Gundam Wing is property of Sotsu Agency, Bandai
Studios, and TV Asahi. Sainan no Kekka and all
original characters and plot copyright 2000-2002 by
Quicksilver and Gerald Tarrant. Please ask permission
before reposting.   
SHIN KIDOU SENKI GUNDAM WING  
SAINAN NO KEKKA ACT IX, PART II

Kaze wa tada boku o kimagure ni
Mote asobi nagara fukinukeru
Tsurakute mo itsumo makenaide
Sabaku ni saiteru hana no you ni
 
Brave eyes
Atarashii sora ni kanadeyou
Kakegae no nai egao no tame
Atsui omoi o daite

The capricious wind teases me
And then blows away
Don't give up when things go wrong
Be like a flower blooming in the desert 

Brave eyes
Give the sky a new song
For the sake of irreplaceable smiles
Embrace passionate memories

-Gundam Wing, Brave Eyes
[Quatre Raberba Winner image song]


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~
Scene V: Skeletons in the Closet
"Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?"
-Bonnie Tyler, Holding Out for a Hero
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

Helena wasn't in her room. She wasn't in the main
office, either, nor had she gone to the hospital, as
far as he knew. Shinobu thought maybe she had gone to
talk to General Po, but the general was alone in her
modified conference room, writing what looked like
reports, and Shinobu had left without bothering her.
She looked stressed.

	Most of the base was still sectioned off, and he
seriously doubted that it would be fully functional
any time soon. Even though it had been almost four
days, he imagined he could still smell smoke in the
air, feel the tension around him as the alarms went
off and the guards had grabbed him, hustling him of to
the shelters. He was no stranger to violent conflict,
but he'd thought he had left it all behind him in the
Breaks. To have experienced it twice in places that
he'd thought were secure against such things - once at
Cliffside and once on the Preventers Base - was
shocking, to say the least.

	To have his perfectly ordered world upset like this
had been a freak accident the first time. The second
time�Shinobu would have bet anything that trouble was
trying to follow him wherever he went. He knew that it
wasn't true in the least; they were targeting Duo, not
him, and he just happened to be wherever Duo went. But
something inside him insisted that things would be
safer if he just left.

	Safer for who? For Duo, or for him?

	He wasn't a selfish person. He refused to believe
that despite his efforts, he'd turned out just like
his father and his grandfather before him. His was a
selfish family, and he'd run away from it to escape
that, and he couldn't - wouldn't - accept that his
rebellion had been in vain.

	Maybe that was selfish.

	He plodded morosely down the sidewalk, wandering
aimlessly. He hadn't talked to his grandfather since
leaving Cliffside, but he knew he was just putting off
the inevitable. Seki Hikaru had a knack of knowing
exactly where he was at any given time, and he didn't
doubt that sooner or later, his grandfather would find
a way to get a hold of him even on the headquarters of
the World Nation's military.

	I wanted to get you into the family business, but not
like this. You're playing with fire, boy, and if
you're not careful, you're going to get burned.

	His lip twisted scornfully. It was all right for his
grandfather to say those words; he wasn't the one in
the middle of a world crisis. It seemed very far away
now - the Breaks, the cartel, his family, the petty
arguments and blood feuds that he'd so hated. He still
hated them, but that was the small stuff, the things
he could handle.

	Three weeks ago, even three days ago, if someone had
asked him if he would be willing to give up his life
and return to the cartel in order to help his friends,
he wouldn't have been able to answer. But now, after
the attack, he'd witnessed firsthand what might happen
to the boy who had become one of the members of a
surrogate family. He might want to run, but he knew he
couldn't do that to Duo.

	He would not become the person his grandfather had
become.

	It was a semi-cloudy day and just windy enough that
Shinobu had to put one hand to his head to keep his
baseball cap from blowing off. It had been Duo's cap
once, but he'd given it to Shinobu in one of their
lunchtime chats when he'd first come to Cliffside. The
idea of someone who was able to speak his language was
so intoxicating to the Japanese boy that he'd found
himself gravitating towards Duo almost immediately
after his language counselor had informed him that the
new student, Duo Maxwell, was fluent in Japanese and
would be helping him with his studies. Duo's carefree
personality was a little jarring at first; he'd never
known that someone could be so happy, so�alive.

	But as he'd come to know the braided American better,
he'd found that not all sides of Duo's personality was
sunny. There were times when they would be sitting in
the library doing homework, when he would realize that
Duo was staring at him with a focused, almost haunted
expression on his face.

	Duo? he would say in Japanese. What's wrong?

	And Duo would always respond in a far-off voice, You
remind me of someone.

	Who? he would ask.

	And then Duo would turn back to his books as if the
conversation had never taken place.

	It might have frustrated someone else, but Shinobu
was a product of the Breaks, and he had learned never
to ask questions when it was not necessary. And even
if it had been a pressing matter between them, he
doubted he could have pried Duo's past out of him.

	Well, there was no need for that now. The past was
here staring all of them in the face, and he didn't
know if any of them had the power to stop it.

	And Ilene was dead.

	He and Helena had been waiting for Duo in his
makeshift quarters that night after the attack. He'd
finally found the blond girl in a small group of
civilians being herded by security guards to the
nearest shelter. He'd joined the group, wanting to
explain to her what had happened back in the computer
room, or at least tell her that he was sorry. To his
surprise, she had smiled at him, a bit nervously, but
it was a genuine smile.

	"It's all right," she said. "I understand."

	She didn't say exactly what she understood, but her
smile was enough, and they'd sat through the attack
together in the underground shelter, she pressed up
against him, he with his arm wrapped tightly around
her shoulders, feeling the tremors of explosions and
gunfire through the ground. Neither of them had been
afraid. What was done was done, and it was out of
their hands now. They were no longer high school
students - they were adults.

	Duo had finally burst into his quarters at half past
ten o clock that night, and they'd both jumped to
their feet in shock. This wasn't the Duo they
remembered - this Duo was dirty, with torn clothes and
bloodstains on his shirt and jeans. But the worst part
was his eyes. He looked like he had been crying, but
there were no tears now, just a deadness that
frightened Shinobu.

	"Duo?" Helena whispered.

	"Leave," Duo said in a flat voice.

	"Duo," Shinobu said more firmly, placing one hand on
Helena's shoulder and squeezing it slightly. "What
happened?"

	The blank eyes stared at them, moving to one face,
then another, then Duo shrugged.

	"Ilene's dead."

	Helena made a choked sound between a gasp and a sob,
and Shinobu felt something plummet to the pit of his
stomach. "You're joking."

