Woo-hoo! Long and detailed C&C! I love this stuff.
Sorry I took so long to get back to it, but... Well,
it should have given you some breathing room, in any
case.
Oh, before we begin:
http://www.darwinawards.com/ <== The Darwin awards. ^_^
Amazing how these things happen.
I'm sure in their minds, what they were doing seemed perfectly normal
and logical. ^_^;;
And I really REALLY wish I knew what happened to Mark Doherty. I've sent
him
an email or two praising his work, "I'm Here to Help," but he hasn't
responded. I want to know how it ends, damnit! ^_^
I wonder sometimes, too. I was out of it when it comes to fan fiction
for a while, and while I was, he kinda disappeared.
...
Where's Benares, for that matter? ^_^
Hmm. A few months and a bit of work brings us the third
part of a theoretical 4-5 part series.
You're doing better than I. Then again, I've been creating websites
recently, and most of my free time has been going to that...and that evil
fusion of a game known as "Kingdom Hearts." One should not have Donald
Duck
in your Final Fantasy type party kicking ass...but it's so cool! ^_^
I've got Neverwinter Nights and I also recently got a PS2. >_<;;;
And that's BESIDES school and homework. ^_^;;;
Only because people said they wanted it continued was
it continued... And this is the result.
^_^
If the pilot chapted had bombed, I'd have abandoned the project and
gotten "Going at it like rabbits!!!" done a lot earlier. ^_^
Funky mists swirled in the secret hideout of the Witches Won
and the Wizards Too. Doctor Dementoe plunked away on the horribly
%*Dead puppies aren't much fun...*%
That man had some really wacked songs on his show.
Demento sure had some demented songs. ^_^
"WHADDAYAHMEANYADONWANTAUSEDAJADEMONKEY?!!?!?!" Subcomandante
Chidisyte screamed into the Deathbusters' telephone, nearly crushing
the reinforced carbon fiber receiver in her hand. "We went ta AWL
THAT trubble, n' NOW you sez you wanted da Holy Grail-Moon Chalice-
thingamahjiggar!"
<Dementoe> Ve shall have zat book Dr. Jones!
Nothing like a NAZI commander to smooth the wheels of motivation.
Or something to that effect. ^_^
Doctor Dementoe laughed quietly to himself as he examined the
data on the yellowing computer in front of him. He glanced at the
sixteen-year-old woman with pink hair that was his commander, then
noticed an odd buzzing in his head. "Zhee faeries are bak, it
zheems." He turned to the long-haired man lying on the couch. "Iz it
nut zho?"
<Soldier> They killed Fritz! Those lousy stinking yellow faeries killed
Fritz! Take that! *blam, blam*
That was probably the most violent cartoon I'd ever seen in my
life when I first watched it. ^_^
"Yeah, stupid fairies," Professor Kalypsoe groaned and turned
over, still trying to catch a few zees after not having slept a wink
in the past couple weeks. "Never let me get any rest." He held his
head. "@#$^#@ buzzing and your @^@#$^& Swiss accent..."
Surprsing he even hears anything if he hasn't slept that long.
He has unusual fortitude, but even that's gotta have its limit.
"Eet'z FRENCH!" Dementoe protested, his eyes aflame behind his
goggles.
"Yeah, whatever. Pardon MY French, too, buddy."
Heheheheheh. Reminds me of the Cleric in Neverwinter, "Oh, Pardon my
Elven."
It's a grand olde saying. ^_^
"So, you can appreciate our dire situation." Tomoe added with
a sigh. "Chidisyte, we need you and your men. If you can complete
just another couple missions for us, I can arrange to have a few
daimons created to place under your command for support in battle."
It's bad when you have to contract out to get Evil done. ^^
Mercenaries can be so unreliable. If you want something done right,
you've gotta do it yourself. ^_^
"Daymans?!" Chidisye screeched, bits of the phone falling out
from between her fingers. "Aye don't need none a' dat hokey-pokey
funky voo-doo junk! Me n' mah guyz can handle wotevah you wants us ta
due, right, boyz!?" She turned toward her companions.
Kalypsoe snored while Dementoe shrugged.
A less than enthusistic response, but silence implies concent. ^-^
Indeed it does. Especially in such take-charge environments
as these.
Professor Tomoe chuckled lightly. "That's the spirit, girl!"
"So tell me wot'chew wants done, Doc!" Chidisyte blared,
enthusiastically munching on a chilled carrot stick. "We c'n take
it!"
Yeah! That's who they need to contract out to! Bugs Bunny! Though...even
if
he decides to help the bad guys, there's no telling what horrible fate
will
befall them in the accomplishment of their goals.
Yeah! Just ask how Bugs thwarted Elmer Fudd time and time again!
Then there were those aliens in a recent movie... but those
characters haven't been seen much since.
Worst part about it is, they'll still be alive after the fact.
Indeed. ^_^
"If you can get me someone with a pure heart, I will gladly see
to it that you are paid well. Very well indeed! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
Tomoe laughed again, long and hard. "BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Chidisyte frowned and held the phone away at arm's length while
her current employer continued to chuckly evilly and maniacally.
After eight seconds of this, she raised an eyebrow.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in
maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected
developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I like the evil overlord checklist. In storytelling, the closer
the writers get to making the villain conform to those rules, the
better of a fight the heroes can usually get.
Then again, we don't want the villains to win THAT much, so they
can't be TOO competent all the time. Besides, I don't like seeing
a favorite character permanently damaged, though it may be necessary
from time to time.
So, in the meantime, foes of awesome destructive power, but not
too smart, will work in a pinch.
"Exzelendt!" Doctor Dementoe exclaimed, adjusting his dark
goggles.
Kalypsoe turned his head. "Hmmm. Coolness." He snatched a
blanket and twirled it around his face.
Bill and Ted? ^_^
The same sort of valley-guy-ish voice, yes. ^_^
Chidisyte grabbed her drowsy subordinate as he slid to the
floor and lifted him up by the back of his collar before tossing him
in front of the lockers. "C'mon, 'Lypsie! This ain't the time ta be
fallin' asleep! We got work ta do!"
Whistling calmly, Doctor Dementoe saved his data, waited a
couple of minutes for the little light to go off on the 8-inch
floppy drive, then switched off his computer. He hobbled over to
Oh man. Those are some bad memories. Like the 5 Meg Harddrives bigger than
modern computers AND their monitors. What's worse is I seem to recall those
were still IDE standard. ^^ You could probably connect one to a modern
computer.
Amazing how far, yet so little, technology can advance, really.
grab his eight-million-volt cattle prod, yanking the cord out of
its high-yield socket.
Chidisyte cartwheeled over to her locker, disabled the blinking
security device, and turned the dial. "Six, thurtein, fortie-too."
Not really secure if you keep yelling out the combo though. ^^
True. These mercenaries aren't that intelligent, but they're
pretty tough, and can get the job done. Or, they can survive
if something goes REALLY wrong. ^_^
*Click!* The metal door swung open and the girl put away her
white labcoat, showing off her bright red spandex outfit underneath,
then grabbed one of her ultra-high-caliber gatling guns. She paused
in thought for a little while, then snatched a couple chains of
special, non-lethal rubber ammunition before closing the large
storage unit. "Yeah, the Doc wants 'em alive."
They ever heard of tranqulizers? ^^
Chidisyte obviously hasn't. ^_^
Chidisyte: Hey! Wot fun is it if I can't fire off'a couple
dozen rounds before they go down?!
She misses the point, but we changed it to "less-than-lethal"
ammunition. ^_^
"Jhow mennie do vhee needt tu capdture?" Dementoe asked.
"Eh," Chidisyte shrugged, "he just wanted someone with a pure
heart. Do we know anyone like that?"
The three Deathbusters looked at each other for a while.
"Like, Madonna?" Kalypsoe suggested.
Dementoe scratched his head. "Zherrie Lewiss?"
Weird Al!
Oooh! Good idea...
"Eh," Chidisyte shrugged, "he just wanted someone with a pure
heart. Do we know anyone like that?"
The three Deathbusters looked at each other for a while.
"Like, Madonna?" Kalypsoe suggested.
Dementoe scratched his head. "Zherrie Lewiss?"
"Or Eminem?"
"Vhierd Al Jjhankovik?"
"Naaaaah," Subcomandante Chidisyte said, dismissing the others'
suggestions with a wave of her hand, "wot we need is someone with,
like, a -really- pure heart."
"Naaaaah," Subcomandante Chidisyte said, dismissing the others'
suggestions with a wave of her hand, "wot we need is someone with,
like, a -really- pure heart."
Brittney Spears? ^_-
Oooh!
"Naaaaah," Subcomandante Chidisyte said, dismissing the others'
suggestions with a wave of her hand, "wot we need is someone with,
like, a -really- pure heart."
"Brittney Spears?" Kalypsoe suggested.
Dementoe shook his head and gazed longingly at a nearby poster
of a blonde. "No, no, nut jher. Zhe vorld ztill needs jher."
Chidisyte put her hands on her hips and growled at the others,
"Do yah need me to tell ya? Can'tchew guyz figgah anythin' out by
yahselves?! Think hard. A pure heart! Where do we get one?"
"Well, I met this nice girl in Elementary School," Kalypsoe
whispered, looking up and putting a hand to his chin, "I thought she
was kind of pure."
"Heh," Professor Kalypsoe laughed while nodding. "Yeah, she
shure did. I was in sixth n' she was in first. She had, like, this
MAJOR crush on me."
*PANG!* Subcomandante Chidisyte clocked him up the side of
the head with her chain of copper casings, sending him reeling
backward against a huge stack of LPs. "Did not, now quit sayin' I wuz
pure!" she yelled, her eyes welded shut with the hint of a blush
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAH!!!
Even though it has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the story,
I thought it might be amusing.
Subcomandante Chidisyte folded her arms and nodded. "Yeah!
We'z gonna go over to his place, blast those chicks he's got hangin'
around n' raid that temple he's got. Then we'll bring 'em in fer sum
lab x'periments. Sound like fun to y'all?"
I would pay a candy bar or two to see them try that. ^_^ Though I imagine
the idea of Skuld working on the Daimon maker, and my mind just does a
"Awe Hell nah! No way we're even GOING there," on me.
Besides, three goddesses (or just one, for that matter) would
totally MASH this trio. ^_^
Chidisyte slapped her forehead. "Hey! Wake up, Lypsie!" She
walked over and picked him up by the shirt with one hand and started
to shake him around violently. "HEY! Darkylocks! Get'cher hiney in
gear n' get up here right now!" She shook him around some more. "Quit
countin' sheep, maaan! Way-kuuuup!"
*KERACK!* Suddenly, one of Professor Kalypsoe's shoulders popped
out of its socket from the force of the girl's hold.
Ack!
I just wanted to drive home the point that Chidisyte was unusually
strong.
o_O
"Please wake up, Chibiusa-chan," the elementary school teacher
whispered, gently shaking the quietly snoozing girl.
"Huh? Whaaaat?" the little girl with a puffy pink cotton-candy
hairstyle asked sleepily, glancing around, her head still resting on
her arms on the top of the small desk.
Heh, hope no else falls asleep near her and has dreams of going to the
fair.
