In a message dated 6/23/2002 11:44:23 PM US Mountain Standard Time, 
andreasona@msn.com writes:

Here's another scene, just since you spent so long reviewing these ones:

 
 Ooo goodie. Good thing I decided to read through this.

Patience is often rewarded. Sometimes not, but I try to reward patience
a bit.

Patience, for example, involves being able to wait a while for a story to
be continued. ^_-

 > After a long day of being dead, meeting deceased friends,
 > enemies, and ancestors he had no clue about, and then literally
 > fighting for his life through the fiery depths of hell, Darien
 > Shields thought a bit of relaxation was in order.
 
 But no, he's not going to get any, is he?

Not yet, in any case. He's got one last hurdle to jump before we'll
let the poor guy rest.

 > Much like several of his acquaintances, who had just managed
 > to stumble out of a taxi and find their respective bedding, the
 > man slumped down upon his unmade mattress and went out like the
 > last wretched, soggy match in a desperately-needed mountain survival
 > kit.
 
 Cool similie. Arby has nothing to complain about.

Thank'you very much! Others have liked that one as well.

 > Darien gulped loudly. "I--I can't die! I just got back!"
 >
 > I CAN SEE THAT, Death said, shaking his skull and turning away,
 > holding up his skeletal hands in a gesture of frustration. THIS IS
 > HIGHLY IRREGULAR. NOBODY WISHES TO STAY DEAD AS OF LATE.
 
 <Goku> Me! Me! I want to stay dead!

Goku's the exception that proves the rule: only he managed to stay dead,
among all the others that got brought back.

...

And it only lasted a few years, anyway. ^_^

 > OH, CERTAINLY THEY COMPLAINED, BUT IN THE END, THEY REMAINED
 > THERE. He glared at the man with the blue fires glowing in his empty
 > sockets. NOT LIKE _YOU_.
 >
 > Darien recoiled at the word 'you,' which had as much force and
 > weight to it as the dropped lid of a giant stone sarcophagus.
 
 <Darien> Ooh... what's that cologne your wearing?
 
 <Death> ODE AL LA TUME
 
 <Darien> It's suffocating!
 
 <Death> EXACTLY

Hey there... Not a bad idea!

    Darien recoiled at the word 'you,' which had as much force and
weight to it as the dropped lid of a giant stone sarcophagus.

    "Ugh!" Darien choked, covering his mouth with both hands.
"What's that cologne you're wearing?!"

    ODE DE LA TUME.

    "It's completely suffocating!!!"

    EXACTLY. BREATHE DEEPLY. DO YOU FEEL ASPHYXIATED YET? NO, I
CAN SEE YOU'RE NOT. KIDS THESE DAYS...

    Death started pacing around.

    THEY NEVER KNOW HOW TO RESPECT AUTHORITY. YES, AND THERE'S THIS
OBNOXIOUS KNIGHT THAT'S BEEN GIVING ME TROUBLE FOR AGES. I'LL HAVE
HIM, YOU KNOW. MAKE NO MISTAKE. IN THE END, ALL MUST ANSWER TO ME.

 > Suddenly, the phone rang. Instinctively, Darien picked it up.
 > "Hello?" Then he frowned and looked at the clock. "Who are you and
 > what are you doing, calling at three o'clock in the morning?!"
 
 Phone companies again? Only asking for Death?

ACK! I missed a joke! I can't believe I missed that one!!!

    Suddenly, the phone rang. Instinctively, Darien picked it up.
"Hello?" Then he frowned and looked at the clock. "Who are you and
what are you doing, calling at three o'clock in the morning?!" He
looked at his shoes, which were on the floor. "Uh, ten, why?" His
frown shifted into a scowl. "No, I'm NOT interested in buying a
new cellphone with a thousand minute calling plan!!!"

    The receiver nearly broke when the college student slammed
it back down on the hook. "I signed up with one company and the
rest are already hounding me!"

    A moment later, the phone started ringing again. Darien picked
it up and shouted, "WHAT?!"

    The Imfamous Split-Screen Phone Conversation(tm) came back,
and on the other side was the familiar friendly face of Kasumi
Incognito. "Oh my! Were you sleeping?"

