Moving this to the head of the list, since it seems a popular topic at the
moment:

Many apologies for my total lack of activity lately.

 Just compare yourself to Zen and realize you're a jackrabbit to his
tortoise
 no matter how much you turn out. You'll feel better

         Ranma smiled hopefully at the assembled residents of the
inn. "So now you know what's going on," he explained, nodding, and
glad for the calm that seemed to have settled over the room.

 It shan't last.

         So calm, in fact, that Shinobu appeared to take a nap right
in her seat, slumping across the table.

Yes, well, she is a bit high strung.

         "Erm," Ranma noised,

 noised? An odd choice. I personally don't care for it, but it's a minor
 gripe.

tensing at the girl's collapse.

"Anyway, this has been one big mixup after another, so I'll just
take my stuff, get my rent back, and then move along."

 Well, at least he tried to bail out. :)

         Keitaro twitched violently at that. "Um, oh, you don't have
to move out," he said quickly. "I mean, they let me stay here, so
one more boy -- especially one who's a girl half the time --
shouldn't be a problem, right?"

         "No," Motoko protested, just as quickly. "He's a pervert,
even less trustworthy than yourself, Urashima. We can not

 cannot

let him

stay here."

 And I see they're going to get along famously. :)

         "Calm down!" Ranma said,

if he's saying it normally you might want to drop the exclaimation.

 smiling broadly. "There's no reason

to be upset!

 And again here. I don't see him being that emphatic at this point. I'm sure
 he'll get plenty of things to get excited about later. :)

         "Er... about that, you see," Keitaro managed, backing away
nervously. "Um, I already spent your rent money on repairs, so I
can't refund it and I'm really really sorry so please don't hurt
me!"

 Naru: Right. Hurting him is my job. <Punches Keitaro across the room>

         Ranma stared at him blankly. "You mean... all of my money
was wasted because some crazy tomboy wrecked the inn, and now I
can't get it back?" He turned to Motoko, furious. "You're saying
that just because she attacked me, I have to stay here? Are you
_serious_?"

         Motoko backed away nervously at the anger Ranma was
radiating, and stammered, "Now, now, now, there's no reason to be
upset!"

 I think you mean Keitaro there.

         Ranma growled angrily. "Stupid, violent-- Okay. This is your
fault. Now how are we going to deal with the problem?"

         "It's _not_ my fault!" Motoko countered, overcoming her fear
of Ranma's aggressive demeanor.

 She was frightened of him? Didn't seem that way, and usually she's more
 stolid than that, unless he has a turtle on his head.

"And I was attacking you for being a pervert!"

         "_Me_ for being a pervert? _He_ is the one who made me think
that this was a boys-only dorm!" Ranma growled, pointing an
accusatory finger at Keitaro.

 Keitaro: Wasn't me. Yiou misunderstood what I was saying.

         "Not inside!" Keitaro protested, cowering before the punch
that Naru launched towards him.

 I don't know. It seems a bit off, but not sure what you could do to make it
 flow better.

         Shinobu had just recovered from her fainting spell in time
to hear that, and immediately broke down in tears. "She's not a
lesbian, she just wants to kill all the girls so she can have the
boys to herself!"

 Now what made her think that, especially since Shinobu thought she saw
 Matoko feeling up a female Ranma?

         Keitaro edged slowly away from Naru while she was distracted
by Motoko. "Does this mean that it's not Keitaro's fault?" she asked
slowly.

 Heh. It's only Kei's fault about half the time.

         The kendoka, uncaring, charged through the smoke towards
Ranma, sword in a ready position. "I will strike you down, fell
minion of perversion!" she declared.

Heh. A more competant version of Kunou is all she is to Ranma. :)

         Ranma smirked, ducking her initial sword slash with a lithe
and casual grace. "You're all steamed up!" he taunted, pointing to
Motoko.

         She paused, glowering, and glanced at herself. Where the
golden light of Ranma's attack had touched her clothing, it had
begun to smolder.

 Nice touch, though it's smoke, not steam. :)

"Aaah!" she shrieked, frantically beating the

flames out with her free hand, but not dropping her sword.

         "Looks like you're going to win this fight for sure," Ranma
heckled. "You're absolutely on _fire_!"

 Now that's more like it.

         "Auuugh... poor Shinobu," the little girl sobbed.

 She refers to herself as poor Shinobu.

         Either unable to hear his comment, or uncaring,

 Most likely the latter.

         Yelling inarticulately, Motoko chased after Ranma as he led
her in slowly narrowing spiral.