	In two steps, Duo was across the room, grabbing a
fistful of Shinobu's t-shirt and dragging him close.
"Would I be joking about this? Would I be fucking
joking about something like this?!"

	"Stop it!" Helena begged. "Stop it! Duo!" Her last
word was practically a scream, and Shinobu wrenched
himself away from the braided boy's iron grip,
breathing hard.

	"I couldn't save her," said Duo. His fury seemed to
have disappeared, and the dead eyes were back, set in
a face that looked curiously dead as well. It was
unnerving on someone who had just hours before been so
full of life. "I couldn't�two steps, Shin." His head
whipped around and the pain in that face was nearly
unbearable. "Two fucking steps�I was so close�"

	Helena was shaking her head. "No�no�how could Ilene
be here? How could�I don't understand." Tears rolled
down her cheeks.

	Then it hit Shinobu. "She was one of the terrorists,"
he said wonderingly, not even shocked, simply
unbelieving.

	Duo laughed bitterly. "Bingo. Our sweet, little
Ilene, a terrorist." He laughed, and Shinobu winced at
the harsh sound.

	"Don't joke like that!" Helena breathed, looking
horrified.

	"It's true," Duo said. "I may run, and I may hide,
but I never lie." He spread his arms as if in
supplication, then spun on one foot. 

	"The room is yours. I'm leaving."

	"Where are you going, Duo?" Shinobu said, alarmed.

	Bitter laughter drifted back to him. "Where I
belong."

	"Duo-!" Helena choked out, lunging after him, but
Shinobu caught her arm.

	"Let him be. He just needs to be alone right now."

	It was two days later now, and Shinobu had not seen
the pilot anywhere. He was sure that Duo hadn't come
to harm, because if something had happened to him,
General Po would certainly have notified him. He
hadn't seen Hilde around either, and assumed that the
two were off somewhere having their private time.

	That left him and Helena. The day after that, she'd
learned that Chris was on base, in the hospital,
wounded but alive. Since then, she had been scarce
also. He wasn't sure what her relationship was with
the other boy, but she at least seemed willing to give
it another try. Shinobu knew he shouldn't be, but he
was jealous. Sometimes he'd catch himself wondering
what would have happened if Chris had died, and each
time he would spend hours berating himself. Chris was
a friend, the same as Duo. The same as Helena was. She
was a friend, too, nothing more.

	He sighed, looked up at the sky, and began to retrace
his steps to the temporary dormitory. It was just a
little after noon and he had not had lunch, but he was
not hungry. The hallways of the building were mostly
empty except for a few small children running around
unsupervised, and he headed towards his room with the
dim prospect of spending another day sitting there,
doing nothing, and hoping that his grandfather would
not find him before he could do something to help.

	He turned the corner and saw that the door to his
room was open. He frowned. He hadn't left the door
open and no one else had the key. Maybe Helena�?

	But it wasn't Helena. Stepping into the sparsely
furnished room, Shinobu saw someone kneeling,
rummaging through a chest. He was about to demand to
know what the stranger was doing in his room when he
looked at the number on the door again, and at the
same time that he realized that he was in the wrong
building, the stranger looked up.

	"I�m sorry," Shinobu began, then his brain registered
who he was talking to. The dark-skinned boy's face was
tight with some unknown emotion, but his features were
very familiar.

	"You again," the boy said. "What do you want?"

	He blinked. "Darkflight, isn't it?"

	"Unless someone important sent you," Darkflight
returned, his voice surly, "you'd best leave before I
get angry."

	"What did I ever do to you?" Shinobu demanded. He
wasn't used to being blamed for things he didn't do,
and he didn't see what this boy had against him. 

	Darkflight sneered. "Nothing."

	Shinobu ground his teeth in frustration and decided
that the conversation was over, turning to leave -
then paused.

	It was the perfect time�the only time, probably,
where he would get to ask the question that had been
bothering him in one form or another since he had
arrived on base.

	"You," he said.

	"What?" The boy sounded defensive, and Shinobu turned
back around, the anger fading from his mind now, a
cautious foreboding taking its place. It must have
showed on his expression, because immediately,
Darkflight dropped into a crouch, his eyes wary.

	Shinobu knew that crouch. It was the classic posture
of the assassin about to make a kill.

	"Where are you from, exactly?" he said. "In the
Breaks."

	A spasm crossed Darkflight's face, almost too quick
for him to see if he hadn't been looking for it. "I
don't know what you're talking about."

	"You told me yourself you were from the Breaks,"
Shinobu returned. "It's useless to lie. I know exactly
who you are."

	He was not prepared for the look of pure venomous
hate that crossed the dark face, not prepared for the
knife that suddenly appeared in the other's hand.

	"And who exactly am I?" he growled.

	Shinobu's hands were sweaty. "You're the descendent
of Shionji Kouhito of the Shionji Cartel," he said.
"The son of the missing boy subject from the Operation
Ares experiment. Aren't you?"

	Darkflight stared at him.

	"Aren't you?" Shinobu repeated harshly.

	And then the other boy did the last thing Shinobu
expected. He burst out laughing.

	"This isn't funny!" he snapped. "Answer me, dammit!"

	Darkflight's laughter faded. "You are a fucking
moron," the dark-skinned boy replied calmly, but he
didn't come out of his crouch. Instead, he took one
fluid step forward, eyes fixed on Shinobu.

	Shinobu swallowed. "What are you doing?"

	"Getting rid of you," Darkflight said. He smiled,
showing his teeth.

	"You haven't answered me!" Shinobu said desperately,
backing up till he was up against the half-open door
of the room. He took another step and the door slammed
shut. The sound echoed in the hallway outside. "I'm
right, aren't I? Aren't I?"

	"I know nothing about any Shionji cartel members,"
Darkflight hissed. "All I know is that you know way
too much, and Shadowwing never leaves anyone like you
alive."

	"Shadowwing?" Shinobu breathed in disbelief. "No
way�"

	The pieces of the puzzle snapped into place.
Darkflight was the other half of Shadowwing, who had
been sent to China to kill Chang Wufei, and the reason
he was here was because-

	"Your partner," he said, "is Heero Yuy."

	"My partner's name," Darkflight ground out, "is Wing!
Not Heero Yuy! Heero Yuy is dead!"

	"I was only trying to-" Shinobu said, but Darkflight
had already begun to move, and he threw himself to the
side, hoping to avoid the blade, but he was no match
for a trained assassin. Darkflight was on him before
he could take one step, and he felt himself being
pushed to the ground, felt the tip of the knife at his
throat.

