From: Brian Welch <bwelchz7@yahoo.com>
To: Fanfic ML <ffml@anifics.com>
Subject: [FFML] Re: [R.5/OMG]Marriage Wishes 1
Date: Wed, 10 Apr 2002 13:31:25 -0700 (PDT)
C&C may be ignored at your discretion, of course!

--- Thryth <thrythlind@yahoo.com> wrote:

**From the sick twisted and warped mind that brought
you, and is already righting another chapter of,
Family Trees....yet another spoof of typical
cliches*
   Urd took a moment to acclimate herself to her new
location before looking around.  Teleportation
always tended to leave her a little disoriented.  > Climbing out of 

those TVs often proved difficult and

painful.

Eh? Is this a reference to her kicking Keiichi when
she first appeared? She just couldn't see him because
she chose to emerge legs first. She can move through a
TV with amazing speed when she wants to.

Size doesn't really matter. She teleported
effortlessly through a camera the size of a lipstick
once. She isn't limited to TVs - in fact, no goddess
is limited to her "medium" other than by preference.

It varies.  Skuld could only teleport through _hot_
water when she first appeared.  Size didn't matter,
she could materialise out of a tea cup for instance,
but it had to be hot.  Later she developed to the
point where any water would do.

Urd relies on televisions for long range journeys,
but has demonstrated the ability to teleport
dirrectly (ie: without using an interface medium).

Likewise Beldandy shows a marked preference for
mirrors, though any reflective surface will do.  It
seems to be a matter of navigation - she was once able
to telepathically call Keiich, but was unable to
teleport to him until he flipped open the pocket
mirror on a set of car keys.

   Next time she recycled herself she hoped she
recycled to a less dangerous method of travel.  Like
fire or lightning or something.

Nah, Urd _choose_ the medium because she's fascinated
with watching it.  Soaps, sit coms, catoons, anything
.... she's a TV junky.

   "Oh yes, the doublet system," one demon said.
"You're Urd aren't you?  Which makes your double
Mara, right?"

Doublet pairings are unknown. That's the reason the
system works. Nobody knows who will die if they kill
someone. Nobody but Welsper and Belldandy, of course,
but that's a very special case.

There isn't even a one-to-one linking of every god
and demon.  The hostages are choosen at random as
children, linked in secret then made to forget.
It's that randomness and anominity that make it
work - demons and goddesses don't kill each other
to win their shareprice war, because they never know
if _they'll_ turn out to be the one linked to the
other.

   "Isn't Mara one step above us on the promotion
scale?" the one demon said.  "If she were to die who
would be promoted."
   "Maybe the demons that helped rid Hell of such an
active thorn in its side while at the same time
removing an incompetent with sympathies for the
enemy from its employ," the other demon said.

Hild would have the heads of any demons who tried such
a reckless thing.

Yes, with Hild bing both Urd's demon mother and CEO of
Hell, killing the Norn is _not_ a good career move for
any demon.  (Though it depends on how well known that
information is....)

   "Well, well," she said.  "This is a turn of
events.  I may not be able to kill you two without
repercussions, but mortals!  Now that's a different
story, isn't it?"

Actually, no, it wouldn't be.  The doublet system
make no distinctions.  The lives of a doublet pair
are linked, when one dies so does the other.

   "On the contrary," Urd said, smirking.  "It's
done on an hourly basis."  Akane glared at her.  "On
Earth, in Hell..."
   "Of course," Akane snapped at that.
   "And in heaven," Urd finished, deepening her
smirk.

And yet more common, if misguided, AMG cliches.

Heaven doesn't even have a word for "gay". It's
virtually unknown even as a concept there, given
Peorth's reaction to an imagined Tamiya/Keiichi
pairing. She considered it as a scientist might study
some weird new form of insect. In her words, "Is that
what the locals call gay?" Heaven in certainly not
monogamous, but given the reactions of Belldandy, Urd
and Peorth to homosexual innuendo it certainly is
straight.

Hell is likely straight too, if Mara's reaction to
Megumi's cry of "Rape!" is any indication.

Uhm... Sorry, I left my eleven foot pole at home.

   "And so I spent all day trying to find the five
of them," Urd said drunkenly to the girl next to her.
Just how the girl had gotten into the bar Urd
neither knew nor cared,

One might also wonder what Urd is doing in a bar as
well. It's something she never does canonically,
though it certainly is a well-used AMG cliche.

However, if it was a Karioki bar, that would be
different.

   "Hmph," Urd said.  "You only have one guy to
worry about.  I'm supposed to find four girls and two
guys, AND get them to love each other and me, AND find a
way to get all of us married to each other legally.

Why not just let the Ultimate Force take care of the
job?

Which it seems to.  Though the Ultimate Force works in
mysterious ways - well, maybe not so mysterious, as
Keiichi and Belldandy's 'terrible things will happen if
we stay apart too long' wasn't exactly suptle.


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