 Heh. It's over this time.

         "Well!" Mitsune exclaimed, smiling broadly at Keitaro. "I
like him. If we get to see fights like this all the time, I say we
let him stay!"

         Naru gaped at Mitsune. "Are you serious?" she asked,
unbelieving. "He turns into a girl! He can beat Motoko, our only
defense against Keitaro's perversion!"

 What? Naru doesn't think her uppercut qualifies as a defense? :)

         "Exactly!" Naru said, nodding and turning to Keitaro.

         "But he can't be nearly as bad as all the perverts we
already have!"

 Sides, doesn't she like Kei boy here too?

         "And you are a more worthy opponent than I had thought," the
kendoko countered. Her sword was still held in a ready stance, as
her garb fluttered about her, strangely ominous in the updraft.

 Hmm. She seems to be able to engage in an aerial fight very effectively.

         "I'm making sure you get down safely," he insisted. "Aniki
says, 'Never leave a girl in distress, double for cute ones,'

 Ranma: Which means I should take the advice at only half its original
 meaning.

 and I

think it's good advice."

         Anger gave abrupt way to confusion, and the intensity of the
whirlwind lessened, lowering them towards the ground, and quickly.

quickly towards the ground (sounds better to me)

         "So you're

 you

 _are_ mocking me now?" the kendoka asked,

furrowing her brow.

         "I'm not mocking you! Well, I was before, but that's because
I needed to make you hot enough to use the Hiryuu shouten-ha."

         "A convenient excuse,"

 Ranma: Got that right.

         "For the moment," Motoko grumbled. "I am not pleased about
this, and you were a very rude man."

         "Uh, sorry about that," Ranma laughed, running a hand
through his hair and scratching the back of his head nervously
again. "I was really angry about the money thing. But it's no big
deal, I can live in the woods behind the inn okay, I've done it
before."

 Heh. He is being quite the gentleman.

         "Eh? Well, if you really want to know... it's a school Aniki
made up." He nodded judiciously, eyes distant as he remembered
everything he had learned with his brother. "Anyway, it's about
learning what to use, and when to use it. Aniki says... 'take
everything you can ever learn, and learn it as best as you can. It's
always going to be useful somewhere, sometime.'

 Not true. It's only potentially useful. There can be plenty of things one
 learns and never has to use because the opportunity to use it never comes
 up.

So, we go around,

and everything we can, we learn, and add to the Art. Even simple
chores are an extension of the Art, and everything you ever do is
training."

         "I'm familiar with the theory," Motoko allowed, nodding.
"And you actually practice this?"

         "Eh, me and Aniki, yeah," Ranma said, nodding. "Er...

 Lots of 'Eh's and 'ers' Might want to skip some of them. They aren't really
 necessary.

I hear

the other people coming. We must have landed a ways away

 'far away' or 'a good distance away' would be better.

         Once things had settled down into some semblance of order,

 Which won't last.

         Keitaro blinked, turning his attention to the book at his
desk, and read off the title.

         Naru nodded, and consulted a notebook of her own. "What did
you get for the long problem on page eight?"

         Consulting his notes, Keitaro read, "Uh... I got variable by
seven over three."

 She's asking him for help? She must be desperate.

He looked up to Naru curiously. "What did you

get?"

         "Variable by three over seven," she grumped. "But my answer
key is missing."

         "Oh, well, let me check." Keitaro flipped through his book
quickly. "Oops. Looks like you were right,"

 Thought as much.

         Ranma spun on one foot, the other sweeping through the air
above Suu's head and snapping into a metal object soaring after her.
The device gave a resounding crunch, and bounced away. "No!" Ranma
insisted, shaking her head quickly. "I don't want tests done on me!
It's just a Jusenkyou curse!"

 I see he's come to terms with the curse to use 'just' in it.

         "What's a Jusenkyou? Is it delicious?" Suu asked, peering at
Ranma closely, and seemingly unconcerned with the destruction of her
latest invention.

         "I--" Ranma blinked, considering. "Who knows? You don't want
to drink something that's cursed!"

 Suu might. She is adventurous. :)

         "Is a curse delicious?"

         "Now I know you're just being difficult," Ranma asserted,
plucking the girl from her shoulders, and setting her down on the
hallway. "Tell you what, though. If you behave, and don't bug me,
maybe I'll tell you where Jusenkyou is."

Ranma:  And especially where the Spring of Drowned Snail is, so you'll be
easier to
 stop making mischief.

         Keitaro frowned, and watched Ranma walk away before turning
to regard Naru questioningly. "I thought you said you didn't want to
study with Ranma?"

