*Warning: contrived coincidences will appear at almost
random*

Seven Omiais in One Day

   "Okay," Urd said.  "First I 'rewarded' those three,
did you know that one of them is half-demon?  Wait of
course you knew, you probably read the file.  Anyway,
then I kissed the next one just to keep h..uh...her
from asking anymore questions.  Then came that other
girl I decided to help out a little with sexuality
issues..."
   "Oh my," Belldandy said, blushing red.  Skuld and
Keiichi stared at Urd, blinking.
   "And then I met Kodachi at the bar and got drunk,"
Urd said.  "Actually...she's half-demon too...strange
that there would be two unrelated half-demons in the
same place.  Then again, with all the mortal powers
there..."
   "You made out with six different people," Keiichi
said, interrupting her.  "In one day?"
   "And you didn't know they were the people you were
looking for?" Skuld asked, she really didn't know any
longer whether she could continue to be amused or
embarrassed about her sister.
   "Well, I didn't have time for any REAL fun," Urd
said, producing a series of differing reactions from
the other three.  Belldandy blushed deeper, Keiichi
twitched and Skuld looked green.  "I had work to do
after all.  Hmmm, nice bunch though, I could
definitely stand to be around them for a while.  Kinda
glad it worked out that way."
   "Hmmm," Belldandy said, calming herself down. 
"Sounds like quite a lot of coincidences.  Meeting
them all like that and deciding you like them before
you knew who they were."
   "Yeah, weird, huh?" Urd said, still concentrating
on the main problem.  As such she completely missed
the implication of the Ultimate Force being at work.
   "How did you 'help' the one girl?" Skuld asked. 
Urd turned to her and blinked, looking confused.
   "The one with sexuality issues," Keiichi said.
   "Ohhh! Her," Urd said, then she waved her hand a
little dismissively.  "Gave her one of my kisses with
a tiny spell on it."
   "URD!" Belldandy gasped indignantly.
   "Oh it was just a little spell," Urd said.  "It's
just meant to release a little of what she's been
repressing."  She paused a moment and considered. 
"The effect WILL be stronger proportional to how
repressed she is or was and how much she tries to
continue to repress anything.  And it'll reach its
peak by sunset and be worn off before sunrise.  Ten to
one she barely notices anything beyond a couple of
extra-vivid daydreams.  How repressed and stubborn
could she possibly be?"

*******

   "I promise, she said," Akane muttered irritably. 
"No magic, right."  She had apparently forgotten that
the exact wording of said promise.
   This day was not turning out to be a good day.  She
sighed and tried not to catch sight of anybody while
waiting for the next boring instructor.  The lessons
were proving to be quite adaquate distractions.
   "Hey, Akane," somebody said.  Caught a little off
guard in her ruminitions, Akane's habit took over and
she turned around to look towards the voice. 
Instantly she saw Ranma looking at her with a rather
concerned look on his face.  "Are you okay?"
   "I'm fine," Akane said dreamily.  "Why do you ask?"
   "You just look a little annoyed or something,"
Ranma said.
   "Oh, I'm just a little distracted is all," Akane
said.  "Maybe...longing a little."
   "Hey, maybe I can do something to help, you know?"
Ranma asked.
   "Oh just get over here and kiss me already," Akane
said, still speaking as if half in a dream and very
happy.
   "All right," Ranma said and then, in front of
everyone her handsome fiancee swooped her up kissed
her passionately.  Holding her in his rough, strong,
yet gentle hands....
   "Akane, you're scaring me," Ranma's voice said out
of nowhere.  
   Akane blinked and suddenly realized she was staring
at Ranma, who was still in his desk, with a rather
blank, almost drooling, expression.
   "AARRRGGG!!" Akane roared and pulled her eyes away
from Ranma.  "I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!"
   "Okay," Ranma said wondering if he could inch away
from Akane a little further.  She was really acting
unstable today.  If she found out about that woman
yesterday he was in real trouble.
   Ukyou walked back in from going to the restroom,
just missing that display, and sat down in her
customary spot.  Strangely enough she seemed just as
distracted as Akane about something.  She sighed and
turned to where Akane was investigating the ceiling
tiles.
   "Akane can I talk to you alone for a moment?" Ukyou
asked.
   "I'm not sure now is such a good time, Ukyou,"
Akane said, still looking at the tiles and trying NOT
to imagine what Ukyou looked like.
   "We got eight minutes yet," Ukyou said.  "This
won't take long, and it's important.  And I can't talk
to him about it..."
   "Hey, what's wrong with me?" Ranma asked, Ukyou
produced a rather embarrassed look and turned back to
Akane.
   "Err...fine," Akane said reluctantly.  "What do you
need to talk about?"
   "Not here," Ukyou said, wondering why Akane wasn't
looking at anyone.  "Just...umm...let's go somewhere
more private."  Akane twitched, or maybe shivered.
   "Err...lead the way," Akane said glancing around.  

