Precedents
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic
By Jim Miller
Rumiko Takahashi, Shogagukan, Kitty and Viz Communications own Ranma 1/2,
not me. That is to say, I don't own the characters; not that RT, S, K and
VC don't own me. Which isn't to say that they do own me, either. At
least, not yet.
C&C appreciated.
=======================
Cologne felt uncomfortable as she and Shampoo made their way through an
unfamiliar part of Tokyo. The concrete was hard under her stick and the
shadows seemed unnatural. The denizens of the area had ways and weapons
that not even 3000 years of Amazons could equal. Not that she would ever
admit it, of course.
The note that had lead them here had come the day before. Shampoo had
still been screaming and shouting after seeing the newspaper announcement
of the birth of Sakura Saotome to happy parents Ranma and Akane Saotome
when the note had arrived by special courier. It was short and to the
point. It had asked them both to come to a particular address in
Shibuya-Ku, Tokyo at eleven o'clock the next day. And it had been signed
Ranma Saotome.
As the two Amazons approached the appropriate address, a familiar figure
came forward to met them. While Cologne and Shampoo looked out of place in
the urban surroundings, Nabiki Tendo was clearly in her element. She was
wearing a well tailored business dress with skirt and carrying a leather
brief case. While Chinese women were like rats in a maze among the
towering concrete and glass buildings, Nabiki looked as comfortable as an
eel in her coral reef home.
"Thank you for coming. I am here as Ranma's agent, for obvious reasons,
to negotiate a settlement to your conflict on his behalf," Nabiki announced.
Shampoo looked ready to explode, but Cologne spoke first, "What do you
propose, child?" She thought it unlikely that the Tendo girl would have
any sort of serious proposal, but she needed to hear it before she could
figure out the plan behind it.
"I'll come right to the point. Joketsuzoku law states that Shampoo and
Ranma must marry because he defeated, correct?"
Cologne frowned, but nodded, "That is correct."
Nabiki continued, "I would like to remind you of the precedent of Ho
Tu-aks, who, after being defeated by an outsider male, decided not to kill
his wife and take him back to Joketsuzoku because it would orphan his young
daughter. She returned to the tribe without him, but carrying his child.
The council accepted that as sufficient to maintain honor. They reasoned
that she had fulfilled her 'marriage'," Nabiki made quotation marks
apparent by her tone, "and then 'divorced' him out of pity for his
daughter."
Cologne objected, "It was well known that she did not bear the outsider's
child, but that of her Joketsuzoku lover!"
Nabiki raised an eyebrow, "According the official village records, she
bore the outsider's daughter. Declaring her dishonored at this late date,
and therefore her daughter and descents as well, would invalidate the honor
of nearly half your village. Including Shampoo."
Shampoo was looking at Cologne in surprise, "Great-great-grandmother Ho
Tu-aks not dishonored!"
Cologne sighed, "You were not there to know the truth of it, girl. I was
but a child myself, then. I must admit that, officially, you are correct."
She frowned at Nabiki, "How did you come to know about that?"
Nabiki gave her a cool smile, "It isn't really important, but it won't
cost me anything to tell you. A young man from your village came to Japan
to study last year. I just happened to meet him."
Cologne covered her shock well, "Oh? I didn't know the council had
approved any males to leave the village to study."
"You have been a gone a long time now, Elder," Nabiki said soothingly.
"Now," she continued, "Will you also concede that if Shampoo conceives a
child of Ranma's, that Shampoo's honor will be satisfied and leave our
family alone?"
Cologne was so surprised that it showed on her face; she could see that
from the slight change in Nabiki's own expression. After Nabiki had
brought up the precedent of Ho Tu-aks she had expected her to suggest that
Shampoo follow her ancestor's example and lie to preserve her honor.
Especially after the court order that had forbidden either of them from
approaching the young Saotomes. Between Ranma and Akane's marriage, now
two years old, their new daughter, the court order and the ever increasing
bribes they needed to pay to divert the attention of the immigration
officials, she had begun to despair of succeeding in their bid to win Ranma
for Shampoo. This unexpected offer was more than she'd had reason to hope
for in a long time. Especially since it now appeared there was another
time pressure element, if the council was starting to make decisions
without consulting her first. She was sure that the Tendo girl had
revealed her information source just to make that point. The decision was
clear.
Shampoo's ranting finally intruded on her hurried thoughts, "...and
Shampoo *never* give up on Airen! Mercenary girl think to bribe Shampoo
with one night of passion with-"
Cologne interrupted, "Enough! We have spent four years here in Japan so
you could win Ranma and at this point, this may be the best we can hope
for."
She turned to Nabiki, "Shampoo will accept, but under one condition. She
must be allowed to return to try again until she bears a healthy daughter."
Nabiki frowned, "Ranma's fertility has already been proven."
Shampoo growled at this reminder of her rival's success.
"I will have to discuss it with him," she said thoughtfully, "but we'll
agree tentatively. You will first have to agree that you will pay the
expenses for any attempts after the first child, of course."
Cologne was caught off balance again, she had expected an outright
rejection. Perhaps she had caught Nabiki herself off guard and she had
fallen back on monetary issues to cover. But that seemed unlikely--how
much could it cost for a few hours at a love hotel? Cologne's instincts
told her that this was going too easily.