         "It's different when Ranma is a girl," she insisted. "If
he's a boy, then you outnumber me, and that's not safe."

 I see Naru's still in her mentally unbalanced stage of life. :)

         Motoko cupped her hands before her, and summoned a dim flame
of her own ki, burning a pure, pale white. "You showed me something,
Oe, but it did not stay what it was. Not for long." She studied the
weak, flickering flame in her hands for a moment before dismissing
it. "I have shown no one else that I can do that much. My blade is
required for more."

 Hmm. Did you make her do that, or has she been able to summon ki in the
 manga?

         "There was a boy in a town far away from here," he said
softly, staring into the intensifying golden ki-flame. "He had a
curse, and you know that curse, but it was the least of his
problems." He chuckled, as the flame wavered, then strengthened.
"The greatest of his problems was that he didn't know how to control
himself. More importantly, he didn't know _when_ to control himself,
Motoko-chan." A streak of green crept into the flame, strengthening
and widening as he continued. "And he was so sure he couldn't make a
mistake that he _did_ make a mistake, and it was a big one."

 Ah, now we get to the gist of things.

he valued," he whispered, the gold vanishing entirely to the sickly,
wavering green. "And everywhere he turned, everything he knew became
something else." The first strains of malevolent black crept into
the wavering strands of ki-flame. "And he lost something very
important to him."

         ***

 I'd ditch the asteriks

         "Perhaps not evil," she mused, "but something is amiss, and
you will not answer my questions." She smiled tapping a finger
against her lower lip. "An easy answer occurs to me, Oe-san. My
sister will divine your true intents easily enough, though I suspect
I know the answer regardless."

 Really? I thought she didn't like calling upon her sister.

         Shinobu peeked at the device worriedly. "How does it work?"
she asked hesitantly.

         Suu obligingly pointed at the device's three prominent eye-
shaped buttons in turn. "Hot water, cold water, self-destruct."

 Good. We musn't forget the self-destruct button.

         Fearful of the last button, Shinobu pressed the button for
hot water, and turned on the sink again.

 It began to smolder.

 Koara said, "Shoot, that was the self-destruct button. Sorry, I got
 confused."

         "You like him... like that?" Shinobu asked, pausing her
washing of the dishes long enough to peer at Suu.

         Suu was happily munching on her banana, looking out a nearby
window. "He's a Ranma, not a Keitaro,"

 Which means she wants to sleep with Ranma or Keitaro? :)

         Taking a break from studying world history, Keitaro stood
atop the cleanly swept stairs leading up to the inn, leaning on his
broom and staring down at the traffic zipping along the street
below. Shaking his head at his self-distraction, he turned about,
and began to walk towards the inn again. Without warning, Suu
released an exuberant war cry, and leapt from the second story of
the inn, nearly flying across the courtyard to slam into Keitaro.

 Heh.

         Knocked down by the girl's mass, Keitaro slid across the
flagstones, back to the very edge of the staircase, when Suu
leapfrogged off of

 can drop 'of'

         Keitaro's eyes widened, as Ranma jerked the handlebars
upward, jumping the vehicle onto the hood of an oncoming speeding
car, and bouncing off of

 can drop this 'of' too

         "I _am_ a child, and jumping down the stairs _is_ playing!"

 She raises a valid point.

Suu gleefully asserted. "So, will you tell me, now?"

         "Suu-chan, I think you really should just leave Oe-san
alone," Keitaro warned, nodding at Haruka and Mitsune by way of
greeting. "Um, but, Oe-san, since you've already met Kitsune, I
should introduce you to my aunt, Haruka. Haruka-basan, this is Oe
Ranma, our newest tenant."

 Now that might get him a punch, introing her that way.

         "Oh, Kitsune told me everything," Haruka said, smiling
around her cigarette. "Just thought I'd warn you that Seta is coming
by later, and he's bringing Sarah back with him."

Good. Maybe Ranma will kill the little pest. :)

         Suu straightened up, crossing her arms over her chest and
looking suddenly very thoughtful, considering that she was suspended
by having her legs wrapped around Ranma's chest. "It's a specially
devised technique to throw people off and learn more about them from
their indirect reactions, allowing me to gauge what kind of person
they are and study them better."

 What? Asking if things are delicious?

         Ranma blinked, twisting his head to one side to try and look
at the girl. "That makes sense," he said quietly. "But you still
want to go to Jusenkyou?"

         The girl nodded excitedly. "We can test the effects of a
Jusenkyou on Tamago!"

