----- Original Message -----
From: "Sam Vilsmeier" <syp104@email.psu.edu>
To: "FFML (E-mail)" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Wednesday, May 15, 2002 6:48 PM
Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][R.5/SM][Draft]Awkward Consequences 3

on to chapter three...

Haruka gave Hotaru a harsh glair, "Oh, shit? Is that all you have to say for
yourself, young lady?".

glare.

lady?"  --no extra period.

Hotaru gulped. How would she keep her secret? What would they do? She was
not ready for this! Hotaru sniffed and looked down. What could she say
without damning herself? "Err... I think so."

um.  why doesn't she blame it on setsuna?

"eh?  those pregnancy tests were setsuna's!  i told her not to sleep with
mamoru!  darn it!"

"what pregnancy tests?"

Hotaru's eyes narrowed, "Exactly! Who are you to talk? I'll be sixteen in a
month. How am I too young?"

narrowed.  "Exactly!... --period, not comma, as her eyes narrowing isn't part
of the dialogue.

Haruka eyes narrowed and started drilling into Hotaru, "Like you 'kind of'
forgot to use protection?"

Hotaru.  "Like you 'kind of forgot' to use... --need that closing...thingy.
whatever it's called.  ' <--that!  yeah!

"That is why you are too immature for this. When your mama and I had sex
when we were young, there was never any threat of pregnancy. We're both
women, it does not work that way." Haruka walked toward her daughter and
looked down, towering over her. "You on the other hand are dating a boy. You
can get pregnant! How long have you know him anyways?"

You, on the other hand...

Hotaru was frozen. She could not move, she could barely think. Her stomach
was twisting, she was light headed, and she was doing her best to avoid
bursting into tears. "Two... two months, papa."

Papa.

"Two months! Are you ready to marry this boy, cause that is what you'll have
to do if you get knocked up..."

if they know about the sickness, and now, that she's having sex... wouldn't
they put those things together?

Hotaru nodded, "Yes, papa..."

Papa.

"Well Hotaru, what if you get pregnant and he does not marry you? What then?
Your honor will be ruined, that's what. Your only real choice would be an
abortion!"

Well, Hotaru, what if...

"Even if you got married you would have to drop out of school, and if he
didn't your reputation would be ruined. You would be thought of as no better
then those little sluts who whore themselves at the bars downtown! Well
Hotaru, you want to end up like them?"

Well, Hotaru, you...

This is really waaaay too harsh, imo.  I can't see Haruka acting quite like
this.  I haven't seen or read SM, but I still can't see it.  ^_^;

Ryouga gave Ranma a feral grin and cracked his knuckles. "Yeah Ranma, and
how does that make cheating on Akane and knockin' up some poor girl not your
fault?"

Yeah, Ranma, and...

Ranma glared and Ryouga. Could the pig shut up for a second so he could
explain? "Hey, I was getting to that! So he invited me to this party. Okay,
at the party they had booze. Lot of booze."

glared at Ryouga.

Lots of booze.

Ryouga rolled his eyes, "What now, you gonna tell me that you got drunk? You
don't drink Ranma."

drink, Ranma.

Ranma rolled his eyes and reached into his shirt. "I don't smoke neither,"
he said as he lit up a cigarette with burst of Ki.

smoke, either,"  --not sure if neither works.  believe it'd still need the
comma, though.

Ranma groaned, "So will crazy amazons, violent tomboys, obsessive chefs...
hey, why do you care?"

Amazons?

Ryouga gave Ranma a wide, predatory grin showing his fangs. "That's my job."

to care?

Ranma plinked and placed his hand on Ryouga's forehead. "You sick man? I
though I just hear you not blame me for something."

just heard.

Ryouga growled and pulled Ranma's hand of his head. "What, you want me  to
blame you?" he paused for a moment then continued, "So, how do you know she'
s pregnant?"

me to --extra space.

moment, then continued.  "So, how do you know she's pregnant?"  --comma,
period, 'she's' not 'she 's'.

"I was getting to that. When we woke up she kinda freaked but, I calmed her
down. After that we talked for a little while, and told each other a little
bit about ourselves and I told her where to find me if she ever needs help.
Earlier today she showed up and told me she was gonna have my kid."

ever needed help.

