Just something silly I knocked up last night, as a result of my mind wondering around in odd geometric shapes...

Under the Hoof of a Wild Horse (Working Title)

A silly Ranma-Hollywood fanfic,
by Alex Timiney.

All applicable disclaimers are hereby applied.
Including 'If the character mappings are messed up, blame Microsoft'

Btw, I've no intention of continuing this, unless sufficient people want me to. I just wrote it to exorcise an idea....

C&C and Continuance Requests to curator@discordia.connectfree.co.uk
Flames to BillGates@Microsoft.com


                               *

`I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this!!!' Ranma chanted 
to himself. `This isn't right this isn't right this isn't right!!!'

Suppressing a nervous shiver, he called upon his inherent confident 
to calm his frayed and rusted nerves of steel. This rising panic 
dispelled for the moment, he tried to ease his mind by reminding 
himself of the rationale behind what he was about to do...

`Stupid High school grades...' Who would have thought that flunking 
out of school would have brought such ill repute to the dojo that no 
one would study there. `Man, and y'can't even get a job as a menial 
labourer these days without a college diploma or a stupid degree...'

Accumulating debts meant that /somebody/ at the Tendo home had to get 
a real job. Nabiki's deals just weren't cutting it any more, and 
unfortunately for Ranma, who had poor credit with the mercenary girl, 
he was the one voted to be the bread winner. Especially as it was his 
fault that the dojo was not earning it's keep.

`But she would just /have/ to pick this line of work for me, wouldn't 
she?' Still, as much as he might grumble about it, and as much as he 
hated the disapproval, shame, pity, and even disgust he saw in the 
eyes of his few friends and family, he had to admit that it really 
paid well. And he'd gotten to know a few people. Important people. 
/Rich/ people...

Still... to think that the great Ranma Saotome would be reduced to 
something as base as this... to have been defeated by grades that 
read `F F D D F D A' (the `A' was in PE, of course).

Feeling fear and panic rise again, he tried to concentrate on a 
meditation technique to help keep cool control over himself. He 
wouldn't be able to use the soul of ice, though, when the time came 
for his part to be done - he'd tried it the first time he'd done 
something like this, but it showed and he'd quickly been told to 
loosen up.

Pouring all his nervous energy into the meditative exercise, he 
overdid it and fell quietly asleep.



He was suddenly awoken by his cue - the loud music he'd selected, 
beating out of the portable stereo. Having drifted off with the 
signal firmly implanted into his mind, and the actions required 
thereafter, his body reacted before he was awake enough to be 
startled. To begin with though, he kept his eyes firmly clamped shut.

Miss July '98 burst out of the giant birthday cake, dancing sensually 
to the pounding music. Slowly and deliberately she began to remove 
the skimpy parody of a sailor uniform that adorned her lithe body, 
taking two steps forward, and then one step back, enticing the myriad 
perverted eyes that were no doubt roaming over her body at that very 
moment...

The music suddenly stopped. Accordingly, Onna-Ranma's body also 
stopped. She popped her eyes open, wondering what had happened.

The mess hall of the ageing battleship was empty, save for a single, 
well built man standing facing her. Reflexively, she `eep'ed and 
hastily closed the jacket tightly around her body, hiding away her 
exposed breasts. She mentally grimaced at the doubly inappropriate 
behaviour. `I'm a guy, damn it!' she reminded herself, in spite of 
the ever growing list of little things that suggested otherwise.

"Who are you?" the man asked, his voice tinted with a smooth European 
accent.

"Ranko Saotome. Who are /you/? And where is everyone?"

"I'm the ships cook. The rest of the crew have been taken hostage..."

                              *

That's it... I could have written more (like Ranma kicking Segal's butt), but didn't feel like it.

Ja!

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