Rumiko Takahashi owns Ranma 1/2 and all its characters.  Poor people make 
poor targets for legal lawsuits.

Doomed
Spamfic

    Ranma was doomed.
    "What do you mean it can't be reversed?!" he had all but shouted at the 
Jusenkyou Guide last week as the portly man was studiously examining him.
    "No cure, Honored Sir.  Curse like this strong.  Mix with no curse boy, 
become no cure boy.  Happen before."  He made sucking sounds with his tongue 
and two front teeth and he pored over the near-hysterical teenager.
    Sighing, Saotome Ranma scrubbed himself clean in the hotel bath, ignoring 
the looks he received from a few of the other guests.  The curse was bleeding 
over to his normal body, and that was beginning to annoy him.  A lot.
    He was definitely not looking forward to going home to Japan.  He was 
going to be treated as a freak, an outcast, a pariah.  And it was all oyaji's 
fault for dragging him off to some damnedable place -- hell, some damnedable 
country -- where he couldn't speak the language of the natives!  What kind of 
boneheaded idiot did that sort of thing anyway?  And he only turned into a 
panda bear for his troubles.  That would have been easier to deal with that 
his curse.  And speaking of which, once he got slapped in the face with his 
curse, was his father upset, concerned for his son's own safety and well 
being of his only son?  Nooo... once he got a good look at him, he whooped 
for joy, bouncing around the room like some demented rubber ball, shouting 
something about fulfilling promises.
    Maybe it was all just a bad dream.
    =PINCH=
    "Ow!" he cried as he gave his cheek one good twist.  Looking at himself, 
he dourly noted nothing had changed.  Or he was an especially deep sleeper.  
Quickly he snared his other cheek between his fingers and squeezed really 
hard.
    "I'm in hell..." he grumbled in dismay as everything remained the same, 
save for a darkening buise on his cheek.

* * * * *
    Ranma was doomed.
    His father had dragged him all the way from China to Japan, just to get 
him engaged to one of his friend's daughters!  There were bigger concerns 
than some dumb marriage!  The curse had completely bled into his normal body. 
 The only real perk is he did not experience the disorientation of changing; 
however, he was half normal, half cursed. 
    All freak.
    He was positive the man's three daughters thought so, too.  The way their 
eyes stared at him ever since he walked through their front door, the 
intimidated look the youngest girl had gotten in her eyes when they sparred, 
and the shock when she accidentally walked in on him just as he got out of 
the bath tub stark naked.  It was so plain to see, particularly once the 
story of Jusenkyou was explained.  They tried to play it off as if it was no 
problem, but he knew they secretly feared him, thought him a weirdo.  They 
did not need to get into a mock contest of who was going to marry him to 
soothe his ego; he knew what he was, but he certainly did not accept it at 
all.  
    He intended on finding a cure for his curse, and soon.

* * * * *
    Ranma was doomed.
    Fourteen -- count it -- fourteen girls at school had invited him over 
their homes in three days!  Not only that, two female teachers not of any of 
his classes had asked if he would like personal tutoring at their apartments, 
as if being an outcast meant he was also stupid!  Plus the Tendos were 
getting unusually protective of their resident freak; Akane and Nabiki both 
claimed they were engaged to him!
    He really wished the females would stop putting on an act.  Why couldn't 
they admit they were disgusted with him and let it be?  He could take it, 
really.
    Of course, he had been attacked by several boys throughout the course of 
the day, including that damned annoying Blue Dumber, or whatever the hell he 
called himself.  Some of his attackers kept saying something about their 
girlfriends running when he was around.  Like he could help being a monster!  
He didn't have a choice!  If he could wish away the curse, he would in a 
heartbeat!  But in the meanwhile, he had to keep knocking the boys into 
unconsciousness, some more forcefully than others.
    However, every time he got into a fight and won, any girls nearby would 
coddle and coo over him like a bunch of mother hens, and it was really 
pissing him off.  After the umpteenth fight and coddle, he could not take the 
phony attention anymore and vaulted over the school gates, running in a 
random direction away from the school as fast as his legs would take him.
    Eventually, he collapsed onto soft green grass down by a slow-moving 
riverbed.  Tiredly, he examined the face that did and did not belong to him.  
The hair, the skin, the height, the... well, _that_ there -- it did not 
belong to him.  He was Saotome Ranma, but that was not Saotome Ranma looking 
back at him!  He wanted to weep, but could not.
    "Why me?" he questioned the not-Ranma in the river.  "Why did I have to 
get this damned curse?  Why?!"  His body visibly shook from frustration.  
    He heard someone -- corection, several someones -- come up behind him.  
Slowly he turned around, expecting the girls from school to have followed him 
here.  However, his heart nearly took leave of his body as he found himself 
staring at eight Amazons wearing those short-short banner dresses and big 
smiles.  He and oyaji had wandered into their village after Jusenkyou.  They 
had attacked him, and he beat them all after getting over his initial 
surprise of outright hostility.  Then the guide was talking to oyaji while he 
was checking on the unconscious girls.  Next thing he knew oyaji had grabbed 
him by the hand and ran like hell.  Why, he never found out, nor did he want 
to after the incident.
    He rose up, preparing for a fight.  However, he did not expect the girls 
to suddenly cry out "Airen!" and throw themselves onto him.  He froze solid 
as they nuzzled him and latched onto his various limbs.
    One of the girls, a lavender-haired girl, grinned up at him like a 
Cheshire cat.  "Airen, is myth true what they say you?"
    What the hell was Airen?  Probably Chinese for "freak."
    "Yeah, it's true," he sighed, not really having the energy to try and 
refute these girls like those at school.
    The girls squealed in glee.  Ranma had no idea why they were so happy 
over a freak like him.  Did they have some weird ritual to kill outcasts like 
him to appease some angry tribal god?  They seemed especially happy to 
finally find him, though.  And some of them were groping about some places a 
little too uncomfortable -- or pleasing, rather.
    "We take home to China!  Come, Airen!"
    Well, he would go along with them, if only to try and find a cure for his 
curse.  There was one out there somewhere, he was sure of it.  But first 
thing's first, as his stomach gurgled, reminding him it dictated his eating 
preferences ever since he had gotten his curse.
    "Hey, girls, mind if we stop for some fried chicken first?  I'm starving."
    "Yes, airen!"
    He sighed as they started to sing something in Chinese.  Why did he have 
to fall into the Spring of Drowned Southern Black Man?

