----- Original Message -----
From: "Sam Vilsmeier" <syp104@email.psu.edu>
To: "FFML (E-mail)" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 26, 2002 8:08 PM
Subject: [FFML] [fanfict][Xover]Ranma/SM][1st Draft]Awkward
Consequences: Chapter 7

Well, I've only (relatively) recently picked up on this story, but
I've liked what I've read so far.

So, lets see if I can be useful in helping to C&C it.

<Snip!>

Awkward Consequences
Chapter 7: Trust
PsyckoSama (syp104@psu.edu)

"Err... hi!" exclaimed Ranma in surprise.

Hotaru could not help but shutter as a chill of apprehension and

panic

I think you want "shudder" and not "shutter".

slowly made its way up her spine. This was a very bad thing.

<Snip!>

She looked over to her lover, and found her own fears reflected in

his girl

forms liquid-blue eyes. Slowly their hands met under the table. What

ever

I think it's "form's" and not "forms".

happened, they were in it together.

<Snip!>

"Ranko-san?" The outer most Senshi turned her head toward the two

teens. Her

features slowly softened as she saw the unease in the two youths

eyes. With

a small smile on her face, which was now devoid of all obvious

negative

emotion, she turned back to Michiru. "Yes, I know Ranko-san."

Hmmm.....  Perhaps you may wish to consider changing "the unease in
the two youths eyes." to "the unease in the eyes of the two youths."?

<Snip!>

Setsuna smiled as shook her head. She had absolutely no idea why the

hell

Ranma was here, but if they kept this lovey-dovey crap up, their

cover would

be blown like Mount St. Helens on a bad day. She really needed to

talk to

them alone. She winced as another pan of page screamed its way

through her

cranium. God, this thinking was aggravating her hangover.

Errr, "pan of page"... ?

<Snip!>

"Where are you to going anyway?" questioned Michiru.

Both Hotaru and Ranma opened their mouths to give an excuse, but

Setsuna cut

them off. "Oh, give the kids some privacy."

"Setsuna..." grumbled Haruka, before Michiru cut her off.

"Haruka," Michiru interrupted, "Setsuna is right."

The blonde Senshi rolled her eyes, "I know that, I just hate being

in the

dark about things. They're making it sound like some strange

conspiracy."

"Actually, that's exactly what it is," replied Setsuna, "Now that

you know

of our secret plan, we're going to have to have you deprogrammed..."

Sometimes, the best way to lie is with the truth.

"Setsuna-mama has been watching the X-Files again," said Hotaru, as

she

shook her head.

"What? So I think David Duchovny's hot."

Fortunately for Ranma's state of mind, Sestuna decided not to remind
Hotaru of the time Michiru and Haruka had been drinking before she
watched a re-run, during which her fellow Outer Senshi had chanted
"Strip! Strip!" whenever Sculy could be seen.

<Snip!>

Setsuna slowly shook her head, "Don't worry about Hotaru's eating

habits. In

a couple of months, you're going to be putting more effort into

keeping the

pantry stocked then making sure she eats enough."

A pregnant (young) woman *and* a Saotome in the same household....
Oh, the local grocery stores are going to *definately* be in the black
for the next few months.

<Snip!>

Hotaru sighed and irritably shook her head. As she exited to room,

she was

heard grumbling. "Sandals my ass..."

She's a bit more irratable/forceful than usual, neh?

<Snip!>

Setsuna laughed dryly. "Another thing you learn with age, 'Not

everything is

as it appears to be'... and flattery will get you nowhere, mister."

Ranma rolled his eyes, she was sounding like Cologne. "Oh great, not

another

Old Ghoul..." as soon as the word left his mouth, his face bent into

a

twisted smiled. Did he just say that out loud.

I can never quite decide if the Saotome Foot-In-Mouth disease is
genetic, or if Ranma just has it due to being on the 10 year training
journey with Genma.

"What did you call me?" hissed Setsuna.

Ranma gulped and quickly garbled out, "I-said-nothing-absolutely

nothing!

I-thing-your-oh-so-beautiful-young-lady!"

Hmmm.... you might want to change it
"I-said-nothing-absolutely-nothing!
I-think-you're-an-oh-so-beautiful-young-lady!"

<Snip!>

Haruka and Michiru looked at each other as the room cleared.

Haruka sighed and asked herself, "Are they lovers?"

"Most defiantly," replied Michiru.

I think it's "definately", not "defiantly"

"You do realize that she's also sleeping with her *brother*..."

added

Haruka.

Michiru sighed, "Who knew Hotaru-chan, would grow up to be a

hentai..."

Haruka nodded. "The girlfriend I can handle, but a boyfriend too?"

Both lesbians looked at each other, and in one voice said, "Yuck..."

*Snort*

Well, at least they don't think that Ranma, Hotaru, and Ranko are a
menage a trois.

You know, it's a bit surprising that Ranma hasn't reacted - or seemed
a bit off-balance - with Hotaru calling two different women "mama" and
a third woman "papa".  Then again, this *is* Ranma.

<Snip!>

"I understand," said they young martial artist.

I think "the" and not "they".

<Snip!>

Setsuna nodded to her adopted daughter. "Yes, while he's a crudely

behaving

chaos magnet who leaves nothing but madness and wreckage in his

wake..."

Off-camera, The Apprentice patted Nyarlathotep on the back.