*******

   After following Ukyou, and bumping into a few
things on the way by virtue of not watching where she
was going, Akane reached the girl's restroom with her
friend and rival.
   "Akane," Ukyou said hesitantly.  "Could you look at
me?"
   "Not a good idea," Akane said.
   "Oh please," Ukyou said.  "I don't look THAT bad do
I?"
   "What?" Akane snapped, surprised and whipped about
to look at Ukyou.  "What do you mean look bad?  You
look great."
   "Yeah," Ukyou said.  "I'm cute, but do I look like
a cute guy, or a cute girl?"
   "You're very beautiful, Ukyou," Akane said with a
smirk.  "Any boy would be a fool to not recognize your
beauty."
   "Oh Akane, thank you," Ukyou said.  "But really how
can you be sure, you're not a boy."  Akane reached out
with a smile to grab the convenient bucket of
nannichuan water next to her.
   "Well," Akane-otoko said rakishly.  "I can give you
some proof."  He leaned in and kissed the surprised
Ukyou passionately slowly guiding her down to the
floor and thankful that he thought to lock the door on
the way in.
   "Oh, Akane-kun," Ukyou gasped.  "Make me a woman!"
   "My pleasure, Ucchan," Akane said, smirking
roguishly as he...
   "Akane...why are you looking at me like?" Ukyou's
voice asked.  
   Akane blinked and shook out her head, quickly
coming back to reality.  
   Again.
   "What...I mean," Akane stuttered.  "ARRRGGG!!! I
told you this was a bad idea!" Then she was running
out of the room.
   "Err..." Ukyou said.  "What was that about?"

*******

   "What's wrong with you today?" Yuka asked as Akane
came back into the room looking out of breath.  Akane
didn't look at her as she felt her way back to her
desk.
   "Nothing," Akane said.  "Nothing's wrong."  
   Behind her a very confused looking Ukyou came in
and sat down.  Then finally the teacher walked in. 
Akane breathed a sigh of relief and turned to look
forward to the lecture space.  She almost choked for a
moment.
   ~Oh no,~ Akane thought.  ~I forgot about her?"
   "Good morning class," the adult form Hinako said
cooly.  "I'll begin class in a moment, but
first...Tendo-san, can I see you in my office for a
moment."  Hinako-sensei produced a riding crop out of
nowhere...

*******

   Shampoo paced about her room anxiously.  She didn't
know what to think about the events yesterday
afternoon.
   That woman had felt her up and then had KISSED her.
 In a village where woman outnumbered men five to one
this wasn't exactly unheard of, especially when they
shared a husband with a third (or fourth, or, rarely,
fifth) woman.  Still Shampoo hadn't quite expected her
to enjoy the sensation so thoroughly.
   That fact had opened some...interesting
possibilities however.  For one thing, she was
beginning to work herself toward being tolerant of the
idea of sharing Ranma, though it rankled that warrior
such as herself would have to share.  On the other
hand...
   Shampoo glanced to the two gallon plastic tub that
she sometimes carried her drinking water in when she
went to go train.  Cologne didn't even know she had
that.  At least Shampoo didn't think she knew. 
Certainly Ryouga, Ranma and Mousse didn't know, or
they'd be clamoring over each other to get it.
   The tub and its contents were her ace in the hole. 
It was plenty of water to cure Ranma, his father,
Ryouga and even Mousse.  Shampoo was planning to
present it as a surprise gift when her husband finally
accepted her.  Barring that, she could always use it
as a bribe for all four of the males.
   One way or another, Shampoo was beginning to think
that maybe it was time to use that water.  She frowned
and tapped her feet.  This was going to take a little
bit of thinking.
   She snapped up the sealed tub and a wad of yen to
buy some sport drink on her way out.  Then she tramped
downstairs, obstensibly to enjoy her day off.
   "Shampoo going to train," she called out on her way
through the main room.
   "Wait Shampoo," Mousse said.  "I'll go with you to
he...owww!  What was that for you withered old
monkey?"  Cologne whacked Mousse a second time.
   "Shampoo has the day off," Cologne said.  "You do
not, Mr. Part-Time, now get to  work."  She ignored
the grumbling boy as she turned to regard where her
granddaughter had vanished.  Shampoo was hiding
something from her, she only hoped it wouldn't be
anything too bad.