 Oh, that would be just plain fun.

         "What if they ask me for any information about the inn?"

 Keitaro: Make something up. It doesn't matter what. It won't be as
 unbelievable as the truth.

         Shinobu frowned, turning the stove off, and allowing
everything to sit for a minute. It would need that time to cool
down, and she needed that same time to think. While a part of her
mind wanted to label Ranma 'strange', and possibly 'pervert', given
Ranma's circumstances, he seemed relaxed and calm. Certainly, with
Suu around he nearly felt... innocent, truthfully.

         It hadn't taken much time of being in the same room with him

 think you can drop 'with him' since you have 'to him' just after this.

to warm up to him.

He was similar to Keitaro in so many ways

 Though not as much a weenie. :)

         How was that any different from what he had done to protect
Suu and himself, all told? Perhaps it was simply that Suu had put
herself in danger, while Motoko seemed to accidentally put her in
danger? She considered that for a moment before shaking her head.
Motoko wasn't the kind to recklessly endanger the lives of any
resident of the inn, with the possible exception of Keitaro himself.

 Got that right. :)

         "Oh, ah,

 Another 'ah' I think you can do without.

         "N... no, Oe-san, really, you mustn't," Shinobu insisted,
striding quickly towards the kitchen. "I have to make up for
forgetting to give you anything at breakfast!"

         Shinobu glanced up from the first of the dishes in time to
see Ranma look vaguely guilty before he looked away

 'turned away' might be better since you have a 'look' earlier in the
 sentence.

         "Don't feel much like a guy," Mitsune commented, groping
Ranma's chest casually. "Hmm, almost as big as mine," she murmured.
"Not bad!"

 Heh. She just had to compare.

         "Please?" the redhead added, looking surprisingly haggard.

         "Er... yes, Oe-san, I think we could do that," Keitaro
announced helpfully, before anyone else could speak up. "I think,
after all that you're doing for the inn, it's the least we could do.
Right, Narusegawa?"

         Shinobu swallowed nervously, calming herself, and turned to
look at the girl in question, but Naru was frozen, nearly statue-
like, staring forward blankly with her mouth halfway open. "I'm
sorry," she giggled, snapping out of her daze instantly. "I thought
I heard something funny. About Motoko."

 Oh. wasn't she aware of the grope until now?

         The entire weekend had been an irritating ordeal, but he
found it hard to hold it against the residents of the inn -- for the
most part, he could tell that they meant well.

 They were just stupid, like all the people from his neighborhood.

         Shinobu was cute, for being a child, and seemed to be the
major domestic influence for the household. Ranma furrowed his brow
at that, punching the air, and spinning, then filing that thought
away to consider later. There was something there he didn't want to
think of just yet.

 Hmm. Must have to do with Kasumi, his leaving.

         The pale-haired Suu was also cute, and very excitable. Her
sense of curiosity was something of an annoyance, but she meant no
harm, and Kintaro had taught Ranma nothing, if not to respect
curiosity. How were they to learn if they weren't curious? If she
could calm down just a bit, Ranma expected he'd come to like her
quite a lot.

 Heh. Cute.

         Curiosity and scheming from Mitsune struck close to home for
Ranma, and reminded him far too much of a girl or two that had
gotten the better of him in the past. Curiously, Kintaro had a knack
for looking like an idiot near them, and _still_ getting the better
of them,

 Really? I don't remember Kei really getting the better of them too often.

 >

         The other woman, Narusegawa, was obviously used to being the
center of attention

 Really? I hadn't seen much in this story to indicate that.

, probably through Keitaro,

 Oh, well maybe I can see that.

 unless Ranma missed

his guess. He was thick about that once, and had made a point of
learning better when the opportunity had presented itself. He
couldn't tell much about her, yet, but she seemed fairly
unobtrusive, and he couldn't see himself not getting along with her.
She seemed to have something of a temper, though that too was one of
the mental territories Ranma would have preferred not to tread, as
it reminded him of someone else.

Sayuri. Yes. I can see that.

         "CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

         The cry caught Ranma off guard, and he turned around,
stumbling. His hand brushed perilously close to someone's face,
pulling off a pair of spectacles and throwing them to the deck,
while Ranma tried to recover his balance -- and his temper. Too much
focus,

 Just a bit.

         Not giving the man enough time to react, Ranma launched a
fierce uppercut to the man's jaw. To his surprise, the man stepped
to one side, then slipped inside Ranma's guard, and shoved him
forcefully backwards.

 Heh. Seta's still as good as he needs to be in a given situation, I see.