"C'mon, an Outer God shouldn't cry!  Okay, so he's got more natural
talent when it comes to causing chaos and driving people mad than you
do.  Look on the bright side, with him in Japan - and occasionally
other parts of Asia - you can concentrate more on the other
continents!"

"Hey!" interjected Ranma

"...he is also one of those precious few individuals who possesses a

pure

and honest heart. If he gives you his word, he'll never..."

Setsuna's face

twisted into a small smirk, "...'squeal'."

"What are you two talking about?" inquired Ranma.

Hotaru gulped. She would have to tell him, but this was not the time

or

place. She was happy that she was given permission, but at the same

time,

she was hesitant. If he didn't think she was a freak before, would

this

change his mind? "I'll tell you later. This is not the place."

I can think of a few possible reactions:

"<long pause> Hotaru-chan, if we're going to be married, I have to ask
you if you can find a way of transforming that won't give other people
a free peep show."

"So you know Martial Arts Cheerleeading and Hidden Weapons Style too?"

"Too bad Oyaji can't be trusted to keep this a secret.  If he knew you
were a Ki-Master like Herb and Saffron, he might get off my back about
you not being a martial artist."

<Snip!>

Setsuna lifted her arms, refusing the card. "Keep it. 100,000 yen is

not

enough for a ring worth of a girl like Hotaru. That card has a one

million

yen limit. Just buy what you want and pay me back later. Consider it

a

 lone."

I believe you want "loan" and not "lone".

<Snip!>

Ranma shrugged. "For a moment, I thought you were like one of my

'fianc�e's'

sisters... You know, manipulative, cold hearted, cheap..." A Shojo

wooden

mallet, courtesy of Setsuna, interrupted Ranma's speech.

Starts to sing along with the song

"But don't be sad,
    Don't be sad,
'Cause two out of three ain't bad."

<Snip!>

Setsuna sighed, and turned to Hotaru. "As I was saying, he's a good

kid but

need to be house broken. I think you could pull it off... oh, and

you kids

should cut down on the lovey-dovey crap in front of the others. It

might

expose you."

"That is, of course, if you don't end up exposing each other."
Sestuna muttered quietly to herself.  "Damn teenagers and their
hormones."

<Snip!>

She sighed, and rubbed her temples. "Look... you two just get the

ring and

have fun with the rest of that card's account." She turned to Ranma

and

continued, "I want you to swear to me that you'll protect and fight

at

Hotaru's side no matter what the cost."

Ranma blinked, obviously confused by the idea of Hotaru in battle.

"What do

you mean?"

Her eyes narrowed, "Swear to me, Saotome Ranma!"

Ranma, while still confused, consented, "Okay. I swear"

Well, it's nice to see that Sestuna hasn't suddenly changed so much
that she isn't trying to do some damage control, and gain an advantage
for the Senshi from this situation.

<Snip!>

"Good," said Setsuna with a long sigh. Talking to herself, as much

as

anyone, she said, "Well, I'm going to get out of here. I have a

splitting

hangover to nurse, and if I don't get an Espresso in the next

forty-five

seconds, I'm going to scream..." With a shrug and a wave, she

started away

from the youths. "Arrivederci..."

Unfortunately, the waiter at the restaurant Sestuna went to was a
strong proponent of the "Snot French Restauranter" school of thought.

"Dead scream"

Unfortunately, that is, for the waiter.

<Snip!>

She smiled and gazed at her lovers face. They still had so much to

learn

I think you want "lover's" and not "lovers".  Although, given Ranma's
curse I suppose it could be argued either way. :-S

about each other, but the more she learned, the more similar their

lives

appeared to be.

'We can be weapons of mass destruction together!' Hotaru giddely
thought to herself.

<Snip!>

"A ring?" Her eyes narrowed, and she looked Hotaru dead in the eyes,

and

asked, "What's he like in bed?"

Both Hotaru and Ranma blushed beat red. After a moment, much to

Ranma

unvoiced objection, Hotaru said, "It's the name."

Naru blushed beat red and smiled. "Wild Horse... Oh my!"

LOL!

<Snip!>

"No problem," said Naru as she ran through the ring out process.

When she

was done she looked to Ranma, and handed him a slip and the receipt.

"Well,

Saotome-san, sign this and the ring is yours."

Ranma blinked and looked at the credit card. It had his name on it.

How did

she... Ranma shook his head. No, he would find that out later.

Ranma just hoped that this Sestuna didn't practice the same form of
Financial "martial" arts that the guy with the hand-puppet had.

<Snip!>

Ranma did not really like the sound of that, but kept silent. The

two walked

for a little while until Hotaru stopped in front of a large building

with a

semi-secluded entrance. "This will do." She mumbled.

"What..." inquired Ranma, and he looked at the sign above the door.

"You

have got to be kidding me!" he exclaimed. This was a cheap hotel.

Let me guess a "love hotel"?

Hotaru sighed. "Ranma, we need privacy for this."

Ranma gulped, and said, "Okay."

With little else said, the two entered the hotel. Unfortunately the

did not

enter unobserved. Across the street a blond with a red bow in her

hair had

seen the whole exchange.

Minako's hand quickly darted to her wrist communicator.

"Matoko, you will not believe what I just saw!"

Nice to see the Inners only use their Senshi communicators for
*important* things. :-S

Ah well, at least it hasn't filtered back to Nabiki or the other Usual
Suspects of Nerima.

Yet.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter,

The Apprentice


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