Cool. A KaraOhki fic! And so soon after 'A Kiss To The Victor' too. Let's 
take a look. 

Finding the Lost

by June "KaraOhki" Geraci
karaohki@snet.net
March 31, 2002


Tenchi doesn't belong to me, but to Hiroki Hayashi,
Masaki Kajishima, AIC and Pioneer.  Ranma 1/2
doesn't belong to me either, but to Rumiko
Takahashi.  This tale was written to make you
smile, not for commercial purposes.

 Haven't really watched Tenchi, but I think I know enough so that I can 
comment intelligently. 

--------------------

"Young lady, when I talk to you, look at me!"

Sasami raised her head for a moment, saw her

 Someone yelling at Sasami? Isn't that a sin comparable to yelling at Kasumi? 

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry, Papa."

"And well you should be!  First you 'borrow' my pet
without asking, and now you tell me she's lost?"

"Yes, Papa."

"How hard have you looked?"

Sasami sniffled.  "I looked hard, Papa!  But I
couldn't find her.  I think maybe--" the little
princess stopped to wipe her eyes and blow her nose
before continuing.  "I think maybe she died when
our ship crashed."

The king closed his eyes.  Azusa had been quite
fond of his pet ferret, and the thought that it
might have perished upset him a great deal.  When
he opened his eyes again his daughter had gone from
sniffles to full-blown hysterics.  He glanced
around to make sure no one was watching before
gathering her into his arms.  "Don't cry, dear.

  Hmmm... Don't know to much about this Azusa. What little I know indicates 
he's something of a mendacious fop... Which probably explains why he's 
yelling at little Sasami.

*****

"How does one go about locating a lost pet on this
planet?"

Tenchi gulped.  The last thing he expected was that
his great-grandfather would come to him for advice.
Fortunately, the answer was not difficult.
"Normally people hang up posters with pictures of
the lost pet.  Sometimes they offer a reward."

"Excellent!  I shall see to it immediately."

Azusa took Tenchi's advice to heart, and soon every
telephone pole in town was plastered with pictures
of the missing ferret.  What the young man was not
aware of was that the Emperor of Jurai never did
anything by halves.  He had also placed an
advertisement in every single newspaper in the
country.

  Heh. Does anyone in the Masaki household besides Tenchi not go to extremes? 

"I'm going to call her again, and if I get that
damn machine this time I'm going over there and
smashing it!"  The sounds of a phone being dialed
followed that muttered statement, and soon the
phone on the other end was picked up.

"Azusa, you're late!  Practice was supposed to
start--"

"Hello!  You've reached Azusa's house.  I'm very,
very busy right now, taking care of my little
Philomena.  Leave a message, and I'll call you back
later.  Bye!"

Mikado Sanzenin hung up the phone so hard that it
nearly fell off the wall, and grabbed his jacket.
Ever since Azusa had found her new pet, their
practice sessions had gone completely downhill.
Either she didn't show up, or she had that damned
thing with her.  It was time he did something about
it.

  You don't see these two very often, do you? Mikado seems tense. Maybe he 
should go find a fangirl or two to kiss. That should relax him.

As the angry young man headed for the exit to the
skating arena he passed a series of benches.
Someone had discarded a newspaper on one of them,
and it was opened to an advertisement.

"MISSING!  Reward!"  That normally wouldn't have
stopped him for a moment, considering how focused
he was on his mission, except for the picture that
accompanied the words.  It was a picture of the
bane of his existence:  

  Don't you love serendipity? 

*****

"You know where she is?  Wait a moment, let me get
a pen!  What's that address again?"  Azusa wrote
frantically for a moment, and then spoke again.
"I'll meet you there in five minutes, and once I
get her back you'll be rewarded.  Thank you so
much!"  He was out of the house so fast that the
windstorm he created ruined the hairdos of all the
women present.  Tenchi came flying down the stairs
and found Sasami dancing around the room.

"What's going on?"

"Papa found her!  He's going to get her right now!"

"What's he taking?  Not his ship?"

"But he's in a hurry, Tenchi!"