^_^
<Chibi> uhh...what...gah! Quit eating my hair!
<sleeping Kid> Mmmm...yummy strawberry...
That's pretty much accurate.
"I dreamt I went to the fair and had this big cone of
cotton candy, and when I woke up, my hair was gone!"
Four minutes and half a chalkboard of scribbling later, the
girl smiled and nodded to herself. "The answer is," she breathed.
"Yes?" the teacher asked.
"Is..."
"Umm-hmm?"
"Fourty-two!" Chibiusa finished dramatically, drawing a box
around her answer with four quick strokes. She turned around to
fold her arms and grin at the class.
But what was the question? ^_-
^_^ What do you get when you multiply six by nine?
Chibiusa frowned and looked back at the chalkboard, examining
her work in detail. "Integrate with respect to ex under a closed
interval... one to seven... ex squared over six... adding it all
up... Integrating with respect to why... adding all that in..." She
looked back up at the teacher. "Yup! It's fourty-two."
And no one asked how a six or seven-year-old was able to solve a moderately
difficult calculus eqation. ^^
The teacher was impressed, but she had a different lesson in mind from
the start, probably. ^_^
"Think harder," the teacher urged. "It's right under your nose."
Chibiusa hunkered down, deep in thought.
"Waaaaait," the girl finally said, narrowing her eyes as she
suddenly recognized the paradox. "This isn't a math class! It's a
SCULPTING class!!!"
It's always the obvious stuff.
I always miss the easy things. I make a lot of stupid, weird
mistakes like that. ^_^
"Heh. Why don't you @^&@%@$!!$@#?@#$^@^@^n&% go 'broaden your
horizons' looking for the exit function or maybe those @#$^@#^!@%$
Otakufic features you were bragging to me about?!"
"I wasn't bragging. And that's no fun. That'd be cheating!"
"I WANT those features, Ben!!!"
<Ben> Alright, press Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start.
<Jason> Hey! Thanks!
<Ben> Wonder when he'll figure it out.
Too bad the mysterious Otakufic program wasn't licensed by Konami. ^_^
Something suddenly occurred to Ben. "Wait a second, weren't
you that one guy who spent ten thousand dollars on an ICE hardware
debugger to hack the latest Unreal Online Tournament to give yourself
unlimited ammo?"
Unlimited ammo! Because reloading takes too long!
Yeah! Why play fair when you've got perfectly good cheat codes
to help you along?
If you start losing, and if it's against the computer, and if
it's an easy program to hack... Hey, why not? ^_^
"No," Jason replied, "but whoever he was, he sure had the
right idea! We're gonna need a lot more firepower than this kid's
dinky 'Pink Sugar' thingy. A whole @#!%!@# of a ton more!"
You can never have enough boom-booms. ^_^
Indeed. ^_^
Chibiusa listened with chagrin to the inner conversation.
"There, now you go dig those @#$^!#!$>!!<!%* up."
those should probably be 'that' when using such explitives. As in "now
you
go dig that fucking shit up!" unless he said something else like "those
fucking features." *sigh* There is just something odd about describing
the
proper usage of explitives when, as they are expletives, don't even have
proper verbage. ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
I think he meant "$%%$@^$&@$ers," as in plural, like those "things,"
meaning the plural cheat codes, so it's still gramattically correct,
as I see it.
Just because I know what he's saying and that swearing is a common
part of world culture doesn't mean I have to actually write it down.
^_^
"Well," Ben replied silently, grabbing a hunk of clay and
beginning to mold it to his chosen form. "It had an invincibility
God Mode. ^_^
Hoo-yeah! Many SI people go in with that mode turned on, but are
afraid to admit it.
I mean, if you're going to engage in a lot of self-indulgence,
you might as well be honest and shameless about it. No need to
get mad when someone suggests that the plot might go better
if the SI, say, didn't win so one-sidedly all the time. That's
simply because the plot WILL go better if a character is allowed
a few weak moments from time to time and nobody feels the least
bit sorry about it.
However, I'm of the opinion that SIs can only REALLY work as
true parodies, and not pseudo-parodies. Or, it really has to
be funny to work, or it won't. ^_^
option, a users' choice of controllable Jusenkyou curses;
shapeshifting and another option to power up any character to
their maximum level: give 'em any training and all the magical
A Super Saiyan (or Ultra Human in this case I think would be more
appropriate) Chibi Usa kinda scares me.
And wouldn't a Super Eternal Sailor Chibimoon with Pegasus
enhancement frighten anyone? (People joke about the kawaii-ken
being effective, but when it's seen in action...)
"It was supposed to have this way to amplify any character's
strength and power up to a hundred times on top of their maxed-out
status. Then there was this thing that they had in alpha testing for
copying attacks from other series just by calling out its name."
The anime "Bastard" has some seriously kick ass spells. ^_^
I haven't seen that one, actually. Do you have any demonstration
video clips?
"You mean, like, casting the Dragon Slave just by saying it?"
"Yyyyyeah, probably. That's what it said."
"So what's the catch? It'd be great! I even know the words."
"I didn't see the part that told how to enable the cheat
functions."
<Jason> *hitting his head on a wall* *thunk, thunk, thunk*!
Basically. ^_^
"She goes to Mugen Gakuen," Ben noted in thought as the clay
began to take shape under Chibiusa's fingers. It was starting to look
a bit like a charicature of a seal. "She's too busy to take these
sorts of things on the side."
Just out of curiosity, where did you find out the name of the school she
goes to? I don't recall any mention of the exact name anywhere. Then
again, if they did mention it in the anime I probably wasn't paying very
much attention to that. ^^
You have to study a lot when you're writing fan fiction on the series,
even if it is just to parody it. Can't get all the in-jokes if you
don't understand it inside and out.
"Maybe we can go see her later," Chibiusa suggested. "I like
her. She's nice."
"Me too. Ben, we're going to see Hotaru afterwards!"
"Waiwai!" exclaimed Chibiusa.
Gah! ^_^
^_^ Cuteness is deadly.
"It's a term of endearment," Jason flatly lied. "Like, oh, what
a cute little spore!"
"Or," Ben added enthusiastically, "there's a pink spore at the
door. Should we let her in, or leave her to sprout on the mat?"
There's been more Chibi Usa bashing in this fic than I've seen just about
anywhere, both subtle and blatent. It probably deserves some sort of
reward, but then I think bashing Usa is a reward in and of itself. ^_-
If someone's giving out the special Chibi-basher award, send me the
.jpg and I'll put it on the site. (Or, Larry might if it looks good.)
"Oh, okay, I get it now," Chibiusa replied with a high level of
feigned comprehension.
I wonder what she'd do if she knew the prevailing opinion (at least the
opinions I've heard anyway) of the fandom at large, concerning her. ^^
If she saw it, she'd probably cry and angst about it...
But if she just heard about it, she wouldn't believe it. Children
can be stubborn that way. ^_^
"That's Usagi, taking a bath or whatever it is Japanese
people do in the tub or furo or whatever," Ben noted. "Chibiusa
takes baths with her on a regular basis."
Jason shot Chibiusa's eyes open. "What?!"
Either way, there isn't much to look at...though what you did see might
make
looking upon Cthulhu merciful. Heh.
Yup. Some things... are best left unseen. ^_^;;;
"I'm doomed," Jason moaned as the horror of the situation
settled in. "Some things I don't want to have to see..."
"We could do the mental equivalent of rolling our eyes and
try to block out all sensory perception," Ben suggested.
"Why couldn't you have gotten me into Ryouga?!" Jason lamented.
"I could've been in bed with Akane right about now!"
I'm more of an Ukyou fan myself. It's the long hair and the times when
she
doesn't bind her breasts to her body. She's not overly developed, but damn
if she's not built like a brick shit-house...with not one brick out of
place. ^_^
I like 'em all. And at the same time, I can't stand 'em.
I just shrug and let the fanfic writers sort 'em all out. ^_^
*BZZRT!* Jason took control again. "All right, then, there's
only one thing to do." He rolled out of bed, took a deep breath,
stumbled from the headrush, and trudged toward the door. He turned
aside, and...
*WHAM!!!* With Chibiusa's head imbedded deeply into the wall,
Jason lost consciousness, leaving Ben in control.
AWESOME! ^_^
Chibi-bashing! ^_^
Usagi walked in, wearing a bathrobe. Her jaw dropped at the
scene before her. "Umm, Chibiusa? Why is your head stuck in the
wall?!"
"I, uh, tripped?" The little girl tried to pull her head out,
but did not succeed. "Can you help me please, Usagi?"
And DB was right...this would work on her. ^^
Ditzy main character blondes will believe a lot, actually.
It's in their nature. Far too trusting. ^_^
~/Recap
"We get to bash her head in every single morning!" Jason said.
"What could be better than that?"
He's got a point. That's gotta rank up there in the list of things to do
in the Sailor Moon anime. ^_^
Indeed. ^_^
You can kinda like Chibiusa, if you view 'er in the right
context. I chalk the hate groups up to the first voice
actress that portrayed her.
The one that ended up doing the "Real Sugar Baby" song
actually had a really, really cute voice. Most of the
others just had an annoying little-girl voice.
"You guys had better be joking," Chibiusa muttered.
And he was right here too. At this point you almost feel sorry for
Chibiusa.
Almost. ^_^
Funny how a story like this can actually make ya, in a
roundabout way, respect the girl. ^_^
"Maybe a meditation technique would be less painful for the
poor girl?" Ben suggested while he scraped some additional details
into his clay creation. Michiru walked in from the painting studio
next door and started to wash out a small plastic water tub at the
sink in the back.
Ben smiled with Chibiusa's little mouth and waved at the aqua-
haired woman in the light-blue dress. "Hi, Michiru!"
I recall this dress. She looked quite lovely in it.
Oh, yes, she looked very nice.
According to the manga scans, Haruka looks rather good as well
in similar attire.
"Well," Ben replied silently, "we've already got a pretty big
advantage. We -do- know just about everything that's going to happen
in this series, barring any major changes we're about to inflict."
Heh, and no telling what that sort of interference might cause.
The interference has been pretty random so far. Things will go as
they did for a while, but for the last couple of chapters, things
will be REALLY different.
"It was Chibiusa's idea," Ben replied, examining the clay he'd
been molding. "Ah," he said aloud, tilting up the tray so he could
get a better view, "an ArbyFish!"
What would really scar the kids for life is if it came to life and they
started talking with it in the heavily accented English the Arby talks
in.
There are many kinds of parody... In this one, I felt that it was
going to get strange enough without an ArbyFish tossed into the mix.
That could ruin the story, because it would totally change the
flavor.
"That's very good," a nine-year-old boy standing next to them
commented. Ben faced him.
Chibiusa noticed that the boy had dark brown hair and wore
jeans and a white shirt. "Oooh! He's cute!"
I seem to recall at this point Michiru getting the evil eye from Usa here
for 'hitting on her man' or something of that nature, but then they already
drove Michiru off.
Things have already gone differently. Michiru is thinking of other
things at this point.
"Shh," Ben replied quietly, then to the boy he added in a
cockney accent, "'Ello. 'Ow are you?"
For example. ^_^
I wonder how a cockney accent translates into Japanese...
