Sorry to be late with the comments but... here we go
----- Original Message -----
From: "Donald Lee Granberry" <noharness@mac.com>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2001 1:11 AM
Subject: [FFML] [FanFic][Ranma]Comes the Cold Dragon: Part XII Rev 5.
Well, here it is at long last, the twelfth part of Comes the Cold Dragon.
My
apologies for the delay. My poor pre-readers have slaved over this one
and
have been forced to put up with my less than polished personality in order
to improve this piece and my heartfelt thanks goes out to them for their
patience and hard work. I can be a handful on occasion.
Don Granberry.
And quite a chapter it has turned out to be by this revision...
------------------
Comes the Cold Dragon: Part XII Revision 4
------------------
"Times are already interesting enough without this,"
Ko Lon said as the big Amazon male staggered through the back
door of the Nekohanten. His eyes were glazed over and his
upper body was covered with lipstick stains.
"What happened to you?" Ko Lon asked the man, although
she was relatively sure of what his answer would be.
"Someone ...some THING ...took your cart, Honored
Elder," the man said as he slowly collapsed to the floor.
Kiima, who was visibly upset, rolled the man over so
that she could see his face, and asked, "What on earth
happened to this man?"
"Oh, don't worry," Ko Lo said with a chuckle. "He
hasn't suffered any permanent harm. The effects of this
particular narcotic wear off fairly quickly."
"Narcotic?" Kiima asked. "You have seen this before?"
"Yes," Ko Lon said with a grin. "One of our neighbors
is an accomplished ninja. He probably just wanted to borrow
the cart and our would-be guardian here startled him."
"This is a most peculiar attack," Kiima said.
"Indeed," Ko Lon answered dryly, "implemented by a
most curious ninja. It is not a matter of great consequence,
Kiima. Do not let this trouble you, nor should you punish
this man. There is no way he could have prevented this from
happening."
"But he is a warrior trained by the Joketsuzoku!"
Kiima said.
"Our peoples are not the only ones to impose harsh
training, Kiima," Haabu said, looking down at the fallen man
with obvious amusement. "I gather that the fellow who did
this must be a great talent, as well as being rigorously
trained?"
"That he is, Lord Haabu," Ko Lon said. "He is
something of a friend to your favorite cousin as well. He is
known as the Kunoichi Konatsu Kenzan and is one of the few
people to fight Ranma Saotome to a draw during a serious
contest."
"A draw?" Haabu asked.
"Yes, a draw," Ko Lon said. "They knocked one another
out simultaneously as I understand it."
"Hmm, that is an estimable feat," Haabu said, "but I
thought the Japanese word 'kunoichi' meant that the
practitioner of ninjutsu would be a female."
"It does mean that, Lord Haabu. However, this young
man was reared as a girl. He has the physical strength of a
man along with the pliant and mission-driven nature most men
exhibit, but he possesses the looks of a lovely young girl.
He would make an excellent spy."
"Indeed he would," Haabu said. "We could certainly put
such talent and training to good use."
"I have hope for that very thing, Haabu," Ko Lon said.
"Young Konatsu is a loyal retainer of Ukyou Kuonji, Ranma's
second fiancee."
"Second fiancee?" Haabu asked. "Am I to understand
that he is affianced to three women?"
"Technically speaking, Lord Haabu, he is married to my
great-granddaughter under our law and is affianced to two
girls by Japanese custom. Sadly, his marriage has yet to be
consummated and is, therefore, easily annulled."
Haabu laughed out loud. It was a chilling sound even
for someone as experienced and battle-hardened as Ko Lon.
"Are the other girls nearly so attractive as Xian Pu?"
"They are attractive, but I leave comparisons to those
with plumbing suited to such a task," Ko Lon answered dryly.
Haabu erupted into another bout of his bone-chilling
mirth.
I agree with Herb... ha! Everytime I read this part I break out laughing...
(Man, it has been a long time since we tasted
sweetfish roasted over an open fire, Saotome.)
(What's it been now, Red? Two years?)
And still going since he decides to go for fresh sashimi as a dragon while
he's fishing.
"Oh, mby!" Akane said in a hoarse whisper as she
gently stroked Ranma with her fingers. "And, I'm nod veeling
very seggzy dis mornigh."
"Of course, you are sexy, Treasured One," Ranma said
in a deep basso rumble. "You bear the marks of fierce
determination. What other sort of mate would I chooose?"
I do like this form of speech as well. You should have Ranma speak to
certain people like this more often (not just Akane).
"Akane, my treasure, you must choose."
"Oh? Jooze whad?"
"Between this and the okugi, Treasured One," Ranma
said in a deep voice. "My desire for you is limitless and
timeless, but I constrain it for both our good."
"Why musd I choose bedween dis and the ogugi?" Akane
asked.
"Because there are limits to my control, Dear One,"
Ranma said, "and I will not risk you or my child by dragging
you through the okugi after we have ..."
A little cut and paste is needed above...
"Do you know how badly I wand to magke your male half
go?" Akane asked, cutting Ranma off. "Or vor how longh?"
Was the choice of words above intentional or accidental? That would be a
fair translation of the Japanese term for...well you know.
Showers of glowing sparks danced upon the cold stone
floor as droplets of sweat hissed upon the incandescent
billet. Forging a new nation was hard work, but worth the
effort. Tetsugo knew such work first hand, having done it
before. He had very high hopes for this project, even though
its location seemed improbable. His skills had improved
considerably since his last attempt.
