--- Jonathan Rosebaugh <chibi@anifics.com> wrote:

I'm guessing that the purpose of this is to portray your typical
Americana. However, you start out with two things that make it less
strong an opening than it could have been.

I'm not going to entertain any comments about the distinctive style I've chosen
for this story.

From this, I'm guessing that your point of divergence is much earlier
than WWII. Besides which, why would the city of Vancouver join by
itself?

Vancouver is the new name for what is British Columbia in our universe, and was
British California in theirs -- the fact that what they call "Vancouver" had a
name like that should have tipped you off.

Japan is one state? Granted, all the Hawaiian islands are one state,
but Japan's a bit bigger... Unless, all of a sudden, Japan hasn't got
the population to be multiple states?

Japan is, however, not much larger than several mainland states of the Union.

This makes little sense, and though it's obviously intended to mean
something, I get nothing from it.

Unfortunate but inevitable. Encounters with one's higher self are rarely
understandable to others.

Overall, very nice, though somewhat confusing. You're taking a free
hand with the history here, and we should probably be told what's
going on.

How often do people sit around discussing history?

However... I won't be reading any more of this fic, for a simple
reason.

Your loss.

Chris Davies.

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