    "Huh?!" Darien yelped in surprise. "Um, er, hi! Terra's mom,
right? No, I'd already gotten up. Why is everyone calling this
early?"

    "I was just a little worried about you," Kasumi replied.
"Are you feeling all right? You're not sick or anything, are you?"

Thanks for reminding me! ^_-

 > The Imfamous Split-Screen Phone Conversation(tm) came back,
 > and on the other side was the familiar friendly face of Kasumi
 > Incognito. "Oh my! Were you sleeping?"
 
 Darn.

Arigat-oooooooooooooooooooooou!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^

 > "I'm feeling fine, actually. Just a little tired."
 >
 > "That's very good! I thought you might be dying."
 >
 > WHO IS IT? Death asked, peering over the man's shoulder.
 
 <Dairen> *Gag* *cough* *cough* There's that cologne again...

Agreed!

    "That's very good! I thought you might be dying."

    WHO IS IT? Death asked, peering over the man's shoulder.

    *HACK-COUGH!*GAG!* "THAT cologne again!" Covering up part of
the receiver, Darien looked at him and said, "It's Kasumi, the mother
of a friend of mine." He turned his attention back to the phone.
"What would make you think I'm dying?"

^_^

 > YES, Death added, placing his fingers on the man's shoulder,
 > PERHAPS YOU FEEL MY ICY GRIP UPON YOU OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT?
 > HA. HA. HA. HA.
 >
 It's bad enough when Death has his hand on your shoulder. Does he have to
 make stale jokes, too?

He's heard that a bit of humor helps move things along. He doesn't have
much experience in that area. ^_^

 > Death sounded as if he'd heard of laughter, but hadn't gotten
 > the basic tenets down. However, one could not argue about the effect
 > it had on the hair on the back of Darien's neck, which was rather
 > like what happens when you take a live cat and tie its tail to a
 > pair of charged high-tension power lines, minus the smoke and the
 > yowling. Well, some of it, anyway.
 
 Wait a second... he's smoking?! Oh... no, just a little yowling. Okay.

Correct-o!

 > "I've just got an unwelcome guest," Darien replied, glaring
 > at Death, who shrugged, obviously not considering the remark worth
 > commenting upon.
 
 The only people that ever had him as a welcome guest are Billy and Mandy.

Heh heh. ^_^

 > ALL'S WELL HERE, Death said, doing a particularly good job
 > of looming over the man. ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
 
 Of course. Death loom over all, from time to time.

Yes, he does. Sheer force of presence and such.

 > Darien nodded lopsidedly, his forced smile indicating that
 > he was about to generate a very large understatement, "Yeah, a
 > couple."
 
 Dozen or so... all out for blood... one really loud one that wouldn't 

die...

 You know, the usual.

Hmm... That'd make a good line!

    Darien nodded lopsidedly, his forced smile indicating that
he was about to generate a very large understatement, "Yeah, a
few dozen of 'em. All out for blood. And there was this really
loud one that just wouldn't die. I was on a roof nearby, getting
ready to toss my new axe at it, then I got blasted back by one
of those sonic waves."

    "That's right," Kasumi said, "but Sailor Moon gained her powers
back and finished it off."

 > "And one more came back to life," Kasumi said, "but Sailor
 > Moon gained her powers back and finished it off."
 
 Wow. She's well informed.

Well, she has to know these things when she's a mother. ^_^

 > YES, SLEEP. SLEEP THE ETERNAL DREAM AND PASS ON TO THE NEXT--
 >
 > "Quiet!" Darien half-yelled.
 
 <Death> WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO RUDE.

Oooh! Good line!

    YES, SLEEP. SLEEP THE ETERNAL DREAM AND PASS ON TO THE NEXT--

    "Quiet!" Darien half-yelled.

    WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO RUDE...

    "Oh! Do you have company?" Terra asked.

 > Darien looked at Death. "They want to talk to you."
 >
 > ME? WHY? Death asked with a confused grin as he was handed the
 > phone and held it uneasily to the side of his skull. HELLO?
 
