OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE

"I am *not* Genma Saotome, nor will I portray him even in a
simulation."

"...but..." The black cat looked inquiringly up at the old
man.

"NO. Do you have *any* idea how dangerous my life is?"

"...but..."

"I've raised kids before you know. Can't you get Drizzt to
do it?"

"Why are you bringing *me* into this conversation, old man?"

"How about I give both of you a major magic item and a
promise of no
interference for a hundred years?" Toltiir asked the two.

The drow ranger looked tempted by the possibility of an
Elder god of
mischief being out of his hair for a century. Not that he
had many funny
slapstick adventures, but it didn't help his image to have
to deal with
"wackiness" or the like. "Joint custody? How about some of
those Arrows Of
Sunlight. Those *could* come in handy. No. Probably not."

"*Absolutely* not. Do you know how many heroes I've
sponsored since Myth
Drannor?" Elminster frowned. "There is no way I'm taking on
an apprentice at
my age."

"Well, neither of *them* could do nearly the job I could
anyway," added
another.

Elminster and Drizzt glared at the newcomer. Neither really
wanted to try
and raise Ranma from the pit of cats and try to overcome
Genma's influence.
There was a little pride involved, however. "Prove it!"

---------

Yet Another Worse Father Than Genma? A continuing omake by
gregg sharp.

DISCLAIMER: Characters are by other people. Ranma 1/2 by
Rumiko Takahashi.
Elminster, Drizzt Do'Urden and the Forgotten Realms are by
Ed Greenwood and
TSR. Toltiir is by Toltiir.

---------

Ranma screamed. He screamed in pain. He screamed in fear. He
screamed in
just plain old desire not to be thrown back in the pit.

The Catfist training was a turning point for Ranma Saotome
in a number of
ways.

Prior to the Catfist he had doubts about blindly following
his father's
dictums. Prior to the Catfist he remembered that he had a
mother. Prior to
the Catfist he was still able to function as a multi-layered
human being.
Prior to the Catfist Ranma Saotome was not exclusively
devoted to the
martial arts.

After the Catfist Ranma would go on to excel in pride and
arrogance,
eschewing all other activities than martial arts. After the
Catfist Ranma
would forget his mother and other people would come to touch
his heart less
and less. He would close his ability to care for others, it
was a tough
world and unforgiving - full of cruelty designed to make one
stronger. Pain
was there to make one stronger.

So, as Genma got ready to throw his son into a pit of hungry
cats for the
second time, it was an excellent time for an interruption.

Genma threw the screaming child into the pit and turned to
where he had put
the bottle of sake. He was hoping the stupid boy would hurry
up and learn
the unbeatable manuever and...

Genma stopped. He couldn't actually have seen what he
*thought* he saw,
could he?

The obese Saotome patriarch turned around and cautiously
peered into the
bottom of the pit.

Except the bottom of the pit didn't seem to actually be
there.

Genma even more cautiously went to the edge of pit and
stared for a few
moments more before he finally summed it up. "My god, it's
full of stars..."

----------

Genma began wandering after that. While he had watched the
floor had
reappeared. No cats. No Ranma.

His reason for wandering was quite simple.

He couldn't face a regular job. He was firmly convinced that
anything
approaching real work was demeaning to a man of his nature.
Genma was also
quite uncertain of what to do now as his plans had been
developed and set
for years.

First he would dump his wife and responsibilities to train
Ranma to be a
superior martial artist. Then he would go off to his old
buddy Soun, marry
Ranma off to one of those daughters, the son and daughter
would then operate
the dojo and lead to Genma's long and comfortable
retirement.

No son. Therefore no ten years of training, therefore no
marriage, therefore
no comfortable retirement. Therefore Genma had to go back to
his wife and
get a job. Providing she didn't kill him or require seppuku.

This was clearly not acceptable.

So Genma had eventually found a nice bar where he was on his
fourth bottle
of sake, trying to come up with a way of compensating for a
son who had
vanished.

The best ideas he'd come up with so far had been: a) just
going off and
forgetting about this and starting over again with a new
wife and child; b)
a replacement Ranma; c) going to visit his old buddy Soun
and divorce Nodoka
and marry one of Soun's daughters. So far "C" was beginning
to look quite
appealing and it would unite the two families.

"Ah, Mister Saotome," said a woman sliding into the barstool
next to Genma.

Genma blinked. This wasn't a bill collector was she? She
certainly wasn't
dressed for a seedy bar in downtown Kobe.

"I was wondering if a deal could be made between you and I
regarding your
son," the woman said to him, then spoke to barkeep. "Tea,
green, hot."

