----- Original Message -----
From: "Donald Lee Granberry" <noharness@mac.com>
To: "KaraOhki" <karaohki@snet.net>; <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Thursday, January 03, 2002 2:14 PM
Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][Ranma]Travels, Training and Trials, chapter 9

on 1/3/02 7:03 AM, KaraOhki at karaohki@SNET.Net wrote:

Here's the latest chapter.  My thanks to everyone who got to read bits

and

pieces of this while I was putting it together.

The major problem with this piece is that it is too short, June. I am
looking forward to more of it. Though I am exceedingly chary of meddling
with the work of a master, I do have a few comments enclosed in square
brackets.

The works of a what??? (Turns bright red.)

Don Granberry.

Travels, Training and Trials
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic by June "KaraOhki" Geraci
karaohki@snet.net

January 2, 2002


Ranma 1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and its
characters belong to her.  I'm merely borrowing
them.  The story below is for entertainment purposes
only, and may not be used commercially.


Chapter 9

"Daddy!  How COULD you?"

Soun cringed and took a step back.  Anger was
radiating from Nabiki in waves, and Kasumi looked
just as upset.  He reached for Genma's arm in order
to pull him back, but missed as his friend took a
step forward.

[Not really that much different from annoying the Pentagon and Wall

Street

all at one and the same time, is it? Very, very hazardous for one's

health.]

He's definitely not being too smart here.

"Now, now, girls.  Don't be upset.  I realize we
should have asked you to attend the wedding, but--"

Nabiki's slap cut him off mid-sentence.  "Liar!  You
did it this way so we couldn't stop you!"

"They just met!" exclaimed Kasumi.

Soun managed to find his voice.  "Girls, please!
Not in public!"

"Are you sure Nabiki isn't the martial artist in the
family?"  Genma rubbed his cheek.  "That's some
right she's got."

[I was surprised that Nabiki did not hurt her hand. Slapping Genma

Saotome's

face must be very little different from slapping a bowling ball coated

with

sandpaper.]

I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter.  Perhaps Nabiki will wake up
in the morning with a very swollen hand.

"snip"

*****

was behaving this way to exact revenge, and

even worse, she and Kasumi were also consuming very
expensive meals and trying to convince Akane to be
as extravagant as her new husband.  He wanted to
cry.

 [Hey! A little cry every now and then is a good for thing for the
Soun...er...soul, especially when someone wallops your pocket book.]

Soun is showing remarkable restraint here.  Unusual, isn't it?

The waiter came back in with another dish for Ranma
and placed it in front of him.  "Will there be
anything else?"  The man jumped when Ranma grabbed
his wrist and looked at his watch.

"Somebody else eat this.  We've got to go."

[Ranma passed on Kobe beef?!! Holy cowpatties, Batman!]

No, no...reread!  This is another dish, not the steak!  There is NO way I
would let somebody else eat Ranma's Kobe beef

"You two have JOBS?"

"Oops," said Ranma.  "Gotta go!"  He and Akane
vanished.

{Like as not, holding a regular job is a violation of the Anything Goes
School bylaws. One is expected to live from the rewards of protecting

the

innocent, or selling their stolen underwear, whichever seems most
efficacious at the time.]

*Shrug*  We've both seen Seven Samurai.  How much did the surviviving
samurai take away with them after the battle?  There's nothing wrong with
a part-time job after school.


(more snipping)

"Don't feel bad, Tendo.  We got what we wanted,
didn't we?"

Soun looked up at his friend, who was smiling
happily.  "Yes.  Yes, our schools have been united,
haven't they?"  Genma nodded at him, but then his
smile faded.

[Has anyone ever figured out why this is so important to these two? I

have

my own ideas, but I'd be interested in your take.]

In Soun's case, I think he wanted to be assured that one of his daughters
would have a husband who would care for her and the dojo, and it would
have to be someone in the same school.  In Genma's case, I'm thinking that
he's sick and tired of being on the road, and wants a place he knows he
can live at permanently.

(snip)

"Ah, is that so?  My congratulations to you both!"
Akane was astonished when Mr. Tsukasa bowed to them,
and only barely managed to return the gesture.

[Oof! I sense a major nicety in the coming future!]

A what?

(snip)

\> >

[Just as a matter of speculation, one of Ranma's weaknesses may not be

the

fear of cats so much as the euphoria he experiences upon being exposed

to

catnip. I would suspect that he has a weakness for the stuff even when

not

submerged in the nekoken.]

I only recall him being exposed to it once in the manga, so that's a
little hard to tell.

*****

"Do you want help undressing him?"

Akane felt her face getting hot.  "Just put him on
the futon.  I think I can manage."  She pulled back
the covering and Genma laid Ranma down.  He looked
like he wanted to say something, but instead left
the room, closing the door behind him.

Undressing Ranma was harder than Akane anticipated.
He slept like the dead, and she had to struggle to
pull off his shirt and pants.  She finally
succeeded, and covered him up.  Then she sat at her
desk and stared at him.

[The author here misses an excellent opportunity to inject comedy.

Something

right out of _I Love Lucy_ or perhaps a Jerry Lewis routine would seem
appropriate.]

Who, me???



Don, thanks a lot for taking the time to comment.  This particular chapter
took me five months to write, and I'm never completely happy with the
first draft.

June



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