----- Original Message -----
From: "Miller, Bert" <Bert.Miller@unisys.com>
To: "'KaraOhki'" <karaohki@snet.net>; <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Wednesday, April 03, 2002 10:58 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic][Tenchi/Ranma]Finding the Lost

I enjoyed this.  Very nice read for a quickfic.

Thank you.  It was meant to be light and fluffy and easy to digest.

"And well you should be!  First you 'borrow' my pet
without asking, and now you tell me she's lost?"

"Yes, Papa."

"How hard have you looked?"

Sasami sniffled.  "I looked hard, Papa!  But I
couldn't find her.  I think maybe--" the little
princess stopped to wipe her eyes and blow her nose
before continuing.  "I think maybe she died when
our ship crashed."

The king closed his eyes.  Azusa had been quite
fond of his pet ferret,

Nice to see somebody remembers that long animal
with the tongue on Sasami's shoulder from Tenchi
OAV #2.

OTOH, the emperor's pet has been missing for 700
years, and he's now just noticing?

Oh, he noticed...it just took him an awfully long time to catch up to his
wandering children.

Azusa took Tenchi's advice to heart, and soon every
telephone pole in town was plastered with pictures
of the missing ferret.  What the young man was not
aware of was that the Emperor of Jurai never did
anything by halves.  He had also placed an
advertisement in every single newspaper in the
country.

I expected every telephone pole in the country.

*smile*

"Hello!  You've reached Azusa's house.  I'm very,
very busy right now, taking care of my little
Philomena.  Leave a message, and I'll call you back
later.  Bye!"

I got it here, more or less.  Heh.

You were meant to.

"Wait a moment, I don't have a pen!"

"Oh, I have one.  Just repeat it to me!"

Kiyone desperately reached for the pen in Mihoshi's
hand, but her featherbrained partner refused to
give it up, and she reluctantly repeated the

Another Tenchi nit:  canonical OAV Mihoshi can repeat
everything she's heard word for word.  The humor is in
her inability to deduce anything from what she's heard.
Suggest minor change here:  Kiyone gets something wrong
in repeating, Azusa hears and corrects, Kiyone corrects
to Mihoshi, but Mihoshi doesn't realize it's a correction;
she thinks it's part of the address.  Something like:

"I have the address right here," Mihoshi chirped.  "It's
'21B oh-wait-a-minute-that's-not-right-221B-Baker Street,
in Nerima."

I don't recall that.  Interesting thought, but as I said, this is a light
and fluffy one, so it's not meant to make people think too hard.

Across town from the Shiratori residence, Akane was
not having a good day.  Ranma had promised to take
her out for ice cream, but everyone and everything
seemed to be conspiring to keep that from happening

needs a period

Fixing!  Thanks

As she reached the porch a shadow blotted out the sun,
and seconds later something fell out of the sky and
landed in the pond, sending water everywhere.

MihoKiyo's ship fits into the Tendo koi pond?

(Just keep repeating:  accept-it-for-the-sake-of-the-story,
accept-it-for-the-sake-of-the-story.)

Thank you thank you thank you

However, she had never seen it happen to Ryoga.

Heh.  Somehow figures that it would take Mihoshi to actually
get Akane to see the transformation.

Yup!

"Look, I gotta thank you.  You guys just did me a
BIG favor with that splash landing."

The confused officers got into their cruiser and
took off, Kiyone at the controls.  Kiyone kept
shaking her head as she flew the craft, and
muttering to herself.  "She did something RIGHT?
That's simply not possible."

Actually, it's typical for OAV Mihoshi.  She does
the right things in extremely roundabout fashion.
TV Mihoshi, OTOH, _is_ a complete incompetent.

So you're using an OAV Mihoshi, with a TV Kiyone's
understanding of her partner.  Amusing enough at
first read, but the more you think about it the
less sense it makes.

I repeat.  Don't think...don't think

Azusa burst into tears.  "Give me back my darling
Philomena!  Thief, thief!"  She flew out of the
house, and stopped crying.  A look of joy replaced
the tears.  Something was crawling out of the
vehicle that the police officers had arrived in.
Something that she hadn't seen in a long, long
time.

"CHARLOTTE!"

Ryoga groaned.  Perhaps he should have allowed
Akane to kill him.

heh.


Anyway, for a one-hour fic, this was quite good
and very entertaining.  I'm not sure fixing it
for more accurate Tenchi OAV canonicity or more
plausible ship sizes is really worth your time,
as in a few places that would necessitate real work.

Oh, I enjoy working, but I think this one can stand as it is.  My memory
of Tenchi is rather sketchy.  Guess I'll have to watch it again.

Thanks a lot for your comments!

June



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