 This has got to be odd... for Death, that is.

Hoo-yeah. Not a lot of people want to call the guy up...

 > I AM NO FURTHER THAN THE THICKNESS OF A SHADOW. WHERE MAN IS,
 > OR WOMAN OR CHILD, THERE AM I.
 
 Back at his resterant, ASK suddenly get the erge to stomp on his shadow.

^_^ More than likely.

 > "Don't you plan on retiring, ever?" Kasumi pressed.
 >
 > WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS ITS FINAL INCH ON LEECHED SOIL UNDER
 > FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE.
 
 Oh... so you're saying it's a perminant appointment?

^_^

    I AM NO FURTHER THAN THE THICKNESS OF A SHADOW. WHERE MAN IS,
OR WOMAN OR CHILD, THERE AM I.

    "Don't you plan on retiring, ever?" Kasumi pressed.

    WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS ITS FINAL INCH ON LEECHED SOIL UNDER
FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE.

    Kasumi hummed, impressed. "So it's a permanent appointment,
then?"

    I SUPPOSE YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.

    "Then you must love your job to dedicate so much time to it,"
Terra noted.

 > IT HAS, ER, ITS PERKS, IF YOU MUST KNOW.
 
 Hmm... I wonder what those might be...

I need to read more Discworld novels. ^_^

 > "I'm alive right now," Darien insisted, "and you're not going
 > to make me die of terror, okay?!"
 >
 > Death nodded. YES, I SUPPOSE TERROR IS TOO MUNDANE. PERHAPS
 > YOU SHOULD DIE OF BUBONIC PLAGUE...
 
 Eeooww...

^_^ Rather unpleasant, true...

 > THEN HOW DOES DERMATITIS SOUND?
 >
 > "Dermatitis?!" Darien asked incredulously. "Nobody dies of
 > dandruff! How about old age, years and years from now?"
 
 <Death> NO. FROM OTHER PEOPLES DANDRIFF.

Maybe I should have a scene later where Death can't come and
Dermatitis seeks to claim a life... ^_^

 > TWO THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY.
 >
 > "Two thousand three hundred and seventy five?"
 >
 > YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL!
 
 I wonder if that'll come back to haunt him later... Hmm...

Well, when he comes to collect in two thousand, three hundred and
seventy-five years...

 > Atop his floating white horse, the black-robed figure pulled
 > out a very large hourglass, about a foot and a half high and seven
 > inches in diameter. Parts of it had strange and ugly symbols scrawled
 > across it, but over those, large pink and red bows had been tied.
 > Inside, a dull pile of black sand on the receiving end was topped by
 > a few sparkling grains of gold. A very, very tiny patch of brightly-
 > colored specks slowly trickled down from the top.
 >
 > AH, YES. HER. NOT LONG NOW, AND IT'LL BE ABOUT TIME. NOT EVEN
 > MOST GODS LIVE THAT LONG. TOO BAD, REALLY. SHE WAS JUST GETTING
 > INTERESTING.
 
 Wouldn't it be simply TERRIBLE if she didn't keep her appointment, hmm?

Oh, ever so terrible. And what would her mother say if she were to miss
such an important and fate-determining meeting? ^_^

 > Hope THAT one was worth wading though the C&C response to get to. ^_^
 >
 T'was indeed. I wonder if anyone has ever accused Death a being a whiner...
 probably wouldn't be good idea... kinda like calling ASK a pansy...

Death tends not to worry much about piddling human affairs. Everyone
reports to him eventually. He can be cheated but never denied...

 Anyway, nice little add-on. Closure is always good, especially when it runs
 with a good twist on a classic Pratchett gag. Keep up the good work!

I like Pratchett's stuff. It's the latest material I've been studying in 
order to
improve my writing skills.

Early on, I used a lot of ultra-parody stuff on DiC-dubbed Sailor Moon, meshed
with Monty Python.

One of these days, I'll be able to develop a style of my own, something I
can truly be proud of.

Thanks for the commentary! It's greatly appreciated!

-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com

    "We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
     We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
     Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
     Resistance is and always has been: Futile."

Collective works available at:
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html

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