I look forward to seeing this one fleshed out...
The single most important man in all of Japan rose
early. It had long been his custom to rise early. The one or
two precious hours of solitude in the graylit dawn were the
only private moments he could have. By law, he had no
official duties. By custom, he never involved himself in the
politics of his nation. By custom his person was the link
between his people and Amateresu, but this aspect of his
existence had no legal standing. Officially, he was never
consulted on matters of national importance. Decisions were
made in advance and then brought before him so that he might
give his _pro forma_ approval. His was a very curious
existence, if one looked at it only from the perspective of
politics and officailly sanctioned public policy.
Few suspected the truth. He did make numerous
decisions concerning certain special situations with which
his people's government had no means of dealing. One such
matter had been keeping him up late at night. He sat down on
his favorite bench in his garden and opened the thick Manila
folder he had been carrying. He leafed through it, merely
scanning the pages as he did so. He had already read every
word on every page and had studied every picture it contained
down to the minutest detail. One of the photographs caught
his eye and he stopped to look at it again for perhaps the
hundredth time.
Interesting take on him...what caused this line of thought? On a side note
with the only child of the crown prince being a girl...and probably going to
be their only child...his brother's got girls too... things are possibly
going to be up for a big change...
The faces of the ministers, two men and a woman, lost
all color. The Mikado seldom gave a direct and plainly stated
order. Imperial wishes were almost always framed in the
language of a request, or of a suggestion.
Funny I see "Mikado" used in western texts so often. Modern historians,
etc.have followed the modern linguistic form of calling him the "Tennou."
Same meaning, different kanji.
(Late in the war it got to be real hard to move
anything around without the Beijin shootin' it up, remember?)
See my note at the end. And even if you stick with "beijin" that still
isn't polite... it should be "beikokujin." As "gaijin" should be
"gaikokujin."
Akane smiled. Her wrist flicked as her chopsticks went
snicker-snack, then she held them out towards Nabiki. Nabiki
looked down at them. Akane had captured a housefly by
trapping one of its wings between the blunt points of her
chopsticks. Nabiki's heart froze in her chest. Catching a fly
requires much more than mere speed. Even most untrained
people are more than quick enough to catch one. Catching a
fly requires a peculiar state of mind, a kind of
concentration which allows one to anticipate the fly's
attempt to avoid capture. Akane had just demonstrated that
she could achieve such a state without effort.
Indeed... More like a state of non-existance. You're not really watching
the fly, but you are... you aren't really trying to catch him, but you
are...and then you just suddenly do it. Not easy to relax your mind into
that state...
"Oh, I think my fingers will do everything that need
be done, dear sister!" Kasumi said cheerfully. "Hold her foot
up, Akane."
Oh my! Are you sure this isn't a lemon, Don?
Akane shot the bird at her older sister, so Nabiki
gave her a level five smirk in return. This little fracas
held every promise of escalating into another tickle fight,
but was interrupted by Kasumi bearing a roll of paper towels.
I've tried that myself, but unfortunately I've found that "the bird" doesn't
seem to carry much meaning in Japan. A shame too, because it'd be handy
for dealing with traffic...
The motion rapidly became less and less violent, even
as the bubbly things became larger and larger, until, at
last, Ranma found himself drifting through them, one at the
time. The "bubbly things" had become loops within loops of
ethereal ribbons, glowing in a pitch black void. Most were
arranged in pairs within pairs, twisting and dancing in a
complex pattern.
Interesting...where did this idea come from?
"But you love me too, don't you?" Nabiki asked.
"OF COURSE!" Ranma said, sounding a little annoyed.
"You took me in. Then you saw to it that I got fed and had a
place to sleep. You put up with my old man and you even have
a letch for my girl half! How could I not love you? Do ya
really think I'm so stupid that I didn't figger out how
things work around your old man's house?"
YEAH!! I am typically an R+A fan, but I'm glad to see this...even if things
aren't meant to be for them...
----------
The Japanese often refer to Americans as "bei-jin." The word
"bei" means uncooked rice. We sent shipload after shipload of
rice to Japan after they surrendered in WWII. We brought so
much rice to Japan that we became known to them as "rice-
people."
---------
Not sure about the history of this one, but I can tell you that are a bit
off the mark still.
First the US is refered to as Amerika (America in katakana), and its
citizens as Amerikajin is modern Japanese. Possibly in formal documents
"beikoku" (written as kome + kuni; "uncooked rice" + "country"), but even
that is only an abbreviation. The true root of the 2 or 3 kanji names of
foreign countries comes from the fact that the name can be written out fully
in kanji. Don't ask me what all of the are... I do know the US ones
though...It is written A (asia), ME (rice), RI (useful), KA
(add/increase/join in). Consequently the KA is also used for California and
Canada. Maybe in fact that is the history and the other kanji were formed
around it, but I'd suspect that this use of the kanji are older than WWII
(think Admiral Perry...pre-Meiji...).
One final comment. This is a long story involving Japanese
characters in a cultural setting that is Japanese. I try very
hard to create an atmosphere to match. Given that my audience
is fond of things Japanese, I see no problem with the way I
am doing this. However, there are a few readers who seem to
<SNIP RANT>
Don...we're seeing eye to eye here.
J
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