Slow down here, buddy.
First of all, I hadnt meant what I wrote earlier as a complaint about the
story itself. If I had thought it sucked or had no point to it I wouldnt
have said anything at all. Anybody who's made it out of fifth grade has a
damn good idea of the quality of what they are writing and how it compares
to other 'literature.' I wouldnt tell some first time author his spamfic
about pikachu didnt build enough of a moral dillemma for Misty. This,
though, I thought had merit and wanted to let you know that I saw some real
meaning in it. We're all writing what we feel, and everyone has their own
story to tell. Its not often though that you skim through your mails and see
something that sparks some *personal* internal memories, where you see that
the author has been through some of the same things you have. I can tell
you've been writing and that this was a work that took time to conceive.
Thats exactly why I DIDNT start of by saying 'Wow dude, super-de-duper fan
fic! Im getting all wet just waiting for the next chapter!' I was
congratulating you, for fucks sake.
Bebop is one my favorite all time anime series because it *did* tell what I
referred to as 'this story.' It has action, drama, romance, comedy, sex,
well thought out dialogue, and very importantly, a real and definite point
about its main characters. You're right, I do think Spike, Jet, Faye, and
Vicious are shades of greater figures; it would be impossible to tell a well
thought out story without doing that. Someone once said that nothing today
can be original; Im not sure if that applies in all art, but it does as far
people writing about their own experience with things like failure, malaise,
and a growing lack of hope and faith. (Another author just talked about this
in an eva fic a day ago.) And this is fine! This is good! It shows the
ability people have for personal connection, it shows we share a place in
society as well as in thought and emotion. I dont think you or anyone
disagrees with this. By saying 'oh *this* story again' I was trying to tell
you that I saw what you meant! I saw that *you* saw Bebop was telling the
story of a man's last chance at living a real life, giving up his demons and
trying to find something worth hanging onto, further than the pursuit of
instantaneous pleasure. Whoever wrote the series (im not sure who exaclty)
took a whole lot of time building the scenes for his characters, showing
where their interests really lay, their loyalties, and maybe the most
telling thing about a person, what few things have the ability to change
them. Bebop made some very real and definite choices with its cast, Spike
was a man's last attempt at sewing everything together. He made himself such
a potent protagonist, spent so much time taking his interest in joy in the
physical activities that he excelled at, it eventually became clear he had
all but given up his ability to create the new emotional attachments his
body and mind so needed. He was running from one life but looking for his
next in the wrong places. He wanted to be its master, find only the things
that appealed to him in this 'superman' state, and he eventually had to
accept that life just doesnt work that way.
And even this is one small way of seeing the picture. Bebop is a cast of
characters in the head of a real 'grander single persona' who keeps changing
around his own goals and never letting the pieces settle long enough to
reform into a single living being. MANY people are forced to do this at
points in their lives, some never recover. But anyone who has ever stepped
off the deep end in the course of his soul searching and realized he was
falling into a hole he might not be able to dig himself out of, has
expierienced the things shown in bebop. The constant attempts at finally
landing the 'big score' and being able to give up the silly rat race
altogether is a modern idea that is the inspiration for so much of our art.
So dont think Im trying to bust out my Oxford edition of Ye Olde And
Faultless Rules of 'LitCrit' and put you down or something. (I took ONE
college english course at the freshman level four and a half years ago. All
of this is solely my own expierience.) What you did was look at Bebop's
story, see that in the end the death and dissolution was inevitable, but
also realize that it still wasnt the end of that 'grander persona's' life
and that there would be much, much more to tell of those characters in that
world. Demi-urges like Spike do not die, they incarnate them selves again
and again in different ways as man continues his search for meaning and love
in this ocean of chaos called life. I cant stress this point enough.
So as for your story: I read the thing a day ago and saved it in my mail box
to reply. I think I see (especially with the fact that Vicious is still
secretly alive and pulling the strings) what your going to do with it. I
like it, I told you specifically i was interested to see where it goes. My
points about adding in the back ground material were an attempt to help you
tell the story better and show it on a bigger scale. Perhaps I am
disipointed with my own inability to portray the gritty reality of life in
this lethargic, dog eat dog state of life to my own satisfaction and would
love to see someone competent like you catch it better. So take my advice if
you want to or dont. I think telling the story of Spike *demands* a little
off-time where the guys laze around apathetically showing that while they
will not let up their strengths of body and character for an instant, they
also arent realizing that they are letting their ability for emotional
attachment and the simple love of being alive in the world fade away, which
as ANYONE who has been through psychological hell knows, these are some of
the most important things we human beings can posess. (If not the MOST
important thing.) And I know that you know this.
HERE'S WHAT MY WHOLE BIG F&*^%ING POINT IS:
You saw the series and how it ended. Wasnt very 'final' and left loose ends.
You sat there wondering what happened to your heroes and why they could
fight so hard to eventually be given things so intangible as 'comradery'
that they didnt even ask for in the first place. What do continuations
usually do? They try to make up for this with giant last battle sequences,
huge final rewards for the good guys, everybody getting what was coming to
them, wrapping up every loose end, putting the hero in the arms of the
heroine together (while maybe killing off a few minor characters for
dramatic effect) and basicly fucking up *everything* the creator of the
story was trying to do in the first place. What was so great about bebop is
that it WAS left in the air. Thats how life is! Nobody wins the jackpot in
reality: life is about compromises, learning small things and working for
posterity. Preserving the mysteries and enchantments. Living to fight
another day. The series showed that gathering together every last little
good thing about your self and jamming it together into some sort of
psychological super hero DOESNT WORK and causes you to give up the things
which really matter, like friends and familiarity.
I WAS SAYING THAT I LIKED YOUR STORY AND THAT I WANTED TO HELP YOU MAKE IT
GOOD, AND REAL, AND DRAMATIC, AND ARTISIC, AND REACH OUT TO OTHER PEOPLE
LIKE IT TOUCHED ME, ASSHOLE!
That said, I hope you understand why my earlier statement seemed rough. If i
offended you, know that it was never my intention and I truly apoligize. I
wanted to skip the bullshit and get right to the point, to show that you
*were* saying the right things, telling a good story, and that one of your
readers really appreciated the effort. I never respond line for line, I'm
not a damn spell checker. *I* am always looking for personal responces
instead of mere syntax criticism. I thought you might like the same.