*BZZRRRT!* Chibiusa suddenly took control. Smiling dreamily,
she replied aloud, "Yeah, that's right. I'm Chibiusa. What's your
name?"
Yet instead she attracts the interest of an ancient Pegasus called Ellios.
And six fully developed, EXCEEDINGLY hot women go boyfriendless. There
is
no justice in Sailor Moon.
Pegasus actually is human at one point or another, but Chibiusa
doesn't know that at first.
Reminds me of a Dragonball Z movie... The Tree of Might. Gohan,
transformed, wasn't calmed by the voice of his own father, and
yet got all kind-ape over this little dinosaur that came along.
Massive head-slapping and groaning. ^_^
Then again, like I said before, there was a rather unsatisfying explanation
of this in Stars as voiced by Rei. Or perhaps not unsatisfying, but
certainly fucked up in the extremest sense of the phrase.
There's no good reason. It just... happened that way.
That's what fan fiction is for! ^_^
"Heh," Jason chuckled, "she sure told you off."
If Ben could have found an image of Jason, he would have glared
at it. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!"
Ah, but think of the ways they can bombard each other with images of one
choking the other. ^_^
Once they figure that sort of thing out, they'll have mastered
the art of mental dueling. ^_^
"Hey!" Ben nearly shouted. "He messed it up!"
Blushing slightly, Chibiusa watched the boy work.
"There," Masanori said, taking a step back, "now it looks more
like a cute little seal."
<Seal> Kill me.
^_-
"It's so depressing. Doesn't it depress you? It depresses me."
The boy laughed nervously with a hand behind his head. "Oh, it
was nothing."
"Yeeech!" Ben mentally spat. "Arby's turning over in his
'shroom-infested grave, he is!"
Or he would be if he wasn't congeled. Or alive again in this case. Heh.
Funny how people can talk about completely fictional characters
as real individuals sometimes. ^_^
Jason chuckled malevolently. "Well, you can at least take
comfort in the fact that he's gonna be the Deathbusters' next
victim."
Ben examined Masanori's appearance and recalled the episode
in question. "Hey, yeah, he is. The clay-whiz-guy that gets his
pure heart ripped out..."
This magical girl anime is too optimistic. The amount of people the various
enemies
find to rip their pure whatever's out is far too high.
Yup! Disaster and murder after murder is averted again and again,
just in the nick of time. They take things a bit too casually in
the SM anime, really.
*BZZRT!* Ben took control and said, "So why wait?" He reached
up in an attempt to grab Masanori by the neck with both tiny hands.
"He must pay..."
It's too bad people like this don't exist in such animes. Aside from the
comic potential, there are times when it would be really satisfying to
see this happening.
It depends on the writers. Stargate SG-1 is good at handling what
the audience wants to see, but nothing else quite matches it. So
was the movie, actually.
"Hey! Stop that!" the disembodied Chibiusa shouted.
*BZZRT!* Jason took control and said to Masanori, "Yeah, that's
good, but we're trying to improve -my- work, not yours. Thanks for
the help, but I think I should handle this one on my own."
Oh damn! Crash and burned kid. ^_^ Well, kinda.
He's young yet. He'll have plenty of time to score himself a
pink-haried beauty later. ^_^
"Of course," Jason added cooly, keeping Chibiusa's expression
neutral, inwardly twitching.
Hesitating a couple of times, as if feeling a thread of Destiny
suddenly tearing loose and thwapping him in the face, Masanori
focused back on his own sculpture.
Heheheheheh
Knowing that something's supposed to happen, and yet it doesn't...
"Hmm... This wasn't in the script!"
"It's a matter of interstellar security," Jason flatly lied.
"But seriously, Ben. You need to watch your mouth around here. Any
action you might take could, like, seriously undermine our plan for
getting out of here." He redid the outlines and other details on
the ArbyFish. It was actually starting to look like it might leap
up and start going off on a rant about mushrooms any second now.
Surprising it doesn't.
I felt it best to restrain myself in this case. Arby's not in
GAILR or Mix and Match... So why here? ^_^
"..." Ben's three dots spoke a million paragraphs of annoyance.
"My advice," the Florida-dweller continued, "is that you stay
out of this and let me handle the action. You'll just end up
embarrassing yourself or get upset and snap at people when things
don't go your way--"
I'm sensing a certain doom coming...
Anime physics: The second a supporting character starts getting
cocky, a humbling experience must happen. A lot of people miss
this in fan fiction. ^_^
*Crash!* Some boy slipped on a piece of wet clay, accidentally
throwing a very heavy metal tray full of clay into the air, which
promptly dropped its center of gravity directly onto Chibiusa's right
foot.
"@#$^#$&@#$&@#^&@^!!!" Jason yelled and grimaced in pain. He
pulled Chibiusa's foot out from under the pile of materials and
hopped around on one foot while holding the other. "WOULD YOU !@$!@#%
WATCH WHERE YOU'RE !@@#^^&@^&@ GOING, YOU @#$^#&@^#^&@@#^%@!##$ KID!"
Heh, for example. ^_^
^_^ Quite.
"YES, YOU @$#^@$&#&#@$*#**##*!!!" Jason cursed long and loudly,
gripping the window sill and kicking the wall several times with all
his might as the entire classroom watched in shock. "THAT !@#%@^?@#^
HURTS, YOU @#^%@$&^@$&@$& KNOW!!! !@!%!@#^!@#^!^#@^$#%*#$%*%$^!!!"
"A closed mouth gathers no foot," Ben quoted sagely, not
without a great deal of satisfaction.
Worthy of Minako if it didn't make as much sense as it did.
I heard it from my younger brother after I made a comment that
I don't remember now. ^_^
"Shut up!" Jason shouted in agony, grinding his teeth and
rubbing Chibiusa's small toes against the inside of her shoe, trying
to deaden the nerve endings. "&&@#%#&$%!!&^#$%($*^#&^$##!$@#$@#$&!!!"
Too bad doing that hurts worse than the initial injury.
Yeah, but in the fury of the pain, it's easy to forget that.
"Ooooh," Ben laughed, "scary."
Chibiusa wanted to tell Jason in an equally powerful fashion to
watch his mouth, but soon discovered to her horror that her small
vocabulary was insufficient to combat his colorful, extense and
experienced dictionary of obscenities.
Imagine if he knew Klingon. ^_^
Hmm... Good point. I'll have to ask him if he does. ^_^
"His father and grandfather were sailors," Ben explained. "What
were yours?"
"My mommy was a Sailor," Chibiusa replied. "She never said
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Different kind of sailor, but still. ^_^
anything like that." She thought about that. "Well, only that one
time when I was hugging Mamoru a while back."
I don't mean to say anything, but if Usagi was jealous of a girl as young
as
this, she has some serious issues...not that she didn't have any already....
Usagi's innocent and kind, but her personality has some major
drawbacks...
These are kind of explained in the SMS episode where Minako gets
her heart crystal removed.
Minako(trudges along): If the enemy can't see my purity, then
they can't be so great, can they?! (grumble, grumble)
Luna: Listen, Minako, it's true that Usagi purely loves Mamoru...
but it's also true that she purely likes eating and oversleeping.
In addition, because she hates studying, she purely wants to
skip classes. Even if you say she has a pure heart, she's
still simply a stupid girl!
Usagi(red-faced, walking behind that): Yeah, I know, I know...
I mean the fact that Mamorou was dating Rei before Usagi should really
raise
some alarm bells in the jealousy department (or the seriously warped
relationships department). How did they resolve that? I don't recall if
they did or just ignored the potential problem.
It mystically got resolved when Rei saw that they were destined
for each other.
Something like this could only have happened in an early magical
girl series like the first SM series. ^_^
^_^;;;
"They did -WHAT-?!" Professor Tomoe asked over the phone.
<Eudial> Fell into the springs. Terribly tragic story, really.
^_^
"Midgit ninja?" Tomoe echoed darkly.
"All right," Eudial stated, "it was a nine year old girl with
strange hair. She and an accomplice crashed my vehicle."
She's that old? She seemed a bit underdeveloped for nine.
I'm still trying to pin down her age. Is she more like six
or eight at this point...?
"I didn't see who was helping her, but there's something odd
about the girl that was driving." Eudial looked up at the computer
screen and typed in a few more things. "I can't seem get a match on
her. I saw her when she got out of the van and I have a very good
memory. She simply is not in any of my databases. It's like she
appeared out of nowhere!"
I take it her databases consist of whatever information is in the national
databases, including but not limited to: birth cirtificates, crimial
records, drivers liscenses, and the like?
Yeah, that about sums it up.
There was a long pause. "Very well, but..."
"What?"
"Did you leave anything in the van that could be traced back
to us? The license plate? The registration?"
Hey, good thinking on his part. ^_^
He's the sort to worry about it, since he has to pay for it. ^_^
Eudial quickly regained her composure. "Ahh, nothing whatever,
Professor. Nothing at all."
"Good. Come down to the lab when you are ready. I want to show
you something."
I won't make that joke. ^_^ You can't make me! Damnit...I won't make it...
DO IT!!! DO IT!!! DO IT!!!
Eudial nodded. "Of course, Professor." She put down the phone
and buried her face in her hands in frustration. "My drivers'
license!"
And that is more than they need.
Yup!
"-I- could've told you that," Haruka replied, grinning
slightly.
"She goes through these horrible mood swings." Michiru looked
serious. "But it seems like it's more than that. It's unnatural,
and very unnerving, like she were possessed or something."
Technically that's a very good description of what's going on.
It is, isn't it? Jarring bodily possession, promises of power,
weird suggestions... ^_^
Haruka nodded. "Yeah, I guess I can see that, too." She
shrugged. "Even though she's so young, we have to consider the
possibility that she could be with the enemy."
They have GOT to work on that one track mind of theirs. ^^
They're very work-oriented. ^_^
Michiru sighed sadly. "I certainly hope not. Many sacrifices
have already been made, but to have to get rid of a child as well..."
<Megatron> Beware Starscream. If you succeed in disposing of me, just
remember there will always be someone waiting to dispose of you.
Eudial would have done well to use that logic on Mimet. ^_^
Then she remembered the art class. "But something is definitely wrong
with her."
"Where did she learn that kind of language, anyway?"
<Michiru> Cable TV and viloent video games, most likely.
^_^ Yup!
But the funny thing is... Japanese don't seem to have swear
words. All they have are... somewhat impolite and stronger
forms of "you," and such things.
Haruka chuckled a little when she took out the license and
looked at the prized piece of laminated plastic. The photograph
had a bad picture of a moderately attractive redheaded woman with
Dark Schneider from the anime/manga "Bastard" had that right idea. Have
sex
with the women bad guys until they can take no more, and you generally
solve
any tendencies they have toward death and destruction. That man has a list
a mile long of such women he's taken care of in that fasion.
_< ouch...
That probably would have worked wonders for the Death Busters here, and
just
about every other enemy the Senshi fought now that I think about it. ^^
A desperate, interdimensional plea for help...
"The Sailor Moon Universe needs MEN!"
Guess Mamorou wasn't near good enough in that department for Berryl. ^^;;;
Well, is that really any surprise? ^_^
Michiru nodded. "We can pay her a real visit later. For now
it's more important that we find out where the talismans are."