=END=


    Well, this is intended as humor, but I think it was getting a little more 
weighty as a I wrote it.  I got the idea this morning after remembering 
someone -- Gary Kleppe? -- making a comment about writing more than just a 
quirky spamfic about Ranma simply getting a new and different curse, and he 
mentioned my name (?!?).  Well, he was refering to Adrian Thymes, but I'll 
admit, it did stick with me, wondering if I was going to do that sort of 
thing, what would it be about?  Well, this is an answer.    
    In case someone didn't get it, Ranma's reaction to being half black, I 
took it from Peach Girl, where someone with darker skin is generally seen as 
a bad person, and the main character -- forgot her name -- tans like a 
marmallow over a campfire.  Of course, there's also a flipside that everyone 
else takes; I've heard, they love black people in Japan, often because they 
think they all rap, have sexual tools the sizes of which they can only read 
about in hentai, and are sex gods in bed, or something of the like.
    Well, if they're comparing to the average Japanese man, that's more than 
likely true. ^_^;;  No offense meant, of course, just stating what I'm told.  
People are still people, and they do defy the stereotypes.
    Of course, I had to make them true for Ranma's case, hence happy Genma.  
If _that_ wasn't enough to make Ranma a Man Amongst Men, I fear to know what 
Nodoka's been doing in her spare time... O_O;;;
    I hope you've enjoyed this spamfic.  I know I'm far behind on my other 
projects, which I am still working on.  I've been busy trying to generate 
more income and other ideas, like an online comic I've been toying with for 
sometime, as well as a webpage to sell art prints.  Plus, I've been 
Storytelling a Mage game (which I plan to end in a week or two; only two 
players, and I had gotten too clever), and there's that whole "dating" thing 
I've been working at for the last few months.  Whenever I'm not doing any of 
that, I'm generally devoting as much energy as possible to getting through 
Kasumi 1/2 Chapter 7 (I really need a new name for that story -- suggestions 
are appreciated).  It is shaping up better than I expected, though, it still 
feels a little klutzy as some points.
    One more thing.  If anyone happens to have a copy of a story I once toyed 
with called Akunen, a dark/lime fic, could you privately mail it to me?  
    Enough from me.  I need sleep, and now.
    


Adrian D. Rainman

"What in Metallia's name happened to you?" Beryl demanded.

Jadeite groaned and levered himself up off the floor.  "They're monsters!"

"The Senshi?"

"Those aren't Senshi!  Senshi use spells, not that punch-kick thing they were 
doing!  They took out my strongest youma in a few seconds, and then when I 
went to destroy them myself, Mercury, who isn't even supposed to HAVE 
offensive attacks, _kicked_my_ass_!"

Beryl sweated.  "Maybe we should hold off for another thousand years."

- A Ramna/SM spamfic, written by Christopher Angel

My fanfiction can be found at <
http://rakhal.com/florestica/raemowse/index.html>



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