Quicksilver's Quill Offers:
I Was Born to Love You
mbsilvana@yahoo.com	
standard disclaimers




	As I stand here waiting, I reflect.

	I finally understand Kagome- well, as well as I ever
will.   It's a terribly thing to be jealous of
yourself.  How she dealt with Kikyou as gracefully as
she did I'll never know, but the least I can do is
return the favor-  no matter how much I want to keep
her away from Inu Yasha, and declare that she is mine.
 Damn it, we were born into the same time- can't she
understand?  She is mine, and I am hers.  That's the
way it's meant to be.

	I first noticed Kagome when we transferred from
elementary school to junior high.  We hadn't been in
the same school until them, and even though I must
have passed her on the street a hundred times, I
didn't know her.  I guess it was a touch of me being
blind- again.  I've never been particularly observant,
but sometimes I amaze even myself in how dense I can
be.

	I am not who I was, but I remember.   I remember the
anguish on her face after she caught me speaking to
Kikyou.   I remember fighting for her, how the
Tetsusaiga seemed to only respond whenever she truly
needed it, fighting with her when we first met.   I'd
even occassionally thing almost longingly of the
rosary that Kaede had placed upon me, binding me to
Kagome's will.   

	At least then she had known I'd existed.

	I had a crush on her for the longest time- as she
grew older, she only became more beautiful.   I wanted
to ask her out more then anything, but part of me
shied away from the idea.   I had caused her so much
pain in the past... did I have the right to even be in
her presence, much less presume to be her boyfriend?

	It's a strange tale that time has woven for us.  Two
souls, both entwined intricately together,
inadvertanty wounding each other.  Kikyou and
Kagome... Inu Yasha and myself... where does one end
and the other begin?  It makes my head spin, when I
bother to think on it.  That's why I don't bother to-
Shippou would say that nothing has changed, since I
never thought about anything in the past.

	I knew the instant she passed through the well for
the first time.  I felt as though part of me we
breaking away, and that suddenly I was caught back
into the endless loop of fate.   The excuses from her
family started, and I knew what was happening to her. 
I started counting the months, knowing all to soon she
would have her heart broken by the man I used to be.

	I shouldn't've asked her out then, when she was
gettng more and more involved in the feudal age, but I
did.  I simply couldn't stand to think of her in Inu
Yasha's embrace.  It must be the same as she feels
about Kikyou.

	I hate Inu Yasha.  I am not him anymore.  I want her
to love me as I am now.

	"Houjou-kun!   I'm so sorry I'm late!" Kagome says,
coming up to stand beside me.

	I smile at her.  "That's ok, Higurashi-san!" I chirp
cheerfully, hoping to see her smile.  "I'm glad you've
gotten over your pneumonia!" I assure her, pretending
to believe in her grandfather's unbelievable excuse. 
"I've got tickets for that move you wanted to see, and
after I think we can go to the new sushi bar over on
Sakura."

	As I hoped, she gives me the blinding smile I had
been hoping for.  Someday I may find the courage to
tell her the truth about me, but for now, I will do
whatever it takes to ease some of the pain from her
eyes.  After all, she has the right to live her life
without the knowledge of what happened back then....
and to discover for herself why I was reborn here,
now.

	Reborn to be by her side when the Bone Eater's Well
closes for the last time on her.  I will be here for
her then, and perhaps this time, we can have our happy
ending.

***********


Author's Note: Dangling my feet in the IY pool. 
Thanks to her Laz for answering my questions, and Raye
Johnsen for writing the FY fic "Understanding" which
inspired this.  It's a quirky idea, but Kagome and
Kikyou are very different... so I don't think it's
IMPOSSIBLE.... As always, FB is appreciated.

=====
"No matter what the bible says, the battle always goes to
the strong. And I am strong. I don't need to prove that to
anyone anymore."
-Excerpt from Sainan no Kekka- Act Seven, Scene VII

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quicksilver/
http://www.midnightrevolution.org/gundam

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