Later, she would
share it with Tomo and Seiji. They were her brothers, after all, and she
should be nicer to them, just like their grandfather was. If he could be
patient with them, then she could too, no matter how irritating they could
be.

She thought he would have approved.

  Subtle. I like it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

First time using Rurouni Kenshin, and it turns into another sad piece. I
tend to do these every now and then. It's the nature of my muse. Had it in
my head for a while after watching the OVAs. Original ending was different
and more abrupt, which I didn't care for once I wrote it. So I added the
Megumi and Mitsune bits, which definitely felt better and bring better
closure for my taste. More somber than the TV series, but I preferred the
more serious mood the OVAs set. Not completely satisfied with it. I think it
could have better impact in the early parts, but I'm not sure how to do it
at the moment. It could be I'm just being paranoid or overly critical, and
I'm not dissatisfied with what is there, merely that I feel there's room for
improvement (but isn't there always?). Definitely prefer this to the
original ending, so there is that. And if anything comes to me or someone
says something which rings true, I can probably incorporate that. Heck, one
of the reasons we send these out to the list is for feedback and getting a
different viewpoint from our own.

  I liked it. A well thought-out piece.

  Subtle, rich flavor, and a bouquet not unlike aged OAVs. ;)

  Seriously, though, it was very good, and much better than my own attempts after watching the OAVs.

I think that just about does it for my ramblings. Ciao

D.B.Sommer