Tenchi sank to the floor, covering his face.  "Why

  The lengths one will go for an over-elongated rat... 

*****

Mikado took his time getting across town.  The
phone number he'd just dialed was not a local one,
so he wasn't at all worried about getting there
first.  As far as he was concerned, it would take a
lot longer than five minutes for the owner of the
ferret to arrive at Azusa's house, no matter how
sincere he sounded.

He was wrong.  When he arrived at the house, there
was pandemonium everywhere.  A strange vehicle was
parked in the middle of the street, causing traffic
to be hopelessly snarled.  The police were trying
to direct cars around the obstruction, and there

  Hey, for Anime Tokyo this is mundane. At least the ship didn't go blow up 
the Tokyo Tower or the Egg Dome or something. 

Sanzenin ignored it.  He was more interested in the
sounds of screaming coming from inside his
partner's house.

"No!  You can't take Philomena away!  Philomena
belongs to Azusa!"

"That's right!  She belongs to ME!"

"No!  

      This could be milked for more. I wish I was clever enough to suggest 
how though... 

*****

It took a few minutes for Mikado to figure out that
both of the claimants to the ferret were named
Azusa.  

It

took him even less time to realize that
'Philomena,' or whatever the dratted thing's name was,
belonged to the regal-looking gentleman who had
placed the ad in the paper.  The little animal was
sitting on the man's shoulder, rubbing her face
against his, and looking quite content.  

      
      Heh, after a few weeks with Azusa the ferret would probably be happy 
being saved by the ogre-witch Urase from Inu-Yasha. 

never behaved so nicely with Azusa, instead trying
to run off at any opportunity.  His partner had
several bite marks on her hands, received when she
squeezed the animal too hard.  

      Totally off-topic, but suddenly I got the image in my head of Azusa and 
Elmyra talking shop and complaining how ill-tempered and irascible their cute 
little fuzzies get...  Brrr.....

"I've had enough of this.  It's time to call in
some backup."  The male Azusa pulled some kind of
device from his pocket, and made a call.  "Kiyone?
I need your assistance here in retrieving an item
that belongs to me--a lost pet.  Here's the

      Adding gasoline to the bonfire I see...

*****

"Wait a moment, I don't have a pen!"

"Oh, I have one.  Just repeat it to me!"

Kiyone desperately reached for the pen in Mihoshi's
hand, but her featherbrained partner refused to
give it up, and she reluctantly repeated the
address to her.  "We'll be there shortly.  Don't
cause any trouble, sir!  Your presence on Earth is
supposed to be low-key!"

Kiyone slammed the phone down and ran outside.
Mihoshi was already starting the engines on their
cruiser.  "Let's go!" she cried.  "I know how to
get there!"

"Gods, we're in trouble again," muttered her
partner.

      Probably end up somewhere near Yuggoth, knowing Mioshi... but hey, 
dealing with hostile Mi-Go may be preferable to an upset Azusa-chan

Across town from the Shiratori residence, Akane was
not having a good day.  Ranma had promised to take
her out for ice cream, but everyone and everything
seemed to be conspiring to keep that from happening

Shampoo had arrived and followed Ranma all around
the yard, trying to get him to eat the 'special
lunch' she'd prepared for him.  Akane soon got tired of watching Ranma's
ineffectual attempts to rid himself of Shampoo, and finally took matters
into her own hands.
She splashed the girl with water, and punted the cat

      I LIKED this. From what I've seen from the mange Akane does not always 
swat Ranma when he's one of the other girls is courting him. Now if only 
others would follow your example.  

"How come YOU couldn't handle her?  Why did I have
to get rid of her?"

"DAMN IT, Akane!  What did you want me to do?"

"Just tell her to get lost!  How hard can that be?"

Ranma was trying to answer that question when Ryoga
came flying over the wall.  "Ranma!  How DARE you
flirt with Shampoo when you're supposed to be
taking Akane out!"

"Hey!  SHE was flirting with ME!  And what makes it
YOUR business?"

"Never mind that!  

