Aaron E Nowack wrote:
By the way, assume all grammar/spelling commetns have gone into the list
of things to fix...
Roger.
Ack! Formatting....
Was there a problem?
Only insofar as there wasn't a newline between each paragraph. Nor is one
required. My ailing old-man eyes just happen to prefer them. ;)
"Aaron Nowack! YOU did this to me!"
Well, you DID say the source of all his problems. ;)
MWAHAHAHA! Dance, little General! Dance for my pleasure!
"Next up, Jadite. Sir, select your track."
"'So Many Men, So Little Time,' from DDR 3rd mix, please."
The entire sky, or just a sun?
The entire sky. (THe sky of the Dark Kingdom is a uniform, glowing red
in this fic.)
I had forgotten. Sorry. ^_^;;
Ya know, I'm willing to bet that the message would have
been... mmm... BAD, if it had gotten played just then.
Since it was along the lines of, "The Champions have ambushed and
probably killed me.", you might be right.
Yeah. Might be. ;)
A second later, the room was flooded with feedback, as each of the
communicators fed the signal into one another in a continous loop.
Heh.
Haruka: That was to foil anyone who might be listening in, right, Ami?
Ami: *giggling* Oh, yes, completely.
How could she record it on the computer that wasn't there,
exactly?
She recorded it on her communicator, and just uploaded it to the
computer.
Handy.
Then, it came to him. "But why take my word for it? I've got the first
few seasons on DVD."
Sorry, this isn't Dark Kingdom Refugees... (At l;east I _think_ that's
the fic I read where through various interdimensional hijinks some
characters got their hands on the first season of Sailor Moon. I could
be wrong, I suppose.)
Hehe! Fair enough. ;)
The future of the present, and then the future's future.
Or something. Time travel is bad for the English language.
It's bad for logical tenses in almost any language.
... uh....
You mean Ami and Hermes totally failed to reach ANY form of accord? They
seemed to be getting along so well, last time....
Well, they reached an accord in the sense that they were able to avoid
fighting each other when each had information the other wanted. When it
comes to the larger issues, well... no.
Snap. That's too bad.... But I think I understand it.
Kill Saturn, protect Hotaru... I like this irony.
The joys of secret identities.
Indeed.
One thing I neglected to mention before -- it's quite foolish of the
Champions to declare against the Senshi, given that the Youma threat
hasn't been conclusively dealt with. Only fools fight a war on two
fronts.
It is rather foolish. A perfectly rational group wouldn't... but no one
ever said the Champions were perfectly rational...
Then again, these aren't armies, and the Champions are letting emotion
rule them, so they aren't making the best judgements they could.
Exactly.
Pity, that. :/
Attack description? ;)
I want to see a fountain of flame two meters wide rising from around the
sword and flinging youma to-and-fro, at least one of them howling
something in inhuman terror as its flesh is rendered into ash, bub!
... er... don't mind me. ^_^;
I've never been very good with description. ^_^
I revel in it. Like I said, don't mind me. ;)
C'mon! A shower of icy death, jagged crystals of ice harder than steel
tearing through the air to drive themselves into the youma's flesh,
driving them back.
... er... sorry 'bout that. ^_^;;
I'll take this as a hint I need to work a bit better on it, though. ^_^
Well.... I would appreciate it, but it's hardly a requirement. :p
Missed this one the first time. What's 'storm of wrath' excatly? I see,
in my mind's eye, a raging horrizontal torrent of flame, probably
two-to-five meters wide that washes across the street, leaving hissing
and steaming asphault in its wake, not stopping until it reaches a
cement wall from a nearby building and then billowing upwards in a large
cloud of fiery-smoke.
But I'm not sure that's what you meant. ^_^;;;
Hmm... I just meant it as a generic fireblast. your description sounds
better, though. :)
:p
Generic fireblasts have descriptions too, you know. ;)
Unless you've established these attacks in another chapter, which, come
to think of it, you may have. Hmmm.