         The man blocked the punch nearly effortlessly, then jumped
over the kick, retaliating with a blow to Ranma's hip. The palm-
strike staggered Ranma, and he reevaluated his opponent. Obviously
he knew a thing or two about fighting, one way or another.

 More than a thing or two. He walked over Ranma as though he didn't exist.

         Slamming to the wooden deck, Ranma raised his eyebrows, and
somersaulted away. "Damn," he murmured. "How do you move so fast?"

 Seta: I mde a pact with an ancient demon I uncovered. Oops. Wasn't supposed
to say
 that.

         The man's block failed, and Ranma scored a hit to his
shoulder,

 Ah. Finally he starts to show his stuff. Of course Seta is partially blind.

         In response, the man slowed, but only slightly, before he
threw out a footsweep of his own. Ranma hopped over it, focusing all
of his strength and ability on throwing more punches, and faster,
while airborne. The man was rebuffed for a moment, but Ranma
couldn't maintain the pace for long, and knew he was readily wearing
himself down. If he were

 was going to (I think)

 >

         Heaving a sigh, the man wiped a sheen of sweat from his
brow, still smiling. "Not at all!" he insisted. "My glasses are
nearly unbreakable -- they've been through more fights and car
accidents than I can remember,

 Heh. True. He is a miserable driver.

 >

         Ranma turned around hesitantly, not completely surprised to
see everyone assembled at the edge of the laundry area, staring in
various states of shock. Haruka blinked twice, shutting her mouth a
bit too late, and allowing her cigarette to fall to the wooden deck.

My, don't catch her off-guard too often.

         "Oe Kintaro helped me train," Ranma said hesitantly, "but...
the man who actually taught me most of my skills was named Saotome
Genma."

         "Hmm," Seta mused, rubbing his chin. "That name seems
familiar, for some reason."

 Ohh. A bad sign.

         Seta rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then nodded. "Why not?"
he asked. "I have some time this week. I really only came by to see
Urashima-kun and drop off Sarah,

 Yeah. I'd want to drop her off at every available opportunity as well.

         "With his curse?" Naru asked skeptically. "I doubt it. But
I'm worried -- we used to have such a peaceful and happy inn. Now
that Oe has moved in, there's so much violence!"

         Mitsune raised an eyebrow, saying nothing.

 I was about to do that too. :)

         The longer he thought about it, the guiltier he felt, until
he remembered Ranma and Seta's sparring match. He had never seen a
living being move so quickly -- unless it was Naru after she'd
caught him peeping on her.

 Oh? He thinks of it as peeping now?

         Then again, his own arrival wasn't easy, as he was plagued
with variations on 'Operation: Get Keitaro Kicked Out' and the like.
Furrowing his brows, he sat up, uncrossing his arms. That wouldn't
do -- the other tenants simply had to agree to let Ranma stay.
Keitaro didn't have any way to pay Ranma back the difference on his
rent, and wouldn't for at least two months, more likely than not. He
suspected he could ask his parents for help, but was unconvinced
that it would be a good idea, in the grand scheme of things.

 Prolly not.

         "Sure I can!" Suu chirped, latching onto Ranma, and nuzzling
his side with her check. "I must study the sleeping habits of a
Ranma to learn more about Jusenkyous."

 Heh. He just can't win.

         Mitsune gasped, her eyes widening. "That's not much of an
answer!" she protested. "That's even _less_ responsible!"

Heh. True.

         Shinobu whimpered a second time, and swooned to the floor.

         "I don't _want_ both of you in my room when I'm trying to
sleep!" Ranma complained. "Look, since you're so concerned, I'll
just get some cold water, and sleep as a girl. Then nothing can
happen between us." He paused for an exaggerated minute, eyeing
Motoko up and down. "Provided you aren't there, at any rate."

 Heh.

         The girl nodded, and grabbed the hem of her blue skirt,
tearing it and her middy blouse off with glee. Improbably, she was
wearing a long-sleeved pajama shirt and pajama bottoms beneath,
though it hadn't appeared that way before. "Ready!" she announced,
hugging Ranma and nuzzling her face against the redhead's side
again.

 That stuff happens all the time. Full body outfits under clothing which
 shows skin, I mean. Read or Die had one in it too.

         "So that's how she paid for the repairs," Mitsune mumbled.

 Heh

 Nice work. This worked as a getting to know folks and setttling in chapter.
 Pacing was good, prose flowed well, minimal errors. Over all a very
 enjoyable read and I look forward to seeing more chapters in the future.

 D.B. Sommer




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