"On the other hand," Haruka considered, "it might be useful to
know where the Deathbusters are hiding. If we could capture Eudial,
that would help. But how?"
"Hmm... I have an idea."
Heheheheheheh. Famous last words. ^_^
Quite. ^_^
"Isn't there -anything- left?" the blonde mused while going
through an in-depth search of a cupboard. Finding nothing that
she could use, she moved on to the refrigerator. There were some
Too bad the cuboards had things like canned soup and instant Ramen, but
the qualifier was anything she could use.
Stuff that would take more than fifteen seconds to make are out. ^_^
...
"Here you are, everyone!" Usagi announced to the two cats and
the other four girls in the room as she placed the pan of chicken
on the table in front of them. "Help yourselves!"
They are growing girls after all.
Funny, considering that they seem to be quite well-developed
for girls their age, really.
That's just anime physiology for ya.
At least they aren't at Disney's Pocahontas stage of overdevelopment.
^_^ (Historically inaccurate? Naaaaaaaw.)
Artemis looked at the food with his eyes full of fear. "I hope
YOU didn't make it, Usagi..."
"It was in the oven," Usagi beamed, holding up a saucy wing.
"I think Mom made it for us."
That's one of the first rules. All unattended food is fair game and will
be scavenged.
And in Usagi's house, they'd need armed guards to keep it from
getting taken.
"Ah, good," Rei sighed in relief, "then there's no problem in
eating it."
Beside Rei, Makoto developed a large drop of sweat on her brow
and edged away from the black-haired girl.
Oi? Why'd she do that?
Didn't want to get hurt if Usagi mystically picked up the hint. ^_^
Ami clapped her hands together in joy. "Right. We don't want
to get food poisoning before taking the exams, do we?"
Narrowly avoided getting food poisoning once. A few friends of mine on
the
ship were not so lucky. I recall quite clearly a couple of them praying
for
death...and they were serious. Fortunately I had a sandwich that night
instead of the Corned Beaf, that was some serious pain they went through.
Yup... If you don't die, you end up wishing you had.
Minako nodded in agreement.
Usagi, noting the cynicism, looked at her friends and asked,
"Hey, what do you mean by that...?" She held up the serving fork
menacingly.
Isn't she the kind of person you keep knives and stuff as far away from
as
possible? ^^
She and Minako, yes. ^_^
Minako discovered that she enjoyed the flavor, though it tasted
a little different than normal meals or even Kentucky Fried Chicken.
"Wow, run and run away," she quoted, "you'll never catch the chicken
man, huh?"
"Minako," Makoto said between bites, "I think your sense of
humor is running low these days..."
Or it's run so far, that out there doesn't begin to describe it. Heh.
Some things she says, you can just scratch your head and say, "Huh?"
at. ^_^
Rei nodded in agreement, and Usagi added, "True, true..."
Suddenly, there was a quick knock at the door, and in the next
instant, Chibiusa took a step inside.
"Hey," the little girl said, "anybody seen the chicken I was
keeping warm in the oven?"
And a tumbleweed flys by. ^_^
Hmm... I need to add some description there.
The temperature in the room dropped by approximately fifteen
degrees. Almost paralyzed by shock, everyone looked down at their
mostly-devoured meals of fowl. "Errrrrrrrrrrr, uhhhhhh," everyone
stuttered with their eyes wide.
After a tense moment of silence, the puffy-pink-haired girl
tilted her head and asked, "Did you know you're eating my famous
hand-made Beer-Can Chicken?"
A tiny bit better. Pratchett's so much better at describing these
things...
Everyone froze in shock and looked down at the mostly-devoured
meal of fowl. "Errrrrrrrrrrr, uhhhhhh," everyone stuttered with their
eyes wide.
After a tense moment, the puffy-pink-haired girl tilted her
head and asked. "Did you know you're eating my famous hand-made
Beer-Can Chicken?"
Hey, it's how we grill just about anything whenever anyone has a BBQ in
the
apartment complex. Marinade it for a couple days in lemon juice and garlic,
then as you're grilling dump liberal amounts of beer on it. Good stuff!
Is that limited to any specific geographic area, or is it all over
the place?
Minako shook her head in disapproval. "Ooooooooh, shame on you,
Usagi."
"Beer-Can Chicken?" Makoto whispered to herself in disbelief.
"That's a new one... Maybe sake-chicken, but beer-can chicken?"
Jack Daniels is pretty good too. ^_^ I don't recommend doing it with Yukon
Jack though.
Makoto's an accomplished cook, but probably doesn't cook with
alcoholic beverages that often.
Rei reached over and lightly flicked her index finger into the
blonde's forehead.
Usagi crashed onto her back as if hit by the force of a club.
"Traitors," she whispered in a daze.
The one inch punch. I recall watching Bruce Lee demonstrate that on a
martial arts documentary one time. Nifty technique.
Either that or Usagi is a wimp. ^_^
Both, I think. Very close friends can knock each other easily.
Chibiusa looked down at the pan. It was empty, save for a few
bones. "Wow! You sure eat quick." She looked at the others. "I'll
make some more! Stay here."
Like I said, they're growing girls. And lord, I can't wait to see what
they
grow into. ^_^_^_^_^
I haven't seen too many pictures drawn of them as adults, actually.
They're not too far off as it is.
I mean... even Usagi's figure improves later on. ^_^
The little girl walked out the door and closed it behind her.
*Wink!*Wink!* Everyone looked at each other and blinked a
couple of times. Then their digestive tracts started rumbling.
Soon afterward, the rude noise competitions began.
<Jay> Don't you know that fast food makes hot chicks fart?
Fun and appropriate quotes from the Tonight Show? ^_^
*PHARK!*
"Minako-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
"Oh, excuse me!"
*SQUARCH!*
Ah, the B33R farts!
PH34R MY B33R F4RTZ!!!
_< Ouch...
"I can't believe you guys did this," Chibiusa muttered. "What
if Ikuko-mama and Kenji-papa find out about it?"
"Then I'll offer to throw 'em a @#%@#^%~!! HUGE kegger of a
block party," Jason replied. "One they'll NEVER @#%@%!*$% forget!"
Share and Share alike. ^_^ They'd probably attract Largo and Piro from
Megatokyo as well, heh.
I've noticed that two archetypes working as a team can
make for a good story. A somewhat repressed one, and an
outgoing "enjoy life while it lasts" one can usually be
fun, as witnessed by Megatokyo, El Goonish Shive, and
many others.
Oh yes, they had managed to create a secret cache of beverages
that were most certainly off-limits to those under the age of twenty.
Or, more precisely, Jason had.
I think the legal age limit is different in Japan.
I got told it was twenty in Japan.
~Recap
"What does a @#$^#$&#^$ SPORE have to do to get some @#%@#%^
BEER around here, huh?!" Jason muttered in Chibiusa's high-pitched
That is the eternal question, is it not? ^_^ I wonder if he knows they
have
vending
machines for Beer...though the beer he might wind up with might be something
like
Asahi or Muhai Tai (sp?).
Heh. In Japan, I think they have vending machines for everthing!
"Jason," Ben chided his friend, "we're in the middle of our
first Self Insertion venture. Do you REALLY want to ruin it by
getting drunk?"
It's always better with six pack or two in you. ^_- I remember watching
Mortal
Kombat 2 quite inebriated...mediocre movie compared to the first one, but
damn
did
the music and action seem so much better drunk.
Funny how things change while one is in an altered mental state.
I was recovering from a minor surgery a while back, and I actually
sort of enjoyed playing through the 150+ hours required to finish
Dragon Warrior 7... I haven't felt the urge to go near that game
ever since. ^_^;;;
Mind you, I don't recommend watching Overfiend like that. Did that to one
guy in the Navy, and we scared him for life. ^_^
You have to be in a serious and strong condition to stomach something
like that. I don't intend to ever watch it, myself.
"Would you just @#%@$^@^@ chill out, man?!" Jason chuckled to
himself, then kicked Chibiusa's ankle when he discovered he missed
a pun. "Oops, I mean SPORE! Heh heh."
"I mean it," Ben added.
"Umm," Chibiusa began in what was rapidly becoming her typical
confused voice, "I don't drink that stuff, I don't think."
You're doing a good job of almost making me feel sorry for her. And believe
me, that's hard to do. ^_^
Odd... I didn't go into this thinking I'd improve anyone's opinion
of Chibiusa. But then, when she has to deal with a pair of SIs
inside her head, who wouldn't be? ^_^
"There, you see?" Ben asked. "She doesn't drink. And neither
do I. So you cannot have any beer, understood?"
"I just need it for something I want to cook," Jason said.
Ben was silent for a moment. "Oh. I guess it's okay, then.
You promise you won't drink any?"
<Jason> But we're in a foreign land! I must taste the vintage to ensure
it
will be
up to my high standards.
<Ben> And how much will that be?
<Jason> Eh, at least 2 or 3 cases.
<Ben> ...that's equal to the spore's body weight you realize.
<Jason> So, she'll die of alcohol poisoning. Bet Naoko didn't see THAT
one
coming...heheheheh.
Heh. Someone's been reading their webcomics, I see. ^_^
As for Chibiusa dying of alcohol poisoning... Well, sacrifices
have to be made sometimes.
Jason shrugged Chibiusa's little shoulders. "No promises, but
I'll try. Maybe." He swaggered into the nearest corner store he could
find, poked around for a little while, then snagged as many cans as
the girl's short arms could carry. "Hoo-yeah, baby, this is the good
stuff!!!"
Just out of curiosity, what brand does he consider the good stuff?
I don't know. Actually, I think he hates beer, but drinks it to
fit in with the crowd. People look down on you in Florida, apparently,
if you don't at least act like you like it.
Culture doesn't have to be in another country to be different. ^_^
"Well, maybe YOU'd only need one six-pack, but I need extra:
I've been under some serious pressure lately!"
"Like the day you came with me to this fantasy?" Ben asked.
"Honestly, self-inserting under the influence? What were you
thinking?!"
"Thinking?" *hic-up!* ^_-
Basically. ^_^
"Hey, it was a rough day after work. I needed something to
help me unwind!"
"Ah, so you admit it."
"I admit nothing."
While Chibiusa stewed off in some random corner of her brain,
she had to admit: this was definitely a new experience.
For the comedy value if nothing else. ^_^
And besides, some things are hard to find a response to. ^_^
The clerk--a twenty-eight-year-old male with a Moe-style
haircut, square glasses, and a cynical look about him--looked at the
cans, then stared at the cute little girl before him. After a moment,
he rolled his eyes and said, "You have -got- to be joking."
Jason folded Chibiusa's arms and stared seriously at him.
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
<Clerk> You want an honest answer?
Hmm...
Jason folded Chibiusa's arms and stared seriously at him.
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"You want an honest answer?"
"Just hand it over, buddy, or something bad's gonna happen."
"Listen, -kid-." The clerk pointed to a kanji and hirigana-
emblazened sign. "I know you're not old enough to know how to read,
but let me tell you something."
Unfazed, Jason added in a clear--if a bit childish--voice,
"I'm over twenty."