	"I don't like you," Darkflight said.

	"I don't like you either," Shinobu bit out, forcing
himself to keep his gaze level with the dark eyes. His
heart was thudding. Don't let him see you waver. Don't
let him see that you're afraid.

	"You're afraid of me, aren't you?" Darkflight mocked.
"You're afraid to die?"

	"If you kill me," Shinobu said, trying to keep his
voice calm, "you will get a very large price on your
head that I don't think you'll be able to outrun."

	"Oh yeah?" The knife point didn't waver. "And why is
that?"

	"Because I'm the heir of the Black Diamond cartel,"
Shinobu said, forcing the corners of his lips up in a
sardonic grin. "And heirs are expensive to kill."

	"You think that's going to stop me?" But the voice
was a little less forceful now, and he could see
something that hadn't been in Darkflight's face
before. Not fear, certainly�he was a trained assassin,
and the word around was that trained assassins could
not be threatened. But if not fear, then
perhaps�caution.

	"Admit it," Shinobu challenged. "You're not just any
assassin, Darkflight. You're the best of the best�and
the best of the best isn't just born off the streets
of L1. It's made. You - your family, your father -
were MADE! Weren't you?"

	"Shut up," Darkflight whispered. Shinobu could see
sweat forming at his hairline, glistening beads in the
fluorescent lighting of the room.

	"The Operation Ares prototypes were the best there
were at that time. Your father�he was the last
experiment, wasn't he? He was one of the successful
ones."

	"I don't know what you're talking about!"

	He didn't miss the edge of panic in Darkflight's
voice, and suddenly he knew he had the advantage back.
He moved, suddenly, intending to knock the other boy
off balance, perhaps knock the knife out of his hand,
but Darkflight was quicker. As Shinobu moved to push
himself forward off the floor, Darkflight shifted his
weight to the balls of his feet. The knife flashed. He
felt a stinging sensation in his right shoulder, heard
a cracking sound as he tumbled to the floor again with
all his weight falling on his right elbow.

	Darkflight's breath came in short gasps. "Don't
you�ever�threaten me�again!" The dark eyes blazed at
him.

	"I didn't threaten you," Shinobu snarled. "I want the
truth from you! Admit it, that you're the heir of the
Shionji cartel!"

	"I don't remember!"

	"You're lying!"

	"I DON'T REMEMBER!" Darkflight screamed, slumping
against the wall and clutching at his head as though
it pained him. Shinobu tried to struggle to a sitting
position, watching him, tried to staunch the flow of
blood from his collarbone with his shirt. There were
streaks of dark, wet blood across the white tiled
floor.

	"You-" he began, and Darkflight shook his head.

	"Leave me alone. Just�leave me alone!"

	Shinobu stared at him, unsure what to make of this.
He was almost positive Darkflight was the son of one
of the original experiments involving the Shionji
children, but if the other boy was denying it�the
denial itself wasn't what worried him. Denials were
just words, after all. But the way Darkflight was
holding his head, the way his eyes were darting back
and forth�something just didn't feel right.

	"I�remember�lights. Lots of lights," Darkflight
whispered, and Shinobu opened his mouth to ask him
what the hell he was talking about, closed it again.
The dark eyes were closed, and Darkflight was rocking
back and forth, hugging himself. "�they took him
away�they took�him away. I never saw him again. I�" He
trailed off, making a sobbing noise in his throat.

	Shinobu gaped at him.

	"Then it was dark�pain�" his head came up and he
stared at Shinobu with empty eyes. "There's nothing
after that."

	There was something missing. Something he wasn't
getting here�if Darkflight remembered the operations,
remembered being taken away from his family�no, that
was impossible. He'd have to be over forty years old
by now, if he were the original subject, and this boy
didn't look over seventeen. Somewhere in a corner of
his mind, a small warning bell began ringing, but
Shinobu ignored it. "You do remember."

	"Bits and pieces," Darkflight said shakily. "I've
always had bits and pieces. I don't remember, Shinobu.
Whatever your name is. I don't fucking remember!" The
hand that held the knife was trembling. "I'm sorry I
don't match up to who you wanted me to be�sorry you
can't take your revenge on me." Mocking, taunting.
"That's what you want, right? Revenge. For your stupid
little cartel. Like it matters anyway."

	Shinobu's hands curled into fists at his side. His
right shoulder and arm were on fire, but he ignored
them. "You're an arrogant bastard."

	"So are you."

	Darkflight growled and leaped again, and Shinobu
cried out as his broken arm was jarred, brought up his
other arm up to defend himself from the blow.

	"STOP IT!"

	Darkflight froze, half crouching, and Shinobu moved
his head, painfully, until he could see the door�.and
gasped.

	"Helena?"

	He hadn't heard the door open, but she was standing
there, her hands over her mouth, eyes wide, staring at
them as if they were ghosts. "What on earth are you
DOING?"

	"It is a long story-" he began in English, but
Darkflight cut him, speaking in Japanese. "Who is
this?" he demanded.

	"A friend. You know what those are, right?"

	"Fucking son of a-" Darkflight growled, raising the
knife, and Helena gave a short scream.

	"Don't you DARE!"

	"Helena!" he shouted, but she was already running
towards them, reaching him and throwing her arms
around him.

	"Don't touch him!"

	"Don't you hurt her!" Shinobu cried, but instead of
moving towards her with the weapon as he had thought
Darkflight would, the assassin simply gave a careless,
forced laughed, standing and gesturing with the knife

	"Get out. Conversation is over."

	Helena looked confused and angry, and Shinobu
struggled up. She helped him stand, casting
frightened, defensive glances at Darkflight all the
while, but the dark-skinned boy took no notice of her.
It was if their conversation had never taken place.

	"We're not finished yet," Shinobu said, pausing in
the doorway, and Darkflight didn't move to face him.

	"Yes we are," he said.

	It was only until they'd made it to the front lobby,
where she'd sat him in a chair and marched up to the
receptionist's desk and made a request for medical
aid, did Helena turn to him with a puzzled and worried
look on her face.

	"Just what were you doing in there, Shin?"

	He gave her a weak smile. "Nothing. Nothing that you
would want to know."




~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~
Scene VI: Do You Believe God Is Dead?
"You've built a kingdom of arrogance,
Put your god at the throne.
If your god were alive today
He would hang himself in shame."
--Stabbing Westwards, Shame
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

	�Duo?�

	Hilde�s questioning voice echoed through the hangar,
the two silent giants inside seeming to be standing in
a mournful vigil over the wounded base.   She scowled
up at Deathscythe Hell, careful to keep her eyes off
the other Gundam.   She thought she was over the whole
"seeing everything with a golden light" thing she'd
picked up from flying Wing Zero, but she sure as hell
didn't want to take any chances.   And you couldn't
get her back into the cockpit if you told her it was
the only way to ensure world peace.

