Great ending. IMO you might consider shortening it (What? YOu expected me to suggest something else?^_^) But since this is basically a set up for poor Ryouga (Classic ending, BTW) I think it might be better if you picked up the pace just a tad.

I’ll give a couple of examples of what I’m talking about.
My comments@@ (And ALL IMO ONLY!)
Take what you find useful, ignore the rest.


<SNIP>


--------------------

"Young lady, when I talk to you, look at me!"

Sasami raised her head for a moment, saw her father's angry expression,
and looked down again.

<SNIP>
*****

"How does one go about locating a lost pet on this planet?"

@@THIS is where you should have started. Whatever info needed from your
original intro could be given later.


EXAMPLE: 
    “How does one go about locating a lost pet on this backward planet?”

Not a question Tenchi expected to hear from the King of Jurii. But then he
hadn’t expected the King, until a battle-station took up orbit above his
house.


@@NOTE: I changed “great-grandfather” to king just to introduce him as simply as possible. NOT a necessary change, but an example of how to cram in as much information as quickly as possible. ^_^

@@@@


    “Errr . . . normally they call the animal shelters, hang up posters with pictures,” he paused a moment, looking out over his ruined garden. “Not too many use an armored brigade though,” he winced as a 
Mark IV Fire-Devil assault vehicle rumbled through his carrot patch.


@@Again, NOT necessary as I’ve done it, but an example of squeezing info in as quickly as possible. In this case I used a bit of humor to show the reader how over the top the story was going to be.
@@@@



Tenchi gulped. The last thing he expected was that his great-grandfather
would come to him for advice. Fortunately, the answer was not difficult.
"Normally people hang up posters with pictures of the lost pet. Sometimes
they offer a reward."

"Excellent! I shall see to it immediately."

Azusa took Tenchi's advice to heart, and soon every telephone pole in town
was plastered with pictures of the missing ferret. What the young man was
not aware of was that the Emperor of Jurai never did anything by halves.
He had also placed an advertisement in every single newspaper in the
country.



@@Now in this case, why not “the world”? Plus cable TV, the internet, etc.
etc.  Sky-writing, robot-town-criers . . .maybe painting messages on the face of the moon. ^)* This is a perfect opportunity to go over-the-top. 



 
*****

"I'm going to call her again, and if I get that damn machine this time I'm
going over there and smashing it!" The sounds of a phone being dialed
followed that muttered statement, and soon the phone on the other end was
picked up.

@@Don’t need “The sounds . . .picked up.” Understood from context. Slows the scene.


"Azusa, you're late! Practice was supposed to start--"

"Hello! You've reached Azusa's house. I'm very, very busy right now,
taking care of my little Philomena. Leave a message, and I'll call you
back later. Bye!"

Mikado Sanzenin hung up the phone so hard that it nearly fell off the
wall, and grabbed his jacket. Ever since Azusa had found her new pet,
their practice sessions had gone completely downhill. Either she didn't
show up, or she had that damned thing with her. It was time he did
something about it.

As the angry young man headed for the exit to the skating arena, he passed
a series of benches. Someone had discarded a newspaper on one of them,
and it was opened to an advertisement.

"MISSING! Reward!" That normally wouldn't have stopped him for a moment,
considering how focused he was on his mission, except for the picture that
accompanied the words. It was a picture of the bane of his existence: a
small ferret.


@@Too much tell, not enough SHOW:
EXAMPLE::

"Hello! You've reached Azusa's house. I'm very, very busy right now,
taking care of my little Philomena. Leave a message, and I'll call you
back later. Bye!"

@@NOTE: I’d play around with this a bit. It seems too tame for Azusa. ^_* You may not be able to improve it (I couldn’t) but it’s worth taking another look or two.
@@@@

Mikado Sanzenin smashed the phone down so hard that it bounced off the
wall. Ever since Azusa had found her ‘little Philomena’,
practice sessions had gone completely downhill. If she wasn’t late, she didn't show up at all,  or worse she had that damned thing with her. It was time he did something about it.

Slamming out of the skating rink he saw a discarded a newspaper with a full
page add covering the front page.

    "MISSING! Reward!" 

    With a picture of . . .Philomena.


@@@@

@@ A little re-arranging, but mostly making the action a little more immediate and showing Mikado’s emotions through his actions. For instance, why have the phone “nearly fell” when you can have it fall or
explode or burst into flame. ^_^ Active voice, immediate, forceful. Don’t be shy about breaking things. ^_* And I'd leave exactly WHAT the pet is or looks like a mystery for as long as possible. For instance, let he reader think it really IS p-chan, or could be. Or the lost pet really IS p-chan or spring of drowned-lost-Jurii-pet? ^_*






*****
<SNIP>

@@Good stuff all ‘round and a nice story. Better, IMO, if you make it
more ACTIVE rather than passive voice. And speed it up a bit to this
final line. ^)^ Wonderful ending. 

"CHARLOTTE!"

Ryoga groaned. Perhaps he should have allowed Akane to kill him.
                                 

@@Again, I’d keep it short and sharp. 

Rouga groaned. He should have just let Akane kill him.

But it works either way. 


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http://karaohki.anifics.com
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You could turn this way,
I'm also lonely
this autumn evening

Basho




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