"Now," Nabiki continued in a pleasant voice, "There is the issue of the
other precedent."
Shampoo looked confused and Cologne sighed. Now, she thought, the other
bonbari will drop. "What hoary old episode of our history do you have now,
child?" she asked.
"I couldn't find the original precedent," Nabiki replied, "but more recent
examples include 411 shampoo, phoenix pills, the love pill bracelet,
passion mushrooms, the list goes on and on..."
"Get the point, girl."
"Amazons of Joketsuzoku will use any means necessary, magical or mundane,
to fulfill the Kiss of Marriage. Admittedly, the fact that all your
efforts to date have failed would have made for a weak precedent, but there
are plenty of successful precedents in Joketsuzoku history already. I was
amazed, really, how many outside males have had to be forced, drugged or
bewitched into marrying beautiful Amazons. I can't imagine what the
problem-"
Shampoo interrupted in a dangerous sounding voice, "Great-grandmother tell
Mercenary Girl get to point."
Nabiki smirked, "The point is why we are here." She gestured to the sign
on the building behind her, one of the smaller glass covered towers on the
block. The sign read Odawara Women's Clinic. From her inside coat pocket,
Nabiki took two brochures and handed one to each of them.
Cologne felt numb as she realized the truth. A few phrases seemed to leap
off the page at her. Assisted conception. Artificial insemination. In
vitro fertilization.
Nabiki's voice broke through the numbness, "Regarding the condition you
mentioned earlier, Shampoo will be given sperm that has already been
screened. It is ninety-eight percent certain that she will conceive a girl
from it. Ranma insisted on that. It seems he doesn't want any son of his
raised in Joketsuzoku. If the two percent chance turns up, or if there are
complications, the clinic will still have enough of his sperm for several
more attempts. In vitro fertilization is also an option. If, however,
Shampoo is infertile or for some reason genetically incompatible with
Ranma, an egg donor will be needed. That is the case that I'll need to
talk to Ranma ab-"
Cologne broke in, "No, if that is the case, there will be no need." She
felt every one of her 300 years. Joketsuzoku law and history had been
subverted and she had been out maneuvered by children. Technically, she
could still go home and call it a victory, but in reality she--and
Shampoo--had been defeated.
Shampoo had gotten little from the brochure. Pictures of test tubes,
babies, smiling parents and people in white coats. She'd understood more
of Nabiki's additional explanation, but more is a very relative term.
"What farming have do with Shampoo and Ranma's baby?" she demanded.
"It means, Shampoo," Nabiki explained in a sweet sounding voice, "that
just as you have tried so many times to take Ranma's heart with magic and
drugs, you will now conceive his child through the magic of modern medicine
instead of the, shall we say, old-fashioned way. "
Shampoo was drawing breath to scream at Nabiki when Cologne said quietly,
"Shampoo, you must accept."
Shampoo looked stunned, "But Great-grandmoth-"
"It is over, Great-grand-daughter. You will have Ranma's daughter to
raise," she smiled wanly, "Consider it a victory and be happy with it."
"Do I have your word on it, Elder?" Nabiki asked, just a shade too
quickly, Cologne thought.
"You do."
"And you, Shampoo?"
Shampoo looked rebellious, but deflated when she saw the sad look on
Cologne's withered face. "Yes," she said quietly as the tears formed in
her eyes.
"Good," Nabiki said, in a relieved tone, "Now," she continued briskly,
"You have an appointment inside with Dr. Odawara in," she glanced at her
watch, "twenty minutes. Ranma and Akane were here last month to make his
'contribution'. According to my sources, Shampoo should be fertile today
and for the next couple days. With luck, you can be on your way home in a
few weeks."
Cologne's eyes narrowed, but she felt a grudging respect for the younger
woman. "I must congratulate you on a most cunning--and thorough--plan."
"Thank you," Nabiki said with a smile, "And may I congratulate you on
knowing when to make a deal instead of a stand. I think this is one you'd
have tried to made yourself if you'd thought of it first. And while I did
plan it, I can't take credit for the idea."
It galled Cologne to admit it, even to herself, but she'd certainly have
thought about it. "Then who's idea was it? Surely not Son-in-laws?" she
asked.
"Akane's," Nabiki replied smugly.
"Akane! Why?!" Shampoo demanded.
"She didn't give any reasons, but it was during the second month of her
pregnancy that she suggested it. Right after she was hospitalized for
dehydration from morning sickness. Ranma called it all day and all night
sickness. Akane seemed to referred it to as 'Damn you, Ranma Saotome'
sickness." She grinned, "I can't imagine why."
=======================
This was an idea that popped into my head after reading several of
KaraOhki's 'everything resolves peacefully and they live happily ever
after' fics. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it was just what
had set my frame of mind to think of ways to get rid of the Amazon crew. :-)
I realize that Ho Tu-aks is a terrible Chinese name, but I couldn't resist.
Odawara Women's Clinic Shibuya-Ku, Tokyo is a real clinic that is
recommended for assisted conception; I picked it up from a web site. And I
do have a friend who had morning sickness so bad she was hospitalized a
couple days for dehydration. <shudder>
Jim