The clerk stuck his hand out and roughly prodded Jason in the
chest. "Hah! Then let's see some ID."
Again, I think the age limit for consumption is a bit different in Japan,
as
well as the rules concerning the sale and distribution, but what those
are
I'm
not entirely sure.
Eh, well, this is an anime fantasy. People actually shake hands
and kiss in the SM series. ^_^
Big swirls appeared in the clerk's eyes and he stumbled
backward a little. "I don't need to see your identification..."
"I'm not the Spore you're looking for."
Ol Ben Kenobi must be turning in his grave. ^_^
Must be, with such rampant bad quoting. ^_^
The clerk motioned blankly toward the door. "Move along, move
along..."
"Bwahah!" Jason laughed, shaking the umbrella and aiming it
around like an assault rifle. "I @#%^#&$@$#^ LOVE THIS @#%@#^!!@!@
THING!!!" He ceremonially blew the magical sparklies off the tip,
Shit, it's better than a Swiss Army Knife, or a Leatherman tool. ^_^
But the kid's the one who gets it. Oh well. ^_^
"Move along," the cashier repeated vacantly.
"Ben, don't you dare put that @#$^@#$ beer away!"
"This SI is too important to be ruined by your flawed,
southern drunkeness."
<Jason> What about northern drunkeness?
^_^
"BEN!!!!!" Jason screamed mentally. "YOU PICK THAT BEER BACK
UP RIGHT NOW!!!"
"This conversation can serve no further useful purpose," Ben
added. "Please remain quiet until I can get us home."
<Ben> Resistance is futile.
Ben can be focused when he asserts himself, but he is easily
abased when it's revealed that he has no idea what or why he's
doing. ^_^
*BZRRT!* Jason reasserted his control, blasting Ben against
the back of Chibiusa's skull, sending them reeling against a big
stack of Pringles potato chip cylinders, scattering them all
around the floor. "I'm gettin' my #!@@%#% beer if it @#!%!$!#^%!^
kills us, okay?!!!"
<Jason> ESPECIALLY if it kills us!
^_^
*BZRRT!* "No way!" Ben cried, coming to the forefront again.
He stumbled around, accidentally smashing several chip-filled
containers in his attempts to remain upright. He grabbed onto a
rack of candy bars. "I mustn't let you disgrace yourself!"
Ah, more chibi bashing! ^_^
Why stop now? We're in the perfect position for it! ^_^
*BZRRRRRRRRT!* Sparks literally flew around Chibiusa's head as
the battle went on. A few passerbys outside noticed the one-spore
Just out of curiosity, how did the monkier 'spore' come to be associated
with Chibiusa?
It's an insulting term which Serena used to refer to Reenie as in
the SMR dub.
"Oooh," commented a stereotypical Japanese tourist from
Nagasaki, "Jackie Chan!"
"No," another said, "Jackie Chan's a little taller."
Jet Li then? ^_^
^_^ Could be...
"Heh. You were into it as much as I was!" Jason noted.
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Guys!" Chibiusa whined. "Can't you two just get along?!"
<Jason> No! I'll kill this body and Ben with it!
<Ben> Oh yeah! Not if I kill you first! Die Jason!
<Chibi> Wah! They're trying to kill me again!
Hmm... I do need to add that, don't I? ^_^
I checked and couldn't find a spot for it in this chapter.
Perhaps the next one.
"Yeah," Jason agreed. "We always get along. Like a house on
fire!"
"Screaming, property damage, and heavy casualties later on?"
Ben asked.
Ah, Emerald and Rei.
Old favorites that are probably never going to be finished.
I can't match Mark's style, and I don't know of many who can
that are still writing.
"Yes I did," Ben replied. "You were about to take a swig,
weren't you?"
"So what if I was?"
"It's my duty to stop you. Giving beer to a minor--what were
you thinking?!"
He keeps asking that question. One wonders what he would do if he ever
got an answer. ^_^
Probably be thrown off-balance, at least.
Ben slapped the girl's forehead and groaned slowly.
"Ummm!" Chibiusa's sudden protest indicated that she didn't
really want that particular result to take effect anytime in the
near future.
<Jason> Hey, what're you worried about? It's not like your boyfriend will
ever notice!
<Ben> ...even considering who we're talking about, surely that was going
too far.
<Jason> ...
<Ben> Eh, you're right. Can't go too far with the spore. ^_^
**OUCH!!!** ^_^
All things considered, though, I guess Helios... likes cute children.
It sounds terrible if you say it in the wrong context. ^_^;;;
"Look," Ben cut in, "she's, what, nine? The last thing she
needs is a hairy chest! Plus, she's Usagi's kid. Usagi has roughly
<Jason> Bet if I set her on fire, you'd change your mind about the last
thing she'd need. ^_^
<Chibi> Wah! They're going to burn me alive!
Ouch again! ^_^ Appropriate remarks. Maybe I'll find a spot for
'em later on.
ZERO alcohol tolerance--"
I remember that ep when she got totally sloshed. What was it...maybe two
glasses of wine? Too bad they never took that ep to its logical conclusion.
You know, throwing up, lots of pain, less than perfect balance (which for
her
would mean near total loss of mobility) and the hangover after the fact.
Not
to mention all the embarrasing other stuff that one does wasted. ^_^ Truly
fear it, if your friends have a digital camera and internet access.
"YOu thInK i'M tOO DRIVE Ta drUNk?!"
While it may have been fun, I guess it didn't fit the proper context
for the SM story at the time. Later on, like in the Stars series,
they tackled some more grown-up themes, but not many.
"Oh," the body's actual owner whispered, comprehension flooding
her voice, "so you're just being nice and trying to get me ready for
what'll happen in the future?"
"Yeah, that's the ticket!" Jason replied in a smug manner.
The bad thing is that she would be that easy to convince. ^^
Oddly enough, Chibiusa seems less easily convinced than Usagi,
and that's not even saying much. ^_^
Ben took a look at the pans and other utensils used in making
Beer-Can Chicken. "How do you figure that?"
"Mommy sent me here to train and make friends," Chibiusa said.
"If a lot of stuff happens in the future, I need to be ready, right?"
<Ben> So, won't you have friends and allies to help you out, get your back,
and generally cover for you if you can't be there?
<Chibi> Mom has those, but they don't really do a very good job without
her.
Come to think of it, they're kinda useless.
<Ben> Sounds like a problem you should probably look into.
<Jason> Quit %&^$ giving away secrets!
<Ben> You're just bitter that Hotaru wasn't in Sailor Moon Super S.
<Jason> *&&^% you!
That's a very apt commentary on how things basically went. Ah, the
pains of having a series with title character-itis. ^_^
I mean, each character could have done well as the main one in
their own series, but that's the problem with having limited
space. Oh well. ^_^
"Chibiusa," Ben added, "if you stay away from all that, I will
make you more powerful than you can possibly imagine." He paused and
<Ben> You do not know the power of the darkside!
Basically. ^_^
"Why?" Jason asked. "Does your will feel sapped?"
"Well, sometimes you guys take over and won't let me do what
I want to do. I think that's mean."
She might have a point there.
She does, but Ben and Jason are the rude intruders. ^_^
"Oh," Ben whispered, then shrugged. "Okay, in that case, go
ahead and grab control, if you like."
"Hai!"
*BZRRT!!* Once more, Chibiusa felt the sensation of her own
body. It was actually quite relieving. She paced around for a little
I expect semi sensory deprevation is quite unnerving.
Oh, yes. It's surprising any of the three are willing to tolerate
it at all.
"Great!" Jason said. "Say, were you paying attention when I made
Beer-Can Chicken the first time?"
"Umm-hmm!" Chibiusa replied, grabbing the opened can of beer.
"We take the chicken, and put it in a big pan, like this." She placed
the chicken in the pan. "And we put the opened can in, like this..."
As it sprays all over the place...
^_^ It's already opened, so it won't spray unless sloshed around.
"@#!@in' good job, kid!" Jason exclaimed as the tiny girl from
the future successfully completed the task and, with some effort and
a stool, turned up the oven. "Now all we've gotta do is wait for it
See, if she were 9 years old, she SHOULD be able to reach the stove controls,
unless she was seriously underdeveloped. Now a 4 or 5 year old on the other
hand...
I never got a precise statistic on her age. She might be a bit younger,
actually.
to finish. Ben, tell me more about the Otakufic features. How could
we get 'em switched on?"
"Hmm," Ben began, "I don't remember much, but the guy said that
<Ben> A guy who, strangely enough, had purple hair cut just above his
shoulders and kept his eyes shut all the time. Maybe that should have tipped
me off...
Xelloss behind it all? Maybe it was an author with programming skills
and an odd sense of humor...
John Biles! I blame John Biles! ^_^
if we SI'd as ourselves, it'd pop up like a Star Trek holodeck arch.
But if we SI'd into someone's mind, it'd end up looking like one of
their more special moves. He said that if I were in, say, Goku from
DBZ, turning on the Otakufic stuff would look like when he's charging
the Genki Darma or Spirit Bomb or whatever."
That's sort of an effect of switching on the otaku features, how would
one
do
it as a resident of someone's mind I think was the question. IE How would
one
turn it on, not what it would look like after the fact.
I think that means that this sort of motion would be required to
activate the cheats, like "CORWIN OF AMBER" or whatever was needed
to switch them on in an old Warcraft or something.
"Okay," Ben let out a mental sigh, "so what's Chibiusa's
ultimate attack?"
"I can use the Pink Sugar Heart Attack," Chibiusa offered. "It
works pretty good."
This is up there with the worst bit of tactical planning to ever grace
a
war
of any sort. They sent a soldier back with something that doesn't even
count
as a stun weapon. That's like when the US sent soldiers out to fight without
any ammo awhile back.
Cable had the right idea. He went back with all the knowledge, a
portable time machine, tons of strength, and a weapon capable of
damaging even Apocalypse's tough metal hide...
Bishop did okay, but he wasn't tough enough. ^_^
"If you're fighting off a bunch of GNATS," Jason grumbled. "Eh,
that sort of move'd have to be like, oh--uh oh..." He trailed off. If
he were in control, Chibiusa's face would have suddenly gotten very
pale. "NO. I'm NOT thinking about THAT one. No. @#@#^@$^&!. Way."
"What?" Ben prodded. "The Twinkle Bell thing?"
Heh.
Probably one of the cutest "attacks" around. ^_^
"Pegasuses are cute," Chibiusa noted, blissfully unaware of
the fact that the proper way to say it would be 'pegasi.' "I like
pegasuses."
And they like little girls apparently too. ^^;;;;;;;;;
Indeed....
Jason fell to Chibiusa's knees, and continued to shout about
the inhumanity of it all.
Summoned by the yelling, Usagi and her friends poked their
heads into the kitchen. Makoto moved to enter, but Minako held
her back, shaking her head.
Heh, the things I wish I could see on the screen. ^_^
Some thing would be difficult to see except in a sort of comic
strip. If anyone's drawing, I ain't complaining. ^_-
So, wisely deciding that a change in residence was in order,
she grabbed a sack, filled it with her sparse possessions, bounded
down the stairwell to her recently-loaned vehicle, got in, and
prepared to start it. Her breathing was rapid and her eyes were wide.