	Some things just weren't worth it.

	There was no answer, and she sighed as she hadn't
really been expecting one, having a good idea where
she might find her boyfriend.  The looming Deathscythe
seemed to mock her as she glared at it.  "I bet you
think this is funny, don't you?" she asked.  The she
clenched her fists and rolled her eyes.   "Great.  
I'm talking to an inanimate object- I'm just as crazy
as the pilots themselves!" she declared. She stomped
her foot angrily, wishing Duo would just act normal
for a change.   Then again, if he did normal, then he
wouldn't be Duo.

	Hilde tilted her head back, examining the newly
repaired Gundam carefully.   Everything had been
refinished, the dents had been carefully smoothed, and
she knew all of the systems had been rechecked, and
pronounced to be at 100% operating efficiency.   The
scent of fresh paint tickled her nose, and she
approached one of the wires that had been left out.  
Stepping onto the hoist, Hilde clutched the line
tightly in both hands and let it pull her up until she
was even with the cockpit.  "Duo?"

	No answer still.

	"I feel ridiculous," she muttered to herself.   She
heaved a mental sigh and rapped her knuckles smartly
on the hatch.   "Anyone home?"

	It smoothly slid open along the grooves with slight
swoosh of sound and rush of canned air, freshly oiled
and almost like new.   Duo peeked out at her, rubbing
his blearing eyes.   "Whaddya want, Hil?   Can't a guy
get some sleep?"

	Agilely she swung down so she was sitting at his
feet.   It was a tight fit, but at least this was she
wasn't dangling off the hangar floor by a wire.  She
wasn't acrophobic, but she didn't like heights that
much.   "You could get some sleep if you were willing
to sleep somewhere logical.  We've got a room, you
know," she said.  "And you could use a shower and a
shave."   She patted his cheek, which was starting to
get a little stubble on it.   "You're not fifteen
anymore- you need to shave every now and then!"

	He rubbed his jaw line.   His beard wasn't thick
enough to require daily shaving, so that meant it'd
been at least two days since... "How long have I been
in here?" he asked.

	"Aside from your brief stint playing messenger boy
after finding out Trowa had that concussion, more then
four days!   It's time to come out!"

	He flicked his braid back over his shoulder, feeling
decidedly unwell.  :"I just... don't want to leave the
Gundams.  Just in case..."

	"In case what?" she asked.   "We're attacked again?  
The attackers weren't able to get anywhere near here! 
And locking yourself in here isn't going to help."

	"But-"

	"C'mon.   I'm not going to fetch you food anymore,
and it's time you cleaned up.   I'll even braid your
hair for you," she promised teasingly.

	He blushed.   Braiding his hair had often led to
other, more sensual, pursuits in the past.   He rose
and pulled her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her
waist.  "Hold onto me, k?   This hoist isn't meant for
two...."

	"Shouldn't I just wait?" Hilde asked nervously.   

	"Nah!   It's strong enough to lift a few metric tons,
you and me ain't gonna be a problem," he said.  "Just
don't let go before we reached the bottom!"

	She trusted him enough to allow him to pull her
close, one hand around her, with the other on the
cable, steadying their descent.   She squeezed her
eyes shut tightly and started to count backwards from
twenty.

	"You can open your eyes now," he told her.

	Now that she had him out of the small cockpit, she
decided that it would be a good time to broach her
other reason for coming.  "Trowa's coming out of the
hospital today," she said.   "Catherine wanted me to
let you know."

	"So?"

	Her eyes widened in concern.   "He's been there for a
few days.   He shouldn't have been moving around with
that concussion, but he did it cause he wanted to warn
the base.   It's not his fault he was too late to do
any good.  Well, much good."

	"Kill Ilene, you mean."

	If the doctors hadn't pronounced that Trowa's wounds
were over a day old, she would have strongly suspected
Duo of doing the damage in a fit of rage.   She
nibbled on the inside of her lip, the tender flesh
sore as she considered how to word what she wanted to
say.  "Duo, you're going to have to talk to him," she
said.  

	"He killed her, Hilde," Duo said quietly, wrapping
his arms around his knees as he slipped to the floor. 
 "No matter which way you look at it, he killed her."

	"He did it to save your life, Duo," she said.   She
had known that this was going to be sensitive
territory.  She herself hadn't known the girl, but
from what Helena had told her, she'd guessed that most
people had viewed Ilene as a possible girlfriend for
Duo.   She'd shared more time with him than Hilde had,
all told, but it was hard to be jealous now.   Hilde
was alive, and Ilene was not.... how could you hate a
dead girl?

	"My life didn't need saving!"

	"From what I understand, Ilene had gone over the deep
end.   I may not be the best person to talk to about
this, since I didn't know her, but Helena and Shinobu
don't fault you.  You shouldn't blame yourself."

	�Who should I blame then?   Trowa?�

	Hilde shook her head.   �Sometimes there is no one to
blame.  Sometimes life just happens, and we learn to
accept the hand God has dealt us.�

	He looked up at her, a frown furrowing the smooth
skin of his brow.   �There is no such thing as God,�
he said fiercely.   �There never was!  Why the hell do
I bother wearing this thing?� he snapped angrily,
clutching his cross.   With a jerk, he snapped the
chain, and chucked it across the room with all his
might.   �It�s a reminder of all that wrong with this
fucked-up world,� he swore furiously.

	She watched the glittering object sail across the
room.  �Duo� didn�t Father Maxwell and Sister Helen
give you that?�  She knew it had been important to
him, his only link to his past.

	�A sign of their folly.   Their God is dead, is he
ever existed in the first place,� he said.  �He never
was worth their faith.�

	Hilde knelt down beside him, brushing back stray
wisps of hair from his face.   �I believe in God,� she
whispered to him.  �Every time I look into your eyes,
I see him there.  There has to be a God- only God
could grant me someone like you.�  She brushed a kiss
across his cheek and started to pull back, only to be
caught tightly against his body.   They wrapped their
arms around each other, taking strength from each
other�s presence.