Ranma rubbed his temple, "I have no idea. Absolutely no idea. I want to do
the right thing but what is it man? I still have three fianc�es, my life is
a train wreck, and chaos follows me where ever I go. How can I drag her into
it?"

thing, but what is it, man?

or

thing but what is it, man?  think it's the first.

wherever I go.

Ryouga shook his head, "Don't be an idiot Saotome. That is not your choice.
You're not going to chicken out on this one, cause I you do I WILL KILL
 YOU!"

idiot, Saotome.

cause if you do, I WILL... blah blah blah.  ^_^;

Ranma though about what Ryouga said. The fool was right. He could explain
things to her but beyond that it was her choice not his. Ranma smiled at his
rival. "Thanks Ryouga."

there's an extra blank line in there, looks like.

Ryouga had said.

her choice, not his.

Thanks, Ryouga.

Ranma blinked. Oh, well best not her pig-boy started. "So... I'm headed to
my mom's. See ya Ryouga."

best not get... ?

See ya, Ryouga.

"Come on, P-chan," said Ranma as he jumped to his feet but was stopped by
Ryouga's hand on his shoulder.

what?  see ya, or follow me?  which is it?

"No way Ranma, I will not be letting you out of my sight. I'm going to be
you conscience. You do something wrong and I'll send you to hell."

way, Ranma, I...

I don't get this.  Ranma has made his decision, and one that Ryouga agrees
with, so why would Ryouga follow him around?  Doesn't make sense.

Ranma looked in Ryouga's eyes for a moment. The lost boy was serious. "Fine.
Just keep up. I'm not going to be waiting around for you." With that out of
the way, Ranma bound off the roof with a cry of, "You coming P-chan?"

You coming, P-chan?

Chibi-Usa was knocked off of her train of thought and on to her ass as she
turned the corner on to Hotaru's street. She scowled as she got to her feet.
Who ever that was, is really going to get some lip.

whoever.

Hotaru nodded and spent the entire walk crying on her best friend's
shoulder. When they arrived, Chibi-Usa sat down on a benched and motioned
for Hotaru to sit next to her.

That's an awkward way to walk.  Oh, wait... *looks at the title*

Hotaru lightly nodded and sat on the bench.

lightly nodded?

nodded slightly?

She looked at her friend through tear filled eyes and whispered something.
Chibi-Usa sighed, and gave her friend a hug. She looked like she needed
another one. "Hotaru, I'm sorry but I could not hear you. Could you please
speak up?"

tear-filled eyes.

Chibi-Usa felt her body go numb with shock. Her best friend was what?!
Hotaru told her everything, and absolutely nothing had ever even pointed any
where near this direction. "How?" Chibi-Usa managed to choke out.

Hotaru always told... --Hotaru told her everything sounds like it's saying
that Hotaru told her everything NOW, about the pregnancy.

anywhere.

Hotaru sighed, and looked toward her friend. "Remember that party, the one
two months ago."

ago?

Hotaru sighed and nodded. "Yes, but not exactly how you think. When we
arrived he left me at the punch bowl and walked off. I stood there for a
while, rejecting drunken college morons and getting uncomfortable. That was
until Ranma came over. He was really sweet. He did not fit in either. We
talked for a while and had some snacks and punch. I think the punch must
have been spiked because I woke up the next morning in one of the dorm rooms
in bed with him."

He didn't fit in, either.

"I... I was hoping that I was just sick... that my period was just late... I
did not want to face the truth."

didn't want to face it.  --w/o contractions, some of this stuff sounds too
stilted.  also, 'face the truth' sounds kinda lame.

Chibi-Usa paused for a few moments then look towards Hotaru. "Does the
father know?"

Does he know?  --sounds better.

Chibi-Usa shallowly nodded to her friend. While she could understand Hotaru'
s need to secrecy, she wished Hotaru had told her. They're best friends, and
she wanted to be there for her. She blushed and looked at Hotaru, "So...
what was it like?"

Hotaru's.  --extra space, or something there, because the s is seperate.

at Hotaru.  "So, what...

Chibi-Usa nodded. She had been through stranger. She could believe that
Hotaru's 'boyfriend' had that kind of curse, such weirdness was probably a
requirement for having a relationship with a senshi. One question was still
on her mind though. "Why are you so upset? Did your family find out?"

Senshi.