Genma considered as he reached for bottle #5. He didn't
*have* Ranma, Ranma
was *gone*. The entire pit have been filled with a deep
darkness and lots of
stars. When the strange image had passed there had been no
Ranma so it
wasn't like he was doing anything *wrong* by selling Ranma.
He'd sold Ranma
off before anyway so it wasn't a big deal. "Well, my son is
very valuable."

"For the next ten years I'm interested in training your son
to be a sort of
bodyguard to a very important individual," the woman said
quietly but
somehow over the noise of the bar.

"Ah, well he can't neglect his studies in the martial arts,"
said Genma.
"Very important."

"I'm willing to pay a considerable sum," said the woman,
regarding him
briefly with the most unnerving reddish eyes.

"How much?"

The woman reached into her purse and withdrew a small stack
of papers.
"You'll find the pertinent figures there on the first page."

"Well, I don't know my boy is... SOLD!" Genma quickly looked
for the line to
sign on. He didn't have the boy anyway and he could at least
get this woman
to pay his bar tab.

The woman seemed amused as Genma signed and pressed his
hanko into the
appropriate places. "Fine. Fine. Here's the payment in
full."

Genma's eyes popped as the woman lifted an attache case and
set it in front
of Genma. He couldn't believe his luck! By the time this
idiot woman
realized he didn't have Ranma he'd be long gone. "Uhm, so. I
guess I'll
bring Ranma by here tomorrow."

The woman had already drank her tea and gotten up, looking
back over her
shoulder at the portly man. "Oh, I've already taken
possession of the
merchandise."

"Fine, fine," said Genma, not really paying attention as he
popped the case
open.

"Well, we witnessed it," said one of the young men nearby,
getting up to
leave with the woman.

"First time I've seen an engagement arrangement work so
smoothly," said
another.

"Huh?" Genma said, suddenly beginning to realize that
something was wrong as
photographers snapped photos and he realized someone had
videotaped the
whole proceeding. Well, let them. He'd outsmarted all of
them.

"Genma Saotome?"

Genma shut the case slowly having recognized that voice.
Slowly he turned.

This crowd of people he did recognize. He'd stolen from most
of them. Oh
dear.

------

10 years later:

Soun snipped the envelope, wondering why someone would send
him a videotape.

He put it in and immediately wept with joy to see his old
friend Genma on
there. His old friend... wait a minute. Soun turned the
sound up.

Almost sleepwalking, he went back to the package and pulled
out the photos
and laid them aside. The thirty page legal document drew his
attention.

"GENMAAAAAAAAA!"

----------

Nodoka wondered why someone would send her a videotape.

She watched it, rewound it, played it again. There was
really only one thing
she could say about this.

"Where's my sharpening stone?"

--------

Genma, currently breaking rocks in a Japanese prison for
repeated petty
theft and assault on a police officer, felt a chill go down
his back and
thanked the kami he was in a nice safe prison under an
assumed name.

--------

Setsuna Meiou merely smiled as she looked over her own copy
of the document.
Which stated, among other things, that the contract
superceded all previous
negotiations and rendered them null and void. That
basically, if the
contract was broken by Genma, she would have ended up owning
the Saotome
family assets down to the last nickel and putting them into
debt beyond
their ability to pay.

Ranma continued to flow through a complicated kata from
where he was, not
concerned.

He'd read the contract years ago and seen the tape. His
father had sold him
off. Ranma had come to terms with those events.

In the meantime he'd trained long and hard for what he knew
to be an
important job.

Yojimbo. Bodyguard. An old and noble profession, one that
many ronin had
undertaken over many years. He had a new clan and had been
trained by some
of the best of the best.

He still had to meet the Tendos, apparently Meiou-oneechan
felt that it was
important to personally apologize for the oversight of his
father. He was
tempted to bring his iinazuke along, but that might cause
problems.

Finishing by drawing ki in from his surroundings to
replenish the energy
he'd expended, Ranma readied himself for the coming
confrontation.

-------

Nabiki held the door open as she looked over this stranger
come calling.
Tall, with a lithe muscular look that bespoke of a career in
gymnastics or
martial arts. This guy wasn't cute, he instead had the sort
of lean roguish
good looks that could have made a fortune in the modeling
business. "Uhm,
hello."

"Good evening, Miss. I am here to speak with Soun Tendo,"
said the youth,
bowing formally and politely.

Nabiki looked over the guy some more, enjoying what she was
seeing. Not only
was he built quite attractively, but he was dressed pretty
nicely too.
"Daddy is..." How to say that her father was a blubbering
wreck?

"I understand," said the youth. "It is regarding that matter
I wished to
speak with him."