	�Hilde,� he whispered.  �Will you let me stay?�

	She shut her eyes empathetically, understanding. 
Once before she had sent him off on his own, knowing
that he needed time to discover himself.  Her abrupt
actions had hurt him, but she had done the right
thing- he had needed that time to find himself.  He
had needed to learn what normal life was.  Now,
though� �I love you, Duo.   Even if we�re not
together, I want you to know that.�

	He gripped her more tightly.  �I missed you so much.�
 

	She melted at his touch.  She wanted to stay next to
him forever, but knew the world wouldn�t be
cooperative.  Still, she could dream�.

	�Am I interrupting?�

	A nasal voice surprised them both.   They were on
their feet; Duo protectively crouched before Hilde as
she fumbled to get a gun trained on the shadows.
�Who�s there?� Duo demanded.

	Out of the shadows emerged another one of the pilots,
one who had been as elusive as the rainbow, and just
as untouchable.  

	"Heero!" Duo exclaimed, throwing himself forward and
landing right in front of his friend with oomph of
shock.   Damn boots had no cushioning...  Normally he
would have grabbed Heero for a back-thumping hug and
plunged headfirst back into their old friendship, but
things had changed.  

	Duo stared at the Wing pilot for a moment, nothing
the long hair silently tracing the scar without
actually touching him. He suddenly realized that he
was taller than Heero now. The Japanese boy had grown
too, but it was mostly muscle, not height. But he
looked older, much older.

	"Been a while, man."

	"I need my knife," Heero answered, cutting through
the usual niceties that were expected after a long
separation.

	Duo motioned to Hilde.  "Can you leave us alone,
babe?   This is a guy thing."

	She opened her mouth to protest, but something in
Duo's lavender eyes halted the words before they could
form on her lips.   "I'll be back at our assigned
room... and you'd better come after you're done
talking to Yuy.   No more sleeping in Deathscythe!"
she declared.  She kissed Duo briefly on the cheek,
tossed a glare at Heero, and stomped out of the
hangar, leaving the two former comrades alone.	

	�Hello, Heero.   I�d say how are you, but you�d just
grunt.�  He backed up a step, not removing his eyes
from his one-time friend.  �So let�s cut the small
talk, and you can start by telling me where the hell
you�ve been, what you�re up to, and why I shouldn�t
kill you for being an unmitigated jerk.�

	Heero seemed to be unmoved.   �My knife�. You said
you�d keep it for me.�

	�I have it, but you�re not getting it back until you
talk to me!  I need some answers, man!   I�ve been
wandering around in the dark long enough, and I�ve had
it!   I want the truth, and you�re gonna be the first
person to give it to me!�

	Heero's expression shifted slightly.   "When are you
going to learn that there is no truth?   Only various
lies."

	It seemed to strike a sensitive spot.   "You gotta
believe in humans sometime, Heero," he said.  "What
happened to you?"  He mimicked the scar on Heero's
face in front of his own again, making it clear what
he was asking about.

	"Call it a baptism of blood, if you want.  It was a
gift."

	"If you call that a gift, you need new friends.  
Looks like they barely kept from blinding your right
eye permanently," Duo said, leaning in a little to
inspect the old wound.

	"He knew what he was doing."

	Duo just rolled his eyes.   "Talking to you is still
like pulling teeth out of a crocodile, you know.  
Snap, snap!   No telling when you're going to bite."

	"My knife."

	"Nope," Duo said, waving a finger back and forth
under Heero's nose impudently.   "Not until you answer
my questions- try to use these things known as
sentences?   And maybe a paragraph or two, if you're
feeling extravagent?"

	"I was on L1.   I worked as an assassin.  I have no
excuse for why you shouldn't kill me right now, but
you're more practical than I am.  Killing me benefits
no one.  My knife, now," Heero said.

	"It's in Deathscythe," Duo said, stepping onto the
hoist to get it.  Heero had answered his questions, as
much as Heero ever would- there was no reason 

	Heero waited patiently until he came back with the
knife, which was still in the leather sheath.  
Pulling it out, he was surprised to see that it had
been well maintained, as though Duo had taken it out
periodically and cleaned it.   The snap on the sheath
was snug, and the knife slid out of it like water.  
"Thanks," he said.

	"I promised I'd take care of it," he said.   "I never
lie."   His eyes shifted over to the other item Heero
had placed in his charge.   "I admit to being a little
surprise at the other present ya left me, though."

	"I couldn't take care of him," Heero answered softly,
wandering over to where Wing Zero was, its bird-like
wings tucked carefully behind its back.  "I couldn't
even take care of myself."

	"Saaaaa...." Duo said, and then seemed to reconsider
whatever he'd been about to say.  "None of us coped
real well," he said.   "I ran away from it, Trowa got
stuck in some kind of limbo focused on his sister,
Quatre did exactly what his family expected him to....
no one ever taught us how to be normal, Heero.   It's
natural we made mistakes."

	Heero's cobalt blue eyes flickered for a second.  
"But you didn't hurt the people you loved the way I
did...."

	"Fuck that, Yuy!" Duo exploded.  "One of my friends
died in the attack -Trowa killed her!   And all cause
I didn't tell her the truth- didn't let her understand
what really was going on.   I wanted to protect her,
keep her innocent, so I never let her know!   If I
had, she'd still be alive, and maybe the base wouldn't
have been attacked!  So don�t you get on your damned
high horse and stop saying me, me, me�. The world
doesn�t revolve around you, you self-centered egotist!
 There�s other people in this world!�

	Heero growled low in his throat.   �I watched her
die!   Atsuki stopped because I called her name!�

	Duo had no clue what Heero was rambling on about, but
he wasn�t about to watch his friend throw a pity party
for himself.   �So?   Ilene died in front of me!  
Trowa shot her because he thought I needed saving,
blast him!   One of the people I'm closet to in the
world killed one of my best friends!   How the fuck do
you think I feel right now?   So, no, I'm not about to
let you wallow in a pool of misery!  We all have
problems- it's called life!   And you have to learn
how to deal with it!   Shutting yourself off and
drinking alone ain't the answer!   Why the hell did
they let you out of rehab, anyway?"   Duo tossed an
accusing look at the long sleeves his friend wore. 
"Shouldn't you still be there?"

	"They let me out."

	"They don't have the brains God gave little green
apples!"

	Heero snorted.  "There's no God- aren't you always
the one telling me that?"

	"You're an annoying jackass."

	"You're still a child who hasn't grown up."  Heero's
counteract was below the belt.

	"Really?  I'm not the one whose holding the knife,
ready to slit my throat cause my friend died."  He
tilted his head.   "Or is that just an excuse?   Using
your friend's death as a way to avoid reality?"