*******

   There was one good thing about her assignment
though.  The cover story was VERY easy to make without
lying.  Judging by what she had seen in the file she
had finally read, the bounds of plausibility in this
neighborhood had been stretched beyond all
conceptions.  
   Urd figured she could tell them that she was the
space pirate daughter of a prime goddess here to marry
the boy that she had watched grow up through most of
his life after being imprisoned by his grandfather for
attacking their home planet.
   "Naww..." Urd said as she knocked on the door. 
"Who would believe that."

*******

   Ryoko sneezed.

*******

   "Hello, can I help you?" Kasumi said as she opened
the door.  The person on the other side, a tall,
tanned gaijin woman with interesting taste in clothes
backpedaled a couple of steps in surprise.  "Oh my,
did I startle you?"
   "Errr, this is the Tendo Dojo, right?" the woman
asked.
   "Why, yes it is," Kasumi said, blinking in
confusion at the woman and her behavior.
   "I think I need to speak to a Soun Tendo and a
Genma Saotome..." Urd said, trying to decide if this
was Bell playing a joke or just a really strange
coincidence.  Kasumi blinked.
   "Oh, certainly," she said, sounding vaguely
cautious now.  "Please, come right in."
   "Thanks," Urd said, looking at Kasumi curiously.
   "Father," Kasumi called out.  "You and Saotome-san
have visitors!"
   "What is that Kasumi?" Soun asked as Kasumi led Urd
into the tea room.  As usual the two men were playing
shogi.
   "I shall prepare some tea," Kasumi said.  "Do try
to be polite."
   "Is there something wrong with my daughter?" Soun
asked, noting Urd's confused look as Kasumi walked out
of the room.
   "She's almost the spitting image of my sister," Urd
said faintly.  "Voice, personality...everything."
   "You mean there are two such women in the world?"
Genma asked, blinking.
   "Errr, back to business," Urd said turning back
around.
   "What business is that?" Soun asked.
   "Well, I find myself in a rather confusing and
difficult situation," Urd said.  "And this is just the
first place I have to stop by."
   "What kind of confusing situation would that be?"
Soun asked.
   "My father has an...interesting sense of humor,"
Urd said.  "I get the feeling he's trying to make a
point with this."
   "Excuse me," Genma said.  "Who is your father?"
   "I'm sorry," Urd said, dodging the question.  "I
forgot to introduce myself.  I'm Urd Wodendottir."  
   It wasn't nearly an accurate name, the Norns were
all three older than Odin.  In fact, they had advised
him on his original rise to power, but it was a much
more obscure name than, say, "Godsdottir."
   "Wodendottir," Soun said.  "Is that a name you are
familiar with?"
   "Not I Tendo," Genma said.  Then they turned to
look at Urd.  "You wouldn't be..."
   "I AM engaged to your children," Urd interrupted. 
"Yes."  Genma and Soun irked then stood up roaring in
Urd's face.
   "HOW did THAT happen?" they both roared.
   "Well, let's see," Urd said calmly.  "First there
was this man that was a little lacking in money so he
sold my father this wedding contract with one Ranma
Saotome."  
   It was true, the man had swore that he'd burn the
thing in offering if he had a stroke of good luck, and
he had.  
   "And then this other guy from some side branch of
the Picolette family tossed his off on us after
hearing about the contract with another branch getting
nullified."  
   Also true, though the exact words as he destroyed
the paper had been "let God sort it out."  
   Urd produced the documents in question, however, as
she spoke.  There were notations to the effect that
they had been sold to the Wodendottir family.
   "Well," Soun said.  "I'm sorry to say that I can't
provide you a husband.  I only have daughters."
   "Not a problem, it actually makes it easier," Urd
said.  Suddenly they were speaking to a well-built,
rougishly handsome gaijin man, and the feminine robes
had become something just as stylish, but more suiting
a male.  "My family knows a lot about magic, and
well...two bodies...two identities...two marriages. 
If it were just a matter of you two, this would be
comparatively easy."
   Meanwhile, Genma had toned out as wheels started
rolling in his head.
   "Bu...bu...bu..." Soun sputtered as Urd returned to
her natural form.
   "Now, this was just a polite visit to inform you of
the situation," Urd said as Kasumi brought in tea.
   "Here's the tea," Kasumi said.
   "Oh, thanks, Belldandy," Urd said, she twitched. 
"I'm sorry...Kasumi...you just look so much like my
sister."
   "Yes, I heard," Kasumi says.  "Do you really mean
to marry one of us?"
   "Well," Urd said, feeling uncomfortable at the idea
of any sort of relationship with the Belldandy
lookalike.  "Not you!  I mean...that just would
be...weird..."
   "Oh," Kasumi said, obviously relieved.  "I suppose
marrying someone exactly like your sister would
be...odd."  Genma and Soun were still incapacitated in
differing manners.
   "You could say that," Urd said drinking her tea
down quickly.  ~Must get away and beat head clear of
that image.~ "Now, I have to go find the other people
I have business with and then find a way to sort out
this mess."  ~Better to say it that way, if I say flat
out I mean to marry all of them...bwuhaha...yadda
yadda yadda.  Well...they'd probably toss me out of
the place.~
   "Oh, what other people?" Kasumi asked.
   "Umm, Ukyou Kuonji, Ryouga Hibiki, Kodachi Kuno
and..." Urd thought for a moment.  "Someone named
Shampoo."
   "Oh dear," Kasumi said.  "You're engaged to all of
them?"
   "I said this was a mess," Urd said, getting a
little more comfortable now that she was leaving the
building.  Well, next time she would be prepared for
that and wouldn't let it get to her.
   "You're not staying to meet my sisters or Ranma?"
Kasumi asked.
   "I'll be by later," Urd said upon leaving the
building.