Her hands shook as she fumbled with her keys, inserting them into the
ignition and starting the engine.
Eudial glanced around furitively, expecting, at any moment, an
arm to wrap around her neck, a hand to clap itself over her mouth,
and someone to whisper sharp threats into her ear.
Heh, she'd have been better off just running for it, taking a cab and sending
a major strike force back for the vehicle later.
She's smart, but not THAT smart when pressed.
Then again, she'd have to explain why this was neccessary, and I'm not
sure
she can lie well enough for that.
Yeah, and she wasn't _sure_ the others were still around, but...
"What headquarters? URK!" Eudial asked levelly before her
larynx got squeezed a bit tighter.
"I wouldn't advise lying," Uranus pressed.
One wonders though, why certain government agencies haven't sent out
investigation units to check out these Senshi and daimon sightings. Given
the
amount of damage they do, it's not really something those in power can
ignore,
no matter how much they might wish to discount them. I mean you'd think
things like this happening to the bad guys, and good guys, would occur
more
often.
Maybe someone, like Setsuna, is out visiting major police officials
like the Shadow, and convincing them that the Senshi do not exist.
^_^
"Er, lying?" the first member of the Witches Five continued,
sweating profusely from the stress. "I wouldn't dream of it." Then
she reached over, put the vehicle in reverse, and slammed her foot
down on the gas.
<Eudial> Trying to escape on the other hand...
Added it in. Found a spot for it.
"B@!!@&&!" Jason swore with great enthusiasm. "Good plan kid,
let's get your best lunchbox, let's pack up that chicken, and let's
go have dinner with that @#%@#^@#! great gothic supergirl, YEEEEEEE-
HAAAAAAW!!!"
Fanboys. ^_^
Now that's a fanboy of a different color!
"@!#^@!#^in' YEAH, Ben! Don't be such a stick in the mud,"
Jason said in his lovably vulgar manner. "All you talk about is
me trying to enjoy myself and the second I do, you jump all over me!"
"Two imaginary friends," Makoto said, while the others hummed
their agreement.
It's like the three stooges. ^_^
Even better, though. ^_^
"Well, all right," Ben sighed. "While we're there, do you think
we could at least work on the Mistress Nine problem?"
"I'm way ahead of ya, buddy!" Jason replied. "You get those
cheat codes worked out and we'll solve all their problems."
There is no problem that cannot be solved with liberal amounts of high
explosives. ^_^
That's a pretty good rule in fantasy fiction. ^_^
Chibiusa giggled. "I'm glad to hear it, guys. I knew you'd
come to help!"
<Ben> Yeah...we're here to help. *dum, dum, dum!* He he he he he.
^_^ Ben might have ulterior motives. You never know. Some of
the most fun SIs have been when the SI goes all villain on
everybody.
"Heh. @#%@ straight, kid!"
"Yeah, we like to help," Ben said, "and I'll see about those
Otakufic plugins."
"Yeah. Get the Dragon Slave thing working, ASAP!"
Not seen the anime "Bastard" has he? They have much cooler spells, most
of
them named after Heavy Metal bands.
I don't think he's seen it yet. He's a big Slayers fan, though.
"Right!"
"And NO girly sailor powerups, got it?"
There's a lot of power ups one can use then, but uhh, the idea of Chibi
Usa
in
Hariel's armor gives me the willies. ^^
There are a number of voice-activated transformation powers
that we wouldn't particularly want to see activated on Chibiusa,
really.
"I don't know how it works, but I'll see what I can do."
"Yeah, let's make sure this future-girl has enough firepower
to blow up a continent or two!"
"What's that, Jason?" Chibiusa asked aloud, trying to figure
out her mental occupant's meaning. "You want me to destroy the
Earth!?"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! THAT WAS GREAT!
It's a continuation on a theme started in the last chapter,
so I thought it appropriate.
<Usagi> Chibi, why did you blow up the earth?!
<Chibi> The voices in my head told me to.
In-deed! ^_^
"Well, not the whole Earth," Jason said. "I mean, like, BIG
monsters that come along. HUGE ones. Y'know, save the planet?
Wouldn't you enjoy that?"
"Oh!" Chibiusa said, inclining her head. "Yeah, I'd like to
do that."
And the fact that they can't hear Jason makes it sound to the Senshi like
she
just said she'd LOVE to blow the planet into it's component particles.
^_^
So, they'll be on the look-out to see if Chibiusa tries any
really powerful-looking attacks. Slayers magic is one good
venue... But I don't know if we'll be using any DBZ stuff...
I don't know how much of the Otakufic stuff will really get
activated, though. If any.
Usagi choked while her eyes bulged in disbelief. "Something's
going on with her. Rei, can't you sense anything?!"
"I don't feel any evil coming from her," Rei replied and
added after a moment's thought, "As such."
Menace, and violence, yeah. But evil? Depends on your perspective. ^_^
^_^ Quite.
While Chibiusa loaded up the chicken, Ben withdrew into some of
the more secluded regions of the girl's head, and began work on the
Otakufic problem. "Hey, I think I'm on to something here," he said
after a few seconds. "Be right back."
Usually when a computer geek says that about a problem, it'll take two
or
three hours before you see them again...at least!
That's a proper time frame for when Ben gets back with the cheat
codes. Just in time for a last-minute save.
That, or a minute or two late. Either way, what bliss! ^_^
Do we start cheating before the Undead have trashed the camp,
or do we start cheating when almost all the buildings are
destroyed?
Cheat early, cheat often. ^_^
"I KNOW you can do it, Ben!" Jason shouted at his friend. An
empty echo came back.
"Okay, Chibiusa," Jason said, "put the rest of the beer in
the fridge. We can make some REALLY great gravy later on. Let's go!"
Good thing that Gravy is supposed to be flat. ^^
^_^
"Right!" Chibiusa chirped happily, grabbing the can and putting
it in the refrigerator. "I'm glad I met you guys. I never thought
ANYTHING could be so fun before I met you!"
"@#%! Any time, kid. Let's get going already!"
He's having fun with the girl. I think it might be time to find another
planet a few hundred lightyears away and hide. ^_^
Next thing you know, they'll find a rent-a-zilla to take them
around town...
As the young girl skipped out the front door with a bag full
of chicken, the heads of Usagi, Ami, Rei, Minako, and Makoto peeked
around the corner from the living room. After such a long time of
strenuous eavesdropping, they collapsed all over each other into a
writhing heap.
"WAAAH!"
"Watch it, Mako-chan!"
"ECCHI!!!"
And they say that like it's a bad thing. ^_^
Depends who's watching, really. ^_^
After a lot of uncomfortable struggling and groping, such as
Usagi's hand on Rei's chest, and Minako's head up Makoto's skirt,
the group finally managed to untangle themselves.
Shingo walked by with a mischievous grin and a thirty-five
millimeter camera. "Heh!" he laughed, cradling the device in his
hands. "I can't wait to get these developed!" He ran off and slammed
the front door behind him.
If he were smart about it, he wouldn't have said anything. He's got a ways
to
go before he can aquire really some good blackmail/embarrasment material.
^_^
Perhaps.
Then again, I'm still wondering what that boy does in his spare time off
the
camera.
I'm not even venturing a guess. ^_^
<Shingo> Sailor Moon, huh? Well, wait'll they get a load of me. *Joker
smile*
Still, I bet he's one of the more frustrated males in all of anime. His
sister continuously brings home these hot babes he will never have any
chance
with (unless one of them decides to educate him in the ways of the flesh,
but
that's for a better writer than I). Could be another explanation of why,
as
the series progresses, he's just not around. He couldn't take it! ^_^
Well... You have to realize that the girls clustered around Usagi
are pretty much GIRLY-girls, of the mentalities that are the bane
of boys Shingo's age. ^_^
"SHINGO!!!" Usagi screamed, sprinting after him, struggling
only momentarily with the door handle on her way out.
This left four young women to blush and occasionally glance at
each other in an uneasy manner.
Makoto cleared her throat. "So...?"
<Makoto> Anyone up for an orgy?
I knew you had it in you! ^_^
"Well, if Usagi's ruling the world, then things are probably
pretty badly messed up," Rei noted playfully.
Indeed. ^_^
I've got a scene of NETTG that really messes up. I'll post
it as soon as I get it presentable, or stare at it enough
so I don't see the errors anymore. ^_^
Ami and Minako hummed and nodded in agreement with that
assertion.
Usagi ran back and glared down at them through the window,
camera in hand, dragging Shingo's unconscious, battered form behind
her by the strap. "What are you saying about me???"
So, she's looking at them from the outside from the kitchen window?
The open kitchen window, yes.
"No reason," Ben said, while a van with Uranus, Neptune, and
Eudial struggling inside sped by. They seemed to be exchanging seats
in a random manner, grabbing alternately at the wheel and each
others' throats. "Oh, there they are. I'll go back to working on
the cheat codes now."
"You do that," Jason said. "Chibiusa, wave for 'em!"
This scene is perfect. I don't know how else to describe it. I laugh every
time I read it. It's like watching an episode of Bugs Bunny.
You just have to balance the coincidences, really. It's cartoonish,
so if somebody says something, there must be some sort of
consequence. It's about advancing the plot amidst the red herrings!
The girl wordlessly waved at the battling Witch and Sailors.
Neptune waved back with a free hand while she yanked on Eudial's
BWAHAHAHAAHHAAHAH!!! And I could see it happening. I really could. ^_^
Gladja liked it!
red hair with her teeth. The Witch's fist knocked her away. "Um,
don't you think we should help them?" Chibiusa asked.
"Nah!" Jason shot back as the van roared past, knocking over
a street lamp and a couple of wooden benches before screeching around
the corner on two wheels. "They'll be fine."
*que the looney toons end theme*
Too bad the cops aren't following them at this point getting into the
occasional wreck.
That's for the next car chase in this series. ^_^
A few minutes more brought them to the tall door of the
humongous Tomoe residence. At Chibiusa's will, Luna-P turned into
an umbrella, which she used to ring the bell.
Too bad they didn't think of that the first time. Heh.
A simpler method seemed apparent at this point. Less disorientation.
"Who's that?"
*BZZRT!* Jason took control and stuck the umbrella into the
doorway while kicking it open with Chibiusa's foot. "Yo! Wait a
second! I want to show you something."
Ah, these are the things I wish I could to do to some NPCs in certain games.
^_^
Stefan Gagne did a nice job in his Penultima NWN mods...
In one, there's this annoying guy that sends you on these
dumb errands... but later, you get a chance to take revenge...
"Time to pay the piper."
"Hey, stop it! Whoa!"
*RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!* Like a fully-automatic machine gun, dozens
of charges exploded at the tip of the colorful parasol.
Kaolinite fell flat on her back.
<Jason> Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the Luna ball.
^_^
"..." Chibiusa didn't say. "I can't believe you just made me
do that!" she shouted internally.
Note, that she's not actually upset her body might have been used to kill
someone, or that someone just got shot a few times in front of her...no,
this
is the "I can't believe you just did that." mild annoyance tone. Heh.
She's too young to properly understand life vs. death and such.
Nobody important has really died around her. And if they do, they're
back up pretty quick.