	This time Heero's snarl was much more primal, and Duo
barely had time to brace himself for the punch the
Wing pilot launched at him. 

	Duo, though, was a child of the streets, and knew all
sorts of dirty nasty tricks that most people would
call...extremely unfair.  He tried to knee Heero in
the stomach, hoping to put some distance between them;
Heero had his knife out, and though Duo didn't think
Heero would use it, he didn't want to take any stupid
chances.   He had trusted Ilene, and she'd wound up
dead.

	Heero managed to block Duo's attack, launching one of
his own.   His fingers lashed out for Duo's throat,
and it was only a quick dodge by Duo that kept his
windpipe from being crushed.   

	"Man, you mean it!" Duo said.   "No more Mr. Nice
Guy!"  

	The first thing Duo needed to do was obvious- get the
knife away.   He knew Heero was ambidextrous, so
merely wounding his right hand wouldn't help.   His
eyes glanced around, wondering if there was shelter,
but he couldn't find any.   He was fast, but compared
to a pissed-off Yuy, not fast enough. He couldn't
run.... there was no place to hide, so....

	Duo launched himself forward, landing heavily on top
of Heero, and throwing them both to the floor roughly.
  The knife was sent flying off into the shadows, and
they listened for a second as it rebounded off the
cement floor with an unpleasant scraping sound.   

	They hit hard, yet somehow Heero ducked to avoid
getting a concussion or worse.   Duo's teeth were
jarred, but he grabbed Heero's head and smashed it
against the floor.   "If you're gonna fight, fight
like a man, dammit!"

	Heero, apparently unaffected by what to most people
would have been a serious injury, slugged him in the
gut, then in the face with what seemed like the same
motion, and Duo saw stars.  He flipped him over and
raised his fists, ready to maker Duo's face into pulp.

	Duo blinked, trying to figure a way to get out of his
unfortunate predicament.   Heero was sitting on his
chest, and there was no way he'd be able to get him
off... so he did the only thing he could think of....

	His long fingers reached up and started to tickle
Heero under the armpits.   Heero's eyes widened in
amazement, and he started to chuckle.   "Duo.... I'm
not ticklish."

	"It was worth a shot...." Duo grumbled, hoping Heero
was calming down.

	Heero surprised him with a grin, and then by helping
him to his feet.   "Wait a sec," he said, vanishing
into the shadows after the knife.

	"Not again...." Duo muttered, than walked over to
Deathscythe, patting its leg affectionately.  "All my
friends go nuts and homicidal on me," he muttered.

	Heero reappeared a minute later, tossing something at
Duo.   Before Duo could register it, his reflexes
kicked in, and he caught the small item.   

	It was his cross, with its chain still broken.

	"Just because the past hurts, doesn't mean we should
forget it.  It makes us who we are."  He caressed the
flat of the knife he had retrieved as well.  "By the
same token, we shouldn't cling to it foolishly."  He
took a deep breath, clutched his ponytail tightly for
a second, then sawed threw it with three quick jerks.

	Duo blinked, and grabbed his braid.   "I'm leaving
mine alone!" he declared.

	Heero's expression could almost be described as
mischievous.  The raggedly cut hair hung around his
face messily, and Duo could see his friend in this
stranger.   "No one asked you to cut it- but for me,
it was time to let go of all the foolishness I've been
indulging in."  His voice grew softer, but more
determined then before.   "I'm a Gundam pilot, and I'm
needed right now. Ninmu ryoukai.  I promised to help
Wufei win the war, once and for all, and I keep my
word."  Heero stared at the sawed-off ponytail in his
hand, wondering if he could have it burned with
Atsuki's remains.   She should take the last of her
Wing with her, he thought to himself.

	Duo smiled at him, the first genuine smile he'd worn
since Ilene had died.   "Oi, Heero?"

	The Wing pilot turned his head.  "Yes?"

	"Tell me about Atsuki," Duo said, rather than asked.

	The air was still between them for about three
heartbeats both of them could hear.  "Sure.   But only
if you tell me about Ilene," Heero bargained.

	Duo's eyes lit, and Heero could almost hear an
audible click as they slid right back into their
friendship.   "There's nothing I'd rather do." 
Another pause, then Duo threw his arms around the
shorter pilot in a back-thumping hug, the one he
wanted to give Heero originally, almost knocking him
off his feet with enthusiasm.  

	"Welcome back, Heero."




~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~
Scene VII: Seasons of Love
"How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?"
Seasons of Love, Rent
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

	Hospital chairs were, by their very definition,
uncomfortable.   She supposed it was a subtle way to
discourage visitors from staying too long, and
encouraging worried family and friends to go home and
take a rest.   At least, that was the way she tried to
justify the stiff plastic chairs.   The other possible
explanation -that administrators really were just
sadists- wasn't one she wanted to dwell on.

	She yawned daintily before indulging in a good
stretch, smoothing her hands over the khaki shorts she
had paired with a peach blouse.   Her sandals had long
been kicked off, and the hair she had clipped back was
coming undone.  She had had it with hospital coffee,
but she'd been drinking almost nothing else ever since
learning Chris was here.

	They hadn't let her see him.   It was driving her
nuts.

	He'd been in ICU for the first three days, with a
concussion spinal trauma that left him paralyzed from
his hips down.   Even though the doctors could fix it
(unlike pre-Colony medicine), it was still serious
enough to warrant concern.  There could be
complications, his body could reject the regrowth
tissues the surgery installed... and even if it all
went well, he would be spending months in physical
therapy to relearn how to walk.   

	His parents had been there a day before she had
arrived.   It had taken two days for anyone to let her
know that Chris was on base, much less wounded.  She
had spent those hours grieving for the loss of her
best friend, and then had the trauma compounded by her
boyfriend -someone she wasn't even sure how she felt
about- was in the hospital.    Shinobu had wanted to
wait with her, but she had turned down his offer.  
She knew he had other things to do, things that she
really didn't want to know about, and she needed some
time by herself to think things through. 

	She went to see Shinobu on a break from her vigil on
the fourteenth, and had been shocked to find him
wounded and under siege.  She hadn't known what to do,
but she had instinctively thrown herself in front of
him to protect him.

	"Don't touch him!"

	The words still echoed in her memory.  They had come
without warning, and she'd confused herself sincerely
since them.  Aside from dropping Shinobu off at the
Emergency room and learning that it was only a
hairline fracture and with proper care, it would be as
good as new in about two weeks.  She'd been relieved,
kissed him on the cheek, and then vanished.

	Helena had been avoiding him since then.

