----- Original Message -----
From: "The Apprentice" <apprentice@attcanada.net>
To: "Sam Vilsmeier" <syp104@psu.edu>; "FFML (E-mail)" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 26, 2002 7:43 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfict][Xover]Ranma/SM][1st Draft]Awkward Consequences:
Chapter 7

I'm too lazy to go through and do an in-depth right now, so I'll just point
out the two big things that bugged me, which it looks like you didn't hit:

"A ring?" Her eyes narrowed, and she looked Hotaru dead in the eyes,

and

asked, "What's he like in bed?"

Both Hotaru and Ranma blushed beat red. After a moment, much to

Ranma

unvoiced objection, Hotaru said, "It's the name."

Naru blushed beat red and smiled. "Wild Horse... Oh my!"

LOL!

Yeah.  It's funny how Naru knows Ranma's name, isn't it?  Nobody told her what
it was... ^_^;

So, that needs to be fixed... gotta have the introductions first.

"No problem," said Naru as she ran through the ring out process.

When she

was done she looked to Ranma, and handed him a slip and the receipt.

"Well,

Saotome-san, sign this and the ring is yours."

Ranma blinked and looked at the credit card. It had his name on it.

How did

she... Ranma shook his head. No, he would find that out later.

Eh.  This clip is close enough, even if it doesn't include the price.  The
problem with the ring is that not only did Ranma have more than enough to buy
it, without using the card (it was 40,000 yen, he had 100,000 yen), but 40,000
yen isn't that nice a ring.  At 1usd = 120 yen (somebody said that was the
current rate in #shards, I didn't check it myself), the ring cost $333.33.
That's pretty cheap, IMO.  Sounds like something I'd go for, but Setsuna is so
gonna kill him.  -_-;

I'd at least recommend multiplying the cost by ten.  $3333.33 seems a lot to
me, although I don't have a clue how much such things go for.

Anyway, that's all.


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