painamplifier@tds.net wrote:

At 09:28 PM 3/21/02 -0500, you wrote:

YAY! Another chapter!

Please forgive me for being so...lacking...in my C&C compared to the size
of this fic, but you really don't leave much to complain about in your
writing.  Well...except this little typo.

    Relax, she told herself firmly.  Why would she go there
now?  Even if Spasma really is in that spooky castle-thing, Ami
wouldn't be headstrong enough to go investigate on her own.
Minako, yes.  Ami, no way.

?Spasma? Umm, not sure how that got through the pre-reading but that's all
I could find. (Or was it supposed to be an intentional slip of the tongue?)
No other massive spelling errors, no gaping plot holes, no out of control
characters.  The only other niggling little thing that has been bothering
me is this:  Why hasn't Ami tried to do a search about the "Church of the
Sentinel"?  If her 'daytime' job is looking things (information) up why
didn't she do this for something that obviously touches on matters close to
the senshi? Or any other 'mysterious' new happenings?  (Sorry, this has
been bothering me for a few chapters now...)

Other than that, the new developements w/regard to Dasma and Banri were a
surpise!  Those revelations really floored me.  Great job!

On the other hand, (not being sure about where you put Ranma's skill at) I
do have to wonder about how little Ranma is using things like the Saotome
Hidden techniques.  Has he kept them locked away for a reason, 

So far as I can tell Genma sealed the techniques because the one technique has
a nasty habit of killing people around you randomly and the other technique has
a...bad effect on your personality.  I see no reason why those considerations
wouldn't apply to Ranma, particularly if he's hoping to get along with his hosts.

all.  As it stands, almost all of the fights were Ranma is battling
monsters seem...well...droll.  IE. The senshi don't seem to be much
surprised (or their surprise is very low key) at how Ranma is able to fight
monsters without weapons or magic, ie. there seems to be some *blind spot*
in relation to how the senshi think of his abilities.

Frankly, for me the old "Senshi look at how superior Ranma is and ooh and ah"
routine got old a long time ago.  It particularly wouldn't work in this world
which is full of a wildly exotic range of superpowered beings.  Ranma just isn't
that special.  

I note, incidentally, that the Senshi don't use attack phrases either, and that
works for me as well.


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