	The nurse at desk, a pretty lieutenant with a
shocking cap of red hair, looked over at her and gave
her the gentle smile that she was beyond tired of.  
They had formed a mutual loathing of each other.  "I'm
glad to see you're awake, Ms. Rosenbaum.   Surgeon
Captain Simmons wanted to let you know that you have
permission to visit your friend now."

	She rose hastily to her feet, casting a cool look at
the serene-seeming nurse.  "And why didn't you wake
me?"

	The redhead's eyes widened melodramatically.  "You
haven't rested well in a while, and I didn't have the
heart to wake you."

	Helena's voice became even more icy.  "Thank you so
much for you concern."

	"It's the least I can do.   He's in room 332."

	She nodded and left, not deigning to continue the
verbal sparring.   

	The hospital smelt like every other hospital she'd
been in, a weird scent of sickness and antiseptic.  
The walls were a sea foam green, and she smiled as she
noticed the plants that had been placed in the
corners.   It was obvious a caring hand attended to
them, since the flowers bloomed beautifully, and the
leaves were glossy and healthy.

	Helena peeked in 334 before entering.   This would be
the first time that they'd let her see Chris, and she
was worried how he would react to her presence.   They
hadn't parted on the best of terms.      

	Chris's usually tanned skin seemed pale and
lackluster, and his hair stood out against the stark
whiteness of his pillows.   She looked at the IV that
was still imbedding in his forearm, and winced.   He
seemed to be staring out the window at the athletic
fields, and she winced again mentally.  Chris loved
outdoor pursuits, and they would be denied to him for
quite a while.

	"Hello," she said softly.

	He didn't seem startled by her sudden appearance.  
"They finally let you in"" he asked tiredly, turning
his head to examine her.

	She nodded.  "Can I come in?"

	"Sure."

	Helena grabbed the nearest chair to the bed, leaning
over so it was easier for him to see her face.  "I
didn't know you were here until two days after the
attack," she said apologetically.

	"I came to see Relena."

	"You met Queen Relena?" Helena asked in surprise.  
She'd seen the pretty young monarch on the news vids
quite often, but had never really seen her as a real
person.  Then again, she had never envisioned that a
Gundam pilot could be anything like Duo.

	"Yes.   I came to get her help with Duo... to stop
him from bringing the Gundams back..."

	She gasped.   "Chris!   That really wasn't any of
your business!"

	He shook his head.  "We all must work to do what we
see as right.   I didn't think the Gundams were
needed.... they are the very symbol of war and
hatred."

	Helena hesitated and picked at his sheets with her
fingernails.  "What did Queen Relena say?"

	Chris seemed to grow distant.  "She said that I
should trust Duo.  That war was wrong, but peace could
only be achieved when people wanted it.  She was
right- I should have trusted Duo."

	"So you think we did the right thing?" she asked
eagerly, hoping... praying....

	"No."   His answer was unequivocal.   

	She flinched.

	 He didn't seem to care.   "The Gundams are not
needed- they should be destroyed.   If you have a
weapon, you become tempted to use it."

	She nodded slowly.  "Yes, but if you don't defend
yourself, you end up hurting those you love... Shinobu
told me that."  Her voice softened slightly as she
mentioned the Asian boy, and Chris seemed to be
slightly startled, coming to a realization.   Helena
didn't noticed, though, and continued.   "Did you hear
about Ilene?" she asked.

	"I did.  Her parents and mine were friends."  Chris
seemed to become melancholy.  "I missed her funeral."

	"So did I.   Her parents didn't want me or Shin
there.  And if they could FIND him, they'd kill Duo in
cold blood."  She fidgeted nervously.  "They're
pulling their support for the Preventers, which is
really bad.   They were some of Lady Une's staunchest
allies in the World Nation... now, though...."

	She brushed away the tears that started to form in
her eyes.   "I just don't understand.   How could
Ilene become a terrorist?   Duo's falling apart, and
Shinobu-" she stopped, suddenly aware that wasn't her
secret to tell.  "I just don't know what to do
anymore.   Shinobu's been a great help, but I still
feel so alone," she said, resting sight on her shoes.

	Chris's eyes were gentle, surprisingly so. 
"Helena... it's okay," he said softly.

	"What?" she asked, wondering.   Life wasn't okay....
Shinobu was a gangster, Duo was a Gundam pilot, Chris
would be spending months in physical therapy, and...
Ilene was dead.  No matter if the other problems could
somehow find a happy resolution, Ilene's couldn't.  
Dead was forever.

	He reached over and let his fingers rest on her left
wrist for a second, caressing the soft ivory skin
gently.   "I know you don't love me anymore," he said
softly.   "It's okay...."

	She looked at him.  "I still love you!" she stated
fiercely.

	His eyes were still gentle, despite the sorrow in his
voice.  "I misspoke.   You love me, but you're not in
love with me anymore.   It's okay," he repeated for
the third time.

	She opened her mouth to deny it, but she couldn't
lie.   "I'm sorry," she said.   "I would change it if
I could."

	"I know."

	She gently brushed his brown hair back with her right
hand.  "What has happened to us?" she wondered.  She
looked into his beloved face, wondering why she wasn't
feeling the adoration or desire she used to feel in
the past.

	"We grew up," he whispered softly in reply. 
"Sometimes that means growing apart."   The couple
that most Cliffside students had believed were on the
fast-track towards matrimony sat in silence, realizing
they weren't together anymore.   Breaking up hurt, but
neither of them had to voice that their differences
were too much for them to overcome.  "Go to him,"
Chris said after a moment of companionable silence.

	"What?" Helena replied, sincerely confused.

	"He needs you now," Chris said.   "And I need to
sleep."

	"What?  Who?" Helena asked, feeling a guilty flush
rise in her cheeks.  She had a creeping feeling she
knew who Chris was talking about, but she still hadn't
admitted it to herself yet.   Chris had always seemed
to know what she was thinking before she did.  She
sometimes wondered if he was a Newtype.

	Chris released her wrist after giving it a tight
squeeze.   "Shinobu.  It's okay," he said for what
seemed to be the millionth time.

	Again, denial was her immediate instinct, but she
just... just had to speak the truth.   Chris deserved
the truth.   They all did- so many people had been
hurt by lies and secrets.  "I'm so sorry," she
whispered.   "I did love you, for what it's worth."

	"I know."  His eyes started to drift close.  "We'll
always be friends, though.   There's more then one
type of love...."Philios,  Eros, Agape," he said
softly.