*******

   "Okay," Urd tapped her foot.  "Ukyou Kuonji, still
in school...Ryouga Hibiki...don't know where he
is...Kodachi Kuno," a grin spread across Urd's face. 
"I'm saving her for tonight...and that just leaves
the..." Urd looked up at the Nekohanten sign and took
a deep breath before striding into the restaurant. 
"Amazons."
   "Yes," Mousse said irritably and then continued in
slow Japanese for the obvious Westerner.  "May I help
you?"
   "Actually," Urd said.  "I was looking for a girl
named Shampoo."
   "She's out for the moment," Cologne said, sensing
the power of the woman in her building.  ~She's more
powerful than son-in-law, more powerful than
me...quite a bit more.  And her chi...is not quite
like chi.~  "May I help you?"
   "You're her great-grandmother, right?" Urd asked. 
"Cologne I believe."
   "That is me," Cologne said cautiously.  "How might
I help you?"
   "Well," Urd said sitting down and lounging
comfortably.  "I believe that I'm engaged to her."
   "WHAT!!!!" Mousse demanded.  Urd looked at him
funny for a moment.
   "What's he complaining about?" Urd asked. 
"Assuming he ever got her to look at him more than
sideways he'd get two girls instead of one."
   "Mousse has objections to sharing," Cologne said. 
"He is very Japanese that way.  And you seem to know
an awful lot about his situation and our ways. 
Perhaps you could tell me who you are and how you came
to be engaged to my daughter?"
   "My name is Urd Wodendottir," Urd said.  Cologne's
eyebrow arched a little.  "And as to how I came by
this engagement.  Well, my father made a deal with her
mother."
   Urd suddenly produced an intricately engraved
scroll case sealed shut to be almost seemless. 
Cologne gasped on seeing that.
   "The Raven's Message Case," Cologne gasped.  "That
artifact was lost long ago in a battle with demons
from hell."
   "I don't really understand, why," Urd said.  "All
it does is refuse to open until the person the message
inside is meant for tries to open.  It's not the most
impressive magic I've seen."
   "No, that is true," Cologne said.  ~A sorceress, I
see, that would explain the power, perhaps.~  "I was
merely impressed that you had it."
   "I don't know the exact wording on the message
inside," Urd said, handing the scroll case over to
Cologne.  "It might not open for you."
   Cologne nodded in understanding and examined the
canister for a moment before finding a small chink on
one end.  Before she could do more than notice that,
the chink had grown to a straight line crack and
continued through until the scroll case split open.
   "It appears the author did include my name on the
message," Cologne said.  She looked to Urd again and
examined her.  ~There is a touch of demon about her,
that must be what is different, she is a descendant of
demons, maybe a close descendant.  But she doesn't
feel as threatening as most half-demons do.  In fact,
not threatening at all, more...comfortable.  Curious.~
   "Guess so," Urd said.  She began to stand up. 
"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have other people I must
see."
   "You are not planning to remain and meet my
granddaughter?" Cologne asked, confused.
   "I met her once already," Urd said with a smirk. 
"I didn't know who she was at the time, though, nice
girl.  In all the right ways."  Urd smirked as Mousse
blanched and sputtered trying to come up with a
response.  "Anyway, I still have to talk to three
people, I have to get all the notices out before I
work out how to fix the problems."
   "Before you leave," Cologne said.  "You have no
problems with marrying my granddaughter?"
   "To tell you the truth," Urd said.  "I'm obligated
to marry about six people, that's the mess.  So I'll
have to see what I can work out.  Anyway, you're tribe