Forgive me if I say, "Oh brother, another college student taking
Literary Criticism 311, trying desperately to let everyone know how
smart he is."  You're trying too hard, Max.  Don't get me wrong,
you've got points here, actual references to actual authors, and some
fine use of vocabulary.  But you also have problems.  See, I once was
where you are now, trying desperately to place literature's rules on
fanfiction, trying to teach fanfic authors how to write properly.

In NO WAY was I trying to do this.

Does Bebop need a continuation?  Probably not, from a LitCrit
standpoint; it's made its statement, that life is inherently finite
and tragic, and that a second chance often proves inconsequential.
You may as well just have him reincarnated many times until he gets it
right, or go into a Kafka-esque study of how every character in the
main cast is Spike in different reincarnations, all trying to tell him
something.

And if I did (not that I know much of anything about kafka except his
man-into-bug book) wouldnt that be a real opinion from a person trying to
look deeper into the fic as well as the anime?

But don't begrudge your fellow fanfic author a little fun
simply because your view of the subtext says the story is done.  Give
him comments and criticism in the context of his story.  Pretend, if
you will, not to have the prejudice of LitCrit learning, of your own
set of "rules" for the series, and view the story on its own merits.

I suggest you stop trying to impress people with your bold statements
of generic LitCrit claptrap (ooh, that sounded nice);

Zing!
(Clearly, I dont think I impress anyone.)

it's pretentious
and ultimately underwhelming.  Focus instead on the little things:
punctuation, for example; I noticed quite a few missing apostrophes,
and at least one comma splice.

To this I only need say: WHO THE FUCK GIVES A CRAP ABOUT PUNCTUATION IN A
REPLY.

Or perhaps focus on having the
foresight not to quote the entire story you're replying to when you
don't provide line-by-line commentary.

I dont know what you mean by this.

And if you have not, for some strange reason, taken Literary Criticism
in the 300 or 400 levels, I apologize.  I also congratulate you for
having internally summoned the poor judgment and elitist attitudes of
a student who has taken the class; it is not often such poor traits
are revealed without the assistance of college.

Ouch. Well, dont blame college, someday you'll go and be surprised that
there are a few decent, deep people walking around. (I spotted one yesterday
at Wendy's.)

Again, that other e-mail and this one were written to be helpful and if they
failed in that I'm sorry. I did like the fic, I will read more, and I hope
maybe some of this gets across. Writing good prose without the line-by-line
mental blabber that i find myself typing all the time is an excellent
quality. Keep it up.




Peace!
Love!
Good will to men!
None of us are getting any younger for god's sake!



Max M.
Aescension


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