The Chmpion's attacks were mostly descrived in their introduction
chapters... thoug not partcularly well, as back in those days my
descriptions were even worse.
Hmm....
I wonder where the Dragons came from.
Good question.
The Dragons are basically sentient incarnations of their respective
elements, that have been around in various forms since long before even
Silver Millenium's recorded history.
And the Golden Millenium?
To swear fealty, if you know what's good for ya.
If it comes to that, yes.
Until Metallia is completely free though, its still anyone's game.
*snicker*
Yeah. I can imagine how great that'll be.
Scalea: I win! It's all mine! Hah! Hahaha! HAHAHA!
Metallia: *wakes up* You mean mine, right?
Scalea: *sulking* Of course I did.
to reach him, delivering a perfect backstab that left the youma a
disintegrating pile of dust. However, another youma tackled the
Champion, sending his blade spinning across the street.
Five? I thought their way was only blocked by four
initially. Four minus
one equals five? Youma math. Only explanation. ;)
Heh. When I started writing the scene it was six, but I changed it to
four.
Obviously I missed that bit.
Well, if that one were cut in half instead of burnt to ash, it could have
been five. ^_^
Artagel's blade... that would by Chryosaur, I think. It's name means
'good as gold'.
Artagel?
Thought I mentioned this... I researched the names of various magical
weapons at one point, and tried to find mythical connections that would
essentially connect the blades to various senshi. There was a man named
Artagel who had a blade named Chryosaur, and seeing as Venus's element
is gold....
... of course, all of the research boiled down to a passing reference to
Sanglamore and Flamberge in a single paragraph in PoE, but hey,
sometimes curiosity is its own reward. :p
Now, these characters are not making themselves sympathetic.
They're not trying to be nice. They're trying to save mankind from
destruction and/or Pluto's vision of utopia.
Sadly, that is quite clear.
Fortunately, it's so well written I want to find out more anyway. :)
Uranus. One of the two who gladly betrayed all her friends for power. And
she's the voice of reason.
Well, you have to remember that that hasn't happened in shades of Gray's
timeline, which diverges after the third season.... (see! four
periods!)
;)
And _this_ Uranus has leant some important lessons from the whole fiasco
with Pharoah 90
Always a good thing. Let's see if she lives long enough to make use of it.
Hrm.... This makes a bit more sense. Nice tie-in with mythos, by the way.
The champion of Death. So, which planet does Chronus belong to,
again?
Saturn.
I was afraid of that. But it makes so much sense....
Pride goeth before a fall.
It does, yes. But not yet. ^_^
Hey, I call it like I see it. ~_^
And with that, Ishamanar returned to the Dark Kingdom.
Surprising.
Ishamanar's a fairly smart cookie. He knows the survival rate of youma
that get into direct conflicts with the Senshi.
I imagine most 'smart' youma don't go to Earth at all, if they can help it.
Didn't think that Hotaru would die.
I was afraid I was going to telegraph it... I might have gone too far in
the other direction though.
No, no, it worked.
As do I... no, actually, that hit me pretty hard. Gonna take a break from
C&Cing for the night.
This chapter seems to have that effect... which is a bit surprising to
me.
Feh. You write better than you think.
Once again, I return to you the trophy of the Tin Shinji!
I hope that this helped, then.
It did, thank you.
Excelent. ^_^
I AM surprised that Hotaru didn't surender herself.
You should be. There is a reason, though.
I felt there was, which is why I just mentioned that I was surprised.
I'm also surprised at Usagi's nearly complete silence once the
>> battle began. I suspect there's a good reason for that, but no
>> need to dwell on that here.
That, there isn't so much of a reason for. You caught a fairly major
goof on my part there...
Ooh. I thought... erm.
Right. Okay. :p
The best possible explanation I could come up with is that she's still in
shock over yesterday's revelations and the confrontation with Hotaru.
But even if I do use that, I'm going to need to _say_ it...
Ah! Elipses police!
Thanks again for the C&C.
Any time, Evil Twin!
Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/