just might gain a powerful ally if this works out. 
Too-do-loo!"  She twisted her hand and sashayed out
the door.
   Cologne rolled open the scroll and almost face
faulted, despite being seated.  It wasn't everyday you
got a letter from someone that began this one did.
   "Dear Grandmother, how are things since I died? 
Things up here are wonderful, I spar with the
Valkyries everyday.  I'm going to try and get a spot
with them when the next tournament runs this year. 
The rest of our family keeps asking me when I think
you'll finally be coming up to join us.  Most of THEM
are already Valkyries...well...except Purfume...you
just KNOW what she's like, and..."
   "You know," Cologne muttered as she continued
reading the ranting letter.  "Letting Silk correspond
with that American girl was probably a bad idea."  
   Still, as Cologne read on, a broad smile began to
stretch over her face.  If this letter was the genuine
article, then that meant the bearing was much more
than a mere sorceress.  And if she was willing to a
marriage, it would certainly make the tribe much more
powerful indeed.

*******

   ~Schools almost over,~ Akane thought happily. 
~Almost over.~  
   She was currently trying to get showered and
dressed after gym, without looking at anyone or
raising any more suspicion.  She had adopted the habit
of staring at the floor by now.  
   Gym had certainly been hell though.  Just thinking
about the boys running through their gymnastics class.
 Or the girls in those tight...
   "Hey, Akane," somebody said next to her.  Akane
turned to see Yuka, and a number of half-naked girls
behind her, holding a portion of chocolate pudding in
it's sealed plastic container.  "I brought an extra
pudding today by accident, do you want it?  That lunch
actually stuffed me for once."
   "Sure Yuka," Akane said cheerfully.  "It would be
shame to waste it after all."  
   She reached to accept the pudding when suddenly
Yuka seemed to trip and the pudding container flew
through the air and landed on Akane's heading,
virtually exploding as a thick covering of chocolate
covered her naked body and quickly hardened.
   "Oh no!" Yuka gasped.  "She'll suffocate in there,
we have to help her out."  She turned back to the
other girls in the locker room.
   "Yeah," some girl said.  "And it would be a shame
to waste all that chocolate too."
   "Guys," Akane tried to say nervously from inside
the chocolate, though the sound seemed unable to reach
outside the chocolate statues.  "What are you doing?"
   Then the girls started swarming over her chocolate
encased form and eating and licking, and.
   "Ohhh, stop that," Akane gasped as fingers and
tongues quickly began to work they way to her flesh. 
"Sss...ohh..."
   "Hey, you've got to try her breasts," some girl
said.  "Mmmm...Chocolate milk."
   "Ahhh, honey covered cherries," somebody else said,
from quite a bit lower.
   "Hey, I want a piece of her ass..."
   "So are you going to take it or not?" Yuka asked,
getting nervous at the sudden pleasantly, smuggly
blank look that had just passed over Akane's face.
   "Sure, Yuka," Akane said dreamily, eyes finally
half focused on her.  "It would be a shame to waste
it, wouldn't it?"
   "That's certainly right," Yuka said, placing the
pudding box in Akane's outstretched hand.  "See later,
Akane."  Then Yuka was walking away, not noticing the
vaguely disappointed look on Akane's face.
   Thankfully for Akane, most people were gone when
she realized that she had just had a VERY weird
sex-dream, and then had actually hoped for it to
happen in real life.  The response she gave
was...vocal to say the least.
   "ARRRRRGGGGHHH!!" Akane roared, before attempting
one of Ranma's maneuvers and banging her head into the
lockers.
   Then she devoured the pudding and headed out the
door.