	"Philios," she whispered back.   "Brotherly love..." 
 She kissed his brow, and wondered why things didn't
work out the way they should have.   "Each time we
love, we turn a nearer and a broader mark, to that
keen archer, Sorrow, and he strikes."

	Chris sighed softly and she waited a few moments for
his breathing to become slow and deep, a sign that
sleep had finally completely claimed him.  She watched
him rest silently for a few minutes before rising to
her feet to head on her way.  She paused at the
doorway, looking back.  "I didn't deserve you," she
said, then hurried out.

	The summer air was hot and humid, and she felt her
clothes stick to her skin as she hurried back to the
VOQ, which was finally allowing its guests to return. 
 She was relieved about that- she had been assigned to
share a room in the temporary shelter with two
Preventer airman, and despite the rotating sleep
schedules, she'd felt uncomfortable about having her
privacy invaded.   She took short, quick steps as she
ascended the ten white stairs outside the building.  

	The blast of air conditioning that hit her stunned
her for a second.  She faltered for a second before
turning right and heading to Shinobu's room. 

	Her soft knock was answered by a soft, "Douzo."  She
assumed it was permission to enter, so she swung the
door open.

	Shinobu was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling
thoughtfully.   His right arm was encased in a soft
plasti-cast.  "Dare da- oh, Helena," he said, shifting
to English, turning his head to look at the intruder.

	She shifted on her feet uncomfortably, wondering how
to begin a conversation with someone she'd been
avoiding for three days. "How's the arm?" she asked,
deciding to begin politely.   That question was safe.

	He pushed himself using his good arm, sitting so he
could look at her.   "Healing.  It itches quite
badly."  His shy smile peeked out at her, and she was
charmed.  It wasn't fair that he was so handsome. 
When he gave her that little boy smile, she was
tempted to cuddle with him.   At least it was better
then wanting to jump his bones...  Then he winked, and
she cursed the flush that came to her cheeks.

	"Chris and I broke up," she said finally.

	His eyes widened, but that was his only visible
reaction.   "Why?" he asked.

	"Because it was time," she answered.  "And because I
think I'm falling in love with you."

	What?" he whispered, looking like he was unsure if he
believed her.

	She looked at him with solemn eyes.  "I'm not sure
how it happened.   Maybe it happened at Cliffside,
when you listened to me after Chris left.   Maybe it
happened during the flight, when you told the truth. 
Maybe- I don't know.   All I know is that I think of
you constantly, and I'm drawn towards you."

	He made a fist.  "A few days ago I would have given
anything for you to say that, for you to look at me
and touch me gently.  Now..."  He punched the mattress
angrily.   "I'm not safe, Helena.  I won't have you
drawn into my world."

	"I'm not an innocent anymore!" she protested angrily.
  "If you don't want me, then deny me!   But if it's
fear that's keeping you away- then dammit, I'll follow
you until you learn that I'm serious!"

	Before she knew what was happening, Shinobu was
standing beside her, with his arms on her waist.  He
bent his head and kissed her hard, opening his mouth
and demanding she reciprocate.

	Shinobu's kiss sparked heat in her body, and she
found herself swaying in closer, her body melting
against his.   He wasn't that much taller then she
was, but she found that exciting.   Her arms wrapped
tightly around his neck, and she kissed him back.

	Minutes passed, and she lost track of how many kisses
they exchanged.   His kisses were hot and sweet, and
the taste of him danced on her lips.  She groaned
softly and let her hands wander down his back,
marveling at the subtle play of his muscles as he bent
down to trace the curve of her neck with his lips.  
It was amazingly sensual, and she felt her pulse
quicken.

	Kissing Shinobu wasn't like kissing Chris.   When she
and Chris had kissed, it had been a pleasant
affirmation of their feelings for each other, a
practiced exploration of their love.   Shinobu's
kisses heated her blood, caused her heart to pound,
enflamed passion and a sense of danger.   It was like
dancing around the element of fire- dangerous, yet
intoxicating.  Suddenly he seemed to halt, and she
pulled back, slightly surprised as he propelled
himself away from her using his good arm.  "Yamero,"
he said.

	"Huh?"

	"Stop," he said.   His eyes lingered longingly on her
face.  "This is not right.  I refuse to let you
rebound using me."

	Helena wondered how to frame the words that were in
her heart.   "Rebound?  That's not what this is..." 
She gestured for him to sit down on the bed, and he
did so, watching her carefully.

	It unnerved her slightly.  He seemed to be able to
pierce through her sold with those eyes.   Both of the
men in her life seemed to know her better then she
herself did!  It was somewhat annoying.   Why couldn't
they just be normal, self-obsessed, sex-obsessed
teenage male Neanderthals? she wondered.   It'd make
life so much easier...

	You wouldn't love them if they were, a small voice
whispered in the back of her mind, one she ruthlessly
squashed down on.  "Shinobu, I don't know if what we
feel for each other is real or not, but I'd like to
think it is. We've been through a lot together, and
that tends to bond people quickly.  I do know that I'm
not in love with Chris- I love him, but it's not the
same.   I'm not the same Helena Rosenbaum who was
Cliffside's darling.

	"Chris and I could have been very happy together,"
she admitted, "had none of this happened.   I would
have been a wonderful wife, balancing my career,
children, and social obligations, and Chris would have
made a wonderful father as he guarded his family
empire.  But... things have changed.   I've changed. 
I don't think I can live that life anymore.

	"It all seems awfully petty- corporate law, school,
worrying about fashion."   Her eyes lost their focus
and she seemed to shift her attention to something
seen only by the mind's eye.  "But that's what my life
was, and up until a month ago, I would have been
satisfied with it.   But not now.

	"I helped make a difference, Shinobu-kun.  I
helped... and it felt right.  It felt good... and it
felt like I've finally opened a door in a room that's
been shut too long.   I felt... free."

	Shinobu nodded, watching as she paced the room.   "It
could be an illusion," he said.   "Most society girls
your age start to feel rebellious."   

	Her blue eyes cut him with their intensity as she
spun to face him again.   :"It could," she snapped
back.   "But if it is, it's more real than anything
I've seen before.  I'm wrestling my way out of the
cotton people have always kept me wrapped in!  Reality
is setting in!"

He looked like he wanted to say something, but she
settled it by sitting down next to him and leaning in
close, catching his lips with her own to exchange
passionate, dizzying kisses that, for the moment,
helped both of them forget about anything except the other.

=====
"No matter what the bible says, the battle always goes to
the strong. And I am strong. I don't need to prove that to
anyone anymore."
-Excerpt from Sainan no Kekka- Act Seven, Scene VII

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