Ranma chucked and scratched his head. With a big, silly look on his face,
he
said, "Hotaru-chan, do you know you're naked when you do that?"

Ranma chuckled...     IMO I would either change look to grin or take out

the

big.  A big, silly look just doesn't sound right

I'll take a look....

Hotaru gawked blankly at him, and slowly rubbed under her nose.

Getting the point, Ranma did as well. When he felt blood, he quickly

wiped

it clear. "Sorry bout Hotaru, it's just that that transformation is just,
well, kinda erotic, and that costume is so... sexy."

"Sorry 'bout that Hotaru...

^_^;

Hotaru stood in place, utterly dumbfounded, blushing a brighter shade of
scarlet then most would think physically possible.

The two stood in place for a moment or two, then Ranma spoke up. "So...
you'
re a Magic Girl. No prob' there...."

Personally, I think Magical Girl sounds better.  Magic Girl makes it sound
like she's made of magic instead of flesh, but that may just be me.

I like magic girl...

"I am weapon, Ranma. I can destroy the world if I want to. That was why
Sailor Saturn was created, to be a kind of twist Mutually Assured
Destruction tool. I can end all life on Earth."

"I am a weapon...        ...twisted Mutually...

^_^

Ranma did not allow Hotaru to continue her sentence. "No buts, even if ya
turn into... what every ya turn into, you're still you. It doesn't matter
one bit."

...whatever...

woops...

The pigtailed youth sighed and looked down, his face showing clouded with
sadness. "Hotaru, nothin's ever been easy for me. No matter what I do

take out showing  ...his face clouded with sadness sounds better

Ok

Ranma shrugged. "It's a long story... a very long story... Anyways, I

One of these days you should share all these long stories he keeps
mentioning =')

I will... some a side storys, some he will tell, and some he'll run into...

Nuku-nuku I'll tell you now, and add in later.

If you've ever seen Nuku-Nuku, she's Nerima's OTHER local master of
properity damage...

 They've met... ; )

*Cherry* It is Fate...

off. "I just thought there would be something about you that was just
wasn't
normal, because I don't do normal. It's just not in my karma. I was

...that just wasn't normal...

oops...

know if he did. You can't honestly say that you love someone if you don't
really know what love is in the first place.

Love... he didn't really know what it was. He never had any definite
experience with it, at least in the romantic sense! He had thought

I would cut the first sentence of this new paragraph.  It's just

repetition

from the previous paragraph.

Ok.

Looking good.  Can't wait for more

AOK. It'll be a while. I want to continue other ficts, and I have a
Ranma/Red Faction Xover in my head and it will not leave...

- Sama


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'