*******

   "Why aren't you looking at me?" Ranma asked.
   "No reason," Akane said, blushing as she walked
along.
   "You've been acting weird all day," Ranma said.
   "Nothing happened!!" Akane snapped desparately.
   "Gee," Ranma said.  "You sound like me whenever I
get glomped or something."  Akane blushed deeper and
clenched her fists tight.  She'd have to LOOK at him
if she wanted to him, and see those beautiful deep
eyes staring back into hers as if they were a whole
universe lonely and apart seeking the perfect match in
a great...
   "Ahh, behold," Kuno said as he sprang out in front
of them.  Akane's eyes twitched as Kuno ruined the
first tolerable fantasy she had had all day.  "The
beautiful Akane must be growing free of the spell
about her, for she cannot bear to look at your foul
visage, Saotome..."
   "DRY UP AND DIE!!!" Akane growled, launching
forward and sending Kuno into LEO.  
   Ranma, frozen in mid sarcastic comment, sat there
and watched as Kuno dwindled to a shiny spot in the
distance.  Akane huffed angrily, grumbling and then
blinked.
   "I wonder why I didn't fantasize about him?" Akane
said to herself.  The phrase broke Ranma out of his
rapt admiration of Kuno's flight.  The idiot was going
to land Shinjuku in looked like.
   "Huh?" Ranma said.  "Fantasize about what?"
   "About finally managing to send Kuno that far,"
Akane said quickly.  "Yeah.  That's right."
   "Errr, okay," Ranma said.