Whatever Haruka had said really hit her hard. Chibi-Usa silently swore that
she would not let her get away with out a severe tong lashing.

tong lashing... heh.  that would be pretty funny.

tongue?

Chibi-Usa embraced her friend. She turned her head to Hotaru's ear and said.
"I love you Hotaru. You the sister I never had. I'll always be there for you
and your baby."

you, Hotaru.  You're the...

"Thank you...," sniffed Hotaru. The senshi of Saturn stood up and turned to
her friend. It was obvious that she was ready for more questions.

Senshi.

who is ready for more questions? hotaru or chibiusa?

Seeing her friends signals, Chibi-Usa continued, "How did they find out?"

friend's signals...

Chibi-Usa shushed her friend with a raised hand. "Come on Hotaru. You can
come to my place. I think we should talk to my mom about this. She might
know what to do. Tell her what you told me, okay?"

on, Hotaru...

Ranma gulped as he pressed the doorbell of his childhood home. Now he had to
talk with his mother. While Ryouga gave him some ideas, and an 'incentive'
to do the right thing, I would be he mother who had the greatest say about
his fate. She would know what would preserve honor.

BWAAHAHAHAHA!

er, sorry.

Nodoka quickly answered the door. Her face filled with joy the moment she
saw who her visitor. "Ranma! How are you, my son!" She quickly yanked Ranma
into the house, but paused when she saw Ryouga. She recognized him as one of
the boys who was always fighting with her son. "Ranma, isn't this on of your
adversaries?" she said in a stern voice.

my son?

too much 'my son' 'her son' stuff.

one of your...

"Yeah mom..." replied Ranma.

Yeah, Mom..."

Nodoka looked over the fanged boy with a very stern, critical eye. She
remembered this boy. He and her son were always fighting, and they could
cause a great deal of damage. She did not want that in her home. "You may
come into my home, young man. But you will not lay a hand on my son or
damage my house or its contents. If you can't I will ask you to leave."

er... can't what?  can't promise not to do that?

Ranma quickly jumped to Ryouga's defense. It was obvious from his tone and
posture that he though Nodoka was overestimating the problem. "Mom, give
Ryouga a break. We go a long ways back. To tell you the truth, me and
 him..."

though -thought.

"He and I," corrected Nodoka. "A manly man is one with proper grammar."

...right.

Ranma scratched the back of his head and continued, "Err... ok. Well, we're
rivals mom. We may kick the crap out of each other, but he's my friend."

rivals, Mom.

Nodoka scowled. She hated it when he cursed, but really couldn't blame him
though. He was raised by Genma, and her husband could have a very fowl mouth
at times.

blame him.  He had been raised by... foul mouth.  Heh.  fowl mouth?  ^_^;

She knew that Ranma was disturbed by his mess of fianc�es, most of them
thanks to her idiot husband, she was proud that he son could attract so many
women. Unfortunately his answer was far from sufficient. "Define please."

she's not asking him to define the word please, she's asking for a definition
of the problem, please.

so, 'Define, please."

"Yeah mom..." replied Ranma. He was obviously nervous and was sweating
heavily.

Yeah, Mom?

"Your so manly!" cried Nodoka as she jumped forward and embraced her son.

You're.

"Mom," interrupted Ranma.

"Mom-"

or

"Mom..."

...i think.

Nodoka paid her son no heed and continued her rampant chatter, "Anyways,
while it was manly of you to pleasure a woman, it was irresponsible to
forget to use protection."

chatter.  "Anyways,...

"Yes, my oh so many son?" Nodoka replied, her voice dripping with pride.

yes, my oh-so-manly son?

"Ranma, your mom's scary" Ryouga whispered in his rivals ear.

rival's.

Ranma scowled, it was time to make a point. "Mother, what about the other
two or three dozen engagements that my Old Man made? What makes them any
different? Those were nothing but the old mans bullshit. What they hell do I
have to live to this one."

my old man made?  --not capitalized.

Why the hell do I have to live with this one?

or

'stick to this one?'

Nodoka nodded. "I know, my son. I would like to ask you friend to step out
for a moment. I wish to speak to my son alone."

your friend.

to speak to you alone.

or

moment."  She turned to Ryouga.  "I wish to speak to my son alone."

Ranma stood up and turned to his mother. "Can we talk outside mom?"

outside, Mom?

stood up and turned to his mother... who had he been facing before?