Jason blew the smoke off of the umbrella's barrel. "Hoo-yeah,
baby!"
"Umm, Jason?" Chibiusa continued. "Why did you just kill that
nice lady?"
See, she's still not what you'd call upset. ^_^
Shock often is a precursor to rage. ^_^
"Dang! Just blanks," Jason muttered in silent mode. "I wanted
aluminium-jacketed hollowpoints!"
Must have been something other than blanks. Blanks at that range will kill
a
person via the massive shock they expunge out the muzzle of the gun. It's
why
they sound like bullets, just without the projectile.
Either that or she can take a lot more damage than most. Though as I recall
she did shrug off a planet attack.
Kaolinite's pretty tough. She could take some blanks that close.
It'd be like shrugging off a cap explosion, really.
"Okay, it wasn't real. You had me scared for a second."
"Kaori-san!" a voice called from the hall. "Is someone setting
off fireworks out front again?"
At least it wasn't flaming bags of doggy doo.
^_^
The thin, black-haired girl came to the door. She wore her
typical black body stocking with the miniskirt. "No one?" she asked.
"It sounded like something that--" She broke off and smiled when she
saw Jason. "Chibiusa-chan!"
"Yup, that's me," Jason said, struggling to keep a straight
face. "Good ol' Chibiusa-chan. Whassup?"
I'm getting flash backs of all the Wassup commercials. ^_^
I don't remember those, actually.
"Were you setting off fireworks in front of my house during the
middle of the day?"
"Uh, yeah!" Jason replied. "This fat, ugly chick over here said
While she deserves a good killin', if I recall correctly, she was damn
hot.
Oh, no dobut about that.
Still, when tossing out insults facts such as this are not to be
considered...unless you can use it to make insults worse. Heheheh.
When you toss insults, it doesn't have to be true, but it helps
if it does. True.
"Wow, you did?" Hotaru asked, grinning at her smaller friend
before looking back up at Kaolinite. "That's wonderful! You look so
much better with all that soot on you. Kind of like a puppy." She
One gets the impression that Hotaru HATES Kaolinite.
That would be correct. ^_^
As before, 'glaring' would have been a perfect way to describe
Kaolinite's reaction. However, that would fail to take into account
the shaking in anger and the lightning bolts flashing behind her.
"That cheeky child... Grr!" She whipped around and stormed off toward
Professor Tomoe's lab.
I guess she thinks that killing the spore in front of a girl who could
wipe
out the planet would be a BAD THING (tm).
Mustn't upset the Messiah of Silence. ^_^
He had glanced at the README.TXT file before initiating the
program, but didn't remember exactly what the cheat portion had
said before he started up the self-insertion venture.
In the distance, he saw a light. "THAT is where I will go!"
Head towards the light....
In-deed!
he declared to himself. Jason and Chibiusa were too far away to
hear him. If he wasn't careful, he could get lost.
"Speaking of lost," Ben muttered, "I wonder what happened to
Jussi Nikander. He said he'd come along, but I guess he backed out
before he was committed."
Might want to scratch that part about "before he was committed." Unless
you're
saying before he was commited to the self insert venture. In which case
another way to say it would be "before we started this little venture"
or
something like that if you need more detail after 'backed out.'
That's a pun, see. I said it and you ain't laughin'.
Gotta keep it in. Wouldn't be proper. ^_^
---
As nuthou..., err, mental health institutions go, it was a
rather pleasant place. Electric shocks weren't used as treatment,
lobotomy was strictly banned and there weren't even any old, wizened
ex-Naxi doctors making diabolic experiments on the patients. Instead,
the walls were were painted in soothing colors, the nurses were
generally kind and the management really tried to help the patients.
What sort of psycho place did he wind up in?! Heheh.
One of those Finnish mental institutions where they treat you
right...
All in all, it was almost, but not completely unlike the place
where "One Flew Over Cockoos Nest" supposedly happened. But even in
the most pleasant mental health institutions there are cases that
have been labeled incurable, put in a straight jacket, and locked
into a small, padded room.
With pleaseant and peaceful elevator music playing 24/7.
Mmm-hmm!
Suddenly, the man blinked and turned to look at the door.
"I didn't back out; I was committed," Jussi muttered before
turning back to the window. "And I still think I got the better part
of the deal."
<Hanibel Lector> Indeed, he's been wonderful company.
^_^ *Burp!*
In the living room, Hotaru smiled down at her young friend.
Never before in her life had she met someone that had such a talent
for making her laugh. The magic of it was that Chibiusa hadn't even
tried to tell a joke--it was as if the little girl viewed the entire
universe as one huge, cosmic punchline.
Probably not too far from the truth. Then again, there are quite a number
of
such people in the United States, heh.
I'd say a fair amount of people at least have a _friend_ like Jason,
even if they don't act like that themselves.
"Nasty stuff, really. But back home, you got made fun of if
ya didn't like it. So I guess that means I like it! Great way to
prove your manliness, ain't it?"
Hotaru nodded again while she listened intently.
To spend the day just talking and having fun with Hotaru...*sigh*
Yeah, it'd be cool!
SI wish-fulfillment? Sure, why not? After all, there's nothing
wrong with wish-fulfillment fantasy... so long as it's MY wishes
that are being fulfilled. ^_^
"What's worse: You ever try hauling home a set of four twelve-
packs with arms like these?" The nine-year-old held out her arms and
swung a small fist around. "@#%^in' good exercise, let me tell you!"
Unless she aquired Usagi's dense bone and muscle structure, I don't think
that's humanly possible. ^^
It's hereditary. ^_^
"Spies," Chibiusa cut in while gnawing on a drumstick. "I've
got a great spy network. Did you know that Kaori's real name is
Kaolinite and she's an evil alien from outer space?"
Could explain a few things.
Hotaru snickered at that. "That would explain a lot. I never
did like her."
We couldn't tell. ^_^
Just tell the truth and it seems like a tall tale.
"Wait 'till I get going!" the pink-haired girl continued. "Your
dad is not only a professor at Mugen. He's also a mad scientist and
has a secret lab under your house!"
<DeeDee> Dexter! Oh Dexter!
Hmm...cute blond destroys itty bitty red head's lab. Most think they probably
got that idea from Tenchi Muyo, but goddamn did they take it to where it
needed to go. Heheheheh.
I'd have liked better artwork, but it serves its purpose.
Speaking of which, has anyone drawn a "true" anime-style Dexter,
DeeDee, or Powerpuff Girl?
Somebody did an anime-style Lisa Simpson, and it looked very nice.
"I had hoped you would," Hotaru beamed, and laughed softly. It
certainly was nice to have a friend that could understand her, she
reflected. Chibiusa could probably empathize with her frail health
and occasional seizures, since she suffered from them as well. But
the great thing was how the little girl managed to find joy out of
life despite it all, while seeming to understand just about
everything that went on.
Hmm...getting a bit sugary here, better hook up the insulin just to be
safe.
Better safe than sorry. ^_^
"Say, you wanna go out again today?" Chibiusa asked brightly.
"My art class was going on a field trip to Tokyo Tower, so I'm
supposed to meet up there later." She donned her new backpack.
Hotaru held a hand to her cheek. "I don't know, I've got a
lot of homework to do." At her friend's pleading expression, she
added, "But I'm sure it can wait until after we get back."
All to easy to convince. ^_^ Then again, I usually took every excuse I
could
to duck out of homework too. Heheheheh.
Any good excuse to get out of homework will suffice. ^_^
^_^
"I like Hotaru," Chibiusa noted inside her head. "She's nice."
"Heh. I like little miss Death Star, too," Jason added as he
And in that phrase, he sums it all up. ^_^ Most of us like little miss
Death
Star. She's cute, cuddly, looks like she could use a lot of hugs, and can
blow up the planet! What more could you want?
Not much else. I agree: that sums it up.
Anything else is just icing on the exploding cake. ^_^
"Nah, it just makes 'er more cool. And Gothic. Can't be a
cool, Gothic, Lovecraftian character without a demon inside your
head, you know."
He has a point. Too bad Chibiusa has NO idea who Lovecraft is. Heh, his
stories would probably permanently derange the girl...hey, that's an idea....
Jason reciting Lovecraft to Chibiusa?
If people didn't know what that meant, it'd sound like he was
proposing. ^_^
"You mean, you weren't joking earlier?"
"Heh heh heh! Do I sound like I'm joking? We're gonna go blow
it up!!! Sound like fun to you?!"
YES!!! DESTRUCTION!!!
We've had enough order in this series so far. Time for some
good, old-fashioned blow-outs. ^_^
"Umm..." Chibiusa didn't sound very sure of much of anything
at this point. So, she changed the topic. "Hey, you've been using my
body for a few minutes. Can I have it back again yet?"
Heh, this is worse than time sharing.
This is the only way to properly handle self-inserting into Chibiusa. ^_^
"What?!" Chibiusa cried aloud. Realizing that she could now
speak, she whispered, "What am I gonna do here?!"
"Your mission," Jason continued smoothly from the safe confines
of the girl's thick skull, "should you choose to accept it, is to
Heheheheh, and the chibi bashing continues unabated. ^_^
And yet it still has that odd effect of earning the girl some
bonus popularity points. ^_^
After all, it's the difference between:
1: I don't like Chibiusa.
2: I like Chibiusa. She's cute!
3: I like Chibiusa! She's fun to torment!!!
4: I like Chibiusa. Pass the ketchup already, will ya?!
find one or more of the following items: The self-destruct button, if
they've got one, Tomoe's daimon-making machine, Eudial's experimental
Oh, they've got one. Gauranteed, they got one. After all, these guys are
very much like the examples used to create the evil overlord list.
Yup! Not exceptionally smart, but they've got the Power.
Fire Buster Mark Two, or another one of those vans Eudial was using."
"Why would you want another van?"
"'Cause I've got road rage and they're fun to crash. Oh! And you
I like Jason. He has the right idea. ^_^
Nothing like a fatally-minded guy stuck in your head to mess
things up, eh? ^_^
This time, though, there wasn't much to see. The little prism
hooked to the front of Chibiusa's outfit gleamed and chimed a bit.
Then she got flung upwards, upside-down, hitting her bottom hard
against the ceiling. In a puff of pink smoke, her sailor suit
replaced her street clothes. Then, in an amazingly anti-climactic
moment, she fell flat on her face and groaned.
When transformations go wrong! ^_^
And the thing is, it happened once or twice this way in the anime...
"Right," Sailor Chibimoon said, before getting shakily to
her feet and trudging onward, into the unknown. "Chop chop?"
"That's what's gonna happen if you don't hide, since Miss
Bad Hair Day's coming around the corner. Into the open locker,
fly-girl!"
<Morpheus> There is an empty office to your left. Go now!
It's like having an uplink to your own Mission Impossible crew!
"Okay, Jason!" Chibimoon replied while she swung the locker
open and ran toward the main section of the lab, which opened up
into a larger room that extended a floor below. Professor Tomoe was
there with his back turned, examining a beaker on a bunsen burner
in front of him.
All that high tech gear, and still reduced to using a bunsen burner.
Sometimes, the tried and true method is the most fun. He's
laughing, isn't he? ^_^
"Hmm?!" Tomoe turned around urgently, not a second too soon.