*******

   "I wonder just what was in that letter anyway?" Urd
wondered.  
   She was just realizing she probably should have
checked over the prospective Valkyrie's letter for
anything Urd didn't want out.  Such as the fact that
this letter was written yesterday rather than ten
years ago, before she died.
   "It can't be too bad," Urd assured herself.  She
merely continued to lean against the building behind
her and waited for her next discussion to arrive.  She
wasn't particularly interested in being avoided,
however.  And to that effect she had placed an aura of
unnoticeablity around herself.
   Urd hated being unnoticed.
   "First that weird woman yesterday," Ukyou muttered
as she walked down the sidewalk.  "Then Akane was
acting weird.  It was almost like she was day dreaming
about something.  Something's going on in this town. 
I can smell it.  The weirdness factor just jumped
about twenty points..."
   "Well, you could say that," Urd said, letting the
spell around her drop with a sigh of release.
   "YOU!!" Ukyou snapped, turning to look at Urd
lounging next to her door not three feet away from
her.  "Where did YOU come from?  I should pound for
embarrassing me like that yesterday!  Half those
people think I'm sort of tomboy lesbian now!"
   "Did you enjoy the kiss?" Urd asked.  Ukyou's anger
seemed to trip over it's own feet as she blushed
brightly.
   "THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Ukyou snapped.  "I
mean...errr...NOOO!"
   "Right," Urd said.  "I understand perfectly.  If
it's any consolation, I DID think you were a guy when
I kissed you?"
   "So that means your not..." Ukyou's voice trailed
off.
   "Don't be so disappointed," Urd said.  Ukyou
started to bridle again.  "I go either way."  And
Ukyou flinched again.
   "Are you going to hang around out here much
longer?" Ukyou asked.  "Because I'd rather not get a
reputation if I can help it."
   "Actually," Urd said.  "There's the matter of an
engagement to discuss, and then I have to find
somebody else."
   "An engagement?" Ukyou repeated blinking.
   A few minutes later Ukyou was staring at Urd with a
rather annoyed expression.
   "You mean to tell me," Ukyou said.  "That my father
engaged me to some girl after I renounced my
femininity and then stole the dowry and vanished into
the teeming millions of Japan.  And you're the girl
I'm engaged too?"
   "Actually," Urd said.  "That family tracked your
records down and discovered that you were in fact
female and subsequently stuck my family with handling
it."
   Again...it was all true.  Urd was really beginning
to want to hurt most of the parents of her intendeds. 
Too bad she wasn't allowed too.
   "Well," Ukyou said.  "Sorry to disappoint you,
sugar.  I hope you have luck in your search for the
perfect man."
   "Heh," Urd said.  "Like I told Tendo and Saotome. 
Gender doesn't matter."  
   The man in front of Ukyou where the woman had been
almost sent her into one of the fantasies Akane had
been plagued with all day.  She shook off the effect
and warily watched as Urd shifted back to her female
form.
   "Besides," Urd said.  "The law still says you're a
man."
   "I've already got a...wait a minute," Ukyou said. 
"You talked to Soun and Genma?"
   "That's right, 'Sugar'," Urd said teasingly.  "You
ain't the only one I'm obliged to.  I'm just going
around telling everybody right now.  After that I'll
see about fixing the mess."
   "Err," Ukyou said.  "Who else are you engaged to?"
   "Ranma Saotome," Urd said, Ukyou rolled her eyes as
if that was a given.  "You, Akane Tendo, Shampoo
Daughter of Silk, Ryouga Hibiki, and Kodachi Kuno."  
   Ukyou had blanched upon hearing Shampoo's name, she
had gathered Akane would be there from the discussion
so far.  Then Ryouga was added and she almost had a
coronary.  By the time Kodachi was mentioned she
almost lost all higher brain function.
   "Any favorites?" Ukyou asked faintly.  Urd smirked
and pecked her on the lips.
   "I'll take the lot of you if I can find a way," she
said.  "But that's hard to imagine, isn't it?"
   "Yeah," Ukyou said.  "That is."

*******

   "Wait," Akane said.  "There's another fiancee and
she wants both me and Ranma?"  The absurdity of it was
keeping her from imagining the situation.
   "She is also engaged to Ukyou, Kodachi, Ryouga, and
Shampoo," Kasumi said.  "She didn't particularly say
that she wanted to go through with anything, just that
she was willing if she could work her way through the
mess."
   "Wait," Ranma said.  "How is SHE engaged to four
girls and two guys?"  Akane's eyes started to fade
out, not that anybody noticed in the face of bigger
problems.
   "Well, apparently she is capable of casting some
magic," Kasumi said.  Akane blinked and looked to
Kasumi, thankful that her sisters didn't trigger any
sort of fantasies.
   "Magic?" Akane asked.  "Like changing into a guy?"
   "Oh," Kasumi said.  "Yes.  She did that right in
front of us, without water like Ranma's curse."
   "Was she tall," Akane asked dreamily. 
"White-haired, dark, dark skin with a wonderful figure
and dressed in somewhat...risque clothes?"
   "Uhh..." Kasumi said.  "Yes.  You've met her?" 
Ranma looked to Akane and started to get scared again.
   "Uh huh," Akane said dreamily.  "And she wants to
marry ALL of us?"
   "Akane," Kasumi said.  "Are you all right?"
   "Yeah," Akane said.  "I'm just a little tired is
all.  And umm..." she fumbled for a moment.  "I didn't
shower as well as I should have in gym.  I think I'm
going to go soak for a while in the furo.  A long
while..."
   "She has just been TOO weird today," Nabiki said,
watching Akane head upstairs with a rather strange
grin on her face.
   "Wait a minute!" Ranma gasped.  "I recognize that
description too!  That's the lady that kissed the
three of us when we saved her!"
   "Would you mind repeating that Saotome?" Nabiki
asked.