She nodded, "very well son."

nodded.  "Very well, son."

Once the mother and son duo were outside, and sitting down Nodoka began.
"Our family honor is in a very difficult situation thanks to your father. He
has run our name through the dirt of the last ten years. I do realize this.
I almost hate Genma for it, but I see little way out of it. I have to
preserve what little honor your father has left us with."

down, Nodoka began.

dirt for the last...

On Usagi's face was a gentle, friendly smile. Looking the younger girl in
the eyes, she said, "Hotaru, this is a time for joy, not sadness. You're
going to me a mother. Congratulations, Hotaru-chan."

Hey!  Hey!  I think a hug is in order!  ^_^;

Come on... you think Usagi wouldn't give her a hug?  :)

Usagi sighed and placed her hand on the younger senshi's shoulder "I know
this is just so much in so little time. It must be very hard, especially
after what Haruka said."

Senshi.

Hotaru nodded. Usagi was right, it is hard.

it was hard.

"What about the farther? Do you know what he plans on doing?"

the father?

Usagi smiled, "That's good, but is it what you want Hotaru-chan?"

want, Hotaru-chan?

Usagi nodded, "I understand, Hotaru-chan. You don't want to be married to a
man who does not love you."

doesn't.  contractions!  gotta love em!

"Don't worry Hotaru! Once he knows the real you, he would not be able to
resist falling in love!" chirped in Chibi-Usa

worry, Hotaru!

wouldn't.

Usagi sighed. "I'll call them Hotaru. I'm going to tell them to come here so
we can talk. Is that ok?"

them, Hotaru.

Usagi nodded, "I really can't think of another way, but I will not tell them
if you don't want me to."

won't tell them...

Hotaru curled up into a ball. She had not been this afraid sense the night
she found out. Tears started to stream down her eyes. They would find out
tonight, and she could only hope that she still had a family in them
morning. In a meek, fearful voice she said, "Tell them."

since the night...

the morning.

"I hope Hotaru's okay..." grumbled Haruka. All three out the Outers were
waiting for Hotaru to return home. They knew there had been some harsh
words, and both Michiru and especially Haruka were looking for a chance to
apologize.

there had been some harsh words... better to rephrase it to make it clear the
harsh words were haruka's.  as it is, it sounds like hotaru was participating.

"You should be Haruka. You went to far," growled Michiru.

be, Haruka.

Haruka sighed and looked at her lover. "I was just worried about Hotaru,
that's all. Some one had to be tough with the girl, and I doubt you're
willing to... but I kind of went too far."

Someone.

Michiru took this to her advantage "That's right! I wanted to sit her down
and talk about it, not scream until  she ran off crying!"

until she --extra space.

scream at her --might be better.

Haruka glared nastily at the outer most Senshi, "For someone who claims to
be one of Hotaru's parent figures you don't do much."

outer-most.

Setsuna scowled and set down her book, "Exactly. She is a big girl now. She
needs her independence. I'm giving her space, and a shoulder to cry on when
she needs it. I do keep a look out for major personal events though. It
never hurts to double check."

book.  "Exactly....

"Hello Usagi," said Setsuna moments after she lifted the phone.

Hello, Usagi.

"Congratulations, here is to the most idiotic actions preformed in my recent
memory! Cheers!" said Setsuna raised as the glass to the two Outers, and
chugged the entire content.

action?  or actions?

Haruka winced, she had once been stupid enough to try that stuff. The
'liquor' made her go temporality blind. "What the you talking about?"

temporarily.

Setsuna smiled, "Haruka, you really put you foot in your mouth this time!"

smiled.  "Haruka,...

Setsuna smiled, "It seems our child is with child." Setsuna quickly thrust
the bottle out to the other Outers. "Drink?"

Eh... so, is Setsuna surprised, or isn't she?  Her reaction to the phone call
makes it seem like she wasn't expecting it, but the 'it's all going according
to plan' bit earlier is rather contradictory to that...

*Therm smacks Sam.*

"Give me chapter four!"

*Waits a minute, then smacks Sam again.*

"Give me chapter four, infidel!"

Repeat.

Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat. Repeat.RepeatRepeatRepeatREpeatREPEAT.

^_^;

soo... on to the next chapter!  whenever it gets here, anyway...


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