"Who's there? Kaolinite?"
Sailor Chibimoon saw a large rat crawl in front of her. She
hurriedly shooed it toward the professor's visual range.
I'd be a bit leary of anything that's 'alive' in this lab.
It didn't have enough time on set to show its glowing eyes. ^_^
"See that in front?" Jason asked. He would have pointed if
he could. "The metal box with the black star on it at the center
of all those tubes? That's the machine Tomoe uses to make daimons."
"Gosh," Chibimoon whispered, in the frightened awe of one that
had just been shown the root of all evil.
In a way, she had.
Yeah, I guess she did...
"We'll get to blow it up after all..."
"Right!" Chibimoon whispered, and whipped out her cute little
heart-shaped wand. "Pink Eshugaaah--"
I'm not sure that thing can light a match though. ^^
Each little heart is about as tough as a stiff slap in the face.
Tough enough to distract or break fragile objects.
"Wait, not yet!" Jason said. "See the thing in pieces on the
table near it? The backpack with all the hoses and cables? That's
the Fire Buster. Go get it!"
<Jason> Heheheh...fire...fire...FIRE! ^_^
^_^ And now, he's got the tools.
The sailor-suited girl did as she was instructed. She put
on the large backpack section of the Fire Buster II, momentarily
staggered by its weight, then picked up the nozzle by the hose,
and shuffled back behind the desk.
"Good!" Jason said. "Now take it off and let's assemble
this bad boy!"
Heh, reminds me of the Knights of the Dinner Table flash cartoon. They
bring
a flame thrower to the game to add some realism.
"Hey man, crank that bad boy up!" *whoosh*
Needless to say one of em got a bit toasted.
http://www.hoodyhoo.com/kodt.htm ^_^
That's a funny set of animations, actually. Thanks for
sharing.
The girl found it and activated the device.
"@#%^@! It didn't blow up," Jason muttered angrily. He let out
*%Dying...in a moment of splendor...for a moment the glory and the death
are one the same.*% ^_^
Ah, good ol' classic quotes. ^_^
a long mental sigh. "All right, kid. Take the nozzle in your right
hand, and note the trigger on the handle."
Eudial didn't bother to include a safety did she?
She was probably going to add one later, but it'll work for now.
Chibimoon struggled to her feet, then pointed the dangerous,
humming device at the black-star box. "And...?"
Jason chuckled evilly. "Target: MAXIMUM FIREPOWER!!!"
He's one of the guys who thought they should have had laser guns around
the
main reactor, isn't he?
I think he is, actually.
The device was obliterated within a second. Judging from the
size and fury of the explosion, the fluid used in making daimons must
have been highly flammable.
Or possessed of a lot of energy...which just got released.
Either way, it's got a pretty good boom to it.
Sailor Chibimoon didn't take much notice the recoil from the
shot, since the force of the blast greatly surpassed it, knocking her
all the way back into the wall just below where she had come in.
So for a moment she felt a bit squished. Heh.
Yeah.
"@^@##%*#%&%^*^%(&*%^(&@$%@^!!!&$%^*^&(^*()%^(%^(*%$($%!!!"
Jason exclaimed. "THAT WAS @#%@#%@^##^@^#$@ COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!"
Chibimoon slid to the floor. "That... hurt," she noted weakly.
Her strength of will faltered, leaving Jason in control.
Little tollerance for pain. Then again, that's what training is for.
She doesn't have much training yet. She'd be the first to go down
of all the Senshi in a straight fight.
"Ow," Jason added, wincing. "That DOES hurt."
Not caring, for the moment, how the explosion had happened,
Professor Tomoe got back up. His laugh became a bit more frightened,
Still laughing? Him and Tarantulus should compare notes.
Possibly. ^_^
and he grabbed a high-pressure fire extinguisher, then ran to the
other side of the room, attempting to douse the flames threatening
to consume the whole lab.
Thanking Cthulhu that he didn't install that halon system like he originally
planned on...
Probably, actually.
"It was kinda faded and said, 'Chidisyte,'" Chibiusa noted.
"And the combination sounds familiar..."
And the plot thickens.
If you've ever seen the Laguna sequences from FF8, you'll have
an idea where I'm going with that.
*BZZRT!* Chibimoon suddenly regained control, just as
Kaolinite swung the locker door open. The little girl whipped out
her wand, pointed it at the woman's face, and cried, "PINK SUGAR
HEART ATTACK!!!"
All things considered this was likely the smarter of the two attacks
available. The firebuster would have probably cooked them too in that
enclosed space hitting a target a point blank range.
True. The girl's learning. She's actually getting some training
out of this after all. ^_^
*Ping-ping-ping-ping-ping!* A stream of little pink hearts
smacked into Kaolinite's face, which she kept trained on her
while backing out the secret door. The red-haired lady couldn't
have gotten more than a glimpse of the girl before she escaped.
Heh, so it is good for something. Though I bet mace would have been more
effective.
"Shabon Mace Spraaay!"
Oh, yes, but most magical girls wouldn't be caught using one of
those. It's probably a violation of the Code. ^_^
Sailor Chibimoon grasped the Fire Buster's nozzle and pointed
it into the open passageway, and pulled the trigger, shouting,
"HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE!!!"
Now she's getting it! A disgrace to all magical girl attacks everywhere.
^_^
Good job! Hell, a few more days under their care and she'll be a character
that everyone will want to be.
Perhaps she'll get a bit more gumption than before, yes. ^_^
*BLAAAM!!!* The blast scored a direct hit on Kaolinite's back,
knocking her deeper into the lab and melting away a goodly portion
of the entranceway before the secret door slid shut.
Probably didn't kill her...well, maybe it did, but probably not considering
the amount of pounding Kaolinite took in the R season before finally buying
it.
S season, actually. And Kaolinite's singed and angry, but not quite
dead about now.
"@#%@#%@#!% GREAT SHOT, KID!" Jason let out a triumphant war
cry. "THAT WAS ONE IN A MILLION!!!"
Panting hard, Chibimoon de-transformed into her street clothes,
and ran off toward the bathroom, closed the door, and locked it. She
breathed a sigh of relief. "I can't... believe... I just did that!"
This is how it starts. Pretty soon you get addicted to the russsshhhh.
^_^ With Jason around, I'd count on it.
"I'm fine, Hotaru-chan!" Chibiusa replied. "Just another
minute!"
"That was @#*%#@!%#@ COOL!" Jason added. "Why didn't you tell
me you could do somethin' so @#$%^@^%@#' cool?!"
Heh, it's good to have someone in your head giving you pointers in situations
like that. Sometimes they can get you to do things you would never have
thought you could do.
Or should do, for that matter, yes. ^_^
Chibiusa looked between the floating balloon, to the Fire
Buster, and then to the big bunny-backpack.
"I've got--" Jason began.
"--an idea," Chibiusa finished the thought.
They're a bad influence on her. Heheheheh, very good job. *evil grin*
Children are sometimes easily influenced if affected in the right
manner. Having a voice in your head has to help. ^_^
He turned around and started his journey away from the
subconscious and back toward the bright, pink sentience of Chibiusa's
mainstream thought.
Even in there it's pink? GAH!
It's an assumed tint. ^_^
"I'm glad to see you've put the backpack I gave you to use,"
Hotaru said, quite pleased at that. What did you put in it? What's
the tube hanging out the top for?"
Chibiusa smiled back, obviously very proud of a recent
accomplishment. "It's a prize I won a little while ago."
A very good description. ^_^
I thought so.
"Really?" Hotaru asked, quite interested in its origin.
"What did you win it from?"
Chibiusa thought about that for a moment, then explained,
"A shooting gallery."
And she hasn't lied yet. ^_^
Nope. It's all true, from a certain point of view. ^_^
"It looks strange," Hotaru said. "Is it a vacuum cleaner?"
"Something like that."
It can certainly be used to clean things. ^_^
*grin*
The teenager laughed and smiled so deeply that she found it
difficult to keep her eyes open. That was one reason, Hotaru
realized, that she liked the odd little pink-haired girl so much: she
finally found someone that made -her- look normal. "You look so cute
and silly, carrying around a vacuum like that."
Heh, and that's an accomplishment, making her look normal.
I've seen a lot of fanfics where Hotaru's an outcast because of
her strangeness (mostly blamed on her healing powers when it was
Mistress Nine's occasional berserker bouts that made people
afraid of her in the anime), but with Chibiusa around... ^_^
Chibiusa looked pensive for a moment before replying, "Yes,
yes, I think it is. I'm sure of it, actually."
Hotaru flashed her younger friend a mischievous grin. "Shall
we do something about it again?"
Hotaru's a bit of an adrenaline junkie too. Who'd have thunk it? ^_^
When you feel the RUSH, you cannot escape it easily. ^_^
Chibiusa clenched a fist and shouted, "@^@#^% YEAH!"
"Then let's go!" Hotaru grabbed the little girl by the wrist
and started to lead her onward, with a vigor that she'd previously
thought lost to her. She hadn't felt so alive in years.
I pity her first boyfriend. <Hotaru> and on our first date, we'll go sky
diving! <Boy> Sounds cool. Can't wait to drop and then open my chute. <Hotaru>
Parchutes? Parachutes are for sissies! ^_^
Always a fun thing to hear. ^_^
As the two young girls rode upwards on Tokyo Tower's main
elevator, a tallish, green-haired woman in purple and white business
attire watched them solemnly from the ground.
"Small Lady," she whispered, her eyes shimmering with a hidden
worry. "What on Earth could you be thinking?"
Technically...she's not. Then again, I'm not sure her current guests are
either. Heheheheheheh.
Just sort of winging it without regard for the timeline, yes.
Oddly enough, in a situation that could go wrong, that's probably
the best thing they could do. ^_^
<snip of the end credits>
Well, that was a nice lil' cliffhanger, wasn't it?
Can't wait to see how they screw with things now. ^_^
It'll require another long wait for the inspirational batteries
to prime and charge, but it'll get done eventually.
I didn't know exactly when I'd get this one done, but one day,
inspiration hit, and I found something worth chuckling about.
I hope you liked this one, and if anyone saw the bits that needed
fixing, please tell me. I hope the formatting comes through okay.
Seems to have. And I definately liked it. A couple of parts in it were
just
priceless, and I'll be laughing about them for a long time.
That's great to hear! I'm glad to have made someone's life a bit
brighter, even for a short period of time.
So... Anyone STILL want me to continue this? ^_^
Damn straight man! It'd be a shame to leave this hanging for all time.
At
the very least we get to see more of Hotaru, and that's got to be worth
something, right?
Perhaps, yes. I have to sort out a few things in the plot and
find an ending soon. I don't think I can drag this one out for
many chapters more.
Anyway, hoped this helped a bit.
Sure! It helped a lot! I was glad to get such detailed comments
on all this. It's definitely a prod to continue work on it, and
it gets me thinking. The fact that it makes me type stuff out gets
me back to writing quicker than many other things can.
Take it easy.
Sure! You too! Thanks again!
----------------------
Benjamin A Oliver
boliver@U.Arizona.EDU
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html
"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
Your humor will adapt to make us laugh.
Resistance is and always has been: Futile."
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