*******

   Urd stepped into the house hesitantly and glanced
about looking for any sign of residents.  This was the
only line she really had on Ryouga at the moment. 
Granted she could find him through Yggdrasil, but she
really wanted to avoid popping out of a TV next to him
with this news.
   Then she felt it, a small tear in the dimensional
fabric that indicated one of a number of types of
teleportation.  Suddenly Urd shared the house with two
other people.
   The first was a red-haired (dyed red, the original
color seemed to be black) woman about thirty-five with
rather cute looking yellow horns sticking out of her
forehead.  She stood about five foot ten.  Her blood
red eyes blinked innocently several times as she
looked around the room and fiddled with the sword at
her side.  Over her chain mail armor was an incongrous
t-shirt from the Ruruoni Kenshin cartoon.  Her skin
was a dark tan that stretched the limits of Japanese
skin tone.
   The man stood about the same height and only a
little broader than the woman.  His hair was black and
red tiger striped, and his cat like eyes sat over a
flat nose and a mouth with sharp canines.  He was
dressed more practically in rather well worn
travelling attire.  Quite similar to his son actually.
   Almost as soon as they appeared in the world, both
inacted illusions of totally humanity.  Their inhuman
features quickly easing away.
   "Are we in the right place this time, Jiro?" the
woman asked.  "And what's that tingling feeling I'm
getting."
   "I think we're home, Aki, yeah," the man said
nervously.  "As for the tingling feeling, she's
standing behind you."
   "Oro?" the woman said curiously, slowly turning
about and then backpedalling quickly.  "A GODDESS!?! 
But..but...we're the good guys...aren't we?"
   "Hmmm," Urd said.  "His parents are both
half-demon.  Let's see, you look like you're half-oni,
and he looks like he's half-rakshasha.  Am I right? 
That explains why he looks so human, and the lost
problem. He must have inherited two conflicting ways
of sensing the world around him.  You know...I really
should read the case file over again."
   "Excuse me," the woman said, getting a little
backbone suddenly.  "Are you talking about our son?"
   "Well," Urd said.  "Yes, as a matter of fact I am."
   "Listen, Goddess," the man said.  "We don't work
with Hell, damn it we've even been getting chased
half-way across the universe collecting random
assorted pieces of magical junk for you people.  Don't
take anything out on our son just because..." Urd rose
a hand to forestall him.  Both half-demons gulped.
   "He's not in any trouble," Urd said.  "On the
contrary, I like him."
   "Huh?" Aki asked, blinking.
   "Put simply," Urd said.  "I'm here to formally
announce my intention to marry your son."
   "What?" Jiro asked.  "A goddess wants to marry our
son?"
   "Well," Urd said.  "Him and five other people. 
Assuming he agrees of course."  At that the Long-Lost
Hibikis fainted.

*******

   Getting the details straight to the Hibikis had
taken a little while, so, here she was, night falling
behind her, as she strode up to the Kuno mansion.
   "May I help you?" the voice on the intercom, some
sort of servant.
   "I'm hear to speak to Kodachi Kuno or her parents,"
Urd said.
   "Her father's at the school and her mother's been
missing for ages," the servant said.
   "How about her?" Kodachi asked.
   "She's not seeing anyone today," the woman said.
   "Just tell her that it turns out she's one of the
people I was looking for," Urd said.  "If she
remembers last night, she'll know what that means."
   "I shall deliver the message," the servant said
hesitantly.  Urd rolled her eyes impatiently and
commenced waiting.  It was a few minutes before
Kodachi appeared at the gate herself.
   "*I* am one of your betrotheds?" Kodachi said
curiously.
   "Turns out," Urd said smirking.  "Oh, and my sister
says that nothing happened last night."
   "Yes," Kodachi said.  "I'd come to that conclusion
myself, but I wasn't...you're honor rides on marrying
ME? and...who else?"
   "Well," Urd said with a smirk.  "Why don't we talk
about that inside."~Besides, I don't want you blurting
out the full story, what you know of it, to everybody
just yet.~
   "Of course," Kodachi said.  "It seems we have much
more to discuss than I previously assumed.  And this
is the wrong place to discuss such matters."  She
pushed a button and opened the gates.
   "Nice spread you have here, Dachi," Urd said as she
walked in.
   "My thanks, Urd-san," Kodachi said cautiously,
calculatingly.  "Perhaps we can even remedy yesterdays
lack."
   "Hmmm," Urd said.  "You think like I do."

=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" - 
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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