"Oh my," said Kasumi as she arrived. "A guest. I'm sorry but
Father isn't
really up to visitors right now."

"Ah, you're the eldest daughter?" On seeing her nod, the
youth bowed again.
"In that case, I tender my deepest apologies to you as
representitive of
your father. My name is Ranma Saotome."

There was a brief moment of silence, broken a moment later
by the trampling
of feet as the Tendo patriarch lunged for the door.

Unfortunately, Kasumi and Nabiki were still occupying the
door.

*CRASH* *TRAMPLE!*

"Oops." "Ouch." "Owie."

Ranma looked down at the tangle. "Uhm, should I get a
doctor?"

--------

"This is Kasumi, she's 20. This is Nabiki, she's 18. This is
Akane, she's
17."

"This is Ranma," said Ranma, "who is already engaged. You've
got a copy of
the contract."

"The Tendo arrangement predates that one," began Soun again.

"While this one specifically states it takes precedence over
all
pre-existing ones," said Ranma in a perfectly reasonable
tone. "Besides, me
and Mako-chan get along really well."

"B-b-b-but?!" Soun privately cursed Genma for not being
here.

Akane was mollified somewhat. This boy wasn't trying to get
engaged and was
sincerely not interested. She had enough trouble with
Tatewaki Kuno, who had
finally gone all out and beaten her and was now insisting
that they were
engaged. The thing was, as soon as Kuno had offered money to
her father, the
engagement had been formalized pending only one thing. This
boy was her last
chance to avoid the engagement to Tatewaki Kuno.

Nabiki had slowly lost interest. She'd love the chance to
get out of Nerima
but she'd be going off to a college in Juuban soon anyway.

Kasumi looked over the boy with a certain interest. Doctor
Tofu had moved
away halfway through the year, still unable to bring himself
to any sort of
coherency in her presence. He wasn't interested in gaining a
fiancee, which
was a pity, but certainly nothing she could affect. Still it
was worth a
moment of pleasant fantasy. Nabiki would be off to college
soon, and then
Akane possibly. Then she'd be free. Free to do what was a
good question.

Ranma shrugged helplessly. "I'm just here to apologize on
behalf of my
birth-father. I've got quite a full day ahead of me so I'll
just be going."

"B-b-b-but..." Soun desperately sought for something to say
that would keep
the boy here.

--------

"So you see, I make a better father than Genma," declared
Sailor Pluto as
the on-screen Ranma fled. "Ranma is a trained martial artist
and bodyguard
of the Princess - so he's got a career."

"Akane ends up being kidnapped by Kodachi for 'bridal
training' for her
brother," noted Bast. "Looks uncomfortable."

"Makoto Kino gets a sempai and a fiance she can keep, Ranma
gets a girl who
can understand him and who enjoys cooking." Toltiir nodded.
"It's a good
match: they have enough in common for common ground but not
so much that
they're competing in everything. With overlapping duties,
they mesh well
professionally and personally even with his occasional
lapses into foot in
mouth disease."

"Soun doesn't give up on the Tendo marriage concept,"
pointed out Bast.
"Akane may be out of the running, and Nabiki is off at
college, that leaves
one daughter he can push towards Ranma. Looks like she
doesn't do too well
as a seductress - gets too embarassed too easily."

"I have trouble with this image of you as a matchmaker,
Pluto." Toltiir
looked towards the Senshi of Time. "You don't seem quite the
sort. Venus I
could see."

Sailor Pluto shrugged slightly. "Why do I always have to be
the mysterious
no-fun by-the-book manipulative sort? Can't I engage in
something where
people are happier at the end of the game?"

"It's just... odd," admitted Bast.

"AH!" Toltiir pounced as he selected a scene. "Oh HO."

Bast repeatedly blinked, then grinned. "Ah HAH."

Pluto colored slightly and tried to look dignified.

"Gave yourself a lemon scene, did you?" Toltiir smirked.
"Romantic subplot
and kids and the whole nine yards, eh?"

Pluto shrugged again. "Hey. Nobody said I couldn't have fun,
did they?"

====================

-----------
"We are all made - of starstuff." C.Sagan, "Cosmos"


http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com
http://www.geocities.com/mamoru_tengoku
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metroanime@mindspring.com



--
Rick Robinson
RICHARDROBINSON@prodigy.net


If violence is not solving your
problems you're just not using enough of it.

     Misato

"I guess I'm just an old-fashioned sentimentalist at heart.
I refuse
 to accept a no-win scenario.  I hate the thought of a
universe without
 justice.  If the maneuverings of dark powers can't be
exposed and
 defeated by the pure of heart, then there's no point in
anything.  I
 can't believe that."
                               -- Benjamin Hutchins



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