      Subtle differentials are lost on Ryoga, I see. 

"I don't believe this," sighed Akane.  She retreated
to the porch to watch the two fight.  It was useless

      After thirty-eight volumes of comics and a bizillion fan fics you'd 
think the poor girl would be use to this by now... 

As she reached the porch a shadow blotted out the sun,
and seconds later something fell out of the sky and
landed in the pond, sending water everywhere.  Naturally,
Ranma changed. That was fine.  Akane had seen that
happen before.  

      It ain't gonna be Ryoga's day, is it? 

"R-r-r-ryoga?  P-p-p-chan?"  For a brief moment,
Akane swayed.  She thought she was going to faint.
Then anger took over.  "I'm going to KILL you, you pervert!"  

      I see that you are not in the 'Akane forgives Ryoga when she Finds Him 
Out' camp.

uprooted the stone lantern and was running toward the cowering pig when a
green-haired woman emerged from the vehicle in the pond and grabbed her.

"I'm sorry, but I can't allow that."

Ranma's jaw dropped.  Akane's jaw dropped.  Ryoga
ran for his life.

"What did you say?"

"I said I can't allow that.  Someone reported a
disturbance about a lost pet, but it looks to me
like you want to kill it.  Would you mind
explaining yourself?"

Akane's jaw moved, but nothing came out.  Ranma
took over.  "There's no lost pet here, Miss.  Are
you sure you're in the right place?"

By this time a second person had found her way out
of the cruiser.  Unfortunately, the blonde's way
out ended up with her landing face-first in the
pond.  She got up, trudged out, and handed a soggy
piece of paper to Ranma.  "This is where we are,
right?"

Ranma looked at the note.  "Nope, that's across
town."  

      Not too bad for Mihoshi. At least they're still in Japan. 

careful directions to Kiyone, who thanked her and
began to drag her partner back to the cruiser.  In
the meantime, Akane had overcome her inability to
speak.
"That, that pervert!"  Then she burst into tears
and threw herself into her fiance's arms, despite
the fact that he was female.  "I'm sorry!"

      Akane (light bulb going of over her head): Hey, waitaminute... you 
knew, didn't you?
      Ranma: Ah hell... 

      WHAM!!!

 
      [Snip]


      

*****

Azusa had gone from screaming to hitting.  She
began with the art book sitting on her coffee
table, and soon escalated to the brass candlesticks
from the mantelpiece.  Her victim was showing
remarkable restraint, evading her blows rather than
striking back.

"Young lady, my pet and I are leaving, and that is
all there is to say about it!"  He calmly backed
toward the door, being followed by the tiny,
furious woman.  Then the door flew open.

"Gal--police officers here!"  Mihoshi and Kiyone
inserted themselves between the Emperor and Azusa,
allowing him to leave the house.  Moments later,

      Ah, come on... Azusa-chan and Mihoshi have got to be worth a few lines 
at least... I also notice that Emperor Azusa didn't reward Mikado. Well, you 
know what they say about the gratitude of kings and princes. 

Azusa burst into tears.  "Give me back my darling
Philomena!  Thief, thief!"  She flew out of the
house, and stopped crying.  A look of joy replaced
the tears.  Something was crawling out of the
vehicle that the police officers had arrived in.
Something that she hadn't seen in a long, long
time.

"CHARLOTTE!"

Ryoga groaned.  Perhaps he should have allowed
Akane to kill him.

      Nope, not Ryoga's day at all. But at least Azusa won't have to worry 
about THIS Charlotte getting too big after being washed with hot water. I 
hear her family is still re-paying that construction company after Godzilla 
got through with her house.

      Don't know how constructive (or amusing) you found this. C&C isn't my 
strength here (of course, some on the list would probably argue I have no 
strengths). Anyway, I found it to be a good chuckle. I don't know if you can 
add to the story without hurting its smooth flow, but it may be worth an 
experiment or two. 

      Looking forward to the next Change of Scene or TTT. 

Jeremy Harper 

Sic pereant omnes inimici tui, Domine

Thus perish all your enemies O Lord





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